Author's Note: Annnd another one! Thanks!
"Daddy?"
Quaritch holds out a hand and Neteyam carefully crawls into his lap at the table while the Recom continues reading through documents. He wraps one arm around Neteyam to keep him from falling off, while the other one is placed by his face, fingers rubbing at his chin and lips, eyes focused on what he's doing. Neteyam waits a few moments for Quaritch to finish what he's reading before calling out to him again.
"Yes, baby?"
"Um, can... I..." he points a little finger to his chest, "um, go... out..." he swallows, struggling to find the words. Quaritch waits patiently as he carefully continues, "forest... um... go with Zhang?" He points his finger toward the window. "Go, the forest, um... um... please, daddy?"
Quaritch looks out the window then back to him. "You want to go exploring some more?"
Neteyam nods, eyes bright. "More... for... um..." He looks around, like the words were floating around his head. He mumbles in Na'vi, like it will help him recall. He looks over at Quaritch, ears twitching as he points to the beads in his hair. "This, daddy? This?"
"Beads?"
Neteyam nods, eyes brightening. "Yes! Can I? With Zhang?"
Six months. It's been six months since their failed attack on Jake Sully and the surprising, and unforeseeable, acquisition of Neteyam Sully. They fell into a routine. Neteyam was learning English and the Recoms were learning Na'vi. Daddy had made everyone promise to only speak to Neteyam in Na'vi whenever they were out and about, and for Neteyam to not breathe a word of English to anyone outside of the Recoms. If Neteyam needed to speak to anyone that wasn't them, then it would be to people who already understood the Na'vi language, who daddy had referred to as, "science pukes".
Neteyam wasn't sure why daddy didn't want anyone else to know that Neteyam was learning English, but he trusted daddy and kept his word. And even though he was growing in his understanding of English, as both that and Na'vi were spoken between all of them, he came to realize that people outside of the Recoms were more willing to speak freely around him when they thought that he didn't understand.
He's not sure if that was daddy's intention but it certainly proved to be interesting. It taught Neteyam to never trust a smile and a tone for words. Many of the people he wasn't supposed to talk to would speak to him with a smile and say words in a kind tone, but they were not kind words. They were mean. And some of them were scary. Bad words that he wasn't ever allowed to repeat.
The first time Neteyam asked daddy what someone meant when they had said something he wasn't supposed to understand, his daddy's face darkened in rage. He hadn't understood the words, or the context in which they were said, but daddy did, and so did Lyle and Zhang, who were both close by when he asked.
Daddy's smile was ice cold in rage, and he simply told Neteyam to never go near them again. To never be alone with them. Neteyam agreed, mostly because he didn't really like anyone outside of the Recoms and a few of the scientists, which is what they preferred to be called, telling Neteyam that he shouldn't repeat everything his daddy said. His daddy had shrugged at that, not wholly disagreeing.
Mansk managed to get his hands on a lot of a famous scientist by the name of Grace Augustine's video logs detailing the lifestyle and customs of the Omatikaya people for Neteyam, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He knew that he was of the Omatikaya. He recognized their customs and a lot of the clothings and items were familiar to him. He used Grace's logs to help him expand his world, slowly but surely.
Neteyam never asked why he wasn't with the Omatikaya anymore. He was with daddy, so it didn't matter. He was where he needed to be.
Daddy didn't believe in Eywa, nor did the other Recoms, but none of them minded that Neteyam did. None of them minded when he would stand out in the forest and let the atokirina hover around him, or when he found a Tree of Voices and asked if they would let him form tsahaylu with it. None of them ever joined him, but they never stopped him either. That first time, daddy had been so tense, his face pinched in worry. They all had, when he formed tsahaylu, as if they were afraid of what he would see. None of them seemed to understand him when he told them that he saw the past. And those that passed.
Neteyam knew something was amiss between the RDA and the Omatikaya. He knew that there was someone bad out there that his daddy was hunting, but they didn't talk to him about it. They didn't want him to know. He was too young. He didn't need to focus on any of this for now.
So, he spent every day playing. He would run "drills" with the Recoms. He would help them with their projects or play with them in their free time. He would go out with them when they scouted because they were the center of his universe. He was so happy that the decided not to leave him in the base alone. He was scared to be alone, and he missed Daddy terribly whenever he was gone.
