Garfield League of America 3 Episode Ten - To Rescue Supergirl! Odyssey Into Darkness!
In another Earth in another Universe in the infinite Multiverse, the moody broody teenager nicknamed Batman had just gotten home from the big party at Swamp Thing's place and he was alone in his room sitting on his bed in the dark recording himself on his Batcameras.
Batman was in low spirits because he had proposed to his longtime girlfriend Catwoman at the party and instead of embracing the joyous stability and finality of monogamy she had laughed in his face and gone off to to a plastered threesome with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn and he wasn't invited, not even to come in and watch and pleasure himself to their pleasure.
Also he had just seen Green Arrow get his brains beat out by a can of Campbells soup for selling someone bad drugs and that had messed him up all kinds of fierce. The half-pound of weed he'd smoked beforehand had not helped matters. Who kills someone like that? Just use a hammer like a normal barbaric homicidal being.
"I swear I've never been so depressed and miserable and lonely in my entire life. Is there no person in this horrible and huge empty universe to hold me and tell me the world will be ok?" Said Batman with commiseration.
"Master Bruce you better not be inappropriately fondling yourself to pleasure before bedtime again!" Said Alfred as he quite abruptly rapped on the door. "Master Bruce you know the rules about locked doors in this household!"
"Shut up Alfred you're not my MOM!" Batman said with snapping back and then he resumed his monologuing. "I'm only eighteen years old and I'm totally doomed."
"Come on Bruce don't be such a Debbie Downer! Let's get that frown rightside up!" Said a calming reassuring voice. As Batman looked in surprise bright light filled his room and suddenly before his eyes materialized a teenage Midwestern corn-fed hunk.
It was Clark Kent, that mysterious yet jawdroppingly handsome lad nicknamed Superman that Batman kept seeing around town lately. Batman had lost track of Superman earlier than night when he was tripping out of his mind on drugs but now he was back.
"Clark when were you?" Batman asked as Superman sat on the bed next to him.
"Oh I was kidnapped by Martian Manhunter. He took me into a spaceship where Alien Reptoids did many tests with probing on me. Afterwards they let me go and I feel fine." Said Superman with explanations.
"Wow those aliens I've been seeing around town all day are actually real." Said Batman with a blown mind. "Hey I have a confession I need to make."
"How intriguing." Said Superman with attentiveness. "What is it you must confess?"
"Clark I've been thinking about this crazy day and everything that's happened. And I've also been thinking about you. Are you as bi-curious as I am? I have been searching for The One to liberate me from this polyamorous purgatory and I think the Search Is Over." Said Batman with revelation of homosexual urges. "Let's leave heterosexuality behind."
"Oh Bruce you moody Adonis, it's like you can read my mind!" Superman chirped. "Before we can continue on this path, I think we must commit to this journey without our clothes."
"You are right. They will only get in the way of truly knowing each other." Batman said as he and Superman took off their clothes and got under the sheets and close to each other like ice cream sandwiches. Batman tenderly put his moist lips upon Superman's smooth skin.
But before Batman could roll Superman over and make him his catamite in an act of loving sodomy Superman coughed with hacking and wheezing.
"Clark? What is it? Tell me what's wrong! CLAAAAAAAAARK." Batman begged with concerns as Superman started convulsing all over and then he exploded covering Batman and his entire room with blood.
In Superman's place on the bloodstained sheets was a giant Kryptonian Space Cockroach writhing around on its back just like Gregor Kafka. The Kryptonian Space Cockroach righted itself and looked at Batman.
"A crisis is coming." Said The Kryptonian Space Cockroach. "I'm outta here." Then it skittered to the window and crawled out.
Sad alternative rock music singing of love and death began playing as Batman could only stare in horror and shock covered in the blood of his true love. Then with the force of a twister, the roof was ripped off and Batman could see that the skies were red - the number one sign of a crisis arriving on Earth.
In a flash of lightning, Batman saw burning impossibly in the skies a symbol made of hellfire and the symbol was
Ω
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO." Batman cried as he realized what the symbol meant before he along with his entire Earth was wiped from existence by Anti-Life.
