Chapter 8

XXX, XXX, 2015.

I am in a hospital, waiting for a family member to come and get me. With me are my grandparents, but their eyes carry neither compassion nor reassurance. They are looks of disgust. For them, I am a monster. They thought I didn't understand, but I've seen that look far too many times.

"Your family members will be here soon."

"Okay, thank you doctor. Sorry for this" replies my grandfather.

"From now on, you're going to live back and forth between close relatives and distant relatives." explains my grandmother. "You'll be okay, right Senji-kun ?"

"Yes, i'm sorry."

"Well then, if anything happens, please call us."

"Okay, sorry for this."

My voice is empty of life. I look at myself in a mirror. My eyes are empty, my cheeks are hollow, welts all over my face and frail body. At that moment, I didn't realize it, being 8 years old, but I wanted to die, it was the only feeling I had left at that moment.

"Ah, Senji! My goodness, we went as fast as we could!" A familiar voice calls to me.

I turn my head to see the Kirigaya family arrive. My aunt Midori and my uncle Minetaka, accompanied by their daughter and my cousin Suguha. My grandparents approach them, leaving me alone on the cold bench.

They try to whisper, so I can't hear, but it's a futile effort.

"Geez, after what just happened, here we are now dealing with their monster of a child." my grandmother begins.

"Stop, he can hear" said my grandfather.

Hearing these words, my aunt plugs her daughter's ears in outrage.

"But aren't you ashamed to say that kind of thing? He's only a child and he just went through hell! Suguha my dear, go keep Senji company will you?"

Suguha nod her head and runs towards me. She sits next to me and takes my cold hand, without saying a word.

"It is because you refuse to see the truth, this child is a mistake! And that from the beginning! God, just when you wonder whether this disgusting kid has shut up, he starts blabbering on and on when he's all alone... also, if he comes back to us, it would only mean more food expenses ! Let's put him in an orphanage, if you keep him, he will bring us misfortune!"

"Shut up mom! I don't want to hear any more!" My aunt comes over and gives me a hug, then puts her hands on my cheeks. "Come on Senji come with us, you'll stay with us for a month, then it'll be at Ooyama okay, won't you?"

"Okay, i'm sorry..."

My mother killed my father. One night, before I went to bed, my father, completely drunk, started to beat me, like every other night. And like every other night, all I could do was scream and cry, calling for help. But my mother looked away and covered her ears, like every other night. But that night, something clicked in my head. My helplessness and loneliness. So I stopped screaming and calling for help, and let the tears flow by themselves.
As the beating was about to stop, I saw my mother coming towards us, kitchen knife in hand. And there, time is like stopping. Blood, blood all around. My mother started stabbing my father repeatedly. Blood was spurting from all sides, on me, on the floor, on my mother. When she finished, she forced me to get up, and went to the police.

And that's how my life changed drastically. From now on, every month, I changed my place of living, with family members, near or far. Some were against it, knowing the history, others didn't care and kept me by doing the minimum. And others were absolutely trying to take good care of me.

My parents used to send me to their house too, so I wouldn't get in their way.

I had in mind not to disturb anyone, to be as quiet as possible and to pass the time without asking anything, but... I felt that this plan had failed. A child who never laughs and is not friendly will never be accepted. Except for some, who welcomed me with open arms and did their best to make me feel at home. But unfortunately, the negative is always what comes out the most.

"This kid is always polite and formal with others, you know" Some were really trying to help me.

"Despite not speaking with us much, he talks to himself a lot ! What is wrong with him ?" And some people didn't even try to understand my deep distress and preferred to push me down even more.

After several months, i ended up living with Ryou, one of my mother's brother.

"It's been a while uncle."

my uncle lived alone in this house and I can clearly see that I am not really welcome.

"I'll set you up with room and board. You can do as you please. I'll do the same. Just, if you don't want to be kicked out, stay out of the store-house."

Since he always secluded himself to the store-house, we never talked apart from when it was necessary, but he didn't show blatant contempt or speak behind my back like my other relatives did. But after two weeks, my uncle was hospitalized, so I left to live with the Ooyama family earlier than expected...


