.

Donna has no idea how long she's been rooted to the same spot, right where Harvey left her after walking into her office with a determined look on his face and planting a kiss on her lips that almost ended up with them groping each other in the middle of her office.

She has no idea what got into him, and the worst part is that she didn't think of Thomas even once while Harvey had her pressed against her table.

Oh god, Thomas. He doesn't deserve this. He's been nothing but perfect in every way. She's not a cheater, or she wasn't at least. Until now.

And she did cheat….. She cheated on Thomas. And she can tell herself she didn't actually sleep with Harvey, it was just a kiss, but she knows it was so much more. She didn't stop it either, Harvey did, and she thinks that maybe she would have, because it's not like she would have had sex with Harvey in her office, but it doesn't make her feel any less guilty, because the feelings are the problem. The way it felt when he pressed his lips against hers and when he pushed her into this very same table and their hands caressed each other while their tongues danced together after so long.

She spent the past thirteen years telling herself she had no chance with Harvey, almost believing her own lie that she had no feelings for him. It was so much easier to live in denial.

And how dare he, anyway?. He knows she is seeing someone. He knows better than anyone what cheating does to a relationship. And he turned her into a cheater anyway.

Suddenly the confusion and all the feelings the kiss gave her are set aside, and all she feels is anger towards the man only a few minutes ago she was kissing senseless.

He had thirteen years…. Thirteen goddamn years to do something if he wanted to and he decided to wait until she was in a committed relationship to act on his feelings for her. If he even has them.

Maybe he just wanted to prove to himself that he had no romantic feelings towards her. Maybe he didn't feel anything. After all, he said that he just had to know and left her there. So, what the hell did he have to know so badly?.

She grabs her stuff and walks towards the elevator in a daze, she'll have no recollection of how she even made it there later. As she's about to step inside the metal box, Louis calls her name.

"Donna, have you seen Harvey?" The mere mention of his name startles her and she narrows her eyes as she tries to mask it.

"What about him?" She questions.

"I need to find him, Malik is getting Jessica disbarred, and I need to talk to him, the last time I saw him was in his office half an hour ago"

"I know, Jessica called me because she couldn't reach him. She's waiting for him at his place, so he probably already knows" She replies in a tired tone.

"Well, we need to go there and figure out a way to fix this!" Louis exclaims.

"You go, Louis. I can't deal with this right now"

"Donna, what the hell? I just told you Malik is coming after Jessica's license. What is wrong with you?" He's angry at her and she understands. Under other circumstances, she would have gone with Louis to see Harvey and try to find a way to fix this. But right now she can't face Harvey, it's the last thing she needs.

"I can't right now, alright?!" She exclaims exasperated "I have to go and I'm not even a lawyer, Louis. You go ahead and let me know if you need anything from me, but do not ask me to go to Harvey's right now, please" Her tone softens with her plea and Louis understands she truly is in no state of mind to help them with anything right now. He wonders if there's something more going on, but now's not the time to ask.

"Okay, go home. We'll deal with this and talk tomorrow"

Donna nods, grateful Louis isn't pressing her any harder because she's not far from breaking down and she can't allow herself to right now.

….

She arrives at her place and the soft click of her door shutting behind her calms her nerves slightly at the relief of finally being home.

"There you are!" A familiar voice calls from the living room as she rounds the hallway to find Thomas walking out of her kitchen with an apron on. "I was starting to wonder if you had pulled an all-nighter and forgot about me" He jokes as he approaches her, but she's frozen in place and he frowns. She forgot about their plans to have dinner at her place.

"Donna, are you okay? Did something happen?" He asks with concern as he places his hands on her shoulders and slides them down her arms, his touch suddenly being all the comfort she needed. He's here, he's cooking for her and he's so perfect. And deep down she knows she has to tell him what happened, but she can't bring herself to, because all she needs right now is for him to envelop her in his strong arms and feel secure.

