Author's Note: Please be warned that this chapter includes smut and behaviour that could be seen as indecent and salacious, including the use of words or insinuations of a very dubious, unseemly or otherwise downright dirty nature.

Monday evening

Glenview

"Motherfucker!"

"You bellowed sweet thing!"

"Dave – I just can't get this fucking right – I..."

"Look dear – not everything can be fixed by punching, kicking and generally being obnoxious!"

"Who fucking says? It always has worked for me!"

"Okay, before I come any closer can you please put the knife down... The scissors too... And just to be safe, the Sellotape as well... Thank you."

Who would have thought that there was an ever increasing list of things that Hit Girl could not do! At the top of the list, of course, was cooking without a microwave – mind you, she sucked at that too. That night we discovered another one – wrapping Christmas presents without losing your temper.

Mindy was surrounded by unwrapped presents and a rather large pile of mutilated and destroyed wrapping paper, not to mention several empty rolls of Sellotape. Actually, she had managed to wrap one present – well, sort of!

"Laugh at me and..."

..._...

I laughed and a second later I was on the floor with Hit Girl on my stomach. I grinned at my wife and chuckled at her expression.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Mindy demanded as she slid backwards and then her eyes went wide. "Yep, I felt that!"

Mindy adjusted her position on my groin. I reached up and took a good hold on the collar of her blouse and pulled her down so I could kiss her. She yelped, but allowed herself to be manhandled on top of me.

"Fuck me!" She groaned.

"By your command!" I replied as I pulled open her blouse and began to massage her breasts. They hardened to my touch as I pulled the bra out of the way.

Mindy loosened her belt and undid the button on her jeans. I slid them down her thighs exposing her purple knickers which seemed slightly moist. Mindy in turn pulled open my pants, which I had to admit was a relief!

"Give me a minute..." Mindy said, before jumping up, kicking off her jeans and losing the knickers, blouse and bra.

Completely naked, she sat back down, but only after dragging my pants and shorts down to my ankles. She allowed me to guide her onto my cock and she took a deep breath as she sank down to my groin.

"Oh... That felt good..." She exclaimed.

"Tell me about it!"

"We've never done it in here, have we?" Mindy commented as she gently rocked backwards and forwards, looking around the living room.

"Err, kitchen, bedroom, basement, garage, XJR... No, we haven't..."

"Another room off our list then!" Mindy giggled.

There was a whining sound from the door and we both looked up to see Sophia standing there. She looked thoroughly disgusted and turned away shaking her head. Her belly was sagging quite a bit now with, we believed, about six pups.

..._...

We got back to the work in hand – actually, I had Mindy's waist in my left hand... My other was further up on her chest. Mindy was struggling to breath as sensations of joy coursed through her. She moaned each time that I touched a very tender nipple. She was enjoying every second and so was I.

Then I decided that it was time for me to do some work and I flipped Mindy off me and onto the floor. She screamed, but then she started to purr... I looked down at my gorgeous wife and I felt the happiest that I had ever felt since I had first met her.

"Fuck me like there is no tomorrow, Kick-Ass!" She groaned, pulling me down on top of her, her legs spread wide apart.

I reconnected and started to move steadily and then faster and faster. Mindy groaned and began to thrash around on the wooden floor. I continued thrusting and Mindy's face screwed up, her eyes tight shit and then she screamed and I mean screamed; I was surprised that most of Chicago did not all turn to see who was screaming!

We both climaxed within seconds of each other and I rolled off Mindy as she curled up fighting off a massive orgasm that rocked her short, thin frame from top to bottom.

"God damn it!"

I was finally able to speak again... That had to be the worst – or the best, depending on how you looked at it – orgasm ever! My legs were like jelly and my crotch was on fire and I felt like I would never walk again.

Dave was grinning at me with his dorky grin that I loved.

"Merry Christmas, Hit Girl!"

"Merry Christmas, Kick-Ass!"

..._...

Sophia poked her head around the door to see if it was safe.

"You can come in now – the fun's over!" I giggled and she came over slowly. I gave her a reassuring hug, despite being completely naked and sitting with my legs crossed on the floor.

