Elementary School Musical Krusty wins the Nobel Peace Prize and Lisa goes to performance art and musical camp. Guest starring Jermaine Clement.
Plot
The title gag is Otto driving a magical acid trip version of the school bus with colourful exhaust fumes.
The billboard gag is Professor Frank and it reads "Frink's sex/kill bots. Be sure to set up correctly." Otherwise you get the deadly Fembots from Austin Powers!
The chalkboard gag is "When I slept in class, it was not to help Leonardo Decaprio."
Oscar's chalkboard gag is "Inception Inception Inception..." written over and over. Bart grimaces at Oscar and when the bell rings they leave and skate home on their skateboards.
The couch gag is the celebration of the beginning of the twenty second season. A Fox executive gives Maggie a cake with a candle to blow out. She blows out the candle. Then the Fox executive takes the cake and eats it.
Jerk...
...
The episode begins one late night. Lisa and her nerd friends, Martin, Database, Milhouse and Cosine, along with Maggie somehow are watching the Nobel prizes late at night. Maggie is wearing a blue pyjama shirt and a diaper.
Homer is startled to find the kids awake watching TV at this hour.
"What the! Kids it's four am! You should have all gone to sleep half an hour ago!" said Homer shocked to see them up so late.
"We're watching the Nobel peace prize announcements live from Stockholm." said Lisa.
"Ah the Nobels. Well that answers one thing but," Homer is sniffing and smelling something. "Who is cooking at four am!?"
Oscar arrives in his pyjamas wearing an apron and a chefs hat carrying a saucepan of chocolate pudding and stirring it. "I'm making chocolate pudding!"
"Why the hell are you cooking chocolate pudding at four am?!" Homer yelled.
"Because I have lost control of my life." said Oscar depressed. A studio audience laughs.
"Ugh! Enough of the Nickelodeon running gags Oz..." Lisa groaned.
Martin sighed.
"Budge up kids." said Homer as the kids moved aside to let him sit down.
"And for economics... Jagdish Bhagwatti!"
An audience cheered as Jagdish collected their award.
"Huzzah!" Martin cheered.
"I had him in the pool!" said Uter. Um okay...
"Lucky..." said Homer.
"Shhhh!" Lisa hushed everyone.
"And now for the noblest of Nobel Prizes... the Nobel Peace prize!" said the announcer. Lisa and everyone else on the couch gasped. "Joining the likes of Gandhi and Mother Teresa."
"I could kill for that..." said Homer.
"And the Nobel Peace prize goes to..."
"Oh isn't this exciting!" said Homer.
"Krusty the clown!" said the announcer.
"Whaaaaaaat?!" Lisa gasped.
Maggie shat her diaper. Eeeeeew!
...
For some reason, probably because a town local getting a Nobel Prize is big news... Everyone gathered at a town hall for a press release and Kent was interviewing Krusty.
"And now joining the ranks of Martin Luthier King, Gandhi and Desmond Tutu." said Kent.
"Hehehehe! Tutu!" Oscar giggled.
"Quiet boy..." said Homer.
Bart sighed at Oscar.
"Krusty the clown!" said Kent. Everyone cheered as Krusty arrived. "Who keeps taking my parking space.
"Hey hey! Krusty's got the Nobel Peace prize! Hooahahaha!" Krusty laughed. "How do you like me now, Teen Choice Awards?!"
Kent coughed.
"That's in really bad taste, especially after Wilford Brimley was invited on stage and shot everyone..." said Oscar.
Bart winced. "Oz that did not really happen..."
"Kent Brockman, Channel six and..." said Krusty.
"Krusty, will you be flying all the way to Oslo to pick up your award?" Kent asked.
"Yes Kent. I will be flying all the way to the Artic Circle. Or as I like to call it, my wife's side of the bed! Hooahahaha!" said Krusty.
Princess Penelope glared at him and put her hands on her hips mad at him.
"Oh dear... someone's sleeping on the couch tonight..." said Bart.
"We're going through a rough patch kid..." said Krusty.
Penelope glared.
"What? We are!" said Krusty.
Homer laughed at Krusty's joke.
"Oh that's so cold! Wife's side of the bed! A hahahaha!" Homer is laughing. Marge glared at him for finding Krusty's scathing jokes at his wife funny.
"Hrrrrrrmmmmm..."
"Hey! Big Chief laugh at crap! Meat me in my limo in five minutes!" said Krusty to Homer.
Homer was still laughing. "Ahehehe! Oh! Okay." He said wiping away tears of laughter.
He was invited to speak with Krusty in his Limo.
...
Krusty's car was creaking and wobbling and we all know what that means... Oh my god! No!
"Narrator no! It's not what you think..." Bart groaned.
In the car Homer and Krusty were bouncing about on the back seats laughing.
"Arctic Circle! I just got that! Hehehehe!" Homer laughed.
