She considered they may have fallen into the habit of spending too much time alone together when he began to invade her dreams.
Perhaps it had been their intimate touches in the lake.
Perhaps it had been those infamous double dimples flashed in tune with the dance in his eyes at the Helsinki stand-up show they had attended before crashing in their hotel room.
Perhaps it had been his verbalized curiosities to the team in the control room the following morning, the way Dylan had learnt as much as he could about the recording process as Brenda situated herself on a tall office chair, dove into her script, and began channeling a brazen fairytale princess.
Perhaps it had been the concern Dylan had shown when they had returned home to find their friends worried over Cindy's silent state.
Perhaps it had been the way Dylan had stroked Brenda's arm as she tried to find it in herself to comfort Cindy; from what, Brenda didn't know.
Perhaps it had been his meeting her at the bus stop at the end of Brenda's solo day in Helsinki.
Perhaps it had been his smile when Brenda rummaged through her drawers and pulled on one of Dylan's shirts.
Perhaps it had been the way he had looked at her when she had worn his shirt, like he had never seen anything more fascinating.
Whatever the reason had been, Brenda now often found Dylan to be the star of her dreams.
It wasn't terrible to dream of Dylan McKay, or to dream of Dylan reaching out his hand to unearth Brenda from the rubble of the train.
He did turn her nightmares into pleasant dreams, which was certainly a bonus.
The difficult part was trying to determine whether she would still be dreaming of Dylan if he didn't sleep beside her every night.
If they still shared their child, but not a home, would her mind focus on him half as much?
Brenda turned her thoughts to the tea in her cup, stirring mindlessly as she weighed the complexities in her relationship with Dylan against the relaxing evening she had had with Luca.
She pondered over whether she would still have fun with Luca if their casual dynamic became more serious.
Or was she starting to wonder what it would be like to begin a serious relationship with Dylan?
If they did go that route, would they learn how to maintain it, or would there never be anything more for them than broken highways?
"Thought you agreed to cut back on the tea."
Whipping around, Brenda flung a hand against her heart. "Didn't think anyone would catch me at this time of night."
"Better me than Dylan." Valerie dug through the fridge. "Cheesecake?" She held up a slice.
"No thank you," said Brenda. "I'll take some pie, though."
Valerie retrieved two forks and handed Brenda her pie.
"Dylan must really like pie for our baby to want it this much," said Brenda as she separated out a piece.
The pie, she had been told, had been made by Cindy.
Brenda had tried to encourage her mother to see a doctor about Cindy's incoherent ramblings.
Cindy had refused, and continued her compulsive cleaning.
The Walsh twins and Dylan were told only that Valerie had shared with Cindy something that Val said should have been kept to herself.
Val refused to elaborate on what she had said.
David had rebutted Val's words by saying he, not Valerie, had been the one to upset Cindy. Val had told David to quit pinning the blame on himself when it had been her fault.
Dylan had assured Brenda that her mother's state of mind had not, contradictory to Brenda's insistence, been Brenda's fault just because Cindy had visited specifically for Brenda.
Brandon had suggested they give it another few hours or so before bringing Cindy to the hospital.
Cindy had then snapped out of it. She told David she didn't know what David was talking about when he asked her what she had been saying about some woman called Abby who Brenda thought may have been Valerie's mother.
Cindy and Valerie, Brenda knew, had spent the afternoon alone.
"I believe he lived off of the Peach Pit grub growing up," said Val in response to the comment Brenda had nearly forgotten in her reverie. "The McKays aren't exactly known for their cooking skills."
"Dylan's been improving immensely in his cooking classes," said Brenda. "He only burnt the rice a little bit last time."
"That's because rice is fucking hard to cook," said Val.
Brenda thought it rather simple.
"What's the Peach Pit?" she asked.
"It's a diner you used to frequent, run by a close friend who's been bugging all of us to see you," said Val. "We told Nat to wait 'til you were ready."
Brenda asked if the Nat in question was the same Nat she had heard Dylan speak of in AA.
"There's only one Nat," said Val. The affectionate tinge in her voice sounded similar to Dylan's.
Dylan seemed to hold Nat in the highest regard, with the love a son has for his father.
Perhaps Valerie felt similarly.
Brenda had quickly gathered that Val didn't dish out affectionate tones to just anyone.
"Then I would like to meet him," said Brenda.
"I'll let him know," said Val.
"Could Nat persuade my mother into opening up about whatever David said she started to?" asked Brenda.
"Nat and maybe Iris," said Val. "Has Dylan heard from her yet?"
"Nothing yet. Maybe if we knew what put Cindy into such a state -"
"Nice try," said Val. "After what happened to Cindy, I won't be telling anyone ever again," she insisted.
"Telling us what?"
"We're going the sports bra and Dylan's unbuttoned jersey route." Quick to change the subject, Valerie scrutinized Brenda's choice of nightwear. "Nice. Didn't take Dylan to be an Angels fan. I'll steal Brandon's jersey for you before Bran thinks you've betrayed the Twins and converted."
Recognizing it was useless to press Valerie into a response, Brenda self-consciously looked down. "Do you think it's too much?" she asked. "I got hot."