"Something happened at work. That attorney that put me on the stand the other day came after our old managing partner's license and it's a mess"

"Jessica?" He questions and Donna frowns as she looks up at him in confusion "I was the firm's client long before I became your boyfriend, Donna. I know Jessica Pearson"

She chuckles softly and shakes her head "Of course you do. Well, Louis and Harvey are working on it, but the news hit me hard and I'm just glad to be home with you" He leans down to kiss her and she hates how, even if it feels nice, it's nothing like how it felt with Harvey. But Thomas is her boyfriend, it's so unfair that not only did she cheat on him but she can't help to compare how different his lips feel, how even if she enjoys it, her lips don't fit in his as perfectly as they did with Harvey's.

And goddamnit, Harvey. The selfish asshole had to interfere in yet another relationship she is trying to have.

"I'm really glad you're home, too. Now, I hope you're hungry because I made a lot of food" He says as they break apart and he walks back into the kitchen.

"Starving" Donna replies with a smile that she has to force and hope to god Thomas can't tell it's fake. Her failed career as an actress is finally paying off.

Later that night she lies on her side as Thomas' arm holds her close. He understood she was a bit shaken and didn't try anything other than cuddling, and she couldn't be more grateful about it, but she also can't help but feel like shit for keeping something so big from him.

She lies awake most of the night, sleep claiming her barely a few hours before her alarm goes off.

…

Next morning, Donna walks into her office to find Harvey sitting there waiting for her. She slams her purse against her desk and looks at him.

"What's with you and ambushing me in my office?" She asks with a cold voice.

"We need to talk" He simply says.

"No, we don't"

"I'm your boss, Donna. You can't ignore me forever" He retorts. And she's always been great at reading him, but today she can't, as much as she tried. Maybe because she doesn't want to, it's safer if she doesn't.

"Well then give me an order or get the hell out of my office" She snaps.

"Do you really want to pretend what happened didn't happen?" He presses and she closes her eyes, purses her lips, and takes a long deep breath to prevent herself from yelling at him.

"I just need you to assure me that what happened last night will never happen again"

He chuckles darkly and shakes his head "Just like last time" He mutters under his breath.

"What was that?" She asks in a challenging tone.

"Nothing Donna, don't worry, it'll never happen again"

"Good. Now let's talk about the Jessica situation" She says, business tone on, making it clear she's done discussing personal matters.

"That's for me to deal with" He says as he stands, his armor back on.

"No, actually it's not. We need to be able to show to the world that we can still attract 'A' talent, Harvey"

"If you're talking about hiring a new senior partner, you can forget about it. Hiring lawyers is my job" His tone is determinate, if she wants to ignore what happened and keep things strictly professional, then fine by him.

"Then do your job, Harvey" She snaps back at him.

"Excuse me?! I'll do what I see fit, this is my firm after all" With no other word, he simply walks out of her office.

Donna sighs once he's gone and closes her eyes for a second. She hates being at odds with Harvey. Why did he have to be so reckless?

A knock interrupts her thoughts as she looks up to see Mike standing on her doorway.

"What is it, Mike?" She asks hurriedly.

"Is everything okay? I just ran into Harvey, he looks like someone put his dog down" He says with concern as he walks further into Donna's office.

"It must be because of Jessica being gone"

"But Jessica's been gone" He points out matter of factly.

"You don't know" Donna says in realization. "Jessica's been disbarred. Malik couldn't get to Harvey through me, so he went after Jessica's license" She explains.

Mike sighs and shakes his head "No, there's gotta be something we can do. She sacrificed herself for us!" He exclaims at how calm the COO seems to be.

"It's done Mike, she's okay with it, and we have to accept that"

"Like hell we will!" Mike exclaims as he leaves Donna's office.

…

"Jessica's been disbarred because of us and you don't even tell me about it?" Mike demands as he walks into Harvey's office.

"Mike, it's done, she's fine with it, no one cares about that in Chicago which is where she wants to be and we all live to fight another day"

"How can you be so calm?" The junior partner exclaims with clear anger. And the truth is he feels guilty, because Jessica came forward for him, and she's the reason he was able to become a real lawyer. He hates himself for Jessica not being able to practice law in New York again.

"I wasn't, but then she said that she's okay with it, she's accepted it and she's moving on. She's happy with her new life, Mike. She's still a lawyer, she found love… It doesn't get much better than that" Harvey's tone is solemn, pensive even, and Mike can tell there's more to it than he's letting on. Donna's attitude just a few minutes ago further proves something happened.

