Author's Note:

Hello! Thank you all for continuing to read and review!

Our fave couple is moving along here, so let's see what they get up to. I guess I should throw in a lemon warning here, and should have a couple of chapters ago as well, but I forgot. As you've figured out by now, this story earns it's M rating.

I still don't own the Twilight series or any of the things that go with it.

Chapter20

EPOV

Before we knew it, Christmas was upon us. Bella and I celebrated a week early with Maggie, exchanging silly gifts with each other, but the main focus for Bella was Maggie since she wouldn't be with us on the actual holiday. Much like Thanksgiving, I wished more than anything that we could spend the holiday together, but we both knew it wasn't feasible. Bella went to Forks and spent a few days with her family while Maggie and I were with mine. There wasn't any drama from Alice, though I found myself braced for an attack anytime she was around, but it seemed she was content as long as Bella and I weren't in a room together. It was a nice Christmas, but I was counting the hours until I could celebrate alone with Bella.

Maggie was going to spend a few days with Tanya's parents after Christmas, so Bella and I were taking advantage of the opportunity for time alone and renting a cabin in the mountains. The morning after Christmas finally arrived and I was on my way to pick Bella up from her house. I couldn't completely disappear on the off chance something happened, and Maggie needed me, so I'd told everyone I was going away for a few days by myself, and as far as anyone knew, Bella was still in Forks. Having to cover our tracks like that was the most difficult aspect of our relationship, but having time together was worth it.

During the drive, I pondered our situation. Having to come up with a story to escape for few days only served to remind me that I needed to contact my attorney and figure out how to end my marriage, not that I really needed a reminder. I was admittedly procrastinating, but Bella and I existed in a sort of bubble, and I wasn't looking forward to it bursting. I promised myself that I'd worry about it later, after the holidays, then focused back on the impending time with Bella.

We pulled up to the cabin a little after noon and Bella got out of the car to look around as I grabbed our bags out of the trunk. I followed Bella up onto the porch and pulled the key from my pocket as I glanced around at the scenery. It was a beautiful area and the cabin itself was amazing, a perfect mix of rugged and modern. The inside of the cabin consisted of a small kitchen and living area, with the bedroom and bathroom separate. The entire back wall was mostly glass, showing off a gorgeous view of the mountains and there was also a large back deck with a hot tub. I deposited our bags in the bedroom, then found Bella standing at the back window. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, then brushed her hair to one side and pressed my lips to the back of her neck.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"It's a gorgeous view," she said.

"It is, but I think I prefer the view inside," I said softly as I turned her in my arms to face me. "I'm glad we're here."

"I'm glad, too. But I'm happy anywhere with you."

"Me, too, but I'm not gonna lie. I'm more than looking forward to a few days alone, with nothing else to worry about. And I'm very much going to enjoy being able to do this any time I want," I said, then tilted her face up brought my mouth down to hers.

The kiss was slow and soft. I took my time exploring her mouth with mine, content just to have her in my arms. Neither of us were in a rush and I could have stood there all day just holding her. This connection was what I hadn't been able to resist and what I was willing to risk everything for. It wasn't just physical chemistry, though we certainly had that in spades, it was the connection I felt to her on a soul-deep level. As lovely as the kiss was, though, eventually I could no longer ignore the heat spreading through my body. I plunged my hand into her hair and changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it. She pulled me closer, but I backed away enough to bend and sweep her into my arms, then carried her to the bedroom, my mouth never leaving hers. I laid Bella gently in the middle of the bed and climbed up beside her, pulling her back into my arms. We lay on our sides, languidly kissing and exploring each other's bodies with our hands. Eventually needing to feel skin, I slipped a hand under her shirt and ran it up her ribs, finally rubbing my thumb over her nipple when I reached her breast. I moaned low in my throat when I felt her nipple pebble into a hard nub. Bella pushed my shirt up, so I sat up and pulled it off, then pulled her up and slipped hers off as well. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra and let it fall down her arms.

