Chapter 3: Cheeseburger Backpack
The scene opens on the beach near the Crystal Temple where Steven is outside singing with Dedede next to him.
(sitting on a rock and singing) "Hey Mr. Postman, bring me a post, bring me the post that I love the most." (stops singing as a mailman appears) "Huh?" (gasps and gets excited) "My song came true! Do you have a package for me today?!" Steven asked in excitement
"So this is Jamie, nice to meet ya mailman, I'm Dedede." Dedede said
"Good to meet you too, sir, now hold on." (opens his mailbag) "Let me see what I've got here." (takes out a peculiar package) "Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?" Jamie asked
"Ooh, bread!" Dedede said in excitement
"No." Steven said (as he nudged Dedede back a bit before he could grab the loaf of bread.)
(pulls out envelope) "Did you order a jury summon for R.J. Finkle?" Jamie asked
"Who?" Dedede asked
"That's not me, I'm Steven." Steven said
"Oh, right, right, right, Steven!" (pulls out a parcel) "Here it is, Steven Universe." Jamie said
"Ha!" (ecstatically) "This thing is gonna help me save the world." Steven said
"Really? It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company." Jamie said
"Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl think I shouldn't go on magic adventures because I don't know how to use my Gem powers." Steven said
"...That seems reasonable." Jamie said
"But there are other ways he can help." Dedede said
"With a Wacky Sack?" Jamie asked
"Exactly!" Steven said
"Do you know how you can save my world?" (takes out a signature pad) "Sign here, please." Jamie said
"Aah!" Steven said (writes his name and draws stars over it)
"Is that important?" Dedede asked
"Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures" Jamie said
"That's awful." (Steven's house suddenly starts glowing from the inside.) "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are back!" Steven said (grabs the parcel and runs up the stairs towards his house)
"Until next time!" Dedede said (follows Steven to the house)
"Wait, Steven! What is a Wacky Sack?!" Jamie asked
We go to the house where Steven and Dedede are heading to the door and head in.
(enters the house) "Huh?" Steven asked
(follows Steven into the house.) "What the?" Dedede asked
(covered in feathers) "Hello, Steven." Garnet said
"Amethyst, we do not need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge!" Pearl said
"What? I got this." (slowly slides a tray out of the fridge, spilling a carton of milk and dropping a bag of bagels, and puts the giant egg inside) "Look, it fits! Ha!" (slams the fridge door, as a crack is heard from the inside) "Oh man, We can make a big omelet, or a quiche, or big sunny side ups!" Amethyst said
(walks over to the fridge and opens it for the inside of the giant egg to start oozing out) "or not, it's broken." Dedede said
"What!?" Amethyst asked in fright (pushes Dedede out of the way to see it.)
(unamused, and turns to Steven) "We fought a giant bird. We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out." Pearl said
"What? Why?" Steven asked
(shows Steven a statue she's holding) "We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. (slaps Dedede's hand away from trying to grab it) "Without it, the whole place will fall apart! Oh, Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday." (projects a hologram of the Sea Spire) "It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue!" Pearl said
"You can make pictures with the gem on your forehead?" Dedede asked
"It's a hologram!" Pearl shouted (causes Dedede to back up a bit in fright.)
"Wha?" (eyes light up) "That's perfect!" Steven said
"What? Why?" Pearl asked
"Because I can help carry it for you, in this!" Steven said (opens the parcel and makes dramatic sound effects, as he pulls out a burger-shaped bag)
"A hamburger?" Pearl asked
"It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger! Aww, I blew it." (puts it on one shoulder) "I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like, 'Dang, Steven, that's so cool.' But this is obviously important Gem business." Steven said
"Yes, so you should let us take care of it." Pearl said
"What? I'm a Gem!" Steven said (lifts up his shirt and points at his navel gemstone)
"But you've still got a lot to learn." Pearl said
"So, let him come! It'll be educational." Amethyst said
"Hmm, alright. You can carry it in your hamburger." (hands the statue to Steven) "but we're bringing Dedede along as well, I don't trust him being here alone." Pearl said (points her thumb at Dedede who is trying to collect as much egg that is coming out from the fridge as he can)
"Hmm!" (opens the backpack) "Check this out! Everything's a pocket! Even the cheese is a pocket! I could fit a lot more stuff in here. Give me a minute! I'll pack extra supplies." Steven said
"Supplies for what?" Dedede asked (as he walked over to Pearl holding a big bowl of the egg oozing making her stand back in disgust)
(Steven begins rummaging his house for supplies, such as a bag of bagels, two sweaters, a kite, an inflatable raft, and more clothes. While in his room, he accidentally steps on a stuffed toy. Steven picks it up and starts laughing and shaking it.)
