Karin could not sleep. There was nothing odd about that, but it was more than her usual bouts of sleeplessness. For years, She had been used to napping in short bursts and getting up multiple times at night to care for her daughter, Lisa. The habit had not died along with the little girl.
Karin had only experienced this type of sleeplessness once before. It was at her first science fiction convention when she was seventeen. Her body had been aching with exhaustion then, too. But with her brain still hyped up on adrenaline (and then caffeine) and her mind going a thousand light years per minute, she just could not settle down enough to rest.
Like now, she fretted silently.
Not even the huge sleeping warm mound of hair with his arm draped so protectively over her was helping her to relax. She envied Maurice's deep slumber, even if part of it was artificially induced.
I should have asked Sparrow for some of whatever she gave him, Karin thought ruefully. Wonder if I can get a six pack of it from her when I go home?
Cuddled safely against Maurice, Karin lay perfectly still for a long time, breathing in and out with great care, trying to wish herself back to sleep. She quickly gave it up. It had been a long time since she tried, and truthfully, she had never come close to mastering the skill. Finding inner peace was not one of her strong points.
So, she shifted her body ever so slightly, and Maurice's breathing immediately changed, so she stopped and waited. When his breathing went back to normal, she tried again … and again. It was a painfully slow and tedious process. All in all, it took her almost five minutes to gently extract herself from the sleeping orangutan's protective embrace, and inch out of the healing nest.
Karin stood by the nest and gazed down fondly at her companion. She carefully tucked a heap of soft pelts against him in her place. She would be back long before he fully woke up to realize her pathetic deception, she hoped.
She checked the time on her Father's old battered TimeX watch, then made her way on tip toe to the door of the hut. But when she slowly drew back the thick animal skins, another large looming mound of fur was standing there, directly in front of her. She shrank back and gave an involuntary gasp of sheer terror, but before she could cry out, the ape quickly reached out and put two fingers gently over her lips. Before she could even thrash her head in protest, a deep familiar voice spoke softly in her ear,
"Karin, it is Caesar," he grunted softly.
"Oh, Jesus!" She hissed, and he released her. "Caesar! You scared the ... the petunias out of me. What are you doing here?" She groaned.
"I was—" he began, but Karin touched his hand, shot an anxious look back at the healing nest where Maurice lay, and shook her head firmly at the ape king. She was sure the ape king was speaking as softly as he could, but it was not soft enough to suit her frayed nerves.
"Please, if you want to talk, can we please go outside, Caesar?" she whispered. "I don't want him waking up."
Also shooting the slumbering orangutan an anxious look, Caesar winced in sympathy, and Karin thought he did not want to deal with a suddenly awakened Maurice, either. She watched and waited a little impatiently as the ape king moved silently past her to gaze down at his old friend. When he came back to her side, he stretched out his hand, and she let him lead her out of the hut. One of the old gorilla twins, Karin could not tell which one, put her head out of the hut next door, but Caesar signed something to her. The older gorilla woman signed something rather curtly back to Caesar. The venerable gorilla lady did not look too pleased, but she went back inside with only a small grunt of displeasure.
After they had taken a few paces away from the healing huts, Caesar gave a low amused huff, then he began to speak. His speech reminded Karin strongly of Maurice's speech when they had met, halting, even struggling at times but absolutely determined to go on, nevertheless.
"Sonya says … do not stay out late," he translated for Karin's benefit.
"For both of us, yeah, I kind of figured," Karin chuckled. "You wonder around sometimes at night too, do you?'
"Sometimes," Caesar admitted.
"I'm surprised. I mean, with the rude awakening I must have given you yesterday morning. You ought to be dead to the world," Karin told him. "Does Cornelia know you get out and about at night like this?"
"Yes, she knows, but does not like much," Caesar told her.
"And I thought I had a hard time getting away from Maurice," Karin mused with a faint grin. "Must be even harder for you, getting out and not waking a wife and child. I hope you aren't up tonight on my account."
Caesar just shrugged, and Karin changed the subject.
"Is all that my fault, too?" she asked, spying a few large shadows walking in the distance. "Do the gorillas always patrol at night like that?"
"No, and yes," Caesar answered her questions in order. "Always have some guards at night."
"Even with that big wall up?" Karin asked, surprised.
Caesar nodded.
"Human troubles?" Karin asked in a small voice.
"No, not much anymore," Caesar said. "See less and less signs of humans every day."
"That must be a relief for you," Karin remarked.
The ape King fell silent.
'It's alright if it is, Caesar," Karin hastened to reassure him. "It's a big relief to me too that they don't come around much anymore."
