Chapter 49
Ab intra
"From within"
"Adam was but human-this explains it all.
He did not want the apple for the apple's sake,
he wanted it only because it was forbidden.
The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent;
then he would have eaten the serpent."
—The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
Step One: Create a barrier. Done. Check. Whatever.
Step Two: Create a barrier that didn't collapse the moment anyone touched it or distracted her. Well, pending was a really nice word to use there, because she'd yet to make a barrier that could withstand anything at all.
She could form it, but the moment that she got distracted it collapsed, and she was starting to think she had ADHD at the rate that these barriers are falling apart.
She was riding on a high as they walked over to Inuyasha and Sango, Miroku showing her off like a proud parent.
"Sango! Inuyasha!" Miroku called, and both of them turned towards her. They'd been discussing something, and Inuyasha leapt to within a few inches in front of her. It didn't even phase her at all now.
"Did something happen?" Inuyasha asked, and she shook her head.
"Nothing bad," Kagome answered as Sango jogged up beside them.
"I really wish you would stop doing that. It's annoying to suddenly be talking to air."
"Move faster," Inuyasha countered. "So what's happening?"
"She did it!" Miroku cheered, a hand gently shaking her shoulder, and making Kagome smile just a bit. "She created a full and complete barrier."
Sango cheered, wrapping her up in a hug that knocked her back a step.
"I knew you could do it! Show me!"
Kagome looked over at Inuyasha, who had a look of being completely dumbstruck.
"Inuyasha?" She asked, and he shook his head as if clearing his thoughts before focusing on her again.
"Do it," he said, taking a step away from her. Sango slid the strap to Hiraikotsu over her shoulder as she waited for Kagome to produce her barrier.
Kagome focused on her reiki, drawing it out and pushing it into a small dome from her hands before she remembered that she'd pulled it from her chest instead last time. It rolled over her, and she opened her eyes, watching the bubble form around her body.
"Kagome, this is amazing!" Sango said, clapping her hands together.
Inuyasha lightly poked the pink bubble, and she didn't even feel it. There wasn't even a blip of his youki across her senses, which shouldn't be possible. It shouldn't. She should feel something, but she didn't.
Inuyasha shoved his entire hand through her barrier with no injuries. No burning or purification.
Miroku pressed his hand against the edge of her barrier, and it crumpled almost effortlessly under the strain. Kagome let out a breath at the release of her energy.
"See!" He said, turning to the others. "I told you she could do it!"
"Kagome, this is great! I'm so proud of you!"
Her cheeks flushed at the praise, and she didn't know how to react for once. She wasn't used to being good at this, and she picked at her nails, smiling at Sango and Miroku.
Inuyasha grabbed her hand, dragging it away before she could do any damage.
"Why doesn't my reiki burn you?" She asked him, grabbing onto his fingers before he could draw away.
"Dunno," he said, with a shrug. "We've already talked about this." He was annoyed, and she knew it, but this felt like something they should figure out the answer to. Kagome looked up at him, and he huffed.
"I'm just worried," she said, and he sighed. "I don't want something to be wrong." Her fingers drifted over his wrist as she tried to ground herself back in the present.
"Nothing is wrong, Kagome. We're all fine," he said, and she took a deep breath before nodding. "I need to go hunt," he said, squinting up at the sky above them. "You'll take her back," he asked Miroku, who nodded.
"She'll be safe with us," he pledged and Kagome rolled her eyes.
"I don't need a baby sitter."
Inuyasha turned and glared at her before looking at Sango, almost expectantly.
"We'll make sure she gets back okay," Sango said, looping an arm around Kagome's shoulders and guiding her back towards Kaede's hut. Inuyasha leapt off, and Kagome twisted to watch him go before Sango directed her back to the front.
"So tell me, what was Miroku doing wrong?"
Miroku scoffed as he walked on Kagome's other side.
"I am a perfectly good—well, adequate at least—teacher!"
Sango laughed, tucking her arm around Kagome's.
"So, Miroku—what was he doing wrong?"
Miroku muttered under her breath, and Kagome smiled.
"I don't think that it was just him, you know."
"Thank you!" He shouted loudly. "I'm glad someone has a modicum of faith in my abilities."
"It's only because they haven't met you," Sango quipped.