"I'd get hot too, sleeping next to a mini-Adonis every night."
"He is single," said Brenda. "You could sleep by him."
"Again, not interested. Neither's Dylan. And need I remind you how well you took it when you thought we did sleep together?"
"Well, regardless of how Dylan may look and perhaps feel, that's not why I got hot," said Brenda.
"Sure babe," said Val.
"I've an increased amount of blood that makes me warmer, whether I'm sleeping next to Dylan or alone," Brenda recited from her latest scan. "You try sleeping with a cabbage strapped to you and see if you don't get just as hot. At least, they claim my baby's the size of a cabbage. This belly begs to differ."
"You won't always have the pregnancy excuse to avoid dealing with your feelings for Dylan, you know."
"Didn't you encourage me to date Luca?"
"There's a difference between dating Luca to help you sort out the Dylan thing and dating Luca to avoid sorting out the Dylan thing. You wanted to see if it was possible for you to fall for anyone else. What's the verdict?"
"It's too early to tell," said Brenda.
She tried to pinpoint when Valerie's hatred for Dylan had dissipated; though the more time Brenda spent around the two of them, she became less convinced that Valerie had ever truly loathed Dylan.
Brenda and Valerie discussed Brenda's second date with Luca, a visit to a local festival that had expanded Brenda's cultural knowledge.
"I like him," she said. "He makes me laugh, and he knows a lot about the world. He's even taught me some German," she added before attempting the little German she had learnt.
"He isn't so bad on the eyes, either," said Val.
"If that was all I wanted, Dylan would be the easy option. Or David, for that matter," Brenda joked.
"You didn't see David's hair at its worst," said Val. "So this has nothing to do with Luca's best friend owning a pet shop?" she asked.
"It's just a nice perk."
"Uh-huh. Will there be a third date?"
"I don't know," said Brenda. "Between work, appointments, the lawsuit, and trying to keep Dylan's impatient child in for another ten weeks, I might not have the time or the energy to keep dating."
"The time to keep dating Luca, or the time to keep dating in general?"
Brenda didn't have an answer.
"So is it too much?" she repeated, pointing at her clothing.
"Too much for Dylan, or too much for the rest of us?" asked Val. "Because I'm pretty sure Dylan would think it is too much, but not the way you're asking." Valerie washed down her cheesecake with a tall glass of chocolate milk that Brenda had been warned by Steve wasn't safe for Brenda's consumption.
Brenda thought Steve had been speaking tall tales when he told Brenda that Valerie's drinks often held the possibility of being spiked.
It took an additional warning from Dylan before Brenda stopped trying to retrieve the gallon out of Steve's unfair reach.
"When you decide that you're gonna dump Luca and live the rest of your life in Dylan's arms as his equally wealthy wife, I want to be the first to know," said Val.
"I should be asking you about news on the David front," said Brenda.
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Val.
"You're wearing his shirt and I believe I saw him head into your bedroom after dinner," Brenda noted.
"David's just being overprotective right now. I can't help it if his shirts are more comfortable than mine."
"That's exactly what I told you the first time you saw me in Dylan's, and then you told me that was bullshit." Brenda rinsed off her plate. "Are you confused about David?"
"He just - he feels like a safe haven," Val admitted. "Just between you and me, when David's around, it's easier - it's easier to sleep. Peacefully. But I'm not about to let him back in, not after how much I know he's hurt me and could hurt me again if I lose my resolve."
Brenda glanced in the direction of her bedroom.
"I know exactly what you mean," she said. She took Val's finished plate and rinsed it off. "Maybe we need a break from the guys."
"Didn't you get a break when you were alone in Helsinki today?" asked Val.
"I mean, maybe we should have a day alone with the girls," said Brenda. "A day away from all of our conflicting feelings and emotions. We could invite Donna and Clare. And -"
"Don't say Kelly."
"- And Kelly," finished Brenda. "Possibly Alina, unless she'd think that would be a conflict of interest."
"Can you do a spa?" asked Val.
"I could do some treatments," said Brenda. "Please, Val? I really need something to take my mind off of the lawsuit. And Dylan. And Luca. And all my annoying hormones."
"Bren, I haven't spent time with Kelly like that in I don't know how long and I think we both prefer it that way."
"If you marry David and Kelly marries Brandon, you're gonna be seeing an awful lot of each other."
"No one said anything about marriage. Could it be our Brenda is thinking about heading down the aisle herself? Maybe toward dimples and twinkly brown eyes?"
"All of you said Brandon almost got married. It isn't a leap to wonder if he'll consider it again."
"It's a leap to think I would, especially with David."
Valerie suggested inviting Andrea. Brenda agreed, though she doubted Andrea's availability.
"The boys can baby-sit Hannah," said Val. "Dylan needs the practice."
"I think we should ask them before we start offering their baby-sitting services," said Brenda. "Val?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Was there liquor in that?" Brenda pointed to Val's chocolate-stained glass.
Valerie didn't say one way or the other.
Clare's response was saturated in hesitation, though Brenda realized Clare's hesitation stemmed from other concerns.
"There's no reason you should lose your friends because Steve's upset with you," said Brenda.