But, when Caesar remained silent, Karin became concerned. Totally misinterpreting his reasons, The woman plunged ahead, trying to reassure the Ape King.
"Listen, Caesar, I promise I'll be gone as soon as Maurice is on his feet again." Karin insisted.
She had expected great relief, maybe even joy, but Caesar's concern only seemed to deepen.
"You don't believe me?" Karin asked.
"When will you go back?" Caesar asked.
Karin looked confused.
"uh, I'll leave when Maurice is back on his feet, I promise," she repeated, but Caesar just grunted and shook his head.
"No ... When will you go back to humans?" he tried to clarify.
It took her a minute, but Karin thought she finally understood what he was asking her. She answered him without hesitation.
"Never!" she stated firmly. "No matter what happens, I will never go back to any of those human hell holes, Caesar! I'll die out here alone first before I ever go back to them!"
Caesar looked relieved that she understood, but he also looked shocked by her vehemence. What had humans done to this woman before they began to disappear from the world?
"I mean it, Caesar," Karin went on more quietly, but just as determined. "I have no one to go back to, and I will never go back, no matter what. So, if you're afraid I'm gonna lead a group of humans to this village, put your mind at ease on that score, please."
The Ape King watched her in silence for a long moment.
"Maurice," Caesar began gravely. "He will hurt much… if you go away."
Just the mention of Maurice's possibly being hurt was enough to bring a lump to Karin's throat and fresh tears to her eyes. The ape King, his expression softening, gently patted her shoulder, trying to be comforting.
"Caesar ... Maurice is the sweetest, the gentlest and most kind person I've ever met in my life," Karin said softly. "Please believe me, I never do anything to hurt him. But I have just by coming here, I know that. I'm so sorry I've put him, and you, in this … this predicament."
The Ape King did not agree or disagree with her. He only shrugged.
"Not your fault," Caesar stated. "Maurice … follows his heart … no matter what."
His guilty conscience you mean, Karin thought but did not say out loud.
She wondered if it were her imagination, but just like Maurice, Caesar's speech seemed to be growing easier for him the longer they spoke.
"So, he always picks up human strays then?" Karin tried to joke. It fell a bit flat.
Caesar gave a low chuckle.
"You are first … that I know about."
Karin gave a tired smile, and again changed the subject. She was afraid if they talked about Maurice much more that she really would break down and ball right in front of the ape King.
"Listen, Caesar, can I, uh, ask a small favour of you?" Karin asked timidly.
"You leave your home to feed us during hard winters. You saved Maurice's life. Whatever I can do, I will do," Caesar vowed. "Cornelia feels the same."
Karin chuckled.
"It's not quite so grave, Caesar. It's about Mary's Father, Koba—"
Caesar stiffened, and Karin rushed on.
'Oh, don't worry. I just wondered if you could give him a message from me. I don't know if Mary was able to tell him."
Now she thought she saw burning curiosity in Caesar's green eyes.
"Tell Koba what?" Caesar asked.
"I've been wanting to thank him for saving my life." Karin explained. "But, well, he's not the easiest ape to have a talk with, you know?"
Caesar grunted, but he looked surprised.
"Do know," he agreed. "Not easy for apes, either. Koba only close with his daughter, Mary. When did he save your life?"
It was Karin's turn to look surprised. "Hasn't he told you anything about what happened? When I was attacked by that other ape, I mean?"
Caesar shook his head.
"Well, I guess he wouldn't want it noised about the village that he saved a human," Karin remarked. "But I thought he would tell you, at least. I can't remember all the details, but I do remember passing out somewhere in the woods maybe a mile or two away from home. Might have even been further than that. I was really disoriented by that point. Koba and the other ape were still fighting when I tried to crawl away and blacked out. Then, the next thing I knew I heard my daughter crying from inside and waking up in front of my house with Koba being there. So, he had to have carried me home. Or dragged me there, it doesn't really matter either way."
Karin did not realize that she had stopped walking. She did not realize that her arms were now tightly wrapped around herself and that she was violently trembling, the fragmented memories hitting her all of a sudden in a vicious wave of post-traumatic stress that literally brought her to her knees. She was only vaguely aware of an alarmed Caesar kneeling in front of her, but the memories had come on so strong that when the ape King reached for her shoulders, she cried out involuntarily and flinched away from his caring hands. The sickening pain that had racked her head where he had slammed it repeatedly against the tree and the lower half of her body seemed to course through her once again, and the blood that coated her from her lower back down, the heavy weight crashing down on top of her before it was dragged off… This was what she was remembering now. But as she flinched unknowingly away from Caesar, the sudden motion caused her to fall flat on her backside, on to a very unforgiving rock, and this helped to bring her back to the here and now.