"Wow," Miroku said, slinging an arm around Kagome's shoulders. "Did you hear my future wife? It's almost like she has no faith in my abilities to provide for our twenty-six children."
"You're going to raise our twenty-six children," Sango countered. "And I'm going to go on hunts with Inuyasha."
"And what if Inuyasha doesn't want to go on hunts with you? What if he wants to be a house-husband with Kagome?"
Kagome choked on her breath.
"Don't put me in the middle of your lover's spat," she managed to choke out.
"Did you hear that, dearest Sango? We're having our first lover's spat!"
Sango deadpanned a look at him.
"You're not actually serious."
Miroku grinned.
"You're an idiot," Sango muttered, shaking her head.
"But I'm your idiot," Miroku sang.
"A regrettable decision," Sango sighed and Miroku laughed.
When they returned to the hut, Sango had pushed Kagome to tell her what she'd done that day, and Kaede clapped her hands together.
"Come child, show me what ye've accomplished!"
Kagome called forth her barrier much easier than she had previously, the reiki swirling out from her, fragile but there. Kaede marveled like a proud grandmother.
"It's beautiful, Kagome. I knew ye could do it."
The barrier fell without any pressure, and Kagome let out a long breath.
"Next we're going to work on making them stronger."
"That is child's play compared to creating them," Kaede said with a wave of her hand. "Ye are strong enough to create a barrier strong enough to repel any youkai."
Kagome gave her a weak smile, not explaining the issue with Inuyasha and his ability to pass unscathed through them. Kaede was so proud of her that she didn't want to ruin it.
"Are you feeling up to working on your barriers more today?" Miroku asked, as he took a bite of rice.
"Yeah, I think so," she answered, and Inuyasha raised an eyebrow at that. "What?" She took a bite of her own bowl of rice.
"Nothing," he said.
"Can I come with you?" Shippo asked. "Everyone got to see you do it but me!"
"You're more than welcome to come along, but all the reiki might bother you," Kagome answered as she scratched her nails through his hair.
"I can always leave though, right?"
"I suppose," she answered. "But I want you to leave right away if you don't feel good, okay?"
"I promise!" He said with a large grin on his face.
"Do you want to come with, Inuyasha?"
"The villagers have asked him to seek out some snakes they believe are lurking out by the paddies on the northern most part of town."
"You mean, the villagers asked you to send me on an errand," he grumbled as he finished off his bowl of rice.
"It's still good that they think well enough of you to ask you for help," Miroku pointed out. "Might bode well for the future."
"Keh, whatever." He shrugged, looking away from them.
Kagome lightly patted his thigh.
"It's a good thing, Inuyasha." He hmph-ed through his nose but didn't argue the point further. He smoothed his hand over hers for a moment before he stood.
"Kirara and I will come with you," Sango said. "Let me change."
She slipped into the storage room to change into her slayer's gear. She was only gone for a couple moments before she emerged fully dressed in her slayer's gear. Kirara trotted around her ankles, clearly happy to go out, before running circles around Kagome, rubbing her head against knees and elbows and letting her tail flick against Inuyasha.
Inuyasha rose to his knee, still holding onto Kagome's hand and squeezing it gently.
"Stay with Miroku and Shippo," he said quietly, and he leaned forward, towards her, like he was going to do something and then course corrected, stopping himself and standing abruptly.
"Yeah, sure," she said, keeping his gaze before he looked away, clearing his throat and heading for the door.
"Come on, Sango," he grumbled, pushing the mat aside.
"You sure you don't need another moment? I can make Miroku leave," Sango said, casting a sly smile at Kagome.
"Shut the fuck up, Sango. You can stay here if you're gonna blabber on like that."
"Have fun!" Kagome called after them, and Sango cast a wave through the doormat.
"We'll head out when you're done, so don't rush and finish. I'm going to go check on Kaede. Shippo, make sure she finishes her breakfast!" Miroku left quickly through the doorway.
Shippo popped a mock salute at him before climbing into her lap, his tail wrapping around his feet.
"Are you sure that you're going to be okay?"
He nodded enthusiastically.
"Yep!" He chirped while nudging her hand that held her chopsticks. "You heard Miroku; we can't leave until you're done!"
"I can be done now," she said, and he shook his head violently.
"No! All of it!"
