Chapter 103
Homo sine amore vivere nequit
"A man without love cannot live"

"We are always in a hurry to be happy,
. . . for when we have suffered a long time,
we have great difficulty in believing in good fortune."
—The Count of Monte Cristo

Hanyou body heat was a wonderful help to sore back muscles.

Kagome wasn't going to complain about Inuyasha practically manhandling her and treating her like a stuffed animal, because her back ached from the way that Inuyasha had been holding her.

Though she understood the reason why he was doing it.

And to be honest, she really didn't mind.

She liked being close to him. She liked being coddled—to an extent, but it wasn't like she hated it. She just didn't like being unable to walk or lift her arms or do anything for herself because she knew that she was a burden that they didn't exactly need at the moment.

And they were only going back to Kaede's because of her injuries—because she needed time to recover.

"Hey," Inuyasha very lightly bumped her head with his, "I can smell you thinking."

"You cannot," she said, eyes refocusing on her English homework.

"Can too."

"You cannot smell when I'm thinking," Kagome said, turning her head towards him.

"Not all the time, just when you're thinking too hard."

"You cannot smell when I'm thinking too hard."

"Sure, I can."

"Fine, then what does it smell like?" Kagome put her pencil down to focus completely on his answer.

"Remember when Souta put the bread into the machine and it popped up all burnt and smelled bad? Like that."

Kagome elbowed him in the stomach.

"I do not smell like burnt toast!"

She tried to push herself away from him, her notebook sliding off her lap and onto the floor, but his arms tightened around her middle, locking her into place. She wriggled around a bit, struggling to get free, but Inuyasha wasn't letting her go.

She pushed against his arms, giggling as he kept her firmly in place before hissing when she pressed too hard with her shoulder.

He immediately let her go.

"What did I do?" He asked in a panic. "Did I hurt you? What do you need?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "No, it's fine."

"You don't sound fine. What do you need? Where does it hurt?"

"I'm okay, Inuyasha." She lightly patted his knee. "My shoulder was just unhappy with me."

His hands rested on her sides as he moved her slowly and carefullyso that he could face her directly.

"How bad is it? Do you think that you pulled something? Should we get Sango to look at it? Should I look at it?"

Kagome let out a small laugh at his over abundance of concern.

"Inuyasha, I'm fine. It's already going away."

"It's not fine if it's hurting like that," he said as his fingers gently rubbed into her lower back. Kagome reached up, letting her fingers drift across his cheek.

"It's okay, I promise."

Inuyasha stared at her as though he didn't quite believe her at first, but ultimately accepted that she was, in fact, okay.

"Fine," he mumbled, eyes moving to stare at the wall, even though his face never moved away from her fingers. She'd thought that he'd pull away from her after a moment, but if anything, it seemed as though he was leaning into her touch ever so slightly as he moved to sit wrapped around her again.

"Does it hurt all the time?" He asked,

"No, not really. Mostly just when I move too much or try to do something I'm not supposed to."

His thumb moved slowly across her side, back and forth, like it gave him comfort to just touch her.

It wasn't like she didn't do the same thing after all.

But it was a little strange. For him at least.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Kagome," he said. "Work on your school shit."

She stared at him for a moment, watching him to ensure that he wasn't lying to her for her appeasement—or anyone else's for that matter—and then shifted to refocus back on her work, dragging her fingers across his cheek, down to his jaw and then pulled away when the expanse of skin ended.

Inuyasha cleared his throat as she returned to her notebook and began making her notes.

It was quiet between them, and Inuyasha sat there stoically, letting her use him as a chair with no complaint.

It was sweet of him to say the least, but she didn't want to take advantage of his kindness.

"You're here because you want to be, right?"

There was a brief moment of silence, and she felt him stiffen slightly behind her.

"What the fuck sorta question is that?" He said, voice slightly raised.

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"Nope, not squeaking out of this one, what the fuck do you mean, Kagome?"

