Disclaimer: See previous chapters
Pairings/Characters: Brittany/Santana, Quinn, Rachel, Sue Sylvester, Kurt Hummel, Artie Abrams, Finn Hudson, Puck, Mercedes Jones, Shelby Corcoran, Frannie Fabray, the Berry Dads
Word Count: 6,780 ( 5 of 9 )

Kurt carefully brushed the sand off the beach chair he'd rented. Unlike Mercedes, he wanted something more between himself and the hot beach sand than a thin towel. He wasn't sure, anymore, why he'd thought coming down to Mexico on the off chance that one of the aliens actually was Rachel Berry was a good idea.

They'd watched the interviews with Ellen over and over for the last month as they waited for permission to come to the alien enclave. And, no matter how many times he saw them, Kurt still couldn't decide if that was really Rachel Berry. She, and the others, just seemed so alien. If it were them, something had changed them. He wasn't sure they would remember him or even be able to communicate in a language he or Mercedes understood. Sure, they had seemed very articulate, speaking with a faint foreign accent, but he'd been unable to detect any signs of their high school doppelgängers.

"You think too much," Mercedes said, throwing an ice chip at him.

"Too much? Not enough," he said. "Why are we here?"

"You wanted to look for Berry," she said. "I just wanted to go on vacation."

"You wanted to look for her too," he protested, shaking the umbrella over his head to see if it was safe. "Though I don't see any cabana boys."

"The cabana boys are too busy staring at the aliens," she said, waving at a small crowd down the beach."

"The perils of alien beauty," he said snidely. "There's nothing special about them, except their odd taste in clothes."

"And that accent," Mercedes said. "Get me some hunky surfer with that accent and I could die happy."

"There are no alien men," Kurt said, frowning down at his copy of Vogue with yet another gussied up reality star on the cover. "No one seems to know why."

"Yeah, what's up with that," Mercedes said. "There have to be some somewhere. I don't believe them. I think they were lying to Ellen."

"The cabana boys would probably revolt," Kurt said. "It's bad enough that most of the alien women ignore them. At least they get some attention."

"Doesn't that woman look familiar," Mercedes asked, pointing out an older, short, brunette woman jogging towards them.

"You're correct," Kurt murmured. "Definitely a previous acquaintance."

"Hello," the woman said, coming to a slow stop between them and the beach. "What brings the two of you here?"

"Here the beach or here Cancun?" Kurt asked. "And, not to be rude, you look very familiar but I can't remember your name."

"Cancun, the beach is obvious. This is one of the nicer beaches in the enclave," she said. "I suspect we've never been formally introduced. I'm Shelby Corcoran. I was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. And both of you were in New Directions back when it showed promise."

"New Directions still shows promise," Mercedes said. "But they just can't seem to catch a break."

Shelby sat down on the sand. "You don't mind if I keep you company?" she asked. "My friend seems to have wandered off to hang out with her younger sister."

"It's a free beach," Kurt said. "What brings you to Cancun?"

"We won a free trip and two weeks at the hotel right up there," she said, waving vaguely up the beach. "That was three months ago."

"So you've been here a while? Aren't they letting people leave yet?" Kurt asked.

"What was it like during the invasion?" Mercedes asked, before Shelby could answer Kurt's questions.

"We didn't really notice the annexation right away," Shelby said. "They don't consider it an invasion since their people were the original settlers of the area. We couldn't contact the outside world but we came here to be by ourselves so that was okay. And we've petitioned the Council of Nine, the leaders of the aliens, for permanent residence."

"You can do that? How can you do that?" Mercedes asked. "Maybe we should do that," she said to Kurt. "It's an awesome beach.

"You have to have Mayan ancestors, or be married or in a relationship with someone who does," Shelby said.

"Do you have to prove it?" Mercedes asked. "Did the Mayans keep good records? Didn't the Spanish burn everything that proved there were aliens? That was on one of those shows Artie had us watch. "

"There was that woman on Ellen who wrote about what happened to the Mayan's," Kurt said. "She called it a diaspora. Sort of like the Jewish diaspora but without the religious persecution."

"So you must have Mayan ancestors?" Mercedes said excitedly. "What do you think about this whole Clan thing?"

"No, I don't," Shelby said, "but my friend does, though she and her sister, and probably her mother, look like your typical blue eyed and blonde haired Northern Europeans, so it was a bit of a surprise. The Clans seem to have an interesting, if overly complex, family structure."

"Is it real?" Mercedes asked. "It feels like the aliens watched a lot of bad TV and surfed the internet to get some of their ideas."