"Ooh, kid, don't shake me!" the toy said
"Mr. Queasy!" Steven said (continues laughing and shaking it)
"Ooh, I got a medical condition!" Mr. Queasy said
"You're definitely gonna come in handy!" Steven said (removes a first aid kit from his backpack and stuffs Mr. Queasy in)
"Steeeveeen! Let's gooo!" Pearl shouted
"This thing we're on looks like the one Escargoon made to send me here." Dedede said
"Someone from your world made a warp pad without help from a gem?" Pearl asked
"That's what it's called! Oh man, I've been wondering what it was called from the first day I came here from one." Dedede said
"Coming!" Steven said (walks down the steps and onto the warp pad)
"Woah! Steven, did you bring your whole room?" Pearl asked
"Back that 'thang' up." Amethyst said
"Let's warp." Garnet said
"Warp?" Dedede asked
"You'll see." Garnet said
(A blue light beams from the warp pad but Dedede and Steven's stomachs blocks part of it.)
"Suck it in, guys!" Amethyst said
(Dedede and Steven inhales, pulling their stomachs in, and the Crystal Gems begin to ascend.)
"So this is how one looks when it's not in testing." Dedede said
"Do you remember how to do this?!" Pearl asked in fright
(Steven starts laughing and somersaulting in the beam, sticking his head out of the warp stream.)
"Keep your head in." (pulls Steven's head back in) "Come on!" Pearl said
"I'd listen to her kid, don't want to lose ya out there." Dedede said
(The Crystal Gems arrive on another warp pad. Steven, still floating, falls onto Dedede's head. They all turn to look at Sea Spire.)
"Whoa, the Sea Spire!" Steven said
"Look at the size of it, it's huge!" Dedede said
(The Gems sigh as a piece of the Spire breaks off from the structure.)
"It wasn't like this a hundred years ago." Pearl said
"I'm sensing structural instability." Garnet said
"Oh, yeah." (cracks start forming around him and Dedede) "That's never good." Steven said
"Reminds me of the time I cracked Escargoon's shell, I was curious about what he…" Dedede didn't finish
"Gah! Steven!" Pearl shouted (rushes towards Steven)
"Wha?" Steven asked (The ground below starts to break off, Pearl manages to save Steven just in time, as the ground collapses into the water while Dedede manages to hold onto the edge of the ground.)
"A little more warning next time!" Dedede shouted (began climbing back up with help from Garnet.)
(hugging Steven tightly) "Alright, hold on. We're taking Steven back!" Pearl said
(triggered from Pearl's hug) "Ooh, my aching stomach!" Mr. Queasy said
(leaps off of Pearl) "Oh, Mr. Queasy!" Steven said (takes the toy out of his backpack and shakes it while laughing with Dedede laughing along)
"It's killing me!" Mr. Queasy said
"STEVEN!!!" (makes Steven stop laughing as Dedede jumped back in fright landing on top of Garnet as she grunted from it) "This place is your heritage. I want you to stay and help, but you really got to take this seriously! Can you do that, Steven?" Pearl asked
"You got it, dude!" Steven said (sticks tongue out)
(unconvinced) "Yessssss…" Pearl said uneasily
"Enough." (pushes Dedede off making him yelp in surprise) "We have to move." Garnet said
(The Crystal Gems run up to the edge of a cliff, before Garnet signals them to stop.)
