Chapter 2

Otium cum dignitate

"Rest with dignity"

She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-Macbeth

"Would you just stay down?!" Inuyasha roared as he swiped at yet another lynx that had popped up in front of him, massive and abnormally large when compared to the others. Kirara had gone down, taking a blow meant for Sango and Miroku, both were already sporting various cuts and scrapes. Claws swiped against his chest, digging deep into his flesh. The blow knocked him back a couple steps, but he leapt to the offensive, slicing Tetsusaiga and catching the arm swinging up towards him. Blood sprayed out, but Inuyasha watched in surprise as the flesh knit itself back together almost instantaneously.

The damn lynx had a shard in him.

He glanced over his shoulder at Miroku, who was already reaching for his ofuda, breathing heavily. There was a cut above his eye that bled down his face. This fourth one was causing all of them some issues.

"Move, Inuyasha!" He shouted, throwing his hand out as the paper flew towards the lynx. There was no need for Inuyasha to react really. The hard swipe of a clawed hand sent him back first into the ground. He sprang up quickly enough, but he could feel the blood seeping into his clothes. Miroku had thrown three, almost blindly, but two missed, landing on the ground a few feet behind the demon. The sheer volume of the roar it let out had Inuyasha's ears pinning flat back against his skull. But all he needed was an opening, and for the stupid thing to just slow down enough for him to avoid the damn claws. He'd almost been completely eviscerated as it was. One of his hands was the only thing keeping his innards actually in his body.

"Kagome! Where's the shard?" He faced the youkai, sword at the ready. "No way this one doesn't have at least one shard." But there was silence that followed his statement. "Kagome?"

"Who are you looking for, half-breed?" The youkai drooled as Miroku slapped another ofuda that brought it to its knees.

"None of your business!" He glanced over his shoulder at the tree line. "Dammit, Kagome! Answer me!" Another count of the lynxes, proved all of them accounted for. There were four, and there are four in the clearing, in piles at least. Sango was in front of Kirara. Miroku stood on the other side of the lynx. His stomach clenched uncomfortably. He couldn't hear her. The smell of blood was overwhelming. There was a lot, his own up close and personal. He didn't see her anywhere in clearing, but he also didn't see or sense her anywhere else. Although the likelihood of the miko actually listening and staying out of trouble was the least likely thing to happen today or any other day.

"Looking for something?" The lynx drawled out. His face twisted up into a grin.

"What did you do?" His voice lowered an octave and he stared the lynx down. The lynx swung in a half-assed attempt strike the monk, and Inuyasha was quick to place Tetsusaiga at his throat. The lynx didn't say a word, snarling as Miroku plastered him with another ofuda, forcing the youkai's arms to go slack. It was too damn strong for it to be natural. "What did you do to Kagome? Where is she?"

"Only what we were sent to do." Inuyasha's claws dug into the soft flesh, cutting off his air and his ability to talk. Now that he was close enough, he could smell it. Faint, easily lost in the all the other smells out here. But it was there. Blood. Her blood.

"Where. Is. She?" The words came out in a low snarl, and he caught sight of Miroku taking a step towards him.

"Inuyasha," Miroku started, but it was Sango who placed a hand on the monk's shoulder and stopped his speech with Kirara limping behind her.

"Go sniff her out—mutt," the lynx rasped under the claws in his throat. "Can't be too hard to find the body. Couldn't have gotten too far now." He let out a burbling gasp of a laugh, and Inuyasha felt the soft tissue of his windpipe slide against his fingers as he dug deeper and then pulled. The flesh and muscle tore easily, and he let it fall from his hand to the ground at his feet.

Miroku flinched in his peripherals, but that didn't stop him. The blood goaded him, pressured him; he needed to do something. He stared into the eyes of the choking lynx, whose eyes darted to the side and focused, before flitting back to him and letting a slow smile grow over his face. Inuyasha followed his gaze, looking for whatever it was that he was looking for. Pausing, and then sucking in a breath when his own eyes landed on the cliff. They widened, his breath hitched, his ears flickered for any sign of noise of which there was none.

Kagome.

A low whine escaped him as he realized the possibilities.

His own demon rose, feral at the idea of any of his pack being harmed, but especially her. Even with Tetsusaiga at his side, there was something primal that wanted revenge, blood for blood. He turned towards the lynx and let the growl erupt from his throat.

He didn't realize what he'd done until the youkai was in pieces and strewn apart across the clearing. Sango landed to his left on Kirara. She held something in her hands, but the bulk of Kirara blocked whatever it was from view.

"Inuyasha," Sango's voice called to him and he took a deep breath to steady his nerves. It sounded watery.