"Oh, they're real," Shelby said. "Their ideas do show a little too much pop culture influence, in my opinion, but the minds behind them run rings around our smartest."

"So you've met their leaders?" Mercedes asked.

"Yes," Shelby said.

"What are they like?" Kurt asked. "They seemed a bit... different, when they appeared on Ellen."

"I found them charming," Shelby said, "if a bit idiosyncratic." Something beeped, loudly. "Someone's looking for me," Shelby said, standing back up. "I'm sure we'll speak again before you leave."

"Yes, ma'am," they both said.

"That was strange," Mercedes said as they watched her head up a path that led towards a group of beach houses. "I wonder who her friend is. And doesn't she look even more familiar now?"

"Yes, there was a certain Rachelness to her," Kurt said.

"That's who she reminds me of," Mercedes said, excitedly. "Like how I imagine an older Rachel Berry would act."

"There's a very good reason for that," a voice said behind them.

Gasping in surprise, they both turned around. Dressed in colorful beach coverups, Rachel Berry and Brittany giggled at the reaction their appearance caused.

"Miss Berry," Kurt said. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. And an explanation would be warranted."

"Some things, we can explain, others, not right now," Brittany said. "But first, let us get into comfortable beach mode."

"Of course," Mercedes said. "Get comfortable. Plenty of room."

"That's because this is our regular spot," Brittany said, winking at her. "The hotel keeps it clear just for us."

"Do we need to move?" Kurt asked, looking around. "This was the only free spot."

"No, you're friends," Rachel said. "Don't even think of moving somewhere else. If we hadn't wanted you here, you wouldn't be."

"So, tell us the truth," Mercedes said, leaning towards them and speaking in a low voice. "Figureheads or real leaders?"

"Definitely real," Rachel said, "though the others have jobs that are more real than my own. Kurt, do you know the old Welsh tales of wandering bards?"

"Those guys who told stories and spread culture all over England and Ireland?"

"That would be them," Rachel said. "My job is partially that. Keeper of Clan culture. And there's so much amazing music and epic poetry to investigate."

"And there's the real Rachel Berry," Kurt said in a low voice that hopefully only Mercedes heard. Mercedes nodded.

"And speaking of music, who is Shelby Corcoran? Why does she look so much like you?"

"Well... since we haven't shared the tech for it yet, it isn't possible for men to bear children."

"And please keep that to yourself," Kurt said. "Men aren't built to do that, no matter what fan fiction writers might dream up as an excuse. Where would we put it?"

"Yeah, Kurt made me read a couple of those, as punishment," Mercedes said. "But you're avoiding the question."

"She's a close friend of the family," Rachel said. "The rest is our secret. For now."

"She's your clone?" Mercedes said. "Sent back in time by the aliens?"

"No, she's my mother," Rachel said in a whisper, exasperated. "And I didn't tell you that."

"Got it," Mercedes whispered back. "A secret."

"I bet it was the kidnapping," Kurt said, missing their whispered conversation. "That was a shock to so many people. She probably aged overnight."

"It shocked us too," Rachel said loudly. Next to her, Brittany to burst into laughter. "Hey!"

"Sorry, I was listening to Quinn and Santana," Brittany said, giggling.

"Have they talked to Puck yet?" Rachel asked. "How's Finn look?"

"No, just no!" Kurt said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest. "Please tell me you aren't still interested in Finn."

"Nope," Brittany said, answering for her. "She has much better prospects for extreme snuggles."

"Brittany! That was told in confidence," Rachel said, blushing.

"And I haven't mentioned a certain someone's future in-law, have I"?

"Let's keep it that way," Rachel said.

"We can keep a secret," Mercedes said. "Who do you have your eye on? Some space hottie?"

"I'm not talking," Rachel said, laying back on her towel with a huff.

"Definitely a hottie," Brittany said to Mercedes, in a loud whisper, causing Rachel to groan.

Puck strolled down the beach, checking out the sun bathers and beach bunnies. Artie had headed back to the cruise ship after their brief encounter with Scary Alien Quinn and her plucky sidekick, Sarcastic Santana. Finn had parked himself at a bar further up the beach. Puck, however, was still hoping to run into Berry. He'd feel a lot better about this trip if that one goal was met.

"Puck!"

Puck looked around for the person shouting his name. It had to be Kurt, since everyone else was somewhere else. Looking towards a small clump of trees, he spotted Kurt waving. Waving back, in the coolest way possible, Puck changed direction.

Grabbing a beer bottle from a passing waiter, Puck plopped down in the sand, next to Kurt. "Hey," he said, taking a sip.