"You're also Steve's friend," said Clare. "Won't he be upset with you for still hanging out with me?"
"He can't get upset with me without Dylan and Brandon getting upset with him," said Brenda. "Throw Val in there and Steve's stuck."
"I don't know, Bren. I don't really want to put any of you in the middle of this."
"You were in the play," said Brenda.
"I'd made a commitment," said Clare. "I wasn't going to break it."
"At least come by the shop so we can discuss this in-person," said Brenda. "We'll be leaving towards week's end so Donna and Kel can join us before they fly out. Val thinks it will help the case to see if I can handle an overnighter away from both Dylan and Brandon."
"I'll think about it," said Clare.
David agreed to act as buffer between Steve and Clare. The former had consented only to speak to Clare via phone, and only to back up what Brenda had said.
Telling Steve in front of Dylan that the very idea of ending her friendship with Clare was causing Brenda unnecessary stress had certainly helped sway Steve in her favor.
It had been a long day at the studio, with many a rewrite and numerous re-recordings, but Brenda had loved every second.
Brenda Walsh had been born to work.
She latched onto the pullcord, bringing it down towards her just in time for the bus to stop at the hospital.
She thanked the driver and walked the familiar steps to her second antenatal class.
This time, Dylan had insisted nothing would prevent him from coming.
The first to arrive, Brenda seated herself and began to rub out the pains in her lower back.
"I could show you technique to help with your aches, if you'd like."
She looked up to see Luca smiling from the doorway.
"If you can get the pain to stop for even a second, I'd love you forever," said Brenda. She clamped down her mouth. "I - I didn't mean -"
"It is okay," said Luca. "It is figure of speech, ja?" Squatting behind Brenda, he began to knead her skin. "You like books, yes?"
"Tremendously," said Brenda.
"There is literary tour I enjoy. Would it be of interest to you?"
Though Brenda accepted a third date with Luca, she startled herself with a momentary surge of guilt.
Or was it a different emotion?
"Is that better?" asked Luca.
"Much," said Brenda. "I keep wondering how I'm going to be able to tell the difference between labor back pain and regular back pain when I keep getting the latter."
"Labor back pain is in more regular intervals than the pain you feel now, and is also sharper. Isn't that right, König?"
Brenda looked up to see Dylan's laser focus aimed on Luca.
"Sorry I'm late," said Dylan as he swooped down to kiss Brenda's cheek. "Meeting ran longer than expected."
"Dylan's writing a children's book," said Brenda happily. "You're not late. I was the first one here."
"So you were early? That's a first," said Dylan. "Book's just for our daughter," he told Luca. "Might publish a few things after it. Depends on how the process goes." Dylan swung his satchel off his shoulder, hooked his thumbs into his denim pockets and crooked his head. "Hope I didn't inconvenience either of you by interrupting anything."
"Luca was showing me how to lessen my back pain," said Brenda. "It feels much better now."
"Then I offer you my sincerest thanks for healing her, König," said Dylan. "Although; now, I'm just curious here, but as the person Brenda's asked to hold her as I help her deliver our daughter, don't you think it'd be nice for me to know this magic soothing technique you have for Brenda's back? Unless you're planning to join us? You'll need a midwife costume, then. What size are you?"
Luca stood, allowing Dylan to swap places.
Luca instructed Dylan of the proper way to knead Brenda's back, paying specific attention to her tight muscles. Dylan's fists then compressed all the way up to Brenda's neck.
"How does that feel, babe?" he asked against Brenda's ear.
It felt nothing short of phenomenal.
"So König's teaching the class again," said Dylan, throwing a cursory glance in Luca's direction.
"Is that a problem for you?" asked Brenda.
"It's a little weird to be taught labor techniques by your boyfriend, but my focus right now is on my girls and what they need. Regardless of who teaches us."
If Luca thought it awkward to see Brenda's head against Dylan's chest and her bent legs between Dylan's as she practiced her breathing techniques, Luca didn't show it.
Just as Dylan didn't reveal his own feelings when Luca stood behind Brenda to show her how to properly change a diaper.
Or Luca didn't so much as twitch when Dylan sat in front of Brenda, cupping her fist as Brenda bent over and imagined herself in labor.
Nevertheless, Brenda didn't like having put either of the men in any potentially uncomfortable situation.
"It's bound to be expected, Bren," said Donna. "Of course the guy you're dating would be the guy teaching yours and Dylan's antenatal class."
"A very cute guy," Kelly pointed out.
"I think you mean a fucking gorgeous guy," said Valerie. Having confirmed with Brenda that alcohol would be allowed during their girls event, Val handed everyone except Brenda a margarita.
Clare had been the one to bring the alcohol.
"Gorgeous guys are known to flock to Bren," Val added. "It must be something in the Walsh DNA. Her cousins get them, too."
"I still think this is a bad idea," said an overly nervous Clare.
"I don't," said Andrea. "Bren needs a break, you need a break, Kelly needs a break, and I bet Donna does, too. Look, I love Steve, but he can't tell us who to be friends with."
"What about me?" Val pouted over her margarita glass.
"You need a couple hundred breaks," said Andrea.
"'Tis true," said Val.
