Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

2383

Ferenginar

Roon entered the hotel room where Boimler was staying.

"Darling~! I got through the customs!"

She reattached her arm and flexed it.

"Why did they have to be so thorough? I only threatened to bomb their homes, not their world," Roon muttered. She blinked as she saw that Boimler was utterly glued to the screen.

"Huh? O-Oh... Hey Roon," Boimler managed, before locking his eyes back on the screen, "I'm binging through 'Landlord Cops'. It's an incredible show! I just... I gotta know what happens next...!"

Roon stared for a few moment, before she sighed. She walked over and turned off the screen.

"HEY!" Boimler cried, getting up to his feet, "I was watching that-!"

"And according to the subdermal implant I put into you," Roon said smoothly, "You've been doing it for sixteen hours. That's far too much!"

"When did you put a subdermal implant on me?" Boimler asked.

"That's not important."

"It kind of is! Do you not trust me?" Boimler demanded.

"Of course I trust you, darling!" Roon said, placing a hand on her chest and smiling. Her face darkened.

"It's the rest of the universe that I don't trust with you. I'm your ship, sweetie. I'm supposed to look after you, like you look after me."

"I..." Boimler sighed. "I appreciate that... But come on. You could have told me."

"I'm so sorry, Brad," Roon sighed, bowing her head, "Why don't I make it up to you? Isn't there something fun you'd like to do on Ferenginar?"

"Well... I mean, I kinda want to watch more 'Landlord Cops'-"

"More than taking me to an exotic location and taking me like a savage animal?" Roon asked with a blush and sigh. "Claiming me as your woman and making all other males around feel inferior, and all females jealous? Ravishing me in a hot bath and making me lose all my sapience until I'm nothing more than a vessel to carry your offspring~?"

Boimler blinked. He blinked again.

"Ah... Well... When you put it like that..."

Roon hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Aw... It's okay to just relax every now and then," she murmured, "But there are people who love you and want to be with you... One person in particular. Who loves you. So much so that she'll burn entire planets for you-"

"Roon!"

"And won't, if you ask me too," Roon said with a blush. Boimler sighed, and stroked her cheek.

Ultimately, she was right. He'd found people who loved and cared for him on the Cerritos, her especially. While he did love 'Landlord Cops', well... He loved his friends more.

And his hot ship girlfriend the most.

"That sounds good," he said.

Roon squealed and hugged him tightly.

"Oh goody! I also got some latinum from Toronto! Maybe we could try that dabo game, huh? Shipgirls aren't allowed to play it!"

"I did want to play more after doing it on DS9," Boimler said with a grin, "Sure! Let's check out a casino first!"

He shrugged as they headed out.

"I'll probably lose all my money, but what the hey-That's part of the fun!"

"Absolutely, Brad!" Roon gushed. "Let's forget all our worries!"

"Yeah," Boimler agreed, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Boimler groaned softly. He had a headache, throbbing in his head like when Cerritos' warp coils were out of alignment.

He was waist deep in some warm liquid... A warm naked body was wrapped around him... He opened his eyes.

He was in a different hotel room. The stars of Landlord Cops were on the couch, passed out drunk. There were piles of latinum slips and bars everywhere, including in the jacuzzi he was in. A targ was sleeping nearby, kicking its legs as it dreamed of chasing Klingon rabbits or something.

Roon was peacefully sleeping against him, wearing nothing but a wedding veil... And a wedding ring.

He checked his right hand-Yup. His matched perfectly.

He was also naked.

His commbadge beeped. He slowly reached over a pile of latinum to pick it up, and tapped it.

"Boimler here..."

"Boimler! Where have you been?" Commander Ransom demanded, "We've been trying to reach you for hours!"

"Sorry sir," Boimler managed, "Uh... It's... A bit confused..."

"Don't worry about that," he said, "But you might want to check the local news."

Boimler found a remote, and turned on a screen.

"News," he ordered.

The Ferengi reporter sat as a holo of two individuals-Two familiar, naked individuals, rode atop a hover limo.

"After winning exorbitant funds at the Golden Lobes Casino, this unknown human and his human wife joined the 'Nudist Liberation Front' demonstration, a protest by females over having to wear clothing in public."

There was a close up of Boimler, wearing a black mask and helmet, wobbling drunkenly (and nakedly) with an equally drunk and naked Roon-Who had donned a mask of her own.

"My... My wife wants t' be naked! She's AMAZING NAKED! SO SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED T' BE NAKED! SO THERE! FREEDOM IS THE RIGHT OF ALL... SAPIENT... WHATEVERS!"

"YEAHHHH!"

Roon yelled. "I SHOULD ONLY WEAR WHAT MY HUBBY WANTS ME TO! HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO WALK ME ON A LEASH IF HE WANTS! CAUSE I LOVE HIM! STAY AWAY FROM HIM, BITCHES!"

Boimler blinked a few times.

"Uhhh... Sir-"

"It's fine," Ransom said, holding back a snicker, "Grand Nagus Rom actually found it... Amusing. We're hopefully getting the deal done. In the meantime, you and your girlfriend lay low for a while, huh?"

"Y-Yeah, sure," Boimler managed, as Roon sighed happily in her sleep.

Crap. Please, don't let Mariner find out...

Mariner blinked. She blinked again, and tilted her head.

"What the...? BOIMLER?!"