AN: I'm sorry about the other fictions I have yet to finish.. I'm trying to find my stride again after having to work so much over this quarantine period. Two full time jobs in a healthcare setting really makes it hard to want to do anything, I tell ya! Regardless, here we are with another fiction that I'm seriously hoping to be able to finish... and in doing so have it stroke my remaining muses to life to finish the other ones.
Days like today were the ones that had her reminiscing about days long since past. Japan was loud and obnoxious, the fumes that hung as a haze over the major cities often made the air feel stale. But there was sometimes a period just before dawn where things were quiet, where the stars peeked over the clouds. Where the sky was lightly illuminated by the first rays of the morning sun. It was in these quiet moments, when the breeze touched her face, or when there was a scent almost enough to bring her back. Mornings where she would simply close her eyes and let her mind wander to a place five hundred years ago.
It wasn't often that Kagome allowed herself the time to reminisce, far less than she allowed before. In the beginning, she had gone back to the well every day, then every other day. As the years passed, Kagome had to force herself to come to terms with the fact that the well would never reopen. It wasn't that she had forgotten, her time in the feudal era was not something she would ever forget.. It was that she held the pain closer to her heart. The outward expressions of pain she felt only hurt her family. Souta often tiptoed around her, and she heard his foot steps pause outside her door throughout the day as he checked on her.
There were new lines across her mother's brow - brought on by the panic attacks she would have as a result of the night terrors. She knew her sobbing at night kept them awake, as did her trips to the well. Many injuries had been had due to her trips to that well - broken bones and sprained ankles the least of them. A vibrant girl, Kagome had withdrawn, pulled that pain into herself as tight as she could and held it close to her heart. She couldn't hurt her family or her friends anymore with her sorrow.
Now, three years later, she allowed herself these short moments to fall back; to allow herself an open feeling of sorrow. Perhaps it was the time she spent keeping her memories and pain hidden, but it felt like it wasn't so bad anymore. It hurt, but not a visceral pain that felt like her heart was being torn from her chest.. A sorrow she held close to her like a security blanket. The house was quiet, no one had yet woken for the day, and she found herself drawn to the wellhouse. Kagome hadn't been able to sleep the night before, tossing and turning as the quiet descended and her bed was just too soft and squishy to be comfortable.
Each step that she took towards the all too familiar building built up panic in her breast. Her heart pounded faster, and harder the closer she got. The woman knew it was the beginnings of a panic attack, familiar in their symptoms now. Touching the doors wasn't difficult, it was the shaking in her hands, the numbness and tingling in her fingers that made it hard to unlock the latch. She tore through the paper seal that her grandfather had insisted on placing. Kagome never told him that with her own powers, she could seal the wellhouse better than any of his paper charms, choosing instead to let him do it without comment. It made him feel better when all she had done was upset him.
The doors were rough, the paint chipping and the wood splintering beneath her fingertips. It had been some time since any of them had wanted to come out here to maintain the building. She took some time, just standing in front of the doors, the paper charm in one hand, and the other resting against the wood grains. Her heart was pounding so fast, she was almost certain that she could feel her pulse pounding between her palm and the wood.
"Get over yourself and just open the thing." The admonition was spoken softly and under her breathe as if she might break the spell that the early morning had woven over the shrine grounds. It creaked as she opened it, and a part of her mind, the more logical part made a mental note to add oil to the hinges. It was musty, and cobwebs were everywhere, sending her back to a certain demon with an affinity for hair.
Kagome paused at the top of the steps, hands clasped to her chest as she willed her heart to stop hammering as it was. It had been some time since she had been inside the wellhouse... And as always the way it seemed to stay the same always struck her as surprising. She had begun to wonder if she had dreamt it all - a fever dream born from time in the hospital.. As if she had truly been ill like her grandfather said. There was a sound in the silence of the building and for a moment, the raven haired female paused, looking around for the source. It sounded almost like water.
It dawned slowly that the sound she was hearing was in fact her heart... Racing and pounding along hard enough that it made a rushing sound in her ears. Each step down the wooden stairs felt like a bell was tolling somewhere deep within her soul. It made each forward motion painful, and had her almost stumbling on the last step. The well was as it had always been, rough hewn wood that had somehow withstood the test of time. A test that she herself hadn't managed to withstand given the circumstances.
Her fingers trailed along rough splinters, feeling the same texture she had felt so many times before in coming and going. Kagome felt calm, despite the anxiety still humming through her veins. She stared into the bottom of the well, seeing the scuffs in the dirt that she had made on countless attempts. Gouges where her nails had dug until they cracked and bled, a jacket in the corner that had been left on one of her episodes where she'd spent the night and been carried out the next morning..
