Penny woke up with a headache.
Which was only made worse by the message on her phone from Dani. 'Can we talk?'
Cursing, Penny mashed her face against the pillow, she knew what this talk would be about and she hated it. Yesterday's party was still too fresh on her mind. But she knew that she needed to face the music.
'Sure, want to call me? I'm going to make breakfast.' She replied and went to do exactly that.
Shitty coffee with no milk, because there was no way in hell she was going to 4A this morning. An even shittier donut and a cup of yogurt with granola and she was set for the morning.
It didn't take long for her phone to ring. After greeting each other and dancing for a couple of minutes around the reason for the call, Penny finally bit the bullet.
"So…you wanted to talk?"
"...Yeah…" Dani cleared her throat and her 'mom voice' made an appearance. "Sweetie, I just wanted to call you because of what happened at the party."
Penny took a drink of the scalding hot coffee, trying to mask the burn of humiliation with the burn of the coffee.
"We know he might be nice to you but…well, Katia felt very uncomfortable, not to mention Carly before that. I don't think he could answer what color her eyes are."
Penny stayed quiet, she didn't make any noise, hoping that the building would collapse and take her along.
"Jon was also put off because of his macho attitude. You know how he feels about that because of his dad…and not to mention how he reacted to Erica's comment about Sheldon and him being similar."
Penny eyed the bottle of wine on top of the fridge. Just one drink. But Sheldon's words about her becoming an alcoholic ring in her head and she decides against it.
"We're just worried. Just know that we're here for you. Okay?"
Penny knew that Dani meant it. She initially met her and the rest through Kurt but they soon became more of her friends than his. And after the breakup it became more obvious whose side they were on.
"I…I'm so confused." Penny choked out. "Leonard is not a bad guy, I swear!"
"I believe you Honey. I do."
"He's nicer than some of the guys I've dated, he's smart and he's got a stable job." Penny started to ramble. "Sure, he can be a bit boring and usually we drink too much when we're together but-"
"Woah, woah, slow down there cowgirl." Dani interrupted her. "Look, I do believe you. But from what we saw he doesn't seem that great of a catch…specially when he's ogling and chasing other women while you're there in the room with him. If he's like that in front of you then I can only wonder how he is on his own."
"It's not-" Penny tried to interrupt but Dani kept going.
"Which makes me wonder. Are you dating him because you want to date him? Or because you feel sorry for him?"
Penny couldn't reply.
"Or is it that you felt obligated to date him?"
Silence on the line.
"Honey, I'm no therapist, but I've been in enough shitty relationships to recognize when others are in the same boat and Penny, darling, your boat looks creaky as shit."
Penny still couldn't say anything.
"Also, some people are wonderful as friends but become nightmares when dating. Boundaries are a fantastic thing."
"I am so confused." Penny finally said.
Dani let out a breath. "Now cowgirl, I'm going to send you a link to a website. I want you to take a quiz. And don't worry, you don't have to give me the results. But maybe it's time for you to take a closer look at your relationship."
"Okay." Penny said in a subdued voice.
"Love you cowgirl."
"I love you too and…thanks Dani."
"Anytime. You'd do the same for me."
The call ended and Penny was left feeling raw. Dani's questions hurt, because Penny couldn't answer them herself.
She didn't truly know why she said yes to dating Leonard.
Her phone pinged and it was a message from Dani with only a link to a site.
' quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E'
"Sheldon Cooper speaking." Sheldon answered his phone as he put away his markers and notebooks. It was almost lunch time and he was preparing to leave his office.
"Hey Sheldon. I'm just calling to confirm that we're still up for tomorrow night." Jon's cheery voice answered him and Sheldon could easily picture the smiling young man.
"Hello Jon. That is correct. Can you confirm that you will pick me up?"
"Yepyep, I'll meet you at four thirty outside your building."
"Excellent. I have already prepared all the materials needed."
"That's great! We can't wait. I was also calling because I wanted to know if you had a favorite soda? I'm doing a grocery run."
Sheldon paused. He shouldn't…but it was not very often that he could indulge in soda. "Mountain Dew please."
Jon laughed. "Same as Brian. Okay cool, we'll be well prepared then. Do you need any healthy snacks or something?"
"Healthy snacks?"
"Yeah, we're going to have chips, pretzels and such, but if you don't eat that I can buy you some bagel chips or baby carrots or something."
"No. Regular snacks will do. Thank you."
"No worries man. Also we're going to order pizza, you cool with that?"
"From where?"
"Giacomo's."
"Excellent, Thursdays nights are usually pizza nights from Giacomo's, so while my usual schedule will be disrupted, a familiar dinner will help maintain a sense of normalcy."
"Great to hear that, I'll see you tomorrow man."
"Goodbye Jon."
Sheldon hung up his phone just as Leonard and the rest approached him outside his office.
"Hey buddy, who were you talking to?" Wolowitz asked him.
Sheldon titled his head. "Do you really want to know?"
"Great question and the answer is no." Wolowitz admitted. "Let's go people, I hear we have a new cute cashier at the cafeteria and it's a crime to deprive her of my charm."
Sheldon followed behind the group as they bantered among themselves. He ignored them and instead focused on his plans for tomorrow.
He would teach them all the basics of the game, but Brian would need special attention. The man was certainly more creative than the rest and seemed to like telling stories. He was the one that had created a scenario for the Fantasy Football league which had prompted Sheldon to tell them about DnD. Brian would make for a good DM.
"Sheldon!" Leonard snapped his fingers and Sheldon realized he was holding up the line.
"Forgive us people, we forgot to change the battery of the robot this morning." Wolowitz told the people behind Sheldon.
Leonard snickered and even Raj smiled somewhat.
Sheldon ignored them and picked his food. By this point in his life, these types of comments no longer affected him.
Lesser minds needed to try and put him down so they could feel better about themselves.
Penny ran a hand through her hair as she went up the stairs.
She had been putting off her talk with Leonard as well as doing the quiz that Dani sent her and instead focused on her auditions and shifts.
