Between complications with the upcoming issue, the launch of the new website and the back and forth to Lily's apartment to see my son, I am exhausted. Andrea has decided to pursue the divorce and stopped all contact with me three days ago.
I scoff, I now have to see my son on the weekends with a mediator or someone from social services present, ridiculous!
A new set of papers arrive this afternoon and unlike with the first set I actually read them. She's not asking for much, child support no alimony and primary custody of little William with arranged visitation for myself.
I have Cassandra cancel all my meetings I'm too defeated to deal with anything right now. If there was any sign that my life had officially imploded it was the twenty or so pages I held in my hand.
I call Leslie to shutdown any stories that may possible start brewing regarding Andrea and I. The next call was to my lawyer and I decide to leave and head home. I enter the townhouse with plans to head straight for the liquor cabinet.
The smell of Chinese stops me at the door and my hand lingers on the knob. Could it be? Did she come back?
I hear footsteps. There are too sets. My heart skips a beat, she's brought Lily here.
It's my girls and my hand flies to my mouth. It had been weeks with no word from them and only a one liner since I last saw them at the hospital. We'll be at Dad's.
"We brought food." Caroline states looking down at her shoes. Cassidy is staring at me her lips downturned. She looks as if she is on the verge of tears.
I rush over to them and engulf them in my arms, "I am so sorry this is my fault." My voice breaks.
"No Mommy, we're sorry," they whisper in unison and I smile, "we forgive you and we're sorry about the things we said," Caroline finished for both of them.
Cassidy was the first to disjoin, "yeah, Dad explained why you and he divorced. He cheated and well, you cheated so things happen. We still love both of you." She gives me a half smile.
I pull her in for another hug. We quickly break at the growling of my stomach. I forgot I hadn't eaten since this morning. I tell them to set the table and I head upstairs making quick work of shedding my suit and heels for a lounge set and bunny slippers Andrea purchased over a year ago.
I join them at the table. We eat in silence and I am glad I have at least half of my family here.
"Mommy?" Cassidy stands her hand on her hip and I am reminded of myself at nineteen when I first revealed my bisexuality to my parents.
"Yes, dear?" I put the chopsticks down finally glad to have a reprieve from the greasy take out. I would need an extra hour of Pilates to combat the few morsels that passed through my lips.
"I know it isn't our place to meddle but I was thinking," she shifts her weight looking upward as if searching for something.
My usually confident first born is reduced to a shy five year in old in a matter of seconds. I smile and encourage her to continue.
She continues, "you love Mom, right?"
"Of course."
"Then you should fight for her. I know you messed up and all but everyone messes up."
"Sweetie," I begin but was stopped by Caroline driving the end of chopsticks into the table.
"Cass is right. You have to fight give it a hell of try then if she decides to move forward with the divorce well at least you can say you did all you could on your end."
She nods at me as if it was all so simple. Although that wasn't the case, I would do whatever it took to get my Andrea back.
I'm behind the wheel speeding to Lily's apartment. I quickly take the empty spot that someone vacated out front nearly rear ending the parked Tesla.
With my lawyer saying Andrea wanted no contact, I know buzzing is out of the question so I turn off the engine leaning into the leather seat. I get out deciding to wait on the sidewalk. The area was busy so someone had to be either going in or out. Somehow my luck is with me and a woman rushes out holding the door for me to grab. She offers a smile and I return it hurrying past her.
I bang on the door like a madwoman.
"Andrea!" More banging on my end. If they don't open I will kick it down. I raise my fist to bang once more when Andrea opens the door.
"Keep it down William is sleeping," she grabs me by the upper arm practically dragging me inside.
"What's all the noise?" She ask Andrea but freezes when she sees me. Her expression falls in seconds and I wonder has she ever considered a career in film.
"What part of no contact do you get?" Lily asks shifting her weight to one leg, "you don't own her. You had your shot you messed up deal with it."
Andrea is silent her arms around her midsection.
"Are you in pain dear?" I ask her.
Lily scoffs, "oh so now you care whether or not she's in pain. I can't believe this, you know what you need to leave Miranda or I'm calling the cops." She pulls the cell from her back pocket.
"Lily, don't; please just give us a few minutes."
Lily looks affronted, "really? After everything she has done you would give her the time of day?"
Andrea grabs Lily's hand giving it a firm squeeze, "Miranda is the love of my life I can't just walk away. I have to give her some benefit of the doubt. She's here. That means something," Andrea's eyes are now on me.
I am touched she still cares for me which is more than I can ever hope for.
Lily rolls her eyes and huffs before grabbing her coat and stomping toward the door she pauses turning around to face the two of use.
"When she fucks around on you again, I won't be there to pick up the pieces Andy. You're on your own with this one."
She opens the door and is over the threshold leaving us alone; the child in me watches the door slam after her and I have an urge to stick out my touch and scream, 'told ya so.'
But I don't choosing to forget about the small battle I just won and focus on what is most important.
"Okay, I am willing to give this, us another shot but..." she pauses looking at the floor before shifting her gaze back to me, "changes have to be made."