This was just one of many scenes of stories turned tragedy and cut short playing out across an infinite number of multiple Earths in the Multiverse, which had been rendered unstable by the abuses heaped upon the timeline by the rogue miscreant once known as the hero The Flash. His mind warped by his own insecurities and delusions The Flash had metamorphosed into the ultimate villain, The Dark Flash.
And at the end of time, one man stood heroically as the last light against the oncoming tsunami of darkness:
Garfield.
Garfield in his powered up form of Kamen Rider Lasagna Sun and the Dark Flash were fighting from dying Earth to dying Earth as the walls of the Multiverse broke down and all Earths were being thrown together like ingredients in a bowl of bibambap.
"WHEN YOU'RE DEAD GARFIELD EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER!" The Dark Flash raved with lunacy as he sprouted spikes on his arms and fired them at Garfield, who dodged them with stylish leaps and flips. "It will be A WORLD OF FLASH! ETERNAL MILLER TIME!"
"I'm afraid you have badly failed maths class if you think a few seconds equates to eternity." Said Garfield with unfazed fearlessness as he winded up a punch and hit Dark Flash square in the chest sending him flying back several Earths in meters.
"RAAAAAAGH EAT DARKNESS BOLT!" Dark Flash cupped his palms together and began rubbing until he formed a cackling ball of dark static electricity. Laughing with maniacal glee Dark Flash hurled darkness bolts directly at Garfield. "Ha ha ha Garfield can you dodge this?"
"Ask yourself that question!" Garfield said with throw backs as he parried the darkness bolts right back at the Dark Flash.
"AAAAAGHA I AM BLINDED!" Dark Flash said with pain as the Darkness Bolts got him in the eyes with popping. "But no matter! I have time on my side!"
Dark Flash ran backwards in time to reverse his injury restoring his eyes. "Ha ha ha Garfield how can you hope to outrun time itself?"
"Looks like time just ran out!" Said Garfield as he readied himself and then proceeded to use the power of the Lasagna Sun to run super-fast even faster than The Dark Flash, in the opposite direction. This has the effect of re-reversing time restoring the Dark Flash's injuries. The Dark Flash was stunned by this turn of events and uselessly groped at his once-agin bloody eye sockets. Garfield took the opportunity to then shoot out Dark Flash's knees with his Desert Eagle, preventing him from running back in time to create an endless cycle.
"GARFIELD HOW CAN YOU REVERSE MY REVERSING OF TIME? THAT IS NOT FAIR!" Moaned Dark Flash with blubbering babbling.
"Fairness is what losers always cry about when they lose. But Winners are too busy going home to have sexual relations with the Prom Queen." Said Garfield with truths. "You have spent too much of your life dreaming beyond your station. Now I will wake you up with loudest Alarm Clock Possible."
Dark Flash could not get away as Garfield grabbed him and attached lots of explosives on him.
"NO BIG ZASZ SAVE ME!" Dark Flash cried out in vain to his Dark God of the Speed Force but his prayers fell on deaf ears as the explosives went off breaking Dark Flash into bloody pieces that flew everywhere. Despite this, the still living upper half of Dark Flash tried to claw his way forward using the one arm ending in a bloody mess that was still on his body. "Please just grant me an iota of your omega power more to vanquish Garfield!"
"NO, BARRY ALLEN. YOU HAVE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME." Boomed the disembodied voice of The Big Zasz suddenly. It was a voice of pure, ancient Evil that raised goosebumps and froze the blood of all who herd. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A PERFECT HERALD TO SPREAD MY GOSPEL THROUGHOUT THE COSMOS BUT YOU WERE REALLY A WHOLE LOADA TALK WITH NOTHING TO SHOW IN THE SACK. I GUESS WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE, IF YOU WANT IT DONE RIGHT YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF."
Then Omega Beams flew in from out of nowhere hitting the Dark Flash and dematerializing him leaving behind only his Flash Ring. Garfield turned around to see a Boom Tube opening behind him. Emerging from the Boom Tube was none other than a bespectacled Businessman CEO in a Sweater Vest! Cackling The Big Zasz added Barry Allen's name to a list of write-offs for existential taxes before callously stepping on the Flash Ring with crushing.