Sleeping under the stars and exploring the forest was his favorite times. He recognizes that they were actually working while they were out there, but they never stopped him from having fun. He wasn't sure why they let him come along, but he loved that they did. He loved laying in the curve of daddy's arm, up against his side, staring up at the stars while daddy told him about Earth. About the place that Daddy and the other Recoms had been born on. About how before they became what they are, they looked like humans, Sky People.
Daddy said that their Sky People bodies were gone and now they were just... them. Neteyam didn't mind. He loved them just the way that they are.
Daddy also made sure to explain to him the difference between the Recoms, such as himself and the team, and Avatars. People that look like Recoms but still have their Sky People bodies too. He explained to Neteyam that they had special machines that allowed them to opperate both bodies. Neteyam didn't fully understand, but he knew that he would in time.
It seemed like every day that they were back at Bridgehead he was asking to go out into the forest, mostly with Zhang because the older man just seemed so content to follow him around, carrying whatever the little boy gave him. It was Zhang that got a bunch of the things that Neteyam made. Well, they all did. But Zhang always got first pick. Within the six months of them all being here, Neteyam has been carefully giving them all little trinkets made from his memory and from the video logs by Grace and her observations of what the Omatikaya made and how they made it. Small pieces of him that they each carry around with them.
Neteyam looks down at daddy's lap, spotting the song cord attached to his belt loop that he had started for him - he had started one for all of them. Most of the others easily acquiesced to his desire for them to keep track of their lives through their song cord - Maria going so far as to say, they really did start a new life - but daddy was the hardest to keep on track. Unlike the rest that made sure to keep it on them, Neteyam had taken it upon himself to make sure daddy always had his with him. They mostly wore what he made them, cycling through all the things he's been making, but the song cords always stayed, except for whenever they went in for meetings with the scary lady and the other people on the other side of Bridgehead, they hid their song cords.
Neteyam doesn't know why, and he doesn't ask.
Neteyam had made sure to add two new pieces to his own song cord. One for the Recoms, and one for daddy.
Sweetly, daddy will sometimes whistle Neteyam's song to him at night. Daddy didn't hum it like some of the others would when he asked. But daddy did whistle it for him. Sometimes without Neteyam even asking.
Smiling down at the song cord, Neteyam looks back at daddy. "Me? Neteyam with Zhang, daddy? Please?"
Daddy purses his lips at him. "You're running him ragged, Neteyam. Give Zhang a break. He spends more time following you around that forest than he does here." Neteyam pouts.
The young boy twists on his lap, wrapping his arms around his daddy's neck so that they can be face to face. Daddy gives him a look that says he doesn't approve of Neteyam "acting cute" as he calls it, when Neteyam is just... well, being cute. He smiles softly, nuzzling his daddy's cheek and softly asking, "Please, daddy? The forest? With Zhang? Please?"
Daddy squeezes his ribs to get him to stop nuzzling him. Despite the scowl on his face, Neteyam knows that he isn't actually upset. Neteyam smiles at him, flashing two sets of tiny fangs.
"You listen here, little boy," Quaritch rumbles, still scowling at him. "Now I already told you, you're going out there every day. Take a load off."
Zhang, who was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, shrugs a bit. "I'm okay, Colonel. So long as you don't mind."
Neteyam nods, looking at Quaritch with bit eyes, nuzzling the older man's cheek before hugging him tightly. "Just small. Not many, okay?"
Quaritch sighs, rubbing at Neteyam's back. "If you're trying to tell me that you'll only go for a little bit, you can't fool me. If I don't make sure you come back, you'll be gone for hours. If you go, it'll be for an hour, you got it? And no puppy dog eyes to Zhang to convince him to let you stay out longer. I'll send out the search party, you get that? One hour." He holds up a single finger.
Neteyam nods, squeezing around his daddy's neck a bit harder before pulling back. "Yes, one."
"One hour, you hear me, baby boy?"
"Yes, daddy!" Neteyam beams, flashing those tiny fangs again. "Please, one?"
Quaritch, still scowling at him, nods. He holds that one finger up towards Neteyam again. "One hour, son. Then I'm sending out the troops."
Neteyam nods, although he doesn't know how to tell time yet, Zhang will keep them on track. He pushes off of Quaritch's lap and races over to the other man, taking one of his fingers and pulling him towards the exit. Zhang checks his watch before nodding at Quaritch.
"One hour," he says.
"Don't let him bully you, Zhang," Lopez jests from the other side of the commons area.
"Yeah," Brown laughs. "He's under half your height and one third your body weight, you can take him."