"Before we get too drunk," said Donna, "I want to be sure to give Bren this." She lifted a rather large album off of Clare's coffee table and handed it to Brenda.
Brenda smoothed her hand over the metallic cover.
"What is it?" she asked cautiously.
"Open it, silly!" said Donna.
Brenda leafed through sticker-embellished pages, with plenty of faces smiling up at her.
"He looks so young," she said, tracing the image of a shirtless Dylan.
"That was right before we started summer school our junior year," said Donna. "You and Dylan had just broken up, but when Kel and I walked over and I saw the way you and Dylan were looking at each other, I knew you weren't over."
"Brandon looks so young, too," said Kelly.
"We all do," said Andrea, setting her pinkie finger on a picture of Steve.
Turning the next page, Brenda began to howl with laughter.
"Oh God, it's that dress," she said.
Valerie explained how Brenda had found the old Spring Fling dress in a box of Brenda's old items.
"I sometimes wonder what I was thinking," said Kelly as she joined in on Brenda's laughter.
"So do I," said Brenda.
"We both thought it was so cool at the time," said Kelly.
"Look, say what you want about your dresses now, but neither of them are worse than my red dress," said Donna.
Brenda recognized the red dress from the first night Dylan had surprised her.
"So that's why it was part of the decor," she mused.
The others were too distracted by memory lane to hear.
"Oh my God, look at David!" said Clare.
Valerie's indifference made its insincerity known when Brenda caught Val sneaking a peek.
"Do you ever think Steve looks back on his wardrobe choices with the deepest regrets?" asked Andrea.
"Never mind that," said Val. "What was up with Brandon's hair? Did Trey know Bran had a mullet? Trey used to say only grown men with bad taste had mullets. Brandon said he would never get one in a million years."
"Rob Lowe pulled it off," said Donna.
Of that, Valerie and Donna were in agreement.
In fact, all the women were, save for Brenda who asked who Rob Lowe was, and Clare who had never been attracted to the prettyboy type.
"Except Brandon," said Donna.
"It was just a crush," said Clare.
"You had a crush on my brother?" asked Brenda.
"Bren, there isn't a single woman in this room who hasn't had a crush on Brandon at one point or another," said Val.
"It's true," said Donna.
Brenda didn't know how to feel about that.
"That mullet hair was the first night I saw Bran," said Kelly. "Don, that's the day we met Bren."
"Please tell me I never wore neon Spandex," said Brenda before snapping the scrapbook shut. "Thank you for this, Donna." Brenda held the book of hazed memories to her chest. "I mean it."
"I just wanted to contribute somehow, like the others have," said Donna. "It was nothing."
"If you call asking the old Yearbook advisor for any unpublished photos of our class 'nothing,'" said Kelly.
"Kel," said Donna.
"I didn't miss the way you snuck in that picture of Brandon and I," said Kelly.
"Can I help it if all our group photos that night had you standing by Brandon?" asked Donna innocently.
"Margarita time!" said Val.
Having designated herself the driver, Andrea declined.
Donna offered to drive, suggesting that Andrea instead hold the map.
"Don," said Andrea, "on the chance that we might come across, oh, perhaps a small wildlife creature obstructing our journey, what would you do?"
Donna agreed that Andrea should drive.
Valerie instructed Brenda to sit nearest the door, lest Brenda require more rest stops than the others.
"I'm not that bad," said Brenda.
"You aren't," said Val. "She is."
Brenda's amount of needed stops didn't keep Valerie from resting her head on Brenda's stomach and her feet on Clare's legs.
"Guess we're Val's cushion for the day," said Clare.
"I'm glad you came," said Brenda.
"I don't think Steve's going to live it down anytime soon with Dylan thinking Steve had been stressing you out," Clare laughed.
"If you hadn't come with us, I may have been legitimately stressed," Brenda defended.
Clare mouthed a pleased thank you.
"We're about an hour away from the guys," said Andrea as she looked in the rearview mirror. "How are you feeling, Bren?"
"I think I can do this," said Brenda.
"Of course you can," said Kelly. "We'll help you."
"And Dylan said he's got a friend with a jet if he needs to get to you quickly," said Donna.
"He does not," said Brenda. "He only says that because I almost did believe him when he told me he has access to a private jet. In my defense, I had barely gotten to know him and he could have honestly told me anything that I would have believed."
Brenda reached ahead of her to squeeze Donna's hand.
"I wish you could stay longer," she said. "Both of you," she added towards Kelly.
"We'll be back for the hearing," said Kelly. "Neither of us could focus if we didn't."
"I just hate putting Dylan and Brandon through this," said Brenda.
"We've been over this," said Val. "You aren't putting them through this. Jim is."
"But Jim's doing it because of me," said Brenda.
Valerie suggested they blast the radio, which effectively shushed Brenda's blame-ridden thoughts.
Val then banned all talk of men for the rest of the day, fathers and childrens' fathers included.
"What about guys you think you wanna break up with but you don't wanna hurt them even though they've basically been giant jerks lately who might be sleeping with your cousin, and guys you're worried about being with in case your mother does something to him?" asked Donna.
"You have a cousin?" asked Val.
"Gina," Donna reminded her.