"Did you see any ruins?" Kurt asked. "Did Artie get any good footage?"

"It was a bust," Puck said. "The ruins were closed to tourists."

"So Artie wasn't able to talk his way in?" Kurt asked.

"Nope," Puck said. "Quinn told us to get lost."

"You saw Quinn?"

"And Santana," he said. "They were dressed in that cartoon armor, but it was them or aliens who looked like them."

"And they didn't let you look around?" Mercedes asked, looking at him from the other side of Kurt.

"Nope," Puck said. "And they said Artie's camera guy was a mobster."

"That's not good."

"Where's Finn?" Kurt asked. "And Artie."

"Finn stopped for a drink," Puck said. "He should be along in a bit, if he doesn't get distracted. Artie went back to the ship. Quinn told him to call Brittany if he wanted to do any filming around here."

"She gave you Brittany's number?" Mercedes asked.

"Nah," Puck said. "If he can't figure out how to call her that's his problem."

"No Berry?" Mercedes asked, smirking.

"No," Puck grumbled. "Not even a hint."

"Maybe you aren't trying hard enough," a voice he couldn't identify said behind him.

"Puck?"

"Yeah Mercedes?" Puck said, slowly turning.

"Guess who we found?"

"Hello, Noah," the voice said again, just as he completed turning. Laying down, in beach chairs he hadn't noticed until now, were two women. They were older but could only be Rachel Berry and Brittany Pierce.

"Hey Puck!" Brittany said, waving at him from the other side of Rachel. "I'm meeting with Artie tomorrow morning. We'll take care of him, though probably not the way he expects."

'Hey, former Gleek babes," Puck said, staring at them intently. "What's with the whole accent thing? Q and Satan were pushing the accent also."

"It happened when we were kidnapped," Rachel said.

"You didn't get probed, did you?" Puck asked, making a face.

"Oh, no, that's not how real aliens do things," Rachel said. "They don't need to do any probing."

"Not even if you ask," Brittany said. "If you get probed it'll probably be by the Men In Black. Those guys aren't fluffy."

"There really are black helicopters?"

"Yes," Brittany said. "They keep trying to kidnap Rach. All of their stuff is black."

"Why?" Puck asked.

"Why what?"

"Why do they keep trying to kidnap you?" he asked Rachel.

Rachel shrugged. "Don't know but it's annoying."

"They don't like aliens," Brittany said. "They're like a really mean Torchwood without the cute coffee guy or Captain Jack."

"Need some protection, babes?" Puck asked them. "I'm here for you."

"Brittany's got amazing alien ninja powers," Rachel said. "So we're okay when we travel, though you're welcome to come along. Besides, we don't allow them in the enclave."

"Oh," Puck said, trying not to feel disappointed. "I can't leave my bar for that long anyway."

"You're doing real well," Brittany said, nodding. "I peeked at your taxes."

"I get by," Puck said. "So, what's the plan?"

"Plan?" Kurt asked.

"Well, you and the others aren't kidnapped anymore. Are you coming home?"

"Where's home?" Rachel said. "We've been gone for a long time."

"Where your family is, I guess," Puck said.

"Well, my dads are here, and Shelby is planning to move down here if Frannie agrees."

"Who's Shelby?" Puck asked.

"Her mother," Mercedes said, looking like she was keeping so many secrets she would burst.

"Coach for Vocal Adrenaline?" Kurt added.

"Really?" Puck said. "Who's Frannie?"

"Quinn's older sister," Brittany said. "She's living with Shelby."

"Was it something about Lima?" Puck asked. "Something in the air? All the good ones are lesbians. You're not a lesbian yet?" he asked Rachel.

"No," Rachel said. "But neither is Quinn."

"If you say so," Puck said. Behind her, Brittany was shaking her head. He wondered what that was about. "So, you're living the alien lifestyle?"

"That's one way to put it," Rachel said.

"So much juicy gossip," Mercedes said, "and we can't tell anyone."

"Why not," he asked.

"Because we say so," Brittany said, giving him a look that could freeze the blood in a man's bones. "You can either not talk about what you've discovered or we turn you into a popsicle."

"She's not joking," Rachel said. "You don't want to mess with the Shadow."

"You have cool superhero names already," Puck grumbled. "Why didn't we get to pick a name."

"The only ones who could be superheroes are Brittany and Quinn," Rachel said. "You don't want to run into one of them in a dark alley. Santana and I learned self defense but those two take it to a whole new level."