"Are you going to be the food police now?"
"Puh-leese?" He said, tilting his head back to look at her.
"They're like," she had to think for a moment in how to explain it. "They're like watchmen for my town. They make sure that the bad guys are punished for their crimes and such."
"Oh," he scrunched up his nose. "And they make sure you eat all your food too?"
"No," she giggled. "That part was a joke, because you're not letting me leave before finishing all my breakfast."
His tail twitched as he thought about it for a second.
"I'll be your food police," he said after a moment, eyes alight. "That would make Inuyasha happy!" His tail almost wagged. "Then he wouldn't worry about you eating." Shippo nudged her hand to keep eating.
"He worries about me eating?" She asked before taking another bite.
Shippo nodded.
"Yeah, he's always watching to make sure that you eat enough, and he gets nervous when you don't." He frowned. "I don't like it either. You need to eat more, Kagome!"
"Okay, okay, I'm almost done."
She took the last couple bites and chewed briefly before she swallowed.
"I'll wash it!" Shippo shouted, taking her bowl before she could even move to do it.
"Alright then I'll go let Miroku know that we're ready."
"No!" Shippo shouted, looking between the bowl and the doorway before he let out a soft whine.
"Shippo, it'll be fine. He's not too far off with Kaede."
"But Inuyasha—"
"It'll be fine, Shippo." Kagome stood and headed towards the door, catching sight of the kitsune speed-cleaning her dishes.
Stepping out into the sunlight, she looked around for Miroku before hearing voices just behind the hut.
"Miroku?" Kagome called. His head peeked around the corner at her call, and he frowned with furrowed brows and everything.
"Where's Shippo?"
"Here!" The kitsune called, darting out of the hut and in front of Kagome's feet. Miroku turned back around to talk to Kaede, and then started towards them.
"Ready?" He asked, and Kagome nodded. Shippo tugged on her pant leg, holding his arms out to be picked up. Scooping him up easily, he sat in her arms as they walked with Miroku.
"Why didn't you just jump up?" She asked him. "You used to always do that."
Shippo looked away from her, focusing on the pocket on the front of her shirt, playing with the edge of it.
"You're not going to hurt me. I'm better now."
He scrunched up his little nose at her statement, shaking his head, tail twitching behind him. She tapped his nose, and he followed her finger.
"Shippo is just being careful," Miroku added after a moment, and Shippo eagerly nodded his assent.
Kagome didn't know how she felt about that, but Miroku's announcement that they had arrived interrupted her thoughts.
Shippo leapt down before running up the tree, perching himself on the lowest branch to watch.
"Alright," Miroku motioned for her to take a seat against the tree, before he continued. "You can create a barrier, now we're going to work on strengthening them." He sat down in front of her. "First things first, create a barrier."
Concentrating, she drew forth a barrier much easier and quicker than she had yesterday. She held it just around her form.
"Good, that was much better than yesterday. Now, I'm going to place my hand against it." He pressed his hand against the side of the barrier, and the instant he made contact, it snapped and recoiled.
"Why are they so weak?" She looked at her hands briefly before looking back up at him. "Everyone keeps saying that I've got so much raw power in me, so why is this so difficult?"
Miroku sighed.
"Try it again and hold it."
Another barrier simmered into view.
"Now, think of this like a building. You need structure and supports. A building with four only four posts and a few connecting boards is going to blow over the wind easily. But when you start adding in joists and support beams," he let his words drift off.
"The wind doesn't blow it over as easily."
He nodded.
"But how do I add them to a barrier?" The moment her focus shifted, the barrier crumbled, and she pouted in a huff.
"I'll tell you how I do it," he paused before continuing. "You try it, and if it doesn't work, then we'll try something else."
She nodded as Miroku pulled up his own barrier.
"Okay, touch the edges of it."
Kagome pressed her hand against it, watching it crumble.
He brought it up again almost effortlessly.
"So, I treat it just like I explained," Kagome watched as his barrier grew thicker—stronger—one layer at a time. "Shippo, toss a foxfire at me."
A blue flame struck the barrier evaporating or extinguishing on contact, but she noted that the barrier rippled as if absorbing the shock of it. Miroku let the barrier fall.
"See?" He said, taking a deep breath. "You have to push your reiki into it to build it up, so to speak. Now you try."
