THIS DESIRABLE EVENT
Miss Bingley saw, or suspected, enough to be jealous; and her great anxiety for the recovery of her dear friend Jane received some assistance from her desire of getting rid of Elizabeth.
She often tried to provoke Darcy into disliking her guest, by talking of their supposed marriage, and planning his happiness in such an alliance.
"I hope," said she, as they were walking together in the shrubbery the next day, "you will give your mother-in-law a few hints, when this desirable event takes place, as to the advantage of holding her tongue; and if you can compass it, to cure the younger girls of running after the officers. And, if I may mention so delicate a subject, endeavour to check that little something, bordering on conceit and impertinence, which your lady possesses."
"Have you anything else to propose for my domestic felicity?"
"Oh yes. Do let the portraits of your uncle and aunt Philips be placed in the gallery at Pemberley. Put them next to your great-uncle the judge. They are in the same profession, you know, only in different lines. As for your Elizabeth's picture, you must not attempt to have it taken, for what painter could do justice to those beautiful eyes?"
"It would not be easy, indeed, to catch their expression; but their colour and shape, and the eyelashes, so remarkably fine, might be copied."
At that moment they were met from another walk by Mrs. Hurst and Elizabeth herself.
"I did not know that you intended to walk," said Miss Bingley, in some confusion, lest they had been overheard.
"You used us abominably ill," answered Mrs. Hurst, "running away without telling us that you were coming out."
Then taking the disengaged arm of Mr. Darcy, she left Elizabeth to walk by herself. The path just admitted three. Mr. Darcy felt their rudeness, and immediately said,—
"This walk is not wide enough for our party. We had better go into the avenue."
But Elizabeth, who had not the least inclination to remain with them, laughingly answered,—
"No, no; stay where you are. You are charmingly grouped, and appear to uncommon advantage. The picturesque would be spoilt by admitting a fourth. Good-bye."
She then ran gaily off, rejoicing, as she rambled about, in the hope of being at home again in a day or two.
Mr. Darcy stopped walking abruptly and demanded, "Mrs. Hurst, how much did you hear?"
"I could not make out every word that was said," Mrs. Hurst replied, "but the topic was clearly your upcoming marriage."
"You say that like it is a decided thing that I will marry."
"Caroline was teasing you about the future in-laws that come along with Miss Elizabeth."
"Miss Elizabeth heard it too?"
"I am not sure, she did not say anything," Mrs: Hurst said. "But she was right there with me."
Mr. Darcy swore softly under his breath.
"May I say it was a rather impolitic jest, Caroline," Mrs. Hurst continued, "considering the lady in question can have no idea that you consider her and Darcy betrothed."
"Well, I think she has an idea now," Mr. Darcy said. "Excuse me."
Then he sprinted unceremoniously in the direction that Miss Elizabeth had gone, thus ruining the perfect symmetry of the walking arrangement.
"Well, that went well," said Mrs. Hurst.
"Is he going to that horrid girl now?" Miss Bingley was distraught.
"Of course he is. I dare say his sense of honour requires him to make reparations once her name has been publically tied to his, or some such rot."
"It was hardly public," Miss Bingley said. "It was just some benign teasing between two intimate friends. I was trying to make him see how unsuitable the relations would be."
"He knows," Mrs. Hurst said. "Trust me, he knew it perfectly well. That is probably why he was not openly courting her."
"She also has no dowry," Miss Bingley said.
"You do, and he is not openly courting you either," Mrs. Hurst said. "He is rich enough that money is not a primary object for him, I think."
"But he cares about deportment and social position and would never willingly connect his name with a tradesman and a country attorney."
"Unless you forced him to."
"Oh! Dear heavens, I wish I had not said anything."
"Well, if Elizabeth Bennet comes back engaged she has you to thank for this desirable event," Mrs. Hurst said. "No doubt she will ask you to be the godmother of her firstborn."
Further along the path, Mr. Darcy had spotted his quarry. She had reached a narrow brook and seemed to be considering how best to cross it.