"Sango, wait." Miroku held his arm out to stop her from approaching. His eyes flicked to the both of them, and they both seemed to relax. "Inuyasha? Are you back?"

"I never left, idiot."

"Of course. I have gathered the shards that we could find." He held his hand out, palm up, and he saw a large chunk there. Enough to be made of the few shards that Kagome held, merged together in the youkai's body. His gaze turned towards the cliff face, and he leapt towards it. He gazed down, seeing the river and the rocks at the bottom. It was too far. He'd live, of course, maybe with a few broken bones. She wouldn't stand a chance, even if all she did was strike the water. It would feel like stone from this height.

The sun was setting; it was breathtaking. She would love it; he would have to bring her—

His chest spasmed, and he leapt down the cliff, taking care to slow his descent enough. He leapt off the cliff and onto the opposite side. The loamy earth slid under his feet and between his toes; it was noted, but not recognized. Sango and Miroku landed a moment behind him on a struggling Kirara. For as much as his stomach dropped, his last meal rose up into his throat, threatening a revolt.

Arrows scattered over the rocks, some laying on the ground near where he stood. They'd flown out when she'd fallen most likely. From this angle, she would've—

"I found this." Sango's statement was punctuated with a hard swallow. He broke his gaze and looked at her, eyes drifting to her hands, where a broken bow lay. He reached out and took it from her. It had snapped clean in two and somewhere the string itself had been lost. He looked back up at her.

"I didn't—I wasn't—She—" Again, that desire to retch taunted him and he could feel his skin sour at the restraint.

"She's gone, isn't she?" Sango asked, and that was all it took. He spun, bow still in hand, leaned against the nearest tree and expelled every last bit of food he'd ever consumed. He wound his arm around his midsection as his own guts threated to expel themselves through the lacerations.

"Inuyasha?" Miroku's hand rested on his shoulder.

"'m fine," he mumbled as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He stepped away from the tree, looking back at the river. Even though there was nothing left, something still threatened to rise in his throat. Miroku gave him a sad smile and turned towards the river, moving to stand at the edge of the water.

For a moment, there was a zing of relief that she'd made Shippo stay in the village. Miroku's chant carried over to them and Inuyasha watched, dazed at the idea, the very concept, that she was dead. That can't be right. She couldn't simply just be gone, just like that. He'd promised her—sworn at his father's grave to protect her. Would Tetsusaiga even work with her gone?

Miroku's voice caught, hitched, as he muffled a low sob, shoulders shaking as he tried to speak. In one of her few acts of intimacy that Inuyasha had seen, Sango moved to Miroku's side, wrapping her arms around him. He returned the embrace and he watched them cry. His fingers twitched, as if reaching out for her hand, but Kirara nudged his arm instead.

He should do something, right? There were things he needed to do, right? But the list evaporated from his mind and all he could gather was that everything felt colder now. It all felt empty, pointless; he was purposeless now. How could he move on from this? The rocks were pristine, clean of any remnants of her. How much had it hurt? Was she afraid? Did she die hating him because he'd failed her, failed to do the one thing he'd sworn to do? He—he needed to find her. He couldn't believe that she was gone—really gone—until he saw it first hand. That's all there was to it.

"I'm going to look—" His voice shook as he talked and he cleared it. "I'm going to find her."

"Inuyasha, it's too dark. You're injured; we're all injured. Kirara barely made it down here."

"I'm not leaving her out there!" He bellowed, wincing at he pressure it put on his abdomen.

"We won't be able to help you look," Miroku started.

"I don't need your help. I can see just fine without you."

"Kagome wouldn't want you to injure yourself more—" Sango's own voice was thick with tears.

"Well, she ain't exactly around to say anything, is she?" He snapped. He glanced between them, suddenly envious of what they had and what he, for a second time, was denied. "Forget this." He moved to leap, but it was a tug at his sleeve that halted him. He could've moved, ripped his arm away without any struggle.

"Please, Inuyasha. We can't lose you too," Sango whispered. He turned his head away, claws digging into his palms as he clenched his fists. "Please, we will help you look. Just let us bandage your wounds and our own."

"Kagome would insist on it." Miroku paused. "I would insist on it as well. I'll subdue you, if I have to."

He opened his mouth to say something foul, probably crude too, but everything in him just seemed to want to stop. His demon was howling, alternating between wanting to destroy everything around him in a raging fit and curling up into a ball until he withered away. It seemed like a good idea.

After all, it wasn't like she needed saving. It was already too late for that. He sank ungracefully to his knees, falling back against a tree nearby. They were talking to him, but he could only see the rocks, clean and clear, and the water that flowed between them.