Author's Note:

Well, they made a tiny bit of progress, but they're still resisting the pull. Let's see what happens next!

Thank you all for continuing to read and review!

I do not own Twilight, unfortunately.

Chapter10

BPOV

I spent the next two days doing anything I could to avoid thinking about Edward. I worked hard Friday at the office, knocking out several tasks that I'd been putting off, then I made a large dent in a new manuscript I was editing that evening. Edward hadn't texted or called me all day, which was unusual, but I decided it was probably a good thing. By Saturday afternoon, however, I had to admit his silence kind of stung. I knew he was probably feeling awkward, but we'd agreed that we wanted to remain friends and I'd gotten used to being in contact with him every day. I picked up my phone several times over the course of the evening, but I backed out of texting or calling him each time. Maybe he'd changed his mind, and I didn't want to push, so I resolved to let him make the next move. Luckily for my sanity, I didn't have to wait too long.

Early Sunday afternoon, my phone lit up with Edward's name and an hour later I found myself pulling into his driveway. I was there to help bake cookies for Maggie's class. She had mentioned it to me when I'd picked her up from school a few days before, but after the events of that evening, I'd forgotten all about my promise to help. Apparently, she had refused to let Edward bake them without me though, so he'd called to ask if I was willing and here I was.

I made my way onto the front porch and raised my hand to knock, but the door swung open before I could make contact.

"Bella! You came!" Maggie exclaimed as she threw her arms around me.

"Of course I came, sweetie," I told her as I hugged her back. I looked up when I saw Edward walk up behind her and smiled nervously. I had come because I'd promised Maggie, but I wasn't sure how to act around Edward now.

"Hi," I said as Maggie turned and took off for the kitchen.

"Hey, come on in," Edward said and closed the door behind me as I stepped inside the house. "Thank you for coming, I wasn't sure you would want to."

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. This was what I'd been afraid of. We'd agreed to remain friends, but the easy camaraderie we'd had before the kiss was gone. I decided that we needed to clear the air and hopefully be able to move forward without the painful awkwardness.

Glancing around to make sure Maggie was out of earshot, I spoke softly, "Edward, listen, about the other night. I don't want us to be nervous and awkward around each other. I probably shouldn't have told you I liked it, because I'm sure that just made everything worse, but I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want to lose you as a friend. Can we please just pretend it never happened and go back to the way we were?"

I watched Edward warily, waiting for him to respond. It took a few moments before he answered. "First of all, Bella, you didn't make anything worse, I told you I liked it too. And I don't want us to be uneasy with each other either. You've become one of my best friends, and I'm not willing to give that up," he said with conviction and abruptly pulled me in for a hug.

I heaved a sigh of relief as I wrapped my arms around him and smiled up at him. The tension seemed to melt from both of us the moment we touched. We held on to each other for a minute, happy to have not ruined our friendship, then we heard Maggie call from the kitchen.

"Daddy! Bella! Are you coming?" she yelled.

"Well, I guess we better get to work. We've got cookies to make!" I said with a laugh as I pulled away from Edward.

"Yep, the boss has summoned us," Edward chuckled as he led me toward the kitchen.

Two hours later, it looked like a small war had been waged in Edward's kitchen. We'd eaten a good portion of the cookie dough but had managed to bake enough for Maggie's class. We'd talked and laughed as we worked, and Maggie had thought it was hilarious when Edward had purposely smudged flour on her cheek. That prompted us to gang up on him, so I lifted her up high when his back was turned and she dropped a handful of flour over his head. He'd gotten his revenge by shaking his head before we could get away, though, so we'd all wound up covered by the cloud of flour he had shaken loose.

Finally, though, the cookies were baked and cooling on a plate, and Edward had called and ordered pizza for dinner. While we waited for our food, I started to clean the kitchen while Edward took Maggie upstairs and got her in the bath. Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang signaling the arrival of our dinner, so I grabbed a towel to dry my hands and headed for the door since Edward was still upstairs. I was reaching for the door when I heard Edward behind me.

"I got it," he said as he walked down the stairs and reached around me for the door. I stood frozen to the spot while he paid the delivery driver. My mouth had gone dry seeing Edward, who'd apparently taken a quick shower himself, walk down the stairs barefoot in worn jeans and a fitted t-shirt. I swallowed hard behind his back, but luckily my head was cleared by the time he shut the door and headed for the kitchen, pizza in hand.