Today was Anything-can-happen-Thursday and Leonard had told her that he, Raj and Howard would go play laser tag and then eat burgers. He had invited her but she needed to cover the afternoon shift.
And here she was now, tired as hell and carrying a bag with 2 BBQ burgers. She was certain that Sheldon didn't have dinner yet and she just wanted to spend time with her friend, he always made her feel better.
"Hey Moonpie…dinner…is…here…" Penny entered 4A and trailed off as she looked around at the empty apartment. "What the hell is going on here?" She muttered.
Ever since the guys implemented Anything-can-happen-Thursday it had sort of become 'Penny and Sheldon' night. Except there was no Sheldon.
Quickly checking her phone for any messages and finding none she frowned. It was almost eight thirty in the evening and a sliver of worry made its way into her heart. She dropped the food bag on the counter and sent a quick message to Leonard.
'Where's Sheldon?'
She put her phone away and nibbled at her fingertips thinking about where he could have gone. Laundry? She scoffed, yeah right. Maybe Stuart would know. Her phone interrupted her train of thought.
It was a selfie of Leonard and Raj as they ate burgers with only one piece of text.
'Don't know.'
Penny looked at the selfie again and at Leonard's smile and had the urge to yell at him to get his shit together, his roommate might be missing and there he was eating burgers like it didn't matter to him.
Another ping, but this time from Raj.
'U kall him yt?'
Penny had to close her eyes at that, how could she have forgotten. Making a mental note to thank Raj, she dialed Sheldon's contact and waited.
And waited.
Hearing the ringing stop and someone pick up she let out a breath of relief.
"Sheldon Cooper." He sounded fine, in fact she would say he sounded kind of happy.
"Thank god you're fine! Where are you? Do you need help? Are you still at work?" She said quickly.
"I'm fine. I'm at Jon's house. No. No." Sheldon said calmly.
"Wait? Jon's house? Jonjon?"
"I believe his friends call him that. Yes."
Penny's brain stalled because why the hell was Sheldon doing at Jonjon's house. "But you're okay?"
"Yes."
"...I thought you were going to be here so I got you dinner…" Penny suddenly felt embarrassed. Like she had done something wrong by getting him dinner.
"I appreciate the gesture but Jon ordered Giacomo's pizza." Something shifted in his tone of voice and Penny pounced on it.
"Wait, you're not drinking Mountain Dew right?"
"I have to go now. Jon will drive me home." And he hung up which meant he probably was drinking way more than it was healthy. She could only chuckle.
Grabbing the food she went to her own apartment. It looked like she was having a burger for breakfast. She carefully took out one of the styrofoam containers and set it on her coffee table before moving to put the other one in the fridge.
She went on to open the container and took a bite of the burger, but as she chewed the silence of her apartment started to get a bit too much. When it finally got to be too much she pulled out her phone to watch a video before the high number of unread messages taunted her.
"Ah damn it." She said softly, the girls had tried to contact her.
The initial plan was for them to go dancing but they kept waiting for Penny to reply but she never did so they stayed at Toni's and watched the guys learn to play Dungeons and Dragons.
She quickly finished her burger before calling Dani.
"Hey there stranger, you finally decided to call us huh?" Dani's cheerful voice greeted her.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I had a double shift today and at one point I forgot I owned a phone."
Penny could hear laughter in the background.
"So the dancing plan was a bust?" She asked.
"Yeah, we didn't want to go without you and then Sheldon started teaching the guys and it was kinda fun so we stayed. Carly is a bard!"
Hearing the laughter while Dani spoke made Penny feel even more alone at that moment.
"So a fun night all around?" Penny asked in what she hoped was a cheerful tone.
"Oh yeah. Sheldon said he's free on some Thursdays so the guys are making plans to make this a regular thing, but Brian is going to help Sheldon run it or something."
"Cool, cool. Listen, I gotta go to bed, I have an early shift tomorrow. Sorry about missing the fun."
They quickly said their goodbyes and Penny could have sworn she heard Sheldon's breathy laughter at one point. She let herself fall backwards against her couch. She should be happy that Sheldon was making friends but at the same time she felt sad? And the worst part is that she didn't know why.
Looking to the side she saw her laptop, she pulled it and set it on her stomach before opening it up and right there it was the link that Dani had sent her last week.
"This is stupid." She muttered before clicking on the quiz.
Your partner is very supportive of the things that you do.
Penny has to stop to think about it. While Leonard has never told her to quit acting he has made a couple of comments that make it clear he thinks she's just a waitress. But he does ask a lot about her auditions. She clicked on No before thinking it twice and selecting Yes. She scrolls to the second question before returning and selecting No.
Your partner encourages you to try new things.
Penny frowns in thought, unsure on how this question applies to her. So far Leonard has not acted negatively if she wants to do something. She clicked on Yes.
Your partner likes to listen when you have something on your mind.
Almost on instinct she went on to click Yes but stopped herself. At times Leonard only seemed interested in getting drunk and jumping into bed with her. And after last week's party, it seemed he truly didn't notice how upset she was. She clicked on No.
Your partner understands that you have your own life too.
She clicked on Yes.
Your partner is well liked by your friends.
Penny chewed on her lip before clicking No.
Your partner says that you're too involved in different activities.
Leonard did mention that lately he felt that they were not spending as much time together because of her schedule, but she had her work, auditions, acting classes, gym, her friends and she felt like they spent a lot of time together already. She clicked on Yes.
Penny spent the next 20 minutes answering the quiz and agonizing over every answer, until finally, it gave her a score.
37 points.
She blinked. Okay, that wasn't so bad, she had been afraid of seeing a super high number. Clicking onto the next slide made her rethink her position.
'If you scored 5 or more points, you are definitely seeing warning signs…'
"What the hell…" She muttered, this couldn't be right.
It had to be a mistake.
Sheldon nodded at Jon before entering the building.
Despite what he initially feared, the reality was that he quite enjoyed himself. In a way it had felt like that first time he had learned to play DnD at college.
The group was eager to learn and even some of the girls joined them.
