OS – Badass Brunette meets Annoying Vampire
Rating: M
Couple: Bella & Edward
POV Isabella
"Don't think you'll get the same kid. I'm telling you, Charlie."
"Two years ago, she was good, we talked a little and had fun."
"And last year? She pretended to be sick, I didn't even know she lied to you, but she didn't want to go to Forks."
"Really? No, she would have told me, I'm sure."
"I'm telling you the truth!"
"Well, maybe you're just too eager to be with your younger husband." He snickered.
"Don't you dare make that assumption! I'm a great mom! I'm just exhausted to be called every week in the principal's office! My insurance won't cover any more outlash against some random guy or girl at school. She's so feisty! I don't recognize her anymore. I can't do it on my own anymore."
"Well, you're the one who asked for it, aren't you?"
Renée gritted her teeth and didn't reply because he was right, from the start. He's the one who wanted to wait before having sex, he's the one who said they were too young to have a baby, and he proposed when she refused to have an abortion. He has been in love with her and was so supportive anyway, always there for her, such a devoted father for Isabella. He was ready to follow her anywhere, but after just one year of being a family, she wanted another life, without him.
"Anyway, I just called to let you know that I received all her stuff this morning, her room is ready." He said.
"Thanks, Charlie." She replied while finishing packing her own suitcase, her phone on speaker.
I've never seen so much lingerie in my life, she was planning for a debauchery journey, and I was the one going wild?
"I'll meet her at the airport tomorrow. Tell her to wear a heavy jacket, it's really cold." My dad warned.
"Will do. Bye."
"Bye, Renée."
I've heard everything, I knew already what my mom was thinking of me, and I was pretty sure she even left off things. But still, it hurt to hear my own mother giving up on me. I was more than ready to leave Phoenix behind, to be on my own, even in rainy Forks. My mom was a kindergarten teacher until last year when she got so sick she had to take a break. And then she met Phil at the hospital where he was healing from a baseball injury. She was so eager to follow him on the roads, she was that kind of person who just wanted to live a day at the time, to not bother about tomorrow.
I was super pissed that Renée told Charlie about last year. I knew I had to play it cool with my dad now if I wanted the freedom that I was craving. Taking care of my mom was natural for me until she got sick. I was so worried, and I did so much to help her get better. I took care of every little detail, and to be the grown-up more than ever. But the moment she met Phil, it was like I wasn't there, like I didn't help at all, like I was doing everything because I owed it to her.
Sure, she had lots of affairs along the years, but never a man had lived with us. Renée made us move after every break-up, making me swear to never fall in love. And even if she got hurt, again and again, she was too weak to resist men. I was supposed to know better.
Phil wasn't a bad guy, I have never blamed him. He even told me once that I should had have a normal teenage life and that he wanted to take care of my mother so I could enjoy my youth.
My mom kind of forgot about me and I just did what Phil wished, I became an average teenager. A teenager with fits of rage, with cries, with jet black hair, too much make-up and inappropriate clothes. I knew my attempts were a call for help that Renée didn't hear it. That's why I got really mad. I was finally fed up with all the "unfairness" in my life.
True, Forks wasn't ideal, but it was less crowded, kids were less superficial, from what I remembered during the summers spent there. At this point in my life, I just wanted to finish high school and get in any university far from both my parents.
I had no illusion that living with Charlie would be difficult, for both of us. He remembered me as a quiet kid who could cook. I still could cook, but I wasn't that quiet and plain girl anymore. I was indeed every week in the principal's office, for swearing, getting in, or starting a fight, because I couldn't NOT say something when I was pissed. Teachers who were late but didn't allow us to be a minute later, students who tried to copy my work, or spread rumors on me. And then not only at school, but I also got mad because of coffee shops trying to make me pay five dollars for the tiniest cupcake, patrons who couldn't mind their own business when I was talking on the phone, guys in the streets or on the bus who thought they could cup my ass or stare at my breasts. There were so many times people were getting on my nerve.
At least, my father was chief of police, working a lot and depending on my goodwill to eat. I would compromise with him, but just him. I wasn't going to try to blend in there, I just had to get through one year and a half of rain and cold, then I'll be on my way. I was the chief's daughter, no one would mess with me!
_oOo_
"Hi, Bells! Don't you look nice!" said Charlie when I stopped in front of him. I swore it took him several seconds to recognize me.
"Thanks."
"Your hair is… shorter than the last time I saw you."
"Yeah."
"Let's go! I have a surprise for you!"
So, the surprise was an old rusty red Chevy that couldn't reach the thirty miles per hour. One good thing was I got to see Jake, Billy's son. He was funny although too young and immature for me, I soon realized. Too bad, I could have used a friend. Still, he was some kind of a mechanic, I was sure that the car would need repair at some point. Better keep tables with Jake occasionally.
The first day at school sucked, I tried my best to get by without notice, but they were all waiting for me like I was the Messiah. I had dressed in black clothes, sober, so I wouldn't stand out that much. Turned out, the role of the gothic girl was already played by some petite and strange girl. Her hair as black as mine but way shorter, her clothes looked expensive and she even had the emo boyfriend. They sat at lunch with three other, two boys and a bimbo. They looked somehow the same, and so different from anyone else. The lunchroom population acted as if they didn't even exist, but they were all I could see, the gorgeous outcasts of Forks.
One of those Cullen was the most handsome guy I had ever seen and I made the mistake to ask aloud who he was. A girl, the nasty one who was seizing me when she thought I wasn't looking, advised me not to lose my time with him. He was out of every girl's league around here.
