Author's note: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 19: Running

"So, there may be four more of these red eyed things?" Emmett asked, obviously trying to move on from my callous comment. I tried to catch Edward's eye but he looked away.

"Edward, I" I started

"It's fine," he said, waving a hand then getting up to take a seat next to Jasper who handed him a newly rolled joint.

Alice caught my eye, shaking her head and mouthing, "Not fine."

"I know," I mouthed back.

Something was already wrong between me and Edward. He obviously didn't want to be alone with me, suggesting that we play Warhammer instead of picking up where we left off this morning. He was feeling pressured…rushed. He hadn't even touched me since we got home. Now I had to fuck up and be insensitive about his time as an agent.

I glanced at Rose but she didn't look up from filing her pointed red nails. I couldn't be the only one that thought that was some creepy shit…right? These weren't just regular agents. Your everyday agent was scary enough without being a little kid with glowing red eyes and fangs. An image of blood staining the white carpet, fire licking up the walls and Charlie screaming in pain popped into my head. These things might be worse than Jane or Demetri, my heartbeat started to drum in my ears.

In through my nose, 2,3,4. Hold, 2,3,4. Out through my mouth 2,3,4.

"I hate to say this, but maybe we should start involving the parents," I said after a few calming breaths. " I mean, it was fine to keep our superhero antics a secret when we were saving people from housefires, but this is big."

These things might come for us…come for Charlie, I had to warn him. My stomach turned; we might have to leave Forks. I glanced at Edward, he shifted his gaze away from me, toying with the fibers of the carpet.

"I agree," Alice said, " It makes sense to let them know what's happening since it could affect their safety, but…guys…I can't see that happening."

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked. "If we decide to tell them, then you should see us telling them."

She nodded, "Yeah, that's what would happen if we could find them, but we won't."

"Where are they?" My heart doubled in speed, "Is it because I'm a shield Alice?"

Her eyes softened, "No Bella, I don't think so. The more I get to know you, or maybe the more you start to trust me, the more I can see. It's like you aren't shielding me as much. As for the parents, we won't see them again until they come to us."

"That doesn't make sense," Edward said, eyebrows knitting together, "They've never left us without saying anything, they're leaving notes, where are they?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I just see us looking for them for the next few weeks and coming up empty."

"But why," Emmett murmured, his shoulders hunched. I glanced around the room, they all seemed as lost as me. Carlisle and Esme were their parents as much as Charlie was mine, and all of us were hurt by their abandonment. Shame crept over me, heating my cheeks. How long had it been since I spent any time with Charlie? I hadn't been paying attention, letting myself get lost in Edward's affections.

Rose broke the silence that had fallen over the room, "I have a hypothesis but I haven't wanted to give it much thought."

"What?"

"Uh, well…Charlie and Esme used to be friends, right?" She asked, looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded.

"Like good friends, I mean, when Esme talks about Charlie, you can see a certain amount of admiration," she continued.

"You can feel it too," Jasper added.

"Oh god!" Edward cringed. "It can't be that, "a shiver racked his body.

"What?" Emmett's face was turning red.

"Charlie was on the road for a long time," Jasper said, "He probably has some unmet needs, and Carlisle and Esme have always been very…open."

It was like ice water had been dumped over my head, "Are you saying that they're a thruple?" I whispered.

Emmett glared at Jasper with murder in his eyes, "That's my mom you're talking about."

Jasper grimaced but Rose just shrugged. "Old people need sex too," she said. My lunch tried to make a reappearance.

Edward walked over to the bar and poured himself a shot of vodka. He tipped the drink back and shuttered again.

"Okay, let's say that they are in some kind of…relationship," he said the word with disgust. "Why would they stop seeing us over that?"

"Like anyone can keep a secret from you Edward." Jasper said. I nodded; this actually made a weird sort of sense. Not only could Edward read their minds, Jasper would be able to tell how they felt around each other.

"They might not want us to know because they're worried we'll judge them, and can you blame them? Bella almost puked and Edward looks like he wants to peel his skin off," Alice said.

It was gross, but who else could Charlie start a relationship with that wasn't built on lies. My eyes drifted to Edward, trying to get some reassurance. He didn't look up from the shot glass he was spinning on the bar top.