"Okay settle down and listen up." said Krusty. "You are my easiest laugh. Well the easiest I know."
"How easy...?" Homer lead into a pun.
"Shut up..." Krusty as annoyed. "I'm gonna need you in the audience when I receive my Nobel Peace in Oslo!"
Homer gasped. "Can my son come too?"
Bart was jumping up and down eagerly as he spied on them at the passenger window. He nodded eagerly.
"He knows what to do if I swallow my tongue." said Homer.
"Sure... why not?" said Krusty.
Meanwhile Oscar and Hugo had some inane conversation.
"Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?" Hugo asked.
"THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS HEEEEEEEEREEEEE! on my cereal box..." Oscar sang loudly.
Hugo sighed exasperated and face palmed.
"Who's Michael Crawford..." Milhouse asked.
Hugo face palmed even more frustrated.
...
Krusty, Bart and Homer were walking down a red carpet towards a luxury plane to Oslo while military officers. Possibly Air Force. Were singing the Itchy and Scratchy show theme.
"They bite! They fight! They bite, they fight, they bite! Bite bite bite! Fight fight fight! The Itchy and Scratchy show!" The military men in uniforms sung.
"They fight and bite?! Wow... I never go to Europe without learning something..." said Homer.
"When I'm famous and I get the red carpet treatment on airplanes... I want a military choir to sing "Another One Bites The Dust."" said Bart.
Homer scoffed.
Now you listen here you two! Hold these!" said Krusty giving Bart and Homer a container of pills each.
"Your drugs put me to sleep." said Krusty to Bart. Bart held his sleeping drugs.
"Your drugs keep me awake." said Krusty to Homer. The ones Homer held kept Krusty awake. "If I ask for either of them you say no. If I ask again, you give them to me!" He had a system where he didn't want everyone knowing he had a drug problem but had away of asking that meant give him the pills.
"Do you understand?" Krusty asked.
"Yes Krusty!" said Bart and Homer.
"Good. Let's go." said Krusty. They went on the plane.
In the air port viewing area for over looking the planes.
"Why aren't I going to Oslo?!" Lisa whined. "Nobel prizes are my freaking thing!"
Oscar saw an empty luggage cart and took it for a spin.
"But noooooo... Bart gets everything because he's the oldest, and a boy..." Lisa said being bratty and sarcastic. "And Maggie gets what's left over because she's the youngest and a baby!" Second youngest after Eric...
Oscar bibbed the horn on his luggage cart while driving Hugo and baby Eric about.
"Hugo and Eric are not canon!" Lisa yelled. "Ahem. And meanwhile, I just get to stand and wave at people going to better places..." Lisa finished her rant.
"Well lady, would you like some left over confiscated drinking water?" Raphael as an airport worker asked.
"Eeeeeew! No!" said Lisa.
"Oh. Quite the little princess, ain't she?" said Raphael.
...
Marge and Lisa drove home with Lisa very unhappy and moody. Marge was looking at something in the rare view mirror as Oscar followed in a luggage buggy with Hugo and Eric as passengers.
"Oscar! That vehicle is not road legal! Park it up somewhere and get in the car!" said Marge out the window.
"Mom, they're not even supposed to be in this scene...they're not canon..." Lisa sighed.
Marge pulled up and Oscar, carrying Eric got in and Hugo got in and took Eric and strapped him into the spare baby car seat opposite Maggie in the back row.
Lisa sighed. "I'm just gonna listen to hotdog condiments on my Mypod..." Lisa put in her headphones.
"Kids do you remember when you were five years old putting ketchup and mustard on your hotdogs? And now today, in five acts: condiments." said Lisa's weird choice in music. "Act one ketchup. Act two, mustard. Act three, Mayo. Act four, relish. Act five, corn relish."
"Mom this isn't the way home?" said Lisa as Marge turned down the wrong junction.
"Maybe we're not going home right away..." said Marge slyly.
"Oh I see... They get to go to Oslo, we get to go for ice cream... they get to skive off from work and school being truckers, we get to buys a new doorbell..." said Lisa.
"Well... you could go and get some ice cream... or... spend a week at performing arts camp!" said Marge pulling up at an art theme camp. She hadn't put the handbrake on properly so the car crept forward. "Whoops! Didn't time that right." Marge put on the breaks.
Lisa gasped with joy. "Oh my god! Thanks Mom!" She got out. "Now I just need my-" she gasped as Marge handed her, her saxophone. "Thanks Mom!"
"Did you really think I'd forget?" said Marge. "Now have a great time!"
"Victory for the middle child!" Lisa cheered and went to the performing arts camp.
Marge drove off happily. Ready to wait until the following Saturday to pick Lisa up. Maggie and Eric frowned.
"Awwww... you two thought I forgot you?" Marge asked them. "Babies shouldn't jump to conclusions!"
Maggie and Eric gaped happily as Marge gave them each a new pacifier. They sucked their pacifiers happily.