But then that boy stared at me during Biology class, a bloody murder stare, and I thought that I could beat him anytime. He was just snob, used to be apart, he didn't like the attention. He jumped a second before the bell rang and disappear for a week. I was so pissed.
_oOo_
Meeting with Jacob that Sunday on the Rez was just awful. Mud and cold and rain, I just couldn't understand how they all could be so tanned while living in the frozen spot of hell.
"I've never heard someone call this place the frozen spot of hell. I like it!" claimed Leah Clearwater, a girl whose dad was friend with mine.
"We've never been elsewhere." A boy, maybe Quill, admited.
"Guys, you have TV, you know it's so different out there." I insisted.
"Maybe we like it here the way it is." Stated the chief of the group.
"It's your loss. Tell Charlie I had a headache." I told them before heading out.
"Bella, wait!" One of them run after me.
"What?"
"Can I go with you? My car's better than that old pickup Billy sold to your dad."
"It's Quil, right?"
"Paul."
"Alright, but keep your hands to yourself, kid."
"I'm coming too." Said Jake.
Leah also joined us and we took the road to Port Angeles. I came home at nine that night and my dad was still at the Rez. He wasn't into that family time shit.
_oOo_
"Hello, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"
"So you can talk! I would have lost if I had made a bet on that. »
"I'm sorry?"
"You should be. What was the matter with you last time? You glared at me like a bloody serial killer."
"I don't get you."
"That's right. And you won't get me, Cullen. So, you can go on with the silent treatment, 'cause I have nothing to do with a snob like you, who thinks he's better than anyone."
And he did, we sat almost every day for a boring lesson, and in gym class, I always stayed as far as I could from him. And yet my body was reacting so strangely because I was near him.
For spring break, I went back to my mom, they relocated to sunny Florida, but I was still banned from living with her. I was so pissed that I still couldn't live on my own. Family sucked. Family obligations even more.
_oOo_
"Come on, it would be fun."
"Stop it, Paul!"
Jake launched at him but the other was quick to push him away. Paul was still holding my hand, trying to make me touch his torso. Jacob got up and this time took Paul by surprise. I was free at last; I took a few steps back and yelled at Paul.
"I won't tell you another time. I'm not gonna give you a head. Stupid little boy!"
"Don't call me like that!"
"Then stop hitting on me!"
"Charlie told Billy you had many boyfriends when you were living with your mom. Don't act like a virgin here. You like me, otherwise, why are you always coming to the Rez?"
"Because the whole state of Washington is boring! But I guess I'm not coming here anymore if it gives you ideas."
"Fine! Go dry hump white faces!"
I flipped him a bird and walked to my car, Jacob in tow.
Leah and Embry hadn't said anything, they watched sadly as I walked away. I wouldn't come back at the Rez, I was so fed up with those Quileute.
"Don't worry, dude, she's too pale for you. She'd be better with those Cullens." Embry told Paul.
"I'm sure she's fucking one of them, she's always smelling like them." Continued Paul.
"I smell like them? What's that's supposed to mean?" I asked Jake.
"Nothing. Scary old stupid stories."
"Take me back home, please."
I gave him my keys, even if he hadn't his license yet, I was too furious to drive. I felt so repulsed when Paul touched me and I still didn't understand why. I was no whore, and still a virgin, but I had let some boys touch my breasts and my ass last year. Paul just took my hand, but it was like the most disgusting thing ever. I wondered if that was because of him, or if I was ruined for any guy.
"Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"I won't visit anymore," I told him, feeling a bit sorry to have another place where I couldn't go, even if it was just the Rez.
"I wanted to punch him." He fumed.
I had to make things clear, and maybe Paul was just not the only one who mistook why I was visiting almost every weekend.
"You like me, too, don't you?"
"Um… Yeah."
I had to verify.
"Give me your hand," I told him.
"Okay!"
I took his left hand in mine but felt the same thing as with Paul. I was disgusted and felt so nauseous that I urged him to pull over.
"What's wrong?"
"I think I'm sick. Sorry, dude, you and me, it's never gonna happen. Distract me and tell me about those stories of your people. And what does it have to do with the Cullens or the way I smell." I insisted.
_oOo_
I was so confused the following days that everything got on my nerves. Biology was the worst, on Monday, I sensed the boy next to me restless. Maybe he was as angry as me, plus he acted as if I was smelling like garbage. I remembered that he was always like that on Monday, but I didn't pay that much attention before. On Tuesday I put on our table the stinkiest car air freshener available at the gas station. It made him angrier and at the end of the class, he took it and threw it to the trash, his eyes fixed on me, like a warning, then he didn't show up in gym. So of course, I was more furious than ever.
I decided to go to Port Angeles on Friday, right after class, although I was tempted to skip biology that day. Unfortunately, my father must have told Billy about my plans because Jake was waiting for me on the parking lot after class. I really should have skipped biology and gym. I dropped behind a car before Jake could see me and stayed hidden for ten minutes. The lot emptied itself quicker than any other day and the kid who drove my hiding spot arrived. I scared him but then he eyed me like I was pretty enough for him to say yes if I asked him out. And I was definitely going to ask him to let me escape in his car, whatever the price. Seeing Jake was so upsetting that I was willing to …. No, I had to be more cautious.
At that moment, a silver car parked next to me and I heard Jake yelling at someone.
I peeked above the car and saw him arguing with the biggest of the Cullen brotherhood.
"Don't worry, he'll go away, I'm pretty sure about it." Whispered a girl next to me, frightening me.