His schedule was terribly ruined beyond any repair…but, it was an acceptable sacrifice.
Sheldon enjoyed playing DnD but his friends refused to play with him as he didn't care much about roleplaying to pretend to seduce a bar maiden or save a princess that would pay with her body. Two of Leonard's favorite tropes.
No.
He wanted to be a warrior. To allow the dice to dictate his fate as he faced monsters and horrors that only existed in fantasy. He wanted to overcome the odds, to get that improbable Nat20 that would make Sheldor a living legend.
His friends didn't know that he kept a journal on his computer as if it was written by Sheldor himself, every adventure, every battle, every failure was there and he was proud of it.
Or he was, until they refused to play with him. But now Sheldor would ride again.
On Anything-can-happen-Thursday.
"That was fun. I honestly wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much." Brian said as he kept reading his copy of the DM book that Sheldon had brought him.
Erica grabbed his sleeve and when he turned to look at her she pressed a finger to her lips and pointed to Carly and Brian had to smile. Carly had been really into it and she had taken seriously the part about creating a background for their characters. Even now she kept writing on the back of her character sheet with a focused look on her face.
"Yeah, I can also see what you guys meant by Sheldon being too direct." Dani grabbed a slice of pizza. "He would make for an awful teacher."
Keith laughed. "In a way he is, he told me that sometimes his University forces him to give classes to undergrads."
"Oh god, those poor souls." Dani grimaced. "Sheldon gets an F on bedside manners but an A on infodumping. I now know far too much about Orcs, Eves and Owlbears."
"You should have accepted the offer of a character sheet. It's really fun." Carly spoke up.
"Nah, not for me. I prefer to watch you guys." Dani took a seat next to Carly and smiled at her.
A comfortable silence fell on the group and it wasn't broken until Jon returned, grabbed another slice of pizza and started talking with Keith about how cool his Paladin was.
"I can't wait for the next session." Jon told Brian as they were saying goodbye.
The fighting started innocuous enough.
In the end Penny refused to follow the advice of the website, she also didn't have that conversation with Leonard about what her friends had mentioned. Which looking back on, was a terrible idea, it festered inside her.
"I'm NOT going to stop going to the gym!"
"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that…other men look at you too much."
Penny wasn't innocent either.
"Could we please talk about anything else other than your laser or your work or whatever you think it's interesting?"
"Sure, how about we talk about your auditions? Oh, what's that? You haven't had one in a month? Maybe if you were a real actress!"
Drop by drop the cup filled with poison.
"Maybe you could change? We're going to the movies, not to a strip club."
"Fuck you Leonard."
Until they forgot how to even be friends.
"I hate you so much!"
"Then why don't you break up with me huh?" Leonard looked smug as he asked her that.
Penny dropped heavily on her couch and looked at the floor.
"God Leonard…what happened to us?" She covered her face with her hands. "I'm not happy." She looked at him.
For a moment it looked like Leonard would start yelling again but he deflated into a chair and rubbed his eyes without fully taking off his glasses.
"I don't know. I'm sorry…But we can try again! We can't give up!" He animatedly told her that. And he sounded so convincing that she almost believed him.
"No Leonard, we can't."
"Yes we can! Look, I know that things haven't been great these past couple of months, but-"
"Leonard." She said seriously. "We've been dating for 3 months."
He looked confused, he couldn't see why that was important.
"3 months. Only our first month was without issues and I'm stretching the truth there. C'mon Leonard! We're going to end up hating each other."
"No we're not! I can swear that." He faced her with a determined look on his face. "I know that we can make this work. I know it as I know the sun will come out tomorrow."
"How?" Penny asked, honestly.
"I…We can try again, from scratch!" He looked desperate. "Let's reset this to zero, we can pretend as if nothing happened, except this time whenever an issue arises we can talk about it so we can compromise and-"
"What's the compromise for you not wanting me to go to the gym anymore?" Penny felt exhausted, is this what a relationship is supposed to be? She never felt this drained of life, not even with Kurt.
"That's a good example!" Leonard stood up and started pacing. "You can…you can…you can find a girl's only gym!" He dared to smile proudly as if it was a real solution to the issue.
"I will not. How about instead you go to therapy to deal with your jealousy issues?" She said as gently as she could.
Leonard's face turned ugly before he schooled his features back into a quasi-smile. "I don't, I don't think it's an issue. I just want-What's wrong with not wanting other guys to hit on you? Could it be because you like it?" He said challenging her.
"This is the shit I'm talking about Leonard. Who is hitting on me exactly? Huh, who?"
"Don't be naive! Guys, the sweaty neanderthals that go to the gym."
"My friends you mean?"
"Ah…no, not them. You know what I meant."
"No I don't. In the six years I've been going to the gym, do you know how many times I've been hit on?"
"I-"
"Four times. Four fucking times. And each and every time I've said no. Because that's what this is about right? You think I will say yes to someone hitting on me."
Leonard grabbed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes before settling the glasses back on his face. "You don't get it."
"What?"
"You don't get what it is to be me! I have to wonder every time you go out if you're going to find someone to replace me with. Someone that can go to the gym, that likes football, that is not a nerd." His chest heaved.
Penny's heart broke, for the both of them.
"God Leonard…that's messed up." She had to close her eyes to not cry.
"Penny. Girls like you don't go for guys like me. I…I thought you would understand…" He said pathetically.
"What you're-" Her voice broke and she had to clear her throat a couple of times before continuing. "What you're telling me, is that you expected me to stop dressing the way I dressed, stop doing the things I liked, stop going to places where anything with a dick might be…so that YOU could feel secure?"
"When you put it like that it sound bad, but-"
"You wanted me to be a doll. My only purpose would be for you to parade me around and once back here I needed to open my legs and then I would go right back into my box for the next time you wanted to play with me."
"I didn't say that!" Leonard threw his hands up.
"But that's what you expected right?"
Leonard once again removed his glasses, sat down tiredly on the chair and looked at her with unfocused eyes.
"What do you want from me Penny? Tell me and I'll do it. But don't tell me that I should not react when someone tries to take something of mine."
