A/N You guys are the absolute best and I want to thank you all for being so supportive in your reviews, every single one of them means the world to me and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

...

He tries to mask the shock as he takes the news in. He's too late, he waited thirteen fucking years and now he's too late and he's lost her.

He feels like the biggest asshole in the world.

"You're seeing someone?" He stupidly asks and she nods softly.

"I am. It's serious, we've been seeing each other for a few weeks now"

Her need to clarify how serious this relationship is makes it even worse and the wheels on his head start turning, trying to replay every single moment they had this past week and he realizes he missed a few signals; when she didn't openly flirt with him or when she got nervous if he stepped too close to her, but he's been so preoccupied with everything going on at the firm and with coming to terms with his feelings for her that maybe he didn't want to see it, or didn't bother to actually see it.

She's with someone, and it crushes any opportunity he thought he may have had with her. And suddenly he feels hurt but also so stupid for exposing himself like that.

"That's um… It's great Donna, I'm happy for you" He lies, figuring he can try to salvage whatever's left of his pride by pretending he wasn't about to try to confess that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

"Harvey—" She starts but he interrupts her. Her pity is the last thing he needs right now.

"Tell me about it. Do I know him?" He asks as he takes a sip of water, hoping it can help him fight the panic attack he can feel starting to rise deep inside him.

"Um, yeah, actually I think you do. He's a client. Thomas Kessler?" Her questioning tone has him nodding, of course he knows fucking Kessler, one of the most eligible bachelors left in New York. A rich, successful, handsome, extremely nice guy. Everything Donna deserves and everything he's not. Well he's rich, handsome, and successful too, but Kessler is the kind of man you introduce to your mother, he's the kind of man you commit yourself to for the rest of your life because he's reliable and committed. Two qualities Harvey definitely thinks he doesn't possess.

As far as Harvey is concerned, Kessler is worthy of Donna, while he is not.

"Kessler, of course, yeah, I know him. He seems like a great guy"

"He really is" And her smile as she talks about her beau crushes him even more than her words do. "Are you sure you're okay with me seeing him?" She asks then and he almost chokes on his water.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He questions, trying to make it sound like it's no big deal.

"Well, he's a client and—"

"Donna" He softly interrupts "If you're okay with seeing him despite him being a client, then so am I… It just took me by surprise cause I didn't know your rule only applied to work colleagues''

He knows it's a low blow, he knows he shouldn't have said that, but five minutes ago he was thinking of making out with her on her doorstep after driving her home and now he knows she's going home to someone else and he's angry and hurt.

"That's not fair, Harvey" She averts her eyes to her plate, not being able to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, you're right, it's not" He recognizes as he tries very hard not to show how pissed he actually is, because why did she agree to go out with him if she's seeing someone?.

"Why did you agree to come tonight, Donna?" He decides to ask.

That makes her look up, incredulous, because why shouldn't she have said yes? "Because you told me you wanted to celebrate our new positions, Harvey. You're my friend, that's why I agreed"

They've always been friends but that word has never hurt him as much as it hurts him now.

"Why did you ask me?" She counters back.

"No reason, I just wanted to celebrate, and you're the person I wanted to do it with. After all, you're my friend, right?"

"I am" She confirms and she has one too many reasons to believe he was expecting a different outcome for tonight, but as usual he's not clear, and she's tired of running around in circles with him. It's one of the main reasons she accepted Thomas' invitation to that first date they had a few weeks ago, right after she was promoted.

She told Harvey she wanted something more and the panic in his eyes made it clear that he was terrified she meant more from him, so she can't be completely sure about what he was hoping for tonight. It's best not to push it anyway.

Harvey asks for the check and pays for their dinner. Despite her protest and suggestion to split it, he wouldn't have it, he's always paid every time they go out and that won't change now that she's not his secretary anymore.

The black Lexus is parked outside and she's about to suggest hailing a cab for herself when Harvey beats her to the punch and speaks first.

"Let me give you a ride" He says as he opens the door to the backseat for her.

"Sure" She agrees, they've done this before, actually every time they have dinner, Harvey gives her a ride home afterwards.