...
Lisa was at the performing arts camp. But it seemed completely empty. "I see no staff or councillors!"
"More art for me!" said Oscar.
"I see no other kids..." said Lisa.
"More art for me?!" said Oscar confused.
"I see no performances... no paints or crepe paper?!" said Lisa. "Hello? Hellooooo..." she approached one of the the log cabins when suddenly small figures, likely children, bursted out of every door and window in black skin tight outfits wearing eerie white masks.
"Aaaaaaaagh!" Lisa screamed.
"Oh shoot! Ninja attack!" Oscar yelled. Then he did the crane stance and made a silly karate war cry. "Huaaaaaaa! Hiyaaaaaa...!"
"We're not ninjas..." said a boy taking off his mask.
"Or assassin mimes..." said a girl.
All the kids took off their masks. And started singing!
"I..."
"I love the pearls you wear!"
"And the starfish shape that constitutes as your hair!"
"You'll"
"Be staying in cabin 12!"
"And we really think you'll be really happy there!"
Oscar sighed.
"I get it! It's performing arts club! But do you have to sing and dance about everything?!" Oscar said slightly annoyed.
Lisa and the campers were still singing. Some spelt out the word Lisa with their bodies and then turned it to Visa.
"Art, art and education!" Lisa sung.
"No!" Oscar yelled.
"Art, art and education!" Lisa sung.
"No!" Oscar yelled louder.
"What is your problem now Oz..." said Lisa.
"There you go again with your over achiever ness! Decrying the joys of education and learning with Art!" Oscar ranting. "You are ruining art for me, which is a hobby for me! I did not come here for extra curricular art and drama class! I came to draw and paint my cartoons in my own time and chill..."
"Fine... then I'll just sing, Art! Art! And Arrrrrt!" said Lisa.
"Or you could sing, Fart! Fart! And Faaaaaaart..." said Oscar giggling. Lisa frowned. "Sorry I figured I should be stupid since Bart's not here..."
Plot 2
Lisa was in cabin 12 picking a bed and unpacking when the councillors arrived. They were two young guitarists called Kurt and Ethan.
"Knock knock." said Kurt.
"Who's there?" said Oscar starting a knock knock joke.
"Very funny. We're your camp councillors. I'm Kurt!" said Kurt.
"And I'm Ethan." said Ethan.
"They're also our celebrity guests this episode. Jermaine Clement and Brett McKensie." said Oscar. "Jermaine was Tamatoa the giant crab monster in Moana and does Tim Curry style bad guy voices hence he is sometimes known as Tim Curry 2.0. And Brett is just here because he was in Flight of the Conchords with Jermaine Clement..."
"Fascinating Oz..." said Lisa.
Unfortunately Kurt and Ethan had a habit of repeating what they said in song.
"First we get you your camp T-shirt. They're all in medium." said Kurt,
"Ooooooooh! Girl I hope you're a mediuuuuuum!" they sung and played their guitars.
"And we have to go through your meal plan." said Kurt.
"Oh your meal plaaaan! Let's plan it together!" the councillors sung.
"Guys do you have to do that..." Lisa sighed.
"Do what?" Ethan asked.
"Sing about what you just said while playing your guitars..." said Lisa.
The councillors had an awkward silence. "... Yes."
Lisa sighed.
Then the councillors bickered. This bit is funny...
"You sang counselling twice..." said Kurt.
"Well we do a lot of counselling..." said Ethan.
" Yeah, but we don't do twice as much counseling." said Kurt.
"Well, don't question me in front of the children!" Ethan hissed.
"She can't hear us, we're stage whispering." said Kurt.
"I can hear you." Lisa sighed.
"No, you can't." said Kurt and Ethan.
Lisa sighed frustrated.
...
Krusty, Bart and Homer were getting off of the plane at Oslo apparently.
"Well how about that flight meal? Shoulda called it chicken Cordon bleeeech!" said Krusty. "Eh?"
Homer laughed wearily. "Hehehehe... that was a good one..."
"Hold on! This isn't Oslo! Where's the wood stave churches? And historic Arkeshus Fortress?" Bart asked.
"And stupid, colourful but impractical furniture!" said Homer.
"You are not in Oslo. You are in Holland, more specifically The Hague!" said an official looking man.
"Excuse me, did you say a Hague?" Krusty asked.
"No, The Hague!" said the man.
"William Hague?" Homer asked frightened.
"No! Just The Hague." said the man slightly irritated.
Homer screamed.
"Wait a minute! Where's my Nobel Peace prize then?!" Krusty asked.
"There is no prize. This was merely a ruse to lure you here to face judgment for your crimes committed across Europe!" said the man to Krusty.
"Oh no! It's a trap! And we fell for it!" said Bart.
"Oooooh! I knew we should've listened to Admiral Ackbar!" Homer whined.
"It's a trap!" said Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars.