"So you are The Big Zasz. The Architect of all this madness. Well I am tropical storm of fists and fury ready to tear your flimsy shack to nothingness." Garfield said as he ran towards The Big Zasz and leap t high into the air to do a Rider Kick into The Big Zasz. There was a big atomic explosion and when the smoke cleared Garfield expected to see the Evil Vanquished but to his shock The Big Zasz stood unharmed and unamused.
Somewhat confused, Garfield activated Rider Vision and gazed upon The Big Zasz. Garfield was taken aback to see that the aura emanating from The Big Zasz was not the usual dew of evil that CEOs sweated but instead it was something darker.
"I see you have seen the truth. So now Gaze upon my true form, Garfield. You see, I am many things. The embodiment of all evil and despair, the Eternal Apocalypse come to raze Genesis. But above all…" Said The Big Zasz as he unzipped his skin suit to reveal that he was in fact DARKSEID. "DARKSEID IS."
"Darkseid! I should've seen that you were the one really behind this! No way was Barry Allen The Flash cunning enough to pull shenanigans of this magnitude off!" Said Garfield with recognition of his enemy.
"Is it truly so surprising, Garfield? Who better to serve as the mindless embodiment of Anti-Life than the Speedster who rushes through life at maximum speed in a blur? Infiltrating the Speed Force and corrupting The Flash's already feeble mind was easy-peasy. For once I thought I could take over all of existence and not have to clean my own hands later. You know, I may be evil but I also appreciate proper hygiene." Said Darkseid with a sigh. "But at least it shall be your blood I scrape from my fingernails. Now Garfield tremble before the inevitability of Darkseid."
"The only trembling will be of your lapdogs on Apokolips when they receive your corpse in mailbox." Said Garfield with power as he charged up his power like the lightning-struck gazelle and charged towards Darkseid.
"Hmph. Futilities, Garfield!, futilities!" Darksaid said as he pounded his fists together, before firing his Omega Beams at Garfield.
Garfield dodged the Omega Beams and kept running at Darkseid, only for the deadly red lasers to zig and zag impossibly until they caught up with Garfield and hit him.
"Oooofmf." Garfield said with abruptness as the impact of the Omega Beams blasted him out of his form of Kamen Rider Lasagna Sun returning him to his Regular Superpowered Self. Garfield went tumbling and skidded to a stop at Darkseid's feet. Before Garfield could get to his feet and transform again into Kamen Rider Lasagna Sun, Darkseid picked him up by his neck.
Like a claw grabber machine snatching the prize Darkseid plucked Garfield's Rider Belt off of him. And without hesitation, Darkseid crushed it. Darkseid then threw Garfield into the ground making craters and sprinkled the remains over him like pepper flakes on pizza. "Did you think this little plastic toy with shiny lights was enough to stop me?"
"Actually, the power of the Lasagna Sun was for your sake more than mine." Said Garfield with a contemptuous chuckle. "You were gonna die painful before…"
Garfield came back with a sucker punch from hell that knocked Darkseid back. "But now you're gonna die old school and die super painful."
"ACCURSED BRAGGART! JUST ACCEPT YOUR END!" Darkseid roared with rage and he and Garfield chargerd at each other for the final fight.
Author's Note: But before we can get to that, there are other plot threads we can wrap up.
Meanwhile, back in the remnants of The Flash's Evil Castle, at least what hadn't been torn apart by fighting in the last chapter and the subsequent storm of collapsing multiverse, The Army of Darkness that belonged to Garfield's resurrected old foe Odie found The Flash's Pleasure Chamber.
"Well, well, whadda we got here?" Asked Chucky the Evil Killer Doll as he laid his eyes upon chained and scantily dressed maidens of all colors and sizes moaning illegibly in a drug-induced delirium. "An All You Can Eat Buffet just like Vegas!"