"I just meant that if you wanted to go somewhere, you didn't have to stay with me. Miroku could've stayed, and you could've—"

"You think I'm going to leave you with the monk?" Inuyasha scoffed, and Kagome rolled her eyes.

"It isn't like he's going to try something, and—"

"That ain't what I meant and quit trying to dodge the question."

"I'm not dodging the question!"

He growled at her, and she narrowed her eyes back at him.

"So why're you asking if I want to be here?"

"I just wanted you to know that you didn't have to be here, if you didn't want to."

Inuyasha huffed.

"You're an idiot," he muttered, and Kagome sputtered.

"I'm an idiot?" She asked, voice raising.

"You're an idiot," he repeated, like she hadn't heard him the first time, and rested his head in his hand as he perched it on his knee. "You think you could make me do something that I didn't want to?" He scoffed, and then just sat there, like the conversation was over.

The door slid open, and Kirara bounded inside looking supremely pleased with herself.

"We're back!" Shippo said, bounding over to her.

"Like we didn't notice," Inuyasha muttered behind her.

Sango's gaze flicked between Inuyasha and her, and Kagome smiled.

"Ignore him. He's in a mood for whatever reason."

Inuyasha shot a mellowed glare at her.

"Huh," was all that Sango said. "How're you doing?"

"I'm okay. Just working on my schoolwork."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," Kagome said.

"You're sure about that? Inuyasha doesn't look fine."

"If Kagome says it's fine, then it's fine!" Inuyasha snapped, and Kagome leaned away in order to turn and look at him.

She still didn't understand what she'd said or exactly why he'd be upset about her asking a question, clearly she'd done something.

"Inuyasha?" She asked, and his arm slid back around her middle, tugging her back against him.

"It's fine," he said.

It felt far from it, but he was already upset about something she'd said, so perhaps it was better to just let it be for the moment.

"Did you take care of the rats?" Kagome asked, and Sango nodded, moving to sit down across from the fire.

"It was just some ordinary rats, but Miroku is trying to swindle someone out of dinner."

"I helped!" Shippo grinned at her, tail flicking behind him. "I crawled in under the floors and scared them all away with my foxfire!"

"Good job, Shippo!"

He grinned at her, fangs completely bared and tail almost wagging behind him. He was absolutely adorable. "One of the rats was a youkai, but I let Miroku handle that one."

"Good job, Shippo," Kagome said, reaching out to ruffle his hair a bit.

"Yeah, I thought it would help him look good."

"What was that?" Miroku asked, and Shippo flinched as he looked behind him, smiling almost nervously at the monk.

"Nothing?"

Miroku raised an eyebrow at that.

"It sounded an awful like not nothing." Miroku's staff jingled as he moved into the room, slowly shutting the door behind him. Shippo yelped and darted behind Sango.

"We've talked about this, Shippo," she said. "If you can say it, then you can deal with the consequences."

"But I didn't say anything!" Shippo protested.

"Then why are you hiding?" Inuyasha asked, and Shippo leaned far enough out from Sango to glare at him and stick his tongue out.

"Stick that out one more time, and I'll rip it out myself."

"Ew, gross, I don't wanna taste where your hands have been," Shippo said with a disgusted look on his face.

Inuyasha growled behind her, but he made no move to stand on his own.

"I know where you sleep, runt," he growled behind her, making her giggle.

"I can move, if you wan—" she started, but the arm around her middle held her in place, as though she could actually leave or move under her own power currently.

"Don't be fucking stupid," Inuyasha grumbled, both arms wrapped around her stomach and keeping her there with him.

Sango rolled her eyes as Kagome rested her hands over Inuyasha's arms. The tensed muscles slowly relaxed under her grip. The tendons eased and she could feel the cage around her soften as he slowly stopped growling at everything.

It reminded her of soothing Buyo when he was upset and agitated, and she let her nails lightly scratch against his skin as she tried to comfort him just a bit.