Sunday, September 18, 2022.

I wake up suddenly. I turn my head to look at my alarm clock which reads 4:37 am. I let out a long sigh and sat down.

"This is the first time I've seen moments from my childhood."

Last night I became a devil in the service of Rias Gremory, I thought the changes would take a little longer, but it seems to affect my nights too. Why am I seeing these images ?

I lie down again and close my eyes, waiting for sleep. I wait a little, then look at my alarm clock, 4:40 am.

"I'm not going back to sleep, I've got some time on my hands."

I stare at my ceiling for a few minutes, then finally make my decision.

"Well, it's gaming time."


The sun has been up for a while, I remove my headset and hear the birds singing. I look at the time and see that it is 8:02 am.

"Alright, time to get up."

I leave my room and go slowly to the dojo. the slight inclination of the sun giving this nostalgic impression, the good smell of the morning, and the soft temperature accompany me. I do some physical exercises, and swing my shinai a number of times.

I leave the dojo soaked with sweat. I take clean clothes and head to the bathroom and take a nice cold shower.

I enter the kitchen to start preparing breakfast for everyone. For a change, I prepare a western breakfast, eggs, bacon, baked beans, sausages and toast.

At 9:00 am sharp, I hear Sakura coming in.

"Hello I'm here!"

Always right on time. Just waiting for the dish to heat up, I turn around and wait for Sakura.

She gently slides the door open and pokes her head through. Seeing me waiting for her, a wide smile spreads across her face and she enters the dining room.

"Hello Senpai, have you finished making breakfast yet?"

"Indeed, it just needs to heat up and it will be ready."

"Oh, a western breakfast! I still can't get to your level, you have to keep teaching me Senpai, wait for me next time!"

"Okay, no problem..."

Sakura turns to me and inspects my face.

"Senpai, you have huge dark circles. How long have you been awake?"

"Um... 4 in the morning..."

"What? Oh Senpai, even though it's Sunday, you shouldn't do that!"

"I know, but it's impossible to get back to sleep. Anyway, can you go see if the girls are awake?"

"Please Senpai, this is important! You can't sleep so badly!"

"It's okay Sakura, I'm used to it." I smiled at her, trying to reassure her.

"That's the problem..." Sakura mumbles something as she leaves the dining room.

At the same time, the timer ends, ringing the service.

"Ah, it's ready."

I can hear the laughter of the girls in the distance. (Well, if they're awake, I can start setting the plates.) The front door opens a second time.

"Hello it's me! Oh that smells good! That's Senji cooking isn't it?" Fuji-nee announces and runs down the hallway to join me.

"How many times have you told me not to run in the hallway, Fuji-nee?"

"But I'm a professional at last! Hello Senji, oh it's rare to see you cooking this kind of dish! oh I can't wait to be at the table!" Fuji-nee slides the door, then in some steps of dance gives me a hug from behind.

"Yes, I thought why not change from time to time. Here, can you set the table while I get the plates ready?"

"Yes sir! by the way, isn't Sakura here?"

"Yes, she went to see if the girls are awake."

"Ah okay, come on hurry up, I'm hungry!" she said as she finished setting the last place settings.

(Well, it's only when she's hungry that she gets so agitated...)

"Here you go, I'm coming, help me though, I can't take all the plates!"

Clumsy as we are, we finally manage to sit down and start eating.

"Hmmmm! It's so good! Ah Senji, you really need to do more of this!"

"You know, it's not free this kind of food..."

"Ah, I know that but, ahhh I could never live without it... oh, here they come"

"Oh that smells good, what is Senji-sama cooking?"

"A Western breakfast. Have you ever had one?"

"Western? but this kind of thing is expensive!"

"Who cares now that it's on the plate right? Hello chef!" Kodama slides the door wide open, revealing the whole gang of girls.

"Hello girls, come on hurry up and settle down, before it gets cold!" Fuji-nee waves at them.

And with this calm morning atmosphere, breakfast is spent in a good mood. But, my uncle's house reappears in my mind, and especially his store-house.

(Why I have a bad feeling...)

"Senji, is everything okay?" Fuji-nee calls to me.