Kagome pulled another barrier out and then pushed more reiki into it.
"Not bigger!" Miroku shouted, and Shippo squeaked. Leaves sprinkled around her, and she looked up to see Shippo sitting several branches higher than where he was. The barrier fell, and both Miroku and Shippo exhaled in relief.
"Sorry Shippo!"
"It's okay, Kagome," he called, slowly lowering himself back to his original perch.
"Again, but watch it this time. No closing your eyes."
Kagome nodded, bring it up again, and pushing more reiki—slower this time—and watching it expand. She clenched her jaw. Stronger, not bigger. But each time she pushed out more reiki, the stupid thing only grew.
Okay, she needed to think this through. It was acting like a balloon. What she needed was supports. Girders. Buttresses. Joists. Screws. Nails. Walls. She needed to reinforce, not gain territory.
Slowly, she let more reiki leak into the small barrier. It was like the time she paper-mached that mask in elementary. The more layers she put on, the harder it was for those bullies to break it when they tried stomping on it.
Paper-mache.
Layers.
Reinforcement.
And then, there it was, the barrier was thicker—but not really—it looked the same, but it felt better, sturdier.
She blinked, and so did Miroku.
"Can I?" He asked, and she nodded. He pressed his hand against the edge, and it repelled him without snapping like a rubber band. However, the moment he put more force behind it, it snapped readily.
"It's a start!" He cheered. "Okay, try it again, but stronger this time."
Kagome took a deep breath and repeated the process. She pushed as much reiki as she could handle into her barrier, but she was struggling under the weight of it. Turns out the stronger the barrier, the harder it was to keep it up and in place. It faltered a few times, but she managed to recover it enough to keep it together.
Miroku placed his hand against it, and it held. Kagome let out a choked laugh, trying to maintain her focus. Miroku and Kaede always made it look so easy, but it really wasn't.
A sharp yelp came from behind her, and the barrier dropped immediately as she turned. Shippo had his finger stuck in his mouth and tears in the corners of his eyes.
"Shippo!" Kagome said, scooping him up and tugging his finger free of his mouth to examine the burn. "Why would you touch it? You know that reiki is going to burn you!" She wiped the tears away with the edge of her thumb. The burn wasn't bad, barely anything at all, and would be healed within the hour probably. But still!
"I wanted to see if you would notice," he sniffled.
An idea popped into her head. One that Miroku probably wasn't going to like, but that was his problem.
"Hey, do you wanna help me train?"
Shippo nodded enthusiastically, burned finger already forgotten.
"Kagome," Miroku started, already sensing danger.
But Kagome was already on her feet and hurrying away from the tree.
"Okay, I'm going to put up a barrier, and I want you to hit with your foxfire."
"Kagome, no!" Miroku scrambled to his feet, concern clearly on his face.
"What better way to train than with a real youkai?" She asked, and he started to speak before holding his tongue and she knew that he had no argument for it.
"I'm going to die before I ever get to marry Sango," Miroku bemoaned, throwing his hand over his face.
"No, you're not," Kagome waved him off dismissively. "Besides, it's Shippo. He's not really going to try to hurt me, are you?"
Shippo shook his head insistently.
"See," she said, setting him on the ground. "Nothing to worry about."
Miroku groaned as Kagome pulled up her barrier with a significant amount of focus and effort.
"Two times. You get two tries and then we're done."
"Ready, Shippo?" She said, ignoring Miroku's whimpering behind them.
"I'm gonna start small, okay, Kagome?"
She nodded, Shippo drew up a flame, easily she might add, throwing it at her feet.
The flame struck the barrier, and she felt it ripple against her, threatening collapse, but she pushed back, sending the youki to the sides rather than trying to let it take the blow directly.
"You did it!" Shippo cheered.
"I did it!" She clapped her hands, turning to face Miroku. "I did it!"
"You did," he said, hand over his face. "And I'm so happy for you, really, but—"
"Yes, yes, children, impending death, yada yada," she said with a wave. "Let's go again, Shippo! Bigger this time!"
"You take it so lightly," Miroku muttered behind her.
Shippo drew up a bigger handful of foxfire, but no where near the size he normally did, and threw it with another shout. The barrier shimmered, rippling again, but with another push of reiki, it held.