"Oh right, the girl who came into town right before I left," said Val. "She's sleeping with Noah?"
"Maybe I'm just being paranoid because I've been emotionally cheating on him with D'Shawn," said Donna.
"Or maybe you should trust your gut," said Val. "If your gut says Noah's cheating, then girl; the guy's cheating."
Valerie again commanded silence about men.
"What about exes that barely talk to you except when their friends force them to?" asked Clare.
"Or exes that aren't convinced they want to stay your ex, but are also hesitant to be anything else to you since you've developed this awful habit of hurting each other?" asked Kelly.
"All men," said Valerie. "When Bren convinced me to go on this trip, she said there wouldn't be any talk of men. I'm holding her to that."
"We haven't even reached our destination," said Brenda, though she made certain to keep to herself her question on how the men were handling baby-sitting duty.
Specifically how Dylan was handling baby-sitting duty.
Val's right, thought Brenda. I'm supposed to clear my head of Dylan, Luca, and Jim and focus on having a good time with the girls.
That was easier said than done with Dylan's child continuously moving around inside her.
Brenda counted the kicks, as she had been advised to do.
"You can't think of them either," said Val.
Half of the car groaned.
"Oh, like you aren't thinking of someone in particular," said Donna.
"Matta' fact, I'm thinking of my next fix as soon as we get to the place," said Val.
"Remember," said Kelly, "we all decided this trip is a celebration of Brenda's new job, so Bren gets to tell us what to do."
"That's unusual, coming from Kelly Taylor," said Val.
"Valerie, have you ever considered that the animosity between us doesn't lay solely with me?" asked Kelly.
"It's more entertaining this way, Kel," said Val.
"I don't know how you lived around them," Brenda told Clare and Donna.
"It helped to have Don as the mediator," said Clare.
"Val's softened tremendously since she left town, even if Kel's reluctant to admit it," said Donna.
Brenda felt a buzz come from her purse and removed the mobile she almost forgot was there.
Ten kick counts? the text read.
Brenda smiled and texted back confirmation.
Good, it said. Missing you already. Steve's whining over Arnold.
A scrambled text message expressing denial told Brenda that a perhaps tipsy Steve had snatched Dylan's mobile.
Who's watching Hannah? she asked.
Your brother and I, Dylan replied. We're both enjoying Hannah chasing after Silver.
She's chasing after David?
If it's possible for a four-year-old to have a crush, the little Zuckerman's got one.
Guess Hannah's not waiting 'til she's forty.
Ha ha ha. Anyway, hope you enjoy the time away. Bed's gonna feel awfully lonely tonight.
Brenda didn't get the chance to respond before her mobile ended up in Valerie's hands.
"He was checking up on the baby!" said Brenda.
"He's one of the reasons you begged me to go on this trip," said Val. "Texting not-boyfriend baby daddy bed partners is also not allowed. Anyone caught texting any guy on this trip will immediately have their phones taken away by me, or by Clare."
"Why are you bringing me into this?" asked Clare.
"You have the bigger purse," shrugged Val.
Kelly's phone shortly followed Brenda's, with Kelly protesting that she had merely answered Brandon's question about whether he could feed chocolate to a four-year-old.
"Cindy's there," said Val.
"Cindy hasn't taken care of a four-year-old in eons," said Kelly. "Erin's much closer to four."
"There's also Andrea's giant book of instructions," said Val.
"To be fair, I didn't cover chocolate," said Andrea. "It was specifically a section on sundaes, which Hannah only gets one Sunday every other month."
Brenda didn't have any intention of limiting her daughter's ice-cream intake when she hardly attempted to limit her own.
"Oh, come on!" said Clare as her phone went in with the other two. "Daddy had an important question, Val!"
"Asking you which tie he should wear to a function is not an important question," said Val.
"It's an incredibly important function," said Clare. "He's meeting the French president and everything."
"Then he can ask the French president which tie to wear," said Val.
Brenda zoned in on the shape of her mobile in Valerie's purse, mulling over whether Dylan might think she had purposely avoided answering his text.
"I should really just make sure that -" she began, lunging for Valerie's purse.
"No men," said Val as she placed her purse out of Brenda's reach.
"But he'll think he upset me," Brenda frowned.
"Then he's got a whole group over there to talk him out of it," said Val.
"What if I go into labor?" asked Brenda.
"Are you in labor?"
"No and I don't plan on being so today, but if I do go into it, then can I have my mobile?"
"If you go into labor, we're tracking down a private jet and a pilot to go with it," said Val.
"Great," said Brenda, "then you won't mind if I hold onto your mobile, too."
She grabbed it out of Valerie's purse, noting the texts from David telling Val that Hannah's crush wasn't funny.
"You weren't supposed to see that," said Val. "But if you note the time stamp of my last text," she opened it to show Brenda, "that was when we were first starting out."
"So Andrea and I are the only ones who haven't texted any guys in this car?" asked Donna. "Cool!"
"Andrea's driving and your boyfriends have California numbers," said Val. "The rest of them are on international SIM cards. The fees for you would be astronomical."
"Still," said Donna. "We win."
Dylan and Brandon had agreed to let Brenda take care of her regimen herself, though they had charged Valerie with ensuring Brenda did.