The tension melted out of him, and she leaned back a little more as he was no longer pressing her forward with his posture.

"You okay?" She asked quietly, twisting her head to look up at his face.

"I'm fucking fine," he mumbled, arms shifting around her body just a little bit more.

She hummed just a bit at his retort, watching him as he glanced down at her and then away.

"What?" He asked. "Don't you have shit to do?"

Miroku mumbled something across the fire that earned him a sharp smack from Sango and a look from Inuyasha that should've evaporated him off the face of the earth.

"What did he say?" Kagome asked, and everyone looked to Inuyasha, except for Miroku who grinned.

"Nothing." Inuyasha muttered. "Work on your school work."

"What did Miroku say?" Kagome asked, looking around the group.

Except no one would answer her. She looked at Inuyasha who was giving Miroku what could only be described as a look meant to make him explode in the most painful way possible.

Miroku muttered something else behind his hand, and it elicited a low rumbling growl from Inuyasha.

"You're gonna have to sleep long before I do," he warned, and Miroku grinned, opening his mouth to say something else.

"What are you saying, Miroku?" Kagome asked.

"Ah, nothing of particular merit," he said, with a Cheshire grin on his face.

"If you wanna fuck him, I'd do it before I kill him," Inuyasha warned Sango, fingers cracking as he held them up for Miroku to see.

"Could you please stop antagonizing Inuyasha?"

"Ah, only because you asked so nicely, Kagome."

Kagome reached up as Inuyasha continued to growl and bare his fangs at the monk.

Her fingers ran along the edge of his jaw and the teeth disappeared and the vicious growling slowly rumbled to a stop.

"Hey," she whispered, "don't let him antagonize you."

His eyes shifted to her, even though his face didn't, and it softened incrementally as he moved his arms to hold her just a little tighter as though she were his own personal stuffed animal.

Sango huffed, resting her chin in her palm.

"What?" Inuyasha snapped out at her.

Kagome reached up and scratched under his jaw again, and the tenseness faded from his body. He leaned into it slightly, and Kagome smiled a little at his action.

"Don't say a word, monk," Sango warned, and Miroku gave her a look of pretended offense. "I can see the stupid wheels turning in your head."

"Do you have so little faith in me, beloved?"

"Yes."

Miroku's mock-offense was enough to make Kagome giggle, and Inuyasha leaned his head against hers.

This was enough to reassure her and let her relax just a bit. After a few long breaths, Kagome felt Inuyasha withdraw his arm and her workbook slid into her lap.

She turned her head to look up at him, but he wasn't looking at her as his arm returned to its place back around her middle.

Picking up her book, she continued to work as Inuyasha seemed to relax and let her use him as a chair.

Dinner came, and Inuyasha gently shifted her off of his lap as he let her lean back against his raised knee to eat. Her body felt stiff and sore, and she longed to just go on a walk, but her ankle, even though the swelling had gone down quite a bit, still ached when she rotated it.

Afterwards, Miroku played with Kirara and a tuft of thread.

Sango worked on sharpening her blades—all of them.

Shippo colored with his crayons and coloring books that she'd brought him.

And Inuyasha—well, he seemed content to sit behind her, his legs stretched out on either side of hers as his arms had found their way back around her middle.

After all this time, she questioned if it was even comfortable to sit like that, especially for so long. But after the freak out he had earlier, she didn't know if she even wanted to ask him anything at this point. He seemed content, so it didn't seem worth bringing it up and possibly upsetting him again.

She, however, felt like her brain had turned to mush, resolidified in an unrecognizable heap and then melted again. But she had made some progress in a couple of her courses, so she might be able to eek out a passing grade when it came down to it.

Kagome closed her workbook and rubbed her face. It wasn't that late, and she was tired of sleeping. Sango was doing her mending—and Miroku's, and Shippo was eagerly showing Miroku and Kirara his drawings.

It was a sweet setting to see, and it made her happy to see her friends so relaxed after everything.