"SomeTHING of yours?" Penny laughed in disbelief. "Are you listening to yourself?"
"Don't try-"
"No, no, no. Listen to yourself Leonard. Please, for the love of god, listen to yourself."
To his credit, Leonard actually stopped talking and seemed to be reflecting on the conversation so far. After a long time he sighed and put back on his glasses.
"Penny. I…I didn't mean it like that. You know that."
"That's the thing Leonard, I no longer know." She wanted to curl up and cry. "We should break up. Try to recover our friendship."
"Break up?! Don't give up on us. Love can conquer everything, we can go to-"
"I'm tired Leonard. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you. I can't mention that I got a tip without asking if it was a man. I can't go to the gym without dreading your reaction. I can't even smile randomly without you looking at me suspiciously." She covered her eyes with her hands. "I'm not happy Leonard."
"...you're not happy with me, you mean." He sounded defeated.
"...yeah…" She couldn't lie, not about this.
"But I love you!" He sounded desperate.
"I don't think you do."
"Excuse me?! How dare you?"
"Leonard…I took a quiz about our relationship that made me rethink some of the things I had overlooked. One of my friends put me in contact with a counselor…I've been talking to them and-"
"Of course! It was your friends! Can't you see that they're trying to separate us?"
"I used to like you Leonard. I really did, I miss the you that was my friend." Penny felt calm.
"So after all I've done this is it?!" Leonard went back to pacing. "I had to watch from my door as you had a parade of endless one-night stands while I wished you would turn to look at me! But no, you prefer to be treated like shit by people like your ex-boyfriend instead of someone like me."
"What does Kurt or my dates have to do with this?"
"Everything! Why would you sleep around so much if you weren't looking for Mr. Right? Well, let me tell you, he's me, I'm right here!"
"My sex life was never a secret Leonard."
"Oh trust me I know, I still have the calendar where I marked each night you didn't bring a man home."
Penny began feeling something she had never felt towards Leonard. Disgust.
"If you think I'm a slut, then why did you want to date me?"
"Because I love you! Why can't you understand that?!" Leonard had tears in the corner of his eyes. "I deserve you. After all the shit I've gone through, I deserve the hot blonde girl!"
Penny reeled back, as if he had slapped her.
"So I'm a prize? Because of what you went through. Because you think life somehow owes you my pussy?"
"Yes! No! I mean…fuck, that's not what I meant." He took a deep breath. "This is not coming out the way I want it to. Look, all I'm saying is. Don't throw away our love. Our future. I'm certain that in twenty years down the line you'll be looking back on this moment and will thank god that you didn't give up on us." He smiled encouragingly at her.
"Get out Leonard." Penny felt like an idiot. "We're done."
The smile fell from Leonard's face and he shook in place, she didn't know if it was in anger or impotence. Tears fell from his eyes one after the other but he didn't make a noise. Using the sleeve of his jacket he swiped at his face.
"You're making a huge mistake." He finally said in a shaky voice.
"I think I'm finally correcting it."
He left without another word, slamming her door on the way out and slamming his door on the way in.
She sat there for a moment, feeling too much.
Her head hurt like a bitch and she was sure that once the shock wore off she would be crying her eyes off. She didn't want to move, the sounds of her apartment loud now in the sudden silence.
The ticking of her Hello Kitty clock loud and clear. The rattling of her window imitating the way her hands were shaking.
She had wanted to recover their friendship, but after that talk, well, she wasn't sure that she wanted him as a friend at all.
Penny let her head fall backwards against the backrest and just stared at the ceiling, little by little her vision got blurry until she was crying in earnest.
What a goddamn mess.
Sheldon sat at his desk, he was preparing for next week's session and Sheldon was ready to hand over the campaign entirely to Brian. These would be the last notes Sheldon would prepare for him.
If he were to be honest, Sheldon was looking forward to it.
He had been right, Brian had all the makings of a great DM and the young man thrived in the role. In the last 2 sessions Sheldon had taken a step back and Brian stepped up fully on the role.
His musings were interrupted by the slamming of his front door. Sheldon jumped in his chair and turned to look at a recently arrived Leonard.
Red eyes, tears, ugly twist of the mouth, shaking hands.
Sheldon sighed.
"Not a fucking word Sheldon." Leonard said testily.
"I'll wear my ear plugs so you can play your 'emo' music in your room." Sheldon turned back to his computer.
"You think this is funny? You want to rub my face in the fact that you knew this would happen, don't you? Because a nerd like me could never get a girl like Penny."
"I'm confused, you want to discuss this?"
"Forget it…" Leonard moved towards his room.
"Oh, before you retire. Allow me to clarify that your so-called 'nerd' status has nothing to do with the reason for your breakup."
"What? How?!"
"Well, the reasons for your breakup are rooted in your insecurity complex, jealousy issues, oedipal complex as well as your unwillingness to address the aforementioned issues in therapy in a useless attempt to spite your mother."
"...I…" Leonard chuckled darkly. "Yeah…you might be right." Leonard moved to go to his room before stopping again. "I think I need to move out."
Sheldon was startled but before he could say anything, Leonard moved further into the hallway and into his room.
Leonard softly closed the door behind him.
"Buddy, are you sure you want to move out? I mean, I'm happy to have you here but it just seems…" Howard trailed off.
"Drastic?" Raj added.
"Yeah, that's it. Drastic." Howard nodded in thanks to Raj.
Leonard was sprawled on the plastic covered couch in the middle of the Wolowitz's living room. After telling Sheldon he wanted to move out Leonard had wanted to stay in his room but the temptation to go and beg Penny to take him back was too much, instead he had grabbed some clothes and drove directly over to Howard's.
"You don't get it Howard, you've never truly ever been in love." Leonard took a swig of beer. "Penny was the one for me. Why can't she see that?"
"Okay, first, ouch. I'm going to find someone, don't worry. And second, c'mon man, she was never going to stay with you. You're a nerd! Penny is a golden haired goddess that lost her reason for a moment and dated you, but she belongs with muscle heads like that ex-boyfriend of hers."