It's a short drive to her place and it's mostly spent in silence, they discuss some work-related stuff but they both can tell it's a bit awkward and Harvey hopes he didn't put himself out there too much. It's not like he actually revealed the reason for asking her to dinner, she told him about her brand new boyfriend before he could, but Donna knows him better than anyone and he thinks maybe she knows something is not exactly right.

He walks her to the entrance, his hands tucked in the pockets of his coat, shielding him from the cold and from the urge to touch her.

"I had a great time, Donna" He says softly "Thank you for tonight"

"Of course, Harvey. I had a great time too" This isn't them, and he hates it. It's similar to when she told him she was seeing that guy while she was still working for Louis, Mitchum or something, he can't remember. But back then he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted, or wasn't in a state of mind to acknowledge it, because the truth is that he's always wanted Donna that way, but it wasn't until recently that he figured they could actually make it work if they tried. Goddamn Thomas Kessler, why did he have to appear in her life now?

"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Donna"

"Goodnight Harvey"

He walks back to the car, his heart heavy with regret. He had thirteen years to realize Donna's everything he ever wanted. Now it's too late. He took so long that he was beaten to the punch and now he's lost her, probably for good, and that's just something he'll need to learn how to live with.

…

The next couple of days are tough, it's like since she told him about her new relationship, he sees goddamn Kessler everywhere. He comes by the firm far more often than he usually did, in fact, in all the years since Louis signed him, Harvey is pretty sure he saw the guy two or three times top, but ever since he started seeing Donna he's been there all the time. He brings her coffee and takes her out to lunch, and then he picks her up when the workday is over. Harvey's seen them get into the back of a car more usual than not, and he suspects they are spending at least most of their nights together.

Donna doesn't stay late for a nightcap anymore. He offered a few times and she looked at him apologetically, he even asked if it was because it bothered Thomas, but she said it had nothing to do with that, it was simply because she was tired and her relationship was new and she wanted to spend what was left of the evening with her boyfriend.

And hearing that was worse than if she had stuck a knife into his gut and twisted it. She's happy, she's in a relationship now and she has a life outside of work that doesn't include him in any way.

Nights are the worst part of it. He always felt a sense of calm when arriving at his condo, he loves his apartment and has always enjoyed spending his lonely nights there, living the bachelor's dream life, but lately he hates it.

He hates the loneliness of it, hates having no one to share his life with, and wishes for Donna to be there with him every night, cooking together, cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie or his favorite show. He misses her presence and it's not like she was ever very much present in his life outside of work, it's not like she was ever a constant presence in his condo, but he craves that now. He wishes she were here, he wishes he could share his life with her, but she has decided to share her life with someone else, and the worst part is that he only has himself to blame for that.

He calls it a night after his third scotch, he can use some rest, but the problem with that is that he knows his dreams will probably be plagued by her like they usually are, and he wonders if there's a way to get over someone you never even had.

…

Donna is happy. In fact, she hasn't been this happy in a long time.

Thomas is everything she's ever wanted in a man. He's a gentleman, he is caring and sweet, he's always making sure she feels comfortable and he is very generous in bed. He's the perfect boyfriend, the man every woman dreams of. And yet, despite feeling happy and content in her relationship, there's a nagging feeling that won't leave her alone. She doesn't want to name it, doesn't want to acknowledge it, but it's there and deep down she knows exactly what it is.

Thomas is perfect, but he's not Harvey Specter.

She hates that she feels this way, hates that she can't fully commit to her boyfriend and enjoy her relationship because she can't seem to be able to cut Harvey out of her. He's a constant presence on her mind and she feels like shit whenever he offers a nightcap and she has to turn him down because Thomas is waiting for her.