"Wait! Read me my charges!" said Krusty.
"Very well. In Paris you dropped a monkey off the Eiffel Tower..." said the man.
"Uh oh..." said Krusty.
"In Greece you committed something called aggravated Hey Hey!" said the Man.
Krusty was embarrassed.
"And in Denmark you stole an entire act from beloved clown Van Krusten!" said the official looking man who might be an Air Marshal.
A clown on a bike appeared. "U bestolen al mijn jokenchortles!" yelled the danish clown punching Krusty.
"Gah!" Krusty cried in pain.
"Take him away!" said the Air Marshal Guy.
"No wait! I'm innocent! Innoceeeeent!" Krusty begged as he was dragged away.
...
At performing arts camp. All the kids were on stage performing.
"Now part of being a performer is how to deal with hecklers." said Kurt. "Aaaaand action!"
The black haired boy was up first. "Top of the evening Officer Krupke!" said the boy acting.
"Your dog's dead!" said Kurt.
"That's not a heckle!" said Ethan.
"Fine... I've seen more life in the Wellington gardens!" said Kurt.
"Unless you're from Wellington you won't get that..." said Ethan.
Kurt sighed.
...
That evening at camp the campers, with Oscar in his pampers, were sat round a campfire with the councillors.
Cousin Hank seethed.
Oscar made a face at him.
"So apart from being our councillors what do you guys do?" Lisa asked.
"We're highly successful artists." said Kurt.
No you're not. You barely make ends meet dressed as a falafel on street corners and doing night shifts in Subway...
"And as artists, we live In Springfield's most artistic borough. Sprooklyn." said Ethan.
No. You live in a draughty apartment in a run down, drunk and crack den plagued area with shootings happening every day...
"Narrator stop spoiling the story..." said Lisa.
"We spend our days acting and painting... dancing and sculpting..." said Kurt and Ethan interchangeably.
"Playing my Gibson." said Kurt playing his Gibson guitar.
"Rehearsing my Ibsen." said Ethan. Silly reference time!
"Mwuhahahaha!" Laughed a Tennessee accented evil laugh. "Well, well, well. This is most interesting... I have been summoned here by our omnipotent narrator..." said Professor J.S Heinrich Ibsen from Jumanji, the cartoon series.
"Aaaaaaagh! Ibsen!" Oscar, Peter and Judy screamed.
Lisa grimaced at the fourth wall.
Professor JS Ibsen tormented them by playing the morning song from Peer Gynt.
That famous sunrise song plays.
"Aaaaaagh! It poetically represents morning! And the beauty of nature!" Peter Shepherd from the Jumanji cartoon screams.
"Wrong Ibsen..." Lisa sighed.
Oscar watched Professor Ibsen play Morning Song while Teddy, his living teddy bear sniffed his diaper with his big, wet shiny nose.
...
After Professor Ibsen left, probably to sic cybernetic rhinoceros and acid tongued frogs on Peter and Judy Shepherd. The campers and their councillors sung another song and Professor Hawking joined in having pimped up his ride. His chair... and was dressed as a rapper with gold chains and stuff.
"Professor Stephen Hawking?! What are you doing here?" said Lisa.
"I live in Springfield now." said Professor Stephen Hawking in a computerised tone. "If you see a little Caesars, that's mine. Be sure to come and pay me a visit. Pizza... pizza..."
Lisa grimaced. A brilliant genius and college professor working in a pizza takeaway restaurant... uh okay...
Then Kurt made his famous triple deck s'mores. Mmmmm... s'mores.
And Ethan sung to a cow while it was grazing.
"I give art like you give milk!" Ethan sung to the cow.
The cow mooed. Mooooooooooo!
Teddy, Oscar's teddy bear creature then started milking the cow by squeezing her udders.
...
Krusty was hauled before a court.
He begged for forgiveness. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I've done! And uh for things you don't know about yet..."
"Krusty, there is only one way you can be exonerated for your crimes!" said the judge.
"Oh I get it... Holland needs some new blades on their windmills..." said Krusty getting out some money.
"No not that! Holland has the finest windmills in the world!" said the judge.
"You wish..." said Homer.
"Silence in court!" The judge banged his gavel. "The only way to be exonerated of your heinous crimes Krusty is for you... to show that you have contributed in some way to western culture!"
"Did you say Western?" Krusty asked.
"Yes." said the judge.
"Oh good! Because you'll love my Wyatt Burp sketch! Huhuhuh..." Krusty suggested a Western/cowboy themed sketch with burping.
"I uh do not know this Wyatt Burp you speak of." said the judge.
"He's the dog sheriff in Fievel's An American Tale 2!" Homer heckled.
Bart winced.
"Oh... then let me do my Dutch oven bit. No I swear it's not about you your honour! It's uh about another Dutchman..." said Krusty.