If you say so," Puck said, frowning. "What can I do to help then? Not going to leave me behind again."

"For now, you can enjoy the beach and your visit to Cancun," Brittany said. "We'll let you know if we need anything from you. Just remember that our old lives in Lima are off limits. Even if the President asks about us, you know nothing."

"Got it," Puck said. "History is ancient history. I can be a loyal alien minion. Who's going to explain things to Finn?"

"Who does that now?" Rachel asked. "He wasn't dumb, just in his own little world."

"He's a good guy," Puck said. "Just a little aimless. And he wants to find out what happened to his old girlfriends, especially a certain singing one."

"We can't have that," Brittany said. "Rach, you need to tell him you can't get back together."

"Get back together?" Rachel said. "I haven't seen him since that night. Haven't thought about him in years."

"Well, you're about to see him now," Brittany said, pointing down the beach. "Did he get taller?"

"Don't know," Rachel said. "You're the one who keeps tabs on everyone."

"Kurt, his mom is still married to your dad, right?" Brittany said. "So you're still his stepbrother?"

"We don't socialize much," Kurt said. "He hangs out with his butch firehouse buddies and at Puck's bar. Mercedes and I live in Cleveland."

"Did you see Barbra get inducted into the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame?" Rachel asked excitedly. "I've seen the recordings but being there must have been amazing!"

"Not the time, Rachel," Brittany said. "Incoming past awkwardness."

"But, Barbra!" Rachel said. "A first hand account!"

"You promised us you wouldn't spread the Barbra cult in the Clan," Brittany said firmly.

"I promised no such thing," Rachel said, pouting. "You're making that up. Right Artie?"

"Artie? Where?" Puck asked, standing up and looking around.

"Not your Artie," Rachel said. "Our Artie. She's our AI."

"AI?" Kurt said, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, Artificial Intelligence. She runs our asteroid base, and is always listening."

"And you can't hear her out here," Brittany said. "You need to have a Clan comm."

"Clan comm?" Puck said. "Like a radio? Where are you wearing it?" he asked, leering at them.

"Not telling, and keep your eyes to yourself!" Rachel said. "If you're good, maybe we can get you one of your own."

"Don't make any promises you can't keep," Brittany sent over their private channel. "Artie says he doesn't have any Clan blood. None of the other Gleeks do either. It's rarer than we originally thought."

Before Rachel could respond to the silent communication, the sun was blocked by a tall object.

"Finn!" Puck squeaked, stepping between Finn and Rachel. "Finn, how's it going buddy? What's up?"

"Thought I'd head back to the ship for a nap before dinner," Finn said. "Hey Kurt, Mercedes."

"Finn," Kurt said.

Mercedes nodded at Finn with a delighted expression, before looking at the others to see their reactions to his appearance.

"You're welcome to stay for dinner," Rachel said, pushing Puck to the side. "All of you." "Hey Rachel," Finn said. "How are your dads doing? Haven't seen them in Lima for a while."

"They've moved down here," Rachel said. "If you come to dinner, my dads are cooking." "That's all you have to say?" Puck whispered, loudly, pulling him off to the side. "You haven't seen her in years. Your ex-girlfriend?"

"It's a nice place down here," Finn said. "While you've been scoping the bunnies, I've been talking with people."

"Okay..." Puck said.

"They're making it better," Finn said. "The people who live here are happy. There's almost no crime, and they've gotten rid of all the drug dealers. And nobody is starving. One of the bartenders was telling me how bad it was before Rachel and the aliens took over. It was okay for tourists but everybody else was scared. Quinn's been doing her scary-Q thing and scaring away all the bad guys."

"So, Cancun is a paradise?"

"Paradise? If that means a good place to live, yes," Finn said, stepping around him. "Hey Rachel, do we need to change or is this okay?" he waved at his t-shirt and jeans shorts.

"No need to change," Rachel said. "Beach wear is fine. So you're joining us for dinner?"

"Yes," he said. "I think I'll wander down the beach a bit more."

"Okay. Anyone else?" Rachel said, stand up. "Meet us up at the house in a couple hours?"

"Okay," Puck said, flopping out on the sand next to Kurt. "Hey Berry, awesome bod," he said, watching her pull Brittany to her feet also. "You too Britt. Don't tell Satan I said that," he quickly added. "She was looking kinda fierce in that armor."

"Our little secret," Brittany said, winking at him, adding "But she is hot in her suit." Waving at them, she followed Rachel up the beach and out of sight.

"That wasn't what I expected," he said to Kurt. "No drama with the B's. Just a Hello, come to dinner."

