Author's Note:

Thank you all for continuing to read and review!

I know it's getting a little frustrating that Edward hasn't told his family the truth about Tanya yet, but we'll get there. He's a good guy who's in a crappy situation, and he's just not quite there yet. There will be more insight into his reasons for not telling everyone later in the story.

As for Alice's reasons for being a crazy bitch, more on that later on as well. Those of you who think she's in love with Tanya are cracking me up, and I'm a little bit sorry that it's not where my mind went when I wrote this. Lol!

I'll let you get to it!

No, I still don't own it…it's not looking like that'll change, either!

Chapter 16

BPOV

I got almost no sleep Sunday night. I was exhausted Monday morning and I had zero desire to deal with people so I emailed my team letting them know I would be working from home for a day or two. It was only six in the morning, but I wasn't sleeping anyway, so I carried my laptop down to the couch and curled up with a manuscript, intending to read and keep an eye on my email for the day. Mostly though, I just sat and thought about Edward. I had cried most of the night, reliving the hurtful things Alice had said and debating what to do with this whole mess. I'd told Edward I needed time, but I didn't want time, unless it was time spent in his arms. Walking away was probably the right thing to do, but it felt wrong. I hadn't even officially broken up with him and I was more upset now than I had been throughout my entire divorce. That's because you love Edward in a way you never loved Jake, you idiot, I thought to myself. And I did. I loved him so much that even the thought of giving up on us felt like my heart was being ripped out, but I didn't know how to turn off my guilty conscience.

Fed up with my never-ending inner dialogue, I uncurled myself from the couch to refill my coffee cup, but it didn't help much. Despite copious amounts of caffeine, I could barely keep my eyes open, so I emailed my boss, letting him know I was taking a personal day instead, then signed off and curled up for a nap. I awoke a couple of hours later to my phone ringing. I reached out to the coffee table blindly and grabbed it before it could go to voicemail. I expected it to be Edward, but instead I saw Esme's name on the screen. I answered, and an hour and a half later I found myself on my way to meet her for lunch. I had intended to spend the day on my couch, but I knew I needed to apologize for the drama I'd brought to her family, and I figured it was better to do it in person. I arrived at the restaurant and spotted Esme in a booth near the back, so I steeled myself for what was sure to be an awkward conversation and made my way to her.

"Hi, Esme," I said, sliding into the seat across from her.

"Hello, Bella, how are you?" Esme asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm okay," I shrugged. "But I do want to apologize."

"What on earth do you have to apologize for?" she asked.

"For causing so much drama. I never meant -," I said, only to be cut off.

"Bella, let me stop you right there," Esme interjected. "You have nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I asked you to lunch today so I could apologize to you. I'm so sorry for the way Alice has acted lately and the things she said to you yesterday. I've always known Alice had a somewhat unhealthy attachment to Tanya, but she's certainly crossed a line now."

"Please, Esme, it's not your fault. Alice is a grown woman and I happen to know she was raised better than that," I said with a sad smile. "I'm just sorry that my spending time with Edward has caused this rift within your family."

"Well, I'll admit, I'm not thrilled with the way my daughter has treated you or her brother, or the rest of us for that matter, but if there is a rift, it's squarely on Alice's shoulders, not yours," she said firmly. "Now, I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. Don't let Alice change your mind."

I furrowed my brow, wondering what she could mean, but she continued before I could ask. "Bella, Edward has been happier the last few weeks than I've seen him in a very long time. Maybe ever. Not to mention that Maggie loves you. I know my son wasn't happy in his marriage, and I know there's more to the story from prior to Tanya's accident that Edward has never told us. I've never pushed, but I've never been blind either. So, what I'm saying is this. I think you and Edward are good for each other and I know you are feeling guilty about the crap Alice has been saying, but please don't let that push you away. Not from Edward or the rest of us."

I felt somewhat lightheaded. Did Esme know about Edward and me? Surely not, but I felt the need to clarify. It wasn't even really a lie at this point since we'd taken a step back. "Thank you for that, and I don't get the impression that you really believe everything she has said, but I want you to know that the accusations Alice has made-," I started, but Esme cut me off.

"Please, Bella, I'm not worried about it," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I know the whole situation may be difficult, but I just want you and Edward to be happy. So don't take anything Alice says to heart."