"What's the hold-up? We can clear this easily." Amethyst said
"No. The magic that sustains the whirlpool creates a vortex that will pull us below." Garnet said
"Oh please, if that were true, I'd wear a chicken hat for the rest of this adventure." (picks up a rock nearby and hurls it over. It quickly gets halted in its trajectory and pulled by the vortex.) "pretend I didn't say any of that." Dedede said
"So we can't jump?" Pearl asked
"Oh, wait!" Steven said (open his backpack and pulls out two sweaters)
"What are those for?" Amethyst asked
(ties the sweaters together) "They were for keeping warm, but check it out!" Steven said
(Steven whips one end through a hole in the Spire and catches it. He takes a deep breath.)
"Steven!" Amethyst shouted
"Wait!" Pearl shouted
"Stop!" Dedede shouted
(Steven runs and jumps off the cliff. The vortex starts to pull him down.)
"He's getting sucked down!" Amethyst shouted
"STEVEN!" Dedede and the Gems yelled
(Clinging onto the sweaters which prevent him from being sucked in, Steven finds his footing on the side of the Spire and begins to pull himself upwards.)
"Cheesssse-burrrr-gerrrr-" Steven muttered (manages to land into the Spire unscathed, panting)
"Steven! Way to go! C'mon, guys!" (summons her whip from her gem, whips it around the same hole of the sweaters, and hoists Dedede, Garnet and Pearl over her shoulder) "Steven style!" Amethyst said (swings over the vortex and ascends into the Spire the same way as Steven)
(to Steven) "Don't ever do that again!" Pearl said
"Sorry!" Steven said (gets patted on the head by Garnet)
"But, it was pretty great." Pearl said
"Yeah, that was some quick thinking there." (laughs while nudging his elbow against Pearl only to stop from Steven pulling a chicken hat out of his backpack and slumped) "aw man." Dedede said (grabs the hat and puts it on his head.)
(The scene changes to where the Crystal Gems walk inside the Lunar Sea Spire and look around it.)
(commenting on the structural damages) "Oh, no, no, no, this is even worse than the outside. Ugh... that's... Oh! Oh, this didn't used to be so... Oh, and the water damage. This pillar... Oh, and this had a head... Oh, Steven, once the statue's in place, it'll restore all of this to its former glory…" (sees some creatures crawling around a statue's shoulders) "Aah- Ah- Aaah!" Pearl yelled in panic (summons her spear and slices the statue in half)
"What was that goober?" Steven asked
"Crystal Shrimp." Pearl said
"Good thing I don't eat shrimp." Dedede said
"You guys, we have a problem!" Amethyst said
(Dedede, Steven and Pearl run up the stairs to Garnet and Amethyst to inspect the problem.)
(sees tons of Crystal Shrimps and gasps) "It's an infestation. And we have to pass through there to get to the top." Pearl said
"Yup, just lost interest in eating shrimp." Dedede said
(leans towards one of the Crystal Shrimps) "Can't you just squish 'em?" Steven asked
(pulls Steven away) "Don't touch that, their shards are deadly! We need to clear a path." (projects a hologram Amethyst) "Amethyst, if you go around to the side and disturb them with a spin attack…" (projects a Garnet on the ceiling) "And Garnet, if you move to the ceiling and strike this exact spot…" (projects an X) "then I can advance with my-" Pearl didn't finish (projects herself)
(interrupting Pearl) "BAGEL SANDWICH!" Steven shouted
"Yummy." Dedede said
(Steven tosses two bagel sandwiches onto either side of the room before Dedede could grab one. The Crystal Shrimps proceed to swarm towards the bagel sandwiches, clearing a path for the Crystal Gems.)
"Brilliant." Garnet said
"Oh, hey, what do you know?" Amethyst asked
(dispels her hologram) "Uh, uh... How did you know that would work?" Pearl asked
"Well, if I were a shrimp, that's what I would do." Steven said
(to Pearl) "You are a shrimp." Amethyst said
(laughs from what Amethyst said while patting her on the back.) "good one Amethyst!" Dedede said
"I just want everyone to know, my plan would have also worked." Pearl said
(The Crystal Gems proceed to cross the cleared path and climb the stairs. They reached the top of the stairs when-)
(halts the group) "Watch out!" Garnet shouted
(The wall to their left cracks and bursts open, forming a gushing stream of water.)