"Okay, well, what if we write them a letter about the red eyed agents," Emmett suggested.

"I don't think it's a good idea to put those details down in writing then leave it to be found," I said. Rose nodded and threw her file on the Denali family into the fireplace.

"Then we keep it vague," Emmett suggested.

"It's not going to work," Alice chimed in.

"Well, we have to try something," Emmett pushed a notepad across the small coffee table between us. It had a note in his messy scrawl.

Dear Mom, Carlisle and Charlie,

We know your secret; we still want to see you. We need to talk, what you do in the privacy of whoever's bedroom you are using is your own business.

Love,

Emmett

P.S. Use protection, we don't know where Charlie has been

"Works for me," I said, shrugging.

Edward shot me an incredulous look then poured another drink.

"You're too good for me," Edward slurred, pinching a lock of my hair between his forefinger and thumb. I snorted and continued to help him up the stairs, his arm draped over my shoulder. His weight pushed me to the side and I had to grab the railing for support.

"Are you made of lead?" I asked.

"No," he whispered, "I'm a silicon-based life form." He giggled, his cool alcohol-soaked breath washing across my face. It still smelled amazing.

My lips pressed into a line, holding in the snicker, "Is that right?"

He nodded emphatically, "And I have a secret," he leaned in close to whisper in my ear, causing goosebumps to erupt across my arms, "I'm an alien." He widened his eyes.

"Mmmhmm"

"What if they're the aliens?" he swung his arm out, pointing in a circle around him, throwing me off balance again.

I laughed and got him through the door of his room.

His blanket was cold, he really should be sleeping in his tub tonight but I wasn't sure about putting him in there while he was inebriated. I leaned forward to touch his cheek. His eyes became serious, "Really though Bella, you're too good for me." He turned to face the wall.

"You're perfect for me, I'm so sorry about my reaction."

"Why would you apologize for that?" He slurred.

The switch for his electric blanket was on the floor, I traced the path of the cord to find it, kneeling to switch it on.

"I don't want it to feel forced, okay?" he said into his pillow.

"Am I pressuring you?" I asked from my place on the floor. Soft snores were all the answer I got.

Was he having second thoughts? I wasn't. Although, maybe we were moving too fast. I mean, we had just been making out, were we going to jump straight to having sex? Maybe we were missing some steps. Weren't there some bases we needed to round before sliding into home? I sighed, wishing I could talk to Charlie about this. It wasn't your typical father/daughter conversation, but we weren't typical.

I looked at my usual place next to Edward, wondering if I should crawl into bed next to him. Would it be presumptuous given his hesitation about our physical relationship? Plus, he was probably mad at me about my reaction to his bloody machete portrait. I cringed again, embarrassed that I hadn't recognized him right away and measured my response. For the first time in weeks, I went to sleep in my own bed.

My muscles hurt. I curled up tighter, pulling my knees to my chest. The bed was cold without Edward, which was weird since he didn't provide any body heat. I cranked my heated blanket all the way up, but it wasn't helping the icy feeling inside my bones. Debussy, Edward's cat came in around two and laid between my legs, his purr vibrating in places that made me feel like a pervert. I shifted to make him move and he relocated to my chest, then promptly fell asleep. Now I couldn't move without the guilt of waking the furry monster.

I laid like that for another three hours before finally calling it quits, getting up and pulling on some leggings and a tank top. Warm light poured into the hallway from the kitchen, I rounded the corner and the world tipped. Firm hands grabbed my waist to right me, an electric current traveling through every place that Edward touched me. He let go and moved to the door, scooping up his sneakers.

"Oh, hey. Why are you up, shouldn't you be sleeping off a bender?" my laughter at my own stupid comment felt stagnant in the silence.

"Um…no. I feel fine," he answered, leaning down to tie his sneakers, never meeting my eyes. "I just thought I would take a run; it's been a while since I've gone out."

I nodded, trying to ignore the miles of space that seemed to extend between us.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked, desperate to get back to normal.

He just shrugged. I laced up my shoes and followed him out of the house like a lost puppy.

God, I'm pathetic.

