The next 9 rules are courtesy of Falkeno. If you haven't read his magnificent Belfast snips then do so. You can find them on his profile page.
Rule 8117. Never ask Belfast about her mining incident or request to see the resulting scars.
Belfast sighed as she looked out at the peaceful waters of Scapa Flow, no Vanguard blowing stuff up, no destroyers causing mayhem, for once it was a peaceful day.
"Ahem", came a voice from behind which jolted Belfast back to the present, turning she saw the carrier Courageous standing behind her, holding a rather large book.
"What can I do for you Courageous?" Belfast asked, trying to hide the fact that Courageous was spoiling the moment, peaceful days were a rarity.
"Well, I was wondering about something, you know how we felt the pain from damage inflicted on us when we were ships?" Courageous replied, pausing to let Belfast respond, Belfast meanwhile was presuming that Courageous was going to ask her about one of her sister's many injuries, and was preparing an appropriate response regarding whoever Courageous was going to ask her about but gave a nod of agreement. "Well I was just doing some reading and I was wondering how you felt when your back got brok-" Courageous continued, only to be suddenly stopped by Belfast's fist impacting her face at high speed, which propelled the nearly 20,000-ton carrier in an impressive arc until she landed in an ungraceful heap a good 30 meters away, stone cold unconscious.
"Fucking Bitch!" Belfast snarled, her voice slipping back into her Belfastian accent, as she stalked off back to her room, she needed a drink.
"Hey, Belfast quick request for you?" Asked Royal Oak, staring at the notoriously aloof cruiser.
"What?" Belfast queried tiredly, having just gotten back from escorting another Arctic convoy, Belfast just wanted to get to her room and sleep off the exhaustion caused by the cold, stress and days of work associated with said convoy route, but the visiting Revenge class was blocking her way, so she was hoping this would be quick.
"Well, Warspite showed me some of her scars when she was last here and I heard about what happened to you, so I was just wondering if I could see your back because you should have an impressive one since you broke your ba-" Royal Oak explained only to be interrupted by Belfast's hand clamping itself around her neck, and despite weighing a lot more than the cruiser, being lifted into the air.
"What did you just say?!" Belfast growled, any tiredness in her voice gone, and as Royal Oak alarmingly noticed her eyes had darkened to a murderous grey.
"Eep" Was all Royal Oak could offer, the lack of airflow wasn't helping.
"That's what I thought you said" Belfast snarled as she carried the terrified Battleship to a nearby workshop, she needed to let off some steam.
Admiral Collingwood looked at the unconscious form of Courageous, a massive and rather painful looking bruise covering her face, before turning his gaze to the Bandaged and thankfully comatose form of Royal Oak, reminding himself to have logistics order more sedatives, he knew exactly who was responsible, from the book found near Courageous and the ramblings of a clearly traumatised Royal Oak before the sedatives had taken hold, that was in no doubt, and in his opinion the pair of them deserved it under the circumstances, but atleast there were very few ships who didn't know about Belfast's incident and after what had happened, they wouldn't be stupid enough to ask, in this situation there was only one thing to do.
"Georgie, I think its time for another entry on the list" He sighed turning to the battleship standing next to him, who nodded in agreement, she wasn't stupid either, "And then I need a drink, when Graham hears about Oak he's going to tear me a new one" he added, again another nod.
Rule 8117a. And don't go asking any of her sisters, they're not as bad as Belfast, but not by much.
Admiral Hartmann looked at the tared and feathered form of Königsberg, lying trussed up, gagged and giving him the biggest eyes possible, then at the cruisers Birmingham, Newcastle and Gloucester, the former pair holding near empty sacks of feathers, the latter an empty can of tar, before letting out a large sigh.
"Let me guess, Belfast?" He asked, receiving nods from the three Towns, Hartmann quickly processed this information and gave a fitting response "Eh, could have been worse" he shrugged, which received him a surprised look from Königsberg, "But you three are on a warning, and get her cleaned up" He added pointing to the shocked form of Königsberg, before turning on his heel and headed back to his office, he needed to make amendment the list.