Chapter 15
Acta non verba
"Actions, not words"
"To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause"
—Hamlet
He waited outside, listening to Sango quietly speaking to Kagome.
Fuck. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
She wasn't really healthy enough to leave, but fuck if he was letting her stay one more second in this asshole of a village.
Couldn't Sango shut it for a moment and just finish packing first? He wanted out of this place sooner rather than later.
And she'd asked to ride on Kirara. God, how bad had he fucked up to the point that Kagome, the girl that would forgive Sesshomaru for trying to kill her, multiple times mind you, could not bear to forgive him? Not that he didn't deserve it.
All he wanted was to reassure her that she was safe and being restrained from it felt like someone rubbing his fur the wrong way.
"Kagome?" Sango said. "You ready?"
Fucking finally.
"I don't know how much help I'm going to be," Kagome replied, and his ears naturally went towards the sound of her voice.
"Would you like some help?" Miroku asked. He heard shuffling and a quiet whimper from Kagome. They were on the move. He turned towards the sound of their movement before taking a step into the trees just opposite the doorway. He'd wait there to make it more comfortable for her.
"Kirara is outside," Sango said over Kagome's panting. "We're almost there. Just a few more steps, Kagome."
"Do you need a break?" Miroku asked.
"No, I can make it." She was breathing so heavily it made his own heart speed up.
But then she burst out in the sunlight and gave a small smile. Miroku had one arm around his neck and Sango the other. Miroku practically carried her to Kirara, who tried to flatten herself into the ground as much as she could.
It should have been him.
Both of them helped her up, steadying her position before letting go.
"Are you okay to sit by yourself for a moment?" Sango asked her, hands on Kagome's hips. "I don't want you to fall off."
"I think so." Sango's hands left her for a moment, but she waited as though testing the waters to see if Kagome could hold herself up. "Okay then. I'll be right back. Keep an eye on her Kirara!" Sango ran back inside the room as a group of ladies passed by. Kagome gave a small wave to them as they passed, and they slowed, staring at her and whispering among themselves.
He didn't know if she could hear their conversations or not, but that was probably a good thing.
"That's her."
"Oh, that one."
A short round of noises affirming the statement and he let out a quiet growl.
"Shame, she's a pretty one."
"Who'd marry her now? She's ruined."
A few giggles.
"Maybe she'll be a priestess!" The woman covered her mouth with her hand as she snorted a laugh.
"Shh! She'll hear us!" One hissed, laughing.
"All I'm saying is I wouldn't let my son near that!"
More raucous laughter and Kagome's cheeks flamed as she sat on Kirara's back, exposed.
He stepped out, the rumble in his chest growing to a menacing volume and the women quickly stopped their rambling and laughing and moved away quickly. He looked up at Kagome who was now staring at Kirara's back, fingers gripping her fur tightly. He could see her arms trembling from the effort.
Fuck, maybe she had heard them.
The sun suddenly felt unpleasant.
"Alright, Kagome! All done!" Sango said with a smile, she clearly noted something was amiss. "Everything okay?"
Kagome nodded and tried to flash the most convincing smile she could manage, but she faltered when Sango didn't reciprocate.
"Can we just go?" She whispered.
"Of course, we can." She gently rubbed Kagome's arm in reassurance before climbing onto Kirara's back to steady Kagome as they rode.
Miroku came out of the hut holding her backpack and his staff, looking at the two women briefly before turning his eyes to the tree line.
"Inuyasha?" He called and then moved beside the fire cat as she stood.
Both he and Sango were quick to steady Kagome, who'd fisted her hands into Kirara's fur as she rose from the ground.
"We'll start. He's probably clearing the way for us," Miroku reassured her. Inuyasha stepped out of the trees, and Miroku started just a bit before relaxing and giving a soft nod in his direction. "Ah, there he is now. Let's get going, shall we?"
They moved through the town, heading towards the gates to the main road where they could leave and make their way home.
He moved in front of the fire cat and quickly noticed how the villagers paused in their conversations, chores, transactions, and stared at her as they went by. He was quick to flash fangs in their direction to refocus them back to their tasks at hand. He knew that it had to be making her nervous. He could tell just from the sound of her frantic heartbeat alone. Miroku kept pace beside them, his staff jingling as he walked.
