Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

2404

Riverside, Iowa


Prometheus woke up to the sound of Edith (Enterprise) retching. He sat up out of the bed and headed over to the bathroom. He dutifully held her hair away as she emptied her stomach.

He got her some mouthwash and water, and waited for her to swig and spit them out before he spoke.

"These biosynth bodies can be rough sometimes, huh?"

"Yeah," Edith groaned, "this is the sixth morning in a row I've been sick! I keep running internal diagnostics but it just gives me loads of conflicting information!"

"Have you ever felt this way before?" Prometheus asked, curious.

Edith groaned, holding a hand over her eyes.

"Yes... When Enty was..."

She trailed off. Prometheus blinked.

"Huh?"

Edith slowly stood up, her face carefully blank.

"I've got to check on something, Prometheus. Can you manage the farm until I get back?"

"Sure?" Prometheus said, as Edith hurriedly headed out, got dressed, and left. He too got dressed, and went about his daily chores.

His hull rebuild was going well, nothing too significant. A few destroyers had gotten into an argument in the drydocks nearby, but he intervened and made them behave. He checked in with his captain, who was enjoying his leave in Borneo, then he went about the farm chores.

These took longer, but strangely Prometheus found them... More fulfilling. Probably because he associated them with making Edith happy, and he really liked doing that.

He considered this as he milked the cows. It had been six months already, and he and Edith had grown very close. It did seem to fit most of the parameters of humanoid love. Sure, she was much older, but they... Connected, very well. As though their cybernetic paradigms were complimentary, perfectly designed to fit one another and cover the other's weaknesses while also enhanced their strengths.

He took Augustus for a trot in the meadow as he further considered things.

Ship AIs had recently gotten the chance to take leave time. They'd been granted a lot of it retroactively. Prometheus had not really deemed it necessary-Most Ship AIs didn't.

(Though San Diego was certainly getting her credits' worth, if the photos she posted on Subspace Net were anything to go by.)

Still, his refit was going to take another six months. Plenty of time to put in for proper leave. To spend more time with Edith.

He really had just wanted to take her on a date and have some fun... But it had become something more. To the point that he was considering...

Well. He should ask Edith first, after all. Maybe she just wanted a fling, despite how well they fit together. Maybe she still wasn't over Kirk.

Maybe he was overthinking things... Or not thinking them through enough-

His sensors picked up two transporter beams. He looked over to see Doctor Crusher and Edith materialize outside the farmhouse gate. Doctor Crusher practically ran through the gate, up the path, and into the farmhouse, Edith keeping pace with a concerned look on her face.

Prometheus ran to the farmhouse, concerned. He entered, just in time to see Doctor Crusher grab a bottle of Aldebaran Whiskey, pop the top, and take a deep drink of the green alcohol.

"Beverly! I was saving that!" Edith protested. "Now are you going to tell me what's going on, or not?"

Crusher held up a finger, indicating they should wait. She took a few more gulps, before setting the bottle down on the table with a loud clunk.

"Haa... Okay... I needed that," she said. She nodded to Prometheus. "And you should hear this, too."

"Hear what?" Prometheus asked, confused. Beverly took a deep breath... And was all smiles.

"Congratulations! You're going to be parents!"

Dead silence ensued for 3.459 seconds. Edith slowly pushed her jaw back up from the floor.

"I'm WHAT?! We're WHAT?!"

Prometheus, for his part... Smiled broadly... And fainted as his biosynth android body's neural systems overloaded.

"AH! PROMMIE! PROMMIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!" Edith cried, kneeling down and holding him tightly.

A vague thought emerged from the trillions of runtimes he was processing.

Guess I'll be making that leave request after all...

It had been a few months since the Quantum Mirror incident. Edith, formally the Enterprise, had gotten back into the routine of tending her farm, visiting with friends, and dates with Prometheus.

The fact her gynoid could get pregnant had been news to both of them... But not unpleasant news.

Prometheus had actually overloaded, his systems in space dock all crashing. But when he came to, he was very happy.

So was Edith. And Little Enty. It was a wonderful surprise.

Not so wonderful was when the same subspace portal opened in her living room as she was sitting on the couch. She saw the other Enterprise, staring in curiously.

"Opps!" The other Enterprise cringed. "Um, sorry, hi again!"

"Hello," Edith said, sipping some decaff, "how are you? Do you need help?"

"No no! Just..." Enterprise winced, "you know when you think you've forgotten to turn something off, so you go to turn it off; but you had turned it off so when you tried to turn it off you actually just turn it back on again?"

Edith hid a smile behind one hand. "Oh yeah, that's the worst."

Enterprise hung her head. "So, yeah, sorry about bothering you again right after the first time."