"What's wrong Harvey? You know you can talk to me" Mike says in a softer tone, now sitting in front of Harvey's desk.

"I kissed Donna" He confesses with a sigh "She didn't want me to, and now she's pissed at me and I'm pissed at her too because she acts like it was all me, but she goddamn kissed me back" He explains in a very upset tone and Mike is pretty much gaping by now.

"Harvey, that's huge. I mean, I've always known you had feelings for her, but you know she's still seeing Thomas, right?"

Harvey glares at Mike and gives him a pointed look "That's the problem, Mike" He says in an obvious way.

"Well, yeah, you kissed her and she's in a relationship. Think about how you would have reacted if it had been the other way around"

Harvey's look changes for a second and yes, he would have been pissed alright had he been the one in a relationship, but the way Donna kissed him back… It wasn't just a peck, he knows she must have felt something because he's the one who pulled away, and it can't be only a physical attraction, he felt everything in that kiss and he's pretty sure she did too.

"You're right, I guess I just have to give her some time. I tried to talk to her this morning and she bit my head off, so then I got pissed when she suggested we should hire a new senior partner and I told her hiring lawyers is my job"

"She's used to you being an ass, she'll get over it"

"Jeez, thanks" He retorts sarcastically and Mike chuckles.

"What made you kiss her after so many years?" Mike wants to know and Harvey sighs. "I understand if you don't wanna share, I just…" Mike trails off and Harvey nods, letting his friend know he's willing to answer his question.

"Ever since I made things right with my mom, I've felt different. I don't know, I just… I'm tired of sleeping around and I've come to terms with the fact that if I were ever to share my life with someone, that someone would be Donna. I wasn't ready to go for it before, but now I am, so I asked her out to dinner after I promoted her to celebrate. I was going to tell her that night but before I could she told me about Kessler. And then Louis came to me and fed me some bullshit about not making the same mistake he made when he let Sheila go and I just…" He trails off and Mike nods in understanding, not quite being able to believe that Harvey has just opened up like that to him.

"You've never shared your feelings like that with me before" He points out, trying to lighten the mood.

Harvey chuckles softly in return "That's because I used to share them only with my best friend, but I can't exactly tell her about this, now can I?"

And Mike understands. Donna's always been Harvey's everything and this whole situation must be killing him.

"Well, I think telling her was ultimately better than just kissing her out of the blue, don't you think?"

Harvey sighs and nods "Yeah, it probably was"

"Let her cool off and then try to talk to her" Mike advises his friend.

"Thanks, Mike"

"Anytime man. I hope things work out with you two. I mean who doesn't want to see their parents together, right?" He jokes and Harvey glares at him playfully.

"Get out of my office, fraud" The managing partner jokes back.

"Ex-fraud" Mike points out behind his shoulder as he sees himself out of Harvey's office.

…

Donna finds out that a rockstar senior partner from a firm in DC is leaving and she thinks it's the perfect opportunity for them to show to the world that they still are one of the most powerful law firms in New York, but she ends up going to Louis with it, because she can't face Harvey right now, she doesn't want to.

"Why aren't you going to Harvey with this?" Louis asks with his hands intertwined in his lap as he watches Donna nervously fidget with her nails.

"I can't go to him" She simply explains.

"Why not?" He asks with confusion and his look changes to one of realization as he recalls the way she refused to go to Harvey's the other night after Jessica's disbarment, and he can also see from Donna's behavior that something definitely happened between the COO and the managing partner. "Did he say something to you?" He asks carefully, not wanting to give much away in case Harvey didn't tell her about their last conversation.

"Not exactly" She whispers as she looks down at her lap.

"Donna, what happened? Because it's clearly getting in the way of your job and we can't have that" He presses and Donna's throat tightens. She really doesn't want to do this here.

At her hesitation and in his best Louis fashion, he goes straight to the bone "Oh, shit. Did you guys sleep together again?" He asks in shock and Donna lifts her head and looks behind her to make sure there are no passerbyers.