We spent the next hour wrapping the presents. The impromptu sex had soothed my temper and with my husband's help, I managed to get the presents wrapped properly, without any more temper tantrums.

Almost!

I looked up at the clock.

"Oh, shit!"

"What?"

"The kids'll be back in a few minutes!"

"Oh..." I replied as I looked down at my still naked body.

We both pulled on some clothes and pretended all was normal, just in time too.

..._...

"Hi, Dave, Mindy!" Hailee called as she came in with the three kids.

Stephanie gazed around the living room suspiciously. All the presents were already hidden away in our bedroom, but there was still evidence of our work around.

"What have you two been up to?" Stephanie inquired.

"Nothing, why?" I replied innocently.

"Nothing...?" Hailee commented, holding up my bra which she had picked up off the floor.

I felt my face heating up rather quickly.

"Ewww!" Stephanie exclaimed with a pained expression on her face.

Anne-Marie and Danny grimaced, but said nothing.

"So, how was the party?" Dave asked as he smirked at my discomfort.

"Not bad – Danny got kissed by three girls – all under the mistletoe!" Anne-Marie said with a grin.

Danny went bright red.

"What about you? I saw you with Jimmy Edwards..." Danny countered.

Now it was Anne-Marie's turn to blush.

"Stephanie got hit on too!" Hailee added.

"I'm outta here!" A slightly embarrassed Stephanie growled as she ran out of the living room and we heard her running up the stairs.

She was followed by Anne-Marie and Danny.

..._...

"Can't leave you two alone for a minute, can we?" Hailee asked, twirling my bra around her finger.

"Okay, we had sex – I was getting a bit wound up..."

"She threw a major hissy fit and I had to calm her down," Dave laughed.

"Got everything done?"

"Yes, we did. Thanks for taking them tonight."

"Anytime, guys – Merry Christmas!"

The following night

Central Chicago

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

"I thought Hit Girl loved Christmas?"

"Yes, Kick-Ass, I do – but you just look, well... Ridiculous!"

"Nice Santa hat, Kick-Ass!"

"Thank you, Shadow… Just getting into the mood, unlike Hit Grinch over there!"

Hit Girl growled as she turned and headed out of the alley.

..._...

We were out in the City, ensuring that the Season was to be one of 'Glad Tidings and Joy' for all. Some, however, had not got the memo! We had not gone very far when we found our first score...

"Aw, come on – it's fucking Christmas, guys!"

The two men turned to find themselves face to face with their worst nightmare. Hit Girl stared at them, no weapons in evidence.

"We've got families to feed – we need..."

"It's Christmas, so I'm in a good mood – ignore Kick-Ass; he's just loopy..."

The two men were staring at my Christmas headgear.

"... Here – take this and fuck off home. I see you out again and I will not be pleased!"

"Wow!" The man said as he examined what he had just been given. It was a thick wad of cash – real cash.

"I... Merry Christmas, Fusion!" The man exclaimed and they both bolted down an alley.

"Common thieves – they need to be with their families..." Hit Girl said simply.

..._...

It was a good night to be around the town. Everybody was out having fun, doing some last-minute shopping or just enjoying the atmosphere. Just our presence gave many a sense of well-being and safety.

Everybody loved my Santa hat – except Hit Girl!

We posed for quite a few photos. Many wanted a photo of me with Hit Girl, or Shadow with Jackal. It seemed that Wildcat had quite a fan club and she received many requests to display her claws and she even allowed herself to be kissed while having her photo taken!

If we only made one person happy that night, I was happy. It was a far cry from my early attempts at walking the streets. Now, nobody wanted to fight me just to boost their hits on YouTube! Nobody wanted to fight me, period...

Wildcat was in a funny mood that night.

I was very surprised that she allowed people to pose with her, let alone allowed herself to be kissed! I had not realised that there were many who fancied Wildcat and her claws were very popular.

I did notice Trojan bracing up every time that somebody put their arm around her or kissed her. I noticed Splinter taking a firm hold of his arm at one stage, just in case.

Shadow was also very popular. Her combat suit nicely accentuated her developing curves which attracted many teenaged boys, much to Jackal's disgust.

We never saw any action, that night – our weapons went unused and unfired.

I was happy with that, just for a night – especially at Christmas.