"Miss Elizabeth, please wait! I must speak with you."
"I am all ears," Elizabeth said.
However, he had a hard time knowing where to begin, clearing his throat repeatedly and fidgeting nervously.
"Correction, I will be all ears, whenever you are ready," she said, and continued walking.
He fell into step beside her and they continued on, without crossing the brook. Eventually he found it easier to speak while they had no eye contact.
"Miss Elizabeth, I must beg your pardon for the conversation you just overheard," he said.
"Not at all," she said "It was not my intention to eavesdrop to your secrets with Miss Bingley but you may rest assured that the matter will go no further from me. I did not hear everything in any case."
"My secrets?"
"It seemed that you were speaking of your upcoming nuptials," she said. "I was not aware that you are engaged but no doubt you had your reasons for not disclosing it to me. "
"Please, you must allow me to apologise," he said.
"You have nothing to apologise for," she said kindly. "Miss Bingley seems to hold your future in-laws in some contempt so perhaps it is a sore subject. There was no need that I should be told, surely. "
She had wanted to reassure him but instead, this seemed to agitate him further. "No need! Surely you should be the first person to – ! It was wrong of Miss Bingley to bandy your name in such a frivolous manner and ungentlemanly of me to allow her to."
"My name?" She was startled. "Do you mean to say that you were speaking of your future marriage to me?"
"Yes," he said.
"Well, then I take it back. You are right, I should have been the first to know."
"I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am."
"It seems that you are trying."
"Extremely sorry, embarrassed and mortified," he said.
"I am a bit embarrassed as well, for being so slow to grasp the situation. I heard that the name of your intended was Elizabeth and the family Miss Bingley described had some similarities to mine but it is not an uncommon name. Given that I was not aware that we are engaged it did not occur to me that you could possibly be speaking of me."
"No doubt, being used to your own goodness, you were also unable to believe anyone would have the bad taste to insinuate such a relationship exists when it does not."
"Yes, rather," she said. "I am not sure that I am as good as all that but I would very much like to know how Miss Bingley came to speculate about such an odd thing."
"I am afraid that it is my fault entirely," he said. "In an unguarded moment at the Lucas Lodge I confessed to her my admiration of your eyes, and she has been jealous of you ever since."
Elizabeth was rather surprised to hear that he thought some aspect of her was pretty but she chose not to address that aspect of the communication.
"Is there an attachment between you and Miss Bingley? You may tell her that I have no wish whatsoever to come between you, and perhaps it will ease her mind."
"Oh no! No, indeed not. I have no designs on Miss Bingley."
"Although the opposite is not true?"
"Yes, Miss Bingley has given me plenty of indications that she would love to be the mistress of Pemberley. I am not inclined to make her dreams come true but it does not stop her from being rather vicious about any perceived rivals. I am sorry if she has been rude to you on my account."
"That might explain some barbed commentary," she said. "But sir, one might say that you encourage her, by walking alone with her and having such intimate conversations. You admit her into a very close circle of familiarity when you allow such unguarded teasing."
"You are right," he said. "I should not have allowed it but I find her difficult to discourage. She has never received a hint that she could not ignore, and I have been shying away from more direct confrontation. On account of my friendship with Bingley, I would not like to offend his sister."
"I will grant you that she seems rather tenacious in the face of remarks that anyone else would take as a brush-off."
"I expect she realises they are a brush-off but has chosen to attribute it to an attempt to increase her devotion by suspense."
"In the usual practice of elegant gentlemen," Elizabeth said airily.
"She is not the only woman interested in marrying into the Darcy legacy but I can only marry one lady, after all."
"So a lady's odds of getting a brush-off are much better than the odds of getting the banns read."
"If you are the betting kind, that would be one way to put it."
"So was this the first time that Miss Bingley has mentioned your supposed attachment to me aloud?"
"No, it was not the first time."