A cold hand immediately kept me from screaming. It was Alice Cullen. And to my horror, she was there with my least favorite classmate, the owner of the silver car, behind which I was pushed. The sedan then moved, the guy inside looked scared as shit.
"Bella!" shouted Jake.
"I told you she went home with a friend of hers."
"I don't trust any of you, filthy leeches."
"Technically, you're on our territory. We could kill you right now."
Alice had tried to cover my ears, but I was sure I heard Emmett threatening Jake.
"What are they talking about?!" Fumed Jake.
"Emmett, let's go," Alice told him.
On my right, Rosalie had come standing next to me and looked at me, disgusted. On my left, Jasper didn't pay attention to me but to his brother and Jake, he was so focused as if he possessed the power of telekinesis.
Finally, Jake got back into his car and left the parking lot. Alice then helped me on my feet and we were alone.
"If he's bothering you, we'll-"
"You psychopaths! I shouted at her and at her siblings, while walking away. Why do you threaten teenagers to kill them? I didn't ask for your help! Who do you think you are?!"
I heard one of them laugh, probably Emmett, Jasper was already coming my way, a murderous glare on his white face toward me. Alice tried to keep me from running away but I shook my arm and screamed again at her.
"Don't come near to me, all of you!"
I made a run to my car, tripped three times, and began to cry as I was leaving the lot.
I arrived at Port Angeles feeling safer, maybe I had killed two birds with one stone, Jake wouldn't want to see me again and I told those crazy rich weirdos to stay away from me. And while I was feeling so proud of myself, I got lost. I found my way back to the pier after asking for directions, people were enjoying their Friday nights, no rain meant they were outside, drinking and laughing. I parked and walked toward the pier.
My father had called me several times, Jake must have told him he didn't find me after school. Now I was feeling better and decided to call my dad back so he would not worry too much. As I was struggling to open my phone, a woman jostled me, causing me to gasp as the pain went straight to the bones of my left arm. She just smiled at me, unrepentant, her eyes an insanely dark red color. She was with two other men and the three of them didn't fit at all in the crowd, something was off. Once in my car, I observed them a few more minutes, they were eyeing people as they were delicious food.
That night, for the first time, I dreamed of Edward Cullen, and it was a nightmare.
_oOo_
"He's so different now. He's more alone than before, it's like his own siblings can't stand to be with him," whispered Jessica to Samantha during gym class the following Monday. Funny thing was that Cullen was at least thirty feet from them and he looked as if he had heard every bit of that nasty gossip. He gave them that murderous look I had to endure a few times. The girls didn't even notice and went on with their speculations.
"He's the only one who's single in that family. He must be fed up to hear them all having sex."
"Jess', come on, if he wanted to date, I would have known," Samantha stated while touching her breasts as if it was a normal thing to do.
"I still would totally do him. I mean, he's so gorgeous," moaned Jessica, it was disgusting.
Why was I even offended by what those bitches were saying about Edward? Yeah, I was on first name basis in my thoughts with him. Sure, he was left alone an awful amount of time, he was also arriving in his car, alone, in the morning. But why would they assume he was waiting for their skinny asses?
"You like good little boys, that's why you're still hang up on him, continued Samantha. He only gets straights A's, you're not smart enough for him. Don't lose your time, Jess'. It's what you told to that stupid Swan girl."
I rolled my eyes, cause yeah, the first time I saw him, I was on cloud nine, but it was just one hour, then he glared at me in biology class and the charm was broken.
"He's studying all the time, I'm sure! Gloated Samantha. I would rather spend the night with Emmett!"
They laughed so hard that the teacher caught them sitting instead of running, I smirked but he told me to get up too. Then I saw Cullen looking at me, hopelessly, as if I were a puppy at the store that his mom was allergic to. He soon realized that I was staring back at him, really pissed off, so pissed off that I flipped him a bird. But instead of looking surprised or angry, he burst out laughing. I froze immediately, drowned in that sound. What the hell was that?
"Move your ass, Swan!" Samantha threw a basketball at me and I was thankful.
Stupid Edward Cullen.
_oOo_
"Bella? Have you finished yet?" he asked me the next day in Biology.
"To hate you or to read that filthy text?"
"Both I guess."
"Then no."
"To both?"
"What's the matter, Cullen? Are you feeling lonely?"
"Why are you so angry all the time?"
"It's not being angry, it's being wild, my dear."
His eyes shone right away, did he really thought that my calling him dear meant something?
"You're impossible, Cullen."
"I hear that a lot lately."
I was dying to ask him what he was talking about, his siblings shunned him out, was there something else? But I didn't breathe a word and continued to read about bacteria and other disgusting things that could be found in a dead fish.
_oOo_
I couldn't understand why, but suddenly Cullen was talking to me at every class we shared. It was about random things, about what was going on during that hour, sometimes about the weather. In June, he announced me he won't be attending school the next day, because he would go camping with his family. I didn't understand his craving for the camping and told him.
"Who doesn't like to hike on a sunny day?"
"Come on, Cullen, admit it, you spend all your time inside. I used to live in Arizona, it was amazing, I can't stop being sick here because of the cold and constant humidity. Even if there's a silly guy on weather channel who tells you it's going to be a sunny day, you should bring an umbrella with you."
"My family always go on hiking trips whenever a sunny day is announced." He said it as if it was the epitome of having fun.
"You're paler than me, I bet you're all red after ten minutes in the sun. Your whole family is the same, even if you're not actually related. I'm sure you chose to live in boring Forks on purpose."
"Not everyone is unable to appreciate a simple life."
