Chapter 67
Advocatus diaboli
"Devil's Advocate"

"You weren't selfish.
You need to be among your own kind.
Quite understandable.
It's just harder out there in the world of the living,
and we cannot protect you out there as easily.
I wanted to keep you perfectly safe, . . .
But there is only one perfectly safe place for your kind
and you will not reach it until all your adventures
are over and none of them matter any longer."
—The Graveyard Book

Well, fuck him.

And fuck everyone that thinks they know what he wants.

And fuck them extra for being right.

Because it did make him feel better to run a perimeter and make sure that they were safe out here.

Especially since sleeping in trees had been removed as an option. Until further notice.

You know, fuck it. He'd never sleep in a tree again if Kagome was there.

Inuyasha was loathe to admit it. But fuck him if he didn't like touching.

And then, like an idiot, he'd leaned in like he had the right to—to do that!

And Sango knew.

He knew she knew.

And she knew that he knew she knew.

He'd just gotten caught up in everything.

He was stressed. It had been a very stressful few days, and he was just—you know—tired. And he'd just forgotten. That's all.

Besides it wasn't as if the monk knew.

Yet.

He'd bet a cup of ramen that she'd blurt it out the moment they were alone.

So he'd just have to—what was the word Souta used?—oh yeah—cockblock the two of them. Maybe use Shippo as collateral damage.

He caught up with Miroku and Shippo as the monk was putting up the another couple of wards, and paused in a tree branch overhead, the sudden stop of his weight sending a small flurry of leaves falling down on the two of them.

"Thank you for that," Miroku muttered.

"How much longer?" Inuyasha asked, looking around at the surrounding trees.

"We've got a couple more spots," Miroku answered, holding up his ofuda. "We will need to stop and get some paper soon, so I can make more. My stores are going to be low before much longer."

"You said that there was a village not to far from here."

"Yes. Assuming that they have the proper supplies," Miroku said as he continued walking his perimeter. "But if not, we may have to detour to Mushin's."

Mushin's would be safe through. And they would be welcome. All of them. And he had multiple rooms, so there could be more sleeping, which he was definitely not opposed to. Especially if someone else was involved.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad plan after all.

"If the village doesn't have what we need, then we'll head that way," he said before leaping off into the branches to finish up his rounds and return to Kagome.

Much to his chagrin, there was nothing around here. Good news, nothing to worry about, but also nothing for him to fight.

He dropped down onto the ground, walking over to the girls, who looked over their shoulders at him.

"How'd it go?" Sango asked, as he moved to stand behind Kagome.

"Nothing nearby," he said with a shrug.

"Miroku and Shippo?" Kagome asked, shifting a little on the rock to face him. Her feet were already soaking.

"Finishing up," he said, kneeling down beside her. "How're you doing?" He made a quick motion of the fingers towards her ankle.

"The water feels good. Can we get in yet?"

"As soon as those two finish," he said with a nod towards where they'd been heading when he last saw them. She gave him a timid smile, and he shifted so that his knee was behind her, allowing her to lean back against him.

Sango very quietly stood up.

"Sango?" Kagome asked, looking over at her.

"I'm going to go check on Miroku since you're here," she said, dusting off her skirt and giving them a small smile. "See if he needs any help," she said, waving to them before walking off.

"You think she's okay?" Kagome said, shifting her legs in the water as she leaned back against his leg. The pressure of her body against his own was—relieving in a way. She was physical. Tangible. She was here and with him.

He let out a long exhale, leaning forward so he could look at her—discreetly of course.

"She's fine," he answered with a dismissive wave.

"I think it's sweet," she said after a long pause, her fingers tracing her knuckles. It was something to keep her mind busy, but it wasn't the normal nervous destructive tick of pulling and picking. "They really love each other, you know?"

"Don't know why," he muttered, and she giggled.

He watched her face, adoring how her eyes crinkled slightly and her smile made everything lighter—brighter. It made the world seem not as heavy—not as shitty.