"Hm? Oh yes, everything is fine, just a little absence."

"Fujimura-sensei, Have you seen Senpai's dark circles? He told me that he slept very badly last night!" Sakura calls Fuji-nee, who is not surprised.

"Y-yes I did."

"Fuji-nee, today I'm going to see Kiritsugu."

"Ah I would have gone with you, but I have tests to prepare."

"Fujimura-sensei, please don't make them too hard!" Inaho tries to coax Fuji-nee.

"Don't worry Inaho-chan, this is the beginning for you, but obviously things will get tougher as we go along."

"That doesn't make me feel any better!"

"Um, Kiritsugu is your adoptive father if I understand correctly Senji?" Ask Haruko.

"Yes."

"And why isn't he here? Does he live somewhere else?"

"He died a little while ago already." Fuji-nee answers for me.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know..."

"Don't worry, the subject never really came up anyway."

"And so, how did he die? if the question is not too much to ask..." asks Kodama, with her usual subtlety.

"From exhaustion." answers Fuji-nee.

"What?" Kodama, Inaho and Haruko are surprised.

"After all the traveling around the world, and all the fighting he did in his life, he died one night. I wasn't there when it happened, it was Senji who called us at that time." Explains Fuji-nee.

"Oh wow, a real vigilante." Kodama looks surprised.

"I was actually sitting next to him when he closed his eyes for good. A peaceful end for a man who suffered a great part of his life."

"Senji..." Haruko is worried.

"By the way Fuji-nee, I am also planning to visit a family member."

Fuji-nee turns her head towards me, not believing her ears.

"Really? That's it? you're going to start facing your past?"

"Yes, it's time for me to go see them. Even though I know it's just for the sake of it and I'll be forever traumatized. But I still want to try."

"Very well, you have my full support Senji. I know you want to accomplish this alone, but you know I'm here for you okay?"

"Obviously, thank you Fuji-nee."

We finish eating quietly, always in this good mood, even if the girls are more wary.


About ten minutes later, as I was getting ready to leave, Fuji-nee came to me and gave me some money.

"Here, it's to buy the flowers. When do you think you'll come back?" asks Fuji-nee.

"Tonight, I don't plan to stay too long."

"Okay, just remember to take a deep breath, and everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Oh yes, thank you, by the way you're making me think about taking incense too. Well I'm off, see you tonight."

"Just like there was some left. Have a nice day!" Fuji-nee hands me a packet of incense.

"Yes, have a nice day."

I slip out the front door and gently make my way to the cemetery. After several minutes of walking, I see the walls that border the cemetery. I make a small detour to a florist, asking for two bouquets of chrysanthemums. Then I enter the cemetery, greeting the guard I now know well.

"Hello Emiya, a beautiful day isn't it?"

"Hello sir." I look up at the sky, blue, with some small white clouds, like birds flying in the wind. "Indeed, I thought it was a good time to see Kiritsugu."

"Sure, let me make a note of your passing... and here you go, come on I'll go with you."

I go with the guard in the direction of my father's grave. Looking carefully, I notice that the number of graves has increased drastically.

Then we stop in front of a magnificent and large tombstone, decorated with great care.

"The guys who came to clean the grave came by the day before yesterday, they do a really great job, I should hire them for the other graves really."

"It may cost you dearly, sir."

"Ah I know, but it would save me a lot of time, especially with all those extra graves... Anyway, I'll leave you alone. Take your time young man."

The guard leaves, patting me on the shoulder. I return my attention to the grave.

(If the guard knew that all this is thanks to the Yakuza, he would not believe it).

I stoop down and place the bouquets of flowers in the places provided for this purpose and light the incense, then I go and get a bucket of water and a ladle. I fill the bucket with water at the watering place, then with the ladle, I gently drip the water on the top of the grave to purify it.

And finally, I bow with my hands together.

"Hello Kiritsugu, in just two weeks, a lot has happened, I'll skip the details but you should see the crowd at home. Anyway today I'm going to visit an uncle, the last time I saw him he was living alone in a house similar to ours, a strange coincidence isn't it? Anyway, from where you are, wish me luck, Fuji-nee has already made the pitch, but I shudder just thinking about it... On that note I'm going, see you next time."

