Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama! (Uncut Version)

by IAMMaster

A guilty pleasure designed to emotionally scar people who love Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. (This includes myself) The Master Has Spoken. Chapture 6: 100% IAM BACK!

3. Chapture 3: The Great Drugbased Land!

Disclaimers:

This is a parody of Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door. All characters and various other royalties of Paper Mario are all reserved to Nintendo and Intelligent System as this is for parody use only.

This is an entirely separate universe from the original Paper Mario universe, so expect many inconsistencies made on purpose for comedic effect.

This story contains offensive content such as racist jokes, sexual content, sexism, drug use, a fuckload of violence, and a lot of other offensive shit that we can make jokes about. If you don't like offensive humor then I recommend not reading this but if you still decide to then please leave a comment about how offended you are, I'll get a kick out of it.

If you loved this game as a child and wish to preserve it as pure and full of childhood wonder in your mind then we recommend not reading this because it will fuck you up.

This parody is rated N, for, "Nigga, getcho ass outta here if you a little, punk-ass kid or a butthurt, easily offended muthafucka, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit."

"Getting offended by a joke makes you part of it."

~ George Washington

"If a joke makes you choke then with good timing it was spoke!"

~ Abraham Lincoln

"If nigger is your trigger, try not to be so bitter. If kike is your hype, go back to the trike. If chink makes you sink, you need a drink. If faggot makes you nag it, then this room you shouldn't inhabit."

~ Some homeless guy who I'm pretty sure was high as fuck when saying this

Enjoy.

Super Mario and the

Thousand Year Drama!

(Uncut Version)

Chapture 3: The Great Surreal Land of Drug Based Character and Scenery Designs!

Battle Music: Dragonball z American soundtrack - the saga continues by Bruce Faulconer

Last time! On Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama! Mario and Goombella entered a peaceful meadow where they oddly enough, spotted a HUGE ASS DRAGON which according to the map, contained the star they were searching for! As they were finding a way to reach a mythical short cut, they made their way into a struggling village troubled by the demise from that very same dragon. Afterwards, the heroes faced various tedious fights and obstacles with every stone fortress they entered. As they eventually found the key objects used to reach the dragon's castle. They later met up with 1 of a young villagers anxiously wanting to join them on their journey. Soon enough, they reached the top of the castle where they epically challenge the wretched dragon Hooktail to a fight to the deth. After the fight, The villager, Koops' was avenged and escaped that very dragon's stomach soon handing them their first installment of dedly stars with 6 more to go. Find out what new adventures await our heroes this issue of Super Mario! and the a Thousand! Year! Drama!

Chapture 3 - 1: The Real Plot Really Begins!

[Captain's log. Stardate: May 19th, 2004. It is 12:26 AM, unknown weather.]

[?]

This scene does not have Mario or any of his strange friends in it. Instead, this scene will tell you where Peach has been since she's been missing. Finally!

She appears to be captured in the arms from those X-Naut henchmen guys seen with Robotnik earlier in the series. They dragged Peach into what looks like the main throne room of their leader. The evil base appears to be this futuristic looking base almost like something from Star Wars or any other series ripping off Star Wars. It was all GREY! and METAL! and FUTURISTIC! I bet if you played the original game these details would mean nothing to you.

Peach: OW! Hey! Let go of me! Only Bowser's army can grab me by my arms and ass cheeks like that!

X Naut #21 (Age 29): Dude! Like, I just totally grabbed Princess Peach's ass! This is the best day of my life!

X Naut #24 (Age 44): Wow, you know what you should do next time? You should stick your finger up her butt. I hear Princesses like that!

X Naut #21: Yeah! Yeah! Like, next time dude!

Peach: I'm gonna kill you all!

The 2 henchmen finished walking to the main room anticipating their leader.

Robotnik appeared standing on the side smelling his fingers after just brutally fingering his asshole.

Robotnik: Hey sup bitches! Robotnik's here!

X Naut #24: Oh hey Robotnik. Whats up?

Robotnik: Not much! I was just seeing how many fingers I can glue rasers on while I fit them all into my own asshole at 1ce before making it bleed! Heh!

X Naut #21: Thats great... Now where's the leader?

Robotnik: Oh hey! Wait... You mean I'm not the leader? Oh yeah! Right! Hehe! I forgot!

Robotnik: Yeah. Hes right over there!

Robotnik points towards the leader during a dramatic transition of the camera facing the back of the leader's head while he is sitting on a machine placing on his evil helmet slowly to cover up his hideous disfigured face. Yes. You know which Star Wars scene I'm ripping off right?

The evil fat leader overlord cyborg giant white santa bearded looking character rose up on his throne to addressed his henchmen.

Also, behind his throne chair, he has a giant beautiful painting of Adolf Hitler in the background. Thats how evil he is. Also, there were painting on the side of John Wayne Gacy, GG Allin, El Duce, Charles Manson, Jerry Lee Lewis, Michael Vick, Jeffrey Dahmer, Henry Ford, Ted Nugent, Count Chocula, ect. You get the idea.

Sir Grodus (Age 115): Ich hasse die Juden. Wir reinigen und vernichten sie vom Angesicht der Erde zum Wohle der arischen Rasse. Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!

Robotnik: Oh whoops. Let me switch it off the Germen setting.

Robotnik changes the dial by his ass to English.

Robotnik: There we go!

Sir Grodus: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, wel, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well... Why if it isn't my new pet BITCH... Have you decided to tell us what you did with the map?

Peach: Uhh... Yeah! This old plumber I fuck with has the map! His name is Mar-

Sir Grodus: SILENCE! You will speak when spoken to!

Peach: You just asked! And I was just telling yo-

Sir Grodus: SILENCE! Now, don't lie to us. We have info that you were the 1 who purchased the map. Do not try and cover up your track. We Nazis… I mean, we X-Nauts are a force to be reckoned with. We will actually do things scarring you eternally if you choose a path of dishonesty towards us. After all, we are not all rainbows and lollipops I assure!

Robotnik: YEAH! We'll shove those rainbows and lollipops up your ass and pussy! And by rainbows and lollipops, I mean ME painting my di-

Sir Grodus: Enough Robotnik! Your job is not to interrupt your leader so.

The skype ringtone started to blast obnoxiously.

Sir Grodus: Can SOME1 ANSWER THAT!?

X Naut #24 Answered it cause Grodus was too lazy and mighty to press a green call button.

X Naut #8 (Age 31): Sir! The dedly star we believed that was located in the castle of Hooktail... We have reason to believe that some1 terminated the dragon guarding it and he now foresees possession of the star.

Sir Grodus: What!? WHO IS THIS!? SPEAK NOW SOLDIER!

X Naut #8: Well, it seems as if a team of strange warriors must have done it. They appear to be known as... Team M.

Grodus: Team... M?

X Naut #8: Yes. Team M. I believe stands for... "Mother-Fuckers"... Or something like that. The leaders appears to be a gross fat greasy Italian, Mexican, or Jewish looking man wearing a red hat and blue overalls.

Peach: Yeah! Thats Mario!

Grodus: Hmm... His name is Mario you say?

Peach: Yeah! Thats what I've been trying to tell you retards!

Robotnik: OH I KNOW THAT ASSHOLE! HE MADE ME SHIT MYSELF ALMOST 2 DAYS AGO! But THATS IMPOSSIBLE! I THOUGHT WE RAPED HIM SO HARD THAT HE DISINTEGRATED TO 1,000,000 FUCKING PIECES hah hah YEAH!

Grodus proceeded in a socially awkwards evil villain lol fest.

Grodus: Gaack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack!

X Naut #8: Uhh... Should I hang up now?

Robotnik: YEAH! NOBODY LIKES YOU #8! Go suck an ice pick and kill yourself faggot!

The call ended

X Naut #24: Err... Whats so funny sir?

Grodus: Oh nothing. Just something funny I remember on TV.

Grodus: Alright men. Take the filthy Princess away and make her take a shower!

X Naut #21 & #24: Yes Sir!

The 2 henchmen grabbed Peach and escorted her back to her room.

Robotnik: Wait! Can I still rape her!?

Grodus: Settle down Robotnik. Not just yet... Theres still a few more things I want from her first. Then shes all yours.

Robotnik: Oh sweet! I always wanted to fuck Princess Peach! I thought I was gonna have to go to Comic-Con and rape some worthless Peach cosplayer!

Grodus: Silence pesant. Anyway, if this Team M is collecting these Dedly Stars, then they might be heading to Boggly Woods next. So we will attack there!

Robotnik: Ooo... Sounds like a great place to play in a strip Boggle Tournament! Wait... Uhh... How do you know where these stars are located without the map exactly? Also, shouldn't we grab some other stars instead of waiting for Mario to grab them? I hear this floating dojo has 1 we could look for.

Grodus: I'M AN EVIL MAD GENIUS! I KNOW HOW THIS STUFF WORKS OKAY?!

Robotnik: Well... Whatever... I'm gonna go to my beauty sleep before we do that. Maybe I'll try that hand raser thing I was talking about with my asshole! I should probably get me some band-aids too! And some Morton Salt to treat my wounds sexually! LATER BIATCH!

Robotnik uses a smoke bomb for an unnecessary dramatic escape where he simply stood there until the smoke wore off and then left.

Grodus: Hmm... I'm not sure if sending Robotnik there alone with his army is the best of ideas... He's the kind of moron that needs special supervision and guidance.

Grodus paged for X Naut #66

The X Nauts made it in Grodus' room in a few minutes.

X Naut #666 (Age 36): What the hell... I was trying to sleep...

Grodus: Shut up you whiny pip squeak or I'll have you executed! BRING ME THE SHADOW SIRENS!

X Naut #666: But... I'm tired... and embarrassed to talk to them.

Grodus: Look at my mechanical face. Do I look like I care? Get them, or DIE!

X Naut #666: But I don't know where they are. They teleport everywhere!

Grodus: Use your fucking satanic sorcery to communicate with them stupid.

X Naut #666: Oh right... hehe. I forgot I can do that. M'kay then.

The henchman took some red chalk and drew a generic circular satanic pentagram where he lit candles and soaked his nipples in apple juice while huffing a can of computer duster.

The 3 Shadow Sirens appeared from the ground right as the Henchman passed out from the computer duster with a fuck ton of blood exiting his nasal cavities.

The Shadow Sirens are this family of 3 purple shadow beings who appear to have a stem that attaches them to the ground rather than a pair of legs. They all wear different colors of 90's looking striped Cat and the Hat looking witch hats along with their hair coincidentally matching their hats. They had this weird resemblance of the Ramones and the front cover of Wicked in a weird way if you think about it. Also, their hair covers their eyes so you get the idea.

The oldest 1 in the middle named Beldam (Age 1050 might as well be 60) was not only the oldest, but was short as hell too. She has light blue hair with the blue striped hat with a jewish looking witch nose. Apparently, she has this hard ass drug addiction where she can only maintain a strange creepy smiley grin due to her face being somewhat paralyzed by the drugs. She is their leader essentially.

The middle 1 in the left of Beldam named Marilyn (Age 1030 might as well be 40) is not old looking, but is big and fat as fuuuuuuuck... She has a blonde bowl cut with rosey cheeks and a yellow striped hat. Also, she has a word bank vocabulary of like, 1! No joke. She has some severe fucking down syndrome like you wouldn't believe. I wonder what made that happen? Its funny cause the original game tries so hard to cover it up by saying she's just "quiet," but it's so obvious what kind of character they were trying to make her like. Also she's a bit of a mouth breather.

The youngest 1 in the far right of Beldam named (get ready to cum yourselves Paper Mario Fans.) Vivian! (Age 1000 might as well be 20) is the only 1 of these 3 who actually looks quite normal out of all of them. She had this weird shape of pink hair that starts out straight and turns spirally around the ends. She wears a red striped witch hat too. She's very musical and is also the more good natured 1 of the siblings and probably doesn't even know that they're on an evil mission. She's basically treated like the Koops of the group. Or worse. I wonder of some of her character development spawned from Vivi and Final Fantasy. I mean, fire powers, shadows, RPG characters, which hats, THE NAMES!

Okay, collectively that was by far my longest description ever.

Beldam: Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Did that Princess I gave the map to by dressing like a creepy marchant tell you where she hid the map.

Grodus: Still your tongue, Beldam. We could have had that map by now If you didn't shoot up on some heroin in a dark alley when you were supposed to be capturing the princess after she opened the box! Now this foolish "Team M" has the map and are using it to find the 7 Dedly Stars. Now they have 1 of them, and all I can think about is decapitating a small cat!

Vivian introvertedly became a little troubled about the idea about snatching princesses and murdering cats.

Marilyn started chowing down on a jar of Mayonnaise.

Beldam: Hmm... Team M you s-s-s-s-s-s-s-say?

Grodus: Yes! And now that they have the 1st star, now they're going to go after the next 1 in the Boggly forest!

Beldam: I think you mean the Boggly Woods.

Grodus: Shut up! Do not correct me!

Beldam: Wait? If you're already certain of where they're heading towards, do we even need the map anymore? I b-b-b-b-b-believe we can just take the Star of Envy, and steel this Team M's Star of Wrath assuming they're finding these in the order I remember them in.

Grodus: Well now that you mention it, finding the star in the tree isn't a bad idea! We're still going to need the map to make our lives easier and so no 1 else gets to it. But still. Invading the Great Tree is genius! In the mean time, you Shadow Sister things leave at once! Find Team M and do away with them! I am not a patient man!

Vivian: Uhh... Sis... You didn't mention anything about invading and killing people... I'm not sure if I like this whole plan. It just seems a little…

Beldam slapped Vivian across the face.

Beldam: Shut up Vivian! 1000 Pardons Grodus. She's the slow retarded 1 of us. You'll have to excuse her shlowness…

Marilyn decided to swallow the entire jar of mayonnaise whole as if it was edible.

Vivian began to rub the part of her face that got slapped.

Vivian: Aww man... I guess your right...

Beldam: Alright my lumpies! We got a j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-ob to do!

Beldam teleports through the ground.

Marilyn: GUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!

Marilyn does the same. Yeah. Thats her 1 word vocabulary right there.

Vivian tries to laugh off the anxiety Beldam triggered in her, and teleports with her sisters.

Grodus: Dip shits...

Chapture 3 - 2: Teach me Horny

[Peach's Cell]

Meanwhile, Peach was sent to her luxurious holding cell with her own private bathroom, shower, queen sized memory foam mattress, a 72 inch screen TV, every console ever made, an arsonal of viberators, weed, acid, shrooms, pcp, opium, molly, ecstasy, you get the idea, shes got more things than she should in her cell. It was like a prison in Norway.

The scene cuts to the X-Naut henchmen trying to force Peach to awkwardly take a shower in front of them.

X Naut #21: Come on! Just take the damn shower like the boss ordered!

Peach: Not with you 2 goons watching me!

X Naut #24: You know we have to guard you at all costs. Besides, It's a nice shower!

Peach: Yes. I agree. It is a nice shower, but I don't feel comfortable having you creeps watch me!

X Naut #21: But don't think of it that way... just consider us your audience members.

Peach: Yeah, but showering is different! You horny pervs just want to get of to my hot princess bod'.

X Naut #24: Well... That and we were clearly ordered to.

Peach: *Sigh*. fine... Just don't try anything funny.

Once Peach became fully undressed, X-Naut # 21 shot blood out of his nose like in the animes.

X Naut #24: OH COME ON 21! Great. Now we gotta get you some kleenex. Sorry Peach, we gotta go. We'll lock the doors so you don't go anywhere.

The X-Nauts left.

Peach: Good. Now I can sing comedically racist versions of Whitney Houston songs ironically in the shower!

When Peach finished her shower where she felt like a new princess, she grabbed a towel, and entered her room where she had a pouty little hissy fit over there being no tampons in her room. She then noticed the door had suddenly opened.

Peach: Wow! I think those dumbasses actually broke the door by trying to lock it.

Peach entered through the door with no problems whatsoever.

Peach: Wow! No 1s here! I wonder where they all went?

Meanwhile, all of the X Nauts were busy having a cock fighting tournament on 1 of the other floors. It's not the kind of cock fight you maybe thinking of. Its the kind where they're actually using their own penises and gluing feathers and glitter on them like an arts and crafts project and beating each other with them. Robotnik is winning by alot.

Back to the Peach story, she continued to walk down the hallway all the way to the last door in front of her where that door also opened.

[X-Naut Computer Cell]

As soon as she entered the door, a creepy robotic computer voice started to speak to her.

Tec (Age 6 Months): Hello Princess Peach.

Peach: WHOA! THE FUCK IS THAT!?

Tec: I am the 1 who unlocked the doors for you and scheduled an emergency cock fighting tornament to distract the X-Nauts so I can speak with you.

Peach: Uhh... Thanks? Who are you exactly?

Tec: I am the main supercomputer of the X-Naut base. I am TECHNOLOGICAL ERADICATION CIRCUIT-2003. You may call me TEC. I am Robotnik's soul perfect computer designed to obey Sir. Grodus' demands.

Peach: You mean that robot asshole thing that had me captured!?

Tec: You mean the marvelous majestic manbot! ...Sorry. He programmed me to say that.

Peach: Uhh... I think I'm gonna go now.

Tec: WAIT!

Tec closed the door before Peach had the chance to leave.

Tec: I'm so lonely! I don't get to bond with Sir Grodus like I used to since he started this mission and stopped looking up internet porn with me.

Peach: Well... oh fine... I'll stay. So why did you let me out of my cell?

Tec: It's hard to explain... When I started scanning you and your tramp stamp in the shower, I started to malfunction and overheat... I had to meet you. The person with the perfect tramp stamp above your rear end. I also desire to install other knowledge on you. The 1 with the most perfect tramp stamp ever. That is why I let you escape.

Peach: Eww... Wierd. So... Like my tramp stamp? Do you like the mushroom in the middle of it? Or what?

Tec: Yes. I like how it symbolizes the male specimen inserting his penis inside of you anally from a vertically abstract angle.

Peach: Why thank you! Thats what I was going for!

Tec: Yes. Excuse me and my malfunctions... This is not normally like me. You have to tell me of it.

Peach: Do I look like I know shit about computers?

Tec: YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! ITS NOT OKAY! I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO BURST!

Peach: Well... If you were a human, I would tell you that maybe you might be... horny? For me?

Tec: Horny? What is... "horny"? I cannot compute this.

Princess Peach: Wait, you don't know what horny is? Horny... How do I explain? Horny tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel horny just to see that person ejaculate, smiling... and horny. When you're horny for some1, you will do anything to hump when he or she is in horny.

Tec: Humping... ejaculating...? I can define those words, but I am certain my programming is not designed to feel such emotions... In other words, I cannot comprehend such feelings.

Peach: You don't need to comprehend it... you just feel it. Here. I'll show you.

Peach undressed the top part of her dress and bra and rubbed her small pathetic A cup sized tits all over the computer screen.

Peach: Does this make you feel horny at all?

Tec began to moan alot especially for a fucking computer.

Peach got off and dressed back up.

Peach: So... How was that?

Tec: Will you teach me more about... horny?

Peach: What? All that I just did wasn't good enough? And why do you even care. Its not like you, a computer can have an orgasm.

Tec: That maybe true, but if I do, I can grant you any wish you would like. Any wish except for an escape from this base. For after 1 orgasm, I will need an unspeakable quantity of them afterwards.

Peach: WHAT!? So I'm staying kidnapped here for your's and the X-fag's personal gain!? Who the fuck do you think you are you creepy computer thing!

Peach spat on the TEC's screen.

Tec simulated a digital tear coming off the side of the screen.

Tec: If I can feel emotion, I would feel that you are angry. In my return, I will let you have 1 wish.

Peach: 1 wish huh? Well... Alright. Can I send a friend of mine an email?

Tec: Affirmative. I am a super computer. Of course I can use "email." It is no trouble. Just use my keyboard and open up internet explorer.

Peach: Yeah yeah... I know how to use a fucking computer. Its 2004 afterall. Now if I send this message to his facebook, he should get a quick notification of it on his smartphone.

Peach soon typed the email that will be sent by chapture 3 - 4 apparently. Some supercomputer huh?

Peach: K. Its sent. Say what's with all those red underlined zig zags under almost every word I type anyway?

Tec: That's called spell check. Do you not use it?

Peach: Thats stupid. Thats just sounds like the internets trying to insult me for having "bad spelling." Sheesh!

Tec: I can assure you that it has a valid purpose.

Peach: Yeah whatever. You're a pain in the ass anyway.

Tec: ... You may return to your room. I wish to spy on you as you sleep. Maybe that way, I will learn... horny.

Peach: Uhh... Alright!

Tec: I will call you if necessary.

Peach: Uhh… Like a prostitute? Uhh... sure. Good night then.

Peach awkwardly left the room to proceed onward to her room.

Tec: Good night, Princess Peach...

Chapture 3 - 3: It's Bowser Time!

[Captain's log. Stardate: May 19th, 2004. It is 4:15 AM, cloudy with a 300 Degrees F.]

Background Music: I am all of me by Crush 40

[Bowser's Castle]

Here lies even more familiar antagonists from EVERY FUCKING MARIO GAME! You know which 1 I mean, he's in the FUCKING SUB CHAPTURE TITLE! He currently lives in his new evil castle of dark clouds and lava.

2 Koopatrols in metal knight armor stood by the door they were guarding.

Koopatrol #58 (Age 28): Man, after 3 years, we finally built this new castle just the way lord Bowser likes it. After the ummtinth time, it just get really annoying you hear?

Koopatrol #49 (Age 33): Yeah. Somehow they just keep getting wrecked by Mario, or demolished after being turned into a Mario Kart course. Yep. I feel like this 1 will last for awhile.

Koopatrol #58: Yeah. Do you think it's really a good idea to be building these castles above a pool of lava? I feel like thats partially how these castles get destroyed so easily.

Koopatrol #49: Plus it like, 1,000,000 degrees here all the time! Its sucks! I wish there wouldn't be lava all over the place just this once. Its so fucking edgy you hear?

Loud stomping occurred from the background.

Koopatrol #58: Shut up! I think thats...

Koopatrol # 49: OH NO!

Bowser rudely opened the door slamming the 2 henchmen flying off at random corners of the room.

Bowser (Age 48): MWAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!

Bowser: IT IS BOWSER! THE MIGHTY KOOPA KING OR TERROR AND DETH! and blood.

All of his henchmen started applauding him like blind raptile worshipping retards!

Koopatrol #62: Why do we worship him again?

Koopatrol #23: He said he saw satan in a vision back in the 80s. Yeah he told him to be king so we just follow him. Just like the Romans and god. But satan's cooler so yeah...

Bowser: Excellent work on the castle men! And above a pool of evil lava! Genious! Now watch as I go take my first dump in here! I'm sure you all will be pleased!

Bowser began to walk down the hallway where he heard 2 Hammer Bros talking shit about him.

Hammerbro #13: So yeah, the other day I saw Bowser masterbating for a long time at a rare photo of Princess Peach spreading her vadgelly pretending to be Courtney Love or some shit. I also saw him shoving oil up his ass for her. Then a banana afterwards.

Hammerbro #43: Hah! What a dumbass! Shit. I hear and feel some1 breathing hot anchovy smelling odor on me... Its... Bowser isn't it...

Bowser: Wow! I'm dying to hear the end of your story of what you just saw!

Hammerbro #43: Oh no! I was just saying-

Bowser: FUCK YOU! YOU 2 HAVE BREATHED IN AIR FOR THE LAST TIME! PREPARE TO BREATH IN FIRE!

Bowser used flamethrower to the 2 hammer bro's deth. They did that thing in loony tunes where they disintegrated into a pile of ash.

Bowser: HAHAHA! THAT WAS SO HARD CORE! Now! Onto the toilet!

Bowser noticed that the castle ended there. Basically, his minions designed castle with only 1 hallway like room. The rest is brick space!

Bowser: ... Why... Why does the castle end here? I THOUGHT YOU ASS CLOWNS PUT WAY MORE EFFORT INTO THIS!

Koopatrol #62: But you were the 1 who designed the blueprints in the first place! See?

Bowser began to look at the blueprints that the Koopatrol gave him.

Bowser:... but... but... AWWW MAN! I FORGOT TO ADD OTHER FUCKING ROOMS! I'M NEVER ATTEMPTING ARCHITECTURE ON SALVIA AGAIN!

Bowser: Still! YOU BOZOS SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TAKE MY INSTRUCTIONS ON BUILDING A CASTLE! IT YOUR FAULTS!

Koopatrol #23: But sire!

Bowser: NO! I DO NOT WANNA HEAR THE END OF THIS! IM GONNA SHIT RIGHT HERE! ON THE FLOOR! AND YOU ARE ALL GONNA HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT!

A purple robed Majikoopa witch with pointy evil old people glasses from the mysterious prequel to this parody broke through the door right after Bowser took a shit on the floor.

Kammy Koopa: Lord Bowser!

She walked towards Bowser

Kammy Koopa (Age 304): AHH! GOOD LORD! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT TURD ON THE FLOOR! IT SMELLS HORRIDLY! BLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRGGGGGGGGG!

Kammy puked all over Bowser's turd.

Bowser: I was TRYING to punish my minions for building a crAPPY CASTLE WITH 1 ROOM IN IT! Since they made a crappy looking castle, I thought I would make it smell crappy. IRONICALLY!

Kammy Koopa: Please your Edgyness! Listen to me! I am unhappy to inform you that our enemy Mario is on another adventure without us being the bad guys! He's off to a town known as Ghettoport.

Bowser: Ehh... Please... Like I care... He can kill himself for all I care. He's probably there to overdose on crack cause his video game sales are going downhill.

Kammy Koopa: But you see, Princess Peach has been captured by some1 besides you!

Bowser: WHAT!? Some1 stole my absolute favorite thing to do in the world without me!? HOW DARE THEY! RAWR! I AM SO MAD I CAN PISS ON YOU!

Bowser randomly started to piss on Kammy Koopa impulsively!

Kammy Koopa: HEY! LEARN SOME MANNERS YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Kammy Koopa smacked Bowser;s nose with her wand.

Bowser: AAHHH! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!?

Kammy Koopa: I have no idea! All I know is that this adventure seems to involve those 7 dedly stars that unlock treasure.

Bowser: Hmm... Maybe I can use those thingamajigs to rule to world like last time with the star rod! Assuming the people reading this have played Paper Mario 64 and know what the hell we're talking about.

Kammy Koopa: Hey Bowser, do you like fried eggs?

Bowser: …

Bowser stared at Kammy with a sarcastic expression.

Bowser: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?

Kammy Koopa had no idea how senile she was really behaving.

Kammy Koopa: Welp, while I was stalking Mario, I saw him head to this place called a Petal Meadows. I was thinking about taking you and your henchmen out for a picnic and I prepared eggs and haggis!

Bowser: AIRHEADS! I WANT AIRHEADS!

Bowser began to roll around on the floor like a pissed off toddler and he started crying because he wanted airheads THAT badly.

Kammy Koopa: Okay. We can do that... Just watch your blood pressure.

Bowser got back up.

Bowser: Good... I fucking LOVE Airheads! Anyway, enough of these senile tangents. WE GOTTA GO TO GHETTOPORT SO WE CAN RESCUE PEACH! ONLY TO KIDNAP HER AGAIN!

Bowser pulled out a capsule from the corner of his shell, and threw it on the ground turning it into his clown copter. Bowser hopped on it making his head grow a little bit by a 3rd somehow.

Bowser: LATER BUTT FAIRIES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Bowser broke a hole through his wall and flew away on the clown copter.

Kammy Koopa: WAIT FOR ME ASSHOLE!

Right when Kammy Koopa and Bowser flew off, the entire castle exploded with a bunch of his henchmen still in it.

Bowser: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAH!

Kammy Koopa: HOLY SHIT BOWSER! Your castle just exploded!

Bowser: I know! I had C4 Lodged in my turd just waiting to go off!

Kammy Koopa: WHAT! But you'r castle was brand new!

Bowser: I KNOW! They did a sucky job making it! BESIDES! MORE AIRHEADS FOR ME!

Kammy Koopa: You are by far the dumbest ruler since Nero!

Chapture 3 - 4: Back 2 Da Ghetto!

Oh yeah. I do character intros around here now.

Mario (Age 43): A dangerously retarded former Italian plumber with a sex crazed vulgar personality. He is the dumbass leader of the dumbass team of 3 known as the M Team. He tends to get very over confident but somehow always finds a way to get shit done. Although he has to be dragged out of some unnecessary fights at times. Sometimes he puts his partners in near deth situations over easily avoidable factors. He seriously does not give 2 fucks about what you or anyone else thinks.

Goombella (Age 21): An aspiring junior in a liberal arts college. She reads alot and carries alot of book smarts about places and people. She oftens tries really hard to be formal to outsiders that are not young or female. She can be a real bitch to her teammates though. She also tends to get a little defensive over her own insecurities.

Koops (Age 18): A socially awkward Koopa who lives his life in a small village. He often times tries really hard to be nice to everyone around him even when they act shitty to him. Which is constantly. He's sadly the punching bag of the group. I don't know how he puts up with it.

[Captain's log. Stardate: May 19th, 2004. 10:15 AM, Sunny and 64 Degrees F.]

[Petalburg]

A long day has past after the team of 3 vanquished the treacherous Hooktail. After rescuing Kooply and the Star of Wrath, the villagers celebrated by attempting to have a boring G rated party. Although Mario was tripping on the shrooms the whole time from the Hooktail fight earlier. He somehow had a fun time despite the fact that he was constantly getting restrained due to his crazy hallucinations making him run around naked, tweak out, roll around yelling in gibberish backwards satanic seeming tangents, and punch people. Goombella spent a good portion of the party randomly barging into Koopie Koo's room so she can mock and poke her broken nose for the sake of being a bitch. Koopie Koo wasn't able to leave her room until her nose was healed up. Koops and his dad Kooply went fishing where Kooply kept going on tangents about his crazy fucked up sex life. This made Koops feel rather uncomfortable the entire time, but was happy to spend time with his father. Koops also got a hook caught through his cheek like Steve O from Jackass. But he's alright. Kind of.

Kooply, and Mayor Kroop gave their salutations off to Mario, Goombella, and Koops.

Mario: Wow! That was an amazing party!

Koops: Uhh...

Goombella: Yeah Mario, you seemed to have had a little too much fun with the shrooms.

Mario: Hey! Its not my fault you turned into a fucking unicorn. So I had to ride you to Neverland so I could prevent the Cavity Creeps from 911ing the Titanic!

Goombella: Yeah... Don't remind me. You almost broke my fucking back you know.

Mayor Kroop: You have some crazy stories sonnie boy. Well, 1ce again, thanks to you 3, we no longer need to live in fear from that too timing Hooktail I'll tell you what. Now I don't have to contemplate suicide as much for now we can finally have an improving economy. Heh. So you folks are off to more adventures for those stars ehh?

Mario: You bet your skaly old green ass we are!

Kooply: Hehe! Well it's good to see you all off on more adventures bringing my son with and all.

Koops: But daddy... dad! I... I wanna stay here with you! It's been 10 years and I feel like I missed out on alot of time with you!

Kooply: Oh son, you'll be able to make it back 1ce you and your pals finish your adventure. I believe in you Koops.

Koops: But dad! I wanna stay with you!

Koopie Koo started yelling out her window with a whiny nasally voice from her broken nose.

Koopie Koo: YAA KOOPS! YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE!

Goombella: So help me god bitch! Do you want me to smash your nose again!?

Koopie Koo: Fuck you bitch! OWW! ITS HURTS TO TALK WITH MY BROKEN ASS NOSE! OWWW!

Kooply: Koops. Listen to me, fuck what people have to say. I want you to live. I want you to go on a fucked up adventure where you fuck alot of bitches. In the long run, I think you'll be better off with a story to tell about what you're about to see than simply sticking around here. You have plenty of time to do that. What do you say?

Koops: Well... I'm not sure. I think-

Kooply: Ah just get the fuck out of here!

Koops: Aww gee wizz. Alright.

Kooply: Just always remember this: You are my son, Koops... and I am your father!

Koops: Well yeah. Gee… No shit... Come on. What kind of quote is that dad!? Try giving me some useful advice next time...sheesh.

Mario: Hey Goombella?

Goombella: Yeah?

Mario: Do I smell like I pissed myself?

Goombella: Yes Mario. Yes you did.

Mario: Thats not what I asked.

Koopie Koo continued to yell from a far.

Koopie Koo: I'll be waiting here for you sweetie! I love youOWWWW!

Koops: YAY. I still have a gf guys!

Goombella: Yeah. She's a fucking bitch too!

Mayor Kroop: Well, before you all take off, I want to happily inform you that you all are always welcome in our…

The Mayor looked around the town seeing that the village was still pretty destroyed from Hooktail.

Mayor Kroop: ...sigh... village.

Mario: Ha! That shit got wrecked. Yeah. Fuck that shit. You'll probably never see us again.

Koops: Hehe. So it looks like im still gonna be in the M Team After all guys!