The talk of Dutch ovens gave Bart a dream cloud. He was day dreaming that one evening after Oscar cracked down harshly on the Simpsons to look after Hugo properly the twin sons of the Simpsons were sharing a bed. Hugo was fast asleep when Bart opened his eye to look around sneakily and woke up. Suddenly he yelled "Dutch oven! And stuffed Hugo under the blanket and held him under while farting. Hugo cried and retched while struggling to get out.
"Ugh! Bart! I do not want to get familiar with the smell of your colon!" Hugo cried in disgust.
Bart laughed as his day dream ended.
"Uh... let's take a recess..." said Homer.
"Sure thing Dad! We can go and find the Dutch Van Houtens! See if they're as bad as Milhouse's Danish Uncle Norbert says so." said Bart.
...
Back at performing arts camp, Lisa and her new friends were looking at the clouds and saying what they look like.
"That cloud looks like a theatre director saying "you've got the part!"." said Lisa. The cloud looked like that.
"That cloud looks like legendary broadway lyricist Betty Comden." said the brown haired Hispanic girl.
"That cloud looks like a cloud..." said Oscar. He saw an ordinary cloud.
Lisa rolled her eyes. "You must have some imagination Oscar..."
"Does our sky always look like that?" The black haired boy asked.
"Like what Sebastian?" Lisa asked.
"A crisp blue with partial clouds and giant yellow letters reading "The Simpsons"" said Sebastian.
In the sky was the Simpsons logo and the chorus singing.
"...just ignore that..." said Lisa.
Marge arrived.
"Sweetie it's time to go! Your week is up!" said Marge.
"What?! Already?!" Lisa gasped. She went through her camera. "Monday was orientation. Tuesday we did Mimes. Wednesday we did Mame... Thursday we were attacked by bees..." there was a funny photo of a swarm of angry bees and Lisa and everyone running around screaming.
"Beeeeees!" Teddy screamed.
"Aaaaagh! No! Not the bees! Not the bees!" Nicholas Cage screamed.
Lisa sighed. "Friday we did Angels of America and later Andrew Lloyd Webber visited. And... you're right! It's Saturday! Oh no! I such a wonderful time!"
"Well unfortunately I only booked you a week sweetie. Say your goodbyes." said Marge.
"Goodbye! Fair well!" Lisa said goodbye to her friends.
"Goodbye Lisa! I'll miss you! First lots, then a little, then not too much." said a girl.
"Lisa do you have to leave now?" Kurt and Ethan asked.
"No time! I have to get going or we'll get stuck behind all the joggers from fat camp!" said Marge.
There were fat kids holding up a line of cars. The drivers were bibbing their horns and yelling angry.
"My grandma can jog faster! And she's dead!" A man yelled.
Marge and Lisa left.
"But I can't go! Something happened this week that completely changed me." said Lisa.
"Oh my! You didn't see a boy lose his swim trunks did you?" Marge asked concerned.
"No." said Lisa.
"Yes!" said Oscar. "Mine!"
"Oscar I was in the cabin playing Hello Operator and clapping with the girls so I didn't see that." said Lisa.
"Well a lot of campers saw my wiener..." said Oscar.
"Hmmmmmmm..." Marge sighed.
"I fell in love with music and dance!" said Lisa.
"We have songs in the car! Maggie's favourite! Roofi.
Marge put on a Roofi CD.
"Brush your teeth! Comb your hair! Brush your teeth! Comb your hair!" Roofi sung.
Oscar and Lisa screamed. "Aaaaaaaaghhh! No Mom! No!" They unbuckled their seatbelts and got out and fled.
"Geez... they really hate Roofi..." Marge sighed.
Plot 3
The following Monday morning Lisa and Hugo go to school. Bart is still in Holland?! (Confused screaming)
"Oz rescuing Krusty from Euro jail is more important than school right now." said Bart in a comic panel.
Oscar screamed "Reeeeeeeeeee!"
Eventually the bus arrives and everyone except Lisa gets off at School.
"Dudedette, what's wrong? You're usually the first off this death trap." said Otto.
"Well the combination of me leaving arts camp and you driving erratically has made me a little ill." said Lisa.
"Oh my bad. I really shouldn't have been driving while playing this driving video game!" said Otto playing a Gameboy Advance.
Lisa eventually got off the bus and went to school.
"Okay... school isn't gonna be that bad..." said Lisa.
"Hey Lisa, how was farts camp?" asked Jimbo. The bullies laughed.
"Farts camp! What a classic!" Dolph laughed.
"Did you paint a picture on toilet paper?" Kerne asked. The bullies laughed.
Lisa sighed and went inside.
In music class with Mr Largo, the class was playing My country Tis of thee, badly.
Peter Shepherd was doing solo choir to test his singing range.
"My country Tis of theeee..." Peter Shepherd sung badly and off key. Everyone laughed.
"Peter your Terrible voice has made a mockery of My Country Tis of Thee!" Mr Largo.