I nodded as I picked up my menu. The rest of lunch passed quickly when Esme and I moved on from the heavy subject and spent a pleasant time catching up. Once I was home, I couldn't keep my mind from analyzing everything she had said. I wasn't worried any more about what she and Carlisle thought about the things Alice had said, not that I ever really thought they believed them, but it was still a relief to know for sure. And as for my relationship with Edward, had Esme given us her blessing? Obviously, she hadn't said it in so many words, but the way she'd said he and I were good for each other, and she wanted us to be happy, it sounded like she may have been referring to more than friendship. I was probably hearing what I wanted to hear, though, so I didn't know what to think for sure. What I did know for sure was that I missed Edward. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since I'd last spoken to him, but I felt his absence. Another thing I knew was that I needed to decide about my relationship with Edward once and for all. If I wanted to be with him, then I had to be all in. No, the situation wasn't ideal, but waffling back and forth wasn't helping. If we were going to be together, I wanted to be able to fully enjoy the time I got to spend with him, not spend that time berating myself. Whether the decision to be with him was right or wrong, I needed to stand by my choice. The other alternative was to officially walk away. If that was the case, I hoped that we could salvage our friendship, but I'd have to be willing to live with whatever happened. It wasn't fair to make Edward fight for us alone. If there was going to be an us, I had to fight too.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and night thinking about how I wanted to move forward. Yes, I wanted Edward, but I had to be certain I could continue our relationship confidently, so I decided to give myself a couple of days before contacting Edward with my final decision.

Ultimately, I made it less than a day before I couldn't wait any longer to talk to Edward, so early Tuesday afternoon, I picked up my phone to call him. Just before I hit call, though, my doorbell rang. I let out a huff of air, annoyed at the interruption, but got up to answer it. Hopefully, whoever it was wouldn't take too long to get rid of. Distracted by thoughts of the phone call I'd rather be making, I pulled open the door and let out a squeak of surprise when I found myself swept back into the house with a pair of lips clamped over mine. I heard the door bang shut, but my focus was solely on the man currently walking me backwards to the couch. Once there, he pulled me down on his lap, our lips never parting. Finally, he pulled back and I had the opportunity to look at him. He looked tired. His face was stressed, and he had bags under his eyes. The eyes themselves looked anguished. My own forehead creased in concern, but before I could ask him what was wrong, he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know I said I'd give you time, but I can't…I just can't…," Edward said in despair.

"You can't what?" I asked.

"I can't let you walk away, Bella, I just can't. At least not without a fight. I know it's a shit situation to put you in, and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not sorry about us. I wish I'd known what I know now, and I'd never have stayed tied to Tanya after the accident. It seemed like the only choice at the time, but now I regret it so much more. I feel more for you than I ever have anyone before, and I'll do my best to understand and respect your wishes if you truly want out, but you need to know that I love you. I love you so much, baby, and I can't stand the thought of losing you."

Hearing Edward's impassioned declaration had tears pouring down my face. I'd already made my decision, but his words cemented what I already knew. It didn't matter that the circumstances were less than ideal or that it could be difficult to end his marriage. I knew we'd figure it out eventually. What mattered was that Edward and I were meant to be, and I didn't want to waste another second wondering if we were wrong or caring what anyone else thought. Not that we would advertise our relationship at this point, but I would not be wasting any more time worrying about potential future reactions. Edward reached up and swiped away my tears and I realized I hadn't responded. He looked so worried that I rushed to reassure him.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere," I said, and his shoulders immediately relaxed. "In fact, I was in the process of calling you when you showed up. I was calling to say that I didn't need any more time to think. I love you and I don't care that the situation is crazy. I love you and I want to be with you. You and Maggie are all that matter to me."

As soon as I stopped speaking, Edward leaned forward and captured my lips in a searing kiss. I gave just as good as I got, pouring everything I felt for him into it, the same as he was. The kiss quickly deepened, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth. The kiss was passionate, but not hurried. I was content for the moment just to revel in his presence and reconnect. Two days apart wasn't a long time, but it felt like forever. Soon, though, the passion grew and took on a new edge. My hands delved into his hair and Edward's hands slipped under my shirt. The heat of his palms on my back spread rapidly and I felt as though I were on fire. I shifted until I was straddling his legs and moaned when Edward's hands swept up my ribs until his thumbs reached the bottom swell of my breasts. I needed more, though, so I pulled my hands from his hair and reached for the hem of my shirt and lifted it off. Taking the signal how I'd intended, Edward reached up and cupped my breasts fully. His mouth trailed from my lips down to my neck. He briefly clamped onto my skin where my pulse beat wildly beneath and gently nipped. Licking the sting away, he then trailed his mouth along my collar bone and finally trailed kisses along the outline of my bra.