She feels terrible when he wears a new suit to the office and she can't help but think how amazing he looks in it, it makes her feel guilty as fuck, because she's with Thomas, she cares about her boyfriend a lot and she shouldn't be thinking how good another man looks, no matter how handsome and irresistible he is. She feels like she's cheating and like she shouldn't be having these thoughts about Harvey anymore. That's why she declines his every offer for drinks, because ever since that dinner being near him is way harder. She's pretty sure she saw something different in Harvey that night and feels that if she hadn't told him about Thomas maybe he would have—

No. She can't let herself go there, she can't screw things up with her perfect boyfriend for the possibility of a man that has made it clear more than once over the years that he wants nothing more than friendship from her. She can't keep letting Harvey ruin yet another relationship for her.

You need to let him go, Donna. You need to focus on Thomas and Thomas only.

Easy to say, harder to get it done, but not impossible. Harvey had more than one opportunity to make a move if he wanted something more, and he never did. He's a playboy, he likes sleeping around too much. She's always known that, and over the years she learned to accept that.

But somehow, she couldn't erase the look on his face when she told him she was seeing someone. For a fraction of a second, he looked hurt and defeated, and she was pretty sure she was not imagining things.

…

Thomas is currently all over her. She can feel him pretty much everywhere as he walks her backwards to her front door.

After an amazing night out, where they flirted and threw salacious hints at each other on any given chance, they got into the back of a cab and tried their best not to embarrass themselves in front of the driver.

Thomas makes her feel like a teenager again, he openly wants her all the goddamn time and she immensely appreciates that he doesn't hesitate to show her just how much he desires her all the time. It feels nice to be wanted.

"I have neighbors, you know?" She half jokes, trying to get her purse between them to be able to get her keys.

"I do" He answers with a teasing tone, she can feel his smile against her neck as he sucks on her sensitive skin.

"Keys" She half moans half instructs as she motions for him to fetch the object that will finally get them into her apartment where he can ravish her all night long. "Side pocket" She whispers before latching her mouth to his neck.

"Here" He says as he jingles them in front of her and she freezes.

A single key, hanging from a brown leather key fob. That's not the key to her apartment, that's the spare key to Harvey's condo that she's kept with her for the past thirteen years.

"Donna, are you alright?" Thomas asks, having sobered up at her odd reaction to the object hanging from his finger.

"Yeah, it's just… That's not the key to my apartment" She explains as she takes it from him and puts it back on her purse before retrieving the right set of keys. "Here" She turns around and unlocks the door to her place. Thomas closes the door behind her and follows her into the living room, their previous blissful mood completely ruined.

"Donna, listen. If it belongs to an ex-boyfriend, I understand" He assures her, and how understanding and sweet he is makes her want to smack her head into the wall, because what the hell is wrong with her?.

"It's not. It's Harvey's, I've had it since I was his secretary. I'll give them back to him tomorrow"

"And why are you upset about it?" He asks with confusion and it's a great question. The truth is she doesn't even know why it got her so upset.

"I'm not upset… It's just…" She trails off and Thomas looks at her expectantly, waiting for an explanation she knows he deserves. "I love my new job, I really do, but Harvey and I have been close for a long time, and even though this is exactly what I wanted and I never want back on his desk, I guess sometimes I miss working closely with him and his key is the last thing I have left from that time. I'm not making any sense am I? I feel so stupid" She lowers her head and hopes he won't be too angry by the whole thing.

"Of course it makes sense, you miss your friend" Thomas weighs up and Donna nods, surprised and relieved at his reaction.

"Yeah, I do. You're not mad, are you? I mean, we were having a great time and suddenly—"

"Hey" He stops her as he places his hands on her cheeks and smiles down at her. "I'm not mad, and I understand. Harvey's a big part of your life and I'm not bothered by it in the slightless. He's your best friend and I respect that"

She shakes her head with amazement and slides her arms around his neck "How did I get so lucky with you Mr. Kessler?" She wonders and he chuckles.

"Well, let me take you to bed and show you just how lucky you are" He murmurs and she closes the distance between them, kissing him tenderly.

"Right back at ya" She quips and yelps when he lifts her off the ground and carries her to her bedroom.

…

It's late, and Harvey should have gone home a while ago, but he decided to stay and get ahead of his work, it's not like he has anything better to do anyway.