"Louis, no!" She exclaims "He kissed me" She ends up confessing, knowing Louis won't let it go unless she's honest with him. "And I'm still seeing Thomas, so I'm very angry with Harvey right now"

"Oh Donna" He sighs and shakes his head. This is all his fault. "I am so sorry. I never thought he would… I mean with the way he feels about infidelity, I didn't think—"

"Louis, wait. What do you have to do with what Harvey did?" She interjects, suddenly getting very frustrated with her friend.

"The night I told you about Sheila, I went to Harvey afterwards and told him about it too" He looks at Donna and prays maybe she won't be too pissed at him "You're gonna be angry with me too" He says next and Donna simply looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish "I told him I had to watch to love of my life walk down the aisle with someone else, and I had to live with the fact that I didn't tell her how I felt when I had the chance. I told him not to let it get to that, that he had to tell you before it was too late. But I didn't tell him to kiss you, just to tell you if he had feelings for you"

I just had to know.

His words echo in Donna's head and it makes so much more sense now.

"It's okay Louis, you couldn't have known he was gonna do that. What made you say that to him though? Why on earth did you think he could have feelings for me?" She needs to know. Because Louis is pretty clueless most of the time and for him to have noticed Harvey's supposed feelings, something must have happened.

"After Malik put you on the stand I couldn't find you, so I asked Harvey how it went. He was furious and he accused me of not having protected you. Thing is, I told him I cared about you as much as he did and he said that wasn't possible because you weren't the most important person in my life"

To say she's shocked by that piece of information would be an understatement. Her lips part, confusion adorning her whole face. And she knows Harvey cares about her, she's always known that, but the most important person in his life?. She could not have seen that coming, but then again, it sort of makes sense. The way he behaved in that dinner a few weeks ago hasn't left her alone. Wondering if maybe there was something else he wanted to tell her that night, right before she broke the news of her relationship with Thomas to him.

"I'm not the most important person in his life" She lamely whispers because she can't let herself believe it. She promised herself she was done waiting for a man that would never be ready to commit to her.

"Donna, I may be a bit clueless most of the time, but anyone can see that you are. Even me" Louis says with a small smile.

"Thomas is a good man" She says then with determination.

"I know. I merely answered your question Donna, and now you know. Harvey will probably kill me if he knows I told you all that"

"I won't say a word" She reassures him, knowing how much Louis values his friendship with Harvey.

"Thank you, Donna. And going back to that interview, you may as well go ahead with it. As far as I know, there's a reason he promoted you"

"Thank you, Louis" She says absentmindedly as she stands and walks out of her friend's office.

…

Harvey's walking down a hallway when he sees a man following Donna into conference room B, and it doesn't take a genius to know it's probably the senior partner he specifically told her not to call without his approval.

He bursts the door open and Donna and the other guy look up at him in surprise.

"Donna, a word?" He asks sternly.

"Can it wait? I'm busy" She can tell he's getting angrier by the second, but honestly, she couldn't care less. Louis is right, Harvey promoted her for a reason, and she's not gonna tolerate his man-child behavior, especially when he's the one in the wrong.

Far from retreating, Harvey makes his way further into the room.

"Harvey Specter, managing partner" He makes emphasis on his title as he shakes the guy's hand.

"Kyle Clemente" He says back. "Donna here was just telling me about an opening for a senior partnership"

"Oh, was she? Yeah, how many times were you interviewed by a COO, right?"

"A few, actually" Kyle admits which has Donna smirking.

"Harvey, are you gonna join us or…" She trails off, waiting for him to leave them alone.

"I sure will. It's my firm after all, isn't it?" He takes a seat next to Donna and watches her adjust her position in her chair uncomfortably. And she's never been uncomfortable in his presence before. Maybe he truly did screw them over for good with the stunt he pulled. Doesn't mean she gets a say in how to run his firm.

"So, Kyle. Why are you leaving your firm?" Harvey asks straightforwardly.

"I'm looking for a change, D.C is not where I want to be anymore"

"And what makes you think this is the right place for you?" He looks at Donna and Harvey recognizes that look. The guy is completely infatuated with her.