"The B's?" Mercedes asked.

"Britt and Berry," Puck said. "Q and Satan were still kind of scary but the B's seem happy. And hotter than I remember. What's their story?"

"Nothing we can talk about here," Kurt said.

"Meaning, you have no idea," Puck said.

"Nope," Kurt said, nodding. "They promised to talk later. After dinner."

Sitting out on the wide porch after dinner, the former Gleeks, except Artie who was busy networking with business connections Brittany had sent him, and the Berry dads, drank and watched the ocean. Shelby and Frannie had disappeared, citing a prior engagement, to much laughter and suggestive comments from the four not-so-alien women.

Puck noticed how close Quinn and Berry sat next to each other in surprise. Quinn had been quite all evening, though occasionally she would go still, like she was talking to someone. Santana cuddled up to Brittany and not carrying that anyone saw wasn't a real surprise, they'd been headed that way in high school, if not already there.

"What's that," he finally asked.

"What's what," Quinn said, frowning at him over her wineglass.

"You froze for a second," he said. "Like that!" he said as she did it again.

"Oh, that," Quinn said. "It's nothing."

"Sheesh," Santana said. "She's talking on her comm. One of her wonder-kids had a question."

"San," Brittany said. "They didn't need to know that. Now they're going to think we're rude."

"I am rude" Santana said. "And you do it too, but you've got that secret ninja model comm so no one notices."

"Secret Ninja?" Kurt asked.

"Is this one of the things you're gonna explain," Puck asked. "We won't tell. Already got the warnings of death and dismemberment over that."

"Dismember-what?" Finn asked, clearly puzzled.

"If we tell anyone they really are from Lima, they kill us, chop us up and throw us into the sun," Puck said.

"We never said that," Rachel said. "Did we?"

"He's just being a drama queen," Santana said. "We wouldn't bother with the killing and chopping up. We'd just toss them straight into the sun from one of my ships."

"Not much better, S," Quinn said.

"I'm sure you have a better threat?" Santana said.

"I'd just sic one of Brittany's kids on their bank accounts," Quinn said. "They'd be begging for quarters for their lattes on Lima street corners."

"Okay, that's a good one, I'll have to admit," Santana said. "I guess you still got it."

"They're still like this, even after alien kidnapping and invading Mexico?" Mercedes asked.

"Amazing, isn't it," Rachel said, poking Quinn.

"So, the story," Puck said.

"Go for it," Quinn said, poking Rachel back. "You're the official historian."

"Where should I start," Rachel asked, gulping down the contents of her glass. "And what do you really want to know?"

"Everything," Kurt said.

"I want to understand what's going on," Finn said. "How'd you get here?"

"So, our origin story?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah! Origin story," Finn said.

"That could take a while," Rachel said. "How about the short version for now?"

"Go for it," Puck said, reaching into the cooler for another beer. "Short origin story."

"Okay. So you all remember we were kidnapped, right?" Rachel said.

"No one is ever forgetting that," Mercedes said.

"Well, it was aliens," Rachel said, smirking, causing several of them to groan.

"No shit!" Puck said. "But then what."

"Okay. So, they kidnap us, and send us to school," she said. "They teach us all sorts of things. Their language. Self defence. All that sort of thing. And then they taught us different occupations. They taught Santana how to fly spaceships, and how to run the Fleet."

"Fleet?" Finn asked. "Isn't that what they call the ships in the Navy?"

"Same kind of thing," Santana said. "All of our spaceships and spacers are part of the fleet. Like a Navy. And I'm in charge of it. Like an admiral."

"That's a scary thought," Kurt said. "Sorry, continue," he said, dodging the shell she threw at him.

"So, they taught Santana how to run the Fleet, after teaching her all sorts of things about the ships in the fleet. Quinn. Quinn. Mighty Quinn. Her they taught everything on how to be a soldier and run an army."

"My troopers are more like Marines," Quinn said. "But yeah, they stuffed my head full of all sorts of military skills. So, the Clan has troops and I'm in charge of them."

"She's really good at it," Brittany said. "They're predicting she'll be one of the top ten in Clan history. And that's without fighting any major wars yet."

"They taught me how to be their version of a bard," Rachel said. "Which is kind of like being a politician, ambassador, historian, and story teller. And a lot of other things."

"If you thought she was bad back in Lima," Santana said, "now she has even more music to sing, in all sorts of languages."

"It's my thing," Rachel said primly.

"What about Britt," Mercedes asked. "What'd they train her to do?"

"She's our head spy," Rachel said. "They taught her all sorts of spy skills."