I salute the guard one last time, then head for the station. I remember perfectly where he lives. I remember everything, anyway, how to forget that time.


Here I am in this small village, surrounded by fields. For a little less than a thousand inhabitants, this place is very well maintained, it is almost a small paradise. All houses have a traditional style, like mine and my uncle's house is no exception.

I come to the front door, but a message is written on it.

[I am currently in the hospital, please contact me at this number, or call the hospital number].

(Shit, I thought that since the time, his health would have stabilized...)

"Don't you want to go straight to the hospital to see him?" asks Ddraig.

"No, I would be unable to face him in a public place."

I lower my glance, on the ground are posed of small slab, which are used as way. But if one looks well, one in of it can be withdrawn. In truth, it is necessary to know its location, otherwise it is like the others. I look around, seeing no one, I lift the slab and retrieve the key hidden below.

"If you ever lose your keys or forget them, there's a key here, just in case." I remember my uncle's words, pointing to me and the slab in question.

I put the slab down carefully, and open the front door. Taken by a strong anxiety, I move slowly through the house.

"Why do I anguish like this, obviously there is no one."

"Partner, there is something strange emanating from the store-house."

"Seriously ? so this bad feeling I had this morning..."

"We better check to see if it's safe."

"Um... I want to but, my uncle has forbidden me to set foot there..."

"As you wish, but I would have warned you."

"Damn it..."

I force myself to go to the storehouse, passing by the garden which is yellow, probably because of lack of maintenance. I find myself in front of the storehouse. I take a deep breath and open the door. Dressers, various objects, books, bags etc... So far nothing unusual, except that it is extremely untidy. I press the light button but nothing happens.

"Huh, how long has he been gone?"

I take my phone and use the lamp. I take a few steps forward and then a mouse runs in front of me.

"Fuck!"

"Relax partner. It's nothing."

"I know sorry, it's just... harder than I expected."

I search here and there but find nothing and yet I feel it, this strange aura. Having searched the entire right side, I now move to the left side, the first thing in front of me is a chest. I open it and to my surprise, it is stairs leading to a basement that presents itself to me.

"Your uncle seems to want to hide something."

"Yeah, and we'll find out what."

I walk down the stairs, putting aside my insecurity. I go down the last step and press the button of the light which this time lights up. I cover my eyes for a second to get used to the light, then look around. Creepy is the first word that comes to mind.

Unnaturally angled ceiling and walls, Cluttered piles of books, Strange patterns and formulas that were scribbled on and pungent smells that penetrate the eyes. All of them bring about discomfort and cause dizziness.

"What the... this place... What was my uncle doing here ?"

Suddenly, black, almost liquid tentacles emerge from the ground. Then...

"Good morning!" something taking human form appeared. "So tell me, what do you wish for?"

"Ah..."

Long squirming hairs as if cursed by the colour of a moonless night, a white voluptous physique and dissonant hooves from a particular beast's legs, two horns which are too abominable to call a goat's.

"Oh my, how strange... Not kneeling or screaming at the sight of me, hm ?" And that malevolence and contrasting smile filled with kindness.

"Ah, um, how could I be afraid of someone as gorgeous as you..." Shit, it just came out.

She reacted, it was light, but she reacted. So I decide to start the conversation.

"So um, are you a devil?"

"Fufu... Demon, evil goddess, black goat... Many names have come to me, but... this is the first time I've heard being called one of those devils cuties!" She said, laughing. "So it's possible to be summoned by someone who doesn't know what i am..."

"Ah sorry, indeed, I don't know who you are... although black goat sounds familiar..."

The more I look at her, the more I am attracted to her. She is more beautiful than any woman I have ever seen... I can't look at her directly.

"Fufu~ it's okay. But yes, my most famous title is the black goat. I am the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. At times, your kind may call me a goddess, and at other times, the demon of the night. I will grant you what you wish for in exchange for what you treasure most." She brings her face very close to mine, looking down on me, her hand on my right cheek. "Tell me. What is it that you wish for ?"

