Despite Megumin's best attempt to kill herself and Ron, they still were able to make it to Herbology on time. Ron was rather put out, partly because of the brush with death, but mostly because they had missed lunch and they only had crackers and fruit in the infirmary.
Thankfully, Megumin didn't manage to do anything more destructive in Herbology than poke at several plants that really didn't appreciate it as they toured the greenhouse. She very assiduously avoided Yunyun, who kept trying to get close to Megumin and speak with her. Still, with the others around, it wasn't hard to keep Yunyun so nervous she couldn't speak, and the lesson soon drew to a close.
As the Gryffindors left though, Professor Sprout pulled Megumin aside.
"Well, it seems you've had quite the time so far, dearie. Don't let Professor Snape bully you. Let your head of house know if you need help, or come to me. Minerva and I both look out for our own."
"Do not worry, I have correctly identified Snape as the Evil Vizier type of villain, and will remain vigilant in uncovering any of his plots," Megumin answered.
Professor Sprout sighed. "He's not evil, dear. He's just not very good with children. Much better with the older students. Now, that's not what I really wanted to talk to you about. It's about your cousin."
"What, is she sick or something? Regretting her choice already?" Megumin demanded.
"Well, in a manner of speaking. Has she ever been away from home before?" Professor Sprout prodded gently.
"Yes, we went on holiday to Spain with my Aunt and Uncle last year," Megumin said with a shrug. "Why?"
"Ah, I mean...has she ever been away from her parents before? Or you? Stayed over at a friend's house, perhaps?" Professor Sprout asked.
"What? No. Yunyun is a friendless loser," Megumin said, turning away so that Professor Sprout couldn't see the tears of frustration forming in Megumin's eyes. "Why are you talking to me about this? Ask her."
"Hmm. Bit of a tiff you're in different houses? I suppose the two of you have never been apart before," Professor Sprout sighed. "And, well...it's not unusual for magical children raised amongst muggles to be isolated and have a hard time making friends."
"She is simply a boring NPC who is not interesting enough to be my rival or my boon companion." Megumin snapped. "If she really cared about me, she would have chosen Gryffindor!"
Professor Sprout gave Megumin a sympathetic look. "You're both going to have to learn to be your own people, Megumin. Mayhaps it's best if the two of you do spend some time apart. But if you say such hurtful things to your cousin, there will be consequences, understand? It's alright to be upset, but don't take your anger out on others."
"Hmph. Are we done?" Megumin demanded.
Professor Sprout sighed. "You can go, dear. But try to mend things with Yunyun, will you?"
"I have done nothing wrong," Megumin sniffled, and stalked away, wiping away her tears as she did so.
"Are you in trouble again already?" Hermione asked, turning towards Megumin from where she, Darkness, and Yunyun had been waiting.
Megumin glanced at Yunyun, frowning. "Don't you have your own friends?"
"W-what?" Yunyun stammered. "B-but you-"
"Go hang out with your new friends. Obviously, you didn't want to be in the same house as us," Megumin snapped.
Tears flooded Yunyun's eyes, and she ran off.
"That was not very kind of you," Darkness said, frowning at Megumin.
"You know she was sorted first. And she took the longest time of anyone. Maybe she really wanted to be with you, but the Hat convinced her Hufflepuff would be best," Hermione pointed out.
"Then she should have told the Hat it was wrong and said she was going to be with me in Gryffindor!" Megumin growled. "Come on! Let us go to Charms class. What did I miss in History of Magic?"
"Nothing," Darkness sighed. "Binns is a ghost."
"What?! How could you say nothing!? A ghost is by far the most interesting professor we have had yet!"
"You would think so, wouldn't you?" Hermione sighed. "History was always my favorite subject in school. I loved learning about ancient cultures. Binns could make the Battle of the Nile seem dull."
"You simply do not see how amazing it is that we have an actual ghost as a professor," Megumin opined. Her friends just shrugged. Megumin's hopes would be dashed soon enough.
When they entered the Charms classroom, Professor Flitwick introduced himself and directed the Gryffindors to choose their own seats.
"Are you a gnome, or a hobbit?" Megumin asked bluntly.
"I am afraid that I am not actually a hobbit, nor a dwarf in the sense that Mr. Tolkien meant," Flitwick said with a warm chuckle. "I am merely a dwarf in the more traditional sense that I am an individual of small stature."
"Oh." Megumin looked rather disappointed at the revelation. "Well, at least you appear to have some sort of interesting back story. Did you ever use tragic disability as the fuel to propel yourself to greatness and cast down those who once mocked you?"
"You know, your mother asked me much the same thing. The answer I gave her was yes." Flitwick nodded to several plaques above his desk. "I was a champion duelist on the international circuit. I would be lying if I said it wasn't rather satisfying to prove to others that size matters not."
"I understand, Master," Megumin said, bowing formally. "I accept my calling as your padawan."
"Ah, wise you are, I see. Train you in the ways of the duelist, I shall," Flitwick said in a gruff imitation of Yoda.