"I'm like M and James Bond," Brittany said. "I've got mad spy skills. And ninja skills. And I could take everyone here without breaking into a sweat."

"You have to see her in action," Santana said. "Even Q can't beat her."

"In hand-to-hand," Quinn said. "Maybe."

"Alpha females can be so hot," Brittany said, pulling Santana up into a toe curling kiss.

"So, the aliens kidnapped all of you, trained you to be a general, an admiral, a historian, and a spy. Why?" Kurt asked. "What made them pick you?"

"Do you understand about the Clans?" Rachel asked. "That they're used as a kind of peacekeeping force by the Confederation?"

"That's what you said on Ellen," Kurt said. "But what does that have to do with you four?"

"Okay, so there were thirteen clans. Each had a chunk of the Confederation to keep an eye on. Lots of planets and stars to protect from invasion. Deal with space pirates and criminals. That kind of thing. One of them was supposed to use this planet as their base. And they did, for years. Here in the Yucatan because it was like their home planet. And then they disappeared. And the Confederation took a few years to notice."

"Over a thousand years," Brittany said. "This is a really quiet corner of the galaxy."

"And then it took them years to do something," Rachel said. "They investigated and discovered that the Clan and all of their equipment had disappear. But their descendants were still here."

"The Mayans," Kurt said.

"Yes," Rachel said. "So they put together a plan to take those descendants and turn them back into the Clan peacekeepers."

"Why did they need you four?" Kurt asked.

"Because, there was one small problem with their plan," Rachel said. "There wasn't anyone close enough to run things. The Clan leadership was all gone. And the closest of the other Clans couldn't get here for hundreds of years. They were too busy."

"Why couldn't they wait?" Puck asked. "Why kidnap you guys instead?"

"The other Clans are fighting an old enemy on the other side of the Confederation," Rachel said. "The Confederation was afraid it would spread to this part of the galaxy and no one would be here to stop it."

"Couldn't the Confederation send someone else?"

"No," Rachel said. "And no, I can't explain why. You wanted the short version. Explaining Confederation politics and rules would take longer than the whole short version. But back to the explanation...

So, they kidnap us, and train us to be these things, which happen to be important Clan leadership positions. And then they offered us a job. They wanted us to recreate the lost Clan. Start out small with a few thousand people, a fleet, an army, intelligence service, with people to run them, and a cultural historian to make sure things are done the Clan way. And, part of that meant taking over the lost Clan lands, and the Clan descendants. When we're done, the Clan should be at the minimum strength needed.

"And then you can turn over this project to someone else and come home," Hiram said, speaking for the first time since dinner.

Rachel sighed, but didn't argue.

"How did they pick you four?" Kurt asked. "That's something that makes no sense. Why didn't they pick someone who lived here already?" He waved his hand towards the lights of the city in the distance.

"Well..." Rachel looked at Brittany.

"Go ahead," Brittany said. "You can tell them."

"Our project facilitator, Artie, has the ability to scan your DNA and see if you're Clan or Clan descended. When they decided to go ahead with the project, Artie scanned the whole planet looking for candidates and noticed something unusual. There were three people in Lima with enough lost Clan blood who were the right age."

"Enough blood for what?"

"All of the Clan equipment and tools are keyed to Clan blood. You have to have a certain amount of Clan DNA before things work for you. Like any of the weapons or spaceships or vehicles. Not enough Clan blood and they don't work."

"Sounds like an old TV show," Puck said. "These evil alien worms had all these fancy weapons that only they could use, though it wasn't some DNA thing."

"Huh," Rachel muttered. "You'll have to tell me about that later. Anyway, it wasn't just that there were three of us in Lima. Artie discovered something else. There was someone in Lima from one of the other Clans. And Clan technology."

"I knew it!" Puck said. "Coach Sylvester! I've always thought she was an alien! No one that strange is from this planet."

"Actually, no, Sue Sylvester doesn't have Lost Clan blood, though she was too old for the plan anyway. They needed us to be teenagers for all of their training to work," Rachel said.

"So, there was a real alien living in Lima?" Puck asked.

"Correct."

"That doesn't add up," Kurt said. "If three of you have enough Clan blood, and Coach Sylvester doesn't have any, why are there four of you?"

"Because one of us is from one of the other Clans," Rachel said.

"Must be you," Puck said. "Since the other three were Cheerios. And I think Coach Sylvester is an alien, even if you claim she isn't one of your type of aliens."

"Makes sense," Mercedes said. "That whole surrogate mother thing was probably faked. Has anyone else ever seen your mother?"