"Did you see that?" Kagome shouted, jumping in place. "Hit me with your best shot, Shippo!"
"I said twice. You've done it twice, so let's go back to Kaede and tell her the good—"
"Last time, I promise!" Kagome said, briefly turning her head towards Miroku and grinning at him.
"Last time, and then we go. It's getting late as it is."
"Okay, Shippo! Let me have it! I'm ready!"
She beefed up the barrier, pushing more of her reiki into it, wiping the sweat from her brow as she did.
"Here it comes, Kagome!" He wound up and let it fly at her. Kagome shifted, prepared for it to strike, but when it did, she wasn't prepared for the strike and then the subsequent deflection.
She hadn't let the attack roll off the sides as quickly as she should've, and the directly blow felt like it had cracked through her barrier, and now it was a matter of making sure that she didn't get burned by it. Sweat ran into her eye, and she felt herself struggling under the burden of redirecting where the attack was.
"Kagome?" Shippo asked.
"Deflect it!" Miroku shouted. "Send it to the side!"
She put her arms up in front of her face, and as the barrier slipped through her fingers, she managed to let the youki slide off to the side before she hit the ground. The hot flash of Shippo's foxfire blazing past her into the meadow beyond.
"Kagome!" Miroku shouted. "Shippo, put the fire out!"
"Got it!"
"Kagome! Kagome? Can you hear me? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Please don't be injured. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it!"
"I think I overdid it," she mumbled, hissing as Miroku grabbed her arm that was already hot and throbbing.
"Damn," he muttered. "We need to get you to the river and cool that off. Can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," she mumbled as Miroku hauled her up and guided her towards the nearest source of water. Stumbling over her own feet that weren't listening to her commands, Miroku was the only thing that kept her upright.
She was so tired, which didn't make a lot of sense. She'd been fine a few minutes ago. Was she really that weak?
Pathetic.
Miroku helped lower her down to the edge of the bank, setting her arm in the water. After a moment, she opted to stretch herself out, letting her arm drape in the river and feeling the cool current brush against her burned skin.
It didn't even look that bad when she twisted her arm around in the water to look at it. Just a little red. And sore. Tender, really. The chill of the river was soothing the burn already. It would probably be fine.
"Kagome?" Shippo asked, and she tilted her head to look at him, resting it on her other arm. His little lip trembled, and he sniffled so hard that his head tilted backwards. "I'm really, really sorry!" He wailed. "I didn't mean to actually hit you! You said to use everything I had, and I didn't mean it!"
Kagome drew her hand out of the water to hug him, but Miroku was fast, and thrust it back under the current.
"Keep that there, while I figure something out." He sounded frantic.
"Is something wrong?" She asked, as she tried to look over her shoulder at him, while Shippo was crying on her other shoulder.
"Nope!" He answered quickly, too quickly actually, but Kagome let her head rest back on her other arm as Shippo curled up against her. She let her eyes drift closed, and Miroku was shaking her shoulder. "No sleeping. Not until I figure out what to do."
"About what?" She mumbled.
"This!" He let out a low groan, and she recognized the sound of his hand slapping over his face in frustration. It was a sound that she'd heard often enough the past few days. "Okay, Shippo?"
"Yeah?" He sniffled, head raising up from where Kagome had been mindlessly scratching his scalp, almost like sleepwalking at this point.
"I need to you to do something very important for me," Shippo let out a small whine, "it's for Kagome too," Miroku tacked on quickly. "I need you to go find Inuyasha and—I can't emphasize this enough—very calmly ask him to come here. Do not tell him what happened. I will explain everything." There was a pause. "Do you understand?"
"Yeah," Shippo answered quietly.
"Okay, now calmly go get Inuyasha."
Shippo sprinted off, and Kagome nestled her head back on her arm. The sunlight was a nice warm contrast to the cool river swirling around her arm and she let it dangle over the edge.
She let out a soft sigh and drifted off.
A/N: So it just occurred to me that I'm about to hit chapter 50 for this ridiculous thing. Like five-zero, fifty. That's just mind-boggling to me. Especially since we're maybe halfway done? Actually, we might not be halfway yet. Well, maybe. I don't know anymore. The only thing I do know is that my ability to stick to outlines is non-existent. So we're just gonna go ahead and roll with whatever at this point.