"It's good though. I'm glad that they're happy. They deserve to be happy after everything." She looked down at the water, smile fading.

"You do too," he said softly, fingers itching to reach out to touch hers.

She turned her head back towards him, giving a slight smile but it wasn't the same as before.

Did she—did she not think that she deserved to be happy?

He scowled, watching her face as she turned back towards the water.

How could she not think that she deserved happiness? Her of all people?

"We're back!" Sango called as she stepped into the small clearing and preventing him from pursuing her statement any further.

"Inuyasha, Shippo, and I will sit off in the trees and prepare for lunch," Miroku said.

"But—" Shippo started.

"You're coming with us, runt," Inuyasha said, rising to his feet, pausing to make sure that Kagome was steady before he took away his leg from bracing her back. She leaned forward slightly. "You okay?"

She gave him a nod and flashed a smile, turning away from him and back towards Sango. He looked up over at Sango.

"Call when you're done," he told her.

"Of course," Sango answered, and he took a step back, waiting to see if Kagome needed him to stay. But she only looked up at him, giving him a small nod.

She was okay.

He should've been proud. She was so much better than before. She was coping with everything. He'd been afraid that all her hard work would be undone, and she'd be like before. Hiding from everything, even him. But she seemed okay.

But would it be wrong to admit that he liked that she'd needed him?

He took another step back, waiting for just a half second, before he turned away slowly and headed for the trees.

He—he should be happy that she was better—that she didn't need him as much. He wanted her to be back to normal. He wanted to see her smile and feel free.

But there was that sneaky possessive side of him that still wanted the touching and the cuddling. And that asshole liked to rear his head at very inappropriate times.

He could still hear them clearly enough, which was good. He'd know if she needed him or if Sango was being too pushy.

"I think this will do," Miroku said after pausing in a small clearing. "I can prep the fire if you'd like to get some firewood? Or would you rather stay here?"

"I can go," he mumbled, turning to start scouting for wood that would burn cleanly.

"Shippo, stay here, would you?" Miroku asked. The kit made a noise but Miroku cut him off. "I may need your help."

There was a soft grumbling behind him as he continued to shuffle around the trees picking up sticks.

"How're you doing?" Sango asked. "Nothing's hurting?"

"The hot water stings a bit," Kagome answered. "But it's getting better the longer I'm in here."

"Well, that's good." There's some water splashing or sloshing, and the sharp sound of Kagome's hiss that made him turn towards the pool, even though he couldn't see it. His body waiting on the command to move.

"I should probably move slower," Kagome said, and there was some slight splashing.

"Here, prop up your ankle," Sango said, and more sloshing followed.

It was quiet for a bit between them, the sound of splashing and mumbled requests for different things from their bath bag.

He continued picking up sticks as he listened to the girls do whatever it was they did in the hot water.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sango asked.

"I guess."

"It's something that's been bugging me, and I can't quite figure it out," Sango started. "How did Inuyasha change back?"

Inuyasha stopped moving, because this was a question that he also wanted the answer to. He'd woken up to find himself laying against an injured Kagome, but she hadn't said anything about what changed him back. He definitely didn't have the Tetsusaiga, and it hadn't even occurred to him that he didn't have it until Miroku showed up with it.

Maybe Kagome sat him? That had worked in the past, but it hadn't recently. It had always been Tetsusaiga.

"W—What do you mean?" Kagome asked, and he could hear the tremor in her voice.

"He was full demon when he ran off. Was he still a full demon when he found you?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "He was still a full demon."

"So how did he change back?"

"I don't know," she said after a long moment. "He kinda just collapsed, and when he woke up, he was himself again."

"But how did he change back without Tetsusaiga?"

He could almost visualize the shrug of Kagome's shoulders, but he started back towards Miroku with his current haul of twigs and sticks.

"I don't know. He attacked an oni that was about to step on me though."

"An oni! When was this?!"