And that was the precise moment that her bladder made itself known.

Great. Wonderful.

She loved that.

Kagome moved her books off her lap and to the side, and she could practically feel Inuyasha's ears prick up at the sound of the movement.

"You done?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I don't think that my brain could handle any more of it, to be honest." She started to stretch her arms out in front of her and then stopped as her shoulder pulled against the stitches that were there. "But I do need to go to the little girl's room."

Sango turned towards her and stood, back arching and throwing her arms above her head in a long stretch.

A small pang of jealousy paraded through Kagome at the freedom of movement she had.

"I could do for a short walk myself," Sango said. "I've been sitting for too long fixing Miroku's clothes."

An indignant sound came from Miroku.

"I will have you know that a certain adorable fire cat made some of those holes."

"You keep letting her do what she wants and I'm going to make you start learning how to sew."

"I will have you know that I am perfectly capable of sewing my own clothes."

The look that Sango gave him was enough to make Kagome wilt by proxy.

She reached for Sango's outstretched hand to help her up, and Inuyasha knocked it away as he picked her up from the floor.

"Come on," he said, standing by the door as Sango rolled her eyes at him.

Inuyasha waited for her to open the door, before he stepped out and Kagome flinched at the sudden onslaught of chilly evening air that rolled over her.

"Oi, you cold?" He asked.

"Yes," Kagome admitted, but the moment Inuyasha hesitated, and she panicked, "but I really need to go to the bushes!"

He gave her a look, stilling for just a moment before heading for the trees anyway. He carried her with ease and ducked under branches until they were just out of sight of everyone else that might see them. He slowly lowered her feet to the ground, holding onto her, and letting her lean against him for stability.

His hands—his fingers pressed gently into her side as he held her steady and upright proved he was clearly trying to be so careful with her.

And it made something warm deep in her chest to know that someone who had ripped youkai to shreds with his bare hands, was so gentle and soft and caring with her—she wanted it to mean so much more.

She wanted it to mean everything.

But that was more than she could ask from him.

Not when she had nothing to offer him.

Not when she was a burden to him.

"So, are you going to let her pee or just stare at her the entire time?"

Inuyasha's head snapped to glare at her with a growl.

"Go stand over there," Sango said, shooing him off.

His hands remained planted on her sides for just a moment longer, and then he moved a step back from her before retreating just a bit from her. He huffed loudly and then stepped away, farther into the trees.

"Nothing happens to her," he warned as he left her sight.

"Yes, because I would willingly let something happen to Kagome," Sango scoffed loudly. She shook her head in the fading light. "Alright, lean on me."

It was awkward, but the relief on her bladder was worth it. Sango hefted her back up to her feet, and allowed her to pull her pants back up to her waist.

"Thanks, Sango," she said and the slayer waved off her thanks.

"No need for thanks," she said. "You want to call him or should I?"

"Fuck you, Sango, I'm already here," Inuyasha said, pushing the branches out of his way.

Kagome felt her cheeks bloom at how close he was. He had to have heard her relieving herself.

"Keh, get that look off your face, Kagome, it ain't like it's weird."

He swept her up quickly albeit gently and carted her back off to the room.

She looked up at the sky before the roof covered it, admiring the brightness of the stars and how the light of the moon, illuminated everything. But especially him.

He glowed in the moonlight, and she didn't know how that was possible, but he did. He was always so bright and warm that he seemed more apt to be a star himself.

But soon enough, they were inside and Inuyasha had her back by the fire, wrapping a blanket around her.

"It wasn't that cold," she started, and he gave her a look like she'd just made the dumbest statement he'd ever heard.

"You were shivering," he pointed out, gently shifting her legs so that her feet were pointed more towards the fire.

"It was just a surprise. Nothing's going to happen from me spending a few minutes out in the night air, Inuyasha."

"You'll get sick," he stated, moving away towards her pack.