"You met her," Rachel said. "Back in Lima and here. And no comments from the dad gallery," Rachel said quickly.

"She was at dinner tonight" Kurt said. "So, Shelby Corcoran really is your mother?"

"Yup," Rachel said, with a popping sound.

"Shelby was the surrogate my dads hired," Rachel said. "We're working on a relationship. We tried years ago but it didn't work out. Things are going better now."

"And her friend, Quinn's sister, has lost Clan blood, she told us that this afternoon," Kurt said. "So Quinn isn't the alien, though that would explain a lot of things." Santana burst out laughing at that.

"Santana?" Mercedes guessed.

"Nope, my Clan descent is completely documented, down to where they're all buried," she said. "My mother is from here." She patted the porch. "She's got more lost Clan blood than anyone in this room."

"That just leaves you," Kurt said, pointing at Brittany. "You're a real alien?"

"Bingo," Brittany said. "The aliens, or really our AI, Artie, decided there must be something special about them because they were hanging out with someone from one of the other Clans. And that's how it all began."

"So..." Puck said, a little while, and two more beers, later. "You four are running the show. And all of these 'lost' Clan dudes are running around, calling themselves Mayans. Somehow you have to turn them into a real Clan. And it will take years. I get that. But who are all the Clan babes running around? Where did they come from?"

"They're all related to us," Rachel said.

"It was really clever," Brittany said. "They took DNA from each of us, mixed it together with some full strength Clan DNA and grew them."

"So, clones?"

"Oh, no, that's against Confederation rules," Rachel said. "They aren't clones. They're sort of our children."

"Great-great grandchildren," Brittany corrected. "Related but not too closely."

"I think some of them are a bit closer than that," Santana said. "All of my engineers are descended from Shorty here. And the best cooks in the Clan are related to Q-ball, no offence Berry dads."

"None taken," Leroy said, Hiram nodding in agreement. "Excellent cooks all. Once the culinary world discovers them you're going to have a hard time keeping them."

"No one is taking Romana!" Santana said.

"It's okay, San," Brittany said. "She wouldn't leave even if you fired her. I think she has a crush on you."

"It's you I love," Santana said. "I think you need some reminding." Slipping off of Brittany's lap, she pulled her to her feet. "Later people, we needs our private time." Not waiting for an answer, Santana dragged a giggling Brittany off the porch and towards the beach.

"They're still like that after all this time?" Kurt asked.

"More," Quinn said. "That was a bit restrained for them."

"I think it's cute," Rachel said. "I'd like someone like that, for hugs and cuddles, and things."

"I'm all up for 'and things' babe," Puck said.

"Ew, Noah," Rachel said, making a face.

"Okay. Think any of the Clan babes would take a ride on the Puckerman?" Puck said, winking at her. "If they're all related to all of you they should all be top shelf."

"Keep your hands off my troopers," Quinn said, almost growling. "They don't need the minor distraction."

"You wound me," Puck said, dramatically slapping his chest. "The Puckerman is never a 'minor' distraction."

"That's not all I'll do if I find you sniffing around any of my troopers," Quinn said. "And that goes for you too, Finn."

"Me?" Finn said, looking at her in surprise.

"Yes, you," Quinn said. "Don't play innocent with me. I was your girlfriend for over a year. I've seen all your tricks."

"She's got your number, bro," Puck said, laughing at the socked expression on Finns face.

"I take care of my girls," Quinn said.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask about that," Puck said. "All of your Clan are women?"

"So far," Rachel said. "At least for now."

"So, you're all lesbians?" Puck said thoughtfully.

"No," Rachel said. "Why?"

"Just contemplating the possibilities," Puck said, smirking.

"Well, contemplate them in your room," Kurt said. "Some of us would rather not hear about your exploits."

"You're just jealous," Puck said. "The Puckerman gets more than you could ever dream about."

"And on that note, I think it's time to head home," Quinn said. "You coming, Rach?"

"I think I'll stay and talk with my dads for a bit," Rachel said.

"Come on Puck, Finn," Quinn said. "Kurt? Are you and Mercedes okay getting back to the ship?"

"We'll catch the bus in a little bit," Kurt said, Mercedes nodding in agreement.

"Call if you have any problems," she said. "Come on, guys." Standing up, Quinn stepped off the porch, landing in the sand with a quiet thump.

"Later dudes," Puck said, joining her on the sand, Finn reluctantly following.

"She's different," Kurt said, once they'd disappeared down the beach. "And not just in the 'been kidnapped by aliens' way."

