Christmas morning at the Palm Woods had started normally enough.
The boys of Big Time Rush, along with Mrs. Knight and Katie, had just finished exchanging gifts amongst each other, which included the boys getting new phones, preloaded with all the hot apps, as Mrs. Knight so eloquently put it, a new psychology textbook for Logan, courtesy of James, thinking it would interest the budding young genius, a brand new monogrammed mirror for the resident pretty boy from Logan, amongst others for everyone.
Three out of four members of Big Time Rush were on cloud nine about being able to spend Christmas with people that they call family. Mrs. Knight can feel her heart swell with joy at the sight of her son sitting with his family contently on the orange couch, surrounded by his brothers, just trying to enjoy as much of the holiday as he could without the weight of constant stress from their musical day job and a certain abrasive music producer or just anxiety induced pressure weighing down on him, which had been a recent and slightly concerning development.
Over the past few months now it seemed, Kendall's friends had started to take notice of how the pressures of Hollywood were starting to take their toll on their friend. The smile, which once was a defining feature on their leader's face, had started to become more forced, almost plastic. His body would be noticeably more slumped, as if he were carrying the weight of the band's success on his shoulders. Logan, James and Carlos had noticed the way Gustavo's words and actions, as well meaning, or whatever the Gustavo variant to that he may be, had started to dig into Kendall's skin just a little more deeply than usual while they would be in dance rehearsal or while they were recording.
As luck would have it, as he stood up from his spot on their trusty orange couch, presents in hand, with the intention of putting them in the room he shared with Logan, Kendall wouldn't be so lucky.
The tightness that the blonde had felt for the past few days hadn't gone away. His heart began to feel like it was being crushed by a heavy weight, a feeling that he knew all too well. Then, suddenly, it felt like there was no air left in the room. He makes it as far as the dining table before an overwhelming feeling of dizziness hit him like being slammed into the boards by David Schmidt, the biggest player on their old Minnesota hockey team, causing him to drop the gifts onto the floor and stumble and grip the back of the chair in front of him in an attempt to steady himself.
As Kendall watched the rest of his family continue to enjoy the holiday morning, he felt his breathing grow heavier and heavier, like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. The overwhelming dizziness had caused his vision to start to grey out. His eyes wouldn't focus no matter how hard he tried.
The gasping and choking noises radiating from his chest had managed to draw Logan's attention. In the midst of Kendall's disoriented state, he could see the blurry form of the older, yet shorter, brunette coming towards him, giving him a look of concern.
"You okay man?" Logan asked, his voice coming out with an echo to it.
Just as Kendall was going to choke out some sort of response, he felt his legs give out from under him, forcing him to release the chair from his grasp before crumbling to the floor, landing on some of the fallen gifts.
"Ken, what's going on? What's happening?" Logan asked loudly with concern, gathering the attention of the other guys. The sudden appearance of his other two friends taking their places by Logan's side was enough to make the blonde flinch away from them.
Kendall could feel his windpipes closing, which greatly restricted his ability to speak. "H-h-help" he struggled to breathe out in between gasps for air, a pleading look creeping onto his features.
Logan immediately called out to their mother and guardian, recognizing the incoming panic attack, as he crouches down next to his best friend, taking Kendall's hand in his own. "Mrs. Knight! I need help!"
Jennifer quickly turns her attention away from the remaining forgotten Christmas presents in the coffee table and to the scene playing out in the dining room, her heart dropping with worry at the sight of her so gasping for air, slightly trembling with Logan clenching his brother's hand in worry, immediately making her way towards her sons.
"Kendall, sweetheart, it's okay, you're fine." Jennifer soothed, taking her son's hand from the brunette.
"C-can't breathe." Kendall managed to gasp out. "W-why c-c-can't I b-b-breathe?" The lack of air coming through his lungs was causing him to become lightheaded as a result.
"It's okay buddy," James chimed in gently, crouching down on the side opposite his best friend and guardian, running his fingers through Kendall's hair much like how he did whenever the blonde needed comforting as a kid. "It's just a panic attack. It's going to be fine. I'm going to need to take deep breaths for me." He instructed softly.
