Chapter 53
Animus risu novatur
"The spirit is refreshed with laughter"

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."
—The Importance of Being Earnest

Kagome finished off her breakfast or lunch, whatever it might be considered at this point, but then she let Shippo climb off her lap and together they headed outside to find Inuyasha, which was surprisingly not as easy as she thought it would be.

"Oh! Kagome!" Sango called, and Kagome turned towards her friend as she jogged up with Kirara bouncing behind her. "I was actually just coming to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. Just a little bit of a headache."

"Did you take Kaede's medicine?" Sango asked, stepping around behind her to look at her head.

"Yeah. It helped, but I think this is just residual now."

"Kagome," Shippo whined, eyes darting towards Sango.

"We were a little worried when Inuyasha came back last night. What happened?"

Kagome licked her lips as she tried to figure out how to answer that statement.

"Can we go on a walk?"

Sango stared for a heartbeat before smiling.

"Of course," she said. "We can go this way."

Kagome followed beside her, crossing her arms over her chest, and walking in quiet next to Sango, who remained quiet as well. But she knew that she would have to talk eventually.

Surprisingly, Shippo had opted to not follow them while they walked.

"So," Kagome started, fidgeting to pick at a rough spot on her nails. "About last night."

Sango said nothing, just listening, and Kagome really wished that she would say something at least so it didn't feel like some weird confessional monologue.

Sango grabbed her hand, holding it in hers as they wandered towards the meadows.

"I've been thinking about what you said." At this Sango looked at her, head tilted slightly and her confusion was obvious. "You know, about the right things the wrong way."

"Oh," was all she said.

"Yeah, so I went out to see if I could try making a barrier again."

"By yourself?!" Sango shouted, jerking them both to a stop.

Ah, there it is.

"Kagome! You know how dangerous that is! Why would you do that?"

"I—I know," she stammered, urging them to keep moving.

"So why?"

Kagome winced, knowing that it wasn't going to get better.

"Because I couldn't sleep."

Sango didn't say anything for a hot minute, but Kagome could feel the temperature change in the air.

Maybe Shippo had the right idea in not following them. This wasn't going to be pretty, and Kagome had a feeling she wasn't coming out of this unscathed.

"You couldn't sleep," Sango repeated, calmly and almost monotonous. "So you decided that you would go outside—alone—and do what exactly?"

"I told you, I was practicing making barriers."

"And you couldn't wake someone?"

Kagome didn't have an answer for that, because the only answer wasn't going to make things any better either.

"Kagome," Sango stopped them again. "Why didn't you wake anyone?"

"I—" She started, but cut herself off, because she didn't have a good reason. "It's dumb."

"And? What is the dumb reason?"

Kagome didn't want to tell her; she didn't want to tell anyone actually.

"I thought it would be better if I went out on my own."

"Why?"

Kagome huffed, looking away.

"Kagome, you understand why I'm upset, right?" Sango grabbed her free hand in hers, holding both of them together and staring at Kagome's face.

"I know that it was dumb. I was just trying to be better."

"You don't need to be better!"

"Yes! I do!" She tried to pull her hands away, but Sango held fast in her grip. She wasn't going to let Kagome escape. Not this time.

"Why?"

"Because we would be out there if I was better at—at—at doing this!"

"Kagome, no," Sango shook her head. "How could you think that?"

"If I was better at everything, then none of this wouldn't have happened! I wouldn't have fallen off that cliff and they—and none of this would have happened!"

"Kagome, that's not—that's not true at all."

"I don't know how to fight," she continued, already feeling the tears rolling across her hot face. "I don't know how to use my reiki!"

"Kagome, stop!" Sango wrapped her up in a hug, as Kagome clung to her. "You don't need to know how to fight, that's what I'm here for. That's what Inuyasha is for. He would actually probably be happier if you didn't fight at all." Kagome sniffled. "And you've never had to know how to use your reiki before. It's a learning process. You've grown so much already."

Kagome rested her chin on Sango's shoulder.