"Says the richest guy of the whole county, I sneered. Well, enjoy those precious ten sunny days this summer. I intend to spend my summer in Florida. Clubbing, drinking real Tequila, only wearing one layer of clothes, and going to the beach every day!"
"You shouldn't drink or smoke."
"And yet, that's what fun means, not hiking with mommy and daddy!"
"Whatever."
Finally, he stayed silent, and I went back to what Mr. Banner was trying to teach us.
During gym, I was lucky to be able to hide and smoke. I was nervous because of Cullen, it was harder and harder to sit next to him. Of course, the gym teacher found me right after I finished my cigarette and I was sure I saw Cullen looking at me, victorious. Snitch!
_oOo_
The last week of the school year finally arrived, after that, I would have to stay two weeks at Forks, since my mom was still traveling with Phil and then I would be allowed to join them in Florida.
"I thought I'd see you at Newton's party last Saturday," Edward said to me on Monday morning.
"Really?"
"Well, that was supposed to be the party of the year for the Juniors."
"What about Prom next weekend? That's supposed to be the big night."
"You're going with someone?"
"Nope. I avoided the dance before spring break, I'll avoid this one, too."
"You don't like to party?"
"I love to party, but not at some high school's dance."
"So where?"
"Port Angeles, Hoquiam, I even went a few times to Seattle. Clubs are so cheap around here, I'm desperate for some good music and decent alcohol."
"You went with friends?" he asked, a pouty expression on his weird but gorgeous face.
"Yes, with some friends from the Rez."
I used to go with them, I used to have friends there, but I didn't want to admit I was back to square one, alone.
"What about you, Cullen?"
"I'm underaged to go to clubs. As are you."
"Come on, I'm the chief's daughter, of course I have a fake I.D!"
_oOo_
That Saturday night, I still hadn't been invited to prom, my plan to scare off all the boys had succeeded. Every time I had heard girls talking about that night, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would be missing something big. So, after having spent two hours in a bar in Hoquiam, I drove back to Forks. It wasn't fun anymore going alone, even if there was always someone to pay for my drinks.
I was uneasy as I was driving, eager to be close to home, I guessed. I pushed my Chevy too much and sure enough, ten miles from Forks, it stopped and died. Of course, it was raining, I didn't want to walk home. I couldn't call my father as he was so proud that I would study instead of getting drunk and groped at prom. I had to lie to him, like most weekends.
A car arrived and honked; I recognized Edward's car. The rain had somehow stopped, I stepped out of my car when he did, and when he was in front of me, I just hugged him. He froze immediately and didn't reciprocate. I couldn't understand I had done that neither. Why, Jesus, why I was feeling amazing against him? What was happening to me?
"What's wrong with your car, Bella?" he asked quietly.
"It's old. I hate old things!"
"Are you drunk?"
He found my excuse for acting out with him, I decided to play the drunk and foolish girl. I nodded.
"Get in, I'll ask my brother and sister to retrieve your old car." He kind of laughed.
"Not everybody can afford a car like yours, or Rosalie's, or your dad's."
I nudged him in the ribs and gasped. His body was abnormally hard as stone. What the hell? Was I actually drunk?
"Shit! It's so gonna bruise!" I whined.
"Are you okay?"
"Why are you so hard?!"
And of course, I had to check his crotch. I was so dirty sometimes.
"Let's go, I'm taking you home." He groaned.
"Sure."
At one of the rare traffic lights, he asked me again how I was feeling. He looked concerned and mad at me; I loved getting under his skin. I just stared back at him, his eyes were so black, like most of the times he was talking to me or looking at me.
"Can I smoke in your car?" I asked, my hand already in my purse.
"Absolutely not!"
"Gosh, I'm sure you never have sex in your precious car of yours, I mocked him. Why do you act like you're an old man, grumpy and arrogant?!"
"Why can't you act normal, Bella?!" He replied, his hands angrily gripping the steering wheel.
"You mean, like a good girl?"
"Yes."
"But it's funnier to be a bad girl!" I claimed.
"Why?"
"I have been a good girl for most of my life, I feel more alive now than before."
"Alive?"
"Don't you know what it means? Or are the rumors about your family true?"
He looked panicked but it didn't last.
"I wouldn't feel alive because I'm breaking the law, Bella. And neither should you."
"You always look mad, I'm surprised you're not already bald since you pull so much on your hair."
"So you were looking at me all this time!" It was his turn to mock me, he was enjoying that.
"Yeah, because you're the most annoying person I know, I justified. But you're driving fast, I like that! See? You too are breaking the law. Congratulations!"
We laughed together for the first time, I had then to squeeze my thighs because he looked so gorgeous when he was letting it go, annoying but gorgeous.
When he parked the car, I hoped he would jump on me, but we were already at Charlie's, it was the end of our tête-à-tête.
"Thanks for the ride, I told him trying not to look disappointed. Here are my keys for the truck." I gave him the keys and my hand touched his, it was cliché, but I had a good excuse, I was supposed to be drunk. I had to understand why I was feeling so good with him.
I kissed him on the cheek and felt under a spell. He was smelling so good, his skin was cold and hard but so soft at the same time. Touching him was making me feel dizzy and so horny.
"Are you really drunk?" He whispered.
His hand went to my cheek and his eyes held mine captive. Was I supposed to kiss him? He never made a move on me, I had no idea if he even found me attractive or just stupid.
"Yeah."
"Bella."
"What?"
"Goodnight."
Still, he kissed me on the cheek quickly and then opened my door. What a gentleman, I fumed. I wanted more.
"Goodnight, Cullen."