"Well Donna said there's an opening for a senior partnership at one of Manhattan's top law firms, so, I didn't have much to think about" The lawyer explains

"Well, the thing is that Donna can be impulsive sometimes and just jump into things without thinking them through, that's probably why she thought bringing you in was a good call" Donna glares at Harvey and if looks could kill he'd be a dead man.

"Kyle, I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse Harvey, he does not always think before talking or acting" Donna says in an attempt to save what's left of the interview.

"Oh, is that right?" Donna looks beyond ashamed as she blushes and covers her mouth with her fingers "Listen Kyle, I'm sorry Donna wasted your time. But we're pretty happy with the way things are with our partnership right now, so you may as well take any of the other offers you already have" Harvey says dismissively as he walks out of the conference without another look towards Donna.

He's walking down the lobby towards the exit when he hears the clicking of heels behind him and he knows it's her. He'd recognize that sound anywhere.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She yells behind him, making him halt his pace and turn around to face her.

"I gave you an order. I specifically told you hiring lawyers is my job, and you did what you saw fit. Well, I wasn't going to have it!" He yells back.

"That gave you no right to diminish me like that in front of a stranger! You made it look like I have no ability to do my job or keep my word"

"I did not. It had nothing to do with your ability to be COO, but you had no right to disobey a direct order like that!"

"Oh cut the crap, Harvey. I've disobeyed hundreds of orders you gave me over the years, even when I was your secretary, so I know that's not why you're so upset"

"Oh, very well then mind reader, tell me why I am so upset as you claim"

"Answer me this first" She fires curtly "Why did you kiss me?" Her question throws him off, she can clearly see that, but she needs answers, and she's not letting him leave until he gives them to her.

"Oh, now you wanna talk about it? It has nothing to do with this"

"It has everything to do with this! You've been different, ever since you came back from Boston"

"When did you and Thomas get together?" He asks instead of answering her question.

"Don't. Don't you dare turn this on me!"

"You said you wanted more!" He yells back.

"You panicked the second I did and then I told you I wanted a promotion and you gladly handed it to me. Anything but facing the one thing you and I never talk about!"

"I panicked?!" Indignation invades his features as he points his finger to his chest. "I took you out to dinner, I picked you up at your place, I bought you flowers and you told me you were seeing a client! Because apparently, your rule only ever applies to me!"

"You're saying that night wasn't just about celebrating?"

This is it, he's about to confirm what she knew in her gut since that night.

He lowers his head, not being able to look at her as he shakes his head no.

"Harvey…" She whispers his name, and he understands. They are at opposite ends of the blurred line that's always connected them, they always seem to be and he never wished to be able to turn back in time as much as he does now. Back to the day she asked him how he loves her and he chickened out. He now realizes that's the day he lost her. He didn't lose her to Thomas, he lost her to himself when he couldn't step up and commit to a relationship with her.

"I'm sorry about the kiss. I never wanted to turn you into that… Into a cheater. You know how I feel about infidelity" He also realizes he hasn't apologized for the kiss and he should have. "Does he know?" He has no right to ask that, and he knows it, but he still can't help himself.

"He doesn't. But that's not on you, it's on me. I should have stopped you" And she may as well be twisting yet another knife into his gut, because that means she regrets kissing him back, she regrets one of the most wonderful moments of his life, and no, he's not exaggerating.

"I shouldn't have kissed you"

"No, you shouldn't have" She says matter of factly "You still haven't answered why you did it though"

"Answer me this first" He makes the same request she did before, his voice firmer "Are you really happy with him?"

"What does that have to do—"

"Just answer me, Donna" He pleads and she sighs. Before the words leave her mouth he knows. She is.

"Yes. Like I haven't been in a long time" She confesses, crushing once again whatever chance he may have thought he had.

"Then it doesn't matter" He retorts and she swears she sees something different in his eyes… Is it resignation? sadness? She's not sure but it hurts more than she'd like to admit.

"You said you needed to know something. Did you get your answer?" She hopes he can at least give her that.

"Yeah, I did" He says with a sad smile as he turns around and walks out on her, just like he did the night he kissed her.

...

A/N Once more thank you all so much for the support and the reviews. I hope you liked this chapter and I'm very excited to read your thoughts about it.