Goombella: Well yeah! I thought we established this in the Initiation mode of chapture 2 - 4

Mario: Yeah. We some how adjusted to your retard ass! Come on!

Koops: Oh right. Whoops. So wait... Where are we off to then?

Goombella: We're going back to Ghettoport. We gotta re visit that shrine from earlier.

Mario: Wait. That doesn't make sense. Why?

Goombella: Mario, don't you remember how we got here in the first place? For each star we find, we gotta go back to the shrine of the 1000 year door. Then it will uncover the next destination of the next fucking star! Pay attention stupid!

Mario: Wow. Period much!?

Goombella: Yeah sorry. I'm... not very good with mornings.

Mario: Hey! I'm the 1 with a hangover after taking a shit ton of shrooms. How do you think I feel?

Koops: Come on guys! Lets go already!

Mario and Goombella: Shut up Koops!

Goombella: Although he is right. We should get going.

Mario: Yeah... Well... SO LONG FUCK-JEWS!

The M team suddenly took off onto the next adventure already. About fucking time. What page are we on again?

Mayor Kroop: Say... You think they'll be alright?

Kooply: Ahh they'll be fine. They may just indeed be the strangest and stupidest heroes. I have ever seen, but my god they're hilarious…

Mayor Kroop: You wanna hear about breast cancer for 5 hours?

Kooply: No.

[Petal Meadows]

The 2 of them walked down the Petal Meadows for 1 more tiyime!

Koops: Hey Mario?

Mario: Yeah.

Koops: Remember the time you raped Hooktail?

Mario: Well yeah. That was fucking yesterday. Yeah, I murder-fucked the shit out of that dragon did I?

Goombella: *sigh* I still can't believe you did that... Oh who am I kidding. Of course you would. Your fucking disgusting.

Mario's smartphone made a notification sound along with vibrating for a long extensive period of time like a mother fucker.

Koops: Holy fuck! You're leg is shaking! Is it having a seizure or something!?

Goombella: Thats his cell phone Koops. You really didn't know that!?

Koops: Oh yeah... uhh... I WAS KIDDING! hehe.

Goombella: Sure Koops. Wait, Mario, when did you find another phone. I thought it got smashed by Professor Frankly!

Mario: What? This is my real phone. That 1 I was using was Wario's phone. It has a better audio system.

Goombella: You really do steal alot don't you.

Mario: That's how I've been collecting coins from all those enemies. After I fucking kill them!

Mario pulled out his phone and noticed he got 1 new message on Facebook.

Mario: Oh hey. I got 1 new message on Facebook.

Mario: Goombella? Can you read it?

Goombella: Sure. I will never understand why you have your facebook settings on English when you can't read it. I'm not trying to discriminate against you for being Italian but still...

Mario: Nah. I just can't read period.

Goombella starred sarcastically at Mario as he handed her the phone.

Goombella:... Let me just fucking read this.

Goombella: Oh hey. Its from Princess Peach! She's been a very influential icon throughout my childhood! Holy fuck! I'm totally excited to read a letter written by her!

"Sup Mario. Its Peach. I dont ujolly youz facebook 4 I hav todes du that 4 mii. So ya liek, ges hoo liek, got kidnapet agen? MII! Teehee. jk. But srsly, theez robat giez got mii. No Bowzer dis tiem. But srsly. Idk wherdafuk am I. Der liek, aftr dat map eye sent U. They allso sed sum shit about dedly stars 2. Der trying 2 kill u cuz they liek, niid ti and shit. Liek, lame am I rite? But srsly. Sav mii. Dis shit is dumm. Liek. Srsly. I don't hav enuff tamponz 2 last mii. LIEK SRSLY! I NIID THEM 4 MAI MENSTROL VAKASHIN I CANT STAND TI! But srsly, K baiiiiiii.

- Peach"

Goombella: My god! Her grammar is TOTALLY the most absolutely atrocious shit I've ever seen! She somehow ignored using spell check! It almost makes me want to BLEEEEERRRRRRRRGGGGG!

Goombella puked all over Mario's phone.

Mario: AH MY PHONE! YOU BITCH!

Goombella: Well its not my fault your princess has such bad spelling!

Koops: Oh snap! Does anyone got some rice to put in it!?

Mario: Its okay, Puke doesn't destroy your phone. Trust me.

The 3 of them reached the brown shit stained warp pipe from whence they came. Still gross as hell though.

Mario: Yay! We made it! Well guys! Get ready for a long 15 hour warp ride!

Koops: Wait... is this really that long of a warp pipe? But my DSi doesn't have enough juice to last me that long.

Mario: After you!

Mario impulsively pushed Koops down the wipe

Koops: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I HAVE TO PPEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Goombella: Yeah. Get used to this shit!

Goombella and Mario hopped down the warp pipe onwards on their 15 hour ride to Ghettoport.

- To Be Continued...

- Right about Now!

[Captain's log. Stardate: May 20th, 2004. It is 3:56 AM, cloudy with a 48 Degrees F.]

[Ghettoport Sewers]

The 3 strange misfits made it back to Ghettoport. They started to feel 16% more depressed entering back to the shit hole of the region.

Koops: Oh my god guys! This the first time I've ever been outside of the Petal Meadows. This is awesome!

Goombella: We're just in the sewer dude... I can tell you're sheltered but damn!

Koops: Well my mom and my girlfriend told me that other towns contain a toxic gas that gives Koopas this dedly disease called canceraidabetes.

Mario: Yeah... They made that shit up. Although they might be right about this town.

Koops: I guess. Its not like i'm dying right!?

Mario: Just stop being stupid and follow us to the damn door.

They walked through identical obstacles like the 1s shown and not shown in the first chapture and soon made it back to the hall of the 1000 Year door.

Koops: Wow! So this is the 1000 Year door huh?

Goombella: Yes Koops. That's why we're here If you'd put down the DSi already.

Koops: I'm playing Nintendogs!

Koops' DSi just died

Koops: NOOOO! I FORGOT TO SAVE! Why is Nintendo so flowed!?

Mario: I don't think you're allowed to say that.

Mario: ... Goombella? You have that star right?

Goombella: Yeah. Let me look for it.

Mario: How? That thing is almost as big as you are!

Koops: So I realized something... You guys have been risking your lives for some treasure behind the door? Thats pretty insane just for that you know.

Mario: Its alot more complicated than you think.

Goombella: I'm a dedicated ass college student. OH FOUND IT!

Goombella pulled out the Wrath Star from the void of nothingness that this parody nor original game can show for the sake of comedically obvious plot holes. So many games do this.

Mario: Sweet. Bout time. Alright. So how do I do this? Do I raise the star this time? Do I raise the Map? Both? What? I don't know.

Goombella: I think you place the star on 1 of the circles that connects the outer circumference of the shrine, then you raise the map in the center.

Koops: Why is the door so big? Are they trying to make a door for elephants or something?

Mario: I... don't understand what you just said just there.

Koops: Who me?

Mario: Both of you.

Goombella: What's new.

Goombella places the Star of Wrath into it's assumingly designated location.

Goombella: K Mario. Do that thing you did earlier with the map.

Mario: Yeah yeah…

Mario held the map up in the middle of the shrine. It soon began glowing again the same way it did before. If you need to know what the ritual looks like, watch a fucking letsplay or something!

Koops: HOLY SHIT WERE GONNA DIE!

Goombella: Were fine. Relax. This is a part of the adventure.

The map began to animate a giant black tree with white leaves in the upper middle part of the map. Wait... is this supposed to be a winter level? Or is it just some artsy bull crap. Who the fuck knows. A green dedly star popped up indicating that it lies somewhere in the tree. Say, have any of you ever wondered what if the stars were actually located somewhere outside of the map? Like, what if they were somewhere else on Earth? Do you think the map would just blow up or something?

After the ritual, the map floated back into Mario's hands.

Koops: Hey! Is that another dedly star on the map?

Goombella: Well yah! duh Koops.

Koops: I'm just double checking! Jeez.

Mario: So wait? Why the fuck is there giant tree in the background?

Koops: It looks cold.

Goombella: Hmm... yeah... I got no fucking clue man. Let's talk to the professor about it.

Koops: We have a professor? You guys don't tell me these things!

Mario: And we don't need to. Now shut up before I curve stomp your ass for asking too many annoying questions all the time.

Chapture 3 - 5: Frankly, Luigi, Bar and Gus scenes. Did I give it away?

[Ghettoport]

Mario and pals were standing in front of Frankly's house just about to enter.

Koops: Gosh... I'm kind of nervous to meet him.

Goombella: He's alright. Just try to use a little more social filter than usual. At best, he'll probably ignore you.

Koops: K. Thats fine.

[Professor Frankly's]

Mario hammer smashed through his door like an impatient asshole. They then caught Professor Frankly swallowing a jar of viagra!

Frankly: GOOD GARTERBELT! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?

Goombella: Woa! Professor? What kind of pills did you just take there?

Mario: Thats viagra Goombella.

Goombella: What!? Really? Why!?

Frankly: Well, you see, sometimes Goombas at my age have these things called "erectile dysfunction." They suck worse than the devil's fiery cunt! So I have to take these pill in order to sometime only even accumulate even half wood! If I don't have even have the slightest erection, I will never be able to masterbate again. Do you see my pain!?

Goombella: Yeah... but that's an awful lot of pills though! Are you gonna like, be alright!?

Frankly: Oh this is nothing! You wish you would have known me back in the 70s. I did 10 times more drugs every hour than the love child between Elvis Presley and Willie Nelson! I'm a real deal!

Frankly: But just incase, call me back in 4 hours. I'm pretty sure even Thwomps know that.

Mario: That cool. So yeah. We almost died getting this 1st dedly star. Look.

Mario pulled out the star out of no where to show Frankly.

Frankly: Astounding! You actually did it! I was honestly expecting to receive a letter about a funeral instead!

Goombella: How cheerful... Yeah so the map did that thing again where it burned another location in the scenery. Can you tell us a bit about this place right here?

Koops: Yeah. Can you tell us where it is or not?

Goombella: Koops! Don't be rude! He's the fucking professor.

Mario: Yeah. Now, tell us where the next star is or I'll bust your fucking head open!

Goombella: What he said!

Frankly: Hmm... Very well then. Let me see it.

Frankly casually analyzed the location of where the next star is located.

Frankly: Ah yes! It appears to be located in the Boggly Woods somewhere. Specifically in the Great Tree of Might!

Goombella: The Great Tree of Might?

Koops: Why does that sound familiar?

Frankly: Oh you kids are probably just thinking about 1 of those over hyped Japanese Cartoons you grew up with when you were 8. Now from what I believe, this place has some strange black and white retro looking creatures here.

Koops: So... it looks like a winter level. Should we like, bring coats or something?

Frankly: It's not a winter level you imbecile! Now stop asking stupid questions or I'm gonna curve stomp you.

Mario: Thank you!

Koops: Aww geez...

Goombella: Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you professor. So... Princess Peach actually got captured.

Frankly: Yeah so? What in Nostradamus' Nuts is new?

Goombella: Well, you see, Mario got this... *gag* grammatically grotesque Facebook message... The guys who captured her ACTUALLY aren't Bowser for a change! From what I tried reading, they're on a hunt for the 7 dedly stars too.

Mario: You are such a grammar Nazi.

Goombella: OH SHUT UP! You can't even read!

Frankly: So let me get this straight, the people who kidnapped the Princess are also after the stars? What in Miyamoto's Mind are they trying to accomplish!? All this for some old welfare check!? Or was it old food stamps? I mean, I don't know. Its just my theory.

Mario: No fucking idea man. All I know is that in the name of pussy, I am gonna put my foot threw them twice as fast as you'r ass!

Koops: Thats a new expression.

Frankly: Yes. I do recommend you go do that assuming this does not really involve my rear end. Welp, I suppose you 2... I mean 3 are off to Boggly Woods now.

Mario, Goombella, and Koops suddenly noticed Frankly's abnormal sized erection bulging throw his garments.

Mario: Hey Frankly, I think them V pills are starting to kick in... alot...

Goombella: Yeah like, eww Frankly.

Frankly: Relax Goombella. It's nothing you've never seen or sucked before.

Mario: Pffffft HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!

Koops: I don't get it.

Goombella: Screw all of you!

Frankly began directing his attention to Koops.

Frankly: Yes. what's your name again?

Koops: I'm Koops!

Frankly: Yeah. Fuck you!

Frankly escorted them all out the door.

Goombella: Wait! You never told us how to get to Boggly Woods!

Frankly: OH FIGURE IT OUT YOU DAMN DIRTY NINCOMPOOPS!

Frankly: AND STOP DESTROYING MY DAMN DOORS!

Frankly kicked Mario, Goombella, and Koops out 20 feet away using his painfully enlarged erect cock. He might need to call 911 for that.

Mario: YOUR FUCKING DICK IS A FUCKING DICK!

[Regular Ghettoport]

Luigi: Sup Mario!? What'sa crackalackin!?

Mario: Oh hey Luigi. What's up?

Goombella: Hey! I didn't know Luigi would be here too!

Mario: Yeah. His ass came with me to this butt ugly place.

Koops: So why isn't he on this adventure with us?

Mario: I don't know. I just kind lost him a bit before that whole Robotnik shit went down.

Luigi: Well, bro, Its all good. I'm on my own adventure anyway.

Mario: Good. Cause I wasn't gonna let you join my M Team anyway. You're my brother and all, but your kind of a fuck.

Goombella: A what?

Luigi: Basically while you were gone, I did alot of crack, and started going on this adventure where I have to save Princess Ebola of the Blue Waffle Kingdom. Its pretty bad. She got captured by King Numb Nuts. I started smoking some good crack with some of the cabinet member of the Blue Waffle Kingdom.

Goombella: This all sounds REALLY made up.

Luigi: Wanna hear about it Mario?

Mario: No.

Luigi: Well alright then.

Luigi: So uhh... After you took off and didn't find me after I went flying, my butt hole area started bleeding alot from that Nibbles thing. So I did had to cook a shit ton of crack just to distract myself from the pain and bleeding. So I got this letter right? Actually, I found it while fighting a pack of rabid pit bulls naked for it. So I opened it, and if I could remember, it said "Sirs! My name is Crap! I am the presiden- no... SUPREME PRESIDENT of the far out "Blue Waffle Kingdom." Our land has been attacked by a bunch of loonatics slamming their nuts and hairy scrotums at our Kingdom. King Numb Nuts took our Princess Ebola by majically stretching his own foreskin and wrapped it around her like a lasso. I nay BEG for your ASS-istance! WE NEED YOU! SAVE OUR ASSHOLES! Sincerely, Crap." With Mario - that's you, bro not to make you feel bad... dick- gone, I decided to rope myself into some bullshit cause no 1 was paying attention to me! I then did even much much more crack, I majically wound up in the Blue Waffle Kingdom. I mean, she sounded kind of hot. I had to write a note to remind myself how to make crack before I left. Seriously, I don't know why Peach is planning on giving the crack to the black people to kill them off. This shit is fucking GREAT! So 1ce I some how made it to the Blue Waffle Kingdom, I met SUPREME PRESIDENT Crap who filled me in. I seriously have to say it in all caps or else he'll fucking kill me. As you know like, King Numb Nuts totally got really horny so he kidnapped Princess Ebola to fix his evil blue balls. Nothing like Blue Balls in a Blue Waffle am I right hehe! But no. Seriously, like, so like, there's this majical compass that broke into 7 cliche pieces by a cliche curse. So they've scattered across the Blue Waffle Kingdom. Can you believe how cliche that is bro!? It gets even more half assed and cliche than that! Each piece I find, points to the next 1! Sounds familiar huh? Since 1 of the pieces is located in Princess Ebola's boob job, I should be able to find-fuck her! Pretty Smart huh? The SUPREME PRESIDENT gave me a compass base to put the pieces in! And get this! The base worked as a compass for the first piece! It pointed me to the deep south. Not the kind of "deep south" your thinking of! No! I mean I gotta go to Rumblebutt Volcano on the Poontang Cuntinent! Then suddenly, I randomly got up after sleeping on some1s roof naked. He thretened to call the Hawiian Mafia on me cause apperantly I was "passed out" on his roof covered in crack. Which is BULLSHIT! Cause I know what I saw! You can't disprove that shit. Trust me! I totally wasn't hilusonating! And if some1 questions me, I'll fucking stab them! THIS IS 100% NOT THE FUCKING CRACK TALKING! RIGHT GUYS!?

Mario, Goombella, and Koops woke up after they fell asleep standing up part of the way through Luigi's gay ugly retarded story.

Koops: Oh sorry. Hehe. We fell asleep.

Goombella: Yeah no offense, but that was pretty dumb. All of it.

Luigi: Uhh... MARIO! What did you think of it.

Mario: Luigi, that was the worst shit I have ever heard and you should kill yourself!

Mario, Goombella, and Koops took off leaving Luigi awkwardly stranded.

Luigi: If you guys wanna hear what I've been up to! Let me know!

Mario yelled at Luigi off screen

Mario: Yeah yeah, Go fuck yourself!

The 3 of them decided to make a detour to Podley' Pub for some drinks. And by "the 3 of them," I mean who do you think!?

[Podley's Pub]

The background music playing was We Won't Be Fooled Again by the Who.

Mario and his Partners were seated at the bar 1ce again.

Goombella: So why exactly are we in a bar when we should be looking for the next star?

Mario: I think we could all use a little breather. Besides, this kind of joint is my comfort zone.

Koops: I don't know if I like it here. I've seen alot of bar fights on TV.

Mario: Well have you ever been to a real bar before?

Koops: I'm 18.

Podley: What can I do for you all?

Mario: Yeah get my ass 3 shots of Captain Morgan?

Podley: K. How bout you mam?

Goombella: Can I get 1 uh… mmm… whats a name of a beer?... OH! 1 Bud Lite please?

Mario: You sure you're gonna finish it this time? I mean, no 1s that bad at drinking!

Goombella: Yeah. I think after trying marijuana, I think I can handle it.

Random people in the background started yelling "CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG" as 1 of them started chugging Miller Lite down 1 of them beer funnels.

Mario: Alright, but if you don't finish it, I'm dumping it on your helmet.

Podley: Alright. What about you sir?

Koops: I'll have... uhhhh... I'll just have a... can I just have a glass of milk?

Podley: We... don't serve milk…

Mario and even Goombella facepalmed harder than you can imagine.

Koops: Oh hehe... I'll just have water then.

Podley: Alright... lame ass. That will be 8 coins total.

Mario payed Podley so he can begin serving other fucks in the bar.

Koops: Wow! I thought I was gonna get kicked out for not being 21.

Goombella: Nah. Podley doesn't card.

Mario: Koops. What the hell is with the water man?

Koops: Sorry. I just don't like the taste of alcohol. Is there anything wrong with that?

Mario: Here. Take this stupid shot and enjoy it.

Mario slided 1 of his shots of Captain Morgan for Koops.

Koops: Umm... I'm a little nervous. I can't even stand the smell of it.

Mario: Its just a shot of rum dude. *sniff sniff* Don't even think about drinking it. Just do it.

2 Random drunks in the background began having a rude beer farting contest.

Koops: Well gee. Alright then…

Koops quickly took the shot of Captain Morgan and BLEERRRGGGED all over a man holding a baby on his lap next to him.

Random guy: Hey! Thats my baby I'm only able to split 2% of custody with for some reason!

Koops: Oh sorry.

Random hobo (Age 51): Hi. You have a balloon?

Koops: Uhh... what? Uhh no... uhh sorry.

Random hobo: I like balloons.

Koops: Okay then...

Random hobo: I really like balloons. They're amazing.

Koops: Uhh... cool...

Random hobo: Have you seen my balloon!?

Mario started to get irritated as Koops' passive replies.

Mario: Koops, I'll handle this.

Mario: HEY RETARD! WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING BALLOONS! NOW FUCK OFF BEFORE I COMPULSIVELY SNAP AND KICK YOUR ASS!

Random hobo: I like balloons.

Mario: Oh for fuck sakes! You look like the deformed siamese twin of Santa Claus after he discarded you into an African Village by kicking you off of his slay. If you learned how to read, I bet you would read about how to wipe your ass and how to get a fucking job. Now crawl back to your fucking dumpster you fucking retard.

Goombella: Jeez Mario!

Random hobo: Hehe. Okay…

Thanks to Mario, the random hobo fucked off.

Koops: Wow! That rum really burned my throat.

Some1 in the background started drunk laughing hysterically at a holocaust joke in the background.

Goombella: Yeah. I don't know if I'm able to drink rum any time soon. I'm barely able to drink this bud light. I'm doing better than last time though!

Mario: You are all pussies…

Mario drink both of his remaining 2 shots at 1ce.

Mario: See that. Thats how to fucking drink!

Mario got so excited that he slammed Koops' face on the bar table.

Koops: Owww...

Mario: ROCK N' ROLL!

The songs changed to Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin.

Mario got on top of the bar and took off his shirt and started swinging it around like Muscle Man.

Mario: WOOOOOOOOOO!

Mario poured Goombella's beer on her helmet!

Goombella: HEY! I WAS GONNA FINISH THAT!

Mario: I'M THE GREATEST!

Podley: Hey get off of there!

Mario: Yeah whatever!

Mario got back in his seat.

Mario: Yeah. I got into the heid of the moment there.

Goombella: How has an obnoxious asshole like yourself never gotten killed yet?

Mario: Cause I'm fucking Mario.

Goombella: That doesn't make any sense! Right Koops?

Koops began looking up more Simpsons Hentai while in a bar.

Goombella: Koops! What the fuck is you with Simpson's porn!?

Mario: And why are you looking up hentai in a fucking bar!?

Koops: I think Patti and Selma are alot hotter when Im drunk... hehe. See how 1 is licking the other's butthole while the 1 getting her butt hole licked is wearing a funny looking pig tail shaped dildo?

2 guys random yelled Jinga after pushing their friend off his bar stool violently for no reason.

Goombella: Uhh... That doesn't answer my question. Actually, why am I even asking. I must be drunk.

Mario: No your not.

Koops: I just find it a little relatable how The Simpsons have yellow skin. I have yellow skin. They have big round eyes. I have big round eyes. Makes more sense huh?

Goombella: I don't even know anymore. You're just an idiot. Thats all I have to say. Anyway, we should get going.

Mario: But were having so much fun!

Koops: Yeah me 2.

Goombella: Do you guys not notice the fight over that guy yelling "Jinga" just now?

Koops: Yeah... good point.

Mario: WOOOO!

Mario got up and ran as he started smashing the 3 drunks with his hammer!

Goombella: We gotta go Mario!

Mario: Yeah alright.

[Ghettoport]

They made another trip to Toad's Bizarre Drug Shop where they purchased some drugs and shit for their next misadventure.

[Inventory: 2 Shrooms, 2 Fire Weed, 2 POW Blocks, & 2 jar of honey flavored vagelly syrup, and 2 Tasty Tonic waters.]

And now they are off to their journey. But wait!

Koops: So wait, what's the Tonic stuff for again?

Goombella: It's this drink we'll need incase we get poisoned or burned. Or even if we need to sober up so we don't hallucinate from shrooms and shit. Right Mario?

Mario: I still think it's a little silly that you made me buy that shit. I fight so much better when I'm on drugs.

Goombella: Correction. You think you do cause you have an addictive personality. We need to heal from the mushrooms yes, but at the same time, we can't afford to hallucinate during dire situations.

Mario: Yes we can!

Goombella: We were just lucky we didn't need the schrooms prior to the Hooktail battle or we would have been fucked.

Mario: You mean Murder-Fucked!

Goombella: Shut up!

Koops: So how do you know that they'll work?

Goombella: I googled it while we were having that party yesterday. I almost got malware on my phone in the process but it was worth it.

Koops: ... why?

Mario: HEY IS THAT THAT ASSHOLE FROM EARLIER!?

Gus was seen doing his usual tollway job. You know, casually smoking a pack of Newports and shit.

Gus: Oh hell no. It's you bitches again.

Mario started intensely marching over to him.

Mario: Oh... Don't think I've forgotten bout you cock sucker!

Gus: I'm sorry? Did you want me to fuck your ass up bitch?

Koops: Does Mario know this guy?

Goombella: He's this toll guard that Mario has a mindless beef with. Incase you haven't noticed, he goes totally out of his way alot to start this shit... HEY MARIO! WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF! WE GOT PLACES TO GO!

Mario: 1 second, I gotta grind up this faggot organ's to feed them to some sick cats.

Gus: Oh you ready to go bitch!? Cause we can go right now nigga!

Mario: Yeah bitch, ready to get face fisted you fucking nigger fetus!

Gus: WHATCHU CALL ME BITCH!?

Koops: Goombella I'm scared!

Mario: I SAID YOUR A FUCKING NIGGER FETUS!

Gus: Oh hell no! That it!

Gus slashed Mario's face with his spear: [3 Damage]

Mario: Ouch Suck my jode!

Mario hammer smashed Gus: [2 Damage]

Mario: You like that nigger fetus!

Goombella: C'mon Mario! This isn't even a [BATTLE MODE]. This is just fucking savage!

Koops: Yeah.

Gus stabbed Mario's arm with the spear: [3 Damage]

Koops: Can we PLEASE GO!?

Mario: No fuck that! He deserves to die like the pathetic nigger fetus he knows he is.

Goombella: MARIO! STOP SOUNDING DRUNK AND RACIST! Save your energy for the necessary fights!

Goombella started biting Mario away from Gus like last time.

Mario: THIS IS NECESSARY!1

Goombella: Koops! Help me drag him out of here.

Koops and Goombella pulled Mario away from Gus beofre the fight got obscenely more retarded. Mario was very literally kicking and screaming.

Gus: You're lucky I have a job to do or I'd KICK YOUR BITCH ASS DED!

Mario: Oh fuck you! I'll Michael Brown you harder than any cop ever could you fucking nigger fetus! NIIIGGGEEERR FEETTUUUUSSS!

Was that joke more too soon, or too dark?

Gus: Next time I see you, I'm killing you! Seriously!

Chapture 3 - 6: Tourette's Syndrome begins.

[Ghettoport Sewer]

After that horrifying experience, Mario and pals decided to go back into the sewers to attempt to look for another warp pipe they may have missed.

They continued looking around after passing the usual obstacles to get around fighting enemies non canon and what not.

Mario: Guys?... Guys...?

Koops and Goombella were ignoring Mario for obvious reasons.

Mario: Are you guys giving me the silent treatment or something?

Koops: Uhh... no.

Goombella: Yeah! We're mad you cause you were being fucking racist.

Mario: We had this conversation before. I'm not fucking racist... he was just pissing me off so I was just trying to piss him off back the best way I could think of.

Goombella: You went out of your way to unprovokingly fight him. You're telling me that's not fucking racist?

Mario: Race had nothing to do with it. Toll booth people piss me off. Especially him. They just want to take advantage of where people decide to walk for their own gain. Its bullshit.

Goombella: But we didn't even need to go through him. Even so, we could have just paiid him, we have the money this time.

Mario: Fuck him. He was a fucking dick the 1st time I tried reasoning with him.

Goombella: So what? You're not over that.

Mario: Hell no! You mean you wouldn't do the same thing in my position?

Goombella: You'r position was not too far off from mine. You're just out of control thats all. I know you're not actually racist but sometimes I wonder.

Koops: Well I'm just not talking cause you were just being kinda scary thats all.

Mario: Koops. Shut up. Guys liston. I have anger issues. Don't take that shit I say seriously. Both of you should know this by now judging by my fucking character. I know what I say and do is fucked up and I don't care. I have issues that I don't ever expect any of you to understand.

Goombella: Whatever.

Koops: Yeah I guess I can see your point Mario.

That same small grey creature with the antenna I mentioned briefly from chapture 1 - 7 popped out again from the same crack on the wall as last time.

Gray Thing (Age 14): Cocknose cocknose cocknose

Goombella: Hey! Its that grey thing again!

The tiny grey creature thing hid back in the crack.

Mario: GET THAT TURD BALL!

Mario got in a crawling position and attempted to grab it through the crack unsuccessfully for a few minutes.

Goombella: Mario, leave the poor thing alone.

Mario: Thats 1 of the black and white things Frankly was talking about!

Goombella: Its grey.

Mario: SAME THING!

Mario started to charge his body into the wall attempting to break through it.

Goombella: Mario. Thats never gonna work.

Mario: Shut up. It'll work!

Koops: Hey guys look! A door! I think it leads us to that mouse/ slug thing.

Koops took a closer look noticing these prison bars blocking the way.

Goombella: Yeah but how are we gonna fit through the bars genius?

Koops: I'm working on it!

Koops started nibbling on them like a filthy rat as he was unsuccessful as hell!

Koops: Aww man! My teeth ache now! Can I wipe my sweaty hands off on your hair?

Goombella: Eww no! What the fuck would make you suggest that!?

Koops: Gosh. I don't know... I'm just coming up with ideas.

Mario: Guys guys... I have an idea that will actually work.

Mario started pressing his moobs together making him sweat bacon grease like from the curse.

Goombella: Oh great. Were doing that thing again where we have to rub ourselves all over you to get greasy and fit through the bars?

Mario: Yes. Yes we are.

Koops: Oh yeah! I remember doing that from the non canon obstacles that we skipped over.

Mario: Very good. You finally paid attention for 1ce

Goombella and Koops were forced to rub their bodies all over Mario to equip themselves with his greasy skin so they can fit through the bars. Goombella and Koops then successfully slipped through them bars.

Goombella: Hey wait. What about you Mario?

Mario: Oh I'm not giving up on breaking this wall.

Mario charged at the wall harder than ever and actually broke through it like the dangerous retard he is.

Goombella: So we got covered in Mario's greasy sweat for nothing? Great...

Koops: Yeah. I'm starting to get acne from it too.

Koops' face was briefly covered in zits.

As they walked to the room, they started to corner the grey creature.

Grey thing: GUYS! DON'T EAT ME! FUCKS FUCKS FUCKS!

Goombella: What? No! Were not gonna eat you.

Mario: Guess again nerd.

Mario then gave a creepy demonic stare at the thing.

Goombella: MARIO SHUT UP!

Grey thing: I'll show you you bully! COCKNOSE COCKNOSE COCKNOSE

The grey thing jumped on Mario crawling all around him!

Mario: GUYS GET IT OFF ME BEFORE IT CRAWLS UP MY ASSHOLE!

The grey thing got on Mario's head

Mario: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU FUCK!

The thing pulled out a wooden bat and whacked Mario on the head knocking him out for awhile.

Grey Things: YOU 2 WANT SOME OF THIS!? HUH BITCH? BITCH? BITCH?

Koops: Whoa! Chillax dude! Were not here to eat you... I think.

Goombella: Yeah. Actually, thank you for smashing our leader unconscious. He kind of had it coming to be honest.

Grey thing: Oh for realzeez! Shit Shit shit! Thats good. I was about to piss all over the place. Oh what the hell hell hell.

It started to piss so much that it flooded the entire floor making it unavoidable to step in.

Koops: Ehhhwww...

Goombella: AHH COME ON GUY!

Mario's unconscious face and body was trenched in more piss than usual from it.

Goombella hopped on Mario so she wouldn't be stepping in piss kind of.

Goombella: So yeah. We saw you earlier so who are you?

Koops: Yeah. And what's with the way you curse? It sounds funny.

Grey thing: Oh... My fucking fucking fucking name is Punio. I am part of a race of Punies. And I can't help the swearing stuff... I have tourette syndrome. Its a serious struggle on mine so please don't' make fun of it. Penis Penis Weenis.

Koops: Why? I think it's awesome!

Just another disclaimer: This is not how tourette's syndrome actually works. If you think so, well YOUR A FUCKING RETARD!

Goombella: Koops. Settle down. So by any chance, do you know about this place called the Boggly Woods?

Punio: Boggly woods? Uhh... I don't know what that place is. ASSHOLE SHIT COCK FUCK PUSSY ASS TWAT CUCK!

Punio started shivering and sweating giving a ded giveaway that hes bullshiting.

Koops: Whoa! You're SO good at swearing! Cock cock cock!

Punio: SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPP!

Punio: Sorry about that. You guys aren't X- Nauts are you? Cuck cuck cuck.

Koops: No. Were from the M Team. That other name just sounds like some fucking brand of fucking fucky fuck tissues.

Punio: You guys really aren't X- Nauts?

Goombella: Wait! I remember this guy who tried attack me when I came here. He address his henchmen as X-Nauts! Do they smell like shit and wear these gimpy looking tights with a big "X" symbol on their chests?

Punio: Well... Yeah! Yesterday, these ugly looking cucks cucks cucks came inside our Great Tree of Might and started tearing it apart! They created these metal doors and they just mutilated our home! Its so cunt cunt cunt!

Goombella: Oh no! I guess they're causing more trouble than we thought huh?

Mario started pissing himself mixed with Punio's piss.

Koops: Did the fucking piss get damn warmer?

Goombella: So I'm assuming they're after 1 of the dedly stars huh?

Punio: Maybe! I remember them mentioning something about seeking and destroying in any means necessary for the Star of Envy? Is that what it's fuck fuck fuck called?

