New
I stormed into the throne room, my magic preceding me in waves of slithering, frosty darkness.
The goblins froze.
I kept my voice calm to maximize the chance of discovering what the bloody hell they'd been thinking. "Explain yourselves."
At last, one of my braver subjects ventured a reply. "What would you like us to explain, your Majesty?"
I nodded slowly, the very picture of benign sovereignty, before flinging two words back at them. "The earwax."
Several worried glances were exchanged. "Aaaah...this would be about Miss Sarah's present?"
"It would indeed." If I was very careful, the words wouldn't form ice as soon as they left my lips.
The answer came spilling out from a dozen stammering mouths. "It was N-N-New Year's Above—"
"—which sounds like 'new ears' if you say it f-fast—"
"—and what's n-new from ears all the time b-b-but wax—"
"—and you've been worrying w-w-why the lady never invites you over w-w-with us—"
"—and we was thinking it's because you need to l-l-lighten up a little, begging your pardon, of course..."
In a horrific moment of clarity, I suddenly understood precisely why Sarah had woken up to a ball of approximately crystal-sized goblin earwax lying blithely on her nightstand, with a note wishing her "Hapy New 'Earz — thingking uv yu. Luv, Jareth."
I closed my eyes and counted very slowly to ten. Of course they meant well. When I opened my eyes again, my magic had receded into the shadows behind me, roiling like a very small, pissed off ocean. "In the future, please do not assist my relations with Sarah."
Silence for a heartbeat. Then: "B-b-but she did call you right after, your Maj—"
I held up a hand. "No. No helping."
"But—"
"None!"
"Yes, your Majesty."