They were almost to the gate, and he hoped that no one interfered. He couldn't stand this place. He dared a glance back as he heard people whispering things about him, about her, about what she was or wasn't now, and who might or might not be responsible.
"Kagome?" Miroku asked. Inuyasha cranked an ear back to hear their conversation more clearly. It was a break at least from the uncomfortable murmuring taking place now. "Are you comfortable riding like that?" He asked and she must have given him a short nod. "Good. We've already planned to take several breaks for resting, but if you get tired, please say something."
He glanced back in enough time to see Sango's hand on her shoulder make her start, flinching under the gentle touch. But Sango made no mention of this even if she had to feel it.
"It will probably take us a while to make it back to Kaede's, but we'll do everything we can to make it comfortable for you, okay?"
Kagome glanced over her shoulder at the slayer, who waited for her acknowledgment. She gave another small nod, facing back towards the road again.
Kaede would know what to do. She just had to survive the trip back home.
The village ended at a large opened gate, leading out into an expanse of forest. She let out a soft exhale at their exit, and he too felt relieved that they were out of sight of people and everyone. And that asshole, he'd wanted to tear his throat out several times. If it hadn't been for Kagome, he would be dead now, Inuyasha was sure of it.
And then the bastard had called him an inugami and an okuri inu! She'd heard him say that it was his fault that she was so injured and sick. While it was true, it wasn't something that had to be said!
It was bad enough to feel alone again. He hadn't realized how much he'd interacted with her, how much he'd practically basked in her presence and attention until it was pulled out from under his feet and sent him crashing back into isolation again.
It wasn't fair.
He looked up at the sky as he walked ahead of all of them. The sun bright and not a cloud in the sky.
It was a beautiful day.
Kagome's physical strength waned pretty quickly, and they'd barely made it a few miles outside of town before he'd heard her panting and shifting on Kirara's back. He found a small area off the path and made the excuse of being thirsty to make them stop. He darted off to the trees, leaping up into the branches to hide himself and his shame.
He watched as Sango and Miroku helped Kagome down and let her rest against the Kirara's side. Her face was pale, and he frowned at the grimace that passed her face as she sat in the grass, arm wrapped around her stomach.
He dropped down, catching Miroku by surprise, though he made no noise except a sharp intake of breath.
"How is she?"
Miroku sighed as he shifted his stance slightly. A quick glance over his shoulder revealed Sango feeding Kagome water from a bottle.
"She's hurting. She'll need to rest for a bit before we head back out again." Miroku turned and refocused back onto him. "You know, it wouldn't hurt to go over and talk to her yourself. It might make her feel better."
Inuyasha scoffed at the notion.
"Bring me the water bottles, there's a stream not too far off. I can refill them."
Miroku let out another sigh and returned to the girls to fetch the empty bottles they had not yet filled before they left. He asked if they were hungry and would like something to eat, but both declined the offer.
"I really think it would be best if you at least said something to her. She's upset."
His eyes narrowed at the girl sleeping against Kirara's side. Sango sat beside her, watching, a sad look on her face, fingers picking at her nails.
"Just keep watch until I get back. Won't be long." He darted off into the trees before Miroku could say anything else.
They were not making progress.
In any sense or application of the word.
It was taking forever to travel.
Kagome had not spoken a single word since they left the village.
Sango worked diligently to ask her questions, but she would only nod or shake her head in response.
She wouldn't even make eye contact with him.
How was he supposed to fucking repair whatever this was if she couldn't even look him in the fucking eye without looking like she was going to fucking cry about it?
Fuck.
This was a disaster.
He refused to let Kirara fly, because he wasn't sure if Kagome could handle the movement, and, God forbid, what if she fell?
So they were going to walk the whole fucking way back to Kaede's in fucking silence and fuck if he wasn't going to be pissy about it.
The sound of a cart drifted towards him, and he strained to see where they were on the road ahead of them. He waited as they approached. The odds of it being the bastards that turned Kagome into this traumatized version of herself was low, but if he had the opportunity, they were dead.