"Has anyone else heard her?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Hurst or Bingley have been there during some of those conversations. I am not sure about the servants."
"Have you considered that it could be rather ruinous for my reputation if we were commonly thought of having a relationship and then nothing came out of it? I must be an easy flirt, and gave myself to a common rake, or I am a jilt. Or maybe you found out that I have done something scandalous and threw me over me over. The gossips of Meryton are quite vicious sometimes."
"The gossips of every place are quite vicious sometimes," he said. "But you need not fear for your reputation on my account, and no one needs to speculate why I threw you over, if I do not. Miss Elizabeth, will you marry me?"
"What? You cannot be serious." Elizabeth was incredulous.
"I am as serious as a shipwreck. Since the danger you are in was my doing it is my duty to fix it, and I could not walk away in all honour and go on being a gentleman if I left your reputation at any risk."
"Surely there is no need to do anything precipitous," she said. "No one has said anything to me, it could very well be that the gossips of Meryton know nothing about it. Let us try to keep it that way. I want you to tell Miss Bingley to stop talking about me like that."
"Consider it done."
"Ask Mr. Bingley and the Hursts to hold their peace."
"I am sure that none of them would find it to be in their interests to circulate such a tale about you, or me. But I will remind them of it in any case."
¨And I think you should reward the Netherfield servants generously so they have no reason to wish to spread malicious gossip about you."
"I would do that regardless," he said. "One gets better service if known to be generous. But Miss Elizabeth, I sincerely think we should get engaged for real."
"You do not mean it, surely," she said. "After a moment's reflection you will see that it is best not to do anything rash. I wish to marry for mutual respect and affection and not because somebody so wholly unconnected with me was rude about me."
"While the circumstances of my proposal might make you think otherwise, I do assure you that I have the deepest respect and affection for you." He regarded her earnestly.
"Well, I certainly had no idea," she said. "I thought I was not handsome enough to tempt you, or something like that."
"I apologise for that too," he said. "I seem to make a habit out of ungentlemanly speeches around you."
Elizabeth had picked up a twig and busied herself twisting and turning it in her hands.
"Well, if you can restrict your ungentlemanly urges to such a limited audience and behave well elsewhere it gives you a pretty good average ranking," she said. "If there is something about my demeanour that encourages your worse tendencies I am sorry for it."
"You have always been charming and attractive," he said. "But you may not have seen that I thought that, because I strove to hide my feelings. I think I was rude at the assembly because I had seen you laughing with your friends, and I instinctively knew that I would be in some danger because of your beauty and joie de vivre. But I thought that you were not whom I was meant for, and wanted to suppress my admiration and conquer my ill-conceived attraction. I felt I should judge better if I forgot you and moved on to some other attachment. Later I allowed Miss Bingley to make negative remarks about all the disadvantages of the match because I was trying to fight my feelings for you."
"All the disadvantages of the match? Well, sir, you certainly seem like a very reluctant lover. I know I am not some great catch but I had been hoping that my future husband would find me worth pursuing, regardless."
"I find everything about you and your person very desirable indeed," he said. "But my family expects me to marry someone from another station in life."
"With better connections and a larger dowry?"
"Essentially, yes."
"So, you are a fortune hunter," she said. "Then I am well rid of you, and I wish you the best of luck in your search. May she still have all of her teeth."
"It is not just about money," he said.
"Yes, I know, the problems are numerous. I am a conceited, impertinent girl whose mother speaks too loud and too carelessly. I have two younger sisters who like to have fun and flirt with officers and one that does not. My two smart, educated uncles were not born in a treasure vault and have to use their brain to earn a living. Your relation is a judge so he must be venerated. My relation is a country solicitor so he is an object of scorn."
She broke the twig with a snap.
"Let me just say that none of that was my words. Please do not condemn me for Miss Bingley's opinions."
"You say you esteem me, yet you let your friend disparage my relations."
"Miss Bingley is not exactly a friend."
"So, you say you esteem me, yet you let someone who is not even your friend disparage my relations."
