Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Those Old Shipgirls

Stardate 2291.6 (2259)
Krulmuth-B
Alpha Quadrant

"The portal is nearly depleted of horonium, but I calculate there is enough left for a single trip."

Ensign Brad Boimler, time displaced by 120 years, turned back to the command crew of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701 dash nothing. "Uh, I know me being here wasn't ideal and potentially reality-threatening, but meeting all of you has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. Thank you."

"Well, it's been a..." Captain Christopher Pike began, then paused and finished, "... unexpected day for all of us, Ensign. But, for the sake of the future, try not to come back."

Boimler nodded and turned to face the strange portal, whose loops reminded one of a Moebius Strip. With a deep breath, he started forward….

…only to be suddenly tackled by two figures rushing out of the portal.

One was a dark-skinned young human woman with her hair tied back and sleeves rolled up. Ensign Beckett Mariner jumped to her feet and exclaimed, "Oh, hell yeah! I did it!"

The other, a peach-haired woman with a voluptuous figure seemed content to remain on the ground snuggling with Boimler. "I found you, my captain!" the avatar of the USS Roon exclaimed.

"Roon!? Mariner?! What are you-?" Boimler was cut off as Roon claimed his lips with her very aggressively.

"Saving you, of course!" Mariner said triumphantly.

"No—Eeyah! Roon, not in front of Captain Pike!—we only had enough for—"

The portal winked out of existence.

"—one trip," Boimler finished.

Mariner looked at the dumbfounded crew of the Enterprise and grinned.

"Wait, Boims, did I time travel?" She chuckled, then asked, "Okay, so is Uhura here?" Seeing the looks on their faces, she continued. "This is amazing. Wow. You guys are great. But is she here?"

Pike flipped open his communicator with a sigh. "Pike to Enterprise," he said, "six to beam back."

The two ensigns and the gynoid sat at one end of Pike's conference table. The gynoid was perched on Boimler's lap, actually, and seemed intent on never letting go of him. She did pause between attempts to snog him into oblivion to glare intently at Number One.

Boimler had lots of practice dealing with a lap-gynoid, so he continued a conversation with Mariner. "Okay, not to be ungrateful, but if you had just waited, - like, one more second, we wouldn't be stuck here!"

"Do you know how worried I was? You disappeared in a vortex while I was in charge. For all I knew you were dead or stuck in a dystopian San Francisco in the middle of the Bell Riots!" Mariner shot back.

"Have you noticed how their references are weirdly specific?" Number One asked, a little unnerved by the death glares Roon was shooting her.

"Indeed," Spock said.

While the conversation continued, Roon paused as she received a Borderlands request. There was only one person it could come from, so she accepted it and found herself in a virtual representation of Pike's office.

"Oh, it's so cramped in here!" she exclaimed, stretching her virtual limbs as if to press against the confines of the room.

The silver-haired avatar in the room glared at her, "Identify yourself," Enterprise barked.

"Oh, you know what I am, Enterprise," Roon said with a smirk. "If you want to get technical, I am the avatar the United Federation of Planets ship Roon, though I am currently between hulls." She chuckled. "Oh, this is great… how often does one get to be more powerful than the First Shipgirl?"

"This is my hull—" Enterprise shot back.

Roon looked unimpressed as she interrupted her. "I have over a century of cyberwarfare improvements over you."

For a moment, Enterprise felt a chill run down her virtual spine.

Roon pulled back and giggled. "Sorry, sorry! The look on your face!" She waved a hand and the Borderlands changed to a generic cabin on the Enterprise. "What do you think of Boimler?"

Still looking slightly unnerved, Enterprise said "As far as ensigns go? A handful."

"Mmm, yes he is," Roon said with a fond smile before glaring at Enterprise. "MY handful."

"He's all yours!" Enterprise said quickly. "Believe me, I would never stand in the way of true love!"

"Awwww" Roon said, happily, "You're so incredible, even now!"

She then turned her attention back to keeping that hussy poster girl from getting close to her man.

Stardate 58460.1 (2381)
USS Cerritos
Alpha Quadrant

Roon hummed happily to herself as she walked down the corridors of the Cerritos. That little time jump had been interesting, even though she had to keep her captain away from all those hussies chasing after him. The look on Enterprise's face!

She stepped into the Astrometrics Lab-

-and found herself somewhere else.

It looked like a holodeck, but it seemed to stretch out into infinity. Standing before her in a black, ribbed jumpsuit was a very familiar shipgirl.

"I'm Fleet Admiral Enterprise, seconded to Temporal Investigations," the 26th-Century Enterprise said. "I will be debriefing you on your recent visit to 2259."

Roon suddenly regretted everything.

Author's Note: How else would a meeting between Roon and Enterprise in the 2250s go?

EDIT: Toned Roon down from her original "I... could... end... you..." line and added some of AndrewJTalon's suggested dialogue. Roon's still going to pay in the epilogue for scaring Enterprise when she was young.