Miroku came up beside him.
"Is there a reason that you're growling and flaring your youki? Or are you just going to be in a perpetual bad mood for the rest of time?"
His eyes cut over to Miroku, who did not look ashamed of himself at all, and back to the front.
"Someone's coming."
"Should we be concerned?" He didn't miss the way Miroku's hand tightened around his staff.
"Don't know."
The cart came into view. An old man and an equally old woman, probably his wife, were using a horse that had definitely seen better days, pulling a cart that looked like one good shake would send it to pieces.
Definitely not a threat.
His posture relaxed slightly, and he winced at the squeaks the wheels made as they moved. There was a soft noise behind him, and he turned as Sango shouted at Kagome, who'd leapt from Kirara's back to land in the dirt.
Her back arched and he recognized the move for what it was, darting next to her as she retched into the grass directly in front of her.
He barely got his arms around her before her arms gave way and she sank forward. Pulling her back before she could land in her own mess, he held her steady as her body sank against his.
"Kagome?" He asked, but her head lolled forward. She'd passed out. No doubt puking her guts out with jacked up ribs was painful. Probably what made her pass out.
"What the fuck, Sango?" He shouted, lifting her chin with his fingers as Sango wiped at Kagome's face with a handkerchief she'd been given months ago as a gift from Kagome.
"I don't know what happened! She was fine a moment ago!" She felt Kagome's neck for a pulse with shaking fingers. "She just jumped."
"And this was why I didn't want her flying," he muttered, shifting his hold to pick her up off the ground.
"Inuyasha, there was no way to know she would react like that," Miroku reasoned.
"Not the point, monk!" He let out a ragged sigh. "Look, while she's out, let's put some distance behind us. I'll take her, you two on Kirara."
"You're sure that's wise?" Miroku asked him again.
He sent a merciless glare towards the monk, who put his hands up and climbed on behind Sango on Kirara's back.
He needed to hold her, and this was the perfect excuse. He'd set her down before she woke.
He might have been a needy bastard at the moment, but he'd respect her wishes.
But what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Right?
They took off, heading in the direction of Kaede and hopefully, some answers.
They managed to make it to nightfall. She was still sleeping, but there was a decent sized clearing that they could use to make dinner and camp for the night.
He stretched her out on the sleeping bag and let Sango wake her as he went to hunt.
He came back with two rabbits and a handful of fish. More than they needed, but he'd make Sango force feed her if necessary. Wench needed to eat something since she retched everything up a few hours ago. He wouldn't have her getting sick on his watch, not after what had nearly happened a few days ago. How close she'd come to death still made something in his gut churn and roll, and he tried desperately not to think about it.
She nibbled at everything put before her, and Sango nudged her to eat more until Kagome shook her head and refused. He watched her from where he sat at the edge of the trees.
"Do you need anything? Are you hurting?"
A quick shake of the head as an answer made him growl.
"I'm tired." Her voice was so small and fragile, like if he brushed his fingertips over the surface of her, she would break into a fine dust, never to be whole again.
"Of course!" Sango moved in a flurry, peeling back the sleeping bag and helping wrap her up inside.
Miroku remained silent, sipping on his tea.
Inuyasha watched Sango fret and felt the rising swell of a building snarl in his chest.
It should be him coddling her!
He blinked.
A force, a strong one at that, rallied him to go to her and wrap his body around hers, protecting her from the chill of the night air and anything that would dare threaten her well-being.
He shifted, popping his neck and trying to rein in the oppressing thoughts.
Sango laid her bedding next to Kagome's and a deep seated envy rose up at Sango being the one who would comfort her in the night.
He wanted to bodily throw her across the small campsite, so that she would be beside the one she should be laying next to. He suppressed a low snarl, staring at the two women.
He would run his claws against her scalp, soothing scratches through her hair, and the weight of his arm would be a relief, letting her know that he was there. That he would save her. He would protect her always.
She was his.
He blinked.
What the fuck was that?
A/N: Thanks for all the well wishes. I appreciate it. This is kind of like the second part to the previous chapter, but I didn't have the wherewithal to edit it last week, so you're getting it now.