Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican
7472: At this time of year, if you decide to 'experiment' with food of any sort, keep it in a well-marked container or in a separate and clearly marked storage area. We don't want any more incidents.
Duncan set the foil-wrapped turkey down on the countertop. Scores of the things had been sent to the ship girls, some from state governments, some from cities and towns, but most of them came from regular people. While most of them ended up being donated, there were always enough to go around. In a little bit, Okie would drop by to help finish up before they took everything to the main event-
The foil moved. Then it moved again.
Duncan stared at the rustling foil. He walked over and pulled it away from the resting bird. At first, it looked normal, then the stump of the neck twisted around. There was a face, with bared teeth, a long beard, and a pair of eye stalks. It looked Duncan dead in the eyes, then it opened its mouth and screamed. Duncan froze for a second, then grabbed a knife, threw it at the turkey-creature, and bolted from the kitchen. Not knowing how to throw knives, and a kitchen knife not being suited for throwing in the first place, it did absolutely nothing to harm the thing.
It jumped up, raised its arms in the air, and bellowed again before giving chase.
Just ahead of the terrifyingly fast turkey, Duncan made it to the closest room with a locking door, which happened to be a bathroom. He slammed the door shut and stepped back. Still bellowing, the turkey threw itself against the door and started banging away at it with its arms. In a matter of seconds, the hollow-core door started to give way.
Then a car door slammed out front. Duncan heard the banging stop, then the odd thumps of the creature's legs as it walked to the front door. A few moments later he heard the turkey start up its scream again, then it was cut off. He opened the door and peered out of the bathroom. Oklahoma was standing in the door with a disgusted look on her face, and the turkey, or what was left of it, was smeared over her boot and against the far wall.
The two locked eyes, "What the hell was that?"
"I have no idea… Where did you get that turkey from anyway?"
"It was just one of the ones in the freezer, we all keep the turkeys that we get in there. Someone would have had to messed with- hold on a minute."
Elsewhere, South Dakota dug through the battleship dorm deep freezer in a panic. Her experiment was gone! Why the hell hadn't she just made enough space in the lab freezer?! Who knew what the thing could do out in the wild?
She stopped as her phone started to ring. Growling, she dug it from a pocket and answered it. "What do you want?"
A chill ran down her spine as she heard Oklahoma ask, "Did you do anything weird to a turkey lately?"
"Perhaps?"
"Well it's dead, and you owe Duncan a new wall." Then she hung up. South Dakota sighed and looked down at the freezer full of turkeys,
"Well, there are plenty more where number four came from..."