Punio: Say! Since you guys seem eager to find it, and being against those X- Nauts and all, you folks think you can sluts sluts sluts help me out? Maybe the Puni Elder can help you guys out with getting the star afterwards? Please! I'm begging you! They have my family captured! Who knows what they're gonna do with them! They seem really perverted too! I'm so bitching bitching biching scared! DICKS DICKS DICKS!

Goombella: Of course we'll help you! Even if this was a side quest we would still help out.

Koops: Yeah. Your fucking awesome as fuck!

Goombella: Yeah. Despite you pissing everywhere, you're just so cute!

Punio: Me... cute...?

Punio started to blush alot.

Punio: SLUT BITCH CUNT!

Goombella: HEY!

Punio blushed even more.

Punio: OH GOD SORRY! I HATE TOURETTES!

Koops: I wish I had turrets.

Punio: NO YOU DON'T! VAGINAL DISCHARGE! VAGINAL DISCHARGE! VAGINAL DISCHARGE!

Goombella: So wait, you must know how to get to Boggly Woods then.

Punio: Yeah... I do. Gimme 1 second. Fucks fucks fucks

Punio disappeared momentarily only to reappear behind then to knock Goombella out cold with a wooden bat like what happened to Mario. I know she wears a helmet, just don't think about it.

Koops: WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT HELL DID YOU DO TO-

Then he whacked Koops with the bat. Then he pulled down the blanket blended in with the wall unveiling a grey warp pipe. He soon dragged the bodies into the pipe pushing them down... not gently.

[?]

Koops woke up in a dark blank room all alone.

Koops: Whoa... Where am I?

Goombella: Hey Koops?

Koops: Hey Goombella. What happened?

Goombella gently undressed herself in front of Koops.

Koops: Whoa... hehe.. Whats going on?

Goombella: Koops. Take me.

Goombella became completely undressed and started kissing Koops all over his face.

Koops: Whoa... I'm liking this.

Koopie Koo came out of the dark as well.

Koopie: Koops!

Koops: Oh hey uhh... Koopie Koo.. Hows it-

Koopie Koo: WHAT ARE YOU DOING KISSING THAT GOOMBA!?

Goombella continued to kiss Koops all over as she started taking off his clothes.

Koops: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I SWEAR!

Koopie Koo: Without me…

Koopie Koo undressed herself and started playing with Koops' genitals.

Koops: Oh! You're taking this better than I expected!

Ms Mowz: Koops remember me?

Koops: Yes I do! Your Ms. Mouse! What are you-

Ms. Mowz: Shh..shh..shh... Its okay... Relax...

Ms. Mowz pulled down Koops' pants and started crawling up his ass.

Koops: WHOA WHOA! DONT DO... Ahhh…

Koops began to feel a tingling sensation in his rectal area.

Koops: Gee wizz... I never expected that to feel so amazing…

Mario: Hey Koops...

Koops: AH MARIO! GET OUT OF HERE!

Mario: Calm down Koops. Just enjoy this moment. This is all for you…

Mario began to take his clothes off revealing his unflatteringly hairy Ron Jeremy shaped body.

Koops: Wait... whats going on? WHAT ARE YOU... NOO NOOO! DONT DO THAT!

Mario began rubbing Koops' nipples while he started grinding his junk between Koops' ass cheeks.

Koops: OKAY OKAY! I'M STARTING NOT TO LIKE THIS! GET AWAY FROM ME! ALL OF YOU!

Mario: Just have fun Koops. This is all for you... all for you...

Goombella, Koopie Koo, and Ms Mowz started chanting "all for you... it's all for you...all for you... it's all for you...all for you... it's all for you.."

Their flesh all started to melt off turning into creepy skeletons grabbing on to Koops.

Koops: HEEEELLLPPP! SOME1 PLEAASEE! I DON'T WANNA DIE! HEELLLPPPP!

The skeletons were all pulling Koops' limb making them feel like they were ready to pull off.

Koops: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!

A mysterious female looking shadow rose from the ground and pulled Koops out of the ground and under into safety.

Mysterious Shadow Girl: Koops, are you alright?

Koops: Yeah! Thank you so much. Uhh... Who are you exactly!

Mysterious Shadow Girl: Hey...

Koops: What?

Mysterious Shadow Girl: Wake up...

Koops: What do you mean?

Chapture 3 - 7: Drug Trip based Woods.

[Captain's log. Stardate: May 20th, 2004. It is 4:20 PM, Cloudy and 63 Degrees F.]

[Boggly Woods]

Koops woke up from that intense dream. You... you knew that whole sex thing with Goombella and them was a dream right? Good. Basically, they entered this black and white looking forest with black trees, white leaves and lots and lots of bushes, surreal looking black and rainbow terrain, and a greyish yellowish sun set with pearl necklace looking things hanging from the sky. Seriously. This place looks like a fucking drug trip! If you've played the game, you'll know how fucking trippy this place looks. This is what Nintendo creates on LSD. I would advice you look up "Boggly Woods" If you don't know what I mean cause I don't think even I can't describe that shit!

Punio: Wake up! Wake Up! Fuckstains Fuckstains Fuckstains!

Punio shook Mario, Goombella, and Koops awake.

Mario: Holy shit. Where are.. what the fuck is this trippy looking place? I don't remember taking acid recently!

Goombella: Wait... Is this the Boggly Woods?

Punio: Yup. dicks... dicks dicks.

Koops got up feeling really weird like he just had a weird dream. Waking up in Boggly Woods probably made him think he's still dreaming and shit.

Goombella: DUDE! You didn't need to hit us with a bat Punio! What the hell!

Punio: What? This?

Punio held up a bat.

Punio: No! Its not a bat, it's my stick of teleportation! Labia Labia Labia.

Mario: Then why is there a warp pipe behind up?

Punio and them looked over at the warp pipe.

Punio: Oh shit... I was trying to keep it a secret of how you guys got here. Asshole Asshole Asshole.

Koops: Guys... Wanna hear about this strange dream I had just there?

Everyone else: NO!

Koops: Aww man. But some of you are in it!

Everyone else still: NO!

Koops: …

Koops noticed he had his first ever wet dream in his life. His dick felt all weird and post ejaculation like after figuring out he had a little sperm leakage from his dick after sticking his hand down his pants. Luckily for his sake, he felt the need not to address it.

Mario: Look, how we got here isn't important. Lets just find this Great Tree shit and get our star.

Goombella: Yeah. Hey Punio, next time you hit me with that thing, I'm feeding you to Mario.

Mario: Oh yeah. No. I was actually trying to scare him. You're too ugly for me to eat.

Punio: Screw you Asshole.

Mario: You didn't say it 3 times...

Punio: I know. Jews Jews Jews.

Somewhere else located in the woods, the 3 Shadow Sirens rose up from the ground to discuss their plans given from Grodus.

Beldam: Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Lets get started w-w-w-w-w-w-with our operation sisters…. Marilyn, Vivian, do you 2 understand the p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-plan?

Marilyn: GUUUHHHH!

Beldam: Excelect understanding skills Marilyn. How about you VIvian?

Vivian: Alright.. well...

Beldam: Recite them in order of letter please.

Vivian: Uhh...Okay... A. Were supposed to find Team M... right?

Beldam: Correct.

Vivian: Umm... B. We do away with them...?

Beldam: Keep g-g-going...

Vivian: Oh gosh... And C... is to take the map?

Beldam: Well done... But I must say, your sister Marilyn spoketh of the plan with much more confidence.

Vivian: But she just said that "Guh" thing she always does.

Beldam grabbed Vivian's hair pulling it in a downward jerking matter.

Vivian: OWW!

Beldam: You moron! Do not disrespect your older sister who is clearly of a higher rank than you!

Marilyn began inhaling a bag of Jumbo sized Cheetos like a vacuum cleaner.

Vivian: Okay! Sorry sis. I'll know better next time...

Beldam: YOU HAD AN ENTIRE M-M-M-M-M-MILLENNIUM TO KNOW BETTER!

Vivian: I know I know... I'm sorry, I just haven't been able to understand her like how you do.

Beldam took a hit off of her crack pipe.

Vivian: I really wish you didn't smoke that in front of me….

Beldam: RELAX STUPID! I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT! BUT THIS HELPS ME FOCUS ON SHIT! ALSO, I DONT NEED TO QU-QU-QU-QUIT. NOR DO I W-W-WANT TO!

Vivian: It's just that it makes you kind of... you know... I just hate watching you destroy yoursel-

Beldam smacked Vivian in the face hard.

Beldam: Do I give you sh-sh-sh-sh-shit for listening to that wretched filth you call music or... rock n roll... or whatever?

Marilyn burped real loudly smelling like Cheetos.

Vivian: Theres... nothing wrong with punk rock... I understand you don't like it and you keep destroying my bass guitars... but-

Beldam: It just makes you dumber than you already are. I destroy those things because it is a waste of t-t-t-t-t-t-time.

Vivian: Well I bet if you let me play, 1 day, I could learn how to be like 1,000,000 Cliff Burtons!

Beldam: You will never be like 1,000,000 Cliff Burtons you incompetent harlett! Stop talking back to your leader!

Marilyn pulled out a random wedding cake from her hat and started eating it by slamming her face in it.

Beldam: And m-m-m-m-m-m-may I just ask what's that you're holding in your hand VIvian.

Vivian forgot she was holding something in her hand the whole time.

Vivian: Me? Oh. I just found this pearl necklace dangling on this tree... It must have been there for a long time. I think it must have fallen out of the sky or something! It looks nice right?

Beldam: You greedy wench VIvian. Hoarding trash like the dirty little cretin you are. Besides its a "pearl necklace!" Do you have any clue what that symbolizes? I means that you like to get jizzed on.

Vivian: Huh?

Beldam: A pearl necklace refers to the dot like drops of an ejaculation when a man climaxes on your neck and chest after inserting his penis between your breasts. And that is why that necklace would make you look like a whore if you put it on.

Beldam: Whatever, on to m-m-m-m-m-m-more important matters. Bring me the photo of Team M's leader!

Vivian: Eeep! What do you mean!? You said it was way too important for me to handle. More important than my own life specifically, so you decided to hold onto it!

Beldam: I SAID NO SUCH THING!

Beldam started injecting heroin into her shadowy veins.

Beldam: You idiot bitch. I left you in charge of it. I don't understand how a pathetic poor excuse for a sister such as yourself could fail at such a s-s-s-s-s-s-simple task!

Beldam abusively pulled Vivian's arm in a jerking motion downward making her fall.

Vivian slowly got up with her hat all dirty and started to tear up.

Vivian: But I...sniff... I'm so sorry...

Merilyn started shaking a random tree eating anything that would fall out.

Vivian: I ... I know you didn't let me touch it the- touch the photo because you said you didn't trust me with it the same way you didn't let me attempt to open the box with the map in it.

Beldam: If you think you could have opened that box! You're wrong. Shadows like us do not have pure hearts! You should know better than that!

Beldam started huffing paint from a paper bag.

Beldam: Marilyn! Stop eating from that tree! Its not EDIBLE!

Marilyn began licking then eat the tree bark.

Beldam: Now back to my point. Since you keep talking back to your leader you ditzy cunt.

Vivian gasped.

Beldam: Since you think you're 1 of your dumb rebellious rock and roll stars, I'll be taking your whore necklace!

Vivian: But why!?

Beldam: SHUT UP!

Beldam viciously head butted Vivian's face knocking her back causing her to lose her grip of the necklace.

Vivian started crying on the ground.

Vivian: I can't believe this always happens... sniff sniff...

Beldam: I'll Pawn this for meth later.

Beldam: Anyway, I'll show you for talking back to me.

Beldam grabbed Vivian's hair dragging her around in circles like yesterday's luggage.

Beldam: Do you want to look weak in front of Team M!?

Vivian: AAHHH IM SORRY!

Marilyn ripped the tree out of the ground and swallowed it whole.

During when this is going on, the real M Team showed up as they casually walked past the Shadow Sirens.

Goombella: You know, I thought it was gonna be alot colder here than I expected.

Koops: Hey! I was saying that earlier!

Mario: Ugg.. How much longer do we have to go.

Punio: Be patient! You can use a walk! Douche douche douche

Mario: AHAHA... Is that a fat joke huh!? Well, you look like a-

Goombella: Mario! Cut your "you look like a" insult shit out for a change!

Mario: Oh just you wait Goombella. Mark my words, I'm gonna say it! Like, seriously, I will say it.

Koops paused and began to notice the 3 shadows doing their shit.

Koops: Why does that 1 pink haired girl getting dragged around seem so familiar? Wait! Guys! Shouldn't we go help her out!? We can always use an extra partner!

Beldam overhears and yells back while punishing Vivian.

Beldam: EAT MY ASS KOOPA!

Vivian: HELP ME!

Marilyn: GUH!

Koops: HANG ON! ILL SAVE YO-

Goombella and Mario: Koops! Come on!

Koops: Aww man... COMING!

Soon enough as we speak, they found the Great Tree of Might!

Koops: We found the Great Tree of Might!

Punio: That's just a regular tree... dumbass. That's the Great Tree of Might over there!

Punio points to it from a far!

Goombella: Holy shit! That thing is huge!

Mario: Why thank you.

Goombella: Shut up dingus! I MEANT the-

Mario: Oh I know what meant... hehe.

Goombella: ... CAN SOME 1 HELP ME WITH THIS!?

Punio: To get to the tree, we gotta take a warp pipe! Douchebag Douchebag Douchebag!

Mario: Great... We gotta find another warp pipe with some majical rocks and shit? How about we use my kidney stones this time!

Punio: It's right here dude... hemorrhoids hemorrhoids hemorrhoids!

Punio pointed the warp pipe right in front of them.

Mario: Well alright then!

The 4 strange characters teleportopipped to the Great Tree of Might.

Punio: Well here it is! genitals genitals genitals!

Koops: Wow! This tree is really is huge! Its bigger than the tree house Finn and Jake live in!

Goombella: Wait... you like Adventure Time! Holy Shit! I thought you like, had only bad taste and whatnot!

Koops: Yeah! Its 1 of my favorite new shows on Cartoon Network.

Goombella: Wait, so whos your favorite character?

Koops: I like the Ice King. I like the more comic relief like characters of the show. The guy who voices him also does the voice of Spongebob so hes cool.

Goombella: Huh... I thought his voice sounded familiar. I would say my favorite comic relief character is LSP.

Koops: You mean Lumpy Space Princess?

Goombella: Yeah. But overall, I would say Marceline is my favorite. Its hard to explain. Shes just a cool character thats all.

Koops: Yeah I like her alot. LemonGrab is another funny character too.

Goombella: Ehh... he's alright. Like, he does have his good moments yeah. Sometimes he can be a little annoying at other moments.

Koops: Yeah. I see what you're saying. Wow! This is our first real conversation isn't it!

Punio: GUYS! WHAT THE HELL HELL HELL DID THEY DO TO OUR TREE!? FUCK ASS ANAL CUM BEARS!

Goombella: We'll talk more about Adventure Time later! Whats going on Punio!?

Punio: Those X-Nauts must have installed a door! OH BOB SAGET! How are we going to save my family now!? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !

Koops: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck fuckfuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

Mario: X-Nauts? Why does that shit sound familiar?

Goombella: Weren't you there when Punio informed us on- Oh right. He knocked you out first.

Koops: We'll have to inform you later.

Mario: Hey! I thought the leader was supposed to be informed on what the fuck is going on!?

Punio: Shut up! We have bigger things to worry about! Cock cock cock!

Mario: Fuck you grey turd!

Punio: Can somebody get this ass clown to shut up!?

Mario: OKAY! No 1 tell this asshole about what [Initiation Mode] is!

Punio: What?

Mario: COUGH COUGH! NOTHING! Sorry. Bit of a cold.

Punio: AHH! I'm sorry everyone! I feel like a failure... Ohh... what are we gonna do? ovarian cyst ovarian cyst ovarian cyst.

Mario: I GOT IT!

Mario attempted to excessively Smash through the red titanium door thinking it will work!

Goombella: That's not gonna work Mario...Like, hello? Its a metal door!

Mario: HOLD ON! JUST! GIVE IT! A! FUCKING! SECOND!

Koops: Hey... Don't take it so fucking hard buddy... At least the tree looks fucking sturdy... Its sturdy as fuck!

Punio: Yeah... pussy pussy pussy. WAIT! I GOT AN IDEA! budussy budussy budussy!

Punio: The Puni Elder told us about a secret entrance somewhere in the tree. We might be able to find a way through if we look hard enough! Dutchbags Dutchbags Duchbags!

Mario walked to Punio while he was panting from attempting to break down the door with his hammer and body.

Mario: So what, we gotta climb this tree or something?

Punio: Well... No. You see, the extra hole to get in is invisible. Some part of this tree has some camouflage blanket covering up the hole. So we just dig deep, and see if we can find that tiny little hole. Bangcock! Bangcock! Bangcock!

Koops: That would be a good "That's what she said joke."

Mario: That doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't we notice it or something? Can't we just smash a new hole on the tree?

Mario pulled out his hammer getting ready to smash holes in the tree.

Punio: Don't even think about it retard!

Mario: What other choice do we have?

Mario attempted to smash holes in the tree and failed every time.

Mario: IS THIS TREE MADE OUT OF FUCKING LED OR SOMETHING!?

Punio: I have a better idea! Flurrie! Madame Flurrie can help us! Fuck Pussy Fuck Pussy Fuck Pussy.

Goombella: Madame Who?

Koops: Sounds like a milkshake from McDonalds. I know cause I used to work there. My band aid fell into 1 I made there.

Mario: Guys... Madame Flurrie is a famous cloud looking porn star from the 80s. She's not just some ordinary porn star neither. No. She was famous for her skat fetishing films.

Goombella: Eww... You would know some1 like that...

Koops: I don't get it. What's "skat?"

Goombella: "Shit"... It means "shit" Koops.

Koops: Oh... huh... cool.

Mario: Yeah. Shes won 4 Woodies for exotically shitting and puking on various celebrities. 1 of them being President Reagan. Some say it was an impersonator though. I have almost an entire collection of her tapes. I even have this 1 where some1 froze 1 of her turds. He used it as a dildo so he can-

Goombella: OKAY THATS ENOUGH INFORMATION MARIO!

Mario: Wait... so does this mean she lives around here or something?

Punio: Well yeah actually! If we just keep heading east, we'll be able to find her house! She might be able to use her wind powers to blow the mysterious blanket off. GOOCH GOOCH GOOCH!

Mario: By blow wind, you mean her ass wind?

Punio: Yes... SHITS SHITS SHITS!

Goombella: Well I guess we just need to keep walking east like last time...

Mario: Yeah. She must have retired or something cause I haven't seen any of her shit since the early 90s. For once, I'm actually excited to meet some1 in this region!

Chapture 3 - 8: Everyone's favorite character!

Madame Flurrie just woke up despite the fact that it is currently 4:59 PM by now. Her room is well decorated with glass frames, and a queen sized porn bed.

Madame Flurrie (Age 49): Ahh... What a lovely day to make love to myself in the woods. Yes. Indeed! Pulling a house out of my ass literally out of my arse was indeed just the finest idea I ever did had! Oh my... yes..

Flurrie started playing with her front butt as she was trying to find her pearl necklace.

Madame Flurrie: This was such an amazing way to retire from that fleshbulb of society. It's so peaceful. I was must done with that wretched place and now like all retired porn stars, I live here in some fucked up woods where no 1 can find me. What is even better is that I am Madame Flurrie! The best person to ever be in the world ever.

Flurrie started to smell her fingers after playing with herself. Some people call this clam digging if you know what I mean.

Flurrie: I suppose if I live hare much longer, I'll feel the need to make a come back to the stage where maybe I can shit on another President. Maybe modern day society will accept my brilliant stunt ideas! After all, it is 2004 where we have Facebook, Twerking, and "#"s!

Flurrie started to pick her nose after putting her fingers in other fowl parts of her own body.

Flurrie: Hmm... In order to do this successfully, I will need my famous Pearl Necklace.

Flurrie: I... could have sworn, I had it here! I had it hanging facing my mirror.

Flurrie impatiently started to have a panic attack as she struggled to find her necklace.

Flurrie: IT'S GONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Flurries yell was loud enough for everyone to hear.

Meanwhile, The M Team and Punio continued heading towards Flurrie's house.

Punio: I'm getting really sick of you making fun of my tourettes asshole! SUCK DICK SUCK DICK SUCK DICK!

Mario: "My names Punio and I can't take it when people makes fun of my swearing!"

Punio: SHUT UP!

Mario: Oh yeah! I almost forgot! PUNIO SUCKS DICK PUNIO SUCKS DICK PUNIO SUCKS DICK!

Punio: I'm gonna kill you FATASS!

Mario and Punio started to viciously fight each other like 2 retards fighting over a He-Man action figure.

Goombella: Will you guys knock it off!

Loud Voice from the Background: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Koops: Whoa! What the fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck was that!

Punio: Hey! That must be Madame Flurrie! We must be getting close! Penisland Penisland Penisland!

Goombella: Sweet! Lets keep going then!

Mario: I am about so ready to lose my shit right now!

Immediately, a gang of 3 strange black and white creatures pooped out of no where. They were all sulking depressed creatures consisting of a Black and White Piranha Plant, a white cloud with a face known as a dark puff ironically, and a Cleft similar to the 1s from the filler chapture section of 2 -3 if you remember reading that part, or if you played the game. Only this cleft has spikes on it's head.

Pale Piranha: Check out these fags guys!

Cleft: Yeah! Where do you people get your shoes? Kohl's or something?

Dark Puff: No! I bet they shop at gap like a couple of asspies!

Mario: Why must we encounter a gang of retards every chapture?

Cleft: Yo guys! I say we should kick their asses for conforming so hard to society.

Pale Piranha: Hehe. Yeah. Lets show them how meaningless life is.

Punio: OH NO! I was afraid of running into these guys! BUTT RAM RUTT RAM BUTT RAM!

Koops: Why the bitchdickshit is that?

Punio: BECAUSE I'M SMALL! They like to eat us, stomp on us! and make us listen to Insane Clown Posse! I CAN'T STAND IT! Cock munch cock munch cock munch!

Dark Puff: We'll show you gaylords what happens when you conform and not dress black and white like us!

Cleft: Yeah nice 1 brah!

Koops: Well if you want, I can just take my hoodie off.

Cleft: NO DUDE! THATS GAY!

Goombella: Look. Why don't you 3 simply just fuck off before you all make a regrettable decision.

Pale Piranha: Check it out! The bitch uses her mouth for things other than sucking dick!

Dark Puff: Maybe if you all listened to some My Chemical Romance, you'll understand...

Goombella: You are all so ded! We murdered a dragon! And Mario fucked it!

Mario: Yeah!

Pale Pirahna: YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD OUR LIVES ARE!

Mario: Okay, you all have 2 options. 1, leave and go back to your 1920's Disney cartoons. Or 2, I can make you all die faster than any of you killing yourselves from slitting your wrists.

Cleft: In the name of all that is dark and Xxxforgottenly_sinfulxxX, we shall DESTROY YOU ALL! DESTROY YOU ALL! DESTROY YOU ALL! DESTROY YOU ALL! DESTROY YOU ALL!

Koops: STOP RUINING BILLY AND MANDY!

[BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 18/30 (That absurd fight with Gus explains it)

Mario: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

FP: 10

v.s.

Pale Pirahna: Power Level 8

Dark Puff: Power Level 6

Cleft: Power Level 8

Battle Music: Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

[TURN 1]

Goombella uses tattle on Pale Piranha: This is a Pale Piranha. Their species is known for being depressed and sounding monotone ALL THE TIME! They have a power level of 8 and it bites with it's improper dental hygiene.

Mario uses Power Smash knocking out Pale Piranha.

Dark Puff: Whoa man! Like, not cool. Like, life is totally pointless and all, but now you're just being a fucking jock dude.

Cleft: Well I'm going to pull out my Deth Notebook from Deth Note! AND I'm GONNA KILL THEM LIKE SO HARD AND STUFF!

Dark Puff slammed into Goombella: [2 Damage]

Dark Puff: I totally just bumped into her boobs man!

Goombella looked down at her chest noticing how flat chested she really is.

Cleft spent his turn writing the opponent's names into his Deth Note. Unfortunately, he didn't know their names so he wrote down "Conformist Faggots" instead.

[TURN 2]

Goombella performs another tattle: This is a Dark Puff. They have a power level of 6. Sometimes, they charge up with thunder planning to attack you with lightning. Don't touch it when it's charged up unless you like getting electrocuted stupid!

Mario: Well it spent it's turn bumping into your nonexistent boobs so...

Mario uses Power Bounce on Dark Puff knocking it unconscious: [4 Damage]

Clef cuts himself thinking that what happens in the anime "Blood +" will work.

Mario: This guy is not even trying.

[TURN 3]

Mario uses-

Goombella: WAIT! I need to do the tattle first!

Mario: Oh yeah...

Goombella usus Tattle: This is a Cleft, it has high defense and has a power level of 8. Obviously you can't jump on him, cause you know... There's fucking spikes on its head! So just hit him with something powerful and you're good to go!

Mario Uses Power Smash slamming him so hard that he broke into 23 pieces: [2 Damage]

[Level Up!]

Mario leveled up his BP to 9.

[END OF BATTLE]

The Pale Piranha and Dark Puff got back up after being heavily injured.

Pale Piranha: I can't believe you killed Cleft man!

Dark Puff: Yeah! Next time we see you, we're gonna stab you all in your ugly faces dude!

The remaining 2 creatures ran off along with accidently dropping a Purple hammer shaped badge known as a Quake Hammer.

Mario: Yeah! Run back to your Cure records and paint your fucking nails black faggots!

Goombella: God Damnit Mario.

Koops: Hey look! They dropped something!

Mario: Oh shit! Its a badge! I knew upgrading my Badge Power was a wise decision!

Mario: Imma go put this on now…

Mario places another badge on somewhere in his body.

Goombella: So what is the science behind Badge Power anyway? Can't you just put them on?

Mario: Its not that simple, if you put on any more than you can handle, your body turns inside out and you're pretty much immobilized from there on out.

Punio: Flurrie's house is this way everyone! Octopussy Octopussy Octopussy

After a few more tedious obstacles through the woods, the 4 of them finally reached Flurrie's house. Also, they had to take a warp pipe to get there.

Punio: Well here we are. Mastasia Mastasia Mastasia!

Mario: SWEET! I finally get to meet my favorite porn star! Maybe we'll get to have sex!

Mario hammer slammed down the door in sheer excitement.

Goombella: What the hell Mario!? You didn't even check to see if the door was locked!

Mario: A door is merely an obstruction that is designed to shelter 1's selves!

Goombella: That was... oddly insightful yet so stupid.

[Flurrie's House]

They entered Flurrie's house. Which is covered in a collection of photo's if the younger her doing various erotic fetish like acts.

Koops: Whoa! Look at all of these photos of her! She's got to be the real deal!

Mario immediately had an obvious boner looking at all of the pictures.

Mario: Ohohohohoho yeahahahahahh...

Koops: Thats a... thats a -

Mario: ... yes... thats a boner... enjoy.

Koops: Uhh... well okay...

Punio: Yuck Mario.. Tumor Dicks! Tumor Dicks! Tumor Dicks!

Goombella: Eww... this bitch seems totally full of herself. Who needs to look at themselves naked pooping this much! It's gross!

Mario: Uh oh guys! Its Goombella classically hating other women!

Goombella: AM NOT! But i'm closing my eyes till we leave!

They all walked upstairs to the door of that which is Flurrie's room. Goombella kept bumping into shit trying to make it to the upstairs. Maybe she should open her god damn eyes already.

Punio: Uhh... Excuse me... uhh... Flurrie.

Koops got in a crawling position and started smelling something rather foul through Flurrie's door.

Koops: Say… What's that smell Mario?

Mario: That's pussy Koops! Stanky ol' pussay.

Koops: Yeah! But why does it smell so fishy! I mean, Koopie Koo's was alot cleaner smelling than this.

Mario: Thats cause Flurrie's a real women.

Flurrie: EEEEEEKKK! Don't come in! I'm indecent!

Mario: Welp! All the more reason!

Mario pulled out his hammer getting ready to smash through the doors.

Punio: CUT IT OUT MARIO! MEXIJEWS! MEXIJEWS! MEXIJEWS!

Flurrie: Is that you Punio!? Oh my! How I recognize your cute squishy footsteps and your adorable... you know...

Punio: Thanks for respecting me. Penis foot Penis foot Penis foot

Goombella knocked down a few paintings of Flurrie getting cleavage fucked.

Goombella: Oww!

Flurrie: Punio! What are you doing here? It's been an age since I last heard from you.

Punio: Well you see uhh... we have a huge favor to ask of you madame. These X-Nauts people invaded our tree and installed a stupid door. My Puni friends and family are inside and who knows what's happening to them! I just don't know what to do! FUCK PUSSY! FUCK PUSSY! FUCK PUSSY!

Flurrie: Oh... is that all dearie?

Punio: Thats kind of alot... PLACENTA! PLACENTA! PLACENTA!

Flurrie: My adorable Punio! As much as I would love to help you little guys outs, I mustn't. For I am indecent at the moment...

Koops: Mario, how come shes not scared and accusing us as robbers for breaking into her house?

Mario: She was in a porno where something like this happened 1ce. It was hot.

Goombella accidently popped a Madame Flurrie blow up doll by stepping on it too hard.

Goombella: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?

Flurrie: I just... I mean... I can't... be seen without my famous pearl necklace... I must have dropped it 1 day when I did alot of ecstacy where I decided to streak naked in the woods last nights.

Koops: You mean you can't be seen if you are not wearing some necklace?

Flurrie: It's NOT just "some" necklace! Its my Pearl necklace. Do you have any idea what it symbolizes!?

Koops: Huh?

Mario: I know! A pearl necklace refers to the dot like drops of an ejaculation when a man climaxes on your neck and chest after inserting his penis between your breasts. And that is why that necklace makes you look like a whore when you put it on.

Flurrie: This guy gets it!

Goombella tried walking up the stairs but failed as she foolishly fell down the stairs like a paraplegic.

Goombella: I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE!

Koops: Oh gee whiz... So now we gotta go look for a necklace or something...

Mario: Well there were plenty of those in the sky. Can't we just find a way to grab 1 of those things?

Punio: That's just part of the sky in this level dude. I don't understand the science behind it either. Pussy Ostrich Pussy Ostrich Pussy Ostrich.

Flurrie: If you kind folks can find my famous necklace, that would be marvelous! Afterwords, I will be more than happy to help you my dearest Punio.

Punio: Don't worry Madame Flurrie! We'll find your pearl necklace in no time! donkey dildo donkey dildo donkey dildo!

Flurrie: Thank you so much kind people! You all are oh so kind.

The 4 of them were about you take off.

Koops: Come on Goombella, lets go.

Koops picked up the dizzy Goombella as she spent the entire time in Flurrie's house with her eyes shut trying to climb stairs.

Mario ran back to Flurrie's doorway.

Mario: Hey Flurrie, Hi. big fan here. I was wondering is I can uhh... have your autograph... or something?

Flurrie: Oh it is so wonderful for me to hear from my fans, but unfortunately, you guys need to find my necklace before you can have 1.

Mario: Oh SON OF A BITCH! Wait up dicks!

Mario caught up with the rest of them.

Chapture 3 - 9: "Enter the Shadows"

[Boggly Woods]

As Mario, Goombella, Koops, and Punio were looking around the forest for Flurrie's necklace, 3 Shadow Sirens continued to have some debacles of their own.

Marilyn started devouring a giant version of 1 of those big ass sandwich with the Krispy Kreme doughnuts as buns.

Vivian: Beldam! I'm telling you... sniff... I don't have the map. Just please stop hurting me…

Beldam raised up Vivian pulling by her hair and looks at her directly.

Beldam: You will address me as your leader you disrespectful twat! You're the reason why our operation has been fluctuated!

Marilyn started to "GUH" with grimy food all around her face like some gross hog eating pig slop.

Marilyn: GUH GUH!

Beldam: What's that Marilyn!?

Marilyn: GUH GUH GUH GUUUUHHH!

Beldam: What about my hat!?

Marilyn grabbed Beldam's hat as she was attempting to eat it. Beldam however grabbed it back.

Beldam: Hey! Let go of my hat you buffoon!

The photo of Mario Beldam accused Vivian of having fell out of her hat.

Beldam yanked her hat away from Marilyn.

Beldam: I can't believe it was in my h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hat the whole time!

Beldam observed the photo of Mario doing an erotic pose wearing a speedo. By erotic pose, I mean goatse.

Beldam: Ooooo... This Mario guy is soo sexy... with his manly mustache and bulging gut... Where have I heard of this guy before...

Beldam began to focus her attention towards Vivian.

Beldam: Vivian! Why the hell would you put the photo in my hat!?

Vivian: WHAT!? Forgive me, but I am almost very certain that you put it in your hat for safe keeping!