Tears fell from mocha eyes, the initial impact with her hand shocking her enough to jump. Was she...crying? But why? She hadn't cried over this old well in over a year. The catharsis of the act was relieving, and the woman just let herself continue. She didn't try to stop the tears as they tracked through the dust on her cheeks, or as they landed on skin and wood alike. Kagome felt her knees weaken and lowered herself to the side of the five hundred year old wood.
Kneeling before it as she had done many times before, the woman cried her heart out, letting the pain she had held so close to her heart into the open. The pain she felt, the need to cry were all done in silence so as not to upset her family further. Salt washed her face and hands, and she could feel a tickle that precluded the need to blow her nose. There were some people who could cry and come out looking perfect.. Pretty little tears and a faint reddening of their nose.. But not Kagome.
There was one word for what her crying was: Ugly. Her eyes were puffy, her face red and blotched.. There was fresh dirt smeared across her cheeks where she had tried in vain to wipe them dry. Snuffling was the only sound that could be heard from the outside of the well house - and that only because she couldn't help it. Either sniff and clear her nose, or let it drip everywhere because she certainly wasn't going to blow her snot on her clothes.
She let herself have the cry she desperately needed, and snuffled one last time before using her sleeve to wipe her face dry. Dusting her hands on her skirt, Kagome inhaled a deep breath, then let it out forcefully. Doing so a few more times before she was able to get a handle on her careening emotions.
"Okay girl. Get it together. Steps won't sweep themselves!" She tried to force a cheerful tone, as it had always worked in the past to boost her mood. Both hands came down on her cheeks and slapped them lightly, blinking her eyes and shaking her head in an attempt to dispel the remaining sorrow that hung around her like a cloak. "There. Chin up, one foot in front of the other." A hand rested on the well to steady herself and she got to her feet.
Kagome had finished high school and had taken on the shrine duties for her grandfather. The ceremonial robes weren't quite the same feel as she'd had in the feudal era, but they were close enough in design and color that she got some sense of comfort. It was time to get moving, reseal the well house and get on with her day. Taking a step forward, she caught the red hakama pants on the wood and reached down to jerk the fabric free.
Sharp and immediate pain was followed by a hiss as she caught her hand on the roughened wood and scraped her palm. Kagome let loose a growl of frustration before clenching and unclenching her fist a few times. Hell, that hurt! Glaring back at the well, able to feel an emotion other than sorrow had her snorting at it and turning to ascend the steps. Reaching into the sleeves of the white haori she wore, the woman drew out a washrag and used it to press against her hand.
Splinters, just what she wanted to get... Today was supposed to be a day that she did a Kagura dance for one of the shrine events. The last thing she wanted was to have to worry about re injuring it. Huffing out a sigh, Kagome continued up the stairs and out through the doors. She paused once they were closed to rest her head against the rough wood.
"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I want to come back... but.." The words trailed off as she forced the burning tears back and straightened her spine. Today was not the day to let herself turn into a watery, snotty mess! She had work to do today, and wasn't about to let anyone or anything get in her way! Returning to the house, she used the kitchen sink to wash up, and dampened a rag to wipe the excess dust off her clothing. The sound of creaking upstairs heralded the wakening of her family, and Kagome made her way to her own room so she could brush her hair and finish getting ready.
"Kagome?"
"In here, mom." Her voice was muffled as she had the white hair tie in her lips, watching her reflection in the mirror. Each time she did this, Kagome wondered at how much like Kikyo she looked. Her hair had grown in the last three years, and honestly, was loathe to cut it short.
"You're up early.. Did you sleep well?"
The tone was cheerful, but Kagome knew that her mother was being careful not to say anything to upset her while trying to find out what kind of mood she was in for the day. Sighing internally, She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and tied it, looping the elastic around itself a few times then pulling on the tail to tighten it to her skull.
"I couldn't sleep..." She could see the subtle shifting her mother made in the mirror and suppressed another silent sigh before taking a long tailed comb and sectioning off a piece of her hair on either side of her temples, making sure it was even. "I was too excited for the dance today, I tossed and turned." The lie fell easily enough from her lips, and she watched as her mother relaxed.
"Oh, well that's good, sweetheart. Would you like help with your ribbon?"
"Sure, thank you! I can never get the bow on the right side." A mask that she had perfected over the last couple of years came easily enough, Kagome's tone taking on an upbeat cast. Her smile was almost perfect, it was passable for those that didn't know her, and for the most part, it fooled those that did. The ones that saw through the fact that her eyes didn't sparkle with the emotion were the ones that wanted to see her sad. Her family wanted to see her happy, so they missed it. She pulled the loops down and hit them with hairspray before handing her mother the length of white silk.
"I'm so proud of you.." The gentle tugging and pulling of the back of her head was the only thing she felt as her mother wrapped the length of ribbon around her ponytail and smoothed it flat. "You've grown up to be a beautiful young woman." Kagome lifted her eyes to her mothers in the mirror before turning her gaze to what she saw. The youthful, chubby cheeks of the past had melted and given away to a longer jaw, a slightly pointier chin. Her child-like fat had sunken and turned into high cheekbones that belied her heritage. She had used eyeshadow to darken her eyelids, and liner to make her eyes look bigger than they were.