_oOo_
At the beginning of July, the Cullens announced they would be moving away to sunny California. I was so jealous when Charlie told me about it. I was craving a year-long summer. There was something else about that news that distressed me, but I didn't even dare to go down that muddy road. The Cullens were leaving, good riddance.
The following Thursday, Edward came to my house.
"Hey, what you're doing here?" I tried to act unaffected.
"I've come to say goodbye."
"So solemn." I joked.
"We're moving away… to Los Angeles."
"Why?"
"My dad got a new job."
"Well, it means lots of hiking, I laughed sadly. Enjoy. Bye."
"Bella, I was wondering if… If meeting me had meant something for you."
He looked determined to get a confession from me.
"I'm not into you, Cullen." I stated.
"Anyway, you'll be safer now."
I got mad immediately, I never have felt safer than during that ride with him several days ago. Plus, he was the epitome of the good boy. Why would I be safer with him gone?
"How? Why would I be safer without you?!"
"I can't explain."
"What a surprise! Cullen won't talk. Sorry to kill it for you, but no, meeting you had meant nothing for me."
"You're not serious."
"Dead serious."
"Bella, stop lying. It's okay, I'm leaving anyway."
"Why would I like you, you of all people? Are you that special?"
"It's not something that we can always choose, or control. You know it, Isabella." If he said my full name to get me angrier, it was working.
"I always choose for myself, Eddy boy." I sneered, I heard once Emmett calling him and getting the famous murderous glare from Edward.
"It's here, I can feel it, I can see it in your eyes. I even smelled it." He told me but then looked as if he was shocked by his own words.
"What the f-?!"
"Don't lie to me."
"You're going away. Why does it matter?"
"Does it even matter to you that I'm going? That we'll never see each other again?" He insisted.
"No. Go to some ridiculously expensive school, get your pasty white skin red and burned. I'll forget you the minute you'll be out of Forks."
"You're lying."
He came closer, I was afraid to act out as I did in his car. Still, I was craving to feel his hands on me one last time. I couldn't shake this feeling that he was abandoning me. I was sad, angry, and getting more and more desperate. He had to leave fast, or he would see me on my knees, begging him to stay and love me. What the hell was happening to me?!
"Go, Edward. You're not enough for me."
"No one's enough for you. You deserve better, I know."
I didn't deserve better but kept quiet. His eyes were searching for the truth in mine. But why was he forcing us to play that drama?
"Go!" I screamed at him.
This time, Alice and Jasper got out of the car, Edward turned his head, making them stop.
"I'll never forget you, Bella."
"I don't believe you."
"I love you more than anyone."
He waited two minutes for me to react, but I just couldn't. He was lying, he was playing with me because of that stupid kiss I gave him. And he said that he had to leave so I could be safe? Nothing was making sense.
"Let's go," Jasper called.
Then he was gone. What the f- happened?
_oOo_
I tried to forget him. I tried to smoke him away, to drink him away. At one point, being in Florida became too much, I returned to Forks, two full weeks earlier.
A week before school started, I bought an old bike, hung out with Jake so he would fix it for free. Charlie was furious but I was almost eighteen, I reminded him. My bike and I were a package deal. I kind of lied to him about Renée begging me to come to live with them. And he liked my cooking, so the bike stayed, and event got its spot in the garage.
Senior year began without Edward, without all of the Cullens. When I sat in Biology class, for the first time, I started to cry because I realized he was really gone. I pretended to sleep, and the teacher kicked me out. In detention, I tried to get a hold of my pathetic feelings, but I failed as I did for the last few months.
Yes, meeting him had meant something to me. It was still meaning so much, and I wasn't over him, far from it. How would I continue with my life without him? Breathing was getting harder and harder, my eyes were so eager to cry whenever I thought about him, so very often. Noises were too much to bear. Seeing people was too much to bear. Not being with him was too painful.
When I blew out the pink candles on the cheap birthday cake Charlie had bought at the supermarket, I realized that Edward had altered my world so deeply that there was no turning back.
I've asked myself so many times why I was mourning him, and the answer had popped in my head when the candles were taken off the cake: three words, eight letters that I didn't dare to pronounce out loud.
In my bed that night, I decided that I must have gone mad, drunk, or smoked too much, because I was too young to feel as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Nothing was making sense.
But it went on for months. I lost appetite, I lost the will to get my ticket for college with a scholarship. I stopped talking, I didn't even try to pretend I was a bad girl anymore. I guessed Charlie was relieved to see me at home every night.
In March, Jacob came with his father, I haven't seen them since July. I scared Jake and he scared me too. Turned out he had changed so much, taller, bulkier, sadder. We ended up drinking beer outside, like our fathers in the living room.
"Look, I can't tell you why, but always stay at school, or at home, or in public places."
"Jake, it's Forks, I'm alone most of the time."
"Be careful. Don't go into the woods."
"Big bad wolf took a residency there?"
"You still can joke. That's good to hear. But I'm serious, Isabella. »
"Don't call me that!"
"Sorry."
_oOo_
I became as infamous as the Cullens at school. My dad was now aware that something had happened to me but didn't push it when I said everything was just peachy. I was staying home most of the time because every time I wanted to speed up my bike, I would hear Edward's voice begging me to stop putting myself in danger. I didn't like going crazy, imagining he was there with me.
During spring break, I told Charlie I would go visit Renée, but I never got on the plane. Instead, I went to Seattle, to a nasty but cheap hotel and drunk vodka all day long. And finally, that night, Imaginary Edward talked to me and urged me to stop drinking. As I was alone, with no one to witness how crazy I was, I started to argue with him, the day after, I told him I missed him a little, the day after that, I told him I missed like crazy.