"Don't put yourself down so much," she chided, pushing Kagome away to hold her at arm's length. Staring at her face intently, Kagome nodded to appease her, but she didn't really believe in it. Sango shook her slightly. "Don't, okay? No one here thinks that you're useless or weak or any other lies that you've been telling yourself." She let go of Kagome to wipe the tear tracks on her cheek. "Better?"

Kagome nodded, and Sango finally smiled.

"Good. Now," Sango said, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her close to her side. "I love you. Shippo loves you. Miroku loves you. Inuyasha loves you," Kagome snorted at that, but Sango continued with a snide glare in her direction, "in his own misguided way, but he loves you too none the less. You get where I'm going with this?"

"I think so."

"We all love you, and that will never change. Ever."

"Okay, I get it." She let out a small laugh, and Sango gave her a small smile before tugging her along as they walked.

"Do you want to go for a visit to the hot spring? It's been a few days."

"I'm pretty sure that Inuyasha would throw a fit if I left without telling him."

"You are not fucking leaving," Inuyasha said, landing behind them, scowling furiously at Sango.

"A bath in some hot water would probably help."

Inuyasha let out a low growl, slipping in between her and Sango. He stood between the two of them, clearly attempting to intimidate Sango.

"What?" Sango snapped, eyes narrowing at him. "Use your words, Inuyasha. I don't speak dog."

He let loose another low growl, spinning on his heel to wrap an arm around Kagome's shoulders and drag her away.

"Hey!" Sango shouted after him. "We weren't done!"

"You're fucking done now!" He snapped over his shoulder as he pulled her away. Kagome tried to stop him, but that was impossible. So she darted a step in front of him instead, and that made him pause.

"Inuyasha, you heard me say that I wouldn't leave without telling you," she explained. "I wouldn't do that to you."

His eyes shifted away from her, and she quickly ducked into his line of view again.

"I won't leave without telling someone again, okay?" Her hand found his, hidden in the expanse of red fabric, and she felt the tension seep out of his frame.

"You better not," he grumbled, glancing at her. His upset was fading some. Not completely but some.

"I won't," she promised. "That being said, a soak would feel good."

"No." He snapped quickly, glaring at her. "You just said—"

"That I wouldn't leave without telling someone, and you're someone, so it's fine."

"It's not fine."

"Ugh, I guess I'll just be miserable then," she grumbled, pulling her hand away from his. His hand snapped forward, grabbing hers, and Kagome watched as his eyes shifted wildly from panic to fear and back to something else she couldn't place.

"You can go. Just let me run a perimeter around the spring first."

Sango groaned behind him.

"You're going to stay the entire time, aren't you?"

He turned towards her with a scowl on his face.

"What of it?"

Sango leaned her head back and let out a guttural groan.

"Ain't like I'm gonna sneak a peek like someone else."

"Not the point, Inuyasha. Besides you owe us for what happened yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" Kagome asked, glancing between the two currently shooting death glares at each other. Well, not so much death glares at the moment. Sango looked overly smug, and Inuyasha's face was currently trying to maintain itself, but failing in the presence of panic on his face. "What happened yesterday?" She repeated.

Sango crossed her arms in front of her, and Inuyasha shifted to stand in front of her, completely blocking Kagome's view of anything else.

"I'm an asshole! You know that!"

"Oookay," Kagome drawled, trying to put the pieces together. "Still doesn't explain what happened yesterday."

"Okay, fine! You can both go! I'll just—"

"Stay here and let us have a normal undisturbed bath?" Sango finished, and Inuyasha turned just enough to glare at her. Sango merely raised an eyebrow at him.

"I still don't understand—"

"Fine!" Inuyasha snapped, throwing his head back to stare at the sky. "Fucking fine! Happy?"

"Giddy," Sango pointed out, and he snapped his head to glare at her. Sango stepped forward, and Inuyasha quickly looped his own arm around Kagome's shoulders.

"I'll walk her back."

Sango sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Fine. I'll get the bag ready. Don't take long."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He scoffed as she walked past.

"Inuyasha," she asked, and she saw the blush on his cheeks. He was thisclose to shutting down completely, and she knew it. "Thank you for letting me go."