"Okay." I nod reaching for her hand.
"For one, counseling. You and I have to go through counseling before I move back in with you. That means I have to see improvement Miranda real prolonged improvement. You have to take this seriously."
"Yes of course my love," I place a kiss on the back of her hand, the request isn't unreasonable and I am more than willing to go. Although I'm not sure how much I'll open up, but I would agree to do high kicks in Times Square nude if I thought it would help the matter and bring her one step closer to being back in my life, to loving me again.
She's watching me carefully now, "second, you have to make us, me, the girls, William a priority. No more missed events and last minute cancellations."
I nod tears stinging at my eyes, I'm not sure how that will fit in with work and the expansion of the magazine to digital and the fashion board I am co-chairing with Anna but I will figure it out. I agree in spite of the doubt bubbling inside of me.
"Yes, you and kids mean everything to me."
She pulls away her hand and stands. She carefully puts distance between myself and her.
"Miranda, this is the most important one of all. You have to leave Runway, it's non-negotiable."
I pale, surely I hadn't heard correctly.
"Leave Runway?" It takes a second to realize I spoke aloud. My mouth and brain are having a disconnect at the moment.
She crosses her arms, "yes, you need to leave Runway in order for this, for our marriage to work. If there is any hope of a second chance then the decision should be simple."
I slowly release the breath I had been holding.
"My love, it's not that simple."
"Why not?"
"Runway is..." I trail off not wanting to say it was my life but it was or had been for over twenty years. I brought that dismal rag of a fashion magazine into a globally recognized brand, "my love I would do anything for you, the girls and William but..." I'm lost for words.
"But not this?" She questions her tone defensive.
"No, not exactly," I sigh, I don't want to lose her and I don't want to lie not again, "how long? When would you like me to resign?"
"Immediately. Today. Call Irv and tell him you quit." She's looking down her nose at me.
I cringe at the mention of his name. He's the reason all this has happened.
I stutter, "I can't quit today I don't...I no longer have his number and me resigning tomorrow would be out of the question it would take a few weeks months even to find a suitable replacement." I state softly. I am only telling the truth. I deleted Irv's number out of both my phones, not that it matters I do know his number by heart, and it would take weeks to get someone acclimated to the position of Editor and Chief.
"Are you fucking serious Miranda? You think I would be comfortable with you working with the man you were fucking behind my back?" She brings both hands up to the side of her temples, "oh my God, I am literally crazy! I thought you wanted to make this work." Her hands are at her sides.
"I am but you are making unreasonable requests of me. I agreed to the counseling and prioritizing family time but leave Runway you are asking too much of me Andrea!" I stand, "I told you Irv and I were over in Italy. I don't interact with the bastard!"
"Yes, but you see him every day! Same damn difference Miranda!"
"No, Andrea they are separate. I only see Irv when absolutely necessary. I have board and budget meetings I have to go to I cannot avoid the man he is my boss!"
"The boss that you were fucking! What part of this don't you get Miranda?"
She sighs throwing up her hands in defeat, "you know what don't worry about. Lily has been right about you all along. I shouldn't have opened the door."
My blood boils at the mention of the woman and I close the distance between herself and I.
"Lily? You two are awfully close. You sure I don't have anything to worry about? You always run over here to her apartment, she knows things about us that she shouldn't. You two have pillow talk after sex?"
I'm answered with a hard slap to my right cheek.
"I hope that is a no."
She's crying now tearing down my resolve; I can do nothing but pull her into my arms. My heart leaps when she doesn't protest.
"I'm sorry Andrea," I whisper into her hair. She's shaking now and I dissolve into tears. We stand past the point our legs begin to cramp and I guide us to the couch. We hold each other and cry some more.
I know what must be done. It was selfish of me to think I could stay at Runway after all that has transpired and expect her to accept it. The request wasn't unreasonable and before I depart and after she is settled in bed I agree to everything without hesitation.
She moves to speak but I silence her. I do not need her input. She has made her demands and I will honor them because I love her and I want this. I want her, my girls, and William. I want my family.
I leave the apartment to find Lily in the hallway I don't know how but I can tell she has been there a while probably listening on the other side of the door. We stare each other down for a moment before she decides to speak.
"You know Andy wouldn't do that to you. Screw around."
I sigh relaxing my shoulders, "I know."
"You made the right choice. Next time you pull this shit best believe Dragon Lady I will fuck you up."
I smirk letting out a small chuckle, I have no doubt that the young woman will make good on her word if there is so much as wind of a misstep on my part.
"I wouldn't expect anything less. You love her." I state; I already know the answer.
She only nods and I watch as she picks up her coat from the floor and head inside.
On my way downstairs I text Leslie the bare minimum, by the time I am to my car she has a press release for me to review in my inbox. Once in the car I call Nigel informing him of the latest and that he can expect to be named the new editor and chief in the morning.
I'm almost certain he has forgotten how to speak until he utters several thank yous in succession. I promise to call him later. I'm excited for my friend but that excitement succumbs to dread as I realize I need to speak to Irv.
I make a detour in the direction of his penthouse.