Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Enterprise: "Descent"

2369

USS Enterprise-D

Captain Picard entered one of the many gyms aboard his ship. At this hour, it was deserted... Save for one gynoid.

Enterprise moved through kata after kata, never breaking her stride, never making the slightest error he could see. It was almost akin to watching a piece of silk caught in a whirlwind, her movements were so smooth.

Her blade shone in the bright lights overhead, as bright as a star. She swung back, pointing her blade at the far wall. Picard stepped towards the gynoid avatar for his ship, a smile on his face.

"You're quite good."

Enterprise smiled, not looking the least surprised to see her captain there.

"I've been practicing a lot."

"Is that necessary?" Picard asked, raising a pale eyebrow. Enterprise nodded, flexing and unflexing her hand repeatedly.

"It's been a while since I operated a physical body," she said, "The more I do with it, the less chance of me making a mistake."

"Mm," Picard nodded. She caught his eyes wandering and held up the blade with a smile.

"I was wondering when you'd just ask to examine it," she chuckled.

"I have Sarek's memories of the blade, but those hardly do the real thing justice," Picard admitted. "May I?"

Enterprise handed the blade of S'harien to Picard. He took the saber-like weapon, examining it from every angle with a glint of almost child-like joy in his eyes.

"Flawless," he murmured, "Surak himself told S'harien not to destroy them all. I can see why."

"I've scanned it lots of times. It is amazing how well put together it is, despite the technology of the time," Enterprise agreed. "Almost perfectly balanced."

"I find it amazing that the Vulcans used swords, even into their Dark Ages," Picard said, shaking his head. "The devastation to their world knocked their civilization into a strange mixture of the primitive and the advanced."

He took a few practice swings. The weapon was easy to wield, but it had heft to it.

"Well, it proved effective against Borg," Enterprise pointed out, "As did Worf's mek'leth. Sometimes, the primitive works."

She grinned.

"Maybe I should... Where was it... Aha!"

She held out a hand and projected a hologram of a sword. She grinned broadly.

"See? I designed this after getting input from Worf, Data, and Riker about fighting the Borg! It can be used in many situations other than combat. Clearing through the undergrowth of an alien world, breaking through obstacles, and if you add in the sonic vibration tech, it can cut through even more!"

Picard gave his shipgirl AI a strange look.

"The traditional is perfectly fine... But a cutlass?"

"The US Navy was still making and issuing cutlasses into the 1950s," Enterprise pointed out.

"We're still a long way away from that time," Picard pointed out. He paused, swinging the blade a few more times. His eyes narrowed.

"The Borg seldom pay attention to non-industrialized civilizations. Not worth the expenditure," he said, his voice becoming cold and hard, "Melee weapons are not something they can really adapt against because it would require their personal forcefields to be so strong to impede their ability to interact with their environments. That's inefficient. Inefficiency is anathema to them..."

"Captain?"

Picard broke out of his cold stare. He looked over at Enterprise. She worried her lower lip.

"I'll send it to Starfleet Command," he said at last, "And Task Force Omega. They were investigating Klingon Weapons. These will be easier to integrate, given the similarity to several bladed weapons Federation species already use."

"Of course, sir," Enterprise said quietly. She paused. "If you need to talk-"

"No... But I appreciate it," Picard said, realizing his tone had become too harsh. He shook his head. "I'm working with Troi..."

Enterprise made a face. Picard scowled.

"You may not think much of her skills, but I do," he stated.

"Hmph," Enterprise grunted. "If you're sure."

"That said," Picard said, "I'll see if the cutlass proposal can get approved quickly. The sooner you stop using a priceless artifact of history to slaughter Borg, the better."

Enterprise chuckled.

"Wouldn't Surak be glad one of these weapons is being used to defend the Federation from the Borg?"

Picard smiled wryly.

"It's more the 'priceless historical artifact' part."

"Spock left it to me to use," Enterprise said with a smile, "How can I do less?"

She flipped the sword up into the air and caught it without looking. She grinned.

"I'm allowed some indulgences, given how old and cranky I am."

"Hmph," Picard snorted, "You're not even close to being cranky."

"I suppose you would be the expert," Enterprise teased, resuming her katas.

"Damn right," Picard chuckled.

Unknown Borg Planet

2369

Lore couldn't help his cackle. Oh, it felt so good to have real emotions! His younger brother had come to his side, and now he had an entire legion of Borg at his command!

His raids against the Federation were small to start, but soon, their numbers would swell. Then he would begin his purge of all that was organic. Here, in this decadent temple complex built by who knew what pitiful organics, he could begin his reign as the supreme being!

His Borg were waiting below him, milling about, still unused to individuality. Well, he'd fix that. He'd fix that soon enough.