"Beautiful," I murmured, as we laid back down.

I fell partially on top of her this time and pressed my thigh between her legs. Bella threw her head back and moaned when I clamped my lips onto her nipple. I ran one hand down her stomach, marveling at the softness of her skin, and flicked open the button of her jeans, then slowly drew the zipper down. As if she needed more, Bella's hips bucked against my leg, so I pressed my thigh harder into her core. One of her arms was around me, clinging to my back, and she fumbled with the other to undo my belt. I didn't want to stop touching her for even a second, but I sat up and slid off the bed long enough to shed the rest of my clothes before reaching for her and sliding her jeans and panties off. I reached for her as I climbed back onto the bed and Bella started to sit up, but I nudged her back down onto her back. I lay beside her and fused my mouth to hers again as I ran my hand down from her shoulder to her breasts. I stopped for a moment and paid homage to each before I continued down her body. Bella's thighs fell open as I slipped a hand between them, and she moaned as I slid my finger down her slit. She was so wet that my fingers easily slipped into her folds, and I nearly lost it just feeling how hot and slick she was.

"God, Edward, please," she moaned as I teased her clit, then pulled a moan from me when she reached between us and took my shaft in her hand.

"I love you, baby," I said softly as I kissed her again and slipped two fingers into her heat.

"I love you, too," she gasped as I pumped my fingers into her and rubbed her bundle of nerves with my thumb.

I kissed her hard one more time, then started to slide down her body, wanting to taste her. I knelt between her legs, appreciating the flush of her skin as she writhed below me. I couldn't wait any longer, though, so I leaned down and flicked her clit with my tongue. Bella's hips flew off the bed as she cried out at the sensation. She tasted like the sweetest honey, and I felt like I could never get enough. I continued lapping at her clit as my fingers continued to pump in and out of her tight, wet heat. Bella reached down and grabbed my hair on a long moan. When she was whimpering and I could feel her inner walls fluttering around my fingers, I knew she was getting close. I pressed my tongue harder on her clit and curled my fingers gently inside her. A couple more strokes and Bella screamed my name as her walls clamped around my fingers and her hand pulled hard on my hair.

"Oh god, so good," she panted as I kissed my way back up her body.

I nipped at her neck and Bella delved her hands into my hair again, bringing my face to hers. She pulled my lips to hers and kissed me deeply, then reached down between us and guided my erection to her opening.

"I need you inside me. Now, Edward," she said, still breathless from her climax.

"There's nothing I would like more," I said, then slowly slid inside her. My eyes nearly rolled back in my head as I entered her. I would never tire of this feeling. I'd never felt more complete than when I was connected to Bella in this most intimate way. I tried to keep my pace slow, but it was hard when all I wanted to do was lose myself in her. The sounds she made spurred me on along with her heels as they dug into my backside. She was so tight and wet that I knew I wouldn't last much longer, so I reached between us and rubbed her clit with my thumb, hoping she would come again.

"Fuck, right there," she panted, pulling me down for another kiss.

"I need you to come for me, baby," I said as I did my best to hold back my own climax.

Bella reached up and pinched and rolled her nipples, eliciting a moan from herself and me at the sight.

"Bella, come now!" I growled and increased my pace. Finally, after a few more thrusts of my hips, I could feel her body clench mine inside her as she screamed. The feeling of her inner walls massaging my cock was too much and I felt the familiar burn in my core just before I erupted into her, calling her name.

I wrapped Bella in my arms and rolled us to our sides to keep from crushing her, our bodies still connected. I kissed her lightly as we tried to catch our breath and hummed softly at the feel of her hands running up and down my back. Slowly, I slipped out of her and rolled further onto my back, pulling her to lay half across my chest. I dropped a kiss on the top of her head and smiled to myself. I had never even dreamed I could be this happy or love someone as deeply as I loved Bella.

"It's never been like this before," Bella murmured. "I mean, before you."

"Never before you, either," I said. "I love you, more than I ever thought possible."