After a week, my parents realized I had lied to both of them, and my dad tracked me down. He was a better cop than I had thought.
"Do I have to hire a babysitter, or can I go to work today?" He asked me three days after he had dragged me back to Forks.
"I'll be good."
"I doubt that, but please, stop acting like that."
"Like what, daddy? Why do you care so much? I have watched you drinking several beers every day."
"Bells, you'd better stop. Whatever problems you have, I can help you."
"It's too late!" I shouted at him.
"Just… stay here. Stay safe."
He had locked my bike, I had no way to escape now, the tires of my Chevy were deflated. I easily found Carlie's stash, warm beers, and two bottles of cheap whiskey. I just wanted to sleep and forget that my heart wasn't whole anymore.
I woke up in a loud hospital room, both of my parents yelling at each other as they were being dragged out by a nurse. They didn't even see I was awake, but Phil did and he was so relieved I had opened my eyes.
"They told us you might die. Bella, why did you drink so much?"
"It hurts." I cried.
"Be strong now, Bella. You know you can only count on yourself, it's the same for everyone."
"Yeah, I've noticed."
"A friend of yours is here also."
_oOo_
Alice Cullen promised Charlie she wouldn't leave my side for the night.
"You have to sleep, please, Bella."
"I slept for two full days; I reminded her. I don't need to get more rest. I need-"
"I know what you need, that's why I came."
"No way, you don't know me."
"I know you, and I know you've put yourself in danger because you felt heartbroken that Edward left."
She was a good guesser, but I wasn't feeling like talking about him.
"Alright, I'll sleep now."
Around four in the morning, I woke up with a start, Alice yielded "Rosalie! She's alive! Why would you call him?!"
She hung up and stayed quiet, I was sure she knew I wasn't asleep anymore.
"Tell me," I said moments later, sitting in my bed.
"Bella, my sister has done something so stupid. I need your help."
"Why?"
"Edward thinks you're dead, he's planning on getting killed."
"He wants to commit suicide? Because of me?"
"I don't have time to explain everything right now. Please help me save my brother." She begged me.
"Okay, let me call him."
"He won't answer. Bella, we have to go to him."
"California, here we come!"
"Do you have a passport?"
_oOo_
Ever since Alice had her last vision of Edward exposing himself at noon, I wasn't scared anymore to go to the vampire's city. I was only thinking : "not him". Why was I so ready to die to save him? If he was indeed a vampire, he shouldn't need me to save him. Alice was surely lying to me.
"You're wrong, Bella, only you can save him." She told me, once again her eyes away from the road.
"I don't get it… But I can do this."
"Do you remember what he said to you the day we went away?"
"Yes."
"If the mere idea of harm coming to him is scaring you, then you are his mate and will do everything you can to save him."
She was annoyed by me; I could tell and couldn't care less. Seventeen hours ago, she explained that the whole family wasn't living in Los Angeles and would never live there. Then I got in the car with her and before arriving at SeaTac, she revealed to me they went back to Alaska those last months. And when the plane was high in the sky, she finally pronounced the word vampire. I got it why she waited, I would have jumped from the car otherwise, or run away at the airport.
"Bella, listen to me! You have to decide now to save him."
"But you told me your kind was eternal!"
"If no one kills us, then we can live forever. I don't have time to repeat everything I told you on the plane."
"It's not easy to accept that I have a mate and that he's a vampire! For the love of God, Alice, keep your eyes on the road!"
She pointed Volterra, a city up a hill, surrounded by ramparts.
"Edward would be a disco ball if I ever come too late." I half-joked.
"Finally, you're making a decision! He'll hear me coming and won't listen to me, or anyone, but you."
"He's so dramatic, so annoying!"
"That's how he is, she agreed.
"Why is he-"
"Now is the not time, Bella! Look, you have to continue without me, if he hears me, he'll rush it. Run as fast as you can, don't pay attention to anything else, you understand me?"
"But the bad vampires…"
"Just run before he exposes himself. Please! Take that street, straight then left!" She urged me.
The streets were deserted, the sun was so hot, people here were staying inside. I started to climb the old streets and arrived at the main square. Under an antique-looking clock, I saw him.
His eyes were closed, he was dressed like the day he left Forks. He looked in pain, famished, half-dead, literally, and yet, still gorgeous. I could have stayed several feet from him just to admire him but a movement in my right caught my eye. Alice warned me that Edward was watched, the bad vampires were ready to kill him if he even tried to expose his nature. But really, apart from a few tourists who were eating at a terrace of a restaurant nearby, no one was close enough to pay attention to a pale guy taking his shirt off. Jesus! He was really beginning to shine!
"Stop! I screamed. Edward! Don't!"
"Bella?"
"Stay in the shade!" but he didn't budge.
I hit his body with mine, blocking most of the sun rays.
"Hurry up! Put back your... clothes," I urged him
"Bella?"
"Yeah, it's me, you have to stop right now!"
He took a step back in the shade, so I picked up his shirt and gave it to him. I was sure Alice lied about their super speed and intelligence.
"Rosalie said you were dead." He fumed while putting on the shirt too fast for me to actually see him doing it.
Finally, I had the proof that what Alice told me was true. He was a vampire.
"I'm alive, you have to stay alive, too. Move, Edward. Come with me."
"But…"
"Stop talking!"
I grabbed both his hands and pull him toward the square where the green Porsche, stolen by Alice at the Florence airport, was now waiting for us. He seemed to finally understand the emergency and rushed us inside the Porsche.