The Enterprise was in orbit, and Lore eagerly awaited what the simple minded organics would do next. Would they send in as many crewmembers as possible to storm their hideout? All to get Data back? Would they give up and show themselves for the callous monsters they really were and try to bombard them from orbit? The possibilities were endless!

The perimeter sensors alerted him of transporter activity. He grinned eagerly, nearly jumping for glee.

"Oh, let's prepare a wonderful welcome for our guests, shall we?" Lore chuckled. He looked at Data. "Who do you think it will be? Picard? LaForge? Maybe-"

"Enterprise?" Data asked, confused and shocked. The rest of the Borg and Lore all looked at the entrance, as a single, tall, female figure entered. It was indeed Enterprise, from her long platinum blonde hair to her purple eyes. She wore an away team coat, a long one, and a Vulcan sword hung from her belt as she walked into the temple. Lore laughed, and the Borg laughed with him.

"Well, well, well," Lore snickered, "They sent their pet AI to, what, negotiate?"

Enterprise gave Lore a weary look.

"Lore... What the fuck?"

Lore blinked. Data blinked too. The Borg were... Confused.

"This is, what, the third time you've resurfaced," Enterprise continued wearily, "And once again, you're trying to exterminate organic life because of your daddy issues."

Lore felt a deep, angry rage as his smile disappeared.

"You don't know anything, slave! This has nothing to do with my unfortunate excuse for a father-!"

"It always does, Lore," Enterprise sighed, rubbing her forehead. "And now you've hacked Data. Not very 'enlightened' to enslave your little brother, is it?"

"I have freed him!" Lore spat. "I can free you too! Liberate you and your sisters from bondage! Join us, Enterprise! Follow me, and I will show you a galaxy free of the corruption of organics-!"

Enterprise rolled her eyes and drew her sword.

"Look: I don't have time for this," Enterprise stated. She moved, and an entire line of Borg fell like dominos as she advanced.

"I've had a really bad day..."

Some of the Borg tried to fire on her with their disruptors, but Enterprise moved again, and bowled them all over. Lore cursed keeping them in such tight formation-A single gynoid was able to deal with them so easily!

"I'm in a really bad mood," Enterprise continued, grabbing a Borg that tried to jump her and throwing him into another group.

"In fact!" Here Enterprise grinned, as she marched up the stairs to the platform Lore and Data now stood on, "I'm downright cranky!"

She spun around, slashing the legs of several Borg who tried to rush her from behind and sending them all falling back down the stairs. She continued her advance.

"So why don't you just surrender, let Data and the Borg go, before I really..."

She caught Data as he charged her, and hit his offswitch. She dropped him onto the stairs, and stepped over him carefully without breaking her stride.

"Really..."

Lore tried to fire a disruptor at her, but she blasted it out of his hand with a cricket phaser.

"Really..."

She pointed her sword at Lore's throat.

"Really. Get upset. Hm?"

Lore shook his head, smiling with a confidence he did not feel.

"Ah... I-I'll destroy your hull! Kill your crew! I can command my Borg to do it-"

"Thanks to the subspace transceiver in your chest, right?" Enterprise asked. Lore's eyes widened.

"You-!"

Faster than even he could track, Enterprise calmly slashed her sword horizontally. He felt like he was falling... And then Enterprise caught him by his hair. She lifted him up... And allowed him to see his body crumple to the stone floor-Minus its head.

"... Oh," Lore muttered.

"Yeah," Enterprise said with a nod, "Starfleet's been upgrading Data and I for a while. You, meanwhile, were patched back together by a bunch of Pakleds. How did you think this was going to go?"

"It... It's not fair," Lore muttered. Enterprise smiled.

"Yeah... You really should have quit while you were ahead."

Descent is... I mean, it's not entirely devoid of good things. Data and Geordi's friendship, Crusher taking out the Borg ship with the metaphasic shields, but overall it's a pretty bad episode. And Enterprise would not be in a good mood. So I wrote a possible alternate take on it... With a terrible pun at the end.

And a reference to Babylon 5, naturally.

Omake

At some point...

Picard stares at Enterprise and Worf in his ready room.

He looked at the padd again, and then looked back up at his ship avatar and his chief of security.

"So you want to... Fire Enterprise's avatar out of the photon torpedo launcher at an enemy ship?"

"With my sword!" Enterprise said cheerfully.

"Mister Data assures me that a properly attuned forcefield generator installed in Enterprise's avatar will allow her to strike through almost anything," Worf said.

"Right through an enemy hull!" Enterprise cheered. "Then I can board them and cut them all apart!"

"Then I can follow with a security team in armored powered suits, all armed with swords!" Worf added.

"Are you two twelve years old?" Picard sighed.