It came as a shock, then, when Donna was the one to request they stop for a bite.
Brenda got out of the car, stretching as she went.
"I think those guys are checking us out," said Valerie as she did the same.
"Thought this is a lads-free trip," said Brenda. "And I'm fairly certain they're only checking you out."
"They're definitely checking out both of us, babe. No harm in looking."
Brenda stopped stretching.
She insisted she be permitted to call Dylan when they arrived, just to let him know they had arrived safely.
"I have five minutes," said Brenda. "Val's been taking our phones every time we even try to text one of you. Just wanted to let you know we're here."
"I'll tell B," said Dylan. "We were trying to not overdo it on the texts, but when you didn't answer and B couldn't get a response back from Val or Kel either, we did get a little worried."
"A little worried?" called out David. "Dylan almost called the hospitals!"
"Dammit, Silver! Hang on, Bren."
Brenda could hear everything Dylan said in the background.
"Don't tell her that, man! I don't want Bren thinking I'm controlling."
"Given the situation, I'm pretty sure she'd understand," said David.
"I do," said Brenda.
"You; uh, you weren't supposed to hear that," said Dylan.
"You were concerned about us. It's sweet."
"Fair warning: I don't see the worry lessening anytime soon," said Dylan.
"I get it," she said.
"I'm guessing Val's hovering?"
"That would be correct, McKay," said Valerie from over Brenda's shoulder. "Say bye to your baby mama so she can get going to her facial scrub."
"Give her all the pampering she's allowed," said Dylan. "Bill's on me."
"Bill's on you?" asked Val with keen interest.
"Bren's bill is on me," Dylan clarified.
"Do I get the option to decline?" asked Brenda.
Both Dylan and Valerie told Brenda she did not have that option.
"I expect you to call me the second there's any kind of issue," said Dylan.
"Dyl, I'm really proud of you for sticking to your sobriety, but man, are you a worrywart when you're sober," said Val.
"The two people who make up my entire life are in that room with you, Val. I'm trusting they're in good hands."
Valerie's tone became gentler.
"Won't let anything happen to either of them," she promised. "They're two of the people who make up my life, too."
"Same goes for you and Brandon," Brenda told Dylan. "I expect my boys to be in the condition I left them in when I return."
"Aye aye, Captain," said Dylan.
"And maybe you can figure out why Cindy's been so quiet?"
"Will try my best."
"It's this thing with Jim," said Val. "It's really getting to her."
Brenda thought that was only half of the story.
If Valerie knew the other half, as Brenda was convinced Val did, she wasn't budging.
Fresh from her facial scrub, Brenda prepared for her prenatal massage as she listened to the chatter from the other women.
"Bren, I was thinking of adding maternity clothing to the line," said Donna. "Would you mind if I sent you a few to try on and see if you think they're worth adding?"
"I wouldn't mind at all," said Brenda.
"Including wedding dresses?" asked Donna.
"Uh. Sure," said Brenda.
Her masseuse, Lumi, possessed little grasp on the English language and relied solely on nonverbal communication to inform Brenda that she should turn to her side and be supported by the offered cushions.
Dylan and Luca may have both been amateur masseurs in their own right, but neither of them could get out the knots quite like Lumi could.
Although visits to the sauna were quite common during pregnancy amongst those who had grown up in the country, Brenda had assured Dylan that she wouldn't chance it.
Half of the group split up, with some heading for the sauna and others going with Brenda to receive their mani-pedis.
"This was exactly what I needed." Brenda relaxed into the chair as her swollen ankles took refuge in the bubbling footbath. "Have we done this before?"
"Once," said Kelly. "We didn't have nearly as good of an experience. I'm glad we got this chance to try again."
"I know you and my brother have decided to put things on hold for now, but if you do end up marrying him, may I suggest this become an annual thing?" asked Brenda.
"Bren, it can become an annual thing whether I marry Brandon or not," said Kelly.
"Though we all know you will," said Donna.
"Better not tell Val we were discussing a guy," said Brenda.
"I think Val's only exception to that rule is Brandon," said Donna.
"And I think Valerie's indulged in one too many margaritas to care." Kelly nodded towards the view of Valerie lounging by the pool, drink in hand as she engaged in conversation with Andrea.
"Should I be concerned how much Val's been drinking lately?" Brenda stilled her hand as much as possible to make it easier for her silent manicurist. "She thinks I don't know, but I do know."
"I wouldn't dwell too much on it," said Kelly. "The girl does love her drink."
"Kel," admonished Donna.
"Believe it or not, Don, I'm not passing judgment. It's just a fact. Everyone knows Valerie loves a good party."
"Don, what do you think?" asked Brenda.
"I've never been as close with Val as you have, Bren, largely because Val doesn't let many people close, but I did notice the same," said Donna.
"Do you think Val's hiding something?" asked Brenda.
Kelly ensured to look everywhere but at Brenda.
"Kel? Do you know something?"
"Val probably likes the taste," said Kelly.
Brenda instinctively knew there had to be more to Valerie's inclination to drink than Kelly thought, but Brenda couldn't fathom what reason it would be.
