Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK!
By jhosmer1
2365
"Enterprise, may I ask you a question?"
Enterprise appeared in Data's quarters in a shimmer of holographic light. At his request, she had installed hardlight emitters here because they often spent time discussing the human condition together and exploring their creative limits.
"Of course, Data. What's on your mind?"
The pale android held up a PADD. "I am reading various treatises on why humans prefer some things to other things in the absence of objective data. It is a curious phenomenon that not even humans seem to understand."
"Well, you're right about that. I first studied the problem back in the 2260s and I couldn't figure it out... they just 'like what they like.'" She frowned at the memory. "Why did he prefer blondes?"
Data let that comment pass, having grasped the concept of rhetorical questions after a long struggle.
"I have noticed that you have your own preferences, and I thought your experiences might inform my own research. For instance, I overheard you mention that you dislike lemons. What led to you forming this dislike?"
2273
"Enterprise, did you ever get that intermix problem fixed with your refit?" Yorktown asked as they shared some tea in the Borderlands while docked at Starbase One.
"Well, Scotty is trying a few new things, but it keeps cropping back up. I guess the new vertical warpcore has some bugs."
"Wow," Esby, the avatar of Starbase One said, a little snidely. "Looks like you've got a lemon on your hands, Sis."
"A lemon?" Enterprise asked.
"I heard father mention it," Esby said, meaning Admiral Robert April. "It refers to something that fails to live up to expectations."
Enterprise gave a half-hearted laugh. "Well, I'm sure that we'll work it out."
2281
"How's Starfleet Academy working out, sis?" Hornet asked Enterprise. the two of them were hanging out in Earth Space Dock's common Borderlands. Several other shipgirls were hanging out as well, engaging in small talk and playing various games.
"It's definitely a slower paced life," Enterprise said, "but I like watching the cadets grow and learn. Republic has been full of good advice." She looked sour. "Especially when we're both in dock for repairs."
"Still having problems? Well, at least you're taking those lemons and making lemonade."
Enterprise twitched.
2286
"U.S.S. Enterprise, shakedown cruise report. I think this new ship was put together by monkeys. Och, she's got a fine engine, but half the doors won't open, and guess whose job it is to make it right?"
"I'm sorry, Scotty. If I knew what Yorktown was giving us, I would have refused her."
"It's OK, lass. Life throws you some lemons sometimes."
"Right... lemons."
2293
Jim was gone.
She had just taken a little time off to get the 1701-A settled into the Fleet Museum, missing the christening of her new body. It should have been routine. Afterwards, she and Jim were going to spend some more time out at the farm before she shipped out.
It all left a sour taste in her mouth and a hole in her soul.
Still, she was Starfleet. She would do her duty and push through. Her crew needed her.
"Back in spacedock for repairs," she heard one one ensign say as he came on board.
"Man, I hope that this Enterprise isn't a lemon like her old body was," another said.
Again with the lemons. Always with the lemons!
2366 (Alternate)/2344 (subjective)
"Enterprise."
"Enterprise."
It was hardly the first time she'd met someone claiming to be herself, and this one had the signs and countersigns she had devised long ago for these situations.
"Would you like the strategic situation?" D asked.
"If you mean would I like to know what the hell is going on, the answer is yes." C replied.
"We've been at war with the Klingons for almost 20 years. We... we weren't ready. We had gotten too used to peace. Once they had a few victories under their belts, the Gorn, the Tholians, the Cardassians, and the Romulans all piled on like sharks attracted to blood in the water."
Enterprise was surprised. There had been peace with the Klingons... a fragile peace, yes, but Jim and the others had managed to secure that peace. And now... it was all gone.
"We need all the ships we can get," D continued, "but I'm afraid nothing is going to make lemonade out of these lemons."
Even her other self used the term!
2365
"Oh, no real reason, Data," Enterprise said.
Azur Lane Enterprise hates lemons, and so I thought, what the hey, give the Star Trek Enterprise a reason to dislike them too...