"Ouch," she muttered absently, gazing up at a worried-looking Caesar and two astonished gorillas, her vision slowly coming back in to focus. Now when did they get here, Karin wondered. Oh no! How long was I gone for this time?
"Anyway," Karin went on, trying to sound nonchalant and starting to climb slowly to her feet. She swayed alarmingly, and all the apes moved, but it was the gorilla called Luca who was the one to help her up.
"Thank you," she told him, giving them all an embarrassed and apologetic look as she leaned on the familiar arm. It was the second time she'd got a close up look at it in the last twenty-four hours.
"I'm okay," she said, but it was clear that none of the apes around her believed a word of that. "I'm fine," she said firmly, giving the apes a shaky but determined smile. "I just have these, spells, sometimes. They always pass, though. Just a little PTSD coming down on me, guys, that's all."
By their expressions, Karin could see they had no idea what PTSD meant, and she was not about to try and explain it to them.
Separating herself from the helpful silver-back and his strong arm, Karin again turned to Caesar.
"Caesar, please, tell them it's alright."
Caesar gave her a penetrating look. That look said that he knew she was lying through her teeth, and Karin gazed back at him calmly, letting him know that she knew that he knew it. But he made a few signs, and the two gorillas moved away, Luca stopping often to look back at his King and the human woman.
"Thank you," she told Caesar with real gratitude. "Now, where was I?" Karin straightened and brushed her hands together as if brushing away the embarrassing incident. "What was I talking about? Oh, right, Koba. I was in no shape to crawl let alone walk. I could barely drag myself back in to my house when I was lying practically on my front doorstep. So, it had to have been Koba who brought me back home after the attack. Anyway, if you could just tell him how grateful I am—he not only saved me but more important is he saved my daughter, too. I just wish I could show how grateful I am, somehow. I wish I could do something for him."
"You already did," Caesar commented.
Karin gave a brittle laugh. "How, by leaving as soon as possible?"
Caesar hoot panted softly. "You saved his daughter."
"I did? How?"
Last year, Mary was sick," Caesar explained. "She gets sick at least once each winter, sickness none of the rest of us catch. This time was bad. We all feared she would die. She could not keep down her food. But the food you give us. It was all Mary could eat for weeks. Your gift, it kept her alive."
Karin's eyes widened. Though she had known the strange ape child for less than a day, Karin could not bear the thought of Mary dying, and it showed on her face.
Caesar gave her hand a light squeeze. "You are also kind to his daughter," Caesar explained. "Koba almost never treats those good to Mary harshly."
"Almost never, huh?" Karin repeated Caesar's words with a small smile playing about her lips. 'I'll keep the almost in mind."
It was Caesar's turn to lightly pant chuckle a bit.
"I will tell Koba," Caesar promised. "Now, I must tell you. Good news from Koba. One who hurt you. He is dead."
"Dead?" Karin gasped, her eyes going very wide. She gripped Caesar's arm and looked at him, her face a mix of disbelief and a timid hope. "Are you sure? But how do you know that he's really dead? How could you know? You weren't there too, were you?"
Caesar shook his head. "Koba tells me. Saw his body. He is dead," Caesar said gently.
"Did Koba kill him?" Karin asked in a very small voice. "Before I blacked out, I heard fighting, terrible fighting! I thought… I thought they were fighting to see who would get to capture me… or kill me or…""
Her voice was rising and breaking all at the same time.
"Yes," Caesar replied quickly. "His name was Pope. He did lots of very bad things to humans and to apes. Koba killed him. You are safe from him forever."
"Oh, God!" Karin let out her breath in a sob of sheer relief. "I've been waiting to see him again forever. I've been waiting for him to come back and finish me off. When Lisa died ... my only comfort was that when he came back, he couldn't hurt her now!"
Karin broke off with a gulp as she tried to swallow down her sobs. She did not want ot bring the big silver-back around again. "It's gonna take some getting used to, him being really dead and gone. But if it's not him, then who's messing around my house, his vengeful little brother?"
"No brothers," Caesar huffed quietly. "I don't know who torments you... yet," Caesar told her. "But I will find out."
Karin did not doubt it for one moment. "I see now why you and Maurice are so close," she remarked quietly. "I can't talk him out of leaving it alone, either."
Karin rested her hand on Caesar's arm, and they walked a bit longer in companionable silence, the woman taking careful note of each gorilla guard they passed.
After they had made at least one round of the village, maybe two, Karin found herself back outside the healing hut where Maurice slept. This was good because exhausted was creeping over her again.