"Hey it's not my fault I can't sing..." Peter whined.
"From the top children..." Mr Largo sighed.
They played badly and Lisa played a brilliant Jazz solo.
"Lisa please stick to the illegally Xeroxed music scores..." said Mr Largo.
"But Mr Largo Art camp..." said Lisa.
"Yes Lisa, I went to arts camp too. They fill your coconut with banana cream dreams..." said Mr Largo. Mmmmmm! Coconut and banana cream...
"How did you cope?" Lisa asked.
"Vanilla wafers and plum wine. From the top..." said Mr Largo. "My country Tis of thee... Life disappointed me! I'm fifty three!"
Lisa sighed depressed.
...
In Holland in a hotel room/apartment Bart and Homer were trying to find evidence Krusty contributed to western culture. They were at a laptop on YouTube.
However all the videos were of Krusty embarrassing himself and others with his antics.
"Let's see, Krusty drunk on the tonight show. Krusty drunk on the today show. Krusty confesses to self mutilation on a PBS telefon, Krusty vomits in a baby pram, Krusty uses child as a shield, Krusty's celebrity poker tournament breakdown... Ah ha! Krusty on the electric company sketch." said Bart.
Unfortunately Krusty caused embarrassment on that too.
"Lights off, out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind!" A black guy was rapping.
"I need to be kept out of sight! I slept with the lighting director's wife!" said Krusty. He cried in pain as a light fell on him like an anvil and squashed him. Spider-Man then appeared and started dancing!
Bart and Homer were confused.
Homer then watched Married with Children.
"No Peg." Al Bundy flushed the toilet next to his couch.
An audience laughed.
Bart groaned.
"Bart, they've got a kid's party downstairs." Homer sighed.
Bart whined. "Kid's party?!"
Homer sighed. "A young adult's party..."
...
At the Simpsons house, the Simpsons without Bart and Homer had dinner. Grampa came round for dinner for some reason.
Lisa didn't feel hungry.
"What's a matter sweetie? Lost your appetite?" Marge asked.
"The only appetite I have is for performing arts." said Lisa. "And I can't enjoy my meal with all the ridiculous non canon characters! Go away Oscar and take a Hugo and Eric with you!"
"Nope." said Oscar eating dinner. Hugo was trying to eat his napkin again.
Lisa sighed. "I just want to have an enriching and stimulating conversation at dinner."
"Well, Bart and Dad ain't here to enlighten us with talk of personal hygiene and belching and farting..." Hugo sighed stirring his food. "I say we talk about Quantum mechanics. Or maybe Darwin's theory of evolution."
Lisa despite wanting the none canon characters gone from the dining table cheered up. "That's nice Hugo, but I was thinking of something more to do with art and literature. At art camp one evening we only spoke in lines from famous poems."
"Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me." said Grampa.
"Emily Dickinson." said Lisa.
"No I was just describing my day." said Grampa.
That morning Grampa jay walked and nearly got ran over by the Grim Reaper in his yellow car. He stopped suddenly and sharply and yelled at Grampa shaking a bony wrist. "You crazy old coot! Watch where you're going!"
Lisa squinted at this weirdness. "If anyone needs me I'll be in my room..." Lisa sighed.
"Oooooh! I wish I could climb the stairs on my own like an eight year old girl..." said Grampa.
...
Then that evening Lisa ran away from home for some reason...
"Goodbye Maggie. One day when I am a famous artist we'll take Springfield by storm like the Bronte Sisters." said Lisa.
Maggie held up a placard reading Brontosaurus with a picture of a brontosaurus.
Lisa grimaced. "No Maggie. Bronte sisters... not brontosaurus..." she sighed exasperated and left.
She crossed a bridge to Sprooklyn and by morning ended up in a rough neighbourhood.
"No this can't be right! Kurt and Ethan said Sprooklyn was a bustling art community!" Lisa lamented.
But here she was outside their apartment block which she checked via a list. A hobo slept on the front steps. Lisa shrugged sadly and carefully went inside being careful not to wake up or antagonise the hobo. She went inside and to Kurt and Ethan's flat.
"Ugh this place looks like Bart's run down apartment he moved to when he left home in Barting Over..." Lisa commented. She then knocked on Kurt and Ethan's door.
"Hi Lisa! What brings you here?" said Kurt.
"I've come to live the life of an artist! And Oh my!" said ?isa but she was disappointed by how they lived. "This place is draughty!"
"The windows don't close and our landlord cut off our central heating." said Kurt.
"And is that damp from mould?" Lisa asked.
"It's not so bad here Lisa." said Ethan.
There was gunfire outside from a shooting.
"Bloody idiots..." Kurt sighed.
Lisa frowned.
"Okay we fess up. The life of an artist is not what its cracked up to be." said Kurt and Ethan. They then sang about their woes. They made ends meet. By dressing up as falafel but had to share the costume. And people everyday mocked them, kids laughed at them.