"I don't know dude…it sounds like you brought out the worst in each other." Raj added.
"So you agree with her. I'm an asshole for not wanting her to be hit on?" Leonard narrowed his eyes at Raj.
"Yeah. That's a 'You' issue, not a Penny issue. She told us time after time how much it messed her up to find out that Kurt cheated on her. For over two years we saw her date and never cheat. Why would you think she'd cheat?" Raj didn't back down.
Leonard huffed. "You don't get it. You can't even talk to girls."
"No, no. Raj has a point. Why were you with Penny if you thought she was going to cheat on you?" Howard pushed back as well.
"Et tu? C'mon Howard, you know how it is."
"I truly don't. Please tell me."
Leonard downed the rest of his beer before replying. "Girls like Penny never lack options, okay? Me? I'm lucky if the mail lady gives me the time of the day. I needed to protect Penny."
Leonard didn't miss the look shared between his friends and it only made him angrier.
"Don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about!"
Howard raised his hands in defeat. "Then why were you never like this with…" He trailed off, probably trying to remember a girl that had stayed with Leonard for longer than three months. "Oh, Leslie. Why were you never like this with Leslie?"
Leonard grabbed another beer from the coffee table and took two big gulps before replying. "Because it was Leslie." He said it in a mocking tone of voice. "Leslie is like us, she knows it…also she's not parading around in tank tops and pajama shorts." He muttered the last part bitterly.
"Woah, woah, not cool dude." Raj stood up and looked at Leonard in shock. "You and Leslie had a good thing, that you gave up due to your obsession with Penny."
"I thought you liked Leslie?" Howard asked.
"I did. I do…but…Leslie is never going to turn heads, if I enter a room with Leslie no one is going to bat an eye. But man…you should have seen the looks on people's faces when they saw me enter with Penny." Leonard raised his hand with the bottle in a mock salute. "I was the man."
"So I'm guessing you never knew about Leslie's little fan club?" Howard asked.
"Wait what? What fan club?" Leonard frowned.
"Oh you know, some of the guys from Engineering as well as some of the Geologists have this little fan club for Leslie. It's not creepy or anything, they actually celebrate when she posts a new paper and they're the ones helping her hog all of the lab time so Sheldon doesn't get anything."
"Who is in it?" Leonard asked.
"Davidson, Sanchez, Hunter-"
Leonard scoffed. "Hunter is delusional if he thinks he can get with Leslie."
"I heard they've gone on a couple of dates actually." Raj said casually.
"What! Hunter? Ha ha, very funny guys. Hunter is a glue eater that can't even fix a laser." He narrowed his eyes at nothing while thinking.
"Okay, so it's not just Penny that brings this side of you out." Raj shook his head. "You were thinking of calling Leslie or going to her house or something right?"
"...no…" Leonard said sullenly.
"This is what I'm talking about dude!" Raj said exasperatedly.
"Whatever." Leonard downed his beer. "I thought you were supposed to be my friends."
Howard and Raj stayed with him all night and didn't let him call anyone.
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Penny"
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Penny"
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Penny"
Penny had just finished washing her face and was moving to grab the bottle of vodka hidden behind a cereal box when Sheldon's knocks startled her. She chewed on her lip and considered not opening the door but in the end she thought that Sheldon deserved to tell her 'I told you so'.
"Whatup Moonpie?" Penny said, trying to sound cheerful.
Sheldon blinked at her, frowned for a moment, glanced at the cupboard where she kept the alcohol and then turned to look back down at her, all done in a second.
"Would you mind if I brew a cup of tea? I seemed to have run out." His face twitched and Penny couldn't help but smile.
"Sure, knock yourself out." She moved out of the way and dropped heavily on the couch.
Penny entertained herself watching as Sheldon quietly moved in her kitchen. Even as oblivious as he was, he must have noticed her puffy face and slightly hoarse voice.
In no time she had a hot cup of tea in front of her. She hadn't asked for one but it made her happy that Sheldon in his own way showed that he cared.
They sat in silence and Penny enjoyed the company and the warm drink.
"Penny. Do you know why I enjoy routines so much?" Sheldon suddenly said, breaking the comfortable silence.
She shook her head.
"The natural state of the universe is chaos. Both in macro and micro, chaos reigns supreme. Even now as we sit here there are stars exploding and being born. Black holes eating away entire star systems. It's…maddening. At a young age I was faced with this truth and the only way I found myself less terrified of it all was to control as much as I could. If I had control over my life then I could keep the chaos at bay."
Penny wished that Sheldon had sat next to her on the couch instead of at 'his spot' in her apartment. She put her feet up and curled as best as she could while listening to Sheldon.
"Chaos happens every day in our regular lives. People appear and disappear." Sheldon looked into his cup and she wished she could glimpse at whatever memory he was seeing. "As much as I would like to not be part of it, I have to accept that humans as a whole are a part of this chaos process. Even now, how many people are leaving each other, due to break ups or death. How many more will be born that will never know about you or me? It's terrifying. But routines help me focus on the things I have…on the friends I have."
"Am I your friend Moonpie?"
"Of course." Not a moment of hesitation. "Penny. We face chaos every day. For a long time I thought I was facing it alone. But not anymore."
Penny cried again that night. His words shouldn't have been as comforting as they were.
They were going to be okay.
Leonard moved out pretty quickly after that night. His name wasn't on the lease and he didn't want to be there for when Penny brought her rebound one-night stand. It would kill him.
Thankfully, Howard had let him crash in his spare bedroom for a couple of nights until he found his own place.
He had expected Sheldon to bitch much more about him moving out and not being there to drive him, but it seemed that he had somehow convinced Raj to become his new chauffeur.
Not living in Los Robles meant that he wasn't a slave to Sheldon's routine and now they could do whatever they wanted…which turned out to be not that much. They still went with Sheldon to the comic book store but other than that, Leonard was left adrift.
Howard only wanted to go out clubbing or play WOW for 10 hours straight. Raj wanted to go to McDonalds every night and if he had to sit through Twilight again then he was going to lose his mind.