"They're close, drive, Alice!" He yelled at his sister.
"Aro won't accept it."
"We have to try, they won't believe us."
"Who's Aro? The chief of the bad vampires?" I piped.
"Forget that name." He commanded me but as our eyes were locking, he crashed his lips to mine.
It was pure heaven, so sweet, so good, it made my body reacts in a million different ways. One of his hands cupped on my cheek, the other gripped my hip.
"Bella, you have to swear to me that you're really alive." He breathed against my mouth.
"I am. Alice said you had to see me to believe it."
"I missed you so much." He went on.
"Why did you try to get killed ?!" I cried, pushing him away.
He barely moved, still he released my face and my hip.
"I couldn't live in a world where you didn't exist." Was his answer.
"What?"
Such a drama queen…
"I love so much, Bella. I told you the day I left. Today you came to me, to save me, it has to mean something."
"It does, I whispered. I still don't understand."
"You can't hide what you feel, my love."
"But why you? Why me? We're nothing alike."
"There's no explanation."
He stopped talking and I was afraid to ask again. He said he loved me, he wanted to die because he thought I was dead. I had to believe everything, I wasn't crazy at all, I was able to love him, I was able to love him that much and he was feeling the same way. Had I been too late, I would have gladly died on the spot.
At the airport, the vampire siblings began to get anxious again, then really scared. Edward put us in the middle of the crowd, the boarding of our plane was quick, we were going to London, I didn't ask why. When it was my turn to give my plane ticket, an icy cold hand grabbed me, forcing me to stop. A young girl, wearing sunglasses and a weird dress, was restraining me.
"We didn't break the rules, Jane." Alice said to her.
"Still, Aro is curious."
"We'll stay longer the next time we'll visit."
"Miss? Do you have a ticket? the flight attendant asked the blond. This area is reserved for passengers."
Jane smiled at her and the woman took a step back, the blond girl was super creepy.
"You can't do anything, added Edward to the mean vampire. You'll expose all of us! You're not above the laws, you'll be killed."
We were the last ones to board, I had to do something to get us on that plane. I turned to flight attendant.
"Please, Miss, she's my boyfriend ex-girlfriend, she's just causing a scene so we would miss our flight."
Jane pushed down her sunglasses and glared at me, she had a strange expression, like Jasper's when Jake was waiting for me on the high school's parking lot.
"What's her power?" I murmured to Edward.
"Let's go!"
Edward pushed her and grabbed me. We were on the plane the minute after. I had to sit between them, I wanted the window seat.
"What if they jump on the plane and-"
"Bella, the point is to stay discreet. She can't do anything, Edward is right."
"She already did something, look at my wrist!"
"I'm gonna kill her!" fumed my vampire.
I liked the idea of calling him mine. My vampire. My vampire boyfriend. My boyfriend whose heart didn't beat. My vampire who kissed me so passionately my body was still tingling. My sexy vampire who-
"Bella!" Alice shooked me.
"What?"
"Do you always daydream when your life is in danger?"
"What did you say, Alice?"
"Now you have to choose. I need to call Carlisle before the plane takes off."
"No!" shouted Edward, and all the passengers of the first class stared at us.
I placed my hand on my vampire's mouth and asked Alice to explain what I had to choose.
"Becoming like us."
"But…"
"You don't want me?" asked Edward, on the verge of tears, if he could cry but maybe Alice lied about that too.
"I do want you, but why do I have to… I mean no offense, but your life seemed to suck at Forks."
"We have to play a little charade, but we do know how to have fun." Claimed Alice.
"Really? He told me already about the whole family going hiking. Not for me. Plus, I always faint when I smell blood."
"Alice, she needs to think about it."
"Yes, and in silence, please," I told them.
I didn't need to think about it but neither of them was willing to understand that. Why would I decide to die and to be born again as a vampire? I loved the sun so much, Tequila, and I couldn't wait to get out of high school. Seriously, they wanted me to give up the only good things in my life so I would join them in a donjon, drinking blood, animal blood which was ironically called being vegetarian, and repeat high school over and over again?! No way!
We stayed silent for almost an hour before Alice reached her limit.
"We won't force you to go back to high school. You'll feel powerful, the whole world to discover while always travelling in first class."
"What's the point? You said that you could stand on one foot and not being tired or hurting. Since I won't be able to drink alcohol, there would be no advantage at all to travel in first class."
"Our life isn't dull!"
"Come on, Edward looked miserable the whole school year!"
"He wasn't happy because of you!" She replied, her finger pointing me like a child.
"Hey!"
"Keep it down!" yelled at us one of the passengers.
Edward had still to talk, I was wondering why he didn't try to convince me.
"You don't want me to be like you?" I asked him.
"Of course not, I'm not that selfish."
"I don't get it."
Alice made me spin toward her.
"Being single and not spending time chasing would make any one of us feel depressed. I'm with Jasper and we're so happy, it's worth it."
"I never saw Jasper smile, he too looked miserable at school." I grumbled.
"That's because being a vegetarian is really hard for him. But the rest of the time he's really happy."
"Is she saying the truth?" I asked Edward, smiling like never before, and was sure I dazzled him.
"Our lifestyle isn't easy but we all do our best to be happy about it." Stated his sister.
"Do you know other words than happy? You're on Prozac or something? And Rosalie also looked like she hated it there."
"Bella, you're impossible!"
"Guys, come on!" yelled again someone.
"Edward, why were you so gloomy?" I whispered to him.