"I've gotten used to post-kidnap Quinn," Rachel said, "but yes, she's a bit different. At least her sister seems to think so."

"She doesn't have a problem with whatever your mother and her sister are doing?" Mercedes said. "I'm surprised she hasn't blown up on that one."

"My mother and her sister aren't doing anything. Yet," Rachel said. "They're just really close."

"I don't believe that," Kurt said.

"Me neither," Mercedes said.

"It's none of our business," Rachel said. "So just leave them alone. Yes?"

"Yes," Kurt said. "Old lesbians can be scary," he added. "How'd you deal with that old bag Ellen for a week?"

"Watch the insults, buster," Rachel said. "Ellen isn't bad. Portia keeps her under control. And Portia's family."

"Well, duh," Kurt said.

"Not like that," Rachel said. "Well, not only like that," she corrected herself. "Portia is a distant cousin of Santana's. So, she's related."

"That's a big coincidence," Kurt mumbled. "But I'm still angry with Ellen," he said.

"Why?" Rachel asked. "She's harmless."

"That TV special she did," Kurt said. "It could have been a good thing but she screwed it up. I'm surprised Brittany and Santana even talked to her. They do know about it don't they?"

"Brittany knew and told the rest of us," Rachel said. "They came to an understanding and Ellen apologized to them."

"How'd she find out they're them?" Kurt said. "You'd never have told us if we hadn't come down here."

"We did expect a little effort by you," Rachel said. "No freebies. But, like I said, Portia's family, so the family decided to tell them. Did I mention that Santana's mother and cousin, who was on Ellen also, are Mayan priestesses? They were actually expecting something to happen that day."

"So, Q, you wanted to talk," Puck said, once they were out of sight of the others.

"Yes," Quinn said. "You both understand that Rachel is a very important person, right?"

"She's your bard-person," Finn said.

"Yes, and she doesn't need any distractions from ex boyfriends or well meaning white knights," Quinn said, pointing at each of them to emphasise her point.

"That was years ago," Finn said. "Besides, my mom wants to be a grandmother and I don't think Rachel's ready to be the mother type. She's too busy with this alien stuff. And she seems happy. I just wanted to make sure of that."

"Thanks, Finn," Quinn said, giving him a quick hug. "It's going to be years, if ever, before she has time for a relationship."

"I'm no white knight," Puck protested. "I just look out for my friends."

"That's great Puck, but she's got an army and entire fleet keeping an eye on her. She doesn't need more people protecting her. But a friend who has nothing to do with all of this would be great. She has us, but sometimes she needs something different."

"I can do friend," Puck said, "if that's what she really needs."

"She won't say so, but yes," Quinn said. "Do you guys need a ride back?"

"Nah, the beach goes right by the cruise dock," Puck said. "Come on Finn, the game is probably still on. We can watch the rest of it in the aft lounge."

"What game?" Finn asked.

"Does it matter?" Puck asked.

"No," Finn said.

"Later guys," Quinn said. "We'll see you again before the ship leaves."

"And Artie?" Finn asked. "He's the one who got us tickets."

"And Artie," Quinn said. She stood there for ten minutes after they disappeared down the beach.

"Way to mark out your territory," Santana said, stopping next to her, Brittany holding her hand.

"I wasn't marking anything," Quinn said. "What do you have planned for Artie?"

"I'll think of something," Brittany said. "Some kind of documentary? Or PR piece. It'd be a shame to waste the opportunity. He doesn't reach a large audience but we can fix that."

"If Santana wasn't here I could kiss you," Quinn said.

"I'm not stopping you," Santana said. "You two would be hot together."

"Rachel might not like it," Brittany said.

"You can kiss her also," Santana said. "Don't they say kissing cures everything?"

"That's apples, San," Brittany said. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"How's Coach working out, Q," Santana asked, as they walked up the beach, towards a small clearing behind the hotel.

"Exactly as expected," Quinn said. "All they have to do is see her and they start confessing. I do wonder who spread the rumor that she was a CIA torturer."

"No idea," Santana said, smirking. "Is she going to be at tomorrow's shindig?"

"She wouldn't make any promises," Quinn said. "She did hint that she might be bringing a redhead down from Lima to visit."

"Who?" Santana asked. "Do you know, Brittany?"

"Moi?" Brittany said, grinning. "I might have suggested importing some non-local talent."

"Talented at what?" Quinn asked.

"Many things," Brittany said. "You'll just have to see."

"Sometimes, you know way too much," Santana said.

"That's not a bad thing," Quinn said. "Sometimes, knowing too much is what saves us."