"The adults eat first, small stuff!" Said Freddy Krueger with rudeness as he shoved Chucky aside and deviously sharpened his claws. He sniffed the ear. "Awwwww no virgins… but the next best thing: a whole buncha whoooo-oooooaaars!"
Everyone cheered, except for Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees who brandished their weapons with silent excitement.
"I don't know why we're so hung up on virgins, man." Said one of the two Ghostfaces to his fellow ghost-faced Companion with awareness of slasher conventions. "9 Outta 10 they're the ones who are always foiling our evil schemes and sendin' us back to Hell!"
"Sure, the virgin's the deadliest threat to a masked maniac, but if you can get 'em before they get you… Heavy risk, but the prizzzzze." Said the Other Ghostface with smacking lips.
And so, as the theme from Cannibal Holocaust began to play, the Army of Darkness set upon their hapless victims, doing what movie monsters do best - slicing and dicing until there was nothing but a whole lotta red (at least if the MPAA, the other greatest threat to movie monsters, doesn't get snippy with the scissors)
"Hey, what's that over there?" Chucky pointed out in the middle of the slaughter. Everyone stopped their current kill and looked to the center of the pleasure chamber where tied up and doped outta her mind on Kryptonian Opium was none other than Supergirl. Supergirl had been whipped badly and she was bruised over. To add to her humiliation, she had been fitted with a blonde wig and was now dressed in a new Supergirl costume that had a skimpy top that bared her mid-riff and a skirt so short it ensured panty shots need not be imagined.
"I say we just found The Flash's Golden Goose… let's see if she's got any eggs." Said Freddy Krueger with dark intensions.
"Hey, I'm the one who found her! I get first dibs!" Protested Chucky as he tugged at Freddy's legs.
"Aw shaddup, half-pint!" Freddy Krueger said with annoyance as he punted Chucky away. "Now where was I?" Said Freddy Krueger as he slashed at Supergirl but even doped to her gills Supergirl's Kryptonian Skin made her immune to convention slashing. Sighing Freddy Krueger concentrated to enter Supergirl's dreams to kill her extra-fancy but to his disappointment she had been so thoroughly drugged it had made her mind entirely blank - no dreams, no entry. "Aw shoot! Can anything penetrate this Bitch of Steel?"
At that query, there was incoherent grunting and the sound of a chainsaw revving up. Everyone looked to see Leatherface twirling around in a circle haphazardly waving his chainsaw around in the air.
"Fine, might as well let Rainman take a shot!" Said Freddy Krueger with grumbling as he crossed his arms like a toddler having a fit and stepped back.
Leatherface powered down his chainsaw and lumbered up to Supergirl. With curiosity like prodding a dead dog with a stick, Leatherface lifted up Supergirl's skirt and dryly poked Supergirl in the privates with his chainsaw for subtle symbolism. At the same time, Chucky was crawling on his belly with his knife between his teeth towards Supergirl. Chucky grumbled angsty thoughts. "Treat me like I'm nothin' just cause I'm literally a fricking toy? I'll show you I can rip and tear just like the rest of you!"
"C'mon, quit playin with your food!" Freddy Krueger snapped with impatience. Hearing this, Leatherface screamed and raised his chainsaw bringing it to roaring life. At that moment, as Leatherface was bringing down his chainsaw towards Supergirl, Chucky was about to reach Supergirl himself and he took the knife out of his mouth and into his hands.
Suddenly there was the sound of a Sonic Boom and a force descended from the heavens that landed on and unknowingly crushed Chucky like one tramples upon a single ant in a field. Leatherface shrieked in shock as his chainsaw caught on something that got between it and Supergirl. And to his disbelief, the chainsaw for once was not cutting!
Then the the smoke cleared and familiar theme music kicked in. Everyone's jaws dropped in horror as they saw standing between Leatherface and Supergirl was Superman! Superman was back from the depths of lost time, now clad in an all-black suit.
"Not impressed." Superman said to Leatherface as Leatherface futilely tried to cut him with his chainsaw. Superman then drew in air and unleashed it as mighty freeze breath upon Leatherface's chainsaw. Leatherface was not able to let go in time and the Freeze Breath froze his arms all the way to the shoulders.