"We also sell sandwiches in Subway." said Kurt.
"But we get to keep any that drop on the floor." said Ethan.
"Yeah but only if it's by accident." said Kurt.
Then we cut to Krusty in jail.
"I thought my trip to Europe would go without a hitch. But here I am in jail living as a prison snitch..." Krusty sang.
The other prisoners glared at him.
"Oh crap!" Krusty cried as they surrounded him and beat him up.
Back at Kurt and Ethan's apartment.
"No! It's too late in the episode now to have an emotional scene in my story arc! There must be a happy ending! Surely!" Lisa whined as the we are already in part three of the episode! And very rarely do I reach a part four...
"I'm sorry Lisa but there is no happy ending for us... unless we get lucky on Broadway or get a career in Rock or pop..." said Kurt.
"We are doing a show tonight in a beatnik cafe." said Ethan. "Would you like to come?"
"Sure." said Lisa disappointed in how her heroes lived.
She leaned melancholic at the window then scowled because there was a poster of Andy Hamilton in a crisp suit on the Jay Leno show having made it big.
Lisa did a loser sign at the billboard.
...
In Holland at the William Hague court.
"What do you have to say in your defence Krusty?" said the judge.
"I am truly sorry your honour. I have been so bad ever since I was... a little squirt! Ha!" He squirted a seltzer bottle at the judge. He didn't find that funny. "Ha? Oh come on! I thought you Euro jerks found bad comedy funny?!"
"We don't put the word Euro in front of everything..." said the judge. "Euro Guards! Cuff him with the Euro cuffs and put him in Euro car!"
"Stop!" Homer bursted in. "We have evidence that can save Krusty!"
"And it's on a DVD!" said Bart.
"Yes but what region?" said the judge.
"What region is America?" asked Homer.
"You are region one." said the judge.
"Woohoo! We're number one! We're number one!" said Homer cheering.
"Yes but your evidence won't work. All you will get is a fizzing screen and an error message..." said the judge.
"My brother has a multi region player. I just hope he is not on holiday." said a plaintiff.
A funny European clock played Snow White Dwarf music as dwarves smacked Hitler on the head with mallets.
Homer laughed at the clock. "What an hilarious clock! It's just so random there was no explanation for it! Ahahahaha!"
The plaintiff's brother arrived and set up the multi region DVD player.
"I need it back because I am watching the real housewives of Atlanta." said the brother.
They watched the DVD.
Krusty was at a concert in South Africa.
"No! I am not playing The Big Bopper! I'm outta here! Orchestra! Vuvuzela me outta here!" yelled Krusty.
The orchestra played Vuvuzelas.
Krusty marched off and Bart paused the tape.
"Three days later, Nelson Mandela was released from prison to meddle with time and space as a rogue time traveller." said Bart.
"Krusty we have greatly misjudged you. You are free to go." The judge ordered his release. "You're selfishness has saved the world!" Yeah because misspelt Berenstein bears is saving the world... and don't you red line that Fandom! That is the true spelling from the real universe!
"So I'm not so bad now am I?" Krusty said smugly.
Everyone shrugged.
"Well what do you do to celebrate round here? Is there anywhere I can smoke some hash?" Krusty asked.
"Of course! The courtyard cafe! I'll be there! Get me a raspberry crepe and a brick of hash!" said the judge.
"How do you smoke it?" Krusty asked.
"I melt it and inject it into my eyelids." said the judge.
"Hehehe! You're alright judge..." Krusty liked the judge's unashamed eyelid injections with marijuana.
"I wouldn't celebrate so soon!" said a stern magistrate. "We need to see the rest of the DVD."
"No really your honour you don't!" Bart tried to stop him but the magistrate played the DVD from where Bart stopped it. Krusty was doing something embarrassing and offensive. Probably muttering something offensive under his breath.
The court were offended.
"Krusty what do you have to say for yourself?" The judge was cross with him again.
"Wait! We're almost at the end of the episode! We can't end like this!" Bart yelled.
"Yeah Duchess of Cornball! Why did you get Krusty in even more trouble! What do you get out of it?" said Homer.
"Because Krusty and I go way back... especially since I was his former Sideshow!" said the magistrate that resembled Manfred Von Karma from Ace Attorney. He pulled off his face which was actually a rubber mask to reveal he was... Sideshow Bob! Dun dun dun!
"Nyaaaaaaagh! SidesHow Bob!" Bart screamed. "Wait how did you get out of jail so soon?!"
"Those LA cops were rookies. They were too easily distracted by the football on the radio and doing Fonzie impressions..." said Sideshow Bob with his usual face and not Walt Warren's. However his face still had stitches on it from his face off. Mmmmm... Nicholas Cage...
"And now. My latest scheme. To ruin Krusty and get him locked up behind bars is complete! I finally succeed! Mwuhahahaha!" Sideshow Bob laughed evilly. "Oh! Victory feels so pleasant!"