We ran for about an hour, never coming close to each other, the only sound was the rhythmic beating of our feet. When I started running, I had felt guilty for hurting Edward's feelings last night and for making him feel pressured to progress our physical relationship, but as the miles wore on, I just started to get mad.

I didn't need this. I was doing just fine before I met Edward, before I knew anything about mates. All I wanted was a friend to play Warhammer with, not all this emotional turmoil. My stomach twisted.

I stopped running and wiped my eyes with my arm. I needed to find Charlie, things around here were getting too dangerous for us anyway. It wasn't safe for him to be here; we could just get in the car and leave before things got any worse.

Edward finally noticed that I wasn't next to him and stopped running.

"You ready to turn back?" he asked, toeing the pine needles on the ground.

"Just fucking yell at me!" I yelled, surprising myself with the vehemence of my voice. "I'm an asshole, I know it, you know it, let's just get it out in the open!" I yelled. He startled back, making eye contact with me for just a second before returning to the fascinating forest floor.

The pine cone I kicked splintered off a nearby tree with a satisfying crack.

"It's perfectly normal to be horrified when you see a monster," he murmured.

"You aren't a monster Edward, the agency…"

"When are you going to understand?" he finally looked up, his eyes bloodshot and glassy. "None of that was my blood. I had just finished killing five people with a machete when that photo was taken."

I stepped towards him but he put a hand to stop me.

"It wasn't the first time, and it wasn't the last time. It was just the only time I left any evidence."

"Edward…" I was going to say that none of that mattered but before I could he threw up every drink I watched him take last night rather than talk to me. Vomit splattering his white sneakers.

"Please go," he said, kneeling down next to the pile of his own sick.

Four days passed.

School was a blur, he didn't go. I guess the parents would only notice if we both missed. Alice said that Esme and Carlisle were used to it.

No one acted like anything was wrong, but with each day the hole that was ripping through my chest got a little bit bigger, threatening to consume me. I was his mate; shouldn't I be able to help him…to reach him. Alice could have reached Jasper. What was wrong with me?

I knocked on his door, music poured from his room, the only sign that he wasn't a ghost.

"Edward, talk to me," I wasn't too proud to beg him to come back to me.

"Please," I whimpered, the floor hard on my knees as I lost the will to stand. Never an answer, never a word, just silence. I was becoming a ghost alongside him.

I didn't try to sleep anymore; I wasn't sure how I would sleep again. I could not face the cold room alone, even if he was still there.

The stairs creaked under my weight, damp air swirling around me. There was a door in the finished basement that seemed to lead to a sub-basement that I had never known about. Maybe this was where Charlie had been hiding, where the parents had been spending all their time.

Why would he keep something from me?

I needed my dad. The corner of my eye stung and I imagined that I was a rag doll. I had been doing it as long as I could remember, imagining that I was made of fabric and that I could just pull a string to put myself back together. It had been especially helpful when I had made friends on the playground, spending a few minutes in the sun pretending that I was a real girl before Charlie swept me away. I pulled hard on that mental string and all the stuffing that was falling out cinched back in.

Maybe I didn't need Charlie. If I left, he wouldn't have to be on the run. He could stay with the Cullens if he wanted, but he could also start a new life. He wouldn't have to keep secrets or look over his shoulder. The Agency had no reason to chase him. I was their target, not him. I was nothing more than a burden to Charlie. I sat down on the stairs.

Blood soaking into white carpet, life on the road, never enough. No home, no life, just fear. Purple bruises covering the features of a beautiful boy, black eyes, bullet wounds, endless tears. I wasn't worth it.

A sob shook through my chest and I pulled the string just a little bit tighter.

Author's note: Once, when I was 17, I egged my ex-boyfriend. Not his house, him…while he was walking down the street, I drove by and threw eggs at him. Like a full dozen. He was screaming and dancing around being pelted by eggs (some of my girlfriends helped). I don't feel good about it now, and yes, it would have been better if we had just talked it out. My point is, real people don't always communicate well, especially when they're 17.

What crazy things did you guys do? Please leave a comment and let me know that I'm not the only one that was nuts.

Edward is listening to Creep by Radiohead on repeat, I have been listening to Stay by Rhianna...and also Creep on repeat.