Callum Rosencrans- Swing Vote D11M
So I killed a woman and they brought me back. Not in the Games, but just a cold-blooded, premeditated murder. That told me a couple of things. First, that Panem was just as callous about life as I was. Second, that they rewarded it, so I might as well keep going. Not that I'd go out of my way to kill anyone I could. Just that I'd kill anyone to be with Stevie. That was the third thing all of this told me. I wasn't concerned at all about her mother, or about dying, or about going back into the Games. I was only thinking about how now I could see her again. That was all that really mattered, then, wasn't it? Our love? Murder couldn't get in the way of that, and neither could a dictatorship. It must be real, then. It must really matter.
Stevie Pagett- Swing Vote D11F
My mother hung over me as I tried to focus on Callum. She was gone now, and we were together again. Clearly the Capitol didn't hold the murder against us, unless they planned to let one of us win and then prosecute us. I couldn't imagine that was the case. No, it was something else hanging over my head.
"What's wrong?" Callum asked, his brows knitting at my disquiet.
"You don't think..." I tried to get my thoughts together. "Mom always said if you do bad things you go to Hell. Funny how she never talked about Heaven. You don't think coming back like this after killing her is like... Purgatory, do you?"
"No way. Dead is dead," Callum said. He realized, and sighed. "Except this, but this is not normal."
"Yeah. Of course," I said, wishing I was more sure.
Jay Dallas- Over and Over D11M
They all thought we would pull this out. That this time we'd work together and one of us would get out of here. It would make it all worthwhile, if one of us got out. Just one of us, living for all the Jayhawks, growing old and living a full life and doing it for all of us. Someday it had to happen. I wasn't giving up on that. I was just starting to wonder if I would be there. Over and over I'd let our ever-growing friend group, and over and over none of us had won. Would they be better off with someone else? I couldn't help but see I was the common denominator in all these failures. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. There was no one I could talk to about the pressure to figure it out before the gong sounded one more time.
Lily White- Into Thin Air
It was just cruel, picking me to come back. People like me couldn't win against a hundred other Tributes, almost all of them stronger than me. It was clear I was back here as an underdog. The Capitolites wanted to root for the plucky girl from Eleven who would outwit and outlast the stronger Tributes. The thing about underdogs is... unless they usually lose, they're not underdogs. They'd watch me last longer than I should and sigh when I finally died and say "Oh, she did so well, though. Such a pity." Such a pity I lay in pain and fear, watching the end finally catch up with me. That's all I was to them: a plucky little pity. But not pitiful enough for them not to kill me.
Fleur Laveau- No Way Down D11F
Rat poison. It was rat poison, not a god of death. But then, couldn't it be both? I knew what I saw, even if some Capitol doctor told me it was just misfiring endorphins. And couldn't it be that we were right all this time, since now everyone knew death wasn't always permanent? That the Capitol hadn't been doing science at all, all this time. If science could be indistinguishable from magic, couldn't magic be indistinguishable from science? The Gamemakers would never believe they were actually tapping in to dark powers they didn't even acknowledge. That didn't mean it wasn't true. In the old, old days, people didn't decide whether someone turned them into a zombie. Mightn't it be true that a witch doctor didn't even know that's what he was?
Theo Mulroy- Circle of Life
The first thing I learned was that my father was dead. He lived a few weeks after my Gvmes and then he just fell down dead. Coronary, stroke, aneurysm... it didn't matter. It was a broken heart, anyone could see. He lost his daughter. He lost his wife. He lost his other daughter. He lost his entire family. I always wanted to be like my father. Now I was like him forever. I'd lost my entire family.
Gaius McClellan- No Way Down D12M
I was starting to think there might be a middle way. Clearly my first plans to serve Panem as a loyal Peacekeeper were... a little cringe, I hated to say. But revolution was rarely the best answer. At best it led to so many deaths, to a country torn apart and barely alive. At worst it made things even harder than before. Maybe instead we could hope for... reform, I guess. Changes- large, systemic changes- but not the hard reboot of a revolution. And military people like me could be part of that. A general wasn't just a soldier. They were also a politician. They were a politician working for the best for their country, but also ready to back it up with lethal force if necessary. That's what it meant to me to protect someone. It meant being strong enough to kill whoever would hurt them. I guess the Games would be my proving ground.
Peach Unk- We All Fall Down D12F
I must confess I was starting to think they were messing with me. Obviously someone like me would never win the Games. Titian wouldn't allow that, and most of the other Gamemakers agreed with him. So I was here to get horribly killed so they could cackle over it. If that was the case, I still wasn't down. Clearly I had to die, so the only thing left was to be as spiteful as possible with my life. It would be a shame if some of their golden children got killed by the joke from Twelve. Not that I was going to run around killing people. It would just be a shame if they attacked me and died instead, or got wounded in some hilariously embarrassing way...
Zebulon Charles- Wandering Souls D12M
"Is Jack here?" I asked.
"No. They had mercy on him," Beth said.
I sat with a pit in my stomach. Which was better, knowing Jack was safe from dying again, or being able to apologize to him? I knew the answer in my heart. My apology would only be for me. I was sorry, really sorry, but my apology wouldn't change what Jack would have to go through. Jack deserved peace more than I did, and it would be good penance for me to accept that. I'd done what I'd done and I needed to work toward the future instead of letting the past follow me.
It was the Games, not me. I knew it wasn't entirely true. I'd chosen to kill and other people hadn't. But it was over and no good would come of me torturing myself. Instead I was going to remember what the Games could do to me. I'd keep it in my head every step of the way, so it would never happen again.
Elara Angelo- Over and Over D12F
Myrtle wasn't here this time. Part of me was happy she didn't have to go through this again, especially since she never would have won. It was starting to look like I wouldn't, either. But I had the fire in me to keep trying, while Myrtle was better off at peace. I went from that dark thought to something even darker. As a Twelve, I was used to deprivation and hardship. For me and the others of my District, we'd be hoping for the worst arena possible. Twelves weren't the strongest, or the best educated. Our best hope in the Games, our greatest chance of survival, was that we'd be able to take the most pain.