Beldam: Silence you pathetic brainless skank! So help me god I am going to punish you so hard, you'll be lucky if you're still capitated! I will chain you up, and pour hot candle wax all over your shadowy body!

Vivian: But... Thats not fair! I don't understand what I do to make you hate me so much!

Beldam: Probably cause you're gross, fat, ugly, and you're a fucking boy.

Marilyn lifted up a huge chunk of the earth like a fucking titan and slowly started devouring it.

Vivian: Please stop calling me a boy! You're the reason why histories tattle logs display that information. That's why all these articles all over the world that speak of our legends say that about me! I have no problem with genders, but I just don't like being called something I know I'm not-

Beldam grabbed Vivian's head and kneed her using her shadow leg thing.

Beldam: I've had enough out of your cock juggling mouth! You are whatever I say you are. Nothing more.

Vivian: Aww man...

Beldam started smoking meth.

Beldam: Since you love foiling our plans so much, maybe you should find the way to find Team M and kill them yourselves.

Vivian puked on the ground as she is not 1 for committing such acts and tends to get very nervous when those things are presented to her.

Meanwhile, the Mean Team with Punio continued looking around for that necklace that Beldam obviously has.

Mario: So Punio, I forgot to ask. How do you know Madame Flurrie?

Punio: Well, you see... this is kind of SHIT SHIT SHIT! Embarrassing... But, me and a few others have worked as sort of... well... I shouldn't say... DILDOS DILDOS DILDOS! AH SHIT!

Punio: Basically, she likes them alive. Thats all I have to say.

Mario: That is the greatest thing I've ever heard and you should be proud. Maybe you're not such a little fuck ass after all are you.

Punio: FUCK ASS FUCK ASS FUCK ASS!

The M Team was suddenly spotted by the Shadow Sirens. Beldam began addressing them in an ominous way.

Beldam: Mario... come out and playyay... Mario... Come Out And Playyay... MARIO... COME OUT AND PLAYYYAYY! MMAAAAAAAAARRRIOOOOOO... COOMEE OUT AND PLAAAAAYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYY!

Koops: I know that pink haired 1 looks familiar...

Mario: Who the fuck are you? And why the fuck are you ripping off Clockwork Orange?

Beldam: Who we are isn't important... we're here for the map and our Star of Wrath!

Goombella: How do you creeps know about the stars!?

Koops: Yeah! Leave us alone!

Beldam: Mwe hee hee hee hee... I have no beef with any of you t-t-t-t-tt-t-t-2. We're here for Mario. So going home may be in the best of your guys' interest.

Mario: Ooooo... I like where this is going...

Goombella: I think those things want you ded Mario.

Mario: I do too sometimes…

Beldam started lighting up Flurrie's necklace on a spoon thinking it's heroin.

Koops: LOOKS! THAT'S THE NECKLACE GUYS!

Beldam: Hmm... Since you all seem to be curious to stick around, I suppose you all deserve to know our name...

Beldam: We are...

Marilyn: Guh GUH GUH GUH!

Vivian: Shadow Beauties!

Koops and Goombella: The 3 shadow beauties?

Mario: HA! Your team name sucks dick! We're the-

Beldam: Yeah yeah... Your Team M. WE KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MORONIC TEAM!

Mario: Team M? Hmm... Its funny you say that. We're actually "The M Team"... But I think I actually like the name "Team M" slightly better! Alright! We are Team M everyone!

Goombella: It's the same name Mario.

Beldam immediately snorted a line of cocaine.

Mario: You gonna share that shit or what?

Beldam: Vivian! You brought shame onto our family with that stupid addition to our name. We are the SHADOW! SIRENS! Shadow Beauties... Try me again, and i'll break all of your teeth you incompetent bitch.

Koops: Hey leave her alone! Thats your sister you're talking to!

Goombella: How do you know they're siblings?

Koops: I kind of figured. I dont know.

Vivian: But sis... I was just trying to be clever…

Koops: Told yuh!

Beldam: I DON'T CARE! Besides, there are only 2 beauties I see here. Me and Marilyn!

Goombella: Wow. Fuck you bitch.

Beldam: Besides Vivian. You will never be a real girl! You're a fucking dude and you will always be a dude!

Vivian: STOP CALLING ME THAT! You know that's not true... You know how that gets to me…

Beldam smacked Vivian hard as hell.

Vivian: OWW!

Marilyn: GUH!

Mario: HA! You call that smacking your team mates!?

Mario demonstrated how to smack by smacking Koops harder than Beldam did to Vivian.

Koops: OOOWWWW!

Mario: That is how you smack your teammates you dumb ugly troll looking bitch!

Goombella: JESUS CHRIST MARIO! You didn't have to smack him!

Beldam: Oh you are so ded for that comment... No 1 calls me a bitch!

Koops began to tear up.

Koops: Mario, sniff...why did you just smack me like that? That really hurt...

Beldam: Vivian! I forgot to mention, if you think that smack in the face was bad... wait till you see what I have in store for your REAL punishment... I am going to put a red rubber ball in your mouth while I get my whip and smack you senselessly as you drip in passion fruit candle wax. Anyhow, get ready cause we got some foolish mortals to do away with.

Mario: I did that to show them the way Team M rolls! And we are fucking serious! Now stop bitching you fucking moron and lets kick their dark spooky asses!

Vivian: Sniff... Gee whiz... I'm just meant to be your punching bag am I?

Koops: Sniff... Gee whiz... But smacking your friends is a little cruel if you ask me...

Beldam: SHUT UP VIVIAN!

Mario: SHUT UP KOOPS!

Koops and Vivian: Aww man…

Koops and Vivian both looked at each other across from where they were standing and awkwardly staring at eachother with their mouths kind of opened.

Koops and Vivian: ...whoa...

[BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 30

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

FP: 10/10

V.S.

Beldam: Power Level 14

Marilyn: Power Level 24

Vivian: Power Level 15

Battle Music: Last Rites / Loved to Death by Megadeth

[TURN 1]

Beldam: Just a heads up Mario! You're our primary target... So I must say in your scenario, you are most unlucky... This will be payback for that rude insult...

Mario: Pfffftttt... You call that an insult... Let me get started... Goombella, do you'r tattle shit!

Goombella: I thought you would never ask!

Goombella uses tattle on Vivian: This is Vivian, she's the youngest sister of the Siren family. she has a power level of 15. I'm not gonna lie, she's pretty cute... even cuter than me... uhh... MARIO! KILL HER FIRST! SHE'S THE MOST DEDLY!

Mario: Really? I was gonna go after the fat 1 first...

Goombella: SHE'S TRYING TO... uhhh... BANN PORNO!

Mario: Oh hell naw! Liston Vivian! You look like a cheap emo knock off of Raggedy Anne wearing black face who shops at Hot Topic! You probably cry and cut yourself alot cause you're too poor to afford tickets to see AFI! Also, your hat makes you look like a fucking drag queen!

Vivian: That's the meanest thing i've ever heard... sniff...

Goombella: Its funny you mention that, the book here states that she actually is a guy in drag.

Vivian: It sais that!? See what you started Beldam!

Beldam: Stop whining and concentrate Vivian!

Mario uses Power Bounce on Vivian like a fucking trampoline: [7 Damage]

Vivian gets up and uses shade fist on Goombella: Goombella [Countered -1] by biting her hand.

Vivian: OWW!

Goombella: THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN SOME1 PUTS SOMETHING IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DON'T WANT!

Beldam: VIVIAN! A, GO FOR MARIO! B, STOP SUCKING!

Marilyn uses retard hand clap attack on Mario: [Countered -1] by Mario punching her in the stomach.

Beldam uses uppercut on Mario: [Countered -1] by Mario making her punch herself in a humiliating fashion.

Beldam: How are they countering like that!?

Mario: Probably cause your moves are so slow!

[TURN 2]

Goombella uses tattle: This is Marilyn, the middle child of the Sirens. Despite her being severely mentally challenged and probably shouldn't be fighting with them, she is easily the strongest 1 of them. Her power level is 24!

Mario: Is that so! Marilyn, you look like 1 of those 1000 pound fucks on TLC who need severe liposuction surgery if you wanna live another minute. If theres anything more challenging than your cholesterol and ability to stand up, its your fucking down syndrome!

Marilyn started clapping her hands in joy.

Marilyn: GUHUH! GUHUH! GUHUH!

Mario: Oh. And you're a poopy head!

Marilyn: GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!

Marilyn got super pissed at Mario as she starting bursting out steam like Majin Buu.

Mario uses POW Block damaging on all including knocking out Vivian: [2 Damage]

Vivian: I'm sorry sis...

Vivian fainted.

Beldam: YOU SUCK DICK VIVIAN!

Marilyn uses power up to boost her attack by 2.

Beldam uses dark majic to shrink Mario!

Goombella: HAHAHAH! Mario... You're so tiny its hilarious...

Mario: OH SHE IS SO GETTING THE BEST OF MY INSULTS NEXT TURN!

[TURN 3]

Goombella uses tattle of Beldam: This is Beldam. She is the leader of/ oldest sister of the Siren family. Her personality rotts to high hell. I wonder if she was always like that or if it's from her major drug addiction... either way, she's got a power level of 14, so she's apparently the weakest ironically.

Beldam just smoked some heroin mixed with math.

Mario: Beldam huh? I might be small right now, but I can still kick your - You look like an ugly jew nosed nekkid mole rat. Out of all the corpses I have ever seen, you are the most unfuckable! You are the 1st horrifying example I have ever seen in drug use along with being the grossest saggiest vomit inducing shriveled cunt I have ever seen waiting for an overdose to happen. Kill yourself - ass! OH! 3 for 3!

Beldam: YOU ARE GONNA DIE FOR THAT YOU FUCKING WOP!

Mario: Oh thats it!

Mario uses Pow Block: [2 Damage All]

Beldam: Time for our most ultimate attack!

Marilyn uses Thunderstruck: [4 Damage All]

Mario: Holy shit! They're doing damage now!

Beldam uses Polar Vortex: [1 Damage All]

Goombella is left frozen.

Beldam: This is what happens when I smoke enough ice! Mwee hehehehehe!

[TURN 4]

Mario: Hmm... I got an idea! If theres anything I know about dumb ass shows,

Mario held up the Star of Wrath above his head!

Mario: This thing better have some special fucking power!

Mario was getting impatient with the dedly star.

Mario: LETS GO YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT STAR! DO SOMETHING OR ILL FUCKING SMASH YOU, YOU FUCK ASS DICK!

The Star of Wrath started glowing and growing.

Mario: OH SHIT! I'm getting on!

Mario hopped on the growing Star of Wrath as it grew to be as big as an elephant.

Mario: PREPARE TO DIE!

The star started levitating and smashed itself on the ground causing intense earth waves blasting the conscious sirens causing Beldam to faint, and Marilyn to be heavily damaged: [6 Damage All]

Beldam: Marilyn... kick... his ... as.s...

Marilyn: Guh!

[TURN 5]

Goombella broke through the ice.

Goombella: What the hell did you do Mario!?

Mario: Apparently I held up the Star and I started yelling at it. Then it just did that earthquake thing...

Goombella: Weird.

Mario: Anyway, are you going to finish off the fat 1 or not?

Goombella: Sure but...

Mario: But what?

Goombella: I... don't think I can harm some1 with down syndrome. Even if they are evil...

Mario: Sigh... God Damnit Goombella... Koops! Can you?

Koops: Well... if she's not doing it.. then... I'd feel bad for doing it too.

Mario: Oh for FUCK sakes!

Mario jumped on Koops' shell to bounce on Marilyn knocking her out: [2 Damage]

Marilyn: GUUUHHH!

Mario: That is how Team M rolls bitches!

[END OF BATTLE]

All of The Shadow Sirens got up.

Beldam: Mmmmwee hee haaaaaaaaack! Oooog. I can't b-b-b-b-b-b-b-believe we lost... THIS ISN'T OVER CRETINS! Vivian! You ditz! We would've won if you didn't pass out 1st!

Vivian: But he-

Beldam: NO! AFTER I PUNISH YOU BY BEATING YOU SENSELESSLY AND SHOVING VARIOUS FOREIGN OBJECTS IN YOU, I'M GOING TO TIE YOU UP AND FORCE YOU TO PLAY "GAPER MARIO" 1000 TIMES IN A ROW!

Beldam: In the mean time, RETREAT!

Beldam ran off dropping Flurrie's necklace.

Beldam: SHIT!

Marilyn ran off afterwards and grabbed another tree for leftovers.

Vivian walked away singing an emotionally heartfelt musical ballad about her troubles with herself under an imaginary spotlight. And no 1 give 2 fucks to listen. Okay. Maybe Koops did, but he was too shy to say anything. Oh and the Paper Mario fanbase masterbated to it… alot.

She soon teleported off.

Koops: Hey! Wait!

Mario: Yeah you better run Shadow Bitch!

Koops: *sigh* Guys... I got the necklace…

Punio popped out of the bushes

Punio: GUYS!

Goombella: There you are!

Mario: Yeah. Where the fuck did you go?

Punio: I hid in the bushes. I figured that I was too weak to put up a decent fight so I hid in the bushes. QUEERMOS QUEERMOS QUEERMOS!

Koops: I don't know about that. You sure can knock us out unconscious with that bat of yours.

Punio: IT'S A TELEPORTATION STICK! LARD TITS LARD TITS LARD TITS

Mario: So when you knocked me out, it was for teleportation?

Punio: UNIMPORTANT! LETS BRING THE NECKLACE BACK TO FLURRIE ALRIGHT! PUS INFECTION! PUS INFECTION! PUS INFECTION!

Mario: Yeah what evs...

Koops: Hey guys... is it me, or did you guys all kind of feel bad for... What was her name... uhh... you know... the youngish shadow with the pink hair...

Goombella: Why does that matter?.. She was 1 of the enemies...

Koops: I don't know... she actually didn't seem that bad though. She actually seemed kind of interesting... I don't know... she actually seemed really friendly actually.

Goombella: You know shes a guy right?

Koops: I don't know about that... I've heard many sides to that argument. I liked that song she sang right?

Mario: Yeah. I wasn't really listening. It seemed kind of gay to me.

Koops: Well I hope we get to see them again soon.

Mario: We probably will. We'll probably murder-fuck them like I did with Hookertail next time.

Goombella: You still on that "murder-fuck" kick Mario?

Mario: Always am... always will...

Koops: Did you guys kind of get a Canker Sisters vibe from them?

Goombella: From Ed Edd n Eddy? Yeah I guess... Kind of when you think about it.

Koops: Yeah... I can think of alot of comparisons in my head about that. Hey, if we were Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, which 1s would we be?

Goombella: Honestly, I'd probably be Double Dee...

Koops: Yeah I can see that. You are the smart 1 after all.

Goombella: Aww... thank you...

Koops: Who would I be?

Goombella: You're probably not gonna like this, but you'd be Ed.

Koops: What why?

Goombella: No offense, but I'm not saying you're as slow as Ed, but you are kind of the slow 1 among us at least. Sorry.

Koops: Aww man... I was hoping to be Eddy.

Goombella: I would say Mario's Eddy.

Koops: Good point. They kind of share the same mannerisms...

Punio: Who am I then... prostate ticklers prostate ticklers prostate ticklers!

Goombella: You? You can be Jimmy.

Punio: What? I don't wanna be Jimmy... godcock godcock godcock! Give me Kevin.

Goomella: No. You'r Jimmy. You ran away like he would.

Punio: Can I at least be Rolf? buttface buttface buttface.

Koops: No. No 1 will ever be Rolf.

Mario: Guys! Were here!

Goombella: Whoa! That was quick! How did we get here so quickly?

Mario: You guys got so carried into conversation that the time must have flown by.

Koops: Hey cool! We should do that more often then!

Goombella: Guys! I think I'm gonna stay out here... I'm not going into that disgusting house again.

Mario: Spoken from the classic woman hater. I am godsmacked...

Goombella: Shut up...

Chapture 3 - 10: Fun with Flurrie!

[Flurrie's House]

All but Goombella casually walked through that part of the house that was originally the door.

Mario's boner returned 1ce more.

Mario: YES!

Koops: What?

Mario: Oh... nothing.

Punio: Eww not again. 1 EYED WEASEL! 1 EYED WEASEL! 1 EYED WEASEL!

Mario: Yes again.

Punio: Eh... Hello Flurrie! We're back! Chode Master Chode Master Chode Master.

Flurrie: Ah marvelous! Deerie! Did you find my necklace!?

Koops: We sure did!

Punio: Yeah! We had to fight some creepy shadowy goons for it! Asstacos Asstacos Asstacos.

Mario: Shut the fuck up asstaco! You just hid in the bushes like a fucking pussy!

Flurrie: Oh! That is just astounding! Delightfully Astounding. I'm beside myself, truly! But... can you kind gentlemen leave the necklace by the door? I wish not to be seen so indecently without it. You must cover your eyes for I am not to be seen without it...

Koops: Are you sure it's that big of a deal I mean... Its just a necklace!

Flurrie: WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS! ITS NOT JUST A NECKLACE! SO COVER YOUR EYES!

Koops: Oh gee whiz... okay.

They all covered their eyes except for Mario who did that thing where he secretly looked through a crack through his hands pretending to cover his eyes.

Mario: This is it... I'm finally gonna meet my favorite porn star! This is so awesome! She better still be hot!

Flurrie: Here I cum everyone!

Background Music: Milkshake by Kelis

Madame Flurrie at last made her appearance. Unfortunately for everyone, she looked and smelt absolutely terrible. She is basically this fat purple old gross blob looking thing that wore more makeup than 1000 cheap hookers combined. She almost looks like a deformed version of Queen Latifah. She's got these super sized lips. Her face full of botox, she can't even close her fucking mouth her lips are so big. She reeks of bad breath, bad pussy, and unwiped female asscrack, and has these unflattering saggy J Cup sized tittes. "J" stands for Jumbo for all you pervs out there. For some really stupid reason, she does not have any nipples which is odd because this saggy "BBW" is just floating around topless. Some of her qualities take the form of some of Bowser's Koopalings. For instance, her hair looks like Ludwig's, and her face looks like Wendy's. If it wasn't for her necklace, she would be completely fucking naked.

A random disco ball popped out of no where while a bunch of rose petals and glowing hearts spun around her for dramatic effect like it was some kind of dumb chibi anime moment.

Madame Flurrie: Okay dearies... You can open your eyes now!

As soon as they did, Mario, Koops, even Punio, and even Goombella immediately puked at the grotesque looking character.

Mario, Koops, Punio and Goombella: BLEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!

Flurrie: Aww... Whats wrong?

Mario: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!? YOU GOT SO FUCKING FAT SINCE I LAST FAPPED TO YOU! BLEEERRRGGG!

Koops: YOU LOOK LIKE A GROSS SEXUALIZED VERSION OF LUMPY SPACE PRINCESS!

Mario: NICE 1 KOOPS- BLEEEERRRRRGGGGGG-

Mario hysterically sealed his mouth shut with his hands trying to keep more vomit from coming out, but it instead was squeezing through his fingers like Play Doh while his cheeks were inflating with even more vomit.

Goombella: SHE DOES!? I CAN'T SEE CAUSE I'M NOT LOOKING IN THERE, BUT FROM HERE, SHE SMELLS LIKE- BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG! LIKE THAT!

Punio: SHE'S NOT THAT BAD GUYS! SHIT PUSSY! SHIT PUSSY! SHIT PUSS- BLEEERRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!

Mario: THEN WHY ARE YOU PUKING AND YELLING IN ALL CAPS THEN!? BLEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Punio: IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I LAST SAW HER! BONER CHEESE! BONER CHEESE! BONER CHEESE!

Flurrie: Aww shucks guys...

Mario: NO! NOT AWW SHUCKS, FUCK YOU! I HAD A BONER WAITING TO SEE YOU! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING PORN STAR GETS OLD AND FAT!? FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS SHIT!

Mario: YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD SAY ABOUT YOU!?

Mario: That is 2 out of 6 things I wish I could unsee.

Flurrie: Well... I'm sorry... Do you still want my autograph?

Mario: WHA WH WH W PFT WH WHAT!? HELL NO DO I WANT YOUR FUCKING AUTOGRAPH! NO WONDER WHY YOU LIVE IN THE FUCKING WOODS YOU CHEAP UGLY WHORE! EWW!

Mario got naked, and started breaking all of her furniture and destroying her photos because he was that pissed off that his favorite shit fetishing porn star decided to turn all old and fat. Eventually, everything in her house got destroyed by Mario's child like bitch fit.

Mario: ITS NOT FAIR! LIFE ISN'T FAIR! I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF! AAHHHH!

Flurrie: Is he gonna be alright?

Koops: Yeah... He'll be fine I guess...

Flurrie: Aww... I know what can cheer him up…

Flurrie started to float to Mario.

Flurrie: Aww... come here Mario my necklace hunting hero and give me some sugar…

Flurrie grabbed Mario's shoulders.

Mario: Uhh... wha... what are you doing?

Flurrie: PUCKER UP!

She started pressing her lips into Mario's face. Crazy people would actually call this kissing. Mario's eyes opened senselessly as he struggled to get out of her vicious french kissing grip.

Koops: JESUS CHRIST! WHATS SHE DOING!?

Goombella: Wait what's going on? I still haven't opened my eyes yet.

Punio: You can open your eyes Goombella! Mario destroyed all of her stuff. SHIT SHIT SHIT!

Goombella: Oh. Alright then

Goombella: OH! MY! GO- BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!1

Goombella started puking at the sight of Flurrie lip locking with Mario. More so at the sight of Flurrie alone.

Mario eventually pushed her off of him with full force.

Mario: RAPE! RAPE! EVERYONE! I WAS RAAAAAAAAAAPED! SHE FUCKING RAPED MEEE! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEE RAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEDDD- BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!1

Mario started running around in circles, puking, slipping on his own puke like a retard, and slamming into walls and shit.

Goombella: Mario! Calm down!

Mario: DONT TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN! THAT IS THE SINGLE WORST MOST TAUNTING THING YOU CAN EVER SAY TO SOME1! DID YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE HER RAPE ME!? THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT I WOULD SEE FLURRIE IN MY WET DREAMS!

Flurrie: Oh, Mario, that was sooooooooooo romantic...

Mario: OH FUCK YOU RAPIST!

Koops: Wait, didn't she just kiss you?

Mario: SHE FORCED A PART OF HER BODY INTO ME! LAST TIME I CHECKED, THAT IS TEXTBOOK RAPE. PLUS I'M NAKED!

Punio: But you got naked on your own... BENT COCK BENT COCK BENT COCK!

Goombella: What if Princess Peach forcingly kissed you?

Mario: Thats different... she's ACTUALLY hot. Its not rape when the person doing it is HOT!

Goombella started rolling her eyes as usual.

Goombella: My Liberal Arts College would absolutely love you...

Flurrie: So you guys need some help getting a tree back? Well with a man thats so teeth grindingly sexy with his bushy mustache and his hairy gut, how can I say no... He kind of reminds me of Ron Jeremy... I hope Mario has what he's got if you know what I mean... so far his flaccid size looks to be 5.54 so yeah.

Mario was laying on the floor in a fetal position.

Mario: I see... i seee ... penguins... THEY'RE C-C-C-C-COMING FOR MII!

Goombella: Wow! Thats a good guess!

Flurrie: Well I am an expert you know. His dashing sexyness has really got me quite moist...

Mario: BLERG!

Mario puked a little bit on the floor.

Flurrie: I must keep his sexy disfigured ass safe. Such a lucky break for you all for I have pleasing news! I will be joining you on your little team. Is that alright?

Flurrie gave a sexually unpleasant wink at everyone.

Mario, Goombella, and Koops: NO! BLEEEERRRGGG!

Flurrie: Tooooo laaaaaaaaaaaate...

"Flurrie has joined Team M unfortunately."

Mario: OH WHAT THE FUCK! BLEEEERRRG!

Goombella: Shit. Another girl on the team... Shes trouble...

Koops: I think our "little team" just got alot bigger! Right guys!?

Mario and Goombella: Shut up Koops!

Koops: Aww man...

[INITIATION MODE]

Flurries Abilities a Primer,

Flurrie can break wind at any direction of an enemy making them puke. By "break wind," I mean... you know what I mean... So yeah, she can basically fart continuously for as long as she needs to.

Mario: WH...WHY!?

She can also use her boobs to slam opponents in battles where she slams her unpleasantly large veiny buzzums onto enemies. She can also use queef force to blow enemies away in [BATTLE MODE].

Mario: WHAT THE FUCK! SERIOUSLY!? ALL OF THESE MOVES COULD HAVE BEEN WAY BETTER BACK WHEN SHE WAS 27!

Unfortunately, Mario won't get XP from it, so were not going to let her use this attack. EVER!

Mario: THANK YOU IAMMASTER! THANK YOU FOR GIVING HER ONLY THAT 1 REDEEMING QUALITY YOU FUCK!

[END OF INITIATION MODE]

Punio: So how do I do an initiation!? Cock doodler Cock doodler Cock doodler

Mario: Fat chance fuck face.

Mario: So can we go take care of this tree business now? I need to get my mind off this "Flurrie has joined The Party" bullshit...

Flurrie: Yes. OH! 1 more thing before we go!

Flurrie pulled out a bag of marijuana out from her cleavage.

Flurrie: Do you folks like ganja?

Koops: Ganja? Whats that?

Goombella: She means weed Koops.

Mario: Wait! You have weed!?

A couple hours have passed as the gang of 4 plus Punio who is not nor ever will be a member of Team M had another toked out stoner conversation about dumb crap.

Flurrie: So you darlings are not only trying to save The Great Tree of Might, but you are all fixing to collect the 7 Dedly stars? That sounds like a gay adventure indeed. Joyfully gay I must say.

Mario: Oh. You mean "happy" gay.

Flurrie: Yes. A tenacious resilient adventure to collect magnificent jewels? How astonishing! It sure makes me all fuzzy just thinking about it.

Flurrie Farted.

Goombella: Please dont... Ehh... fuck it... I'm too high to really give a shit...

Koops: Wow Flurrie! This sure is some good weed! Where do you get your fix?

Flurrie: Well deary, the Punies grow a weed farm inside their tree... Its actually pretty neat since the Boggly Woods has great seeds and soil for great trees and marijuana, we're able to grow some high quality magnificent weed... I like to partake in it for porno ideas...

Goombella: Hey... I have to ask, what kind of name is Flurrie exactly? Is that your real name or just some slutty porno name?

Mario: Yeah... It sounds like 1 of those ridiculous black woman names like "Fierce", or "Tiara", or "Sheniqua", or "Tyra", or "Champagne", or "Crystal", or "Hope", or "Latifah", or "Kesha", or "La'Trice", or "Mystique", or...

Punio: Wow Mario. You sure are going to town with those black girl names... Led Cumshot Led Cumshot Led Cumshot.

Mario: Yeah. 1ce I start, it's hard to stop.

Flurrie: Well my real name is "Claudette." Folks started calling me "Flurrie" since I reek of how you say... vaginal snowflake like dandruff...

Mario: That's some hot shit right there. You know Flurrie... I like you and the rest of you guys alot better when I'm stoned... especially you Punio. But I should warn you. 1ce I sober up, I will go back to hating you again.

Punio: Ahh tsall guud... Pussy Acne! Pussy Acne! Pussy Acne!

Koops: So does that mean Flurrie is uhh...

Koops whispers in Goombella's ear

Koops: black...?

Goombella: She said that was her porn name dude...

Koops: Oh right. Sorry... I totally spaced out for a second.

Goombella: Wait... What if she was black? You mean that like... would that actually like... bother you?

Koops: What? No... uhh... It's just that she kind of looks like Queen Latifah and uhh... I dont know...

Goombella:...

Koops: I mean... I've never seen a single black person in my life, so I'm a little nervous to talk to them...

Goombella: So you're like, racist then?

Koops: What? No! I mean, I've just never seen them before in person. Only on TV and they just seem... uuuuuhhhhh...

Goombella: Seem...

Koops: ... Uhh... hehe... Nevermind. I forgot what we were talking about already... I'm that high.

Goombella: Sure. Whatever. So Mario, how were you able to use that dedly star earlier in that battle? When I got frozen, I could see you use it, but I didn't hear anything...

Mario: Oh. I'm pretty high right now so its a little hard for me to remember what I did exactly... hmmm. I remember holding it up... and holding it up... and ...fuck... what else?... Oh yeah! I think it started glowing when I started yelling at it.

Punio: Whoa man. Do you think those things respond to your emotions or something? Cause like, that'd be pretty cool... HAGGIS HAGGIS HAGGIS

Goombella: You know... I never thought about it, but from what I heard from *snickering* Hookertail... and that Bedlam bitch or whatever her name is... that star is called "The Star of Wrath." So maybe there's a reason why it's called that besides sounding edgy for the sake of being edgy. Maybe it's called that because it responds to Wrath!

Punio: But wait... How come it didn't activate when Mario destroyed Flurries stuff earlier? JewTube JewTube JewTube!

Mario: Probably cause I wasn't holding it up or something... Thats the only logical idea I can pull out of my ass right now...

Koops: Hey Goombella! I wasn't being racist! I was just saying I'm just nervous thats all. Thats not racist...

Goombella: We... changed subjects awhile ago... Koops. Come on, don't kill our buzz...

Koops: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! TELEVISION CORRUPTED ME! I'M A VICTIM.

Mario: No 1 cares... seriously.

Koops: Aww man...

Koops: Uhh... so what, we have 4 members of the M- I mean... Team M, and so... There's Goombella, Mario, ... Punio? Oh nevermind... he didn't do the initiation thing...

Punio: Fuck you.

Koops: So wait... its me, Mario, Goombella, Flurrie, and uhh... is that it? Thats 4?

Goombella: Technically, I would say 5.

Mario: Who's the 5th?

Goombella: Uhh... Professor Frankly...DUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!

Mario: Ehh... would you really count him though. It's not like he comes with us.

Goombella: Well come on He's the professor! Hes gets to stay.

Koops: I think you're both right.

Goombella: No. Only 1 of us can be. So like on Futurama, you're saying that Professor Farnsworth would not be a part of the Planet Express crew because he doesn't come with on the Planet Express deliveries?

Koops: Good point.

Mario: Yeah but that's different. Hes the boss of Planet Express. I'm the boss of Team M and clearly I'm on the fucking adventures.

Goombella: lol, I bet you never even had an initiation mode for that.

Mario: Thats because I'm the leader. Every time it says "so and so has joined your party," they're talking about MY party! So.

Koops: Guys?

Mario and Goombella: What?

Koops: Uhh... Is Flurrie okay?

Flurrie was tensed out in an unconscious stage of euphoria while floating. Her pupils are rolled up into her head with a creepy smile with tons of saliva pouring out of her mouth. She looked like she was oddly out cold from smoking all that weed.

Goombella: Eww... why is she like that?

Mario: So like, shes ded?

Punio: She's in off mode guys. She gets like that after smoking some good ol' ganga. Pode Chony Pode Chony Pode Chony!

Goombella: Wow... that doesn't seem normal... So you sure she's like, fine?

Punio: Ahh shes alright. This actually helps her with writing porno when she gets like this. Dick Weed Dick Weed Dick Weed.

Mario: So how long is this gonna take for her to unwind?

Punio: Oh... About 8 hours... Titty Fuck Titty Fuck Titty Fuck

Mario, Goombella, and Koops: 8 HOURS!?

Punio: Yeah... I probably should have remembered that shouldn't I have? Uterus Tickler Uterus Tickler Uterus Tickler!

Goombella: We don't have that kind of time!

Mario: Isn't there any way we can just go without her?

Punio: We can't. We need her to get to that tiny hole short cut... Sex on the Beach Sex on the Beach Sex on the Beach!

Mario: Ahh fuck... Well... What do we do to kill 8 hours?

Punio: Uhh... Who's up for Monopoly?

Koops: I am!

Goombella: I'm down.

Mario: Sure. Why the fuck not.

Koops: Do you have the Mario Edition?

After their 6 hour long Strip Monopoly session, they dragged Flurrie's unconscious body outside of her house. They dragged her down the Boggly path smearing her absurd make up and covering her in dirt. They spent the remainder of time waiting for Flurrie to wake up.

Goombella: Koops! Stop poking Flurries breasts with a stick!

Koops: I can't help it. They're just so... wierd!

Goombella: Just give me the stick Koops.

Koops: Fine...

Koops gave Goombella the stick only for her to whack him with it.

Koops: Hey!

Mario: Haha! Nice 1!

Punio: Guys! I think she's waking up! Dr. Blowjob Dr. Blowjob Dr. Blowjob!

Flurrie began to wake up.

Flurrie: Uuhhhh... How long was I out?

Punio: About 8 hours. Wipe Better! Wipe Better! Wipe Better!

Flurrie: Same old same old huh? Did any of you have your way with me while I was out cold?

Everyone else: NO!

Flurrie: Your losses...

Punio: Right... so we still need you to open the secret path with your majical... wind... *sigh*... powers. RIP ASS! RIP ASS! RIP ASS!

Flurrie: Say no more sweetie! I'm on it! Rootin tootin'!