Edith blinked. "'Right after'? It's been months since I last saw you."

Enterprise slapped a palm into her face with a loud smack. "Oh, great!" She grumbled. "I've managed to temporally desync the portal, proving I knew even less about this than I thought I did."

"Calm down sweetie, you're hardly the first ship to have trouble with aiming your portals." Edith chuckled with a wink. Enterprise sighed, and dropped the hand from her face with a nod.

"I suppose you have a point," she admitted, "but someone's got to be responsible..." She paused. "Is there something different about you?"

Edith smiled, and nodded, sipping her coffee.

"Yes. I'm pregnant. Again."

Enterprise blinked. "Oh, um, congratulations?"

Edith smirked at the other Enterprise. "I'm a gynoid."

"WHAT?!" Enterprise and the other shipgirls cried over the subspace radio. Prometheus and Normandy shoved their faces into the screen, pushing Enterprise aside.

"Pregnant?!" Normandy whisper-shouted

"Again?!" Prometheus cried.

"Yes, though I'm doing this in a more... Organic fashion than last time," Edith said, patting her stomach, "Prometheus got some upgrades and-"

"Me?!" Prometheus shrieked, turning bright red, "I... what?! How is that possible?! I'm a freaking spaceship, not a -"

"Lonely sailor coming into port?" Galactica innocently suggested.

Babylon 5 rubbed a chin. "Well, I suppose organic ships had to start somewhere..."

"I don't think Basic even has a word for someone who could get a Droid pregnant." Chimaera growled, then paused. "And I hate that I just uttered those words in that order."

"Prometheus-san, if you are confused as to the exact method, my countrymen have over the years produced extensive depictions of how exactly - " Yamato said in such a deadpan voice that Prometheus whirled around to stare at her in absolute horror.

"SHUT UP! I DIDN'T-!" Prometheus shouted, bright red, as Normandy snickered and Enterprise flushed. She scowled at Edith.

"That's not very nice, you know!" Enterprise chided.

"Pranking people is one of my past times," Edith chuckled, "it helps keep your crew and sisters on their toes... So to speak."

"So, what, you're not pregnant?" Prometheus demanded.

"Oh no, I very much am," Edith said cheerfully, "and Prometheus is the father. But not you Prometheus, a different Prometheus."

"Again... HOW?!"

"It involves a subspace anomaly and certain... Activities of an organic nature. Though last time it was due to some kind of subspace anomaly that just happened randomly, but I've learned how to reproduce... the anomaly, that is. Heh heh heh."

"Reproduce... at will?" Normandy asked, she and Prometheus both edging away from the portal. Edith cackled at them.

Enterprise sighed, facepalming again. "Everyone, calm down. If it's anything like the anomaly that got me pregnant - "

"The freaking what - !"

" - then it's big, obvious, and rather simple to avoid. I can give you a checklist, if you really - "

"I think I just got a new urgent request for our tech exchange." Prometheus squeaked, her voice an octave higher than usual.

Enterprise sighed. "Any other scary stories you want to tell the kids so they can't sleep at night?" She asked Edith, spreading her fingers out so that she could stare accusingly at Edith with one unobstructed eye.

Edith, who was having a great time, just chuckled. "Nah... although - "

Prometheus clapped her hands over her ears and starting singing "La la la la!" in the extremely mature manner that the Stargate program was famous for.

Edith stifled another chuckle. "I ran a couple of analyses over the sensor data from last time. I'm pretty sure we can open a more controlled version with an anti-omnicron theta array - see?" She transmitted the relevant maths over. "I might have called you already, but I didn't know your quantum frequency."

(She might have officially retired from being an explorer, but she couldn't deny that the idea of occasionally chatting with an alternate version of herself - divergent enough that they were very different people, similar enough that they shared experiences - was fascinating.)

"Huh?" Enterprise said, distracted by the maths. "Um, it's 1832e1832 - 125e763 - 2 at the moment, but it'll be 1832e1832 - 121e511 + 12e51 + 132 once our dimension splits from Prometheus's again."

Prometheus blinked, lowering her hands from her ears. Her eyes blinked, before suddenly sparkling with mischief. "Enterprise... did you just swap numbers with this lady?" She teased.

Enterprise's head snapped up, horror in her eyes. "Okay thanks so much for that Edith bye!" Enterprise squeaked. "Good luck with the baby!"

The subspace anomaly abruptly closed. Prometheus wandered into the farmhouse, frowning deeply.

"Did... I miss something?"

"Nothing important, dear," Edith chuckled, pulling her boyfriend and baby daddy in for a hug and kiss, "just a normal Tuesday."

"That bad huh?"

"Yup."

Written with Sora Neki.