I look her straight in the eye, Shivers ran along my body that were hard to describe, as if i've been touched by darkness... A being antithetical to humans... A being which thinks nothing of humans... A being which cannot be understood by humans...

For the second time, I became aware of death. But this death is softer, calmer.

Everything from me in exchange for something I want to get. The problem is... I don't want anything. No matter how hard I look, I can't find anything. What I want most... is to protect everyone, but that can't be done through a wish. What I miss in life... is being strong, but again, I can't accomplish that through a wish. The thing I really wanted...

"sorry, I have no wishes, and I have nothing to offer you anyway."

Her eyes widen with surprise. She probes my mind, my soul.

"I guess you don't believe me but it's the truth..."

"No, I believe you, I can see it, you are empty. How is that possible?"

Suddenly, a big monster half frog half octopus comes out of the darkness, from the same place where she comes from.

"Oh my, did you manage to summon another demon besides me? That's really impressive."

Seeing this hideous thing approaching, I place myself in front of her to protect her and activate my magic circuits.

"We need to escape, go ahead, I'm holding this thing back!"

Instead of following what I say, she wraps her body around mine, forcing my face to face her.

"You are a very intriguing young man, you have piqued my interest." I can feel her chest pressing against me.

"Um, what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll keep you company until you decide your wish. I will follow you, and live by your side, I want to see what you will become." she said with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

"Huh? Why does everyone find me interesting these days?"

"Hmm ? Ah, would you tell me your name ?"

"Senji, Senji Emiya."

"Senji.. Senji... now that's an unusual name, beautiful."

"I've always been told it's a cursed name..."

I see her hesitate for a second, then smile again.

"Don't worry about it. From now on, I'll be your night. From my thousands of endless nights... How does "Chiyo" which means a thousand night, sound ?"

Still very close to her, her two hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at her beautiful face, I can only blush after having given me her name.

"Chiyo...san..."

When I pronounce her name, she puts her lips on mine, but not only, her tongue embraces mine. I can feel a connection between the two of us, as our energy connects. She forces me closer, with her hair taking the form of tentacles, she wraps them around my body and brings me closer, her hands still on my cheeks.

She finally frees herself from my mouth, with a trickle of drool, her face is slightly red, an hypnotic, almost erotic look. Mine must be as red as a tomato.

"Now I am yours, at least until you find your wish."

Then she releases her hold, depositing me delicately on the ground, I feel weak. And she faces the demon who is now only a few centimeters away from us, its giant mouth accompanied by 4 huge tentacles is about to devour us.

"It's fine, Senji-kun ! Leave this to Chiyo-chan, okay ?"

I feel my mind escape, my body relax, I feel at ease, as if nothing could happen to me, then everything goes black.


Mixed with the smell of tatami, there was the smell of an unknown flower which resembled a camillia's. An elegant, faint sound of breathing, something soft and cold touching my forehead.

"What the..." I slowly open my eyes.

"Hi Senji-kun." Chiyo is sitting next to me. "It looks like the contract went well!"

Feeling a surge of energy, I stand up suddenly surprised by her presence.

"Don't get up so suddenly. Continue to rest."

"Eh? um... Are you okay? I blacked out, leaving you alone with that..."

She puts her index finger on my lips, then smiles at me, a radiant smile.

"From now on, let's trust each other, okay?"


Greetings to you all, thank you for reading this chapter 8. A very difficult chapter to adapt and write. I always try to imagine as much as possible the things I want to write, and to imagine a child being beaten violently until he bleeds... well there are happier things to think about. That and trying to bring out a maximum of what Senji can live between the past and the present is quite difficult, since even if he is traumatized for life, he has still evolved since those 7 years. But of course I would come back to his past, you have only read a fraction, so be ready for the rest. I didn't want a simple banal family death like in every good shonen/seinen and other genre, no, much more dramatic, much more cruel, remember, the world where Senji lives is extremely violent. I hope you will see all the little subtleties that this chapter has to offer. I know my writing and storytelling isn't very good, but I really tried to create a mood, a story, just with all the little descriptions here and there.

That's about all I had to say, I may have forgotten something, but I'll let the story do it for me. Thanks again for reading this chapter, and see you next week.