In a weird way, he missed the routine.
"Come here cowgirl." Dani opened her arms as she stood up from the little cafe table.
Penny ran into the embrace like a little kid after falling down and hurting themselves.
"I'm so stupid." She mumbled against Dani's chest.
"We all are. Now, come, talk to me."
Dani had already ordered a lemonade for Penny and she took a long drink before finally telling Dani what exactly went down last night.
"-and I don't know…I guess I just feel like an idiot. I shouldn't have overlooked so many things. I mean, how can we even continue to be friends after that?"
Dani hadn't interrupted her at all but she did hold Penny's hand.
"It sounds like maybe you weren't even friends."
"That's not…I hope that's not true. Me and Leonard, we had fun before. He liked Tarantino movies as well and…and I guess I want to think he liked me for more than my body."
Dani sighed. "It would be really easy for me to tell you that you dated a monster and that he sucks and we should go kill him and bury his body in the desert. But he just sounds like a guy that never got over his mom not paying him enough attention and has an unhealthy view on what relationships are. He might have been an okay friend but he sucked as a boyfriend."
Dani scratched at her chin in thought.
"I still don't know why you dated him. Do you think you have the answer to that?"
Penny looked into her glass and shook it so the ice made a clinking noise.
"I don't know…he…was there, and he seemed so nice, so harmless. I was flattered by the attention, I mean, two years had passed since we met and he still chased after me right? I was thinking that maybe it could work."
"Did you have feelings for him?"
"I mean…no? But I thought they would appear in time after a while."
"Okay Pen, you're a dumbass. But at least that's done with. I will kick your ass if you get back together with him though."
Penny laughed, embarrassed. "Can't say that it hasn't crossed my mind since last night. Maybe I was too harsh, maybe I really did something bad…but then I remember how he basically called me a thing and it passes."
Dani chewed her lip and looked at her hands before looking at her straight in the eye.
"Do you remember Patrick? I broke up with him around the same time you broke up with Kurt."
Penny tried to remember and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I do. I was too much of a mess because of the Kurt thing so I think I never asked about it."
Dani took a deep breath. "No one else in the group knows this but Patrick had started to be rough with me."
Penny suddenly had trouble swallowing and she started sweating.
"Never in the face, but he would poke me really hard with his fingers like this and under the ribs." Dani made the gesture and showed her. "It started as playful, just a couple of taps but then he started doing it when he thought I had done something wrong, or looked at another man."
Penny could see Dani's eyes mist and her voice break a little, this time it was Penny holding her hand.
"Most of the time it was good, you know. He made me laugh and everyone liked him, but when we were alone it was like a switch had flipped and I had to wonder if maybe it was because of something I had done or said. I started to think that it WAS my fault…"
Dani grabbed a napkin and swiped at her eyes.
"That counselor you spoke with? She's the one that got me through. I had tried to leave him so many times but these people, they have a way of burrowing into your brain and eroding your self worth and confidence that makes you think you're nothing without them."
Penny moved her chair and put it next to Dani's so she could hug her.
"Thank you for telling me." Penny said softly.
"Thank you for listening." Dani said just as softly.
Penny closed her eyes and thanked god for having amazing friends, who knows where she'd be without them.
Penny opened her door to see a fidgeting Leonard on the other side. She hadn't expected this, it had been only a couple of days since the breakup and they were both avoiding each other like the plague.
"What do you want, Leonard?" She tried to keep an even tone of voice but it still came out more aggressive than she wanted.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm moving out."
"Oh…okay."
"Just okay? I-no, no. I still think you're being unfair and-"
"Goodbye Leonard." She closed the door, gently but firmly.
Life without Leonard in it was strangely the same. It was mostly just her and Sheldon but Raj also made sure to come around often enough.
"Wow, I can't believe that Jonjon's character could die just like that!" Penny opened the door for their building. They were returning from Jon's house, the first Anything-can-happen-Thursday since Sheldon started living alone.
"It is both the ugly and the beautiful side of the game, sometimes the dice just aren't in your favor. But next game we should be able to revive him…if Brian allows it of course." Sheldon nodded pensively.
"Man, I think I want to get in on the game." And she meant it.
"I'll be happy to show…" Sheldon trailed off looking at the elevator shaft. He then turned and looked at all the walls. "Penny, do you see a crack here?" He pointed.
"Hmmm, oh! Yeah." She pointed at it.
Sheldon frowned but said nothing, he moved up the stairs to the next floor and looked at where the crack would be but she didn't see anything.
"Sheldon, should we worry about the building suddenly collapsing?" She asked nervously.
"Highly unlikely, this is most likely cosmetic damage…"
"Most likely?" Her voice was high.
"...perhaps we should let the administrator know."
Of course Sheldon had the guy on speed dial, one frantic call after and there were several people swarming their building looking for infrastructural damage.
Penny couldn't sleep well that night, afraid that the building might collapse on her. "I was only joking god." She muttered at one point during the night.
Next morning as she's having her coffee at 4A she's freaking out a little.
"I mean, what are we supposed to do if it's not cosmetic?" She gestured with her cup. "It's not like I'm going to be able to find a cheaper place, not this size, that's for sure."
Sheldon continued eating his cereal. Way too calm for her taste.
"Why aren't you freaking out? You should be freaking out."
"The administrator called. It's cosmetic damage." He said calmly.
"Oh…you should have told me." She slapped his shoulder.
"Penny, may I remind you that I bruise easily?" He rubbed at his shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Okay I'm going to go, I have the breakfast shift and Raj is probably already on his way. I'll see you later."
"Before you go. This situation has made me consider a possible change. I had originally thought about proposing that we become roommates. However, Brian mentioned that it might not be a good idea due to your failed relationship with Leonard."
Penny could only gape at Sheldon.
"My lease is almost about to expire so I was wondering. Would you like to be my roommate in a different building?"
Penny frowned at Sheldon. "Bazinga?"
Sheldon shook his head. "It would make sense." He yawned, as if this was just a regular conversation. "I don't want to find a new roommate that has to learn the routine and you wouldn't have to spend so much on rent."
