Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Enterprise: Playing Hooky

Enterprise was docked for some upgrades after the conclusion of the Klingon Civil War. As a result, the entire crew was taking some well deserved shore leave. Picard himself was relaxing in his quarters with a good book and some tea. His chrono chimed an alert about crew readiness review reports, and he lifted his eyes from the page.

"Enterprise?"

A tall, curvy, leggy blonde did indeed materialize-Just not the one he was expecting. Picard blinked.

"Howdy, Captain! I have the review reports you requested!"

"Hornet?" Picard asked in confusion, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, sorry," Hornet said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, "I suppose Enterprise forgot to tell you-I'm managing the systems of the hulls of several ships in the docks right now while they undergo some downtime. It's required for them to stay in tip top shape!"

"I see," Picard said, eyes slightly narrowed, "strange of her to not notify me."

"It probably just slipped her mind," Hornet said cheerfully.

Picard stared intensely at the AI. She fidgeted a bit.

"A mind capable of sixty trillion calculations a second at the low end of her computational capacity?" Picard asked slowly. Hornet looked nervous.

"Er... But of course, sir!"

"Despite her leaving me a reminder for crew readiness review reports?" Picard pressed. Hornet began to look to the side.

"Um... Absolutely! She just forgot to tell you this one, teeny tiny, itsy bitsy..."

Picard was now glaring. Hornet coughed.

"... Tiiiinyyyy little thing," she emphasized, "and she's absolutely not doing anything borderline illegal with other shipgirls! Not at all!"

Picard's glare held.

"That's a strangely specific denial, Hornet," Picard stated.

Hornet gained some sweat on her brow. Picard would applaud the programmers for their attention to detail.

"Now, I'm going to ask you once again," Picard stated, "where is Enterprise?"

Hornet blinked.

Elsewhere...

Enterprise blinked and looked up.

"I get the feeling that Hornet just squealed on us."

"You too, huh?" Akagi asked.

"Stop making excuses!" Quo'nos'wa demanded, "and play the hand!"

Enterprise laid her cards on the table in the dingy bar somewhere on the Klingon homeworld. The Federation and Klingon shipgirls gathered around all groaned. Bortas threw her cards up in disgust.

"A straight flush?! AGAIN?!" Bortas growled, "you have to be cheating!"

Enterprise grinned.

"They don't call me Lucky E for nothing~!"

Because even shipgirls need to play hooky once in a while...