"Feel better now? Maybe can sleep?" the ape king asked concernedly.
Karin gave the big chimpanzee a tired grin. "Well, I'll try it if you will," she bargained. "Don't know about the sleep, but I suppose I ought to get back before Maurice wakes up and misses me and sends out more gorilla guards."
As if on cue, another gorilla guard walked by, and Karin watched him intently. He scowled, until he saw Caesar. Forcing his face in to a lighter frown, the gorilla simply walked away with a nod of his head ot Caesar but ignoring Karin as if she was not there.
"Friend of Koba?" Karin inquired.
Caesar only shrugged.
"Something wrong?" Caesar asked, finally noticing her preoccupation with the gorillas. "Did one of my gorilla guard disturb you?"
"What, oh no, it's nothing like that," she said a bit vaguely. She had been in the village for over a day now, and still she had seen no sign of him anywhere. Given his size, he should not be hard to miss. So, where was he?
She opened her mouth to ask Caesar a question about the gorillas, but a huge yawn escaped instead, and she thought better of it.
"Good night, Caesar. Thank you for the walk. Give Cornelia a hug and a kiss for me."
Caesar patted her hand and closed the animal skin door behind her as she re-entered the healing hut "Thank you. For talk," he grunted softly before leaving she assumed for his own home.
Tiptoeing over to the healing nest, Karin painstakingly eased the mound of pelts out of Maurice's arms. That was the easy part. Settling herself back in against the orangutan's warm body was a lot harder, but she managed. Leaning her head against his chest, Karin took a deep breath and started to relax.
"Pelts," a low sleepy rumbling purr came from deep within the orangutan's chest. "Pelts … Really, Karin?"
The poor woman nearly jumped out of her skin. She twisted around to face the chuckling orangutan.
"OH, Maurice! How long have you been awake? Sorry, I'll use rocks next time. " she demanded.
"Since before you and Caesar left," the orangutan confirmed. He stretched one hand forth and carefully stroked her hair and the back of her neck to sooth her and to welcome her back. "Have a nice talk?"
"Don't try and change the subject," Karin complained, but a lot of her irritation was being swept away by the orangutan's soothing touch.
"Good that Caesar has a human to talk to now," Maurice rumbled. "Caesar misses humans terribly."
"Well, I Hope he doesn't get too attached. I won't be around long," Karin said before she thought.
Maurice gave a start, and she thought she saw first hurt and/or deep sadness flash quickly in the big orangutan's eyes. Seeing this made her own throat tighten up. She resisted the urge to fling both arms around his neck, and settled for shyly stroking his hair, virtually copying his own gestures. Even in the dark, those soulful orangutan eyes were burrowing deep and permanently into her very soul.
"Oh, come on, please don't look at me like that, Maurice," the woman pleaded. "You know what I've promised Caesar and Cornelia. This is your home. It isn't mine. I have to go back to the house when you're well."
"No. No, not safe there alone," Maurice objected.
"It's as safe as it's ever been or ever will be, Maurice," Karin argued. 'And anyway," she added, "since now that Lisa's gone, my safety doesn't matter much."
Karin knew it was a mistake saying that out loud. She knew it even before Maurice's face took on his stubborn look. That was bad enough, but before she could stammer out some apology, the big orangutan's expression grew thoughtful, and she knew she was in even more trouble.
"hmm," Maurice rumbled almost to himself, but not quite. "Healing might take very long time then," Maurice said slyly.
"Maurice, don't you dare," she pleaded. "Don't you dare make me break my promise to Caesar and Cornelia, either.
The big ape fell silent, and Karin hoped he had dropped the subject. She rested her head on his shoulder, but the old orang was not quite done with her yet.
"I still visit your home at night?"
Karin raised her head and blinked at him in surprise. Was he telling her he would visit? Or was he asking her permission?
"If you promise not to go swinging through the trees after dark and that you'll stay indoors with me when I ask you to, I suppose so," she tried to make it sound like it was a big concession she was making for his sake. But inside, she felt some long and deeply engrained barrier weakening, some strange warmth blooming inside her. Would the big ape really make the trip, go to all that extra trouble, just to be with her at night? There had not been many humans who would do half as much for her before the human world went to hell, let alone after.
"I will try. Thank you," Maurice rumbled. His body relaxed and only then did she realize how tense he had been.
"Good night, Maurice," Karin murmured. She briefly pressed her forehead to his, and he pressed his cheek against her cheek for even longer. Then with a deep sigh, Karin laid her head against his shoulder and settled down to rest.