"Yeah, when I fell down the ravine, there was an oni there. I managed to get up a barrier and partially purify him, but I wasn't strong enough to beat him."

"You're plenty strong enough! You'd been through hell at that point, so it's no wonder that you couldn't do it." Sango sighed, almost sounding exasperated. "So he attacked the oni?"

There was a soft hum of agreement.

"He killed it, and then came over to me and just sorta sat there, staring. He let me touch his face."

"He didn't try to hurt you?"

"No, not at all. Just rubbed his face against me, and then he asked if he was safe."

"He talked?" Sango asked.

Inuyasha dumped the sticks on the ground next to the stone circle.

"Hey!" Shippo stated.

"Let it go, Shippo," Miroku mumbled as Inuyasha strolled over to a tree and sat down at its base, ears keenly listening to the conversation happening slightly farther away than he would've liked.

"Yeah, he just said 'Safe.' Oh! And then he licked me. That was weird."

"Rinse," Sango ordered, and then it was quiet for a bit.

He'd licked her?

And he'd spoken?

He hadn't done that since he first transformed.

The speaking, not the licking.

Why the fuck would he lick her?

What was he going to do next? Hike his leg and piss on things? Chase sticks?

He didn't have much, but he did have some amount of decorum and dignity. Mostly the latter.

Well, at least, they'd never said that he'd done that, but they were also pretty adamant on getting him back to himself as quickly as possible that maybe he didn't have time to speak?

He shook his head. It didn't matter at the end of it.

"Did that hurt at all? I was trying to be careful" Sango asked suddenly, drawing his attention back to their conversation.

"A little. Do you think we need to do it again?"

"No, it looks pretty clean. Here." There was a brief pause as she and Kagome did something. "Do you want to talk about Kouga?"

Inuyasha's head snapped towards the pool, and if he had hackles, they would've been on end.

"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked, and he barely cut a side eye at him. "You're growling. Quite loudly."

Reeling himself back in, he tried to quiet himself down enough to listen carefully to what the girls were saying.

But Kagome hadn't answered her at all.

She was probably picking at her nails, and Sango wasn't watching her because she was probably bathing.

Why wasn't she watching her?

"Kagome, you really should talk about it. I—Last time, you didn't, and that didn't work out well—for anyone."

"I know," the words were soft and quiet.

"Would you rather talk about this with Inuyasha here?"

"No!" Kagome snapped out, and his ears flicked backwards at how much she didn't want him to hear anything about it. She'd already told him more than what they'd told her. "He'll just be even more angry than he already is."

"He's not angry with you, you know that, right?"

"I—yeah, I just don't want to upset him more than he already is."

What the fuck?

What the actual fuck?

She's just going to keep all that shit bottled up to save his emotions? Oh, fuck that. Fuck that sideways.

"Kagome," Sango chided.

"You're growling again," Miroku pointed out.

"Fuck you!"

"If Inuyasha heard you say that," Sango continued, "that would make him upset. He would want you to talk with someone. No matter how it made them feel."

Okay, maybe Sango had half a clue about these things.

"Is it me? Do you want to talk with someone else?"

"No, it's not that," Kagome moaned. "I—It's just—I feel bad!"

What?"

"About what?"

"Sango, I—I nearly purified him! And then—then—then I just left him there." He could hear the watery tone her voice was taking, and he gripped the fabric of his hakama in his fists. "He tried so hard. So hard to help me, even when—he practically bashed his head open to stop himself, and I just left him there."

"What made you decide that you had to purify him?"

Oh, this was going to end terribly. His claws were digging into his forearms, not cutting into himself yet, but he was dangerously close to it.

There was utter silence on Kagome's side, and he could practically see her mouth opening and closing as she tried to answer the question without causing more people to pry.

He rose to his feet, pacing in the small space between the nearest trees.

She mumbled something, but he couldn't quite make it out before there was the sharp sound of her sob.

Sango cooed something to her.