Penny moved to sit back down. She was trying to find a reason to not do it but was coming up empty. At least until she thought back on her dating life.
"I'm not saying yes, but how would it work. I might want to bring a date back at one point."
"The roommate agreement accounts for such occasions. At least a six hour warning before someone spends the night and I will have no complaints."
Penny gave him a look.
"I meant, no complaints about the arrangement, I will still complain if your date touches my things, sits in my spot or otherwise makes themselves a nuisance for me."
She nodded, that sounded more like Sheldon.
"Given that the damage to the elevator shaft was only cosmetic in nature, I do believe that we're not under a strict time limit. My lease expires in 45 days which should give you plenty of time to think it through."
"And if my answer is no?"
Sheldon sighed. "I suppose I would start searching for a new roommate."
Penny slapped her thighs and moved to stand up. "Okay, I have a shift and you need to get to work. We'll talk about this later because I love you Honey, but I don't know if we could live together."
She left for work and spent the rest of her shift thinking about actually going through with it. It's not like she's not familiar with the Sheldon Cooper brand of crazy but this would be an entirely different thing.
On the other hand, would it really be that different? She's already familiar with the routines, the requests, and driving him around. She knows how to calm him down and get along with him.
Two years ago? She would have killed him in the first week of them living together.
Her shift ended without her being able to reach a clear answer so she did the only thing she could. She called Dani.
"Hey cowgirl. Whatsup?"
"I need some advice. Sheldon asked me to move in with him and-"
"Woah! Woah! Woah! Hold on! You only broke up with Leonard last week. This is too sudden. I know he loves you but no! This is too much and too sudden."
Penny realized how it sounded and she backtracked immediately. "Nononononono, not like that. I meant as roommates. His lease is about to run out and, well, he needs a roommate."
"Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…okay, you almost gave me a heart attack there." Dani sighed loudly.
She spent the better part of her afternoon on the phone with Dani while trying to figure out the pros and cons of living with Sheldon.
"I wouldn't have to clean much, Sheldon does it for fun."
"Wait, seriously?...And he has a stable job…"
"Don't. He doesn't work like that."
"You'd be surprised. You know how they say nerdy girls are the kinkiest? I found the same applies to nerdy guys."
"Then Sheldon must be the kinkiest. Now, be serious."
It wasn't until she was preparing for bed that Penny thought back on something Dani had said. 'I know he loves you.' She shook her head, nah, she probably misheard.
Brian pulled Sheldon aside and at the questioning look from Jon he said "DM business." Which made everyone back down, it was one of their breaks in the session and Brian pulled Sheldon to the backyard so no one could hear them.
"So?" Brian asked.
"I'm sorry. I'm supposed to understand what that question is referring to?" Sheldon looked honestly confused and Brian almost smacked himself in the head.
"Sorry, forgot I was talking to you. I mean, have you expressed your feelings for Penny?" Brian tried to imitate Sheldon's way of speaking.
Sheldon widened his eyes and looked around, afraid someone might have heard them. "I would rather we don't talk about this in earshot of the rest."
"They're conspiring against us, don't worry." Brian waved his concerns away. "Penny is free now, she's no longer dating your roommate and you have the chance to…yeah, I was going to say shoot your shot but it sounded wrong."
"No. You yourself said that it was a 'scummy' move to approach a girl when she's emotionally vulnerable." Sheldon did the air quotes.
"I mean, yes. Yes it is. BUT! You gotta show your hand a little, let her know you're interested…" Brian trailed off, a sudden realization making him freeze in place. "Wait. Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?"
"No. I always found them messy and useless." Sheldon deadpanned.
"Until Penny?" Brian needed to make sure.
"...Penny is intriguing…" Not a declaration of love.
"Okay, I'm asking because I was about to give you unsolicited advice. But it sounds like you're fine staying friends with her. So, I'm not going to butt in." Brian stretched, sitting for so long was not doing his back any favors. "Let's go back in."
"Besides Penny, there's only one other thing that intrigues me and that is Physics."
Brian stopped and looked back at Sheldon. The tall man was looking up at the night sky with a peaceful look on his face. Okay, so maybe it had been a declaration of love after all.
"I'm going to need a straight answer here Sheldon because I want to make sure that I'm not going to mess up. You want to date Penny?"
"I suppose courtship is not as outlandish as I once thought." His eyes were still focused on the stars above them.
Brian scratched at his eyebrow trying to decide if this was Sheldon-speak for 'Yes, I want to date Penny.' or not.
"Screw it. Alright, I'll help you." Brian hoped this wasn't a bad idea.
"Very well. I do believe this concludes the drafting of the new roommate agreement." Sheldon stood up from his spot and went to move towards the printer.
Penny rubbed at her eyes tiredly. She couldn't believe that she had said yes to being roommates with the Wackadoodle, and she especially couldn't believe they had just spent four hours crafting the new version of the roommate agreement.
She had feared that he would try to sneak in stuff just to mess with her but much to her surprise the document had been pretty straight forward.
She didn't even have to be his driver, Raj had been granted that pleasure. Of course she still had to drive him to the mall and the supermarket and in case of medical emergencies but she thought it was fair.
"Please sign here." Sheldon was back and he handed her the contract which she reviewed once more before signing it.
Penny suddenly laughed. "We already have a contract in place but haven't decided on a place to live."
"Oh, that's right. Thank you for reminding me. Considering the amount of rent you currently pay, plus the services as well as the current distance to our respective jobs, not to mention the average expenditure in gas. I have selected these three options." As he spoke, Sheldon moved towards his desk and removed 3 folders that he handed to her. "All three are approved by me. You can find in each file a report detailing the exact amount of rent we will have to pay, distance to our jobs, etcetera."
Penny opened the first file and almost immediately discarded it. Eight floor. No thank you.
The second file held more promise. It was in Bellefontaine, a two bedroom apartment unit. Penny's eyebrows went higher and higher the more she read. Just a block away from the hospital, it had a covered patio, it was larger than 4A, it had its own washing room and a pool that was shared with the other units, which were only four. Each unit held only two apartments and theirs would be the one on the second floor. Her rent would be pretty much the same.