Needing to feel his skin as well, my fingers found the buttons of his shirt and deftly slipped it open, only to be frustrated when I found he had an undershirt on as well. I started to tug on both shirts, desperate to untuck them and take them off, but it was difficult in the position we were in. Edward momentarily stopped his ministrations to help me, sitting forward enough to pull the shirt out and off. While his hands were otherwise occupied, I shrugged off my bra and tossed it aside.

"Beautiful," Edward murmured when I was exposed to him. He reached out to touch me again, but I wanted to feel him, skin on skin, so I pulled him to me and fused my lips to his. Our torsos aligned and I relished in the heat of his chest against mine.

As much as I loved the feeling of his hands on me and his skin on mine, I still needed more. I could feel his hardened length pressing against my center and I rocked my hips drawing a moan from both of us. As I continued to rock, I threw my head back, loving the feel of him, even through our clothing. Edward trailed his mouth back down to my breasts and I sucked in a breath when I felt his mouth close over one of my nipples while his fingers tweaked the other. He swirled his tongue around the hard tip, and I moaned again as ripples of pleasure shot straight to my center.

I writhed on his lap, unable to get enough of him. The friction was good, but not good enough. With that thought, I trailed my hands down his chest until I reached his belt. As I started to unbuckle it, Edward suddenly stilled my hands and I groaned in frustration.

"Edward, let me. I want you," I whispered.

"I want you, too, baby, but not here. Our first time is not going to be on your sofa," he said, then gently pushed me off his lap so he could stand. I briefly thought he might be leaving, but he quickly reassured me by pulling me to stand in front of him. He dipped his head down and gave me another lingering kiss, then he swept me into his arms and carried me to the stairs.

He paused at the first step and looked at me questioningly, "Are you sure, Bella? Because when I get you upstairs, I plan to make love to you and I'm not going to stop.

I cupped his cheek in my palm and kissed him softly. "I'm more than sure, Edward. Take me to bed."

"Don't have to tell me twice," he said with a grin as he climbed the stairs and turned into my bedroom. Once there, he gently set me back on my feet and kissed me softly. His arms went around me, and his hands splayed on my back to pull me closer. I reached for his belt again as his hand ran down my back and dipped into the waistband of the yoga pants I was wearing. I got his belt undone and then flicked open the button of his jeans. He pushed my pants down over my hips as I pulled his zipper down, then stepped back. We each stepped out of our remaining clothing before reaching for one another again.

The feeling of Edward's body against mine was better than I'd ever imagined. Every nerve in my body hummed as he ran his hands down my back and cupped my ass, pulling me hard against him. I could feel his erection against my belly as he backed me the few remaining steps to the bed. I climbed backwards onto the mattress when my legs hit the edge of it and Edward followed me down, then hovered over me as he trailed kisses down my torso. He paid homage to each breast before continuing down. I whimpered as his tongue swirled around my belly button, then pressed a kiss right above my mound. My legs parted from their own volition, and he settled between them. I felt like I was burning from the inside out, waiting on him to touch me and when he finally did, trailing a finger down my slit, I groaned. His finger trailed up and down a couple of times, barely brushing my clit each time. I wiggled my hips, hoping for more friction, but he didn't take the hint.

"Edward, please," I whimpered.

Finally, he parted my lower lips and flicked his finger over my clit firmly before teasing my entrance. "Is this what you need, baby?" he asked as he pushed his finger inside, quickly adding a second.

"Yes, God, yes," I panted, bucking my hips against his hand.

"You're so wet for me," he muttered as he thrust his fingers into me a few times before pulling them out and spreading the wetness up and around my clit. I pressed my head back into the pillow and clenched my eyes shut as his finger circled my bundle of nerves. I was so lost in the sensation that I was surprised when his fingers plunged back into me, and his mouth clamped down at the same time. I nearly screamed the moment his tongue flicked my clit, and I knew I wouldn't last long as his expert fingers and mouth drew me closer and closer to the edge. I was whimpering and murmuring unintelligible words and I clamped one hand in Edward's hair as I spiraled closer to my climax. Suddenly, Edward reached up with one hand and pinched my nipple and at the same time, he curled his fingers inside me and hit my g-spot as he sucked hard on my clit. The simultaneous sensations were too much, and I cried out his name as my orgasm slammed into me.