"I love you, too," she said, raising up to look at me and kissing me softly.

Bella and I eventually made our way out of bed and showered, then made dinner together. After we ate, we curled up in front of the fireplace, perfectly content to just be together. As wonderful as it was to be with her now, I still wished we could have been together for the entire holiday. Christmas had been somewhat bittersweet. Watching Maggie enjoy the magic of the season had always brought me so much joy, and it had this year as well, but it would have been that much sweeter if Bella had been there for all of it.

My family always got together on Christmas Day, and I had found myself feeling oddly removed from the festivities this year. The kids had been hyped up on sugar and giddy from all the gifts they'd received as always. Emmett had been his usual jovial self, nearly as hyper as the kids. Rose and my mother cooked a delicious meal while all the guys put together toys and entertained the kids. Alice had helped a little in the kitchen, but she was notorious for her lack of cooking skills. Alice had been pleasant, and pretty much acted like her old self, but I was still not willing to forgive and forget the things she'd said and done to Bella. Overall, though, it had been a good day, but I'd felt something was missing the whole time. I knew that something was Bella and it had been hard to not resent the fact that she couldn't be there, even if it was my own fault she couldn't be.

"Oh! I want to give you your present now," Bella said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

She pulled out of my arms and jumped off the couch, running into the bedroom. I followed her and grabbed her gift from my own bag, then we settled back on the couch and swapped packages.

"You first," she said.

I pulled on the ribbon and untied the bow, then ripped into the paper. Inside I found a leather pouch and upon further inspection, I found it contained a beautiful set of antique drafting tools.

"I hope you like it," she said shyly. "You were looking at something similar when we were wandering around downtown a while back, but it wasn't a complete set."

"It's great, baby, I love it," I said, leaning forward to kiss her. "Now open yours!"

She laughed at my exuberance and ripped the paper off the small box I'd handed her. I waited nervously as she opened the black velvet box and gasped at the emerald and diamond earrings nestled inside.

"Oh my god, they're gorgeous!" she said, pulling them out and putting them on.

I reached forward and brushed her hair back. "Beautiful, but they've got nothing on you, my love."

"Cheesy, Cullen, but I'll take it," she laughed as she launched herself into my lap, kissing me hard on the mouth.

I grinned and shrugged my shoulders. "Being cheesy doesn't make it any less true," I said.

Bella rolled her eyes as she settled back and leaned against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head, thinking again how happy it made me just to be near her. We talked about everything and nothing, swapping stories of holidays past and life in general. Bella asked me how Maggie had liked all the things she'd gotten for Christmas and if she'd been excited to see her other grandparents.

Eleazar and Carmen Denali were Tanya's parents, and they loved Maggie and she them. They were wonderful to her and spent as much time with her as they could, but they lived about an hour away, so she didn't see them as much as she did my parents. I also think it was hard on them sometimes to see Maggie and wonder what could have been if their daughter had been able to be a part of her child's life. No matter how I felt about Tanya, her parents were good people and I respected them. They were the biggest reason I'd never come clean about Tanya's affair and the fact that the man who'd died in the accident with her had not been a mere client. There hadn't been any point in tarnishing her image in their eyes when they had essentially lost their only child. Now, they were the ones I most worried about when I ended my marriage. I knew I would disappoint them and plenty of others, but Bella and Maggie were my priority. I wanted us to be a family, so I'd do what I had to do.

Steering my thoughts back to the day before, it dawned on me that I hadn't shared with Bella the big announcement that had been made the day before during Christmas dinner.

"Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot…but have you talked to Rose lately?" I asked Bella.

"Um, not in a few days, other than a couple of texts. Why?" she asked.

"Well, yesterday during dinner, Emmett announced that there was one more gift for my parents. Then, he produces this box and hands it to Mom and inside is an ultrasound picture," I told her.

"What?! I can't believe Rose didn't tell me! Hell, I didn't even know she'd gone off birth control," Bella said.

