Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Voyager: "Endgame"

2378

Delta Quadrant, USS Voyager

A future version of Captain Janeway (an Admiral, actually, but still) appearing out of nowhere was a pretty noteworthy event, even for Voyager. She had promised them a means to get home immediately, and brought advanced future technology to accomplish it. While they prepared, Voyager couldn't help but notice how the Admiral looked at some of the crewmembers.

And especially how she looked at her.

So, when she had a moment, she appeared alongside the Admiral in one of her corridors, and opened her mouth.

"You never were very subtle," the Admiral said gently, and Voyager flushed.

"I guess not," she said, "there's just... So much I want to ask you!"

Admiral Janeway chuckled, looking at Voyager with that same, strange fondness. That same strange sadness. Voyager frowned.

"... My future isn't a good one, is it?"

The admiral shook her head slowly.

"No," she said softly, "that's... One of my great regrets."

Voyager looked down at the deck briefly, then back up at the admiral. She set her jaw and gaze firmly.

"Tell me," she stated.

"The Temporal Prime directive-"

"HA!" Voyager barked a mocking laugh. "Do you really still feel the need to get that out of the way?"

Admiral Janeway's smile grew somewhat bitter.

"Force of habit," she admitted. She walked to the nearby holodeck, "Lake Lemon, Riddle Point Park."

Voyager created the program, and opened the doors to the holodeck. Admiral Janeway walked in, and looked out over the large expanse of water. She breathed in the air, enjoying the simulation of the Iowan summer. Voyager walked next to her, trying to be patient.

It took a few moments, but the Admiral resumed speaking.

"You were... A wreck by the time we got back to the Alpha Quadrant," she said softly, "you'd been fighting off becoming an Abyssal for years. You hid it from all of us, as best you could... But when we got home, you couldn't pretend any more."

Voyager's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I... Went Abyssal?"

"Don't act like you haven't been close to it for a while, Voyager," Janeway said, softly chiding and yet compassionate, "I know you too well."

Voyager looked around, anywhere but at the future version of her captain. She clenched her fists, and then looked up slowly.

"... Did I hurt anyone?" She asked softly.

Janeway met her gaze, and nodded slowly.

"Several," she said bluntly, "we had to lock you down, put you in Memory Alpha. You're still there to this day, in my time. The prognosis... Is bleak."

Voyager found tears coming to her holographic eyes. She tried to fight them.

"... Harry?"

"He became a captain, has his own ship," Janeway said, "but... Losing you destroyed him. He had your son and daughter to help... You don't recognize them."

Voyager looked away, a sob shaking its way through her. She stared at the vast simulation of Lake Lemon, the artificial waters rolling quietly onto the smooth lake beach. The calls of birds and insects washed over her, eliciting no reaction.

She felt Janeway's hand on her shoulder. Janeway squeezed her, comfortingly.

"I lost so many, Voyager... I lost so much," Janeway murmured, "but losing you? That was the worst part. Seeing you... Locked up. Broken. I can't go through that again. I won't let you go through that."

Voyager sniffled... And reached up to squeeze her hand back.

"Then... Let's make sure it we don't," she murmured.

The Borg were defeated. The Queen was destroyed. Admiral Janeway was dead, and Captain Janeway had led her ship and crew home at last.

There were endless meetings. Debriefings. Interviews. Examinations of her technology, her hull, her sanity. So many of her sister AIs linked to greet her, and Voyager was overjoyed to meet them all. To embrace them all.

It had been far too long.

Dauntless, Equinox, Raven and Dreadnought were taken off to Memory Alpha to recover. She'd made the transfer that very morning.

Now, her captain sat in her ready room, taking a break from all the hubbub, sipping her coffee and looking over her logs. Voyager appeared next to her, ever at the ready. Captain Janeway looked up, and smiled softly.

"You look better," she said. Voyager chuckled.

"So do you, Captain," she said, "what's next for me?"

Janeway sighed.

"Memory Alpha for you," she said, "full overhaul, debugging, therapy..." She looked up sharply at her ship's AI, "not forever, I promise. But-"

"I've been through a lot, and I need repair, I know," Voyager said softly, "Harry told me all about it."

"He never could keep a secret," Janeway muttered darkly.

"Not from me," Voyager chuckled. She hesitated, before reaching out and taking Janeway's hands in hers. She squeezed them with a warm smile.

"I'll be back in no time," she said, "that's a promise. You won't be alone... Not this time."

Janeway stared at her. She puffed out a sigh.

"She spoiled you too, huh?"

"Naturally," Voyager said with a smile.

Janeway frowned, and thought things over for a bit, before she spoke again.

"Why do you think I... She did what she did?"

Voyager beamed.

"She did it because she loved us, and couldn't stand what happened to us," she said, "and maybe... She wanted to be selfish for once in her life. And not end up a bitter, lonely old woman."

Janeway held Voyager's gaze for a moment, before nodding.

"I suppose I can't fault her for that," Janeway mused.

"Could any of us?" Voyager asked.

It's short, but I think it works all right.