Breathing hard, I came down slowly as Edward placed soft kisses to the inside of my thighs then made his way up my body. I guided him up until I could reach his mouth, then pulled him down to kiss me. I could taste myself on his tongue, but I didn't care. My own flavor mixed with the unique taste of Edward himself only turned me on more. I reached between us and wrapped my hand around his erection, then pushed him onto his back. I kissed my way down his chest and belly, fully intending to return the favor, but he stopped me and pushed me back onto my back before I reached my target.

"Baby, I can't wait any longer to be inside you," he said, his voice rough with desire.

I nodded, pulling him back to me, loving the way his body felt pressing mine into the mattress. I spread my legs as he nestled in between them, sitting up on his knees. He languidly stroked my clit with his thumb and looked down at me with hooded eyes but made no move to enter me.

"We haven't talked about protection…" he murmured, and I understood his hesitation.

"I'm clean and I'm on the pill," I said softly. "I don't want any barriers between us."

"I'm clean too," he said, then finally guided himself to my entrance.

I closed my eyes and floated on a wave of pleasure as he started to slip inside me but was brought back to the present by his rough voice. "Open your eyes and look at me, Bella. I want to see you. I want you to watch me when we connect for the first time."

His words made my heart swell, and I did as he asked. Our eyes stayed locked as he pushed forward, slowly filling me. When he was fully inside, he paused, allowing me to adjust to him and maybe to relish the sensation as I was. I'd never felt so full, physically or emotionally. After a minute, he began to move, clamping his hands on my hips. I could feel my orgasm building again as he thrust into me, hitting nerves I'd never felt before.

"God, you feel so good," he murmured as he dropped down onto his elbows, hovering over me and capturing my mouth as he continued sliding in and out.

We kissed and our hands roamed as Edward continued to make love to me. At first, his pace was unhurried, but soon he sped up and reached between our bodies and circled my clit with his thumb. Sitting up on his knees again, he yanked my hips up so that each thrust hit my g-spot. I'd been close before that, so it only took a moment for my walls to clench around him as I came, calling his name again. My orgasm triggered his own and his thrusts became erratic until he finally stilled, spilling inside me. We stayed like that, both breathing hard for a couple of minutes until he slipped out of me and dropped down to lay beside me, drawing me into his arms.

Sometime later, Edward and I were laying in blissful silence, his fingers drawing lazy circles on my back. I stretched lazily and sighed in contentment when I felt Edward's lips brush over my forehead. As much as I'd have loved to stay wrapped in Edward's arms for the rest of the day and through the night, I knew he'd have to get up soon to pick up Maggie. I glanced at the clock and was relieved to see that we had some time left, though. As happy as I was with where we were, we still needed to talk.

"Edward?" I asked softly and he hummed his acknowledgement as he continued brushing his fingers over my skin. "As much as I'd love to lay here like this forever, we kind of need to talk."

"Yeah, I know," he said, tightening his hold on me. "But we're gonna talk naked."

I laughed softly and snuggled in closer. "Works for me."

So, we talked. We agreed that as much as we wanted to shout our love from the rooftops, we needed to continue to keep our relationship under wraps for the time being. We'd continue the way we'd originally agreed by remaining platonic in front of Maggie and others but would make a point to spend as much time together as possible, with and without Maggie. We wanted to have as normal of a relationship as possible. I filled him in on my conversation with his mother from the day before and he agreed that it kind of sounded like we had her blessing, no matter what. He also told me of his conversation with Carlisle from a few weeks before when he got the same feeling. I was relieved to feel like we'd have their support if we ever needed it, but neither of us wanted to burden them with the truth unless it became absolutely necessary. Edward also promised that he'd find a way for us to move forward. I appreciated the sentiment, but I knew it wouldn't be simple, so I was determined to be patient and just enjoy what we had.

"So, what time do you have to pick up Maggie?" I asked after we'd covered what we felt we needed to.

"Actually, Mom's picking her up from school for me, so I have some time, but unfortunately I will have to go home later."

"Well, as much as I'd love to have you all night, I guess I'll just have to make sure we don't waste any of the time we have," I said with a wicked smile I as sat up and straddled him. I leaned down to kiss him before raising up enough to position him between my legs, and as I sank down onto him, I knew I was right where I was meant to be.

Author's Note:

Well, there you have it. She couldn't let him go. Was there any doubt?

Let me know what you think! Next chapter up soon.