Thursday
It was a perfect Thursday morning and the fifteenth day of October.
Only Kim was not enjoying herself, not by a long shot – she was in labour! It had begun at five that morning. Cathy had rushed over to help, with Chloe as her assistant. Kim was desperate to be able to stop lugging around her child; the novelty had worn off after nine months of strange feelings and movements.
We all knew it was happening – Chloe had sent texts to everybody!
Cathy had confirmed that it was the real deal and that the baby would be expected to appear in the next few hours. Once at the hospital, Chloe had sent the details around by text message, not to mention regular updates, such as 'Cervix at 6cm'.
I really did not need the graphic detail, but Chloe seemed to be enjoying herself, even if Kim was not.
That morning
Safehouse D
"Either of you two know how to drive?"
"I do!" Selina answered. "Just not stick."
Bruce shook his head.
"Well, we can have some fun then," I grinned.
We were going to be using the same two Ford Focus POS cars that Chloe and Josh had learnt to drive in. They were still in good condition, so would be perfect for the days instruction.
"Okay, Cat – let's see what you can do..." I said encouragingly pointing at the silver Focus.
Selina ran forward and jumped in, seemingly excited at the prospect. As she had said, she could drive an automatic and took the car in a large figure eight around the pillars before returning to the start.
"Well done!" I said approvingly and Cat blushed. "Bruce?"
I sent Cat with Hailee over to see Alfred who was waiting in the black Focus to show Cat how to drive 'stick'. I climbed into the silver Focus on the passenger side, while Bruce got behind the wheel.
"Okay, Bruce – make sure the car is in 'Park' – that's with the lever fully forward and lined up with the 'P'. Foot on the brake – that's the big pedal on the left; the other one is the accelerator or gas. Turn the key..."
The engine rumbled to life and Bruce smiled, letting the key go.
"Keep your foot on the brake and press the button on the left of the gear lever with your thumb. Okay, pull it back three steps to the 'D', which means 'Drive'. 'R' is 'Reverse' and 'N' is Neutral."
Bruce did as instructed and the car dropped into gear.
"Ease off the brake very slowly – a bit faster than that – gently..."
We started to move forwards just as I heard some gears grinding on the other Focus and grimaced at the sound! The car moved forwards on its own accord, even without a foot on the accelerator. Bruce steered the car at barely five miles per hour, nudging the brakes as he manoeuvred around the pillars.
"Not bad, kid!"
I looked over at the other car and saw Cat grinning and Alfred covering his eyes with his hands.
..._...
At lunch, Cat and Bruce were full of things to talk about. They had both had great fun with the cars – Alfred on the other hand, had not!
"Women drivers!" He moaned.
I laughed.
"Women are good drivers..."
"How many vehicles have you wrecked, young lady, in just a few months? One Panigale Superbike, one Land Rover Discovery, or LR4 as you call them over here, one BMW 7-Series saloon... Should I go on?"
"Point taken!" I replied.
That afternoon
Safehouse D
"Okay, we've shown you how to fight, now you need to be able to escape," Mindy lectured. "You may have the Cops after you, which brings me to another point that I will make now...
"Both of you look at me so I can see you taking this in. Being a vigilante has rules, a fucking ton of them! Number 1: No innocents get hurt, period. Collateral damage is difficult to avoid, but a vigilante gains respect by protecting the innocent and fighting the criminals. Number 2: No uniforms get hurt. They will chase you, but you cannot use violence against them to escape. The odd bruise is not a problem, but no shooting. Sometimes, though, the Cops are bad; Gotham is a good example of that. Mind you, we have had our own fair share of bent Cops in Chicago and in New York...
"Remember that you have to act like a Hero, not like a Criminal or you will not get support from the City. Support is critical if you do not want to be hiding every damn second of the night. Darkness is our friend, but sometimes it is a lot easier to act in daylight, but the chances of getting caught are much higher. Vigilantes don't get a free pass..."
"You two had better remember all that, or we'll come knocking on your door!" Dave added seriously. "Or more likely smashing through your bedroom window..."
"We understand," I acknowledged after exchanging a scared look with Bruce.
..._...
"We have constructed here, a possible escape route," Mindy continued pointing at some wood-clad scaffolding that formed two separate platforms, one lower than the other. "Dave – care to explain?"
Dave grinned.
"This is a replica of an escape route used by Hit Girl, the first night that I met her. She had just wiped out some druggies in that building there," Dave said pointing at the taller structure. "I remember the words like yesterday, as I was green as they come..."