He's writing an email on his laptop when a jingling sound makes him look up. The first thing he sees is a set of long legs that go for miles, legs he immediately recognizes, legs that so many years ago were wrapped around him— He better not go there—, but he can't not appreciate how great they look with the black short dress she chose to wear today. If he didn't know better, he'd think she intended to kill him with the way she's wearing the hell out of that dress.

The next thing he sees is the key in her hand, hanging from a leather fob and he recognizes it immediately, he's the one who gave it to her after all, right after he moved into his condo.

"What's that?" He asks despite already knowing the answer.

"They key to your apartment" She replies with a slight smile.

"I don't understand"

"I'm not your secretary anymore, Harvey, there's no reason for me to have this"

"It's not a reason for you to return it either" He tries not to sound too hurt, not to let her see how much it pains him that she keeps trying to keep things strictly professional between them.

"Thomas found it, Harvey" She retorts with as much honesty as she can.

"Ah" He tilts his in an understanding nod "So he's against you having it, is that it? Feels insecure about his girl having the keys to another man's apartment?" He challenges and he perfectly knows there's no reason to be so rude and behave like an asshole, but it pisses him off that the strongest woman he knows folds at her boyfriend's apparent insecurities.

"Not at all" She replies in a flat tone, deciding not to call him on his shit as she normally would and he once again finds the distance between them unbearable, he would have rathered have her snap at him and tell him what an asshole he is instead of ignoring his rudeness altogether "Actually, he respects our friendship, it's me who thinks it's not proper to keep a key to your place when it's no longer necessary"

"Okay then" He extends his open palm over his desk and she places the key there, her fingers brushing slightly against his as she pulls her hand back.

"It bothers you" He wasn't expecting her to call him on it, and a part of him is actually glad she did "Me and Thomas" She clarifies, even if it's not needed.

"I just want you to be happy" He shrugs instead of admitting her assumption, which they both know is pretty accurate.

"And what makes you think I'm not?" She challenges back and he lets out a dark, sarcastic chuckle.

"Nothing. I'm sure furniture guy is very fun to be around"

"It is so like you to look down on every guy I decide to date without even knowing them first" She's angry now, he can tell, and he could try to placate her but pouring gas into the fire is more his thing.

"And none of them were good enough for you, so I haven't been wrong before"

"Thomas is different" She jumps to defend her boyfriend.

"How so?"

"Well, for starters he's kind, sweet, attentive and he's not scared to love me"

He's everything you're not, is what Harvey hears instead of her actual words.

"Then I really am happy for you" He says in a softer tone "I don't wanna fight, Donna"

"And yet, you started it" She accuses

"I'm an asshole, okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mocked Thomas" He waves the white flag and she nods, accepting his apology.

"I shouldn't have accused you of being bothered by my relationship"

"You weren't wrong, and I'm telling the truth about wanting you to be happy, but when you told me about the two of you, for a second there…"

"I get it" She interrupts him.

"You do?"

"I do. Scottie's always bothered me a bit, but just because I didn't want her to hurt you, it doesn't mean…" She trails off and he nods.

"Exactly" He jumps in, saving himself from hearing her say out loud how he means nothing more than a friend to her. "I really am happy for you, Donna" He says once again, as if continuing to voice it will make it real. He's not happy for her, he wants her to be happy, of course he does, but he wants to be the one to make that happen every day for the rest of his life.

"Thanks Harvey"

She walks out of his office and he takes the key she just gave him in his hand. When he gave it to her, it was simply a practicality, back then she handled most of his life so having unrestricted access to his place was a necessity, that's all the meaning it had back then. But now, he looks at the object and it feels completely different, it's as if with this key she's closing the door on them forever. He wishes she hadn't given it back, wonders how is it that Thomas found it; did she have it in a drawer at home? Or maybe she had it on her? No, that's ridiculous, why would she keep a key to his place on her? It's not like she used it too many times either, a handful if only.

He leans back into his chair, his thumb caressing the fob as he looks to his right, to the wall that separates his office from Donna's and thinks about how ironic it is that she's literally next door but it feels like they're worlds apart, oblivious to the fact that she's doing the same exact thing while they both feel that nothing's ever hurt so much.