Shame. It encompassed her being.

Vaggie clutched a hand to her abdomen, pressing her fingers in hard. The tight, roiling ball of self loathing in her gut refused to move, just as stubborn as she was. Thankfully, no one seemed to be stopping her on her walk to Carmilla's headquarters. Perhaps it was something of a reputation for being with the princess. Perhaps it was simply the intense negative energy she radiated, certainly more potent than any Sinner's she passed.

She cursed Adam's name silently before shaking her head. No, she thought. It was her fault. Her's. No one had set her up for this betrayal she'd committed. No one had tricked her, had coerced her, least of all Adam. Not even Lute was to blame. Sure, they were responsible for Vaggie's residency in Hell, but no. This was on her. She had hidden her nature from Charlie. She had listened to her sorrows about the exterminations. She had held her while she cried. She had laid with her, in her own bed, which soon became their bed. All of it, all of it while she knew she had been a cause of that sorrow.

You parasite. If anyone was guilty of manipulation, it was Vaggie. Stifling a sob, she ducked into an alleyway, pressing her back against the wall and sliding to the ground. The look of horror on Charlie's face still burned bright in Vaggie's mind. She'd never seen the princess with such an expression - eyes wider than she could have imagined they could possibly go, her mouth agape in a silent gasp. She had watched the air leave Charlie's body, the pride that had filled her entire being with energy at Heaven's arguing absolutely disappearing from her. Because of me.

Screwing her eye shut, Vaggie dug her fingers in deeper until she was gasping in pain. She deserved the pit in her stomach, she was sure, but she begged for it to leave her. To not remind her of what she'd done. To let her forget that even if she hadn't belonged in Hell when she was cast down, she certainly did now - for what greater sin could she have committed than hurting Charlie?

It took the tears and snot reaching her lips for her to realize she was crying. Mierda. What happened to her? She was supposed to be strong. Powerful. The Hotel's protector, the one who could stand up and fight, the one who never showed cowardice. Funny, that. She'd never been more afraid than she was right now. Her stomach churned as she thought back to Charlie.

The look of betrayal had been one thing, back in the courtroom. Vaggie had expected that, should her secret have ever come out. What she hadn't been prepared for was the fear in her girlfriend's eyes. Pure, unadulterated fear, like she was a feral dog with teeth bared. Another sob wracked through Vaggie's body - Charlie had been afraid of her. Afraid that she, the one who loved her the most, might hurt her. Vaggie had wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her in that moment, but had stopped herself at the mere thought that Charlie might recoil as if she were a fire about to burn her. The thought made her heart hurt.

She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. She couldn't face an Overlord like this. She couldn't negotiate information for Charlie like this. For Charlie. Anything for Charlie. Anything to fix the mistake she had made.

Slowly, Vaggie stood, using the wall behind her as support on shaky legs. She allowed herself one more silent sob before gritting her teeth and forcing her composure back into place. She's in danger now. Adam had said it outright - they were coming to the Hotel first during the extermination. The pit in her stomach churned violently, heating into a slow, burning rage. She could never forgive herself for hurting her love, but she'd be damned if she allowed anyone else to ever again.

She wouldn't blame the others for not sticking around, not after their afterlives had been put in even more danger than before, but that didn't matter. Charlie loved them. Charlie had such a big heart - she felt so deeply, so purely and completely. Each resident at the Hotel had become someone Charlie cared for deeply, and Vaggie knew that if Adam hurt any of them, it would hurt Charlie as well. Vaggie wouldn't let that happen.

Vaggie stepped out into the street once more, shuffling her way forward. That vile grin on Adam's face as he threatened Charlie flashed through her mind. She hissed through her teeth, clenching her fists hard enough for her nails to draw blood from her palms.

It was ludicrous, she thought, that Adam was in Heaven while Charlie was in Hell. Adam, so hateful and vulgar, planning genocides and acts of retribution. If anyone deserved Heaven, it was Charlie, the princess whose heart bled for even the most depraved of Sinners, who worked tirelessly for the benefit of those of lesser privilege.

Approaching Carmilla's headquarters, Vaggie stopped and looked up at the tall, foreboding metal building. She would get the information Charlie needed if it killed her. She almost hoped it would. She could barely stand the sight of herself in the mirror after seeing how devastated Charlie was, how completely destroyed the princess had become in the days after their meeting with Heaven. She would do anything to fix that. She would do anything to bring back the happy, outgoing, cheerful Charlie she had grown to love. Maybe…maybe she could be the Vaggie that Charlie had loved as well.

Vaggie rubbed her eye, steeling herself for the potential confrontation ahead. What was it that Charlie had said? Inside of every demon, there's a rainbow?

She hoped that she hadn't shattered Charlie's.