"Whatever, ain't like I could keep you here if I wanted to," he grumbled but didn't pull his arm away from her.

"Still, it's nice not fighting with you about it."

She could feel the tension in his arm lessen, and it draped more around her rather than holding her firmly against him. Taking the initiative, she paused, and he stopped a moment later, starting to withdraw his arm from her. She quickly hugged him tightly around the middle, startling him.

"I really am sorry about sneaking out and worrying you so much," she told him, feeling his arm slowly wrap back around her shoulders. "I know that you're still probably angry about it, and I don't blame you. I'd be upset too." She squeezed his middle, and he rested his cheek on her head, letting out a long, slow exhale.

"I wasn't that worried," he muttered.

"Sure, dog boy."

He snorted at that before squeezing her slightly. Seriously, Inuyasha gave the absolute best hugs, hands down. How could anyone not feel completely and totally safe like this? She could stay like this for hours.

"You'll still sit with me for a little bit when we get back, right?"

He nodded his head, never lifting it from hers.

She hummed giving him a slight squeeze.

"Walk back with me?" She asked, and he huffed a bit before letting go and feeling the length of his fingers and claws drift down her arm all the way to her hand, where she grabbed it in hers, just in case he hadn't been planning on it, she'd improvise.

She'd been wanting to ask him for ages if she could move her bed next to him, but she wasn't sure just how to ask that question.

But maybe she'd feel braver after a bath and a conversation with Sango.

She doubted that too, but her fingers brushed along the length of his palm as they walked back to Kaede's hut. Kagome held tight to his hand as they entered into the village; she needed the reassurance of his touch and him to know that she was serious when she said she didn't care.

A few of the villagers paused in their walks to stare at them as they passed before continuing their conversations, and Kagome tried real hard to not let it bother her. Except that it did.

She chanced a look up at Inuyasha, who was scowling and blushing brightly across his entire face and refusing to look at her.

So whatever it was, it wasn't too bad, just embarrassing. At least to him.

"Are they saying bad things?" Kagome asked him, and she noted his ears had turned towards her the moment she spoke.

He scowled harder than before.

"No, just weird."

"Like what?" She asked, squeezing his hand, which seemed to make him blush harder.

"Just—nothing. Don't worry about it."

She giggled as his face looked like it would burst into flames at any moment. He turned towards her half-scowling but completely insincere about it.

By that time, they'd already reached Kaede's hut, and Kagome felt like she'd made it through a gauntlet complete unscathed. Sango watched them approach, glancing between the two of them.

"What's got you all hot and bothered?" She asked him, and he jerked his hand away, and pointed an accusatory finger at Sango.

"Why do you smell like the monk?!"

"I don't—we—we weren't—it's not—!" Sango made a strange noise in the back of her throat as her face became an uncomfortable shade of red.

Glancing at Inuyasha, she saw a smug look of satisfaction on his face increased by the predatory grin crossing his features.

"You sure about that?" He prodded. "Smells like—"

"If you finish that sentence, I will make you into a rug and present it to your brother!"

"Such violence, my love," Miroku said, walking up towards the hut.

"Say Miroku," Inuyasha started, ducking away as Sango's fist barely missed his jaw.

Miroku moved to stand beside Kagome, dragging her back a step as Sango lunged for Inuyasha again, barely missing as he leapt just out of her reach.

"Get back here!"

"Tell that to the monk!"

Kagome watched Sango visibly bristle at Inuyasha's goading.

"Any idea what started this?" Miroku asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. I'm pretty sure that Inuyasha started it though."

"That's not surprising," Miroku commented.

"And Sango didn't take the teasing well."

"Also not surprising."

"I'm going to throttle you!" Sango shouted.

Kagome didn't catch what he'd said, but Sango's face grew a brighter shade of red, and her volleys became fiercer.

"We should probably break them up before someone gets hurt," Kagome suggested.

"Probably," Miroku agreed with a subtle nod of his head.

Kagome turned to look at him.

"You want me to do it, don't you?"

"Well, since you're offering," he said, gesturing to their two friends currently punching and dodging each other.