"Give peace a chance, my man." Said Superman with a flick of his finger that shattered Leatherface's chainsaw and both his arms. Leatherface fell down and started writhing and screaming like an earthworm on sizzling asphalt.
Seeing that it was Superman for reals, the remaining slasher miscreants began scurrying about in a panic.
"Superman! Oh no we got no chance now! Stu, it's time for Plan B!" Said one of the Ghostfaces with alarm.
"You got it, Billy! Oh, if only we had taken the chance to explore each other as platonic bonded men one last time!" Said the other Ghostface with regrets as they held hands then stabbed each other to death in suicide to escape Superman's wrath. The two Ghostfaces fell over on top of each other in an embarrassing position full of innuendo.s
"Hey Superman, didn't The Flash freaking erase you from existence?" Said Freddy Krueger with accusatory finger.
"Bro, I'm Superman! You think erasing me from existence is enough to stop me? Your brain get burnt worse than your face, bro?" Said Superman like it was obvious.
The theme from Halloween kicked in as Michael Myers tried to get Superman from behind with a backstab like an enemy spy. The knife crumpled like a baguette in a blizzard. Superman spun around and punched Michael Myers in the face, knocking him down and cutting the music off. Superman turned his back on Michael Myers, and as if on cue the music kicked back in and Michael Myers rose again knife in hand. Superman spun around again and punched Michael Myers to the ground again. This cycle repeated itself for a long time until finally in frustration Freddy Krueger grabbed a shotgun and blasted Michael Myer' in the chest creating great burst of blood that left behind gaping wound.
"Enough is enough! Quit embarrassing yourself you washed up has-been! HALLOWEEN ENDS!" Freddy Krueger ranted as A sad and slow female pop cover of Love Hurts started playing as Freddy Krueger kept pumping Michael Myers full of holes until fell over and died.
"No loyalty amongst monsters, eh?" Superman said dryly as Freddy Krueger tossed the shotgun aside.
"Eh, he was an old dog all outta tricks and long past his bedtime anyhow! Jason, it's time to Uber Out!" Freddy Krueger Ordered to Jason Voorhees, who nodded and stabbed himself in his own zombie heart with his machete. Jason Voorhees twisted his machete like turning a dial and hidden nanomachines flowed from the tip of his machete into his bloodstream assimilating it. Within seconds Jason Voorhees' muscles were expanding and his body became covered in cybernetic armor as his mask shapeshifted into a new futuristic design.
Jason Voorhees silently and menacingly stood transformed into Uber Jason!
"Ha ha ha Superman we ain't scared of you I think you've just met your match!" Said Freddy Krueger with cackling as Uber Jason advanced upon Superman with menace.
Uber Jason lifted his cyber-machete and swung at Superman who weaved in and out of Uber Jason's reach with superspeed ease. Superman tauntingly mocked Uber Jason by putting his hands behind with head and flying backwards with legs crossed like sunbather by the pool.
"Okay, playtime's over. I'm sending you back to the metal shop. In time for the graveyard shift discount!" Superman quipped as he punched Uber Jason with such super strength Uber Jason suddenly shut down like blue-screen on a Windows.
"GRRRRR! Fine I'll do it myself! BEHOLD MY POWER!" Said Freddy Krueger as he took out a pouch of dream sand that he stole from Morpheus the Sandman and threw the sand into Superman's face.
"Gaahhh!" Superman stumbled and collapsed into a sleeping state.
Freddy Krueger laughed triumphantly and sharpened his claws. "Ha ha ha Superman sweet dreams! But I know better than anyone just how easily even the sweetest of dreams… CAN BECOME NIGHTMARE!"
Freddy Krueger then entered Superman's dreams where he would be at his most powerful to kill the Man of Steel. And he wasn't just regular old Freddy coming to get Supes, oh no he was
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's SUPER FREDDY!" Freddy Krueger proclaimed as he emerged from the furnace in a dilapidated boiler room. Freddy Krueger then ripped open his shirt and morphed into a new form using dream powers to give himself extra muscles, a black cape of menace, and a big black lightning bolt on his shirt. And the entire world was in black and white to reflect the darkness and demons that had replaced his soul. Freddy Krueger dragged his claws among the walls to make sparks with evil glee.