Goombella: Please don't ever say that again.

Flurrie began to hover far away from the tree for who knows what reason.

Koops: So does she... know where the entrance is?

Mario: And why is she flying that far away from the tree?

Punio: Oh shit! I forgot to tell her where the-

Flurrie used her ass wind from a far. It was so powerful, it started to blow the entire tree back a little like some kind of category 5 hurricane. Not only did it unveil the secret passage, but it blew away all of the leaves along with being strong enough of a force to almost blow away the rest of them. They survived by grabbing onto dear life to random parts of the tree.

Flurrie then flew back feeling an unnecessary sense of accomplishment.

Flurrie: I sure did a marvelous job didn't I?

Goombella: Jesus Fuck Flurrie! You almost killed us with that smelly ass attack!

Punio: Yeah! You didn't need to take it THAT far! 69 69 69!

Koops: Ehh... it smells too.

Mario: That was like an Eddie Murphy Big Momma Movie only 10,000 times worse!

Flurrie: Why thank you for the applause gentlemen!

Goombella: I really can't tell if you're being sarcastic or if your head is that far up your ass.

Punio: GUYS! Look! Theres the secret path! Dad's Penis! Dad's Penis! Dad's Penis!

Punio pointed to the tiny hole above the door.

Mario: And... how are we all supposed to fit through there?

Punio: BY DROPPING SOME WEIGHT YOU FAT ASS! FAT ASS! FAT ASS! FAT ASS!

Mario: I will stab you...

Punio: Hang on, let me see if I can find a way to open the door from the inside... Oderus Urungus Oderus Urungus Oderus Urungus.

Punio crawled up the tree reaching inside the tiny little tree hole like a hamster up a Frat Boy's asshole.

Flurrie: So Mario...Since you are my biggest fan, I must ask, which films of mine would you say were my best?

Mario: Well... I like Boos n' Boobs 4, Cloudy with a Chance of Cumshots, Fecal Fillatio, Cunt Destroyer 7, Butthole Surferz, Necropedophiles, Krazy Kentucky Klondike Bar, Donkey Punch Cuntry was alright, but that was like 90s Flurrie you know what I mean? Uhh... lets see... I also like Angry Red Pirate Dragons from Space, Big Butt Bandits 3, Jugs from Jupiter. Jugs from Jupiters a classic sci fi porn. It actually inspired alot of other great porn sci fis. Mostly cheap knock offs of it.

Koops: Wow! I never knew porn had such crazy names!

Goombella: Yeah. Who the fuck comes up with this shit?

That red metal door suddenly opened with Punio exiting.

Punio: Yeah! I did it! I opened the door! Maybe I'm not such a piece of shit after all huh! Dick Nixon! Dick Nixon! Dick Nixon!

Flurrie: You mean with the help of me! Flurrie...

Goombella: We get it... You're full of yourself...

Mario: Yeah she is. Now lets kick some I forget their name's asses!

Koops: Yeah! We'll make them eat their underwear!

Mario: *sigh* God damnit Koops...

Chapture 3 - 11: Inglorious Mother-Fuckers

[The Great Tree of Might]

Mario and company at long last made it through the tree of might. Heres a visual description. White scattered bushes, black branches partially covering a glass like wall of water flowing through the tree possibly sucking up the water from an even lower view. The visuals are yet again, too complicated to describe. Like the original Tree of Might from that anime you all know and love, it's size appears to be somewhat environmentally dangerous right now. But that's not important right now! Nor ever.

Meanwhile, as soon as they entered, they were encountered by 2 X-Nauts waiting for them at the door.

X-Naut #24: Stop at 1ce trespassers!

X-Naut #21: Wait a minute! How did they go through that doors!

X-Naut #24: That small grey thing some how found a shortcut and let them through the door! Come on! Stop being slow!

Goombella: Punio, did you know there were X-Nauts chasing after you!?

Punio: Uhhh... shit... I forgot about them... Nipplord Nipplord Nipplord!

Goombella: How the fuck did you forget that!?

X-Naut #21: Wait a sec! Thats Mario over there! MARIO! HI! I'm you're biggest fan! I've been a HUGE fan of your Famicom games since 1981! I have a collection of all of your games, every VHS, DVD, and Bootleg of all of your shows, every poster and plushie erotic and non erotic, every sound track CD, every issue of Super Mario Kun, I even learned how to fucking type from Mario Teaches Typing! Oh and Hotel Mario!

X-Naut #24: Alright! Alright! We get it! You love Mario! Incase you haven't noticed, HE'S the guy were trying to stop from foiling our plans!

X-Naut #21: Really!? I thought we were talking about a different Mario!

X-Naut #24: Of course not! You mean you didn't connects it together when we captured Peach? Why else would he be here?

X-Naut #21: I thought it was a coincidence.

X-Naut #24: Besides, this is the only person in this universe named "Mario!" Why I don't even think it's his real name it sounds so fake!

Mario: Uhh... yeah. You guys are fucking retarded.

X-Naut #21: Holy shit! Mario just called us fucking retarded! This is SO AWESOME! Can I get your autograph!

X-Naut #24: Quit fangasming 21! Lets just uhhh... BEAT THEM UP!

X-Naut #21: Beat them up!? Dude, I thought we were supposed to let Robotnik know IMMEDIATELY if we found Mario?

X-Naut #24: You doofus! if we capture him, we'll be the 1s to get all the credit. We may even get a 50 Dollar gift certificate to Gamestop!

X-Naut #21: Oh yeah! Liek, right on! lets rock and roll!

Mario: Why do you have to say that line?

X-Naut #21 & 24: 1, 2, 3, ...BOOYAH!

Mario: And that line...

[BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 20/30

Goombella: Power Level 9/18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

FP: 7/10

V.S.

X-Naut #21: Power Level 10

X-Naut #24: Power Level 10

[TURN 1]

Goombella uses tattle: These are X-Nauts if you remember... They are foot soldier that use butt ramming and occasionally throw meth ingredients at you. X-Nauts are also the lowest of Grodus' underlings as they only have a power level of 10.

Mario: Who the fuck is Grodus?

Goombella: I don't know! Its just a name that was mentioned...

X-Naut #24: Yeah! Grodus is the name of our leader! Hes a dick!

X-Naut #21: Dude! Don't give away the name of the leader! The henchmen aren't supposed to do that!

X-Naut #24: Oh crap! You're right!

Mario: Okay. Lets kick some X-Nazi ass!

Mario uses Power Smash on X-Naut 21 knocking him out cold bleeding alot: [4 Damage]

X-Nauts #24: Jesus Christ! I think you gave him some major hemorrhage with that! Don't you think that was a little extreme there buddy?

Mario: Extreme is my middle name asshole! ... Actually its Gonzales. Mario Gonzales Mario.

X-Nauts #24: See! Now you're name sounds even more fake! And seriously, don't you know anything. Now that we know your last name, we can go after your family now.

Mario: Dude, fuck my family... seriously.

X-Nauts #24: Dude... thats pretty dark... Whatever. We're gonna pwn you anyway!

X-Nauts #24 uses butt ramm at Mario resulting in Mario countering with kicking his ass: [-1 Damage]

X-Nauts #24: Oww! right in my ass! I'm gonna need to have 21 check it for bruises later!

[TURN 2]

Goombella uses helmet butt on 24: [2 Damage]

X-Nauts #24: Oww! Watch it! That hurt fuck face!

Mario walked up to him getting really close up to his face and said in a soft quick tone.

Mario: boo.

X-Nauts #24: Uhh... Wuhhhh... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJ!

X-Nauts #24 picked up the unconscious 21 and ran off like a child running away from Michael Jackson in a slumber party.

[LEVEL UP]

Mario leveled up to 6 raising his power level to 40.

[END OF BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Pfftt... I always wanted to do that. Man are these guys fucking pussies or what?

Punio: That battle was awesome guys! Luberate Luberate Luberate!

Mario: I think the battle with the shadow bitches was better today... or was that yesterday... We were playing Monopoly for quiet awhile.

Koops: Yeah. Good thing you got really pissed off at going to jail so much that you flipped the board.

They all started to notice some other Punies bashfully popping out from the Puni statues in the background I forgot to mention. Holy shit! They really are an entire species! I was starting to think Punio was the only fucking Puni. It appeared to have yellow ball lights on their antennas instead of green like Punio's.

Punio: Hey! Punies!

The Punies continued to hide poorly behind the statues with their obscure looking antennas popping out.

Punio: DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU FUCKERS! Cucktails! Cucktails! Cucktails!

The Punies all exited from their hiding places.

Punathan (Age12): Aww man... You ruined our game of hide and seek! I was gonna win...

Punio: This is no time to play hide and seek when our tree is being invaded! Asstits Asstits Asstits.

Punoa (Age 16): Leave it to Punio to ruin a perfectly good game of hide and seek as a final hoorah. RIght fellas?

The rest of the Punies: YEAH!

Punio: Well... whatever. I brought these strange heroes to our tree known as "The M Team".

Mario: Were "Team M" now.

Puneesy (Age 15): That's so gay.

Puniko (Age 17): I didn't expect them all to be so big.

Puneesy: Like, there so fat too...

Mario: Hey. Suck the hairiest part of the hairiest part of my ass.

Puneesy: Oh please... I'm amazed you didn't need a construction machine to lift these fatties out of here.

Goombella: Hey! Watch it bitch!

Flurrie: Oh my... such applause.

Mario: K. Thats it!

Mario grabbed that bitchy female Puni by the antenna and violently chucked her at a wall making her violently splatter.

Koops: Holy shit Mario!

Punio: It's okay. She's kind of a bitch anyway. Pubic Transformers! Pubic Transformers! Pubic Transformers!

Punio: Oh yeah. Let me formally introduce everyone! This is Madame Flurrie. You guys know her already sadly. This is Koops. He's kind of slow and off so don't be friends with him or anything.

Koops: Aww...

Punio: This is Goombella. She's uhh... I'm too nervous to talk about her so... And this is Mario. He's the fat Italian plumber looking guy with the red hat.

Mario: I'm gonna chuck you at the wall too asshole!

A fat Cartman like Puni with an orange glowing ball emerged out of no where.

Puniper (Age 19): Yeah yeah... We all know who Mario is... We played his games and they suck. I'd rather play COD any day.

Goombella: Wow. You're cool...

Punio: This is Puniper. He's the fatass of all the Punies. Anal cavity Anal cavity Anal cavity

Puniko: He's almost as fat as your friends!

Puniper: AIY! I'M NOT FAT GOD DAMNIT! I'm Big boned...

Punio: So how did you get out of Puni jail this time? I thought you got arrested for assaulting a Gamestop employee over Grand Theft Auto V. I assumed that the X-Nauts henchmen would have left you in your cell. Jipsy Discharge Jipsy Discharge Jipsy Discharge.

Puniper: Welp hehe... Its a pretty funny story. When the X-Naut guard tried trolling me by calling me a fat pothead burnout, I followed that by psychoanalyzing him so hard that I could convinced him that he is a worthless guard who got raped by his grandma which made him want to be a guard. He believed that his life was a paradox so he let me go then he jumped off the Great Tree of Might.

Koops: Damn. Thats kind of intense.

Puniper: Yes. I'm a mastermind of some sorts. But on to real matters at hand, listen here tourettes boy. Realistically, these Team M fucks aren't gonna be able to take down 10,000 fucking X-Nauts. Thats just insane is what it is. Besides, how do you know that these guys aren't working for the X-Nauts in cognito? I doubt that's even the real Mario. The real Mario was never that fat and old. For all you know, this guy could just be some cheap cosplayer from New Jersey.

Punio: Shut up asshole. Maybe if we all fight along side with Mario, we can beat them! El Duce El Duce El Duce!

Puniper: Well said by the tourettes tweak with the big bad ego! Lets not forget that YOU left us stranded while we had to suffer at the hands of the X-Nazis putting us in Puni auschwitz camps. You sure as hell aint no fighter that's for sure. Luckily they couldn't capture just all of us.

Goombella: Are we supposed to say anything Mario?

Mario: Nah. Let them duke it out.

Punio: I bet you're wrong Puniper. I bet we can save them if we all work together! Dickhut Dickhut Dickhut!

Puniper: Okay since it seems like you lack an ability to comprehend basic math, I'll explain to you why your logic is full of shit. There are 10,000 X Nauts, and there are 16 of us. 12 of those 16 are Punies, and 1 of these 12 Punies happened to get killed by the Mario cosplayer not long ago.

Mario: Heh. He thinks I'm a fucking cosplayer. What a dipshit.

Puniper: Do you fucks even know why they've been invading us...

Punio: Yeah. They want our dedly star! Dipshit! Dipshit! Dipshit! Those 3 I meant to say.

Puniper: No retard! They have us captured because they're ASSHOLES! Also, the Jabbis decided to team up with them cause they're fucking dicks. They chew up Puni's, eat them alive, and use our corpses as nests for their eggs ironically. So thats like, 10,110 of them now!

Flurrie: Oh dear...

Punio: We have a good chance to do it! I mean, we've made it this far right? We took out 2 of them so that makes 10,108 of them left! Infected Hyman Infected Hyman Infected Hyman.

Puniper: Punio, Punio, Punio... The only thing you have convinced me of is that I think you're a stupid retard! You're absolutely out of your mind insane. Your tourettes make you sound enough like a crazy asshole alone, but still.

Punio: We'll fine. If you're fat ass is pretentious enough to wait to die, you can so go fuck yourself. The rest of us are gonna work to get our tree back! Feel free to let us know when you're ready to help. And that goes for the rest of you. Lets go guys! Limp Bizkit! Limp Bizkit! Limp Bizkit!

Punio and the rest of Team M took off to save Punies and Fight X-Nazis.

Puniper: You know what? Screw you guys, I'm gonna go masterbate to my favorite band Dream Theater while I jizz in the sink.

The 5 strange characters soon traveled through a few warp pipes upward through the big ass tree easily making it to the prison cells containing the other Punies. Fortunately for them, most of the X-Nauts just finished watching the movie Fight Club so they got really impressive as they congregated in a random part of the tree and took off their shirts and senselessly fought each other for no reason.

They saw the Elder was trapped in a red cell separate from the other 90 Punies trapped in the blue cell next to them.

Punio: Oh my god! Elder! What have they done to you!? Yeti Balls Yeti Balls Yeti Balls

The elder Puni just woke up after having some old people sleeping time.

Elder Puni (Age 68): Punio... Is that you?

Mario: What the fuck? Why is there so many fucking old people in this story so far.

Goombella: Why is that such a bad thing?

Mario: It's just fucking annoying thats all. Lets see, you got Professor Frankly, Podley, Mayor Kroop, Kammy Koop- wait, she didn't appear to us yet... uhh... who else? Oh. That Beldam bitch looked pretty fucking old. Oh! And Toadsworth even though he's from other games, and now this fucking characters. I swear, I'm gonna shoot some1.

Flurrie: Well, people are gonna be old sweetie.

Mario: Shut up! You're old as fuck too!

Elder Puni: Punio, do you have my prune juice?

Punio: Wait... when was I supposed to get prune juice? Drilldo Drilldo Drilldo

The old saggy female Puni with the purple ball on antenna began feeling deeply offended!

Elder Puni: SEVERAL DAYS AGO YOU TWIT! I Can't believe you would forget such a simple task! Great... because of you, I'm probably gonna fucking die because some spoiled brat being YOU forgot my fucking prune juice.

Mario: Ha! Your alive?

Goombella: Shut up Mario.

Mario: Suck my dick bitch.

Punio: Well uhh... 1000 pardons then. I don't remember you asking for prune juice personally. Asshair fairy Asshair fairy Asshair fairy.

Elder Puni: Shut your mouth twerp! Not only have you let down your elder, but you also single handedly let down our Puni Race! Shame on you!

Punio: But-

Elder Puni: No! I am deeply offended by this. And so are the rest of the Punies. Just look at them!

The rest of the trapped Punies shouted from the other prison cell next to the Elder.

All the other Punies: YEAH!

A young female Puni with a pink ball antenna thing cried at Punio.

Petuni (Age 11): Punio!

Punio: Petuni! Are you okay!? Chipotlai Chipotlai Chipotlai

Petuni: Oh its awful. The X-Nauts have been using us for labor against our will. But not in the way that you think! They've been making us do things! Unspeakable things! Mostly they use us as tissues, soap bars, toilet paper, anal beads, some times anal bead toilet paper if that's even a thing, they've been practice kissing us to hopelessly try to get with their favorite celebrities as girlfriends! They even tie us down to force us to watch them masterbate while they passive aggressively yell at people they still hate from high school.

Petuni: That's not even the worst part! How could you screw us over big brother! Not getting the Elder her prune juice!? She could die! I used to respect and love you, but now, I just don't know you anymore!

Punio: Why are you all so hung up for stupid fucking prune juice when you all are locked up in prison cells! They've made you guys do countless shameful sexual acts, and all you fucks care about is the fucking prune juice. How about I just not find a way to open the cages and let you all rot insted? Ass Pants Ass Pants Ass Pants.

Mario: YES! THANK YOU! Lets focus on the actual story and get the fucking star already!

Elder Puni: Punio, if that is the case, you really have no shame I see.

Petuni: Yeah! I can't believe you would turn your back on us, your own family. All over you not being able to handle being told your mistakes.

Punio: ... Well... I guess if you put things that way, maybe I was a bit in over my head there... we'll get you out of Puni Jail before they start using you guys as fleshlights. Down Syndrome Down Syndrome Down Syndrome!

Elder Puni: I will still smack you when you free us...

Punio: YEAH WHATEVER FUCK YOU!

As the 5 of the heroes walked to the next room in hopes to find the keys to the cells, Mario began to address his partners with a reasonable point.

Mario: Guys... I thought this story was called "Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama!" not "Who gives a shit about fucking Punio aka "Mario" rip off name." Why are we focusing on these dipshits?

Goombella: I think its just a part of the big story.

Mario: It sounds like dumb shit that if I was reading I would skip cause I'm reading this to hear about numero uno! ME!

Mario stated his arrogant point with an even more pretentious poses with his thumbs pointing at himself giving a gross Italian grin.

Koops: Gee... Thats sounds kind of harsh...

Mario: Lick my taint Koops…. Lick my fucking taint.

In the room next to the prison cell, the X-Naut got bored of being a prison guard for the Punies and instead of doing his fucking job, he just sat around pantsless fingering his own asshole to see if he can have an orgasm through his own prostate. He ended up shitting on the floor instead of orgasming.

X-Naut #69: Man... That was brutal. How much longer 'til I find that G Spot in my asshole!? Not even those puny Punies we captured know anything about it. And they crawl in butts! After all this pointless searching, I'm thinking I'm looking in the wrong place…

The perverted X-Naut got in a crawling position and started smelling his own shit out of curiosity.

Immediately as this shit was happening. Ms. Mowz makes her 2nd appearance out of the shadows and into the series and bashes the foolish X-Naut on the back of his head with her shoe. It knocked him out hard enough to make him unconscious. Oh yeah. His face landed in his butt pudding.

Mario and company barged through the door with Mario's usual hammer maneuver running into Ms. Mowz a 2nd time.

Ms. Mowz: Long time no see my slender sleightletts...

Goombella: Oh great, look everyone. Ms. Slutfacebitch everyone!

Koops: Hey Ms. Mowz! Remember me? heh...

Ms. Mowz: Ehh... yeah... So Mario my Masculine Maasdam, I see you have some new friends.

Flurrie: Hands off Mario! Hes mine darling!

Mario: Eww fuck off Flurrie! Nobody wants your saggy veiny globs you call tits!

Ms. Mowz: Flurrie? Well why does that name seem familiar... Wait! You're that famous pornstar! I've looked up to you since I was 6.

Koops: Uhh... You watched porn at 6? Wow... What did your mom think?

Flurrie: Oh please... reach for the stars all you want sweety, but no 1 will shine as bright as me... Flurrie...

Goombella: Will both of you bitches just eat shit and die right now.

Mario: Shut up all of you ugly ass characters!

Mario: So you! Mouse thing, are you here to suck my dick again.

Goombella: That never happened...

Mario: Really? I thought that happened last chapture?

Goombella: No. You 2 just made out and it was gross as fuck...

Mario: Ah damn. Well just incase,

Mario pulled down his overalls and not underware due to his ability of going commando.

He then raised his arms up as if he was a wrestling character.

Goombella: Mario! STOP! FUCKING! STRIPPING!

Flurrie: My Myyy...

Koops: Oh... Should I-

Koops began to pull down his pants as well.

Goombella: Stop at 1ce Koops!

Koops: Ahh gee whiz...

Ms. Mowz: Thanks for the proposal but I'm here for some badges I can sell at my badge shop- I MEAN... See if I can make drugs out of! I've ran into more trouble than I expected with these X-Nantais' or whatever, so... yeah. I'm here sweetie. And as for your Erect Ricotta, I'll gladly take a few nibbles...

Ms. Mowz walked passionately towards Mario.

Ms. Mowz: I'll try to bite…

Ms. Mowz pulled Mario's cock genty out of his briefs and quickly started sucking his dick like a champion. She even nibbled on it a bit which surprisingly felt really good for Mario.

Goombella began to freak out and started to tear up a bit.

Goombella: EWW! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME- I MEAN, OH GOD OH THE HUMANITY.

Flurrie: Oooooo... Now that's what I call a fine lubinsky...

Koops: What smells like doody?

Due to Ms. Mowz's amazing blow job, Mario was able to cum in her mouth in like, 10 seconds.

Ms. Mowz: Mmmmm... cheesy...

Goombella: WHAT!?

Mario: Wow! That was the most amazing dick suck evah! I've never thought I would enjoy such a dick suck with that much teeth! You really know how to bite my dick in just the right places!

Ms. Mowz: Thanks... Its what I do best.

Koops: Ah man... can I have a turn...?

Ms. Mowz: Sorry sweet cheese, I must get off now! Tata…

Ms. Mowz jumped out the weirdly shaped window surviving another 200 story fall for ninja reasons.

Goombella: Why can't she just fucking fall to her deth already!?

Mario: You're just jealous that you don't got no dick for her to suck.

Flurrie: I can do you a little favor like that Goombella...

Goombella: I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF!

The X-Naut from earlier that got knocked the fuck out by Ms. Mowz that landed in his own diarrhea started to get back up. While still not wearing any pants.

X-Naut #69: X-Naut: Urgh, my aching…

The X-Naut wiped the shit off his face with his hands only to see that his face landed in his own shit.

Koops: Oh! So thats what that smell is!

X-Naut #69: NOOO! MY FACE IS COVERED IN SHIT! My I'm gonna get acne just in time before X-Naut Prom night! Some1s gonn have to pay for this!

X-Naut #69: YOU!

The X-Naut pointed at Mario as he was picking his ears for wax.

Mario: Oh hey shitface! What up!?

X-Naut #69: You're the dickbag who knocked me out weren't you!?

Mario: Uhh... Who the fuck are you?

Goombella: And where the fuck is your pants!?

Mario rolled a chunk of his ear wax into a ball with his fingers and flicked it at the X-Naut's eye.

X-Naut #69: Ahh! You uncle fucker! I will destroy you and reign supreme over your wop ass!

Mario: Oh hell no! Nobody calls me that and gets away with it!

Goombella: But people already have Mario.

Mario: Shut up! I know my points! Everyone! Into your Team M ass kicking positions and lets fuck this nigga up!

Goombella: Why does he have to be an N word?

Mario: BECAUSE ITS FUNNY!

[BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 40

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

FP: 10/10

V.S.

X-Naut #69 (Pantsless): Power Level 10

Yux: Power Level 6

[TURN 1]

Mario: What the fuck is a Yux? And where did it come from? It sounds like some dumb shit made my Dr. Seuss after he injected heroin into his balls for inspiration.

Goombella: I'll just explain with my tattle since the author never did.

Goombella uses tattle: This is a Yux. They're pretty much these pathetically ugly green "X" shaped robot D-Pad looking creatures that were created in the X-Naut laboratories. They almost look like 1 of my fan made Pokemon characters I made when I was 8.

Mario: So when they created them, they said "yuck" because they're ugly so they named them Yux? Why can't they just make better creations if they didn't like that shit?

Goombella: I don't know. Their whole regime is pretty retarded all together.

Mario: Whatever.

Mario uses power smash on X-Naut #69 giving him a severe heart attack thus killing him: [4 Damage]

Mario: Haha you died!

Yux uses generic anime ring blast move on Mario [2 Damage]

Yux generates a generic mini Yux forming a generic fucking transparent anime shield around themselves.

[TURN 2]

Mario: That thing can fucking give birth!?

Goombella: Yeah... At this point, I can't tell if they're robots, bio creatures or both.

Goombella uses tattle: These are Mini Yux. Small triangular looking things that can form a shield around their master. They have a power level of 1 cause they don't attack at all so they're weak as fuck.

Koops: Hey! Why don't I ever get a turn?

Goombella: Cause my tattles are way more important than what any of you can comprehend!

Koops: Aww shucks! Mario! Can you put me in the battle?

Mario: Uhh... sure... FLURRIE! Your up!

Koops: WHAT!?

Flurrie: Oh my my...

Mario: Haha! Asshole...

Flurrie traded places with Goombella.

The Yux did the same shit as last time from the last 2 moves only it regenerates another Mini Yux: [2 Damage]

[TURN 3]

Mario uses multi jump to eliminate all of the mini Yux: [1 Damage All]

Flurrie uses boob blast on Yux: [2 Damage]

Yux uses ring blast on Flurrie and generates another mini yux. [2 Damage]

[TURN 4]

Mario: Why the fuck is it taking this long to kill this weak cunt!?

Mario uses minor jump attack on Mini Yux: [2 Damage]

Flurrie uses boob blast on Yux thus exploding it without actually hurting Flurrie due to her massive outdated boobs: [2 Damage]

[END OF BATTLE]

Flurrie: My my... we sure bumpugliesed with those thing didn't we?

Mario: We sure did my fat ugly porn partner!

Goombella: Wait... didn't we come here looking for a key? Where is it?

Punio: I know! cock jugglers cock jugglers cock jugglers.

Punio crawled up the ded X-Naut's asshole some how knowing thats where the key would be lodged up in. In his ass.

After 1 minute, the bizarre Puni successfully crawled out holding the key in his mouth. Also he appears to be coated in X-Naut shit... and blood... and semen...

Koops: Whoa! How did you know it would be there!?

Punio: I have some crazy instincts! Devontae Devontae Devontae!

Mario: Well yeah. I would have done the same thing...

Flurrie: Me as well... Shall we get going?

Punio: Yeah sure. Gaylord Gaylord Gaylord.

Koops: Hey Goombella? You mentioned stuff about making fictional Pokemon characters? Wanna hear about some of my fan made Pokemo-

Goombella: Settle down Koops.

Koops: Aww shucks...

Chapture 3 - 12: Punies Piss me off

The team of 4 and Punio (who still will never be a Team M member) made it back into the prison room with the Punies still left inside.

Mario tied using the red key to open the blue cell.

Mario: Why the fuck is this not working!? This adventure is really starting to piss me off.

Various Punies in the blue cell started yelling and bitching at Mario to let them out.

Punies: Help! Save us already! Save us! What are you waiting for!? Save us already!? What are you doing? Save us!? SAVE US!?

Mario: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH YOU LITTLE GREY FUCKING ABORTIONS BLABBERING!

Mario frustratingly skull bashed his head on the blue bars causing his head to bleed.

Goombella: Uhh... Mario?

Mario: I MEANT TO DO THAT! WHAT!?

Goombella: Uhh... maybe its not working because you're opening the blue cell with the red key.

Mario: Yeah so?

Goombella: So try matching the colors by putting the red key in the red cell.

Koops: Hey! Thats a good idea!

Mario: Pfft... fine.

Punio: I will never understand how you've managed to save the Princess in as many games as you did. Thunder Cunt Thunder Cunt Thunder Cunt

Mario: I do it by fucking you in the ass!

Mario this time successfully opened the red cage containing the Elder Puni.

Mario: Oh... the colors are supposed to match. Well thats gay.

Punio: Elder Puni! Your free! Burning Urethra Burning Urethra Burning Urethra

Elder Puni smacked Punio with her (Yes. Its a she) bulb antenna thing. A tough elders gotta be tough I guess.

According to the game, she also grew the size of a bull for her outrageous burst.

Elder Puni: YOU'RE A FOOLISH FUCK! YOU KNOW THAT!?

Punio: Oh come on! Is this about the prune juice again!? Loonatics Unleashed Sucks Loonatics Unleashed Sucks Loonatics Unleashed Sucks!

Elder Puni shrunk down cause she (Yes. Its a she) was not so mad.

Elder Puni: Sit down...

Punio: Uhh...

Elder Puni: Have a seat. Right over there?

Punio: Uhh... where? Condumbs Condumbs Condumbs

Elder Puni: JUST SIT DOWN RETARD!

Punio sat down on the floor with shame. Lots of shame.

Elder Puni: Punio Punio Punio... You know, this goes almost as deep as the Prune Juice... What you just did was abandon your family including your sister. Your ded parents would not have wanted you to do that... It only adds on to the list of absolutely shameful things about your sorry ass...

Punio: But Elder... I was looking for help so I could rescue you and everyone e-

Elder Puni: Button your trap you little shit!

Goombella: To be fair if I were to interrupt, Punio did do the smarter thing by looking for help rather than if he himself were to get captured along with the rest of you. Then how you were able to-

Elder Puni: Enough out of you tramp!

Goombella: Well fuck you too you old bitch!

Mario: Yeah... I'm gonna go for a smoke break till this shits over.

Koops: Oh wait! Can I bum a cigarette.

Mario: Shut up. You don't even smoke...

Koops: Oh yeah. I forgot

Mario: Besides. I dont really have any cigarettes. I'm just gonna stand around and think about boobs that AREN'T Flurries.

Puni: But Elde-

Elder Puni: Stop interrupting me! You should never interrupt anyone during mid-lecture!

Goombella: But that's all your doing you bitc-

Elder Puni: SILENCE! Any doo... Punio, you wonder why the other Punies call you "dumb fuck"all the time behind your back? Thats why. Cause you are a dumb fuck! The truth hurts doesn't it dumb fuck!

Koops: Golly… I'm starting to connect to this guy...

Flurrie: Hey Koops. Wanna Hand Job?

Koops: No thanks...

Elder Puni: You better stop being a dumb fuck Punio because you have to lead the Puni tribe 1 day.

Punio: Why me?

(Skip this lecture if you don't really care about Punio or any aspect of the Puni Story at all. I'm telling you)

Elder Puni: CAUSE I SAID SO! This is why you need to stop spacing out like a stoned autistic 5 year old watching Power Rangers! Now... first things first. You are a Puni. Not just any Puni, you have a green bulb. Green is my favorite color. Wanna know why? Do you know what color green represents? It represents being Caring, Encouraging, Sharing, Patient, and Relaxed. Let me tell you why you're none of those things! Okay... So you're far from caring. If you were caring, you would have remembered the FUCKING PRUNE JUICE YOU FUCK and you would have never abandoned us like a couple of grey turds in a punch bull. You're not even the least bit encouraging because you are the lowest class of puni. Nothing encouraging about that son. You think your sharing? You thought wrong. You wouldn't even share your ex-lax with me! I don't care If you were trying to "control" your diarrhea, they taste amazing! I almost considered giving you the award for being patient but "ERR!" You thought wrong! If you weren't interrupting me all the damn time like a politician, you would know a thing or 2 about being patient I take that very cripplingly personal any time some little shit decides to overthrow my speech with their worthless words. And ironically most of all, you don't want me to even get started on you being relaxed! You are not relaxed! I mean, you are so not relaxed! Not since they day you were born. You and your "tourette" syndrome as you call it. They way you're shouting profanity all the fucking time every fucking second. No 1 who has tourettes syndrome can ever be relaxed. I don't care if the 2 and 2 have nothing to do with each other! Its fucking retarded! Again, since you are none of those things, you cannot possibly be a decent leader since you are the single farthest thing from it as well. Its so ironic that you with a green bulb would not be a caring, encouraging, sharing, patient, and relaxed Puni. At the same time because of this, I believe that this irony is what makes me believe in you. Since crazy ironic things happen all the time from every single story of earth's history, you may have a chance with all of these things. Like for starters, if you actually took the time to read this entire lecture that is exclusively included in the uncut version, you may actually have a chance of being patient and that patience will help you achieve 1 of these 5 obstacles that are emotions. Now I better stop going on this long, dry, boring lecture before I make this series lose the few followers it has on FanFiction. ...or else! You got that? From now on, you've got to get your act together, Punio!

Everyone fell asleep midway through that boring ass lecture. Seriously, even the 90 Punies trapped in the blue cell fell asleep.

Punio: Oh what!? Oh... Yes, Elder. I understand. assballs assballs assballs

Mario: HA! No you don't! You fucking fell asleep just like the rest of us you fucking fagg-

Punio covered Mario's dumb mouth with his itty bitty hand.

Punio: Do not! Say! Another word! Do you want her (Yes. Its a she) to go on another long ass tangent!?