Fuck. He should be there. She needed him. His hands clenched until he felt the sharp pang of his claws into his palms.

"What are they saying?" Miroku asked.

"Shut it!" He snapped back, ears straining as he tried to repress the urge to flatten them back against his hair as she continued to cry softly.

"I left him. He's my friend, and I just left him there!"

"It sounds more like he wanted you to leave him. He's probably glad you did it. I don't think—I think that Kouga would be far more upset if you'd let him—" Her words drifted off, and Kagome sniffled loudly.

"I know," Kagome moaned, and he could envision how she was wiping her cheeks roughly with her hands. She always pressed too hard, pinking her skin with the friction. "Do you think that we should go see if he's okay?"

Oh, if Sango agreed—he wasn't entirely sure what he would do about it, but there would—probably—be violence.

Definitely violence.

"I think—Kouga is a youkai. He'll recover. Probably quicker than some of us would like—"

"But Sango, he was just laying there—"

"I know," Sango reassured her. "I know, but we can't risk this happening to you again. When we meet Kouga again, we need to be prepared, and you need to be at full health and mobility when we do."

"But—"

"I doubt that Ginta and Hakkaku were far behind him," Sango interrupted, "and we're not ready to deal with someone as fast as he is."

"You're sure that he's okay?" Kagome asked softly.

"Yeah, Kouga's tough—and super stubborn." There was a soft muttering, and he had a deep seating feeling that she was talking about him, and he sent a glare in the direction of the pool, hoping that she felt it.

But Kagome giggled, and his shoulders dropped a little from where he'd hunched them up the more they talked about the dumbass wolf.

But she wasn't upset—well, not as upset, at least. It was a start.

"Okay," Sango said after a moment, "let me finish up, but here, dry off and then we'll bandage you."

There was quiet for a long time.

"Care to say what they're talking about now?" Miroku's desire for gossip was clearly unrivaled.

"Stuff," Inuyasha answered quickly.

A long sigh of exasperation bled out of Miroku.

"Can you at least tell me how close they are to being done so I can know if I need to start lunch?"

"Yeah, whatever," Inuyasha said, still straining to listen.

"He's not going to do it," Shippo added quietly.

"Yeah, I know," Miroku sighed. "He's probably not even listening to me anymore."

"You know how he gets when Kagome's around," Shippo whispered.

"You know how he gets when Kagome's not around."

Inuyasha snapped his head to glare at him.

"It's merely an observation, friend." Miroku slowly fed the growing fire with the wood that Inuyasha had brought.

The girls were mumbling again, and Inuyasha turned back towards the sounds of their voices.

"Here, raise your arm a little. I want to make sure this isn't pulling any."

Okay, so they were just finishing up.

That was okay.

And Kagome would smell like herself and only herself again! He tapped his claws on one hand against his arm while he waited for them to call him.

Kagome was injured, he reminded himself. She was hurt and these things took time, but he was still anxious.

He wanted to see her and make sure that she's fine.

And maybe some touching.

He wouldn't know that she was okay unless she was right there beside him.

Fuck, he had it bad, didn't he?

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called.

He darted off towards the pool, being careful not to land in it. He landed next to her as Sango was packing up her backpack.

"You ready?" He asked.

Probably shouldn't have sprinted here judging from the knowing smirk on Sango's face.

Kagome was dressed in another pair of pajamas, and he knelt down next to her. He liked her in her school uniform—probably a little too much—but the light blue of her shirt made her eyes shine.

Kagome looked up at him, holding up her good arm, and he slid underneath it, scooping her off the ground.

"How's your ankle?" He asked, and she held up her leg for examination, even though it was already wrapped up.

"Still hurts if I move it too much," she commented, as he turned towards the small campsite they'd set up.

"You're gonna have to stay off of it for longer."

Kagome let her head rest against his shoulder.

"I feel bad making you carry me though," she mumbled.

"Keh, like you're heavy," he mumbled, tucking her in higher against him.