Penny almost didn't want to look at the third folder, but she forced herself to stop and moved to open the last file.
She frowned as she read. This apartment was at a basement level, it was a little smaller than 4A and while it was still pretty close to their jobs, it just didn't make sense why Sheldon would choose this one. At least, it didn't make sense until she got to a specific part 'Built around the Del Mar Station of the Gold Line, Haven is the perfect intersection of convenience and comfort. Easily access greater Pasadena from the rail line on-site'
Of course, trains.
No, she had made her choice. Picking up the second folder she handed it to Sheldon. "This, it's the perfect one."
Sheldon nodded but looked forlorn at the third folder. "I'll make the arrangements."
Penny smiled cheekily at him. "We're roomies now."
She could have sworn that Sheldon smiled back at her, but it was gone before she could fully tell.
Moving sucked ass.
So many boxes and so much crap to throw away. How was it possible that she had five pairs of slippers and only two were in a wearable state, the others were ratty and smelled like hell.
As the movers pick up her couch, several empty bottles roll out and Penny quickly picks them up. It happens again with the bed and she makes a vow to herself to slow down on the drinking.
They're going to be using her furniture because it turns out that most of the furniture at 4A belongs to Leonard, but according to Raj he still hasn't found a place to move in to, so the movers are going to come back tomorrow and take it to the Wolowitz's garage.
While moving out is hell, moving in is heaven.
Penny has fun decorating the place, making sure that the place says 'Here lives Sheldon and Penny.'
She chooses the smallest bedroom, it makes her feel safe and she doesn't have as much crap as Sheldon does.
His whiteboards go near the entrance to the kitchen, where the largest window is. Her couch fits almost perfectly in front of the heater disguised as a chimney, and once they purchase a wall stand for the TV, it will go right there.
They have a clear view of the balcony sitting on the couch.
She moves a chair out to the covered patio and simply admires the skyline while Sheldon fiddles with the couch, trying to find his new spot. No one can look in from the outside thanks to the high walls on either side of the patio and the only entrance is from their apartment so Penny feels safe to nod off outside. At least until Sheldon poked her so she could go to bed properly.
Home. What a funny word.
Nebraska had been home.
4B had been home.
And now this was also home.
Home.
What a nice word.
"Buddy, I appreciate that you're paying me rent but…well, it's been a couple of months and your stuff is kinda making the garage look like a hoarder's paradise." Howard was at the end of his rope.
"I still haven't found a good place Howard." Leonard muttered.
"C'mon buddy. Even Sheldon moved out into a new place and you can't find a place you like?" Howard threw his hands up in frustration.
"Sheldon is not human, he's probably living in a room surrounded by other computers." Leonard rolled his eyes.
"I don't know, Raj says that it's really nice. Apparently Penny set up a little art corner on their patio and she's been painting these-Ouch!" Howard pushed Leonard after he had grabbed his arms roughly. "What the hell man?!"
"You said 'their'." Leonard narrowed his eyes. "Not 'Sheldon's' or 'his', you said 'theirs'."
Howard rubbed at his arms. "Yeah, theirs. They live together."
Leonard dropped heavily on a chair and Howard had to roll his eyes at the drama happening right in front of his eyes.
"Cut the crap Leonard. It's Sheldon and Penny. Nothing is happening."
Leonard rubbed at his face in frustration. "You don't get it yet. They always had their little thing. Sheldon had all these unbreakable rules and routines and who was the only one that was the exception?"
"Look, It's been months since you broke up with Penny-" Leonard interrupted him.
"SHE broke up with me."
Howard was in no mood for one of Leonard's moods. "Whatever. The point is, even if for some unfathomable reason we slipped into a universe where Sheldon Cooper PhD has a libido, he's not going to get it on with Penny."
"...Where are they living now?"
"And that's my cue to leave. I know you have issues, we all have, it's why we're friends. But yours are moving from slightly charming into 'you're going to end up on a list'." Howard patted Leonard on the shoulder. "Let it go man. Go try and find a one-night stand or something."
Howard quickly moved to his moped, he was meeting Raj and he was going to warn his buddy on the latest crazy news…and to tell him to never tell Leonard where Penny was living now.
Leonard watched as Howard left. His leg bounced quickly in frustration and his head filled with unwanted images.
Grabbing his keys, he left Howard's home and drove aimlessly for twenty minutes before stopping to put gas on his car. After paying for a bottle of rum inside the gas station store he looked up to see a familiar face get into her car.
He froze in place and his heart stopped.
The person that had been behind him pushed him aside and that finally made him react. He quickly got into his car, dropped the bottle on the passenger seat and followed the familiar car. He didn't want to miss her but he was too far behind.
He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel in a nervous dance, he cursed when he realized the stoplight was against him so he floored it and prayed there were no cops or cameras around.
His gamble worked and now he was closer, his heart stopped beating so hard, he would not miss her now.
Leonard looked at the streets surrounding him and tried to memorize them, finally after what felt like too long, the car he was chasing parked outside an apartment building, fate was on his side as was able to find a parking spot almost right away. He almost grabbed the bottle but decided against it.
She was locking her car when Leonard arrived in front of her, his breathing was a little short and he patted his pocket, making sure that he had his inhaler.
She looked confused and looked around before a familiar frown settled on her face, she didn't look happy to see him.
"Ho-" Before she could finish her question, Leonard went up to her and kissed her. Hard.
He was afraid that she would reject him, push him away, punch him or knee him in the groin but Leonard smiled into the kiss when she was the one to deepen it. One of his hands moved to cup her ass and she moaned into his mouth.
One of her hands had grabbed at his neck and was trying to push them even closer. Finally, when the need for oxygen was too much, he broke the kiss.
"Wow, what got into you?"
"I'm just really happy to see you Leslie." He tried to give her his best charming smile.
"Get back here Hofstadter." Leslie grabbed him by the front of his jacket and kissed him again.