Bob resumes laughing evilly as the camera focuses on a Bart's horrified expression as the scene fades to black...
Plot 4
At home, because they had no lines or scenes, because they're not canon... Hugo sat in the lounge picking at his feet and Eric played nicely with Maggie stacking the alphabet blocks.
"Hugo stop picking at your feet!" Marge said pacing up and down worried about Lisa. "Oh my eight year old daughter has ran away! And my son and husband still haven't returned from Europe!"
"But she doesn't worry in canon!" Matt whined.
"That's because you're a fruit loop!" Oscar said while typing up this episode.
"Ma'am we'll find your daughter, just as soon as I find a good cruller..." said Wiggum.
Marge cried having to deal with an incompetent cop.
"Wiggum what is your favourite amendment of the American constitution?" Oscar asked him.
"The second." said Wiggum.
"The right to bare arms?! Why?" Oscar asked intrigued.
"No... The right to eat bear arms. Or bear claws! Num! Num! Num! Munch!" said Wiggum eating a bear claw. It's a type of donut with an unfortunate name.
"Stop eating my paws!" Teddy cried with bloody stumps where his hands/front paws should be, along with several dead and dying bears in the lounge as Lou and Eddie amputated the paws from them. Mmmmmmm, unbearable...
"Oz that is not funny, and they are not actually bear paws..." Hugo sighed.
...
In a dark cafe in Sprooklyn. Kurt and Ethan finish a performance. Lisa claps a round of applause.
"What's she doing with her hands?" Kurt asked.
"It's called applause. It means I liked your performance." said Lisa.
"Well I'm not sure I like this applause..." said Ethan.
"And that is probably why you're not successful artists..." Lisa sighed.
Lisa had something more to ask after being so rude... "I just have one question. What sort of artists are you, really?"
"Sandwich artists." said Kurt.
"How wonderful! So am I!" said Quiffy wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt with flowers on it. He quickly assembled a Dagwood sandwich. Those cartoon tower sandwiches.
Lisa sighed as Quiffy was eating his Dagwood sandwich.
A door opens and there is a silhouette of Marge's beehive hair do. "Lisa are you in here?" I love how the episode completely ignores her reacting in horror that morning of not finding Lisa in her room and just tacks on the aftermath of Marge somehow finding that Lisa was in Sprooklyn... great writing Matt...
"Oh shut up!" Matt snapped.
"Oh Mom take me home!" Lisa ran to Marge. They left.
"Okay let's sing something else..." said Kurt.
There was Kurt and Ethan singing over a montage of their lives. After they sing at the beatnik cafe they go to work at Subways. The boss tells them off for being late.
"You're late! Get to work!"
And while working, Kurt not so subtly drops a sandwich.
"Oops!" Kurt said sheepishly.
The manager glares at him.
"Oh and don't go in the back today. Jared Fogle is back there uh..." said the manager.
"Help us!"
"I want my mommy!"
(Children crying) there was clearly children in the back being tortured or something even worse...
"Yes we get it Narrator..." Lisa sighed.
"Well our story is over sweetie. And in good time too! We need to head to Holland!" said Marge.
"Why Holland?" Lisa asked.
"Because there was no Nobel peace prize for Krusty it was all an elaborate trap to get him to face court in Holland for some things he did in Europe." said Marge.
"I knew it! Krusty is the last candidate to receive a Nobel Peace prize! Oh but poor Krusty though!" said Lisa.
"Yes I've been watching the whole news report all week! And get this! Sideshow Bob is out of prison again!" said Marge.
"Oh my!" said Lisa.
As they left Sprooklyn they saw a painting of Lisa playing her saxophone on stage.
"Oh thanks guys!" Lisa cheered.
"No thank you Lisa for being a ray of sunshine in our cloudy lives..." said Kurt as the artists waved goodbye.
"How did we get up here?!" said Ethan.
"We're artists, we can fly..." said Kurt. They flew like Superman home.
"In a way I think we learned more from Lisa than she learned from us." said Kurt.
"Well obviously because we taught her nothing." said Ethan.
"You think she can hear us?" Kurt asked as the artist were sat in the back of Marge's car.
"No because we're stage whispering. She can't here us..." said Ethan.
"I can totally hear you..." said Lisa.
"No you can't." said Kurt.
...
In Holland Bart was frightened as Bob laughed evilly until Dutch police arrested him. "What?! Oh the whole escaping from jail with an attempted murder charge and a grievous bodily harm charge..." Bob sighed as he was taken away.
"Krusty. In light of Bob's evidence but considering we are cut for time... I sentence you to community service and to be kicked up the buttocks with a big shoe." said the judge.
"Oh the right in the tuckus. Got it." said Krusty accepting his punishment. A scary man in a black jacket wearing a big boot was about to kick him.
The end!