"Are we going to be able to make it to the village tonight?" She asked him, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Sango following behind them just a bit with Kirara prancing at her heels.

"I think so," he answered as he carried her back through the trees. It wasn't a far walk, and he somewhat wished that it had lasted a bit longer.

He lowered her to the ground in front of the fire, where her back could lean against a tree, and her hand slowly slipped from around his shoulders, fingers caressing his neck as she pulled away.

"I trust your time in the hot spring was soothing?" Miroku asked, as Inuyasha shifted to sit down beside her. He pulled her leg into his lap, helping to keep it elevated. He rested his hand in his palm as he leaned over her leg.

"It was. My ankle already feels better."

"I can't believe they didn't let me bathe with you!" Shippo whined, as he leaned against the thigh of her good leg. "I could've helped!"

Kagome stroked his head, running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry. Maybe next time."

"You promise?"

"Of course," Kagome said, and Shippo's tail twitched back and forth eagerly.

It felt like old times that shouldn't feel like old times, because it felt like his feelings for her were barely even a secret anymore, and maybe it wasn't. Everyone seemed to pick up that she was a weakness for him, didn't they?

They always threatened her to get to him.

"How's lunch coming along?" Sango asked, and Miroku gestured to the pot that he was preparing on the open fire.

"I can safely say that the water is almost boiling."

Sango sat down beside him.

"You've done a good job," she said with a smile. Miroku beamed back at her.

It was—cute—in a very weird fucking away. And something that he wanted so desperately with Kagome, who was leaned back against the tree petting Shippo's hair, and who looked positively thrilled with the attention.

Inuyasha tucked her leg against his midsection, holding onto her calf firmly. He glanced over at her, and she smiled at him.

Sango brought them ramen cups, handing each one over carefully. He ate through his, chunking the paper cup into the fire. Kagome finished hers a little more slowly. He rested his chin in his palm, watching her from the edges of his vision.

"Do you feel up to going to the village?" Miroku asked. "We'd like to get your ankle looked at by a healer."

"I think so," Kagome answered, continuing to eat. "Are we going to stay the night?"

"If you think that you'd feel up to it," Sango said, taking a bite of her own noodles.

"Or we can merely see the healer and leave. It's your choice," Miroku said, tossing his own cup into the fire.

Inuyasha let his arm rest against her leg and his fingers wrapped around her calf. His thumb drifted over her skin as he shifted his head to look at her.

She smiled at him, and his eyes delighted at seeing her look semi-comfortable. His thumb brushed against her skin as she finished up her lunch, giving her cup to Shippo to toss into the fire, which he did happily.

Runt was a little too happy to burn shit. Probably something that should be discussed.

"Are we okay to move?" Miroku suggested. "We're still a little ways from the village, but it would be best to get there before nightfall."

"You okay to travel?" Inuyasha asked, sitting upright, and looking at her face.

"I think so," Kagome answered.

Miroku stood, dusting himself off, and offering a hand to Sango, pulling her easily to her feet.

"You sure?" He asked as their friends packed everything up. Kirara transformed with a roar. She shifted her leg off his lap, and he fought the impulse to drag it—and her—back against him. He cleared his throat.

She held up her hands to him, answering his question without answering him, and he quickly scooped her up off the ground.

"You just gonna stop talking now?" He grumbled as he shifted her weight slightly.

"Why?" She asked, leaning her head against his shoulder. "You know what I want. Why muddle it up with words?"

He started to argue that she needed to talk to say something, but if she didn't want to talk and he understood? What the fuck did they need words for anyway?

Words were for losers anyway.

A/N: Thank you for being so patient with me! I'm feeling much better, but now school has officially started back in session, and I'm not really sure what to make of this year?

There's a lot of changes, especially in terms of security, but we're going to have to play the waiting game and see how that plays out.

As a reminder, no posting next week, but I will post a chapter the week after.

As always, let me know what you guys think!