"Funny cunt!" Mindy laughed from atop the higher platform.
"As I went to use the front door, Hit Girl said, 'Hey, green asshole, you can't use the front door now'..."
There was a ripple of laughter from those present at my impression of the younger Hit Girl.
"I followed Hit Girl out the window and up the fire escape onto the roof. I asked her, 'Who are you'?"
"Me? I'm Hit Girl – and that is Big Daddy!" Mindy added wistfully. "I said 'Come on!' and ran towards the edge of the roof, like so..."
Mindy ran and jumped off the first platform, leaping over the gap and landing in a roll on the other platform.
"Come on!" Mindy yelled at me, just like all those years ago, and I ran after her, easily completing the leap that I had failed all those years before, rolling and coming up into a crouch beside her.
"Better!" Mindy said with a grin and a kiss.
"Now, while they make out up there, it's your turn!" Hailee said as we both fell to the platform together.
The Hospital
The pain was excruciating, at least I thought so the way Kim was sucking on the gas!
I could feel some the pain too, as Kim squeezed my left hand, but I did not want to say anything; I just grimaced with the pain!
"Marty, if you ever bring your cock anywhere near me again; I'm going to cut it off!" Kim growled as she fought through the next contraction. "Fucking asshole – this water melon is not gonna fit..."
The midwife laughed at my expression.
Over the next couple of hours or so, the contractions sped up and Kim was getting very high on the gas mixture. Her language was not improving though; quite a bit of it was aimed at me!
"Get this goddamn thing out of me..."
"It's on its way, Kim..."
"Not fucking fast enough... Bastard!"
Kim was crying now. I knew she was tired, very tired; she had been at it for hours. She was sweating all over and I was doing my best to keep her face and forehead clear.
"I..." I tried.
"I hate you right now!"
Safehouse D
Selina seemed better at the jumping than Bruce.
Not surprisingly, Bruce froze just as Kick-Ass had on that fateful night…
"I am not jumping down there; it's miles!" Bruce exclaimed.
"You've done it before..." Selina encouraged him.
"He has?" I asked incredulously.
"He jumped over a gap between two buildings, back in Gotham – shocked the hell out of me, I can tell you!" Selina explained as Bruce smiled, remembering.
"Just jump and land as we taught you on the mat; roll with the landing..." Hailee said calmly.
"Okay..." Bruce said, sounding anything but okay, as he turned for the very back of the platform.
Bruce sprinted towards the gap; he placed his left foot on the parapet and leapt into space.
The Hospital
Just ten minutes later, everything changed...
"Oh, fucking hell!" Kim yelled and suddenly she started to shake from a violent contraction that was the largest yet and she pushed for all she was worth.
"Breathe..."
"What the fuck do you think I'm fucking doing, bastard!"
Kim was struggling to breathe as she grabbed me by my t-shirt and held me tight – for a minute, I could not breathe either. There was a sudden rush of liquid from between Kim's legs. The liquid spilled onto the floor; it was like Niagara Falls! Then suddenly there was something there on the bed just behind Kim's legs.
"Fuck me!" I exclaimed as I looked down at my newborn child for the first time.
It was impossible to describe the feeling of seeing a new human being emerge and knowing that it was your own and that you had had a part in creating it...
The midwife rushed over and seized the baby, while a nurse clamped off the cord. Kim was shaking, as she lay herself back on the bed, breathing heavily like there was no tomorrow. Our new baby was placed gently onto her chest; the baby was covered in red goo and other yucky stuff, but it looked like the most beautiful thing I had ever seen – except for the mother of course!
Kim gazed down at our first child, oblivious to the state it was in and gently kissed the baby on the top of the head. Her smile was enormous and despite the fact that she looked knackered, she was radiant and I felt my love growing as I watched them both. The nurse passed me a pair of surgical scissors and I cut the cord. Kim shook once more as the placenta was expelled from within her. She smiled at me and I reached out to touch my child for the very first time. The baby was warm and the skin was very soft.
"Thank you, Marty..." Kim said weakly, before bursting into tears of happiness.
"No, Kim, thank you; the baby is just perfect... Just like you..."
"I love you Marty..."
"I love you so very much and always will..."
Safehouse D
Bruce landed on the other platform, rolling with the landing.
It was not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it had worked. We all clapped as he stood up shakily, smiling from ear to ear.
Then my cell rang; it was Chloe.
"IT'S A BOY!" She yelled down the phone, almost deafening me.