Chapter 19
"Responsibility"
I must focus. Finding and following Exile's trail was not easy. Their hunting party had split from the main body just as we did, so it took all of us at the height of our senses to keep track of them. The waterways had multiplied and widened, mudding the land with an everlasting soak. The Spirit guided us the most, filling the gaps when the water and wind and time eroded the path. We traveled so far into the riverlands that we felt our paws would never be dry again.
And yet, the trail was always found. The hunt, renewed.
Having come from the riverlands, Ume and Watepei taught us how to fish and find clean water. They were our guides when the waters became deep and dangerous. Thus, they could not bear it when we finally came across the remnants of the Rivers pack. The place where they last stood their ground. We could not find the words to speak when we saw them. Most were already one with the earth from the time and heat and cairn eaters. Some had skeletons stolen, either by scavengers or the Shaman for his rituals. I was the first to step out into the graveyard. Mud and water sloshed over my paws as I walked up to one lost Mighty Hena in particular.
Parts of her leg were missing. She'd fallen on her chest. A pile of much smaller bones beneath her curled in toward her chest. Its skeleton was intact. There were no markings to name her. The scents of the swamp reeked only of death. Yet I knew her to be Wind Talker, a Mighty Hena I blessed myself for her impeccable hearing. A Mighty Hena who had done her old Mother proud by doing what she could to protect the pups, even if it was only in death by hiding their bones with her own so that they would not be stolen. Our hunt was not over. It could not stop for the sake of those still living, but I could not bring myself to leave her. To leave them. All these pitiful and precious Mighty Hena.
The pain struck me like the day I first learned of their passing. I could not rescue them. Nor raise them from the dead. But it was not too late to save their souls from becoming ghosts. The land was soiled and tainted, but the hope Guardian and the survivors carried with them into the grasslands left a trail. One their souls had been clinging onto. Perhaps the one we were following all along. I did not look back at the others although I knew they all watched me. I did not ask for permission for what I was about to do next. Like with the Mud Kin at the River, this was a Mother's duty, and Alpha did not try to stop me. It was not his place. My steps were quiet as I moved through the graveyard, assessing the fallen and gathering their lost bones to make each Mighty Hena as whole as I could.
Water quietly lapped at my legs as I worked. The weeds and grasses and plants rustled at my passing, whispering prayers as I put each and every one of these brave Mighty Hena to rest. I danced and howled for each of them. A small, but powerful ceremony reserved for only the mightiest of martyrs. It was not unlike the one I used to ward off the ghost at the river. Again and again, I sang. Sometimes, hearing the others chanting with me. Omega learned the words the fastest. I expected no less. Without disturbing the bones or my process, he eased his way to me, paws deep in water. He said nothing, but his eyes were determined to help. I was grateful for their brightness and strength.
I had not performed this much ceremony since the Bone Wars, and with every soul that fell asleep with the Spirit, I remembered two I had tucked away back then.
As far as I knew, Omega had no history with the Rivers, but his passion and reverence to make them right was as strong as any of their own. So as Alpha taught him the ways of battle, I taught him the ways of the Spirit. Where he knew how to defend and attack and evade, he learned how to venerate and honor and sanctify. His paws slid easily into place. He'd been watching carefully since the first dance and had been practicing in his mind's eye since he first saw the motions. He learned the steps just as quickly as the words and together we danced under the stars until dawn.
It was easy to leave the fallen then. With their souls at rest, ours were too, and we set out once more, carrying the shadow of their deaths on our backs. It was a heavy burden. One we were all familiar with. We carried it since we first heard Guardian howl for us. Since then, the days had grown shorter. The air less thick. And finally, the Spirit warned me to stop. I jerked to a halt.
"Go no further," I abruptly commanded of the others, looking ahead.
Gruff Growl happened to be nearby and grunted a sort of bark that reached those further up. It told them what he had felt in my words. Omega came in a little closer, trying to feel what I did to make the connection as to what it meant. Always learning. Alpha trotted over to me from the front, splitting the others without glance or growl. His red eyes honed in on me, testing me as an Alpha always did when another attempted to lead the pack. I met his gaze.
"We have reached the edge of the enemy's territory," I explained.
A small wave of understanding rippled out around the pack. With neither scent nor sight nor sound triggered, it meant there was a shift in the Spirit. One subtle enough that only those that excelled in it were able to perceive. And Mothers were not the only ones who could sense such things. I killed the Shaman, but he was not the worst of my fears. If we got any closer, the monster of my nightmares may be able to sense the Spirit of the pack, as strong as it was, and become uneasy enough to take precautions. The night belonged to the Mighty Hena, but there was one star we could not be seen by.
"The hunt ends here."
Alpha lifted his tail. The others glanced between us. I stepped a little closer, face to face with my Alpha.
"I know a way to continue, but I must go alone."
I laid out my obedience with this. But also, my resolution. The rest of the pack now understood that this was not about leadership. It was not for the sake of my ego. Expertise was needed and there was none more capable than me when it came to matters of the Spirit. Anyone else might be detected and the more of us that went, the stronger and harder to control it would be. We could take no chances. We needed to know the true power of the enemy we faced. But it was not up to me. Mothers and Fathers watched overall, but it was Alpha who ultimately decided our fate. Alpha looked at me a little harder and agreed to my proposition. We came too far to turn back now. Exile was finally within reach. If we did not respect the threat he posed, it would consume us like the Rivers pack.
We could endanger one life, but not the whole pack's.
I slipped past Alpha, my head below his. No more words need be said. No goodbyes. No luck. Mighty Hena did not need such things. We fought and we lived as hard as we could every day. We all had a purpose. And mine would take me into the heart of enemy territory. The others watched as I trotted away from them towards the very edge of our assured un-detection. They did not cry out, but I felt their reluctance. Their hesitation. I would need their longing to anchor me. Omega trotted along beside me, staying as close as he could for as long as he could. I wanted to take him with me, but it was far too dangerous. His Spirit was not yet strong enough. Besides, as my best connection to the pack, I needed him right where he was. We both slowed to a stop a little ways from the others.
"Be careful, Mother," Omega said to me, head surprisingly level.
His expression said something different, but he knew it was not the time for such sentimental feelings. I had no use for them because what I was about to do was as reckless as it was daring. These Blessed young ones were rubbing off on me.
"It is not care that I need," I told him in reply, not without my lessons, even now. "But confidence."