I followed him back into the kitchen and got some paper plates out while Edward ran back upstairs to hurry Maggie along. A minute later, Edward carried a giggling, pajama-clad Maggie into the dining area and deposited her on a chair. I'd just spread out the food and was going back to the kitchen to grab us drinks when Edward tossed something soft at me. I caught it by reflex and looked down to see an old gray University of Washington shirt.

"I figured you might want to change," he said with a pointed look at my shirt. My dark blue top was still covered in flour. I had already ducked into the bathroom and cleaned up as much as I could while Edward and Maggie had been upstairs, but there hadn't been much I could do about the shirt.

"Thanks," I said, then quickly slipped away to change.

After we ate, Edward and I finished cleaning up the cookie mess in the kitchen while Maggie watched TV. Since it was a school night, her bedtime was approaching, but there was a little time left. Once the kitchen was clean and the cookies packaged for Maggie to take to school, Edward reached into the refrigerator and offered me a beer. I took it as he grabbed one for himself, then led me toward the living room. When we reached our destination, we found Maggie sound asleep on the couch. With a quiet chuckle, Edward excused himself for a few minutes to take her upstairs to bed. I sat down on the couch and sipped my beer, nervously wondering if I should make an excuse and go home. Before I could decide, though, Edward came back down the stairs and settled on the opposite end of the couch from me, then took a swig of his beer.

"Thanks for coming today, Bella. It meant a lot to Maggie," he said. "And to me."

"No thanks necessary," I said. "It was my pleasure. I had a good time."

"Well, regardless, I do thank you. Maggie loves you and you don't have to spend time with her, but you do."

I almost laughed at how formal we both sounded. Clearly, we weren't quite past the weirdness like we'd thought when I arrived. "Edward, first, the feeling is completely mutual. I love her, too. She's a bright and delightful little girl and that's why I enjoy spending time with her. I'm not doing it because I feel obligated. And second, I thought we weren't going to be weird with each other?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. I guess it's not so easy to forget the other night," he said softly.

As I looked into his piercing green eyes, I wanted nothing more than to say I didn't want it to be forgotten, but I couldn't put him in that position. Instead, I nodded in agreement and decided to change the subject to try and recapture our usual easy banter. It worked for the most part, but there still seemed to be a tense awareness between us. We talked for a little while longer as we nursed our beers, but eventually, I knew it was time for me to go.

"Well, I've enjoyed today, but I better get going," I said as I stood to take my beer bottle to the recycle bin in the kitchen.

"I enjoyed it too, even if you and my daughter did gang up and assault me with flour," Edward said with a smirk. I laughed as I remembered the look on his face when Maggie had dropped the flour bomb on his head. "Just remember," he continued, "payback's a bitch."

I laughed again as I spun toward him at his playful threat. "Oh, yeah? I'm not scared, Cullen."

"I'll show you scared," he said playfully as he suddenly grabbed me around the waist with one arm and used the other to tickle my ribs. I giggled as I squirmed away from him. I managed to slip out of his grasp, but he slammed a hand on the counter and caged me in before I could get out of his reach. I put my hands on his chest, prepared to push him away, but I was suddenly aware he was no longer trying to tickle me. Instead, he was staring down at me, his breathing shallow. I looked up at him and saw the intensity in his green eyes, which seemed to darken as I watched. A small part of my brain was telling me to push him back and walk away before this got any more complicated, but the larger part was frozen in his gaze, powerless to look away, much less walk.

The next thing I knew, I heard Edward mutter a quiet, "Fuck it," and then his lips were on mine. This was not the soft brush of his mouth over mine from a few nights before. This kiss was immediately intense, almost punishing, as he pressed his firm mouth to mine. I gasped softly and Edward took advantage of the opening by sweeping his tongue across my bottom lip. That was all it took for me to respond. Suddenly, I couldn't get close enough and I drove my hands into his hair to pull him to me. Edward's arms went around my waist and hauled me tight up against his body. Our tongues fought for dominance and Edward used his teeth, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth. I groaned at the slight sting I felt, but it was quickly soothed by his tongue. With my hands still in his hair, I changed the angle of the kiss, trying to get even closer.