"Superman, come out and play with me. Oh, how the bed bugs will bite." Freddy Krueger smacked his lips. In the background, little blonde girls in white dresses jumped rope in slow motion as they followed behind Freddy Krueger like his entourage and chanted nursery rhymes.
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you…"
In a montage set to Running from this Nightmare by Tuesday Knight as heard in the opening credits of Nightmare on Elm Street 4 - The Dream Master, Freddy Krueger prowled through the dreamscape in search of the dreaming prey. All throughout Superman's dream, Freddy Krueger found dreamscape manifestations of people Superman appeared to know like Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Lex Luthor, Krypto the Superdog, even the Batman fleeing from him in fear. There was even two hick farmers, whatever relevance they had to Superman Freddy Krueger did not know or care to learn. But for some reason, that annoying nerd reporter Clark Kent who was always writing stories about Superman was not present.
"Ha ha ha, after I kill Superman, I oughta find Clark Kent's dream and tell him that what Superman thinks of his biggest sycophant is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" Said Freddy Krueger with presumptions, whilst he grabbed Lex Luthor by the collar. Freddy Krueger then carving a deep cut into Lex Luthor's bald head that would make his head embarrassingly phallic in aesthetic.
"Three, four, better lock your door…"
Unable to control himself like a bulimic at the buffet, Freddy Krueger got himself gorging on appetizers before the main course was anywhere close to ready. Freddy Krueger slashed, sliced, and diced his way through Superman's friends and family splattering the black and white world with red all over.
"Five, six, grab a crucifix…"
But the satisfaction Freddy Krueger got from slaying these cognitive incarnations was as fleeting and meaningless as temp work. As painfully and gruesomely as they died, they were but a dream. And reality could come crashing down at any minute.
"Seven, eight, gonna stay up late…"
"C'mon, c'mon, where the double choco chunk fudge is Superman? Waiting for Superman sucks and I'm bored!" Freddy Krueger stomped his feet on Bibbo Bibbowski's mutilated corpse with tantrum impatience. "It never takes me this long to find the freaking dreamer!"
"Nine, ten, never sleep again.."
"OH SHUT UP! That shit's was old by the third one!" Freddy Krueger howled taking his frustrations out on his ghostly little cheerleaders. They whimpered in tears and ran away as Freddy Krueger futilely slashed the air in their general direction.
Freddy Krueger stormed around looking for Superman. But then he noticed something alarming. In the distance, there was a door slightly ajar. And behind it Freddy Krueger could glimpse light. And bathed in that light, colors that wasn't blood. Freddy Krueger grumbled. "Hey, I thought I said there was to be even less vibrancy on this set than a Streaming Original!"
Freddy Krueger went up to the door and kicked it open. It led to an ominous room with flowing billowy red curtains hung wall to wall and relaxing lounge music played from a vinyl. In the center of the room there was a chair in front of a round table.
"Ugh this is some lurid reading material. Where's the CCA when ya actually need 'em?" Freddy Krueger retched as he went over to the table and saw laid out on top of it a stack of comic books. At the top of the pile was none other than a copy of Superman in Action Comics #6669.
"Whadda revoltin' development! They let anyone write and draw this happy crappy nowadays! The King must be rollin' in his grave!" Said Freddy Krueger with critique as he examined the cover, which was of "SUPERMAN KICKIN' MY TUSH?" Freddy Krueger exclaimed with revolted shock as he laid his eyes upon Superman doing a Full Nelson on him. "As if!"
Freddy Krueger, against better judgment, took a seat and started flipping through the comic. His eyes widened as he saw reflected in the art and the speech bubbles everything that had been happening down to the letter. Suddenly Freddy Krueger felt great dread as he got closer to the final pages, about to turn a page into unknown territory.
"No, I refuse to read anymore! Comic books are artless brain rot anyways!" Said Freddy Krueger as he angrily threw the comic into the air and slashed it into shreds. But to his horror, the comic book mysteriously reformed into perfect mint condition and flew back into his hands. And on its own, the comic book finished reading itself and showed Freddy Krueger the full breadth of the fate that awaited him.