Zhang casts him a long look as he's dragged to the door with an expression that says he doubts he could, making the other two laugh. Quaritch rolls his eyes before getting back to his documents.
Neteyam made the most of his hour. He gathered up all sorts of sticks and stones, even gathered up some fruit to bring back, as well as filled some containers that Z got him for plant dye that they can make back at the base. He still wore tewng so he had to make them for himself. Luckily Z, Warren and Fike help him out. Daddy lived a much more spartan lifestyle, more minimalistic, so their room - because daddy completely stopped pretending to make him sleep on the couch - was full of all the things that Neteyam was making and his gifts to everyone.
His hour comes to an end too quickly for Neteyam's liking. He takes Zhang's hand when the man offered it with a steady, "Neteyam," before allowing the man to guide him back to the base.
Once they make it back, after hugging Zhang's legs tightly, Neteyam takes his hoard like a happy little dragon and brings it back to his room that he shares with his daddy and gets to work. Quaritch finds him there a few hours later to see Neteyam curled up into a little ball surrounded by his things, fast asleep.
"I knew you were too quiet in here," Quaritch says softly, scooping up the little boy in his arms and cradling him to his chest. He sits down on his bed, holding Neteyam close as the little boy wraps his arms around him, nuzzling into his chest, letting out a little content sigh. His little face peaceful and serene, eyes flickering around beneath his eyelids as he dreams.
"I think he's getting sick," Maria says softly.
Quaritch glances up to see her and Lyle at the doorway. She's leaning against the frame, and he's pressed up behind her.
"What makes you say that?" Quaritch asks, looking down at the sleeping boy in his arms, frowning.
"He isn't eating again today. He just takes a few bites and pretends that he's full. Keep an eye on him tonight, okay? It might be why he was so insistent on you letting him go out today," Maria says smoothly, glancing down at the little boy.
"He knows you're going to lock him down in Bridgehead if he gets sick and he won't be able to out and get more of his... supplies," Lyle offers, raising an eyebrow. He intentionally looks around the room at all the piles Neteyam had made with his bounty from earlier.
Quaritch sighs, glancing down at the little boy in his arms. He doesn't deny it, because it's true. Six months, and Neteyam is sick on and off. Immune boosters are a life saver, but it just goes to show how shot it is. And Neteyam doesn't tell them he's getting sick, despite Quaritch and Maria insisting that he does. That whenever he's not feeling well, he has to tell them. But he won't. At first, he looked at Quaritch in fear, like he was scared of what the man would say, but after the first few times, when all Quaritch did was carry him around and rub at his back to sooth him, he seemed so much calmer.
Still, he never said a word. Never tells them he's not well.
Quaritch still burns in rage just thinking about that first time.
Why did Neteyam look scared of him? What other reason could it be other than Jake Sully? Did Jake make Neteyam feel bad for being sick? When it is literally Jake's gummed up DNA that made him this way? How, just like with everything, Neteyam's sickness, his physical weakness was all Jake Sully's fault? And that traitorous bastard had the nerve to make his son feel bad for being born?
How fucking dare he? Does he not realize how precious Neteyam is? He does nothing wrong. He's so sweet, so well behaved. Quaritch couldn't ask for a better son, so what made Jake Sully so fucking worthy of anything better? Neteyam was a perfect little angel.
So Quaritch became the opposite. He became soothing and sweet. He would cuddle the little boy. Hug and kiss his burning cheeks. Stay awake at night and listen to his hoarse breathing. He would sit beside the tub and lightly drop small hand scoops of water down his back as he would lean against the porcelain to bring down the fever. He would only want to sleep and mostly in Quaritch's arms. Sometimes he'll accept Maria or Lyle or even Zhang, but when offered, he'll always go back to Quaritch.
"Why don't you tell me, Neteyam?" Quaritch asks softly to the sleeping boy. "Why don't you tell me when you don't feel well?"
The little boy doesn't respond. He just sleeps peacefully, little tail tapping against Quaritch's thigh as he dreams. He shifts a bit, wrapping tighter around Quaritch and lets out another little sigh before a soft, tiny little cough escapes him. Quaritch closes his eyes tightly, hugging the little boy more to him.
Neteyam opens his eyes, face crinkling a bit at being awakened. He looks at Quaritch before his expression smooths out and he hugs his daddy tightly. He smiles at him, rasping out a sleepy, "Hi, daddy."