"Inuyasha, I don't need another blanket," his face turned towards her, and there was a strange look on his face, one that she'd only see a few times before.

Real genuine fear and worry.

"I'm fine," she told him, smiling just a bit.

His ears twisted sideways as he stared at her pack.

"I promise, I'm fine. Come here." She motioned for him to join her, and he grimaced, standing after a moment and moving towards her. It looked like he was going to sit beside her, but after a clear moment of thought, he resumed his spot behind her.

"I'm warm," was the only excuse he made, and she grabbed one of his hands in hopes of reassuring him that she was fine.

"I'm going to be okay," she reminded him, and his fingers wrapped around hers. "See, not that cold at all."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at their joined hands, and then his ears went sideways, and he just stared at the floor.

Miroku yelped, drawing her attention away, and he pulled the little tassel free that he'd been using to taunt Kirara.

"You're a vicious little thing," he said, sticking his finger in his mouth as he tapped her on the forehead with the other.

She trilled angrily and leapt for the tassel again, pouncing on Miroku's shoulder.

"Sango, how do I get her to stop playing?"

"Let her catch whatever it is she's hunting," Sango mentioned, packing away her needles and thread as she folded up Miroku's robes.

"Okay, but let's say that I don't want her to have it forever."

"Remember when I told you to not let her play with things that you want to keep?"

"Alright, let's say I didn't listen."

Miroku hid the tassel in his fist quickly and ducked it behind his back, dumping the tassel and returning it into her vision. Opening the palm for her to see that it's empty.

"See, all gone! There's no more tassel to play with. It's disappeared! Sucked it right up into my wind tunnel."

Kirara stepped up and sniffed his hand daintily, and then looked at Miroku for a long second.

Kagome saw the attack coming after years of living with Buyo, and sure enough, Kirara leapt at the offending hand and bit, jerking her head side to side like she was trying to rip the flesh off with her tiny kitten teeth.

Miroku yelped, shaking his hand, but Kirara sank her claws into his wrist to hold on.

"Kirara," Sango said, picking up the cat as she swiped at Miroku's hand. "I know, he's hiding your toy, but if you kill him, you won't be able to sleep in his robes anymore."

Kirara stopped hissing at Miroku and seemed to ponder the thought. Her eyes narrowed in a silent warning, but her ears flicked forward as Sango carried her back to where she was sitting.

Sango set Kirara in her lap and lightly began scratching the fire cat's chest.

Miroku cradled his abused hand to his chest.

"If you go get my first aid kit, I'll clean that for you," Kagome offered, and Miroku held it up to show.

"It's fine. The new holes in my hand aren't even bleeding, and the scratches are minimal."

Kirara stopped her purring to glare at Miroku, who tucked his hand against his chest.

"You're going to have to suck up to get back on her good side," Sango said, stroking a fuzzy ear.

"Perhaps a good word from her mistress will help?"

Sango snorted.

"She once ignored my father for three months and refused to help because he wouldn't let her eat the skins from the fish he'd cleaned. This is between you and her."

"Story of my life. One woman is happy and the other is not."

"And how many times has this been an issue?" Sango asked.

"Surprisingly just the once," Miroku said with a grin, and Sango rolled her eyes, continuing to stroke Kirara's fur.

Inuyasha's fingers were slowly rubbing along her knuckles in a rhythmic motion.

She leaned back against him, shifting just a bit so her head rested against his neck and jaw.

Barely a second passed by before she felt him rub his cheek along her head.

Kagome smiled and let out the breath that it felt like she'd been holding for ages.

A/N: Happy Thursday!

Sorry it's late, but I was celebrating my aunt's birthday (with wine). And because of who I am as a person, did not have this chapter done and ready to go.

Anyway, i hope you all have been doing well! And for those who might be interested, I'll have a new chapter of Lethe this weekend and two new pieces for Halloween!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Happy Halloween and Day of the Dead! I'll see you in a couple weeks.