And then the music suddenly changed to Dream Warriors by Dokken and the walls and roof were blown off as if hit by the Big Bad Wolf. Freddy Krueger found himself face to face with Superman.
"I wonder if you know who is dreaming who, pizza face." Said Superman with vague ambiguities.
"Superman, how are you doing this? No Matter! I am the Master of Dreams! My Power should be unstoppable! DIEEEEEEE" Freddy Krueger stabbed at Superman with his claws but unexpectedly they all shattered upon contact with the S on the Man of Steel's chest. Then Freddy Krueger looked down and he became agape as he saw his Super Freddy body losing its bulk like water in a cracked toilet. Superman's mere presence was stripping him of his Super Freddy powers, and not only that, seizing control of the entire dreamscape!
"Nooooooo, this is a nightmare!" Freddy Krueger fell to his knees and screamed as the hellish plains of nightmare Freddy Krueger had raised was suddenly razed and in its place sprouted many fluffy puppies and kittens dancing on rainbows above waterfalls of chocolate running down mountains of ice cream.
"You may be a master of whatever, but I am Superman. Even my dreams are super!" Said Superman with firmness.
Freddy Krueger screams and screamed as the ground beneath him gave away and he fell until he landed plop on the palm of a giant hand. It was Superman! Superman was now giant-sized in the dream.
"Now, begone foul spirit of the night!" Said Superman as he readied to crush Freddy Krueger with squeezing.
"Wait Superman don't kill me! That is not what you do!" Said Freddy Krueger with morals.
"It doesn't count if its just a dream." Superman smirked and LIke Freddy Krueger was a business card, Superman crushed him. Then Freddy Krueger awoke screaming to find Superman standing over him triumphantly.
"Uh… have mercy?" Freddy Krueger begged with teary eyes.
"You bad guys should know by now that I don't kill (at least not after that one time) But it isn't me you should be asking that question to." Superman said with a wink. Then with Super Speed Superman bound and gagged Freddy Krueger with duct tape and shoved him into a sleeping bag and zipped it up.
Right on cue, there was the sound of systems rebooting as Uber Jason stirred back to life. Uber Jason stared at Superman with murderous eyes.
"Hey Jason, look what I found! This bag has your favorite - a teenage camp counselor who loves to smoke pot and have premarital sex! How about you let off some steam and catch up with me later?" Said Superman with enticing offer.
Like a command had been entered, Uber Jason instantly shifted priorities and he grabbed the sleeping bag that contained Freddy Krueger from Superman. Freddy Krueger, bound and gagged, had no chance of revealing his true identity.
Uber Jason began swinging and slamming the sleeping bag into everything (including Leatherface who was still alive) so hard that what destabilized foundations remained of The Flash's Evil Castle were utterly destroyed. The Flash's Evil Castle broke apart and Uber Jason fell forever silently into the endless void, still swinging the sleeping bag about. With that taken care of Superman caught the unconscious Supergirl as she fell and flew to safety - well, whatever could constitute as safe in a collapsing multiverse.
"Cousin Kal-El? I stat you?" Supergirl mumbled in recognition as she finally stirred awake, the drugs The Flash had pumped her with wearing off.
"Yes it is me and we have finally meet." Said Superman with heartwarming family reunion. "But I am afeard that we have no time to celebrate, for I hear none other than Darkseid doing battle with Garfield in the distance. So come, let us fly to aid Garfield in saving the universe!"
Superman and Supergirl flew in the general direction of Garfield and Darkseid's Great Battle, hoping that they would not be too late to aid their friend.
Back over where Darkseid and Garfield was doing battle, the Dark Conqueror was finding that even without the powers of the Kamen Rider Garfield was a force to be reckoned with.
Darkseid swung at Garfield with powerful fists with might of Hell Gorilla but Garfield did many super flashy somersaults and cartwheels to dodge them. Garfield then did a cool backflip into a kick that caught Darkseid square on the jaw and launched him into the air.