Kagome stepped towards them, before realizing that plan was probably bad.

"Inuyasha?" She asked, and he paused, glancing in her direction before leaping back a step as Sango lunged for him again. In another leap, he was in front of her, barely breathing any heavier than normal.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I just really want to go take a bath."

His ears flattened against his head, and he glanced back at Sango, who was still glaring at him from where she stood. Kagome patted his arm to soothe him.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

The ears flattened farther down into his hair, and she felt bad about leaving, knowing that he didn't want her to go. It was like watching those animal shelter videos with the sad music; Kagome always had to change the channel, because she'd donate her entire allowance just to stop the sad eyes.

"Come on, Kagome," Sango called.

"Coming!"

Kirara watched her approach, and Kagome expected Sango to extend a hand, but she didn't.

Two hands grabbed her waist and hoisted her up onto Kirara's back, and once situated, Kagome looked down at the pink crossing the bridge of Inuyasha's nose.

"Don't be long," he said, glancing between the two of them. Kagome leaned slightly and tweaked one of his ears as she gave him a half-smile before returning her arms to Sango's waist. There was a subtle shift and then Kirara was airborne.

"I swear, he gets more irritating every day." Sango glanced over her shoulder at Kagome. "Can you believe what he did back there?"

"Uh, you mean when you tried to punch him first?"

Sango didn't answer with words, opting to continue glaring over her shoulder.

"You know, if you make that face for too long, it'll stay that way."

Sango turned back to the front, and Kagome decided to allow her friend a reprieve.

"Holy shit, Kagome!" Sango stared at her stomach as she stripped off her clothes to prepare to climb into the hot springs.

She looked down, wincing at the black bruise that was currently spreading out across her midsection.

"Huh," she muttered, staring at it. That looked like it should hurt way more than it did. And now that she knew it was there it would probably start hurting more.

Great.

Sango moved around to look at her back, pushing her hair out of the way.

The silence was deafening.

"How bad is it?"

"About as bad as the front." Sango let her hair fall back against her, moving towards the spring. "Come on, let's get you soaking and hopefully that will help."

Kagome climbed in after her friend, lowering herself into the water gingerly.

"I guess that explains why Inuyasha was so clingy."

"He hasn't been clingy," Kagome commented, and Sango looked up from where she was about to dunk herself under with a raised eyebrow. "What? He hasn't!"

Sango opted to disappear under the water to scrub at her hair first.

Kagome opted to do the same, feeling some of the dirt and grime begin to release from her scalp and skin.

While they began lathering their hair, Kagome glanced over at Sango, hesitating for just a moment.

"So why does Inuyasha think you smell like Miroku?"

Sango squeaked and then ducked under the water so fast, she literally made a wave.

Well, that meant something.

Kagome watched and waited as Sango finally breached the surface of the water.

"Sooo," Kagome started again, watching Sango grow so furiously red that she was genuinely afraid that she was going to pass out from the heat. "You know I don't care what you do right?"

"I know," Sango muttered, starting to run the conditioner through her long hair. Kagome's had thinned considerably from, well, everything. Stress was probably a good cause of that too.

Kagome finally ducked her head under the water, while Sango ruminated quietly on her own issues. Scrubbing her hair clean of soap, she rose up to sit back on her rock and apply conditioner to her own hair.

"We haven't done anything," Sango finally admitted. "Well, nothing like, you know." Sango winced. "Sorry, we don't have to talk about this at all if it makes you uncomfortable."

"It's okay, Sango, really. I promise it is. It actually feels kinda normal." Kagome smiled at her. "It's a nice feeling."

"It is, isn't it?" Sango smiled with her, and they sat in quiet for a while.

"Have you two kissed?" She asked suddenly, making Sango jump slightly.

"Have you?"

"Why would I kiss Inuyasha?"

"Kagome, you love him," Sango pointed out, and she groaned.

"You don't have to remind me."

"And Inuyasha loves—"

"Kikyo," Kagome finished for her. "I know that he loves me like a friend, but at the end of it, he's going to be with her." She took a deep breath. "And that's okay, I'm glad that he has someone and friends," her breath hitched as she spoke, "who love him for who he is. That's more than he had before."