He was silent for a while.
"It does not make it sound any better, does it?"
"No," she said.
He kicked a stone that flew quite high and hit a tree branch.
"Supposing we were to marry I would be cast into a murder of insufferable snobs, and your loyalty to me would be rather questionable," Elizabeth said.
He reacted to this quickly, fiercely.
"No! You have to believe me, if I pledge my troth to you it will mean something. If we were to wed you could always be assured of my complete loyalty and devotion to you, and your family would be my family."
"Your demeanour has made it no secret that you look down upon their station in life."
"I admit that I have had my scruples about them, but I would cast them all aside for your sake," he said. "I would always treat them with all due respect, for they are responsible for creating you. I would forever owe my gratitude to them for that."
"Yet you made very little effort to speak with anyone so much beneath you in wealth and status."
"Well, if you knew me better you might find that I often make very little effort to speak with rich strangers as well," Darcy said. "It is a flaw in my character, I know."
Elizabeth said nothing.
"Truthfully I am less concerned with money and status than the lack of decorum and prudence in their speech that I have occasionally perceived in the behaviour of some in your family," he said. "That is not to say that I do not have some indecorous relations of my own. But I have not been looking to add to their number."
Elizabeth huffed angrily. They had come to a spot in which the brook was narrower, and suddenly she jumped across so they had the water separating them.
"Granted, the behaviour of my loved ones sometimes leaves things to hope for. But so does yours. I think you should start casting stones sometime after you have not just been overheard talking about your engagement to someone you are not in fact engaged to."
"I have taken your meaning and feel duly chastened," he said. "But the latter problem would be a moot point if we remedy the matter and in fact get engaged. In all seriousness, I think we should."
"Are you looking for a wife or a wet dishrag? Because nobody with any self-respect would accept a proposal like that. You say you have fought against your inclination and asked me to marry you against your better judgment. Whatever charms you think I possess would fade and it would not be long until you resented me from all of your heart for making you marry me as penance for one imprudent conversation. And then your gratitude would diminish and you would again be reminded of your reasons to despise my parents, my uncles and my sisters."
"Please do not think that I share all of Miss Bingley's opinions."
"Miss Bingley's opinions must be just a fraction of the scorn that the friends in your circle would heap on me and in the end I would hate you for bringing me to their attention and you would hate yourself for marrying so much beneath you."
"No one who offered disrespect for my wife could count as my friend."
"They would be formally polite in your hearing, I suppose," she said. "But I would still know of their contempt."
"We would not need to associate with anyone whose treatment of you you do not like."
"And what if you lose most of your friends then?"
He followed her across the brook and took her hands in his.
"I would have you, and we would make our own friends."
She was silent for a long time, just looking at him. He began to look nervous.
"I had occasionally been given reason to believe that a proposal from me could be a somewhat desirable event. I had not thought that marriage to me would be such an ordeal."
She disengaged her hands and continued forward on the path.
"Perhaps it would not be, if you married for the right reasons. But if I had not heard your conversation with Miss Bingley just now, you would not have proposed to me, and I dare say we would both be happier for it."
"If you had not heard my conversation with Miss Bingley just now, would you still refuse my proposal?"
"I cannot say. You did not have the air of a suitor and I had been advised that I was not tempting in your eyes, so I never had occasion to think about the possibility."
"I was trying not to create any expectations and I suppose I succeeded a little too well." He sighed ruefully. "But you said you would be happier if I had not proposed to you?"
This thought seemed to upset him.
She stopped next to a mud puddle.
"Earlier, I had no expectations of you," she said, trying to explain. "And I suppose I still do not. Your proposal changed nothing."
"Nothing," he echoed.
"Except now I will always wonder. What would it be like between us if we gave us a chance? What if I knew you better? What if I had known what you thought? What if you were braver and courted me properly regardless of all the drawbacks? What if I was enough?"
"What if I was enough?" he said.
"What if we were enough?" she said.