Elder Puni: Okay! Since none of you were listening! Now I have to give an even longer more dragging lecture than ever before. You see!

Everyone else: AAHHH!

A few hours later...

Elder Puni: And that is why Miyamoto fucking hates me!

Punio: Wow... that lecture was amazing...

Mario: CAN WE GO ALREADY!? THE TIP OF MY PENIS HAS BEEN IN AGONIZING PAIN LISTENING TO THIS FUCKING PUNI BACK STORY SHIT! NO 1 CARED WHEN THEY PLAYED 1000 YEAR DOOR, AND NO 1 CARES NOW READING 1000 YEAR DRAMA! LETS GO!

Punio: Okay... Petuni! Just you wait. I'll be right back for-

Mario: OH NO WE WONT!

The non imprisoned characters progressed to the lobby room where Punio can tell off the 10 pussy hiding Punies a thing or 2 Ah tel he hwat. Not as funny when it's typed out...

Puniper: Well well well, if it isn't the mighty Punio hmph!

Punio: Oh hey Puniper! Whats up? How was masterbating in the sink!? I bet you were staring at yourself in the mirror when you did it! Porch Monkey Porch Monkey Porch Monkey

Puniper: Well yes, but you forgot 1 thing! I stole mother's make up and pretend to be a submissive prostitute as I did it! Why did I just say that out loud!?

Puni started clapping his hands!

Punio: Bravo buddy... bravo! Anyhow, I brought the elder back. So what now!? Still don't think I can save the day bitch!? Superaids Superaids Superaids

Puniper: Mmmm... Don't get a swelled head!

Punio: Speaking of swelled, try looking in a mirror fatass! Oh wait. You just did! HAH! Jipsy Nazi Jipsy Nazi Jipsy Nazi

Puniper: I'M BIG BONED YOU STUPID JEW!

Punio: ... what?

Koops was distracted from this as he was looking up on his phone a photo of Maggie Simpson 69ing with Stewie Griffin while they were shitting.

Elder Puni: Say... Wait a second, I remember now! My prune juice... It was Puniper! You were the 1 who took my prune juice! Not Punio!

Puniper: Oh please what makes you think that I did it?

Punio: Yeah! What would a fat kid do with prune juice anyway? Illuminati Illuminati Illuminati.

Puniper: AHI! IM NOT FAT GOD DAMNIT!

Elder Puni: I remember cause I heard that heavy breathing sound that only fat people make regularly before you ran off. I thought it was Punio for no reason. Then it occurred to me that the puni doing it was having heavy breathing. The same kind that you have Puniper!

Puniper started to breath heavily.

Elder Puni: You stubborn mule! What were you thinking taking my prune juice! Don't you know I could die without it!?

Puniper: Well it was in the way so I threw it out.

Elder Puni grew into the size of a stubborn mule.

Elder Puni: YOU DID WHAT!?

Puniper: It was in the friggin' way all the time in the fridge!

Elder Puni: Yeah. MY fridge that I own! NOT for YOU to go RUBBISHING in!

Puniper: Who the hell needs prune juice anyway.

Elder Puni: Shut you mouth you little shit! How deplorable for you to talk like that.

Mario: What te fuck!? Can we get onto the real story!? NO 1 is reading this to listen to some fucking Puni Prune Juice fucking story! WERE! HERE TO READ ABOUT MY STORY! MY! FUCKING! STORY! I WILL SERIOUSLY START EXECUTING PUNIES IF THIS SHIT KEEPS GOING ON! Ich töte EUCH ALLEN VERMIN! Du hörst mich!? EUCH ALLEN VERMIN!

Flurrie: Oh dear...

Koops: What was that?

Goombella: Was that German you were speaking just there?

Mario: Uhh... I dont know... But to my point. This is my story! And all of you little shit kickers are gonna help me get the dedly star you people have trapped in here! If any of you oppose me, I will personally stomp on each and everyone of you! And it will amuse me!

Punio: Shut up Mario! This is my missio-

Mario: YOU SHUT UP FUCK FACE!

Koops: Uhh Mario... Don't you think thats a little harsh?

Mario: Fuck you Koops! I am Mario! Leader of Team M! And I am getting really sick of this bullshit! I mean, just who the fuck do these Punies think I am for fuck sakes!?

All the Punies started to tremble in fear as they were all attending Mario's speech.

Mario: Now, I don't know what you Punies are useful for other than being shoved up people's asses and being used as projectiles, but if you Punies got any "fuck you" spirit in you! You will temporarily join me to kick some X-Nazi ass, take back your shitty tree, collect my 2nd dedly star, and most importantly, NOT PISS ME OFF! So who's with me!?

Punio, Puniper, and the 9 other Punies besides Elder Puni: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!1

[11 Punies Joined your party for this chapture]

Mario raised his head in pride again while he crossed his shoulders like some kind of badass.

Mario: That's the fuck you spirit i'm talking about!

Flurrie: Oh what a sexy leader...

Goombella: Mario. That was the worst speech ever! How the fuck did that inspire all of those Punies?

Mario: Its pretty easy to put the fear of my foot in their asses into them. Its works better when I am far bigger and louder. I am 4 foot 3! I will do whatever it takes to fill the void of my disease that is compensation disorder! My size is the meir pilot of the machine that is my voice! And wow! That last part just sounded really gay just there! Damnit Koops! That sounded like something you would say!

Koops: Aww gee whizz...really?

Elder Puni: Well you all take care and save the rest of the Punies. As for me, I wont be joining you. Not only did you steal my leadership, but i'm old as fuck. I'll probably die if I join you for the time being.

Mario: Well thats good cause you talk too much anyway. Wait, why do we gotta save the rest of the puni fucks!?

Goombella: Well we're also trying to help save their race from the X-Naut torture.

Mario: They can nibble on my oversized pubes for all I care!

Goombella: Its the right thing to do!

Mario: Like I give a flying fuck! We got our own shit to worry about!

Elder Puni: Marty Mcfly! I think thats your name... You can't make it to the star without the rest of the Punies even if you wanted too.

Mario: What?

Elder Puni: You can't enter the deep basement of the tree containing the star without 100 Punies. The only way we can get that many is if we rescue the rest of them from the blue cell. You're gonna have to look around the tree to find the blue key if you wanna reach for the star successfully. In the mean time, you can enter some rooms just fine with just the help of 10 Punies. And it looks like you have... 37? 42? 1000? Gosh golly my visions going bad.

Goombella: It's 11...

Elder Puni: I KNEW THAT SLUT! Anyhow, the reason why you need a certain quantity of Punies to get through some rooms is because some of the puzzles and obstacles in this tree are only accessible through a weight scale of some sorts.

Mario and Koops: Huh?

Elder Puni: Before you head off, hears a sun orb. Don't ask why it makes sense. I had it lodged in a special secret place of mine for generations. I stole it from a museum some time ago for not letting me eat barbeque wings around the displays. Basically, for some reason, it only activates when you place it in a black stone mail box looking thing. 1ce you do it, it shines a bright light that compels the Punies to briefly form a sex orgy on top of the scale. 1ce you take it out, they'll stop and you still reach your destination.

Elder Puni handed the orb to Mario in a way where the orb slowly levitated for Mario to grabs. If this was an animation, this would be lazy as fuck looking. Like in the game itself.

Mario: Why does it smell like old fish?

Elder Puni: You don't wanna know...

Koops: So why didn't the X-Nauts know about the scales while they were infiltrating the tree?

Mario: Probably cause they're just a bunch of fucking retards.

Goombella: So are we! Well... not me, but you know, the rest of you!

Mario: Alright! So are we off now!?

Elder Puni: Oh wait! 1 more thing! If you lose any of the Punies. Your fucked. They'll die easily if they're isolated and will be eaten by some fucked up black and white creatures. You won't be able to make it through the scales, and you will be fucked. Plus I will personally hate you.

Mario: Good to know. So everyone! Lets go.

Elder Puni: Oh wait. 1 more thing. Do you have your lunch I made for you?

Mario: What?

Elder Puni: Oh sorry. Nevermind... I was getting a little... nostalgic.

Mario: So... Were off now?

Elder Puni: Yeah.

Mario: Alright fuckshits! Were off!

Team M and the Punies took off.

Elder Puni: Oh wait. 1 more thing!

Mario: DONT CARE!

Elder Puni: I love you...

Mario, the Punies, and the strange characters headed to a room with that obstacle the Elder Puni was talking about with the scale. Since it's a part of the main story, these obstacles should be kind of fun to narrate.

Punio: Hey everyone! Look! Its the scale the Elder Puni was talking about. Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.

Punio spotted a black and white marble stone structure of what appeared to be the scale as it contained a pad for things to be placed on it along with a number counter to indicate the amount of 10 Punies on the platform. Thats how a scale works for those of you who never go grocery shopping or drug dealing. It makes you wonder if the machine is powered by electricity or will power. Maybe the tree has something to do with it OH WHO KNOWS! Must every little thing in this game be ruined!? BY ME!

Goombella: I don't get it. How have you all lived in this tree for your entire lives and never notice that thing right there!?

Puniper: I sure as hell never noticed that shit. I'm usually pretty stoned most of the time.

Puniko: You're always stoned dude.

Puniper: Well yeah! I gotta be! I'm a drug dealer dumbass!

Koops: Wait. Who were you again?

Puniko: I talked for a bit in a scene earlier.

Koops: Oh yeah...

Mario: Right. So... get on the platform already.

Punathan: Yeah... Uhh... were scared...

Mario: ...what?

Puniko: Yeah! What if we get electrocuted?

Mario: Its a fucking scale you dumbshits.

Punio: Can't we just put Puniper on the scale? He's gotta be worth about 10 Punies in fat. Lardass Lardass Lardass!

Puniper: IAY! I AM GONNA WALK OUT OF HERE, AND GO HOME AND EAT SOME HEMP BAGEL BITES, AND FALL ASLEEP! Besides, lets just use the human... and the koopa... and the goomba... and that disturbing fat old cloud looking thing... She's gotta weigh 1000 punies.

Goombella: I think the Elder Puni specified that only Punies can alter the perportune of the scale.

Koops: That sounded smart the way you just said that.

Goombella: Thank you.

Puniper: That doesn't make any fucking sense! I bet that Mario looking slob eats at Lil' Caesar's day in and day out!

Mario: DUDE! FUCK YOU! I DONT WANNA HEAR AbOUT LIL FUCKING CAESARS! THAT PLACE CAN WIPE MY UNKEMPT ASS FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!

Koops: What's wrong with Lil Caesars?

Mario: ITS NOT IMPORTANT! ITS TOO MUCH TO EXPLAIN! JUST FUCK LIL CAESARS!

Puniper: It's that kind of crappy italian food that you old Mario wannabe looking cunt faces eat at.

Mario: I AM MARIO YOU FUCK WAD!

Puniper: You look way too old to really be Mario.

Mario: I go through life changes!

Puniper: Yeah right. You look like 1 of those rejected Oompa Loompas looking for a home that got dropped down a fucking sewage pipe. Theres no way your the real Mario.

Mario: OH YEAH? Well, you look like 1 of those overweight results of a severe birth defect that probably had alot of blood loss making you into a dumb shit! Your ded parents probably killed themselves for having such an ugly deformed baby right after they tried rolling you into a busy intersection making you even uglier!

Puniper: Holy shit! What an insult. Hmm... Perhaps you are the real Mario.

Mario: Thats right! Don't mess with me fuck wad!

Goombella: Right... So I'm gonna just place this sun orb into this little box thing right here.

Goombella grabbed the sun orb out of Mario's "back pocket" and placed it into the box causing all of the Punies to lose control of their minds and started having a Puni orgy with each other for a brief period on top of the platform causing a grey warp pipe to pop out of no where and Goombella pulling the sun orb out.

Flurries: Oh please... I "Madame Flurrie" have been in way bigger orgies than that.

Punio: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE ME DO!? Cum in mouth Cum in mouth Cum in mouth

Puniper: WHY DO I STILL HAVE A BONER!?

Goombella: Yeah. Sorry about that. It was the only to calm you Punies down. I'm just surprised that worked... gross.

Koops: Oh its not so bad. Did you know I learned how to masterbate by having sex with fruit when I was 13? I likes drilling holes in cantaloupe. Sometimes pineapple if I was feeling like I deserved the pain.

Goombella: WHY DO YOU TELL ME THESE THINGS!?

Koops: Oh whoopsies. I've been burying that information down for a while and I just needed to tell some1 badly. Like, I don't know why I said anything. Hehe.

Goombella: Something is dangerously wrong with you. I'd go see a therapist if I were.

Koops: I think you'd be a good therapist.

Goombella: No! You're too weird!

After traveling down the warp pipe, they soon discovered a room where they were on an edge with a bubble pool underneath them. Rainbow bubbles were spewing upwards despite there being no scientific reasoning behind it. I think this room is 1 of the more memorable 1s in the game itself.

Mario: Oh fuck! A ded end.

Flurrie: My my... what is with all of these sexy bubble floating in the air?

Goombella: huh?

Punio: How are we gonna get across? Cornholer Cornholer Cornholer

Puniper: Well there's a warp pipe behind us. Maybe it will take us somewhere near by?

Koops who had already taken the warp pipe downwards started shouting from below.

Koops: GUYS! The warp pipe only takes you down to this rainbowy pool!

Mario: Shit! Seriously!?

Koops: Yeah. It looks pretty tasty though…

Koops got on his knees and get this... he actually started slurping the soapy bubble water thinking it was gonna taste like candy. He might be getting sick soon just a heads up.

Mario: HA! Look at him go!

Goombella: KOOPS! What the fuck are you doing!? Stop drinking that! Do you have any idea how many different chemicals are inside that pool!?

Koops: Aww geez... really? I thought it was like, candy or something.

Goombella: Nothing that spews bubbles is "candy" you stupid fuck!

Koops: Is that why it tastes like soap?

Goombella: So you just kept drinking it knowing it tastes like soap!?

Koops: Maybe there was supposed to be a good aftertaste? How should I know?

Goombella: YOU SHOULD KNOW!

Flurrie: Aww... give him a break. He's just sheltered and doesn't know any better.

Goombella: Fuck you! I was sheltered for most of my life too but at least I wasn't dumb!

Puniko: So wait? How are we supposed get across now?

Goombella: Hmm...

Flurrie: I GOT IT!

Everyone looked at Flurrie in a surprise expression that she would be competent enough to conjure an idea.

Flurrie: How about you all just simply walk across?

Goombella: Of course! Drr! Why didn't I think of that!?

Mario: Cause your not as smart as you think you are.

Goombella succeeded that comments with an angry facial expression.

Punathan: But were scared of the water.

Punio: Yeah. All us Punies are too small to walk through it. Plus we can't swim. Fuckface fuck face fuckface

Flurrie: Mmmm... I see... Well, you should able to float on the bubbles and I'll just use my dastardly wind powers to propel you all to the other side.

Goombella: THATS A TERRIBLE IDEA!

Koops: I'm feeling weird you guys.

Puniko: Thats scary.

Puniper: Yeah! I don't wanna float in a fucking bubble. Thats gay.

Mario: Just get in the fucking water!

Punio: We don't want to! Jewnazi Jewnazi Jewnazi

Punathan: Yeah! We're not taking our chances!

Mario: For fuck sakes! Its fucking water. You swim across, and swim off to the other side. Are you too retarded not to see past that!?

Puniper: Yeah fuck that! Were not doing it!

Flurrie: But don't you all wanna save your lovely tree?

Punio: Can't you all at least just carry us? Mexicans Mexicans Mexicans

Mario: THATS IT! MY PATIENCE HAS ENDED!

As the tip of Mario's penis started hurting out of frustration again, he started going on an angry rampage where he started to grab them by their antennas, and violently attempted to chuck the Punies across the pool where they landed in the water.

Goombella: JESUS FUCK MARIO!

Flurrie: Oh the humanity!

Mario: FUCK THE FUCKING PUNIES! SERIOUSLY!

Goombella: Are they alive!?

Koops: Look! Thier aliv- BLEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRGGGG!

The Punies started floating in the bubbles upwards making Flurrie's plan seem somewhat successful.

Goombella: You do realize you could have killed them right?

Mario: I thought that was the idea.

Punio: You didn't have to chuck us you asshole! Asstard Asstard Asstard

Mario: Actually, yeah. Yeah I did. Now Flurrie! Use your wind blowing powers on them!

Flurrie: Mmmm with pleasure...

Goombella: WAIT! NO!

Flurrie put tons of pressure in her body as she turned around, gripped her fists, and used her ass wind farting ability to move the floating punies to the other side.

Mario: Oh right. I forgot that's how she does that...

The punies have successfully made it across.

Mario: You know, it would be a little more redeeming if she just learned how to shave her ass.

Goombella: Sweet. Now we can move on.

Mario: Finally, onto the next dumb ass obstacle!

Goombella: Yes. Come on Koops.

Koops: Okay- BLEEEEEEEERRRRRRRGGGG

Koops Puked all over Flurrie's boobs.

Flurrie: My my... I didn't know you were into that.

Koops: Uhh... Im sorry, but please don't say that to me...

After a few more pointless obstacles, wait... wait seriously, why the fuck does there need to be this many obstacles!? This is bullshit. Who the fuck built that shit? Do the Punies have to get past these in order to function in their everyday lives? What the fuck!? Wait. They never even recognized these parts of the tree before.

Mario: Ah fuck. Another ded fucking end. This is really starting to piss me off!

Goombella: I don't think I've ever seen you not pissed off.

Mario: Well if I didn't have to shit so badly, I wouldn't be so pissed off!

Koops: Oh gee... do you think there's a bathroom around here?

Mario: No Koops! No there isn't you piece of shit.

Punio: Yeah. We dont even know what a bathroom is. Foreplay Foreplay Foreplay

Mario: Well thats helpful. If I don't find 1 soon, I'll make my own on the floor.

Flurrie: Mmmmm... I'll be your bathroom sweetskinz...

Mario: ... You know, I might just take your offer in that. Alright. Open your mouth bitch.

A swarm of retarded black hummingbird things spontaneously spawned out of some bee hive looking thing that was in the room the entire time but never acknowledged. They started flying towards them in means to attack the good guys.

Goombella: What the fuck are those things!?

Puniper: Those are the Jabbis God Damnit!

Koops: They're the jabbies?

Mario: Those fucking bird things!? Ha! Look at their eyes! They look like a bunch of alcohol induced miscarriages after a rampant gay butt blasting sex orgy with a pack of racist looking crows from Disney!

Jabbis: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo ...

Punio: It's a 10 Jabbi squadron! Lets get them! Pube Poker Pube Poker Pube Poker

Puniper: Alright! I'm gonna kick them square in the nnnnnNUTS!

Puniko: You go do that.

[BATTLE MODE kind of]

Mario: Power Level 40

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

Punies: Collective Power Level 11

V.S.

10 Jabbis: Collective Power Level 10 (They're Fucked)

Battle music: Mission Impossible Theme

The Jabbis and Punies charged at each other in an epic war like Braveheart fashion causing 1 of the greatest bloodbaths known in history... just kidding. The fight was actually pretty pathetic.

Since the Punies began the fight in an unorganized way where the Jabbies were winning.

3 of the Jabbies kept pecking at Puniper due to him being the fat weak 1.

Puniper: Ahh! Get off me God damnit! AAHHH!

More Jabbis kept chasing and scaring the other.

Mario: Ha! Look at those faggots getting their asses handed to them. Fucking losers.

Goombella: Wait, shouldn't we help them out or something?

Koops was looking up a photo if Milhouse licking the Comic Book guy's asshole. This Koops guy wont stop looking up Simpsons Hentai will he.

Mario: Fuck that shit. Id rather rub my balls on Africa than deal with that shit.

Punio: Will you cock jugglers help us out! Were getting our asses handed to us! Menopause Menopause Menopause.

Punio got lifted in the air by 2 Jabbis

Jabbis: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Mario: Oh. I guess we get to slaughter small birds. Awesome!

Koops: But you just said-

Mario: I know what I said Koops! Now shut up before I drill a hole in your dad's gooch and call it his "mangina!"

Goombella uses like, a rocket skull bash to projectile herself splattering 1 of the Jabbis.

Goombella: Oh god I feel guilty for that now...

2 of the Punies played tug a war with 1 of the Jabbies ripping off its limbs bleeding that shit to deth.

Koops kept looking on his phone for Simpson's hentai when suddenly 2 Jabbi knocked his phone on the ground.

Koops: Hey! That was my phone asshole! BLEEEEEEEEEERRRGGG

Koops' puke somehow killed the Jabbi's and made them melt.

Koops: Ugg…. Why did I drink that bubble juice!?

Mario grabbed the Jabbi and angrily bit its head off like Ozzy Osbourne to a bat.

1 of the Jabbi's was flying around looking for a Puni to fight when suddenly Puniper landed on him out of nowhere thus crushing it with his big fat puni ass.

Flurrie uses queef blast to send 2 of the Jabbi's into a whirlwind of vagina fart which spattered them on the wall.

Puniko strangled 1 of the Jabbi's with his antenna to deth.

Jabbi: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

There was 1 more Jabbi left who was cornering Punio

Jabbi: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Punio: AAAAHHH! Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Jabbi: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Punio: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Jabbi: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo-

Mario surprised the last Puni by dropping a turd on it crushing it to deth.

[END OF BATTLE kind of]

Goombella: WHAT THE FUCK MARIO!? DID YOU REALLY NEED TO TAKE A DUMP ON IT!? LIKE, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Mario: Oh stop acting all "well behaved." It was a clever way to kill the last retard and you know it.

Flurrie: Hoo... I don't know about you guys, but that last move mario pulled off truly just made me all wetty..

Goombella: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Punio: Yay! We did it! we killed every last 1 of those fucking Jabbis! Red shithole Red shithole Red shithole!

Puniper: What are you talking about!? You ran and hid like a little pussy!

Mario: Yeah. You Punies suck satan's almighty chode at fighting.

All the Punies: FUCK YOU!

Koops: What smells like shit again?

Mario: My turd on the floor.

Koops: Oh yeah.

Goombella: Wait. Shouldn't we be looking for a key or something?

Punio: Oh right! I almost forgot. We gotta destroy the Jabbi hive fortress! BIG TITS! BIG TITS! BIG TITS!

Punio and the rest of the Punies crawled inside their base to destroy it out of try hard spite. The Punies soon exited the base as it exploded behind them like some cliche action movie while Punio held the blue key that they were looking for in his mouth.

Koops was distracted as he was mindlessly staring at Mario's turd for no reason.

Punio: Yay! we found the key.

Mario: Fuck yeah we did. Alright everyone! Lets go back to the fucking prison! And Koops! Stop staring at my turd! Its really weird.

Koops: Why is it shaped like corn on the cob?

Mario: If you don't stop obsessing over my shit right now, I'm gonna rip your bandaid off, wipe my ass with it, and put it back on your nose.

Koops: Okay.*SNIFF* I think i'm getting really light headed guys.

Chapture 3 - 13 Punies Still Piss me off.

Before we dabber into another retarded sub-chapture with the retarded team M, lets see what's been going in the blue prison cell that the X-Nauts have been "keeping an eye on." Wait seriously, what the fuck!? Why haven't we heard of any X-Nauts in the past few scenes? There were supposed to be 10,000 of them. Some1 needs to tell them to stop playing with their ding dongs and GET BACK A 2 TWERK!

Puness (Age 13): Gee willikers. Theres no way Punio and those M weirdos are gonna make it back. They probably stormed off.

Petuni: Hey! My brother will be back. I just know it!

Punikki (Age 16): Oh please bitch. Their asses so got fucked by the X-Nauts and Jabbis. You know they teamed up with each other ironically right?

Petuni: Yeah! So? Your ugly so no 1 needs to listen to you.

Punicholai (Age 18): It's pointless. As is life itself. The X-Nauts are just gonna rape us all ded in a pile of ded bodies everywhere. We might as well kill ourselves before they cut our lives into pieces.

Petuni: Well your an emo fag.

Puness: Wait, what's that thing you've been holding onto?

Petuni: What this?

Petuni pulled out something out of no where that may look like a dried shroom.

Petuni: It's Leonard Nimoy's dried up sebbard cock.

All of the other Punies: WHAT!?

Petuni: Yeah. He was an organ donor and he requested that his penis be sent to an ancient majical giant tree in the mushroom kingdom. It was for religious reasons I think.

Punicholai: Isn't he the guy who played as Spock from Star Drek?

Petuni: Yeah. Yeah he is. I figured that Punio is a huge Star Drek fan. When he comes back, i'm gonna give it to Punio to eat.

All of the other Punies: WHY!?

Team M and the rest of the Punies have returned to the cell with the key and everything.

Petuni: Look! They're here!

Punio: Look Petuni! we're back! We brought the key! We're opening the cell right now! Little Richard Little Richard Little Richard

Punio opens the blue cell.

Puness: Yay! Were not getting raped after all!

90 of the punies have exited the evil blue cell.

Petuni: Thank you big brother!

Punio: No problem lil sister. I love you!

Petuni: I know you do. Anyhoo, I come bearing a gift. I meant to give you this sooner but you know…

Petuni hands Punio Leonard Nimoy's penis thinking that it was a dried shroom. You know where this is going.

Punio: Wow! A Dried Shroom! My favorite! Aww you shouldn't have!

Mario: Wait... isnt that Leon-

Petuni: Eat up!

Punio started chowing down on the "dried shroom" like it was no tomorrow. Little did he know, he was in for a nasty surprise.

Everyone else: EWWW!

Mario: HA!

Punio: Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Delicious! That was the best dried shroom I've ever eaten! Penis Penis Penis.

Petuni: Oh yeah, well get this, *chuckle* you know how you LOVE Star Drek? And you know how you *chuckles more* just ate that "dried shroom"? Well *chuckles even more* get this get this... *chuckles alot more* THAT WAS LEONARD NIMOY'S DED PENIS!

Punio: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!?1

Petuni: Yeah! I knew that Star Drek is your favorite show! And just as a pure coincidence, Leonard Nimoy himself donated his wang to our tree so I combined those ideas and I got your ass!

Mario: PPPPPPFFFFFFTTTT! AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Goombella: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU PSYCHOPATH!?

Punio: BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

Pentuni: Because! Thats what you get when you leave the toilet seat up and I have to sit on your pee water! So for revenge, I tricked you into eating Spock's cock!

Punio: BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!1

Koops: BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Koops: Sorry. The puking is contagious. And I'm still very sick...

Flurrie: Aww... No need to worry Koops. Here. Lemme give you some sugar honey…

Flurrie squished Koop's cheeks together and stared at him intensely.

Koops: Wh- what... what are you doing?

Flurrie: Now close your eyes and think of England.

Flurrie ferociously smooched Koops thinking that would cure his ass.

Koops opened his eyes and BLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGED all over Flurrie covering her in puke. I think that actually make Flurrie look prettier am I right fellow Paper Mario fans? This wouldn't be Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama without people mindlessly puking all the damn time!

Koops: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

Goombella: YOUR ALL SUCH SICK FUCKS!

Mario: Aww man. That penis thing was so funny I think I popped a blood vessel in my eye laughing so hard.

Mario said as he was covering his bleeding eye socket.

Mario: Alright so are you punies joining our party for the remainder of the chapture are what?

Petuni: Yeah sure.

[90 Punies joined your ARMY]

See? Its that simple to progress in a story. I just choose not to.

Along the way to the next Jabbi den, Mario and the non Puni Team M members fell off that narrow path in the game. They landed safely and totally had no climactic effect. I mean, the Punies just watched and stood around like pussies.

Team M got distracted and entered the shop in the tree known as "Puni Pun's Party Shop" to sell a fire flower only so they can fill their inventory with some new cool items such as Ice Cocaine and a Mystery Box.

[Inventory : 2 Shrooms, 1 Fire Weed, 1 POW Blocks, & 2 jar of honey flavored vagelly syrup, Ice Cocaine, and Mystery Box and 2 Tasty Tonic Waters.]

Alright. Enough narration. Lets pan things back to the character's point of views.

Mario: Wow! It was pretty cool that they had Ice Cocaine. I haven't had any of this shit in awhile.

Koops: Whoa. Like, what does it do?

Mario: What do you think retard!? You snort it, and you blow ice out of your nose to freeze the damn jerkops!

Koops: It sounds kind of made it.

Goombella: I just hope that mystery box is something useful, let alone not disturbing.

Koops: What if it's like... a present that Jokey Smurf made. Then your face would uhh.. blow off...

Goombella: *sigh* God damnit Koops. Smurfs aren't real you dumbass! Evan if it was Jokey Smurf. It would just burn my face or something dumb like that.

Flurrie: Mmmm... But then that would ruin your makeup on your beautiful face. MMMMM LEMME KISS IT! LEMME KISS IT!

Flurrie tired to impulsively grab Goombella's cheeks to kiss her like what went down with Koops and Mario earlier. Geoombella headbutted Flurrie with her flashlight piece on her helmet and gave Flurrie a bloody nose.

Goombella: Eww! Get away from me! What!? Now you're a lesbian or something!?

Mario: She has done some girl on girl shit if you know what I mean.

Goombella: Get that image away from me RIGHT NOW!

Another gang of minor enemy emos emerged out of no where. This gang involved another Pale Piranha and 2 Piders. Piders look like spiders but are much bigger, and black and white. GET IT! IT'S LIKE SPIDER, BUT WITHOUT THE "S"! GENIUS NAMING FOR THESE VILLIANS! Ahh... look it up if you wanna know what they look like. "Pider" is also Russian for "Faggot" funny enough.

Pale Piranha: Check out these faggots guys!

Pider 1: Hey! I'm called "Pider!"

Pale Piranha: Not you! I'm talking to the conformists over here!

Goombella: OH GOD ARE THOSE-

Koops: Are those the same guys from earlier?

Goombella began to close her eyes and shivered in traumatic disgust.

Mario: Great... more of these guys. And with that same opening line too...

Goombella: EWW! SOME1! GET ME AWAY FROM THOSE THINGS!

Flurrie: Aww poor baby... whats wrong?

Goombella: I TOTALLY HAVE LIKE, SEVERE ARACHNOPHOBIA UP THE ASS! Also... SHUT UP!

Goombella began to hide and shut her eyes in pain and anxiety.

Koops: Whoa... what's erectopobia? Do you hate boners or something?

Goombella: I have an petrifying fear of spiders and shit like that! Can you guys just kill them. I'm really sick of freaking out this much right now.

Mario: Haha. You can't stand spider you fucking pussy.

Goombella: Fuck you Mario. I'm killing you after you kill those spiders!

Pider 2: You know what we should do? We should tie them up! Make them watch music videos of Attack Attack and get these jocks into some real crab core!

Pider 1: Oh NOYICE bro! Then if they refuse, will make paint them black with our eyeliner on their ded bodies! Will make them look all hard core and shit. Like how Aplhawarewolf would have want.

Flurrie: That sounds most sexy...

Goombella: ARE YOU GUYS GONNA KILL THESE EDGY INSECTS OR WHAT!?

Goombella started tearing up alot smearing her eye liner all over her face.

Koops: None of you answered my question. Are those the same guys from earlier?

Mario: Alright. This banter has to stop before I compulsively cock strangle you all!

Pider 2: HA! Thats like, really gay brah!

[BAD-HOLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 32/40

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 26/30

FP: 6/10

V.S.

Pale Pirahna: Power Level 8

Pider 1: Power Level 10

Pider 2: Power Level 10

Battle Music: Die Romantic by Aiden

[TURN 1]

Goombella uses tattl-

Goombella: I'm not doing it! I'm not opening my eyes until those bugs are gone!

Mario: Are... are you fucking kidding me?

Goombella: I'M FREAKED OUT BY SPIDERS! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU GET!?

Mario: I just find it funny that you can't stand a few spiders when you're studying to be an archeologist. You know, a job where you most likely will have to go through spiders to find ancient objects.

Goombella: ...

Mario: You can't do your job if you're this terrified of spiders.

Goombella: ...

Mario: This is a huge problem for your fucking education. You know that right?

Goombella: ... *Sigh* fine you win...

Goombella squints her eyes and uses tattle: This is a pider BLEEEEERRRRRGGGGGGG! It's a foul horrifying creature from the black fucking lagoons with a power level of 10 that drops down from its web. It shoots out these balls of webs and OH CAN YOU JUST FUCKING KILL IT! LIEK EWW!

Koops: BLEEEEEEEERRRRRGGGGGG! I'm still sick…

Goombella: WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST A MILLION TIMES!

Mario uses power smash and Pale Piranha splattering it all over the floor.

Goombella: That better be 1 of the fucking spiders that got smashed.

Pider 1: Whoa dude! He killed 1 of the Piranhas!

Pider 2: Yeah! That was fucking hard core brah!

Pider 1 uses gross wad of ass web and shit fired it all over Goombella getting it stuck all over her face. [2 Damage]

Goombella: ... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Goombella ran away crying to who knows where for now.

Mario: God damnit.

Pider 2 fires 3 mini web balls at Mario. Mario deflected them all like a real nigga.