"We're supposed to share the room," said Brenda.
"You can share with Donna," said Kelly. "Valerie can sleep in my room."
"I don't know if that's the best idea," said Brenda. "Dylan said my screams have stopped, but that might not be the case tonight."
"All the more reason for me to stay with you," said Donna. "If your screams have stopped, I can confirm it before the lawyers try to drag you for it."
"Would Jim's lawyers do that?"
"Lawyers are notorious for dragging people," said Kelly.
"Kel should know," said Donna. "She dated one."
"Matt wasn't your average lawyer," said Kelly. "Jackie; now, she dated a shark of a lawyer."
"Jackie?" asked Brenda.
"My mother," said Kelly. "Her second husband was the attorney who handled her divorce from my dad."
"She had more than one husband?"
"Oh Bren," said Kelly, "sometimes I forg -" she stopped.
"You can say it," said Brenda.
"- get that everything I confided in you needs to be re-confided. If you - if you want me to. Not that Jackie's husbands are necessarily a secret from anyone."
"I want to know everything either of you ever told me," said Brenda. "No stipulations." She thought about it. "Well, maybe a few stipulations."
"It's good to have you back in our lives, Bren," said Donna. "Promise we won't drift again?"
"Is that what happened?" asked Brenda.
"Well, with us," said Donna. "We had started getting back on track before…anyway; with Kel, it was much more complicated."
"I'm done with complicated," said Kelly.
"Me too," said Brenda, "though it can't be easy for you to see this." She didn't gesture, or point, but Brenda didn't need to do so for Kelly to understand.
"Not for the reasons you think," Kelly said quietly.
It was the same lowered tone Brandon had given Brenda any time she tried to learn what secret he and Kelly had between them.
The same tone she received from Valerie when she tried to subtly pry about hers, or the tone Brenda got from Steve and Clare about theirs.
"Damn, you people have a lot of secrets," said Brenda.
It made her all the more determined to dig.
"I guess we do," said Kelly.
"I don't," said Donna.
"Not from us," said Brenda.
"I see your point," said Donna.
They figured they could get around Valerie's rule by focusing on the issues between Donna and her mother.
Kelly agreed with Brenda that Donna shouldn't permit Felice Martin to control Donna's relationships.
"She's now decided she's upset I'm not with David," said Donna.
"Are you upset you're not with David?" asked Brenda.
"Considering how dangerously close David and I came to not speaking to each other at all, no," said Donna. "I'd rather be David's friend than a discarded ex."
Brenda wondered if Dylan had chosen being her friend over being a discarded ex.
"I think I'll join Val at the pool," said Brenda when her nails had dried. "I could use a swim."
Maintaining a generous distance from Valerie, Brenda chose to swim closer to Clare.
"Kel said not to worry, but I'm worried," said Brenda. "How do you drink without going overboard?"
"Boarding school," said Clare. "It's either that or listen to the endless droning snobbery of people who will never need to prove their worth with their grades."
Brenda mused aloud whether Clare meant someone specific.
"Sorry, Bren. Boarding school was rough. I don't like to think about it, or about the catty bitches I roomed with." Clare bobbed in and out of the water, shaking off her resentments. "Anyway, what can we do, Bren?" asked Clare. "Val won't go to therapy and she won't seek help. You can't force someone to want better for themselves, but it's not like I want Val to hit rock bottom, or anything."
"Help for what?" asked Brenda.
"I can't tell you," said Clare.
"How bad is Val's secret that neither you, nor David will tell me? Doesn't Val trust Brandon and I to keep her secret?"
"She trusts you both implicitly," said Clare. "I don't think it has anything to do with that. I only know it because I walked over when she was telling Luca."
Brenda locked onto the information.
"She told Luca?" asked Brenda.
"Val let a few things slip when she was plastered one night and Luca happened to be the person she slipped those things out to," said Clare.
Brenda wondered how adept Luca König was at keeping secrets.
"It isn't my secret to tell," said Clare.
"What about your secret?" asked Brenda.
"I'm not sure Steve wants everyone to know. Truthfully, I'm not sure I do, either."
"Know what?"
Andrea knelt by the pool.
"Kelly's decided we're all in need of a good game of poker. Who's in?"
Brenda and Clare looked at each other, then gave half-hearted shrugs.
"We are," they said.
Although Brenda managed to get some decent hands and one Royal Flush, Kelly was by far the better bluffer.
"It's that angelic face," teased Donna.
Brenda stood as she yawned.
"Well, I'm beat," she said. "Thanks for this. I had fun."
Donna said she would join Brenda shortly. Brenda told Donna to take her time.
She checked in on Valerie, who Brenda was both relieved and concerned to see sound asleep.
She snuck on her tiptoes over to Valerie's purse, unzipping with little sound.
All clear with the warden? buzzed her phone as if he instinctively knew Brenda had just retrieved her mobile.
All clear, Brenda texted back. She's passed out. Should I stay with her?
I think Val would say it's better if you don't, Dylan texted back. She can be about as bad as me when I drink and believe me; you don't want to see that guy show up. What poison did Val opt for this time?
An endless stream of margaritas. I'm really worried about her, Dyl.
