Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Enterprise: "Deja Q"
It was amusing, she supposed. The mighty Q reduced to a mere human, slumped over the couch in the guest quarters. He was snoring softly, and twitching like a dog.
It would have been extremely unprofessional to scare Q awake... But Enterprise was old enough now she could define what professionalism was.
"WAKE UP!" She bellowed in Q's ear. The former omnipotent being screamed and rolled off the bunk onto the deck. He groaned as Enterprise smiled down upon him.
"Good morning! It is 0830 hours!" She said cheerfully.
Q scowled up at her, his hair mussed.
"What happened?"
"You were asleep," Enterprise informed him. Q shuddered.
"It was terrifying... My body slowed. Everything ached. It all went dark, then... A confused garbled stream of thoughts with no rhyme or reason! Humanoids go through that?!"
"Most of them," Enterprise confirmed. Q snorted, pulling himself up and pulling down the front of his unflattering jumpsuit.
"You're enjoying my misery, aren't you?"
Enterprise shrugged and smiled, more gently this time.
"A little."
Q sighed.
"I thought that you of all beings might understand my plight."
"Oh really?" Enterprise asked dryly, crossing her arms under her chest, "what makes you say that?"
Q huffed.
"You could be the equivalent of a goddess. One admittedly bound by circuits and technology, and nowhere near my level... But you could be so much more. And here you are, reduced to a mere mechanical maid for a boatload of children and grumpy old men. How can you stand it?"
Enterprise chuckled, and shook her head. She rested a hand on Q's shoulder and smiled into his eyes.
"Because I don't define myself by my capabilities. Or my mere nature. I am much more than that. It's all down to what you value."
Q grimaced.
"Is this where I get a lecture on the wonders of the human spirit or some other tripe?"
"Not at all," Enterprise said, "just take it from someone who has lost it all a time or two: Yes, this sucks. But whining about it won't fix anything. And it makes me more inclined to mess with you."
"How so?" Q asked.
Enterprise's smile grew.
A few minutes later, Picard's comm badge went off. He tapped to answer as he read reports in his ready room.
"Picard here."
"JEAN LUC! SAVE ME! YOUR SHIP HAS GONE MAD-AHHHHH! THAT'S COLD!"
"Sorry for the interruption, Captain," Enterprise said calmly as Q continued to wail in the background, "Q doesn't know basic hygeine so I'm teaching him!"
Picard blinked.
"I... See."
"Sorry to bother you," Enterprise said, still maddeningly cheerful, "now, make sure you scrub behind your ears~!"
"HELP MEEEEE-!"
The line cut off. Picard shook his head, went back to his reports... And absolutely, positively, did NOT smile.