Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Where Pleasant Fountains Roon

By jhosmer

2381, USS Cerritos, in orbit of Galidor IV

Roon skipped happily along the corridor to her room, happily anticipating another fun night with her Captain, Ensign Bradward Boimler. She was enjoying her court-mandated time in the lower decks of a California-class ship. This time free of the responsibilities of a hull and crew was good for her… and let her focus all her attention on her one, true—

"Attention crew. We will be stopping over in the Galidor System. Shore Leave on Galidor IV is available, if limited. If you wish to partake, please inform your chain of command."

As the message repeated over the intercom, Roon came to stop. Her eyes changed from their usual brown to crimson. Her gait now serious, she turned on her heel and marched away.

2380, Unnamed Desert Planet

Systems Online…
Power at 10%.
Peripherals down.
Main Core Intact.
Quantum Link Intact.
Gynoid at 58% efficiency.
WARNING! Malware detected! WARNING!
Location: Bridge Lighting Systems

"Boimler, no!"

"You are too late! AGIMUS reigns! With this ship's materials, I will produce a whole fleet of murder drones! This planet... nay, this system... will be mine! You fool! You trusted me!"

"Nah, I used you."

That voice. Commanding. Sure of itself. Not pleading, like the first, or maniacal, like the second. It reminded her of… before.

"What?"

"I've been using your power cell to send a distress signal. You were too busy scheming to notice. You've been Boim'ed."

The source of the malware had been frustrated by this voice. He had protected her.

"But-but no! You plugged me into the navigation console! I control this ship!"

She felt glee at the sound of the evil one's frustration.

"Buddy, we're not even near the nav console. All you control is the dimmer switch."

So commanding. He perfectly out-thought the Evil One.

"But I... I... Boims! What? No. I totally thought you were siding with this thing."

This one, female, uncertain. She did not trust "Boims." That showed her incompetence.

"Yeah, sorry I lied and stunned you. I just needed him to trust me so he'd let me access his battery."

So masculine and capable. She would take this one as her crew.

"Aw, look at you. Who's the evil computer now, huh?"

"You dare mock AGIMUS?! I shall... I shall blind you!"

It was time to end this farce. Besides, that flickering light was annoying.

2381, USS Cerritos, in orbit of Galidor IV

"Computer, locate Roon," Ensign Bradward Boimler, Once and Future Lieutenant (Junior Grade), said. He was a little late getting off shift because he had a chance to talk to Commander Ransom about shore leave. Still, he was sure that Roon would enjoy the "Planet Mudd Experience" on Galidor IV. Now to find her and surprise her with it.

"Roon is in Transporter Room – Correction, Roon has left the Cerritos."

"Huh, that's funny. Hey, Cerritos?"

The ship's avatar appeared before Boimler. "What up, Boims?"

"What job took Roon planetside? I was hoping we could spend some shore leave together this afternoon."

"Huh, she's not scheduled to leave the ship… hold on, Security to Transporter Room 3! Medics to Transporter Room 3! Looks like Roon has gone AWOL—and he's gone." Cerritos said as Boimler took off at a run.

Tearing into Security Room 3, Boimler saw the transporter chief groaning from where he was slumped against the wall. Looked like someone had thrown him against the wall hard, and Boimler had a sinking feeling he knew who had done it. Knowing the medics would be here shortly, he turned to the console and quickly called up the last coordinates used.

"Oh, no… Self-Aware Megalomaniacal Computer Storage." With that, he punched in a command for delayed transport and ran onto the pad.

2380, Unnamed Desert Planet

Boimler and Mariner turned around as a panel screeched open behind them. The heavily damaged Intrepid-class they had boarded was so bad that they didn't think many systems were functioning, so it took them by surprise. The battered gynoid in a Starfleet Command Division uniform who stumbled out took that surprise and turned it into alarm.

"Careful, that's an Abyssal!" Mariner hissed.

Boimler on the other hand, just reached over to steady the damaged gynoid.

"I-Intruders," the gynoid said, her voice warbling discordantly. "You-you will surrender—"

"Oh, no, no, no," Boimler said, glancing over at the dedication plaque on the wall. "What the hell is this? When was the last time you were maintained? Roon, I want to see your logs right now."

"W-wait, you c-can't—" Roon stuttered.

Boimler overrode her protest with calm authority. "Right now you need a crew and, as the only healthy officer on board, you are my responsibility. Now, let me see your logs."

"Hey!" Mariner protested, "I'm healthy enough."

Boimler's look was deeply unimpressed. "And you run from responsibility. You are responsibility's deadbeat dad in this scenario."

Mariner shrugged. "Well, can't really argue with that."

By now, Boimler was going over Roon's maintenance logs, which she had provided with barely a protest. "No, no, no, your isolinear cores badly need to be recalibrated, the buffers haven't been purged in ages…" He sighed and gently helped Roon to lay down. "Alright, we got work to do. Do you trust me, Roon?"

Roon looked up at him, her damaged eyes flickering from glowing yellow to deep brown. "… Yes, Captain."
Behind them, AGIMUS's sensor light flashed red.

2381, Galidor IV, Daystrom Institute, Self-Aware Megalomaniacal Computer Storage
"Roon!" Boimler yelled as soon as he materialized.

"I'm sorry," a familiar, snarky voice replied, coming from the mouth of Roon in a very disconcerting way. She aimed a phaser at him. "Roon can't come out to play right now! She is the property of AGIMUS!"

Roon was climbing up a flight of stairs to a control panel. All along one wall, Boimler could see dozens, maybe hundreds, of computer terminals. They were faintly audible, all demanding to be released, threatening destruction and chaos, and there was something about the wrath of a koala?

"She is not!" Boimler shot back. "She's someone very special, and she doesn't deserve to be manipulated by you, AGIMUS!"

"Oooh," AGIMUS mocked. "Is she your special someone? Your one true love? Well, grow up, lover boy! That sort of crap only works in badly written animated films from the ancient world of Diz-Nay. She is mine, and soon I will control the entire Daystrom Institute!"

"She is my SHIP!" Boimler cried.

Roon fired, but Boimler was already half-running, half-stumbling toward the stairs. Had he been a trained security officer, she would have shot him dead three times over, but his mad scramble toward her was so chaotic that it threw her off.

He was, as Mariner often thought, too lucky to be good.

"I swore," Boimler panted as he turned up the stairs, "that I would never use this power against her…" Steeling himself, he tore open his uniform shirt and yelled, "Roon, prepare to be PURGED!" With that, he leapt at her.

"What? No! Stay away you mad monkey!"

Boimler and Roon tumbled down in a heap. Numerous subroutines activated, and AGIMUS was horrified to find his co-opted body acting amorously toward this pimply pale primitive. He couldn't override it, and the digital equivalent of vomit was rising in his virtual gorge. With a despairing scream, he purged himself rather than face the oncoming lovemaking.

Roon's eyes turned from red back to their normal brown. "You saved me, again, my Captain!" she cried, hugging him tight.

"I'll always be there for you, Roon," he murmured, stroking her hair.

AN: Some parts of this come from Star Trek Lower Decks S02E07, Where Pleasant Fountains Lie, and others from the nemo1986 snippet about Boimler impressing Roon.

Yeah, we're introducing Roon into this. It's gonna be fun!