A faint touch of salmon lipstick colored her lower lip, with a slightly more red color on the upper lip. Kagome could see the beauty her mother spoke of in such a rheverent tone, but she didn't agree with it. It was only because she looked like Kikyo that she felt she looked any sort of attractive. The touch on her hair loosened as the ribbon was tied, and her mother rested her hands on both shoulders. Brown met darker brown and she returned the smile her mother offered.
"I'll get breakfast started.. Come down when you're ready." The soft tones were still light, and she wondered at how much was faked, like her own happiness. Was her mother still tip-toeing around her moods like Souta? Getting to her feet, she turned to follow her mother down the stairs. The tingling of her senses was the only warning she got before their house shook, and both women were sent stumbling into the wall.
"KAGGOOMEE! MOOOOM!" Souta's scream was down the hall as the house seemed to steady, and they were able to get to their feet. With a rush of adrenaline she hadn't felt in a long time, Kagome took off down the hall. On her way out the door, she grabbed a bag that held a bow and quiver of arrows. Something she had done to take her mind off of her time in the feudal era was to take up archery in the back of the shrine.
"Souta! Stay inside!" Her mothers voice echoed as Kagome slammed her feet into the shoes waiting by the door and ran out, coming to a stop in the stones out front. Her quiver was on her back, and she had bow in hand and arrow nocked before there had even been a conscious thought to do so.
"Mom! No!" The voice came across sharper than she had intended, and it left her mother frozen at the doorway, her hand grabbing the jamb to stop herself from charging after her daughter. What stood in the space between Kagome and the well house was something out of the nightmares of most people. But not something she was a stranger to. Drawing the weapon string back, she held the arrow to her cheek with the ease of years of practice. "Stop right there! You should turn and go back to where you came from!"
"Priieessstessss..." The hissing sound came out with a faint cloud of dark smoke, and the scent of rotting flesh. Kagome grunted, lifting a lip in disgust at both the putrid stench and the demon standing before them. Easily eight feet tall if not more, it was a hulking thing with skin that seemed to stretch over its bones like a pair of too tight sweatpants would. The slime she could see coming from it dripped to the ground and sizzled slightly. The face was a grotesque mixture of horse and frog with bulging eyes and a longer nose. This nose reminded her of kelpie images she had seen in school, opened straight back to the ears with rows of jagged teeth.
"So gross." She felt her power rise when she reached for it, and Kagome let the pink glow surround her, infusing it into her arrow. "Last warning!" Behind the hulking beast with boney, elongated fingers that dragged knuckles on the ground, she could see the well house and felt a pang of terror. It was destroyed! A sound had her turning her attention back to the demon and she loosed the arrow. It launched forward, then wreathed itself in bright light and went straight for the demon standing in their yard.
The arrow collided and she felt the swirling winds of power that whipped her hair and clothing around her before the demon let loose a screeching sound that sent chills down her spine and lifted her skin in goosebumps. It made one last futile lunge at her before it fell to its knees, the head and shoulders already disintegrating into dust as her powers purified it. Behind her, she could hear the rapid breathing from her mother. Kagome was hesitant to turn around before Souta came running out with a look of awe on his face.
"That was... SO... COOL!" She was surprised that he could bounce the way he was at his age, but Kagome simply smiled at him, relieved that he was okay.
"I'm glad you're alright, Souta." A hand landed on her shoulder, and she turned, smiling at her mother.
"I'm glad you're not hurt, sweetheart." She found herself in a hug and returned it, leaning into her mother and inhaling the scent of her perfume. "What... was that you did just now?" The raven haired priestess thought hard about what to tell her mother. How do you go about telling your parent that you have supernatural powers that shouldn't exist in this time? The miko was saved from an explanation by the second sound coming from the well.
She pulled away from her mother and turned to head towards the wreckage, another arrow nocked and ready to go as her feet carried her to the edge of the hole, aiming downwards. The anxiety of before was gone, the fear, the shaking.. all had fled in the face of a routine so ingrained in her blood she felt nothing but focus and the power that welled beneath her skin. The face that leered up at her was coming closer and she fired another arrow - the wind blowing back and sending her hair and clothes once again as the arrow purified the demon below her.
There was an exhilaration of being able to DO something useful that came with that loosening arrow. The vibration of her bowstring was a comfortable buzz in her hand. The arrow flew into the well, and that's when things went wrong. Kagome felt her foot slipping and had a moment of wildly waving her arms before she fell into the darkness. Following her down were the scared voices of her family, her grandfather having come out with the commotion. The last thing she heard before she fell into nothingness was her mother screaming her name.
"Kagome!"