"What are we gonna do?" Dedede asked
(Dedede and the Gems look at Steven.)
"What? Me?" Steven asked
"What have you got?" Amethyst asked
(starts chanting) "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!" (Steven nervously searches inside his backpack.) Pearl, c'mon." Amethyst said
"Oh, alright." Pearl said
(chanting together) "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!" Dedede, Pearl & Amethyst chanted
(pulls out an inflatable raft) "A raaaaft!" Steven shouted (pulls the raft's handle and inflates it)
"Wow!" Dedede, Amethyst & Garnet said
"Steven, that's so sensible!" Pearl said
(Steven throws the raft onto the water. It quickly floats away and gets washed out off the side of the Spire. Dedede, Steven, Pearl and Amethyst groan. Garnet proceeds to kick over a nearby pillar and uses it to form a bridge over the water which caught the others attention.)
"Good idea anyway, Steven." Garnet said
(The Crystal Gems cross the bridge to the other side and begin to walk up another staircase.)
"Yeah, they can't all be winners." Amethyst said
(The Crystal Gems slowly climb up the winding stairs around the Spire. They finally reach the top, and Steven stares in awe. The Gems approach a pedestal.)
"This is it. The Moon Lordess pedestal." (looks up) "And the moon is almost overhead! It's not too late to save this piece of history!" Pearl said
"Steven, the statue." Garnet said
(sticks his hand into his backpack, but feels something is missing) "Uhh, I, uh, ah, uhh…" Steven muttered (rummages the other compartments of the backpack)
"What's the hold-up?" Amethyst asked
"Yeah, you okay kid?" Dedede asked
(horrified) "I don't have it." Steven said
(Dedede and the Gems gasp in shock.)
"WHAT?!" Pearl asked in fright
"I must have left it on the bed!" Steven said
(Dedede and the Gems turn to look at the moon as it slowly drifts overhead.)
"There's... There's no time…" Pearl said
"Wait!" (reaches into his backpack) "I have an idea!" Steven said (pulls out Mr. Queasy)
"Aah.." Pearl said uneasily
"Your toy?" Dedede asked
"Could that work?" Amethyst asked
(Dedede, Pearl and Amethyst turn to Garnet, who shrugs in response. Steven walks to the pedestal and places Mr. Queasy upright on the pedestal.)
(falls over) "Oh, kid, don't shake me!" Mr. Queasy said
(A ray of light begins to beam from the pedestal towards the moon. Mr. Queasy is levitated off the pedestal by the beam. It begins to violently shake and explodes, causing the Crystal Gems to scream. The ground then starts shaking and cracks begin to form on the roof of the Spire. The waterfall around the Spire also starts to close in towards the structure.)
"Everyone, keep steady!" Garnet shouted
(Amethyst collapses into Garnet as Dedede falls on top of them.)
(watching the destruction unravels) "No, no, no, no, no!" Steven said in panic
(The Spire begins to crumble and falls apart, separating the Crystal Gems in the process. The whole structure collapses till there is nothing left but the ocean. The Crystal Gems then emerge one by one on the water surface.)
"This is all my fault! I broke it." Steven said
(emerges from underwater underneath Steven surprising him as he was laying flat on the water like a board.) "There's no need to get upset, kid, you did what you could." Dedede said
"He's right, Steven, the Spire was falling apart when we got here. You handled everything well under pressure. You did great!" Pearl said
"Yeah, two out of four of your ideas worked. That's fifty percent." Amethyst said
"Yeah. I guess you're right. They can't all be winners." Steven said
(The raft from before pops up to the water surface and the Gems stare in amazement.)
"Make that three out of four." Dedede said
(cheering) "WOOO!" Steven shouted
(The Crystal Gems all get onto the raft.)
(chanting) "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!" Dedede, Pearl and Amethyst chanted
(glaring out into the distance) "It's a three-hour paddle home." Garnet said
"That long?" Dedede asked (flops back on the raft groaning in frustration making it wobble a bit causing the others to hang on.)
(retrieves a bagel from his backpack) "Anyone want a wet bagel?" Steven asked
(Steven sticks his tongue out playfully, as the star iris zooms in on him, ending the episode.)