Sango stared at her in silence before shaking her head.

"Besides you didn't answer my question."

"Fine, we kissed!" Sango practically shouted as her hands covered her flaming cheeks.

Kagome squealed loudly enough that Kirara rose her head up from the ground, flickering an ear at her.

"Tell me about it! Was it your first one?"

"Uh, no?" Sango started, blushing furiously.

"Wait, you've kissed before?! And you didn't tell me?!"

"Well, it was after you came back from your time, and you didn't want to see me, and then when you did, it didn't feel like something that I should be talking about."

"Oh," was all that she could say.

"I did want to talk to you about it though!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize—" Her voice drifted off because Sango had wanted to tell her about it, and Kagome had made her feel like it wasn't important.

She was really selfish, wasn't she?

"It's fine, really! There was so much going on, and we were just happy to have you back and then the curse—" Sango's own words were cut off, and she reached out her hand to gently touch Kagome on the shoulder. "But we're here now, right?"

"Right." Kagome gave her a nod and a smile. "So tell me about the first time."

"Well," Sango's face continued to blush and Kagome wasn't sure if that was ever really going to go away. "This is embarrassing, but it was the night before we broke the curse. I couldn't sleep, and I went for a walk and Miroku followed me out, because he couldn't sleep either."

The night before the curse—that'd been the night that she and Inuyasha had reconciled too.

No wonder no one heard anything.

"And then he was just there," Sango continued, and Kagome struggled to refocus on what her friend was saying about what was probably her first kiss. "And he just leaned down and kissed me."

"Aw! That's so sweet!"

"I should've been there with you though," Sango added, and Kagome shook her head.

"No, there wasn't anything that you could've done," Kagome cleared her throat. "So what was different about today?"

"Uh," Sango cleared her own throat several times. "We were—uh—a lot—um—closer this time."

"Did you make out with Miroku?"

"I'm not—I mean—maybe?"

Kagome squealed again and giggled like the schoolgirl she was.

Sango splashed her.

"Stop!" Sango shouted, laughing. "And don't say a word to anyone!"

"Fine! Fine!" Kagome shielded her face with her hands. "I won't tell a soul! Promise!"

"You better not," Sango said, looking up at the sky.

"Are you ready to get out on the road?" Kagome asked.

"It'll be good to get out there again. There's only so much sparring that I can handle. I need a break. Do you think that Inuyasha'll be ready to go?"

"Well, I made a barrier, and he said that we could leave when I did that," she shrugged, "I mean, it's not much, but it's something."

"But didn't you purify the youkai last night?"

Kagome blinked at her.

"I thought Inuyasha killed it."

"He told Miroku that your barrier purified—wait, he didn't tell you?"

Kagome shook her head.

Her barrier had purified a youkai. Her barrier. Hers. It had been strong enough to take out a full-grown youkai. Granted, it was probably already weak, but still—she'd managed to do it. She'd defended herself!

On her own nonetheless!

"I did it?" She whispered, wet hands reaching up to her face.

"I can't believe that he wouldn't tell you!"

"But I did it?" Kagome asked again. She needed to know, needed to be sure.

Sango nodded, and Kagome felt the grin spread across her face.

"I did it." She felt her eyes begin to water as glee spread up through her entire body. "I did it!" She laughed.

"You did it!" Sango laughed with her for a long time as they celebrated Kagome's crowning achievement in not only making a barrier, but one that could stop a youkai—even for just a moment, before deciding to finish bathing and head back to the village.

A/N: So for those who might not have seen, I ran into a, uh, small issue with my thyroid meds in that I kinda overdosed last week, and it's taken me almost a week off my medication to get it to lower to a level that didn't give me severe tachycardia. What we can't figure out is why, since the dose I was taking was actually lower than what I'd been taking prior to that. So that's been a fun week (not really). But it seems to be better now and we're going to hope that it stays that way.

I hope that you guys sincerely enjoyed the chapter and MirSan there at the end. Let me know what you think!