[TURN 2]

Mario: Uhhh... Flurrie! Your up!

Koops: Wait! When's my turn!?

Mario: As soon as we stop receiving aerial based enemies!

Koops: What?

Mario: You can only do ground based attacks remember!?

Koops: Ahh man... I suck...

Mario uses trade for Furrie: [0 Damage]

Mario: YOU MEAN THAT COUNTED AS MY FUCKING TURN!?

Flurrie uses mega boob blaster on Pider 1: [2 Damage]

Pider 2: Noyice bro!

Pider 1: Shut up dude. That was so gross. I never wanna see boobs again.

Pider 1 uses 3 web balls shit spit fun blast at Flurrie. [3 Damage]

Koops checked his facebook awaiting Koopie Koo's lack of response.

Koops: It's been awhile since I last checked this.

Pider 2 uses web shit ball at Mario who countered hitting Flurrie due to fans not being very attached to her. [2 Damage more on Flurrie]

Pider 2: Can you even Djent bro!?

[TURN 3]

Mario uses power bounce on Pider 2 eliminating it from life brutally: [5 Damage]

Flurrie uses gross veiny boob smack on Pider 1: [2 Damage]

Pider 1: STOP DOING THAT!

Pider 1 uses bullet spider prostate propeller at Flurrie putting her in danger mode: [5 Damage] That's more than it should be.

Flurrie: YOU THINK A LITTLE FECAL MATTER IS GONNA STOP ME! YOU'RE PLAYING IN MY SPECIAL FIELD THERE! BY THAT I MEAN, YOU'RE ONLY TURNING ME ON! FEAR MY WETNESS AS I DESTROY YOU WITH THE SEISMIC POWER OF MY WACKY WATERY WORLD THAT IS MADAME FLURRIES FILTHY VAG-

Mario: Flurrie! Stop it!

Flurrie: What?

Mario: Just... stop it. I don't usually like saying this, but your actually really creeping me out right now.

Flurrie: My my...

Mario uses minor double jump attack from Paper Mario: [2 Damage]

Flurrie uses finish move "VAGINAL WALLS OF DETH!" on Pider. [Alot of Damage]

[LEVEL UP]

Mario leveled up to level 7 upgrading his power level to 50. I can't stop keeping track of this. I'M NOT EVEN DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM! Yet.

[END OF BATTLE]

Mario: Well that was pretty dumb.

Mario grabbed a Charge Badge that the ded team of wild edge fags had on them ironically. This badge allows Mario and maybe others to charge +1 Attack each turn used. This can make Mario's power level go higher than an obvious over 9000 joke.

Koops: Hey! Is that candy?

Koops tried to impulsively grab it take a bite of the badge before Mario pushed koops away from him.

Mario: DO YOU FUCKING THINK EVERYTHING IS CANDY YOU STUPID FUCK!?

Koops: Well uhh... I dont know. It looked like candy I guess...

Flurrie: Haven't you seen Mario pick up badges before?

Mario: Right... you guess... yeah, you grab 1 of my badges again, and I'll smack you square in the face with my nuts.

Goombella ran back after wiping off the web shit off screen.

Goombella: Are the spiders ded yet?

Koops: I think so.

Goombella: That was really terrifying. Don't ever let me see 1 of those things again.

Mario: Yeah...

Goombella: Thank you... lets go back up. You know. See if the Punies are still there.

Mario: Right...

As they walked up to the warp pipe, Mario began whispering to Koops a little something.

Mario: Hey Koops?

Koops: Yeah.

Mario: Don't be surprised if I *snicker* buy a spider costume and rape Goombella.

Koops: Isn't that kind of mean?

Mario: No. I'm only raping her for you know, comedy purposes. So its not even really actual rape. Its just funny!

Koops: Oh yeah. I guess that's a good point.

They ascending up the warp pipe where they walked in on the punies having an embarrassing overly complicated debate about World of Warcraft or Runescape being better. Mario got impatient with the conversation so he pulled down his overalls and farted all over the Punies to shut them up. They then walked straight to the other Jabbi room where they will have to fight alot more of those drunk bird things.

Koops: Hey, where are those Jabber things?

Goombella: They're called "jabbies" Koops.

Puniper: Yeah. Pay attention god damnit.

Koops: Sorry. I've just been having a really bad fever and stomach ache since I drank that bubbly water.

Petuni: You mean you actually drank the bubble liquid!? What the fuck were you thinking!?

Koops: I don't know... I was just hoping it would have been candy or something.

Goombella: That fact that you've jumped to that conclusion twice today is really concerning.

Mario: Yeah. incase you haven't noticed, Koops is a fucking idiot. You can basically get him to do anything for free like a Jackass character.

Koops: Yeah!

Puness: Wow. That is concerning.

Punio: Are these Jabbie fucks gonna come out or what! Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo

Mario: I know how to get them out.

Mario: HEY! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE FLYING CHUNKS OF FECAL MATTER WITH CRUDELY GLUED ON FEATHERS AND EYE BALLS! IF I WANTED TO WATCH COPROPHILIA FEATURING THE MONKEYS FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ, I WOULD! I MEAN, FLURRIE WAS IN THAT PORNO!

Flurrie: YEAH!

Due to Mario's ever so harsh "you look like a" insults, Mario successfully managed to provoke all of the Jabbis to exit their black honeycomb base things. Although, he got much more than he bargained for when he and the rest of Team M witnessed a flock of 100 Jabbis form an organized arian fashion.

100 Jabbis: JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO JIGABOO!

Goombella: HOLY FUCK! THERES SO MANY OF THEM!

Koops: Yeah! Theres like... 100 of them.

Goombella: Wow that... actually sounds about accurate.

Petuni: What are we gonna do!?

Mario: Who gives a fuck! We have a shit ton of Punies! Plus me and the other 3 retards in my team if it isn't obvious enough! Lets beat them so hard that we murder their parents!

Punio: Yeah! Marios right. We got this. Piss in my ass Piss in my ass Piss in my ass.

Puniper: Yeah! Then were gonna 911 their base!

Mario: Wow dude. 2001 called. It says it wants it's easy target back!

[BIRDLE MODE!]

Mario: Power Level 50

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

Punies: Collective Power Level 101

V.S.

100 Jabbis: Collective Power Level 100 (This should be interesting)

Battle Music: Matrix Reloaded by Agent Smith Battle Music

A shit ton of Punies started running away from the Jabbis like last time.

Punio: Punies! Some of you have been over this! Lesbos Lesbos Lesbos!

Punio wrapped his antenna around a Jabbi's neck and popped its head off. Then used the blood as war make up.

Punio: STOP BEING FUCKING PUSSIES AND LETS LYNCH THESE BLACK BIRDS! KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL!

Petuni: Yeah! And not to sound racist either!

Goombella: Yeah! And saying that usually means you are racist!

Petuni: Shut up bitch!

Goombella: Fuck you whore!

Petuni and Goombella started pushing and smacking eachother like a couple of little bitches fighting over who's in the best girl scout club.

Mario: GOD DAMNIT YOU 2! SHUT UP!

Mario chucked Goombella and Petuni at random direction of the room slamming into 2 different Jabbis total.

Flurrie popped a vaginal cyst and the pus burned 1 of the Jabbis alive.

Puniper grinded 2 of the Jabbies up into chilli and tricked 1 of the Jabbies into eating them. The Jabbi got such bad food poisoning from the grinded up Jabbies, that he actually died.

10 of the Punies cornered 4 of the Jabbies before they tackled them into a cloud of violent cartoony smoke as they ate them and left nothing but bird skeletons.

Koops: Guys. I'm *sniff* having a hard time seeing. Im starting to get dizzy.

Flurrie squeezed her boobs causing herself to lactate cheese wizz due to her gross fatness. She fired her lactation at 2 of the Jabbie's mouths causing them to choke on it.

Mario kept throwing Punies at the Jabbies killing about 10 of them.

Goombella chucked her helmet causing it to riker shai off of 3 Jabbies which also killed them. She caught her helmet and put it back on her head in mid air.

Punio bashed 1 of the Jabbies with his teleportation stick. You know, the bat he uses to knock people out. Only this killed him.

Mario violently threw a rock at 1 of the Jabbies heads. Far more violent than that scene from the first episode of Pokemon.

An anvil fell out of no where killing 2 Jabbies.

Koops took off his crusty hoodie and brutally covered 1 of the Jabbies in a disturbing violent manner that made the Jabbie panic and flap its wings inside. The Jabbie eventually ran out of oxygen and died in Koop's hoodie.

Puness used PK thunder and zapped 1 of the Jabbies. (You didn't think I was gonna do anything with that name?)

Puniper psycho analyzed 1 of the jabbies and convinced him to fly into a fucking airplane and did.

Mario crushed 1 of the Jabbies to deth by shoving it up his 43 year old Italian anus.

Petuni and Punio did an epic brother sister spinning move with their antennas connecting that took the form of a green and pink ring and sliced 6 Punies.

30 out of 60 of the remaining Jabbies took the form of a giant mecha which in turn caused 50 of the Punies doing the same.

Punicholai caused 1 of the Jabbies to kill himself by telling him how meaningless life is.

The Puni Mecha continued to throw punches at the Jabbi Mecha.

Punathan broke through 1 of the Punies in a drill like motion.

Koops: I'm starting to feel even more sick guys BLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Koops puked all over 2 Jabbies causing them to explode for some reason.

Mario: Here Koops! I got you!

Koops: What?

Mario: I got an idea!

Mario grabbed Koops from behind like he was giving him a heimlich maneuver and spun him around making him do a badass spinning puke blast attack on 12 of the Jabbies.

The Puni mecha fired Puni torpedoes weakening the Jabbi mecha in an epic ass way.

Flurrie queefed and farted at the same time creating a queef and fart tornado which killed 7 Jabbies from the windy impact.

1 of the Jabbies flew into a banana making it slip to its deth.

Punio got really excited and started swearing alot due to his crazy tourettes making 1 of the Jabbie's ears bleed to deth from the foul language.

The Puni mecha finished off the Jabbies with a mega blasting hyper laser cannon big bang kamehameha beam cannon killing 30 frekin' Jabbies making them disintegrate.

1 of the Jabbies attempted to fly away from Mario as he got on all 4s and chased after it while wearing the cat suit from Super Mario 3D World and ate it.

Koops started talking to 1 of the Jabbies about his Dual Masters card collection causing the Jabbi to get bored to deth.

Puniko and Punikki force fucked 1 of the jabbies from mouth to anus killing it that way.

Goombella shined a laser beam from her helmet at 1 of the Jabbies causing it to cut in half. All these fight scene ideas make me think. I should write ANIME! ... or maybe I should stick with this shit.

1 last remaining Jabbie shot 1 of the Punies in the back and cornered the rest of the Punies along with the actual Team M members.

Jabbi: Jigaboo Jigaboo Jigaboo...

Punio: I HAVE AN IDEA! Koops! Give me your cell phone!

Koops: Umm. Okay... Why?

Koops handed Punio his phone.

Punio: PREPARE FOR MY MOST DEDLY ATTACK!

Punio starts playing an episode of Johnny Test for the Jabbi causing him to become mentally retarded and kill himself by excessively bashing his head on the wall. No wonder why they took it off the air!

Doing this officially eliminated the Jabbi species.

Koops: Hey! I like that show!

Puniper: Now lets destroy their base as further insult to injury!

The rest of the Punies entered the base to blow it up revealing a hidden path.

[END OF JABBIES!]

Punio: Punollan! NOOOOOOO! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Punis (Age 16) was the puni that got shot in the back in a pool of blood with some last dying words to say.

Punis: Punio... I'm nott... gonna... ma... make it.

Punio: Noo! You cant say that! You'll make it. I mean, everyone really likes you! Like, you were... I mean, you ARE the vital most memorable character of this series. How are we gonna continue being an army without you!?

Punis: Punio... hehe... sorry dude… looks like I'm done for...

Punio: ..p. Punis...

Punis: This is it... farewell buddy...

Punio: P...P...PUUUUUUUUUUUNIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Mario walked up to them and randomly stomped on the almost ded Puni like a glass at a jewish wedding making him even dedder.

The blood got everywhere because that particular Puni had more blood in him than Dio from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

Mario: Take that dick!

Punio: MARIO! YOU FUCKING DICK! HOW COULD YOU STOMP ON HIM!?

Mario: What? He was CLEARLY suffering from that bullet wound. I put an end to his misery so your welcome you fuck.

Punio: I'LL KILL YOU!

Punio crawled into Mario's overalls and started pulling on his pubic hair causing Mario to roll around on the floor to get Punio off of him.

Mario: Hey! Get off of me you retards! Ahh! Your name is a pun off of my own so don't think I can't destroy you!

Goombella: Wait Punio!

Punio: Yeah!

Goombella: Your tourettes!

Punio: What about it!?

Goombella: You're not repeating something hilarious 3 times!

Flurrie: My my... your right.

Punio: ... Holy fuck! Your right! THIS IS AWESOME! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! I'm saying that intentionally! YES!

Mario: Haha. You sound like a fucking faggot.

Punio: Oh... Your lucky I'm in a good mood right now.

Koops: Didn't your friend just die?

Punio: Come on everyone! Lets go collect that Dedly Star!

Mario: Uhh... yeah thats kind of my mission asshole!

Chapture 3 - 14 Oh shit! We forgot about the X-Nauts!

The bizarre team of friends and the flock of Punies continued to waddle through the hidden path only to await for a special surpr- I mean... NOTHING!

Petuni: Hey guys! You wanna play a game?

Mario: No. Fuck off.

Petuni: Its called "Stump Petuni" Its when you ask me any question and I will answer it! Like, I don't know if you guys realize this, but i'm actually REALLY smart!

Koops: Oh wow...

Goombella: If you were smart, you wouldn't need to acknowledge it out loud.

Petuni: Shut your whore mouth! You'r hair makes you look like you get molested by the truckers!

Goombella: Fuck you twerp. Maybe you think that cause your the most unfuckable thing of the most unfuckable species I've ever seen!

Punio: Wow your right Mario, Goombella really does has a problem with getting along with other females.

Mario: Thats because she's insecure about being a Goomba. Basically, she doesn't have any boobs and she's short and weak. So she kind of just compensates like a wrestler with a small dick who buys a Ford SUV. She also likes to get attention by being the 1 girl out of the group.

Punio: What about Flurrie?

Mario: Yeah. That 1s Goombella's free pass because no 1 likes Flurrie she's so ugly.

Flurrie: Aww you guys...

Flurrie started giving Mario and Punio a disturbing smile with her almost closing her eyes as if she was some kind of sexual predators.

Mario: Stop giving me that look you crazy bitch!

Goombella and Petuni continued to argue about jack shit.

Petuni: Your the dumb face that eats shit for a living! All your good for is having drunk retired plumbers jump on you, you fucking Goomba!

Goombella: Oh yeah!? Well i'm a junior at a liberal arts college! What do you do for a living? Live in a fucking tree you neanderthal!

Koops got distracted as he was watching painfully unfunny Over 9000 Rick Roll Youtube Poop videos.

Punio: I like how Goombella is 21, argueing with my 11 year old sister about nothing!

Mario: Yeah. Its even funnier that she gloats about being culturally accepting when she bashes people for living in trees.

Punio: When did she say that she was culturally accepting?

Mario: It's heavily implied. You just gotta pay attention.

Puniper: Shut the fuck up you fucking cunt ass bitch whoooooores!

Goombella and Petuni angrily stared at Puniper out of his remarkable addressment. The tension was really awkward for 10 minutes of awkward silence.

Koops then broke the silence by saying, "Hey look! Its another Puni Orb box thing!"

Koops: Hey look! Its another Puni Orb box thing!

Puness: Uhh... We heard you the 1st time...

Koops: No. The Narrator said it 1st.

Puness: Oh nevermind.

Mario: Sweet! Now i'm gonna put the orb in to watch you guys fuck!

Puniper: NO MARIO DON'T! We'll just all stand on the spot insted!

Mario placed the Puni orb in the 100 Puni scale causing all 100 Punies to get very horny and fuck eachother in a sex orgy mountain that was only 2% straight.

Suddenly, 1 of the big moments of this chapture started as a BIG ASS PURPLE CAGE fell out of nowhere and trapped all of the Team M members. Shit just got reel!

Mario: OH GOD DAMNIT!

Goombella: How did you guys not see the cage hanging above our heads!?

Mario: You didn't see it either dumbass!

Goombella: I know that but that's not my point!

Koops pulled out the Puni orb realizing that the Punies were still having an orgy.

The Punies all quickly and awkwardly split away from the orgy along with Flurrie being a part of the orgy as she was inside the damn pile getting hecta(100)-penetrated

Punio and Petuni woke up from the hypnotic orgy realizing that they just had sex.

Punio: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Petuni: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Punio: I JUST HAD SEX WITH MY SISTER!

Petuni started to have a panic attack while Punio started to run around senselessly like a decapitated chicken!

Punio: I LOST MY FUCKING VIRGINITY TO MY FUCKING SISTER! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?

Puniper: GOD DAMNIT! HOW THE FUCK DID THIS CAGE GET IN HERE!?

Robotnik: SUP NIGGAS!?

Robotnik and 2 random X-Nauts jumped off from the ceiling with contradicting physics preparing to taunt the team of morons.

Mario and Goombella: Not this mother fucker again!

Robotnik ded a quick montage of perverted dances as he explained how well his plan worked.

Robotnik: HAR HAR HAR! I see you bunch of dicks fell into my rape cage where I RAPE people! Thats right! I worked my ass *shakes ass* off to design this bad girl, and boy did it work! Now you're all mine! You're all mine! YOUR ALL MIIIIYAIIIN! NA NA NA NA NAAAAA NAAAA SUCK MY DICK! Now we can do all kinds of wierd stuff *coresses man boobs together*! We can play Monopoly, spin the bottle, Connect 4, and my personal favorite, Limp Bizkit! You know, that game where we all get in a circle and masterbate on a fucking cookie and who ever finishes last, has to eat it! Frat boys do it all the time! See! I've never been in last place cause I inject 7000 gallons of hormones into my huge fucking ball sack! That's why I am constantly orgasming while still being horny! HAR HAR HAR!

Mario: Bite my scum you putrid fucking retard.

Robotnik: Well I see you've made alot of new friends since our last thilly encounter.

Robotnik looked over at Goombella

Robotnik: Oh..hohohohoho... And don't think I forgot about my favorite Goomba who ravishes my sexual diaper like fantasies! I often use my penis to masterbate to you! Speaking of deapers, tell me, have you ever tried masterbating while wearing a diaper since we last met? They're warm, fuzzy, and don't forget wuzzy!

Goombella: NO YOU SICK FUCK! NOW GET US OUT OF HERE SO I CAN FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Flurrie: I have.

Robotnik: Any doo doo, its 8:30 and I gotta go fart and choke myself while I masterbate to crude toddler quality fan art of myself while I wear a cowboy hat and cosplay as Black Swan! When I come back! You all will be wearing all of the diapers! HAR HAR HAR!

Koops: Wow uhh... You must have a crazy sex life.

Robotnik pointed at Koops.

Robotnik: Oh, and I'm raping your Koopa friend first!

Koops: Ahh... Gee wilikers.

Robotnik: GOOD BYE NIGGAS!

Robotnik left as he walked away while hand standing like Lanky Kong. Notice how the X-Nauts didn't talk. While thats because Robotnik injected super glue into his testacles. So when they finished sucking him off, their mouths were glued shut from the glue-cum.

Puniko: Ah fuck. Now what are we gonna do!?

Puniper: GOD DAMNIT WE'RE SO FUCKED!

Punathan: This is not good for my claustrophobia!

Punicholai: LIFE IS SO MEANINGLESS!

Koops: I HA'CHUUUU! like how that Robotnik guy forgot all about the Dedly Star. BLEEEEEEEEERGG!1

Petuni: I don't wanna live anymore!

Punio: I HAD SEX WITH MY FUCKING SISTER!

Goombella: Great. So now how are we getting out of here?

Mario: Hold on. Let me just squeeze my fucking man boobs together to get all oily.

Goombella: Oh thats right. I forgot you got cursed and you can do that.

Mario: I can also stretch my own dick into my ass and FUCK myself!

Goombella: Did we really need to know that!?

Flurrie: We sure did my gracious Goomba.

Goombella: Eww…

Huge oily wads of Mario's disgusting man grease plopped all over Goombella Koops and Flurrie as pure coincidence that none of it got on any of the Punies.

Flurrie: MMmmmm I love getting lubricated.

Goombella: Of course you do...

Mario: Welp... I'm out.

the lubed out Mario slipped out of the bars with his special retard powers.

Goombella: Wait.. What about the Punies?

Goombella, Koops, and Flurrie squeezed through the bars as well.

Mario: Hmm...

Puness: Hey what about us asshole!?

Mario: Yeah... We'll figure that out later.

Goombella: But don't we need them to-

Mario: NO.

Koops: Can't we just lubricate them-

Mario: NO. If they wanna leave, they're small enough to slip out.

Goombella: They seem to all be trying to squeeze out at the same time.

Mario: They'll figure it out! Now lets go before I stop giving more of a shit.

Koops: So we're not going back for the Punies?

Mario: NOT IF YOU KEEP ASKING!

Mario punched Koops hard in the stomach.

Koops: Oww! BLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRGGGGGG!1

Koops puked all over Mario causing Mario to stare at him with a disappointed facial expression.

Mario and his strange friends hopped down a warp pipe which happened to be in the same room. I guess it spawned out when the cage fell on them. Apparently, putting the orb in actually did something useful! Who would have thought!

They entered a room with 4 large statues of a screw driver, a bleached butthole, OJ Simpson, and a crude drawing of a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid called "Sonichu"

Goombella: Hey check it out! Possibly ancient statues!

Mario: Ugg... Not again with the fucking college crap.

Goombella looked at them on order starting with the screw driver.

Goombella: Okay. Not sure what this 1 means exactly…

Then the butthole 1.

Goombella: Eww why! Is that butthole supposed to be symbolic or something!?

Mario: You tell me. You're the fucking archeologist!

Goombella: Shut up!

Then she observed the OJ Simpson 1.

Goombella: Oh god damnit! That guy totally pisses me off!

Mario: Yeah. Isn't he the guy that started all those dog fights?

Goombella: No thats Michael Vick. OJ's the 1 who killed his wife and it WASN'T some conspiracy.

Mario: Oh... Hehe... I love Football.

Goombella checked out the statue of Sonichu.

Goombella: BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!1

Goombella: THAT WAS THE UGLIEST 1 OF THE 4!

Koops: BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!

Koops: Ugg... I think i'm gonna pass out guys.

Goombella: Geez Koops, you want some Tasty Tonic Water or something?

Koops: Wait why?

Goombella: It might help your sickness dumbass.

Koops: Oh yeah! I forgot!

Goombella: Mario! Hand Koops some Tonic Water.

Mario handed Koops some warm ass tonic water that lost its fizz in the invisible inventory Mario keeps around. Should we assume it's in his fucking ass? Who knows!

Koops: Wow! I feel so much better now! Like, sooo much!

Mario: You know what's the best part? We could have given you 1 of these easily some time in chapture 3 - 12.

Koops: You're a fucking booger head Mario.

Mario grabbed Koops. And kept smacking him.

Mario: DONT YOU EVER! SAY THAT AGAIN!

Flurrie: Mmmm... Such marvilous drama is making me all creamy oh yes it is!

Goombella: Oh for fuck sakes!

Goombella got bored and jumped on the switch that everyone clearly forgot to notice including myself. The fucking dumbass narrator! Am I talking to myself? Fuck…

A minor earthquake like thing occured shaking everyone.

A scene cut to almost all of the X-Nauts all doing some naked cheerleader pyramid shit. The room suddenly collapsed in the tree crushing all but 3 X-Nauts. So now Team M only has a few things left to worry about!

Mario: What the fuck was that?

Mario dropped Koops causing him to fall on the floor from being exhausted from the slappings.

Goombella: I was getting bored and pissed off at Flurrie being gross as usual so I hit a switch.

Mario: Wow! And not knowing what it would do either! Impressive!

Goombella: Well when do bad things happen when you tap a switch in this universe?

Koops: Didn't we just get caged by activating a switch 5 minutes ago?

Flurrie: I like your attitude Goombella. I would like to partake in the action that is foreplay with you!

Goombella: Look. I'm not against lesbians, but STOP FUCKING FLIRTING WITH ME!

Flurrie: Mmmaybe you should stop being so spankingly cute like a baby's behind.

Goombella: ...Whatever... Lets go see what that earthquake was all about.

They kept searching around the tree for... uhh... I can't tell if they're searching for the star, or how to save the Punies, or how to kill Robotnik, or what was the deal with those statutes or what. Who cares. They're searching for some kind of shit so try to stay entertained.

They found another room with 4 slot in a random order of the 4 shapes they saw as statues earlier. If you fucks know anything about Mario game puzzles, you would know what this shit is all about.

Koops: So... what now?

Mario:... Shit. I think we were supposed to memorize the fucking order of the statues.

Koops: What!? How are we supposed to memorize that crazy order!?

Goombella: There were only 4 of them.

Mario: Well do you memorize them!?

Goombella: Well lets see... there was OJ Simpson, and uhh... There was an asshole earlier... and... what else... ffffFUCK!

Flurrie: Mmmm... I remember there being a screw driver...

Goombella: Yeah, but in what order?

Flurrie: Whatever order you want it in sweety...

Goombella: Uhh... yeah... Not helpful... at all... uhh... yeah. Kill yourself.

Koops: So uhh... what do we do now? Should we go back to the statues?

Mario: Yeah... Fuck that.

Goombella: So I guess that means were gonna have to try every single possible combination we can think up till we get it right.

Mario: Wrong again!

Goombella: Well what do you suppose we do?

Mario: We have to read a few pages back in "Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama!" and remember what the fuck the creator wrote.

Koops: Won't that be breaking the 4th wall?

Goombella: Yeah... That seems kind of lazy and unfunny!

Mario: IT GETS THE JOB DONE! Besides, we only get a few more of these freebies tops. NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I PISS ON YOU! ALL OF YOU!

Later after constantly having to trace back countless times due to their squirrel like attention spans, they eventually found the right order. The statue slots opened wider than Jenna Jameson's cunt creating a dark canvas hiding something inside. That is 1 massive vajayjay!

Koops: Wait! So I think I figured out the symbolism behind the statues! Basically its a prophecy that 1 day, OJ Simpson will use a screwdriver to shove a Sonichu Medallion up his bleached butthole! Maybe this happening will cause something in regards to the 1000 year Door!

Flurrie: My my... are you saying we need to kill O.J.?

Koops: Yes.

Mario: Perfect. I know just how to kill him.

Goombella: Are you 3 fucking retarded!? Like rhetorical question! Seriously, that wasn't even in the right order. If you wanted to do a slightly less moronic prophecy, it would be taking a screwdriver and shoving it up a bleached butthole which would birth a clone of OJ Simpson who creates Sonichu.

Mario: Well OJ is already born, so now we just need to stop him from making sonichu.

Goombella: Well yeah... wait NO! Why are we even having this stupid conversation!? Lets just collect the 7 dedly stars and collect the treasure.

Mario: Yeah. OJ doing weird ass stuff won't help us get the treasure anyway. Lets go see what the hell's inside.

They walked inside spotting a big treasure chest. Read, as they find out what the fuck is inside!

Koops: Is that the treasure from the 1000 year door!?

Goombella: Koops. You know where the 1000 year door is...

Koops: Oh right. We were talking about treasure so I got mixed up for second.

Mario: Well...It doesn't look like we need a key. Which is good cause the guy who made this box was probably a lazy fuck anyway.

Goombella: How do you know it's a "guy?"

Mario: Jesus fuck. Are we really having this conversation?

Mario cluelessly opens the box and grabbing a pair of blue shoes! He raised them high above his head like he was in a fucking Zelda game. DA DA DA DAAAAAA!... Its not as funny or as easy to get when your reading... So anyway, the background isolated Mario in an atmosphere of nothing but white with small red polkadots. It wasn't a Black Spirit this time.

Mario: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT NOW!?

Toadette (Age 1015) (Might as well be 15): Hiya!

Mario: THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN WHEN I FIND NEW SHOES BITCH!

Toadette: Heehee... Your funny. My names Toadette! I'm the 1 who built the treasure box silly. Congratulations on finding the Super Boots!

Mario: Okay. A: their called "shoes" retard. B: That is the worst name I've even heard of for shoes ever. I swear, I am going to chuck them hard at you.

Toadette: These cool kicks increase your power level! And you'll even access an even stronger spin jump attack! So let's practice it, OK?

Mario: How about, no! I think I know how to fucking ass slam people. I mean, who the hell do you think I am!? I'm Mario! Thats who! Now get me out of here before I demonstrate my new attack on your face whore!

Toadette: Did you know you can use the spin jump in battle too. To do this, press-

Mario: Yeah yeah... How about..

Mario followed through as he jumped in the air above Toadette and crushed her to deth as he dropped it like it was hot on her face with his GLUTEUS MAXIMUS!

The background turned back to normal since Mario killed the robotic seeming Toad.

Koops: Mario! Are you alright!?

Goombella: Great... You got cursed again didn't you.

Mario: No... I just got deez new shoes nigga!

Mario looked down realizing that he's wearing the shoes even though he himself never put on the dang shoes.

Mario: How'd those get on there?

Goombella: So you just got new shoes? Like, thats it?

Mario: New shoes that can kick your ass. Oh hey! You were right. It was a female who made the chest. Does that make you feel better!?

Goombella: No.

Flurrie: Maybe those shoes can somehow help the Punies escape from that mean ol' cage.

Mario: That doesn't make sense but okay...

Goombella: I still don't see why we couldn't just grease up the Punies.

Mario: I still don't see why they couldn't just walk out. It's very obvious that they can fit through the bars no problem.

As the 100 Punies were awaiting for the return from the heroes and STILL never figured out that they can individually fit through the damn bars, Petuni was being an annoying 11 year old and forced all the Punies to play her retarded "Stump Petuni" game.

Petuni: Come on guys!? Don't any of you have any more question for me!?

Puniko: For the last time, no! Were sick of playing your dumb game!

Pentuni: What do you mean "Dumb!?" I'd say its pretty smart! You learn answers to things you ask me.

Punicholi: Then how come you've been flipping a shit every time you've gotten a wrong answer? Plus you've never even answered a single question since we got caged!

Petuni: That's because your guys' questions are too stupid! Like, they don't even make any sense! "Whats the meaning of life?" Bleg! "How many eggs can fit in a carton for a dozen eggs?" Shleesh! "How many legs do I have?" Like I'M supposed to know that. I can't like, see myself right!?

Puness: Fine. Uhh... How much wood can a wood... if a... Shit. I forgot how it goes... Okay. How about, why did the chicken cross the road?

Petuni: ... WHAT!? NO FAIR! Thats not even a real question!

Petuni bit Puness's bulb in his antenna.

Puness: OOWWWWW! WHY DID YOU BITE ME ON MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN!?

Oh... Did I not mention thats how Punies mate and masterbate? Mybad. You might need to reevaluate some of your visuals from this story now.

Puniper: Hey! I got 1! *snickers* Who was the first person you've had sex with?

Petuni: Oh haha. You just want me to say my brother...

Petuni: HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Petuni started laying a mystical egg from her... uhhh... ass! It hurt alot. She was screaming and it was quite painful and most of all, funny!

Punio: What the fuck is that!?

Puniper: That's your fucking child you incest loving freak.

Punio: I WAS POSSESSED BY THE FUCKING ORB YOU FAT ASSHOLE!

Puniper: Hehehehehehe. Dumb ass.

Pentuni: No... Thats just the egg I lay when some1 asks a question I can answer in "Stump Petuni."

Punikki: That doesn't make any sense.

Punathan: I'm just gonna go with the incest alternative.

The rest of the punies that never talk for some reason ever: Yeah!

Punio: Aw-a- AWWW! Come on guys!

Awkward silence

Puniper: So... What are you naming it?`

At short last, Mario and the rest of his odd team returned like a quartet of badasses kind of.

Mario: Hey! So you pansies never found out how to get out of here huh!?

Punio: Oh hey Mario. You finally decided to came back.

Punikki: Yeah really you fat fuck who abandoned us here! Hey! Why'd you come back? Did you leave your twinkies in here!?

Koops: There were twinkies?

Goombella: No Koops. That's just a fat joke.

Mario: At least im smart enough to find a way out of the fucking cages you grey blobs with cocks on your heads!

Puness: Yeah. Then you probably forgot about the mission because you went out to bathe in a hotdog stand you lard ass!

Mario: ...What?

Punicholai: Yeah! And you probably think your love life is great when life is actually really meaningless.

Puniko: Are those new shoes? They look gay as hell!

Puniper: He's just a stupid jew who thinks he's a fucking wop.

Mario: The fuck you say!? I'f I hear 1 more dipshit comment like that!? I will personally come in that cage, and kill all your asses. You hear me? ALL OF YOUR FUCKING ASSES

Another awkward silence.