"Before you, my life was boring most of the time, but I was content with my family. When you arrived, you changed everything for me, nothing could have been the same. I was angry at you at first, and I did have fancied your blood for some time but-"
"You what? You were always acting as if I was stinking."
"That's because you were with those dogs every weekend."
"Dogs? Oh, you mean the Quileute. So they were right about the legends!"
"Edward, she needs to make a decision." Pointed Alice.
"I need a drink, please."
She ordered champagne for me but I cut her off and demanded vodka instead. When the flight attendant asked my age, Edward smiled at her and assured her I was twenty-one. She believed him. I was torn.
"That's a gift you have here, Edward. But I don't like what you just did."
"I was helping you getting you something to calm you, and just this one time, Bella."
"You flirted with her, in front of me." I reproached him.
"Sorry, my love."
I took the glass, with too little vodka poured in it but it would have to do.
"Bella, think that you'll have eternity with your soulmate, pleaded Alice. Nothing's better. I know what it's like to be alone and then being with your soulmate. Edward is the only single person in our family, he had so many occasions but refused them all, because he was waiting for his soulmate, too. He's still a virgin."
At that point, I couldn't keep the vodka in my mouth, and it was her fault anyway. Alice stared in disbelief at me, then at her clothes.
"Don't!" warned her my vampire.
"So sex is the main reason I could be happy if I become like you?"
"Not just sex, Bella, love." nuanced Edward.
"Really? Because it's hard to think straight at what's happening when you're so close to me, baby."
He dropped his eyes and gave me a crooked smile, which wasn't helping me staying well-behaved. I kissed him, what else could I do?
"Miss? Called one passenger. You have to do something about those kids!"
Alice got up and flirted with the inconvenienced passenger. Edward would tell me later she saw I wouldn't be able to stop touching him until arriving in London and she didn't want to see that.
_oOo_
"Hello Bella, thank you so much for what you did. You saved m y son, and my whole family. Unfortunately, the Volturi called Carlisle, he promised you'll be turned within twenty-four hours. I'm sorry." Said their mom as we joined them in a private lounge at the airport of Heathrow.
"Esme, right?" I asked.
"Yes."
"What will happen if it doesn't work?"
"You're young and healthy, the transformation will succeed, I'm positive about it."
"What I meant was, what will happen if being a vampire doesn't work for me?"
She looked so surprised and looked at Edward, so he could explain to her.
"She doesn't want to live away from the sun, nor being able to drink alcohol." betrayed me Alice, anger in her voice.
"Bella hasn't decided yet, let's give her some time." My mate asked.
"They send one of their emissaries, we're all in danger because of her!" shouted Rosalie.
I glanced at the door, without Edward by my side, I would already have run away.
"No one is forcing you, said Carlisle. I never turned someone who wasn't already dying. You have to trust me on that, I'm not playing God, here."
"Can I talk privately to Edward?"
"Sure."
"We don't have time for what you're planning, Bella, guessed Alice. And you might end up being transformed that way."
Edward got so worked up immediately, I kissed his cheek and took his hand.
"It's worth it, I swear, continued his sister. You'll thank me later. I saw it, you're gonna be so-"
"Happy? So being a vampire means living in the unicorns' kingdom?"
"She's gonna be like that for eternity?" whined Rosalie but Emmett was laughing.
"Just ten minutes, please." I asked again.
"I'll be watching." Alice threatened us as they were all leaving the room.
"You can refuse, my love," Edward assured me after I spend eight of our ten minutes alone to kiss him.
"It won't be easy for me to adjust, right?"
"No, but I know a way to keep you occupied." He promised.
I wished his family wasn't with us, I would have asked for a little preview.
"No high school!" I required.
"I swear, we'll do and go as you wish."
"Are you really that rich?"
"Yes."
He said to me on the plane, that my blood was singing to him, that it had pushed him to the edge, and he had almost killed me to drink me when we sat together that first day in class.
"What if you're not attracted to me once I'd be like you?"
"I'm not attracted to you, Bella, I'm crazy about you, you have no idea. It won't change, and once you won't be as fragile as you are now, I'll show you what loving you is doing to me."
"Yeah?" I was thrilled, I was digging him more and more.
"They're right outside, my love."
Two hours later, we reached a mansion hidden deep in the forest, north from London. Edward promised me he'd stay next to me until the transformation would be completed. Only Carlisle had remained with us, he was the one with the best control, the others had gone hunting.
"Let's do this," I said to Carlisle, I didn't feel I had a choice anyway.
He took my wrist and bite me really deep just once. Edward was hugging me, his lips on my forehead all the time.
"Why is it burning?" I started to pant.
"You didn't tell her?!" Carlisle panicked.
"I completely forgot," Edward admitted.
"What's happening to me?!" I screamed.
"I'm sorry, my love."
_oOo_
"Come on, you love my badass attitude!"
"I just love you." He tried to deny while I was finishing my graffiti.
"You love the way I am, as I love you the way you are, even when you're annoying."
"And I love you, even when you're breaking the law!"
"Yesterday, I stole the drugs that guy was going to sell to high schoolers! I should be rewarded!"
"But why do you have to paint on the principal office's door? You wrote High school sucks."
"Cause it's true. There, I just have to sign "Emmett" and we can go!"
"You're lucky you're still stronger than him."
"It's their fault I'm stuck in that boring town of Dracut! Sometimes I miss Forks."
"It's because you're too savage, I can't handle you alone."
"Come on, you love that too."
"Forever won't be boring for us." He commented as I jumped on his back so we could go to our secret spot.
THE END