With a little sigh, Quaritch presses his forehead to Neteyam's. "Hi, baby. Did you have a good nap?"
Neteyam nods, turning big golden eyes over toward Lyle and Maria, smiling at them too. "Play? With Neteyam me?"
"You just woke up," Lyle says, offering a smile. He rests his arm on the frame above Maria's head. "And you already want to play?"
Neteyam nods again, smiling sweetly. Quaritch rubs at his back. "Now, now. How about you get something to eat first and if you're still feeling up to it, then you can play for a little bit, okay? But then it's bedtime, you hear?"
Neteyam yawns, rubbing at his eyes but pulls back enough to slide off of Quaritch's lap. He staggers, holding his head while Quaritch's hands on his ribs hold him steady for a moment. Once Neteyam's fuzzy head clears, he gives himself a little shake before he heads over to Maria. The female Recom holds out a hand for him to take, which he does, before leading him out into the commons area, asking him if he would like some of the fruit that he collected earlier.
Fike joins them at the table as they sit around and chat. Neteyam taking a few slow bites of the fruit Maria cut up for him. When he slows down after finishing the second slice, Maria takes the two remaining slices and puts it with the rest of the fruit to seal it up for him to have later. And instead of Lyle, Fike asks if Neteyam wanted to watch him play his game, which Neteyam eagerly agreed with after Quaritch nodded his approval. He would prefer that over Neteyam running around with Lyle while it is now obvious to him that Neteyam is getting sick again.
Before they head off, Maria gives him some medicine that made his little face pinch in disgust before leaving. But he didn't complain. He never does. He just followed Fike to his room, tail swaying and giggling happily.
"You have a very strange superpower, Walker," Quaritch says after they're gone.
She shrugs, resting her cheek on the heel of her palm. "What can I say? If I'm going to be extraordinarily good at a single thing, why not let it be to know when Neteyam is sick and pretending not to be?" She rolls her eyes but turns to look over her shoulder towards Fike's room, hearing both him and Neteyam laugh at their game from the open door. "I love that little boy," she says softly. "But god damn does he make me incredibly sad sometimes."
Neither of the two men argue her words. They finish up eating, talking with Warren and Lopez, when they join them, before Quaritch climbs to his feet, throwing away his dinner before heading for Fike's room, stopping in the doorway. Quaritch crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe to peer into the room. It's dark in there, with only the lamp on the other side of the room and the screen's light from the video game in Fike's hand.
Fike is laid back with Neteyam's cheek resting on his shoulder, big golden eyes watching the screen, nestled safely with Fike's arm around him. Neteyam has one of his hands up to his lips, pulling at his lip. It's a bad habit of his. He'll peel the skin off his lips when he gets nervous, and the indoor air is drier than the humid rainforest that he's used to, so his skin dries out easier, chapping his lips especially.
Humidifiers and lots of lip balm was Maria's solution, especially when Neteyam picked his lips enough for them to bleed whenever he would be forced to see the scientists. It's getting easier, bit by bit, but he's still scared of them.
Quaritch blinks when Fike asks, "Do you want to try, Neteyam?"
Neteyam shakes his head, resting his head more on Fike's shoulder and chest, still watching the screen. He doesn't like to play, but he does like to watch Fike play. He likes to listen to Fike explain the lore of the game's universe and the characters as well as their pasts. His long, thin tail curls up into the air, swaying back and forth in the dim light, casting shadows across the walls.
"Neteyam," Quaritch warns from the doorway. Neteyam flinches, glancing down at him before pulling his fingers away from his lips and just resting his little fist by his face, mumbling an apology in Na'vi. "You ready for bed?"
"He's okay for a bit longer, if you want, Colonel," Fike says easily, lowering the game to peer at him through the growing darkness.
Quaritch nods. "I'm going to shower and finish up some last-minute reports, then I'll come get him."
Fike nods, corner of his lip quirked. "Yes sir. We'll be here."
They go back to their game while Quaritch heads back to his room. He cleans up Neteyam's piles, pushing them off to the side but keeping them separate before gathering his clothes and heading into his shower. In the bathroom he removes his green tank top and socks, before pulling off his belt and stops, pulling up the song cord Neteyam made him that was wrapped around his belt loop.