Kendall tried to do what his best friend had instructed, but his attempts proved to be in vain. He still felt his windpipe closing, the walls closing in on him. It only caused his internal sense of panic to spike, making the lightheaded feeling worse. He could feel his heart throb in his chest, he could see his vision blur and darken at the edges. He could hear wimpers echo around him, but he couldn't comprehend that they were coming from his own mouth.
"It's okay honey." His mother soothed. "You're going to be okay. Please try to take some deep breaths." She spoke, watching her son struggle for breath. Her heart broke at the sight. She turned to Carlos, who was still standing to the left of Logan with a look of worry on his face. "Carlos, honey, can you get Kenny a water bottle from the kitchen?"
Carlos shook his head in an attempt to clear the worry that had clouded his mind. "Yeah, sure," he replied, heading towards the direction of the kitchen.
It felt like Kendall had to fight for every breath that he took. Every intake of air was painful for him. He hadn't noticed that tears had spilled onto his faces till he could taste them in his mouth. His mom took notice of them and wiped them away with her thumb on her free hand.
With each intake of oxygen, Kendall could feel the overwhelming feeling of dizziness and lightheadedness take over him. He struggled to fight the feelings off of him. After a little bit of this, he let the darkness devour him, too physically exhausted to keep fighting it off.
James immediately took notice of this and picked him up off the floor and carried him upstairs to his bedroom. Carlos came out with a bottle of water in his hands and started to mildly panic when he saw James carry Kendall up the stairs to his and Logan's shared room.
Jennifer could see the worry on the oldest's face. Just as Carlos opened his mouth, she cut him off.
"James is just taking him upstairs. Kendall's going to be fine, he just needs to rest for a bit."
"Oh okay." Carlos responded, shaking some of the worry away.
"Can we go see him?" Logan asks.
Jennifer gave him a nod in response.
"Sure boys. Just don't make too much noise." She responded with a small smile.
The two boys nodded their head and made the quick trip up the stairs and to his brother's room. Once he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of James tucking his brother in. After giving Kendall a quick kiss on the forehead, James turned to face his other two friends.
"Hey guys." He whispered. "Kenny is going to be fine. He's breathing a lot better now."
"Yeah. I'm glad." Logan said, bowing his head and letting out a sigh of relief.
James saw the emotions in his best friend's face and grew concerned. "What's wrong, Loges?"
"I'm just worried about him James. I know he hasn't been doing well, with Gustavo breathing down his neck all the time." Logan explained.
"I know. I don't either. But there isn't really much we can do right now. We just need to wait until he wakes up." James concluded with a sigh.
"I know." Logan responded after taking a deep breath and letting it go.
Carlos, who has been staying silent throughout this conversation, just shakes his head. "We can't let him go on like this anymore. What if Kenny just gets worse?" He asks with concern.
James and Logan look at each other with solemn looks in their eyes. They don't need to really say anything to know that the Latino is right. Logan takes a deep breath before turning back to Carlos, putting an arm around him. "We just need to help remind him that even though he might think he's superhuman, that he's still just human," he answers with a soft, reassuring smile.
James gives them both an affirming nod before getting up and leaving the room, leaving the other two and a sleeping Kendall. Carlos made his way towards the blonde's bed, setting the bottle of water on the nightstand before taking a seat next to him, Logan following behind him and sitting down next to Carlos. He took another deep breath before speaking.
"Hey Kenny." Carlos started, taking one of Kendall's hands from under the blankets "I'm sorry that...that we haven't been there to help you with Gustavo and the band. We're sorry that shit's so wild right now. I wish I knew how to help you Ken, like you helped us."
"Yeah." Logan chimes in a soft voice. "You don't need to be Superman all the time. It's been proven that we work a little better as a team, than each of us as a solo project." He says before getting standing up and getting into the bed, gathering the slumbering blond into his arms, rubbing small circles into his back.
A small smile makes its way onto Logan's face when he feels Kendall curl up against him and let out a content sigh in his sleep. Logan looks at Carlos and gives him a look to tell him that he can go back downstairs with Mama Knight and Katie. Carlos takes the hint and leaves the room.
As the minutes of him holding the sleeping blonde turn into hours, Logan's eyes start to droop shut before they shut all the way, with the final thought in his mind before falling asleep being how to help the blonde leader in his hands realize that he doesn't always need to be a superhuman. That sometimes it's perfectly fine just to be a human.