Edward released me from his arms, then splayed his hands on my waist and lifted me onto the counter. My legs automatically opened to make room for him to nestle in between them. I could feel his hot length pressed against my core and I dropped my head back with a moan, breaking the contact of our lips. Not to be deterred, Edward swept his mouth along my jaw and down my neck. My entire body was on fire as his thumbs brushed the underside of my breasts, and my legs wrapped around his waist, trying in vain to pull him closer. I shivered as his tongue trailed along my collar bone before he gently sank his teeth into my flesh where my neck met my shoulder. I moaned again and Edward dragged his mouth back to mine. Somewhere, in the tiny part of my brain that was still functioning, I triumphantly acknowledged to myself that I had known it would be like this. I'd never been so consumed by a kiss in my life, and I was helpless to stop it, even though I knew I should.

Gradually, the kiss began to mellow and slow, morphing into sweet and reverent rather than hot and demanding. It didn't lessen the intensity, but it did allow my brain to register the need for more oxygen than it had gotten for the last few minutes. Edward seemed to be on the same page and the kiss turned to shorter pecks as we each tried to control our ragged breathing. Reality began to creep in as we calmed down and I became very aware of our current position. We didn't speak as we continued to hold each other, but I did drop my legs from his waist and Edward dropped his hands down to the counter on either side of my hips as he pressed his forehead to mine. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, but eventually, the haze of lust cleared enough for me to recognize the gravity of what we'd just done. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the sting of the tears I knew was inevitable. I knew what I had to do, so I took a deep breath and pulled away slightly. Edward opened his eyes and looked at me sadly. My heart broke a little, taking in his expression. We both knew this couldn't go anywhere, but neither of us wanted to say the words.

Finally, I knew it was time. "Edward, I'm sor-," I began, but he cut me off by placing a finger to my lips.

"Don't apologize," he said in a gruff voice. "I don't want you to be sorry, because I'm not. The only thing I'm sorry for is putting you in this position, knowing I'm not free to be with you the way you deserve. That was never my intention."

I nodded, knowing I'd cry if I tried to speak again. We remained in an embrace for a few more seconds, then I slipped off the counter as Edward stepped back. With nothing left to say, I walked to the front door after grabbing my purse. Just before I slipped outside, I turned to Edward and whispered, "I'm not sorry, either." With that I turned and walked swiftly to my car, willing myself to get out of sight before I broke down.

EPOV

"Fuck," I swore under my breath as I shut the front door. It took all of my control to let Bella walk out that door, but I knew I had to let her go. I'd never meant for this to happen, but I'd run out of willpower when I'd touched her in the kitchen. After Thursday night, when I'd nearly lost all control over a simple brush of our lips, it's a wonder I hadn't spontaneously combusted in my kitchen a few minutes ago. The feel of Bella's lips on mine and her body pressed against me were burned into my memory and I knew I'd never felt anything like it, and likely never would again.

I had felt a connection, almost a magnetic pull, to Bella since we'd first had coffee a few weeks ago, but I'd done my best to ignore it. At first, I'd chalked my attraction up to nearly seven years of celibacy, but I knew deep down it was so much more. I'd never really been tempted by another woman in the years since Tanya's accident, and tonight had just proven to me that it was more than physical attraction I felt for Bella. That was certainly part of it, of course, but the minute I'd pulled her to me and laid my mouth on hers, my soul had taken flight. Unfortunately, I wasn't free to be with her, and I refused to drag her into an illicit affair. She deserved so much better than that, and I cursed the fact that I couldn't be the one to give it to her. I don't know how long I stood at the front door, lost in my thoughts, but I eventually locked up and wearily hauled myself upstairs to bed.

As I lay in the dark, unable to sleep, I felt a profound sense of loss, unlike anything I'd felt before. The closest I'd ever come were the hours when I'd believed Maggie may not be my daughter. I had hated Tanya then, but for my own sanity, I'd found forgiveness for my wife's actions years earlier and had long ago resigned myself to my fate of being tied to a woman I hadn't loved. Tonight, though, knowing I'd lost Bella and my tie to Tanya being the reason, I hated her again.

Author's Note:

Well, things heated up a bit, but they're still being stubborn and fighting it. Think they'll be able to hold out?

Let me know in the comments!