He lightly rubs the beat Neteyam placed on it to symbolize himself, small, round and painted blue - Neteyam's favorite color. He thinks about Neteyam's own song cord, with the dark blue bead for Deja Blue and the green bead - Quaritch's own favorite color. His eyes track down the small song cord, hearing Neteyam's soft humming in his ear. Quaritch wasn't making his own song, so Neteyam did for him. The others eventually took to their song cords at Neteyam's insistence, their songs - while new to Neteyam - were very reminiscent to songs Quaritch had heard from Earth.
Just with the stories of their lives as the new lyrics, instead.
Emotion washes over him, and Quaritch closes his eyes to it, holding the song cord to his chest. He's fighting a losing battle, he knows. He keeps telling the team when the time is right, they'll use Neteyam to lure Jake into a trap and that'll be the end of it. But they stopped believing him a long time ago. They say they do. They nod and plan, but he can see it in their eyes. They knew long before he did - even now he still fights himself to accept it.
Quaritch doesn't want to let him go. Six months isn't enough time. And Neteyam... Neteyam needs him. Neteyam needs him to be the father that Jake Sully could never be. In a beautiful fantasy, Neteyam would have been born his son. Would be his flesh and blood. And Jake Sully would be... nothing. Not a memory. Not a foe. Nothing. Their reality wouldn't be as it is. Neteyam wouldn't have a biological father and mother out there that he hasn't asked about. Neteyam won't be silently calling out to the forest, the place he most desires to be. The sick fucks in Bridgehead won't be saying shit about Neteyam at all, let alone within ear shot.
The way they leer and call after him. Talking about him so suggestively as if he wasn't just a baby that still cried when storms woke him from a dead sleep. How any of his men haven't lost their cool - aside from Ja that one time - and taken the fight straight to them, he has no idea. While these idiots were dumb enough to talk that disgusting shit where his men could hear, they were at least smart enough to keep their mouths shut around Lyle, remembering what he used to do to the locals. To anyone who got in his way.
Lyle's been good. Nice and tame. Mostly for Neteyam's sake, it seems. And, well, Maria. She never cared for that brutality, and he's fancied her for years. Quaritch had always suspected that he's trying to be better for her. Sometimes he lost his way, but never with her around.
And if anyone thought to breathe a word in front of Quaritch... about his son? Well, Quaritch isn't sure he knows what he'll do.
Quaritch has begun to think that Neteyam forgot them. Jake and Neytiri. That the poisoning and the sickness was bad enough that he forgot them. He doesn't ask for them. He doesn't look for them. He is fascinated by the Omatikaya, but he doesn't ask to go back, despite acknowledging that they were his clan. All Neteyam ever asks for is Quaritch.
And Neteyam is everything Quaritch could have ever asked for.
As his love for Neteyam grows, his desire to hunt Jake Sully wanes. It's wrong, he knows that it is. Jake knows where Miles Jr is. If he's even alive. Quaritch should figure that out sooner rather than later.
Quaritch is fighting in a war he's not sure he's going to win. He doesn't know what comes next. He doesn't know how to face the conflict between his head and his heart. Neteyam, unknowingly, is killing him. Killing the man that is thirsting for vengeance. That swore to hunt Jake Sully and his bitch alien wife to the ends of Pandora for what they did. Yet that desire is fading more and more with time. And he has no idea how to make it stop.
Once he's all cleaned up, he checks his emails, reading over reports that just came in about the Omatikaya movements before shutting his computer down and heading back into the hall. Prager, Z, Warren, and Lyle are sitting out in the commons, looking over a map - also having seen the reports it seems - discussing their next moves.
They'll talk in the morning, once everyone has had a chance to read over the reports and have some time to think on it.
Quaritch stops outside of Fike's room again, seeing that they are both exactly where he left them about an hour before, except this time, Neteyam's eyes are closed. His little fist, resting on Fike's chest, is half open and his breathing is labored. Even his tail is draped over the side of the bed, unmoving.
"He's been out for a while," Fike says, glancing at Quaritch from over the top of his game. Quaritch nods, walking into the room and over to the bed. Fike unwraps his arm from around Neteyam so that Quaritch can pull him up into his arms.
"Let's get you to bed now, baby boy, you've had a long day," Quaritch says softly into Neteyam's ear as he carries his little boy into the next room. He turns on the ceiling fan and the humidifier before lowering into bed with the little boy on his chest and covering Neteyam up. Quaritch stares up at the ceiling, running his hands up and down the warm skin on Neteyam's back, smiling faintly when he started to purr contently.
Quaritch lets out a long sigh before closing his eyes, willing the war in his mind to quiet so that he can try to get some sleep.