"Well, apparently, she didn't. Emmett was extraordinarily proud that his swimmers got past her IUD," I said, laughing at the memory of my big brother's excitement. "Rose was not quite as amused."

"Oh no, is she not happy? I know she never planned to have another baby."

"Oh, I think she's happy," I said. "She just took a little longer to get used to the idea than Emmett did. Anyway, now that I've spilled the beans, it's dawned on me that Rose probably wanted to tell you herself."

"I won't say anything," Bella assured me.

"Ok, thanks. You know Rose scares me," I laughed. "A pregnant, hormonal Rose is even worse!"

Bella laughed and then we lapsed into a comfortable silence. Thinking about Rose and Emmett expecting again had me daydreaming about seeing Bella round with my child and a tiny baby with dark hair and eyes like hers. I realized we'd never really discussed that possibility. We had so many other hurdles in our relationship that it just hadn't come up. I knew we'd never even consider it until I was truly free, but suddenly, I needed to know what Bella thought about it. Maybe she didn't even want kids of her own. After all, she'd been married to Jake for several years, so it would make sense that they'd have had kids if they wanted them. I knew she loved Maggie, and she was wonderful with her, but that was different than going through a pregnancy and raising an infant. When I realized I was spiraling down a rabbit hole, I shook my head and just asked.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I said softly and she hummed to indicate she was listening. "I was just wondering if you'd ever thought about having kids. Is that something you want someday?"

I felt her tense in my arms, and it took her a moment to answer. "Um, well, yeah, I've thought about it. I've always wanted a child, but Jake and I tried, and I wasn't able to conceive," she said softly, a sad tone to her voice.

"Oh," I said, feeling bad for asking her and bringing up a bad memory. "I'm sorry, baby. I wish I hadn't brought it up."

"It's okay, you didn't know. Rose and Alice know, but I never really discussed it around you guys. It wasn't exactly the type of conversation to have on game night," she said, then asked. "Is that something you want?"

"Yeah, I'd love to have another kid or two. I always pictured myself with two or three, but-," I stopped mid-sentence and shrugged.

"Oh, Edward, you should have more. You're a great dad. But what if I can't give you that? I couldn't stand to disappoint you like that," Bella said, her voice thick with emotion.

"Baby, stop. If that's something that happens for us in the future, great, but if it doesn't, then that's fine too. I love you, and nothing will change that.

"But what if-," she started, but I cut her off.

"No buts, Bella. I mean it. Yes, I'd love to have a baby with you someday, but I want you more. Please believe me and don't worry about this."

"Okay," Bella said after a moment, then settled back against me again. We settled back into a comfortable silence, and it was some time later when Bella spoke again. "He blamed me, you know."

"What? Who blamed you for what?" I asked, confused.

"Jake blamed me for not being able to get pregnant. Told me once that was the reason he cheated, because I failed as a wife and couldn't give him a child," she said sadly.

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, wishing I could kick Jacob Black's ass for hurting her like he had. "Baby, Jacob is an asshole trying to justify his actions. You know it's not your fault."

"But it might be. Hell, it probably was my fault. We tried a couple of different treatments, and the doctors never could really give us a definitive answer on why we never conceived, but history tells me that there's a very good chance I could never give you a child, Edward."

"And like I said, I can live with that. If we want to pursue that in the future, then we can do whatever it takes. If it works, great, but I'm not going to let you blame yourself for something that is out of your control. Besides, we could always consider adoption or something if we want to," I said, raising her chin with my finger to get her to look at me. "I love you, and you're enough, no matter what the future holds."

Bella's mouth quirked up in a small smile and tears shimmered in her eyes. "I love you, too. More than you know."

I smiled and kissed her, then carried her back to bed to show her how much she meant to me, even if I couldn't give her everything she deserved just yet.

Author's Note:

Well, they made it through Christmas and had some nice time together. Seems like Alice is fine as long as she doesn't see them together, but we'll see how long that lasts. We also got a little more insight into why Edward has never told the truth about Tanya.

Let me know what you think! Next chapter up soon!