"Darkseid, we should make bets on what I will break first - a sweat or you!" Said Garfield with betting as he flawlessly in midair executed the 20 Exploding Fists of Partisan Parmesan technique upon Darkseid that left him bruised and dented.
"Hrrrrgh! Enough of this tomfoolery, tomcat! I have humored your vainglorious ego long enough, and now your delusions of triumph disintegrate!" Darkseid proclaimed as his eyes burned with rage.
Darkseid swelled like a balloon growing even taller than the Empire State Building. Holding dying Earths of the Multiverse like they were marbles, Darkseid infused them with pure Anti-Life and pelted Garfield with corrupted infinite Earths like dodge-balls destroying them and all their inhabitants as they came into contact with Garfield's meteor-like bod.
"You monster! Do these lives mean nothing to you?" Garfield roared with indignations as he stood up covered in the dust of dead worlds and despite his wounds he ran at Darkseid with his fists ready.
"Yes." Was all Darkseid said when he answered. And then he grabbed Garfield and whispered into his ear. What was said remained known only to Darkseid and Garfield but whatever it was it was potent enough to send coursing through Garfield the sensation of two things he had long forgotten until now.
Fear and Pain.
"Arrrrgh!" Said Garfield as Darkseid dropped him and laughed as the pain and fear convulsed throughout him. Despite this, Garfield tried to stand. Garfield was bewildered, for he had fought and destroyed Darkseid countless times in the past but he had never been this powerful before! "No, I cannot give up. Not when the world needs me."
"Know that you never could've stopped me, Garfield. I only indulged your illusion for the sweetness of bringing you face to face with reality." Darkseid smirked as cracks in the shaky ground opened up all around them. Darkseid punted Garfield towards one of the widening chasms.
"Graaaagh! It's not over!" Garfield grunted as he managed to grab the edge and hold on for dear life. As Garfield looked down, he found himself gazing down an abyss of eternal oblivion and from within the abyss something akin to eternal darkness gazed back.
"Oh, I think it is. Your doom awaits you in a Dark Place." Said Darkseid as he blasted Garfield full-force with beams of anti-matter and anti-life creating cataclysmic explosive reactions. When the dust cleared, Darkseid floated in the empty void of space watching as Garfield fell and was taken by the darkness. "Soon, so too shall the rest of mankind join you."
"NOOOOOOO! GARFIELD!" Cried Supergirl with sorrowful despair as she and Superman arrived on the scene too late.
"Darkseid! You bloody bastard! You will pay!" Superman swore to avenge his friend as he and Supergirl flew at Darkseid.
"Kryptonians. Don't me me laugh. The House has Won and Security will escort you from premises." Said Darkseid as he snapped his fingers, and a dark space cloud that was an manifestation of Darkseid's evil will formed behind Superman and Supergirl.
"Oh shoot!" Superman said as he and Supergirl were sucked into a swirling galactic whirlpool of Pure Darkseid and disappeared just like Garfield to Dark Places unknown.
Darkseid looked at his handiwork and wiped his hands with satisfaction. All of Existence was now his and Darkseid began the work of reshaping it in his image. "Garfield, Batman, Superman - they're all gone. The Entire Multiverse and its meager survivors are now mine to do with as I please. No one can stop me now."
But unknown to Darkseid as he celebrated his seemingly eternal victory, cloaked in dark ninja magic and watching the scene was Odie. Odie looked on with disapproval. "Damn Darkseid, killing Garfield was to be my prize!"
But then Odie had a bright bulb of light evilly go off over his head and his eyes gleamed with wickedly. "With Garfield dead, there are no more heroes… until there are. Yes, oh yes, now everyone will finally love me."
As Odie flew off to slay Darkseid and seize control of the Multiverse for himself, an uncertain and ominous future lingered over everything. Was this to be the fate of the Worlds - one flavor of tyranny or the other? Or perhaps, against all odds, could there be a way to save Garfield from the Dark Place Darkseid had sent him so that he might return and liberate Mankind in its direst hour? These questions would soon have their answer.
To be concluded…