Yeah, me too. Silver started to tell Bran and I something a couple times, but kept cutting himself off.
What do you think it could be?
Dunno. With Val, could be anything.
Do you think Cindy might know?
If she does, your mother's a pretty good secret keeper, Bren. We can't exactly pry it out of her.
Figures. Clare drinks to enjoy, but I think Val has been drinking to forget.
Alcohol does do that to a person. Especially when they aren't willing to admit they need help.
Hesitant to delve into Dylan's addictions without knowing how long she would be conscious to discuss them, Brenda looked at the clock on the bedside table.
So you couldn't sleep? she texted.
Nope, he replied. Too used to the beautiful company. Are you planning to crash soon, or can I -
The message was sent unfinished.
Can you what?
Brenda had almost entered the state of mind where consciousness battles the dream world for control when her phone buzzed again.
Can I call you?
"Guess that's a yes," said Dylan in answer to Brenda's call. "Though I thought I was supposed to call you."
"My fingers are too tired to type out a response," said Brenda.
"I could kiss them and make them feel better if you were here," said Dylan.
"They've had plenty of pampering. They're just tired. And they miss you."
"Your fingers miss me?"
"It's been a whole fourteen hours since they saw you."
"My fingers miss you, too."
"Me, or the belly?"
"Both, obviously. And my chest misses your back."
"My feet don't miss your feet."
"What's wrong with my feet?"
Brenda told Dylan he had extremely cold feet.
"I think that's an exaggeration, babe," he said. "Yours might just feel too warm right now."
"They might," Brenda considered with a flicker of a glance to her rolled-up compression stockings placed near the bed in case they were required. "What are we going to do about Val?"
"We'll see if Brandon can get it out of her, but we're not giving up on her; that's for sure."
It was exactly what Brenda had wanted to hear.
"Dyl?"
"Yes, darlin'?"
"If I go to sleep now, will you stay on the line with me?"
"I was hoping you'd ask."
Brenda hung onto lucidity by a thread when she heard Dylan say either Bren, please don't marry Luca, or Bren, I'm shelling pukas.
"Not for sleeping," muttered Brenda about the pukas.
"Sleeping?" asked Dylan. "What do you mean, sleeping? You haven't even spent the night together. You're here every night."
"Extra thick," said Brenda so Dylan would know her puka preference.
There was silence, then a grumble of Mine's thicker.
"Big. Not too tightly packed," she added for further clarification.
"What the hell are you talking about, Bren?"
"Puka," Brenda whispered. "Nicely textured."
"Luca?" Dylan's words took on the quality of one speaking through scuba diving gear into a faulty transducer. "Brenda? You can't have - it's not possib - surely he wouldn't - not when you're this far alo - tell me you didn't - not that you have to explain yourself, or that it's any of my business what you do with - but still, just - Bren? Brenda!"
Brenda didn't know anything more until Donna woke Brenda to see if she would prefer to receive her breakfast in bed.
And so Brenda's time of pampering continued, with her mobile once more stolen by Valerie who sat on the hotel bed and complained of her raging migraine.
"Hangover," Brenda corrected. "Ready to talk about it now?"
"Talk about what?" asked Val.
"Whatever's bothering you," said Brenda. "Whatever you're using the alcohol to block out so that you drink until you've blacked out."
Valerie avoided the question and shifted her focus to Donna.
"How was she last night?" asked Val.
"Fine," Donna smiled. "She was fine."
"I didn't scream?" asked Brenda.
"If you did, I didn't hear it," said Donna.
"You would have heard it," said Val.
Brenda was so pleased to hear the news, she threw her arms around Donna.
At first surprised, Donna warmly returned Brenda's embrace.
"I knew you could do it, Bren," said Donna.
"It's only step one of five million, Don."
"And you'll conquer all five million. You're Brenda Walsh. It's what you do."
Whether Brenda had tapered her screams on her own or Dylan had quieted them with his steady breaths over what was quickly becoming Brenda's favorite device, she couldn't be sure.
What she did know was this time on the train, Dylan had offered one hand to Brenda whilst his free hand sought to swipe a lacy garter away from Luca.
But what that meant, Brenda didn't even try to guess.
-x
New Bren video up at WISHUPONADREAM91 on YT and WISHUPONAMILLIONDREAMS on Insta.
Walking the fine line between demonising alcohol and simply pointing out how both Dylan and Val chose to constantly abuse it, ha.
Sources: Google, the websites for Cafe Mom, Harley Therapy, My Health Alberta, PNSG, Tommy's, What to Expect.
(Shout-out to KJ to express my continued gratitude and appreciation. Val is such a fascinating character to explore and to try to figure out her mindset. She dealt with so much shit the writers preferred to throw at her, then not do anything with [ie: Josh drugging her/Noah's consequent drug r*pe. We're supposed to just accept Val and Noah as close after that, and I will never not wonder what the hell those writers were thinking. It's also completely unfair to David [and Kelly] to be the only ones who knew Val's secret. With how close Val was with Brandon, and how Brandon grew up with Val's family, it would have been an interesting watch to see Brandon find out. It would have immensely changed his view on the Josh-Noah situation, I'm sure.)
Thanks a million! x