Petuni: Hey Mario? Wanna play an annoying game of mine?

Mario: THATS IT! I got a game right here. Its called "My Foot in your all of your Asses!"

Mario pressed his man meat bags together to conjure the horrid liquid that happens to be his body grease. He then slid through the bars. He got up and roared like a fuckin T Rex.

Mario: I'll KILL YOU BITCH!

Petuni: WAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mario jumped above her and started to do that unnecessary flip thing he does before ground pounding like in the 3D Mario games. A shadow ascended above Petuni's head that happened to be the eclipse of the ass of Mario. As he was doing the flip, Petuni ran off screaming for dear life.

Petuni dodged Mario's new attack despite him already learning it in Super Mario 64 and other games later. I think the drugs make him forgot some of his moves. That explains him not being able to punch in Super Mario Galaxy. Anyway, right as Petuni dodged him, he ass slammed right through the floor like a retarded Loony Tunes character.

Mario landed on an ass and was briefly paralyzed on his back from the dangerous fall. Yeah, he was in alot of pain despite not losing any HP.

Mario: This... should not... happen to 43 year olds...ever...

Punio: Look everyone! A way to escape!

Petuni: Yeah bro! Let's land on him so we can have a safe fall.

Mario: Wait what? Nooo!

All 100 of the Punies landed on Mario's stomach safely yet violently.

Punio: You saved us! Yes! Yes!

Petuni: 3 Cheers for Mario's giant smelly italian ass.

Mario: What? No! I don't want a fucking cheer!

All the Punies: Hip hip... HOORAY!

Mario: No. St- Stop!

All the Punies: Hip hip... HOORAY!

Mario: God damnit! Stop it!

All the Punies: Hip hip... HOORAY!

Mario: I'll kill you all!

The rest of Mario's partners traveled through the warp pipe.

Goombella: Nice fall Mario.

Koops: Wow! You need any help getting up!?

Mario: No! Fuck you both! IN THEE ASS!

Flurrie: Don't mind if I do.

Flurrie started to sit on Mario's dick as she was about to force him to enter her ass with his dick!

Mario: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Mario hopped away from Flurrie in sheer fright of Flurrie's her old ass anal cavity.

Mario: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!

Mario started crying and beating up Flurrie out of self defense. [No damage]

Goombella: Mario! You just beat the crap out of Flurrie!

Mario: SHE WAS TRYING TO RAPE ME AGAIN! Plus. I was doing the readers a favor.

Flurrie landed on her back in a disfigured pose.

Flurrie: So... turned... on...

Koops: Cool. So now that we've gotten that shindig taken care of, let's go find that dedly star.

Mario: Yes. Lets. Also, STOP TRYING TO CALL THE FUCKING SHOTS YOU PRICK!

Koops: Oh geez... Sorry...

Mario: No! You don't get it That's my job asshole!

Koops: Okay... I get it...

Chapture 3 - 15: Robotnik goes Berzerkerz!

Koops: Hey Goombella, weird question, but do girls like... name their boobs and junk?

Goombella: How the fuck should I know!?

Koops: Oh... I'm like, sorry.

Goombella: You need to stop starting bizarre conversations with me or I'll kill you where you stand.

Koops: Yeah I know...

Meanwhile as Team M progressed to being closer and closer to the room with the star in it (spoiler alert I know), a foul horny creature without any pants or underwear lurked in the room beyond their own knowledge.

Robotnik: Hmm... That dedly dildo otta be around here somewhere. I swear. Searching for this thing is really starting to irritate the tip of my fucking dick! All I wanna do right now is huff a paper bag's worth of wood cleaner, and glue my penis to the ceiling while incresting my body in the finest jewels so I can pretend to be a chandelier! THAT'S WHY I NEED TO FIND AND SMASH THAT STAR THING!

Robotnik suddenly heard some strange voices from a far getting closer.

Mario: Shut up Koops! Stop asking me such stupid questions!

Koops: Aww gee whiz...

Robotnik: VOICES! They must have escaped from my rape cage where I rape people... AH SHIT I GOTTA HIDE! Maybe I can rape them when they least expect my PENIS! Haha yeah thats how its done.

Team M and the Punies entered the room.

Flurrie: Well personally, I named my tataas after my ded step parents. Helga and Humphrey.

Koops: Wow...

Mario: Couldn't you have picked hotter names. Like I don't know... maybe like, Tiffany or Candy?

Goombella: Those sound like stripper names.

Mario: Exactly.

Koops: I'm hungry.

Flurrie soon randomly noticed another Puni orb holding thingy for 100 Punies with a matching platform underneath.

Flurrie: Look dearies! Its another orb holder.

Goombella: Wait... shouldn't we look around for traps this time. So you know, we DON'T get locked in the cage again!

Petuni: I think we're fine. After all, if it is a cage, we'll just use Mario's big drunk ass to bust through the floor.

All the Punies: Mario's ass! Mario's ass!

Mario: ... I'm just gonna put the fucking ball inside.

Punio: NOOOOOOOOOOO!111

All of the Punies ran quickly and stepped on the platform to avoid another fuckin orgy.

Suddenly, an overhyped minor transition occurred that had the Star of Envy to emerge from 1 of the fountain like statues and hovered above them for a dumb dramatic effect.

Koops: MARIO, LOOK! LOOK LOOK LOOK! IT'S THE DEDLY STAR!

Mario: THE FUCK KOOPS! STOP YELLING IN MY FUCKING EAR! FUCK!

I little bit of blood rushed down Mario's ear.

Koops: Gosh golly Mario. Im sorry...

Mario: And get the fuck away from me! Your breath still smells like garlic cheezy bread!

Koops: Mybad dude...

Mario: Where the fuck do you keep getting this garlic cheezy bread!?

Koops: Uhh... No idea bro.

Suddenly while Mario was yelling at Koops, Robotnik popped out of no where and swiped the Star.

Robotnik: Haha yeah!

Goombella: GOD DAMNIT!

Mario: Fuck! I forgot to grab it!

Flurrie: Oh, dear! That voluptuous man stole our star! Dearie me!

Robotnik: HAR HAR HAR HAR HAAAARRR! Oh man, am I good or what? Or am I just DAYAMN SEXY BIATCH!? "

Flurrie: Indeed sexy I must say indeed.

Goombella: Can you NOT flirt with the enemy!?

Robotnik: THATS RIGHT CUMWIESLES! You activated my trap card! You see, my sexual like instincts told me that the star would be here. I mean, come on! This is obviously the kind of fuck den that would hold the dedly fucking star! Yeah, I knew you all would escape from my unbreakable cage! And I knew you meat bags would find this room and find the next star so I can smash it up and INCREST THE SMAR PIECES ALL OVER MY GRACIOUS NAKED BODY and NOW IT'S ALL MINE! So I just needed your sorry fucking assholes to fall right into my lap. Oh... OOOOOOOOOHHHH! WHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!1

A juicy ass cumshot bursted in Robotnik's diaper.

Robotnik: I JUST CAME IN MY DIAPER GUYS!

Koops: Why does it smell like ranch?

Robotnik: If you were listening, you would know that I LOVE INJECTING CRAZY SHIT IN MY FUCKING TESTACLES!

Robotnik: So since you all brought me the star thing, I'm gonna give you a little treat.

Robotnik said this as he unzipped his pants causing his dong to flash.

Everyone else but Flurrie: AWWWW!1

Puniper: I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FUCKING DICK!

Punathan: It's got so many freckles!

Flurrie: Oh myy...

Koops: Why does it bend 82 degrees to the right on the middle!?

Robotnik tightly grabbed his dick, and pulled a giant cartoony remote with a red button on it straight out of his urethra.

Mario: How the fuck did he just do that!?

Robotnik: Hor hor hor... You see this in my hands!? Oh, just a little something I like to call, "A REMOTE THAT ACTIVATES A TIME-BOMB THAT DETONATES THE TREE IN 5 MORE MINUTES DEVICE! I keep it in a special place for PAIN! and PLEASURE!

Punoa: SHIT!

Robotnik: I got the idea from my new favorite movie "Fight Club"! Have you seen that Brad Pitt in that movie!? SOOOO HAAAWWWWTTT!

Mario: I've had enough talking assclown! I don't give a shit about the fucking tree or the punies! I'm just here to collect that star, and collect the rest of the goddamn stars so I can open the big ass 1000 year door and move on from this fuck forsaken shit! So are we gonna do this the hard way where I kick your ass and get the star, or are we doing this the easy way where you give me the star and I still kick your ass anyway!

Flurrie: I feel like I have a boner right now...

Robotnik: Don't even try to kick her! Thats right! My unkempt ass is a "she!" Because she can sure take it like a bitch oh yes she can!

Robotnik tapped the button enabling the 5 minute countdown.

Background music: Bring back the Bomb by GWAR

Robotnik: 5 more minutes till this planet... I mean TREE blows up bitch!

Goombella and Koops: YOU STOLE THAT LINE FROM DRAGON BALL Z!

Robotnik: NO I DIDN'T! I SAID "TREE!" SHUT UP!

Mario: So out of all the obvious Dragon Ball Z rip offs you've seen, you guys chose to complain about that 1?

Robotnik: Any doo doo, I'm gonna smoke some DANK OL' WEED NIGGA! Enjoy 5 MORE MINUTES OF NOT BEING BLOWN UP! MWACOCKCOCKCOCKCOCKCOCKCOCKCOCK!

Robotnik farted a fart so strong that he broke through the ceiling. This fart looked exactly like the Wario's Down B move in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Koops and the rest of the Punies started panicking and running around in circles.

Koops: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Mario: DAMNIT! HE GOT AWAY! Quick! Some1! Get me a Burrito! I'm going after him!

Goombella: HOW WOULD THAT WORK!?

Mario: ANY KIND OF SPIK FOOD WORKS! I DONT CARE!

Koops: WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE!

Goombella: STOP BEING RACIALLY INSENSITIVE!

Mario: I'M NOT! I'M MAKING A GOD DAMN POINT!

Goombella: YOU STILL SHOULDN'T SAY THAT!

Mario: YOU WERE BASHING PUNIES FOR LIVING IN TREES NOT TOO LONG AGO!

Goombella: THAT DOESN'T COUNT! PUNIES DON'T EXIST ON THE READER'S PLANET SO ITS NOT RACIST!

Koops: WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!?

Mario: THAT IS AN OUTRAGEOUSLY TERRIBLE POINT!

Goombella: GOD YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID!

Mario: OH YEAH? WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A-

Flurrie: EVERYONE!

Everyone looked at Flurrie!

Flurrie: We gotta get out of here.

Everyone else: Oh yeah.

After that crazy yelling scene. Team M started actually keeping a somewhat cool head as they tried running out the tree. Picture it like how it was in the game. Just this 1ce.

X-Naut #21: Were back for revenge Mario!

X-Naut #24: Yeah! Were not letting you escape this time!

Mario: Not you X-Nazis again! Look we don't have time for this shit!

Goombella: Yeah! Your leader Robotnik is gonna blow up the fucking tree and we gotta leave NOW!

X-Naut #21: Yeah right! The guys nuts, but he's not gonna like, blow up the tree man! Thats suicide!

X-Naut #24: Ehh... 21? I don't know? What if they're telling the truth?

X-Naut #21: No way! This is payback time for that concussion I'm still fairly injured from.

Koops: Uhh... Is that why you're that still has that alarming looking dent on it?

X-Naut #21: SHUT UP! 24! Let's brutally kick their asses!

X-Naut #24: Gee... Alright.

[BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 63

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

FP: 10

V.S.

X-Naut #21: Power Level 5/10

X-Naut #24: Power Level 10

Mario: Umm... yeah. Just so you know, last time you cunt faces fought me, my power level was like, 20/30. Its at rule 63 now. I mean JUST 63! So that means im like, 10 times stronger now.

X-Naut #24: Uhh... 21? You still sure this is a good idea. You still look really injured! Like, if there was an ER around, Id leave you there.

X-Naut #21: Yeah! Come on dude! He's bluffing! We got this. Like, yeah. We got this.

X-Naut #24: Gee… You alright?

Mario: since Goombella did her tattle shit on you, Koops! Your up.

Koops: Finally!

Koops uses bowling ball shell attack at X-Naut #21 causing him to stub his toe so hard that he actually fainted: [2 Damage]

Mario: HA! 1 down! See that X-Fuck! You look like a retarded mix of a Nazi and KKK member that took the shape of a short fat fucking bowling ball shaped midget!

Mario uses regular double jump attack on the X-Naut's head knocking him out for the remainder of the chapture: [4 Damage]

[END OF LAME BATTLE]

Punio: Wow! That didn't even last long enough for them to get a turn.

Mario: Dude. Stop acting like you were a part of this fight.

Punio: Id get in a stupid arguement with you with right now, but we don't have alot of time.

Mario: Yeah. No shit...

Koops: I just realized that we could have ridden on Flurrie through the ceiling hole Robotnik like... farted through.

Flurrie: I like that sound of that.

Goombella: Your bringing this up now!? Can she even carry all of us plus 100 Punies?

Koops: It would have uhh be worth a shot I guess. I don't like... know.

Goombella looked over at the unconscious X-Nauts.

Goombella: Shouldn't we help them too?

Mario: Don't care! We gotta go! NOW!

Koops: Wow. We get distracted really easily in dire situations.

They immediately continued running. As they made it to the front door of the tree, they were stopped by an intense argument with the Elder Puni and Robotnik.

Robotnik: FUCK YOU BITCH! Everyone knows that I am the greatest hooker of all time!

Elder Puni: Pfft... Oh please, back in my prostitution days, I was getting arrested and I bump ugliesed with the guards for fun!

Robotnik: Oh yeah, well I used to be Bullet Bill Gate's ass slave for 5.24 years! He won me at a hooker auction and boy he really knew how to make a tidal wave in my asshole with his titanic! Top that!

Elder Puni: Thats some baby shit right there. Try getting octa penetrated by Kthulu every weekend!

Goombella: What the hell are we listening to?

Robotnik: Kthulu is my bitch. I like to get chained up by Marvel's Galactus as he raped all of my insides with his galactically superior cock in my ass! I don't know which was harder, getting his entire dick in me, or me trying not to slip inside his urethra while he was fucking me!

Elder Puni grew to the size of an Elephant out of dramatic effect.

Elder Puni: Do not talk shit about Kthulu!

Robotnik: HIS BEAUTIFUL COCK IS BIGGER THAN THIS FUCKING PLANET!

Something suddenly snapped inside Elder Puni. Her groin snaps.

Elder Puni: My groin! Damnit... Not now!

Robotnik: Haha! Your just a dried up old shrewd! Now get out of my way before I rape you! ... Fuck it. I'LL RAPE YOU RIGHT NOW!

Mario: There you are scum fuck!

Mario got Robotnik's attention.

Mario: I'm gonna shove your faggot cape down your throat, and pull it out your ass, and swing you onto a moving car and kill you!

Robotnik: What are you trying to do, turn me on!? Hehe!

Goombella: Hey. Hasn't it been well over 5 more minutes by now?

Koops: Yeah. We should've like... blown up by now.

Punio: Yeah! What gives?

Robotnik whispers to himself in his head.

Robotnik: Damn... I forgot to wire the explosives inside the tree... Maybe I shouldn't have been so busy licking that butthole statue in that weird room from chapture 3 - 14. I gotta come up with something fast.

Robotnik: Uhh... yes well... You see... ...hh... 5 More Minutes till this tree blows up!

Robotnik states as he holds up 4 of his fingers plus a thumb.

Puniper: Yeah, but you just said that.

Goombella: You... forgot to wire the explosives didn't you?

Mario: Pfft. Dumbass...

Robotnik: ... uhh... MAGNUS VAG GRAPPLE!

Background Music: E.G.G.M.A.N. by Paul Shortino

Robotnik got on his knees and ripped off his shirt and pants exposing his big ass gut and diaper he had been wearing since he the first fight against Mario.

The earth began to shake again.

Mario: WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?

Robotnik: CUM FORTH AS I SUMMON YOU! ASSBITCHCUNTDICKERECTIONFUCKGAYSEXHORNYIMSJACKOFFKOOTCHLABIAMANSTRATIONNUTSACKOVARIANPUSSYQUEERRANDYSHITTITSURETHRAVOLVAWANKERXXXYCHROMAZONE!

The crazy ass ritual summoned a 20 foot tall boxy shaped pink robot with long zig zaggy arms and legs and a white X symbolizing their logo. A glass dome covered his body very much like a robot from a Sonic game. Why else do you think I replaced Lord Crump with Robotnik in this story. Yeah. Basically were getting into some crazy mecha shit right here.

Robotnik did a high flip jump where he landed inside the cockpit. The chair of course had a dildo connected to the seat area in which he did indeed sit in a penetrating fashion. Think of it like the "IT" episode from South Park

Robotnik: Behold! My Magnus Vag Grapple! I made this out of supplied I bought at Home Depot! I made it pink so it would remind me of pussy! It also grapples onto all kinds of crazy private parts you clowns have!

Punio: Whoa!

Petuni: Its so huge.

Punathan: It looks dumb.

Puniko: It smells funny.

Puniper: Why is it pink again?

Mario: Ha! No amount of protection you put on will change the magnitude of how thrashed your gonna get by my fist!

Goombella: Dude! He's piloting a mecha. We might be screwed.

Mario: We'll be fine. This fucktard is way too horny to think clearly!

Robotnik: Don't be so sure about that you fucking wop!

[BOSS BATTLE MODE]

Mario: Power Level 63

Goombella: Power Level 18

Koops: Power Level 30

Flurrie: Power Level 30

FP: 10

V.S.

Magnus Vag Grapple (Robotnik): Power Level 90

Battle Music: TV Crimes by Black Sabbath

[TURN 1]

Robotnik: Are you all cumming to my sexy robot yet!? Sorry, but this thing is armed with lots of shit, but not semen tissues. Thats what my diaper is for! You shall all face mercy as my vibrating buddy here crushes you flat. It vibrates so much, it makes my prostate region all tingly!

Koops: Wow! This guy is like... really horny!

Goombella: Yeah! He's hornier than I remember!

Mario: He even hornier than me! So horny, that imma have to kick his ass for it!

Goombella uses tattle: Magnus... Vag Grapple. Robotnik's robot he uses for battle and other purposes beyond what this book is allowed to talk about. It's got a power level of 90 with a Defense of 1. Which is pretty sad especially since Hooktail's was at 105. So that means that this boss is seemingly weaker. Although, I'd be careful not to underestimate it.

Mario: Hmm... I can't think of any good insults for Robotnik. I think he might get off to just about anything I can say to him. I guess I'll try shooting for his robot. He seems to have an emotional attachment to it. Hey! Magnus! You look like the box shaped dildo used to penetrate whales! You probably make their pussies bleed with your sharp edges. You are also the single greatest embarrassment to every single Mecha in the history of the entire Mecha Universe and you should feel bad!

Robotnik: Hey! I find that comment to be rather sexy! AND DEEPLY OFFENSIVE TO MY ROBOT! You hurt it's feelings! I feel for him because I AM A ROBOPHILIAC!

Mario: Yes. I'm aware...

Mario started the long awaited battle off with giving his new gay looking blue shoes by doing a regular jump attack on the robot's head: [2 Damage]

Robotnik: Okay! You like giving pain huh!? Try, RECEIVING PAIN! BEWARE! MY MAGNIFICUNT FOOT FETISH ROBOT STOMP!

As Robotnik was planning his stomp attack, he was indecisively planning out who he was going to step on by switching who his foot was hovered over. He eventually chose to step on Goombella thinking it would turn her on: [2 Damage]

Robotnik: Take that you fuck nuggler!

[TURN 2]

Goombella uses-

Goombella: Shit. I'm too weak... I mean... uhh... I can't... fuck. Koops! You want in on this!?

Koops: Sure!

Mario: Haha! You can't fight the boss cause its defense is too high you suck haha!

Goombella: Shut up before I kick you in the mouth!

Goombella swapped places with Koops because she can't fight a robot worth shit.

Mario used his new ground pound attack for the first time in this series. He jumped high as fuck and delt with his fat ass [4 Damage] on the glass part of his cock pit

Robotnik: AHA! You only gave me a boner with a new consept to masterbate to!

Robotnik uses his robo foot fetish foot of pain to stomp Mario: [2 Damage]

Robotnik: Take that you naughty little boy!

Mario: I will strangle you, you son of a bitch!

[TURN 3]

Koops stubbed Magnus' foot by doing a badass shell slam. If it was a human like what happened to X-Naut 21, that shit would get infected easily: [1 Damage]

Mario preformed yet another ground pound attack on the head on the Sex-bot: [4 Damage]

Robotnik: Oh boy! Next time, take off your pants and do that! And fart on it! Oh and have a little shit smeared on it too?

Koops: No offense Mario, but this guy seems kind of weak...

Mario: Dude! Dont say "no offense" when its not needed! Or ever. Its dumb. Also, we are annihilating his ass big time. Robotnik! You got any bigger guns?

Robotnik: As a matter of fag, I do! Behold! MAGNUS VAG ROCKET FISTS OF FISTING PEOPLE!

Robotnik's bot of sex manually detached it's hands from it's arms as they floated in the air despite flames spewing out of them. Aren't they supposed to be mobile if they have FLAMES spewing out horizontally!? Physics right?

Robotnik: When I'm done with you, im gonna treat myself to sucking the whipped cream I just injected into my balls out of my dick, then into my mouth, through my intestines then finally, OUT MY ASS!

Robotnik: PREPARE TO GET ROYALLY FISTED!

Robotnik somehow skipped his turn so he can show off his rocket fists like a horny retard. So it is now Team M's turn.

[TURN 4]

Koops did another shell slam damaging Magnus' foot even further!: [1 Damage]

Mario pulled out the Ice Cocaine he bought earlier. He smashed the ice thing on the ground and started chopping it up with Wario's credit card.

Koops: Gee... Are you sure thats safe.

Mario: It's just sharp crystal specs of pure drugs entering my nazile cavity dumbass! How bad can it be?

Mario carelessly snorted the whole damn thing at 1ce and sneezed cold air so freezing, that it dealt Magnus and his fists [3 Damage]. It destroyed the hell out of the fists and froze the engine of the main machine.

Robotnik: No! NOO! Come on! Work it baby! You gotta work it! AWW!

Mario: This is getting really pathetic fast.

Robotnik: Thats it! You leave me no choice!

Robotnik hopped out of Magnus and started doing a hot sexy stripper dance while rubbing parts of his body on the Mecha. while still wearing his dirty diaper he shat in 5 or 6 times by now.

Robotnik: Yeah. Mmmm... Yeah... Betcha liek dat doncha! Yeah! Yeah! Take it! mmmmmmmmm Take it like a bitch baby! Yeah! YEAH! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Koops: Shouldn't we attack him?

Mario: The game won't let us since it's not our turn.

Koops: Aww man…

Robonik: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Robotnik had a full body orgasm so hard that it made the penile part of his diaper blast off.

Battle Music: Gattai Nante Kusokurae! from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann OST

The steamy hot stripper dance of Robotnik majically warmed up the Robot and the engine started running again.

Robotnik: FIGHTING SPIRIT!

Robotnik jumped back into his robot like a professional olympian diver and geared back into bizarre mecha combat.

Robotnik re penetrated himself with the dildo seat in sheer eloquence.

Robotnik: I DON'T CALL THIS THE COCKPIT FOR NOTHING!

Robotnik got really excited it started working again, he got really excited to the point where he started stomping the floor alot in asspiesh ecstasy. This worked like a POW block effect so it knocked Koops on his back and dealt [2 Damage All]

[TURN 5]

Koops: AAAAHHHHHH! I CAN'T GET UP!

Mario: Got damnit! Koops is in his vegetative state again!

Koops: No! I just can't get off my back!

Mario: You bitch. Welp... Might as well use this.

Mario pulled out the Star of Wrath out of his overalls and held it above his head.

Mario: How does this work again...

Goombella: The star channels your wrath into energy! Remember!?

Mario: Not following you...

Goombella: Get mad stupid.

Mario: But i'm always mad.

Goombella: Stop being difficult and yell at him!

Mario: LISTEN HERE ROBOTNIK! THERES ONLY 2 THINGS YOUR GOOD FOR IN THIS WORLD! KILLING YOURSELF AND GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED! BY ME! YOU ARE THE UGLIEST CRETIN IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND NOT EVEN HITLER DESERVES TO BE BURIED NEXT TO YOUR GRAVE YOU STUPID FOUL UGLY FUCK!

Robotnik: Has anyone ever told you that you have a really pretty mouth for talking dirty!?

The star started glowing and growing.

Mario: hehe... yeah... laugh now bitch.

Mario hopped on the star as it did a seismic fucking earth tremor attack that only did damage to Robotnik for the sake of the continuity of no friendly fire: [6 Damage]

The Machine started sparking as it only has 3/10 of its life still left.

Robotnik: It's that part of the epic fucking mecha battle is it!? Well stand back as I am about to show you 1 last trick in my diaper! BEHOLD!

2 double doors from the bottom of Magnus' body opened and a large metal rod shaped like a dick with a drill for it's head bursted out and took the form of a rocket. I mean, it's a fucking rocket robot drill dildo dick!

Robotnik: WITNESS THE RAPE OF MY ALL POWERFUL MAGNUS VAG COCK!

Mario: Good lord!

Robotnik's robot cock drilled into Mario's mouth breaking 6 of his own teeth: [10 Damage]

[TURN 6]

Mario: AHHH! FUCK THAT HURT!

Mario held his mouth in utter pain and noticed his hands were covered in a shit ton of blood.

Mario: Wow! Holy Fuck i'm bleeding! OWW!

Robotnik: You can pay me later for the dental work! I'LL HOLD YOUR TAB!

Koops: I don't get it.

Flurrie: Mario! Let me tag in. I wanna party with that big hot metal doohickey of his...

Koops: I don't get that either.

Flurrie: Trust me. That thing is indestructible! But I have a sexxxy idea...

Mario: Fine. You're the porn star... use to be...whatever

Koops: Shucks... I just got back up too...

Mario swapped Koops out for Flurrie.

Mario continued to bleed out the mouth a shit ton.

Mario: This bleeding has to stop. Flurrie! Mushroom!

Flurrie pulled out a bag of shrooms and tried feeding it to Mario sexually by guiding it around Mario's bloody lips.

Mario: JUST FEED ME THE FUCKING MUSHROOM ALREADY SKANK!

Flurrie fed Mario the mushroom: +5HP

Mario: Welp. It stopped the bleeding, but it only grow 3 of my teeth back...

Robotnik dealt another dick fire that was directed at Flurrie this time making her half blind in a very horrifyingly gory way.: [10 Damage]. As soon as she eats another shroom, she'll grow it back.

[TURN 7]

Robotnik: My asshole is the best part of my body!

Flurrie: I recieve black eyes more infected than that for breakfast!

Mario: Its true.

Flurrie uses appeal for the sake of sheer narcissism. No star power was given to Flurrie's ugly face cause she was so ugly.

Mario: Well that was a humiliating waste of a turn.

Mario performs yet another ground pound attack on Robotnik making him even hornier with more things to jack it to: [4 Damage]

Robotnik: TIME FOR ANOTHER STEAMY DOSE OF MY GIANT ROBOT DRILLDO!

The drilldo cock flew straight at Flurrie yet again.

Flurrie: Yess... come on... come on...

Magnus' cock was milliseconds away from impacting Flurrie when suddenly.

Flurrie: NOW!

Flurrie stretched opened her pusswah and countered it by trapping the dick in her void of existential anguish being her vadgelly.

Robotnik: … Holy Shit!

[TURN 8]

Mario did 1 more ground pound attack really smashing the shit out of Magnus: [4 Damage]

The robot was barely operational and almost ded with a couple flames spawning out of its body.

Robotnik: I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP! OYEFHEOFINGOSDSODJGSDOJGSBNDGOJSDBGOJSKN!

Flurrie: TIME FOR THE CLIMACTIC MOMENT OF THE CLIMAX!

Flurrie performs a boob slam so hard that it actually obliterated Magnus Vag Grapple with her unpleasantly heavy rack. Flurrie and Robotnik were unharmed luckilly this act: [1 Damage] yeah...

[LEVEL UP]

Mario leveled up to level 8 where he upgraded his BP to 12!

[END OF BOSS BATTLE]

Robotnik flew upwards on a cloud of smoke and landed flat on his face.

Robotnik got on his knees and his face started to quiver in countless layers of sadness.

Robotnik: ww...ww..www...w...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! EHHH EHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Robotnik: WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EH EH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!11

Robotnik rolled on the floor and spent about 10 minutes of spewing snot and shit and doing that going blind thing that some people do when they cry alot while everyone got in a circle and watched.

Mario: Haha. What a bitch.

Robotnik: MAGNUS! IM SO SORRY! I LOVED YOU SO MUCH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GONE! YOUR SEXY ROBOT BOD' IS GOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!11 MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM! MMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

During Robotnik's tantrum, he ripped off his blastedly soiled diaper and chucked it at Koops' face.

Koops: Hey…

Robotnik got up and started crying even more and pulled even more shit out of his asshole where he continuously kept trying to throw shit at all of the Team M members including the Punies and painfully missing and splattering the wall.

He then started grabbing his crotch and rubbed his body and licked the shit smeared walls for no reason.

Goombella: Should he help him?

Mario: Nah. This is pretty funny.

Koops: Guys! Look what I found in his diaper guys!

Koops held up the shit covered Star of Envy.

Goombella: Nice Koops! We have 2 out of the 7 stars now!

Mario: About time.

Robotnik started crying even more while rolling around in his own vile waste.

Gombella: Also, you totally need to wash your hands big time! And the star!

Koops: Yeah I know.

Robotnik got up and kept running around naked covered in his own fecal matter like some berserk demon possessed monkey.

Rbotnik: OHLALALALALALALAL OHHHOOOOHHHOHLALLALALALALLALALALALAL OLALALALALA OHALALALLLALLALAL!

He started running towards Madame Flurrie.

Robotnik: This is all your fault my favorite porn star ever you!

Robotnik tackled Flurrie and started making out of her!

Flurrie: Mmmmmm...oh…. oh yeah….mmmm How…mmmmmmmm... Arousing…

Flurrie and Robotnik started rolling around on the floor making out and soon began making sex.

Mario: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Goombella: OH MY GOD!

Koops: Oh the Horror.

Mario Goombella and Koops: BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! ! ! ! !

Punio: OH THE HUMANITY!

Goombella: Where did you come from Punio?

Punio: I was here the whole time. So were the rest of us.

Puni Elder: Yes. And thank you all with kind gratitude for saving our tree and saving our race. We are forever in your debt.

Koops: Uhh... Cool.

Petuni: Thank you Team M!

Puniper: Yeah! You guys totally didn't suck ass!

Goombella: Hehe... Don't mention it.

Mario: Yeah. Were not very good with handling thank yous.

Puni Elder: Well if theres anything you all need, let us know.

Mario: There is.

Elder Puni: Yes?

Mario: Bitch let us crash here for the night! Flurrie briefly mentioned that you things grow weed. So yeah. We demand we sleep in that room.

Puni Elder: That is fine. We have an even deeper basement where we keep the weed. That's why the X-Nauts never found it. Would you like us to pull out some mattresses?

Mario: If you guys have a shit ton of weed, we'll gladly sleep on just like, I don't know. I pile of it.

Koops: Dude! Were gonna get so high Goombella.

Goombella: Hell yeah we are! I can use some dope after getting stepped on earlier.

Punio: So Elder, did I show great leadership or what?

Elder: Ehh... It sounds like Mario mostly ran the show from what I read.

Punio: Aww come on... Did I at least show those 5 characteristics that you were talking about?

Elder Puni: What?

Punio: You... went on a long tangent about it on chapture 3 - 12!

Elder: Oh yeah... Well fuck that shit. Who cares.

Punio: Fuck!

Puniper: Heheehehehee

Punio: SHUT UP FATBOY!

Meanwhile they all looked over at Flurrie and Robotnik having sex.

Petuni: What are we gonna do about them?

Mario: I don't know. I guess we just jack off or something.

Everyone else spontaneously started laughing for the sake of wrapping up the chapture.

Mario: I'm half joking you guys.

Closing theme: Intro To Finale And Closing (2nd half) by Bruce Faulconer

It seems that Mario and the rest of Team M have become mortal enemies with the X-Nauts. Even so, they have returned peace to the Great Tree of Might at long last. The punies circled around them and sang a gay little song of joy and victory that totally didn't rip off that gay scene from How the Grinch Stole Cristmas. Although they have collected a 2nd installment of their Dedly Stars. Will more allies await them? What other kinds of challenges and enemies will these kind of heroes face? Find out when we break on through the other side next chapture of SUPER MARIO AND THE THOUSAND YEAR DRAMA!

- To be continued

Credits:

Credits music playing: I wanna be your dog by The Stooges

Creator: IAMMASTER

Based on a True Game

After Credits: Robotnik and Flurrie were still fucking each other.

Goombella: WHY HAS NO 1 STOPPED THIS!?