"YOU ARE MY FAVORITE TEACHER! THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN SNAPE!" Megumin declared loudly, earning her odd looks from the Slytherin students and Gryffindors alike. "Can I call you Master Jedi?!"
"I would prefer Professor, but I suppose I should be flattered that you see me as wise as Master Yoda," Flitwick chuckled.
"What's a Yoda?" Lavender whispered loudly to Darkness.
"I do not know, but it must be both powerful and intelligent to be like Professor Flitwick. My grandmother holds him in high esteem," Darkness answered.
"Master Yoda is the Jedi Master who trained Obi-Wan Kenobi, and later Luke Skywalker in the ways of the Jedi. He was a hermit of an unknown species that resided in the swamps of Dagobah after the clone wars nearly wiped out the Jedi Order," Hermione the Walking Encyclopedia informed unhelpfully.
"I'm afraid you'll need to demonstrate your knowledge of spell work instead of muggle cinema, Miss Granger," Flitwick said. "Take your seat, Miss Potter."
"Yes, Master Flitwick," Megumin intoned, taking a seat.
"Now, welcome to Charms Class, everyone. This, along with Transfiguration, is a wandwork class. Wands out, every class. Let's see them!"
Megumin, of course, began to cackle madly at this point, interrupting everyone else.
"So, we have come to this! I must draw upon the ancient lore once more!" Dramatically and with great pomp, Megumin stood up, then reached into her robes and drew her wand from the back of her collar.
"Er, that's not really a traditional way to carry your wand, Miss Potter," Flitwick said, blinking in consternation.
"This is Chunchumaru, my-"
Megumin paused as there was a loud snort from the Slytherin section.
"-is Chunchunmaru, my wand. He was-"
More giggles and laughter, earning a glare from Megumin as she leveled her wand at Draco, who was near to crying with laughter from what Kazuma was whispering in his ear.
"Yes, Miss Potter, simply set it on your desk. Boys, that will be enough of that. I'd hate to start the year with taking points, but if you cannot behave properly I will do so."
"Yes sir," Draco managed, sitting up, only for a dopey grin to spread over his face. "I didn't name my wand sir."
"I named mine Mr. Mxyzptlk," Kazuma said seriously.
"Mine's Dragonslayer," Dust put in.
"What? Why'd you name your wands!?" Draco demanded.
Desperately, Flitwick tried to regain control of his class. "That's, ah, nice, but I simply-"
"Wait, we're supposed to name our wands? That wasn't in the textbook!" Hermione cried, suddenly panicking that she was underprepared.
"Well, I like to call mine Wanda," Lavender said brightly.
"That's just a lame pun," Megumin opined. "You should try for something more mysterious."
"Well, I like to call my Alice, after my mother," Darkness admitted.
"That is a sufficiently awesome backstory, I like it!" Megumin declared.
"Well I just call mine Charlie because it was his wand," Ron sighed, holding up his somewhat worn wand.
"Well, if I had to choose a name, I will name my wand Olórin," Hermione declared in perfect elvish.
And with the floodgates opened, everyone simply had to name their wand on the spot. Even Draco got caught up and decided his wand was named "Purity" which was problematic for a number of reasons, but he was eleven.
"Well, I suppose that's all very nice, and it's good to have a strong bond with your wand. Think of the wand as a living creature, a partner beside you, and you will have much better results," Flitwick told the class. "Now. We're going to be practicing an elementary spell."
"Is it Color Spray?" Megumin asked eagerly.
"Even better. It is a levitation spell. And Miss Potter, if you interrupt me again, it will be points from Gryffindor," Flitwick said, finally reaching the end of even his patience with the girl.
After that, Flitwick demonstrated Wingardium Leviosa, going over the wand motions and proper incantation. "Now remember, do say the spell properly, and the motions exactly. Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too — never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said 's' instead of 'f' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest. Now begin!'
Megumin eyed her feather, then passed her wand over it, copying the movements deftly. "Wingardium Leviosa."
Her feather shot into the air, streaking up and clinging to the ceiling, which made her smile smugly. Only Herimione from the Gryffindors had managed to get her feather up at all, and from the Slytherins only Draco had gotten his to stir yet.
"Ah, very nice, Miss Potter. Two points to Gryffindor," Flitwick said, then went over to assist Darkness who looked completely lost and couldn't manage to get her wand motion right.
"What's the matter, Potter? Lost your feather?" Draco called. He now had his floating an inch or two above his desk and looked rather smug for it. Megumin didn't see why, as Hermione had her`s a good foot off the table and was guiding it around in circles, and Megumin's was still stuck to the ceiling.
"No, but I can make yours join it," Megumin said, and pointed her wand in Draco's direction.
He paled slightly, but put on a brave face. He had missed Megumin's success, and wanted to gloat. "I think not. I'd rather not have my feather go up in smoke. Let's see you levitate something first."
"Hmph." Megumin looked around, then grabbed an inkwell, punking it on her desk and pointing her wand at it.
"Not that, Miss Potter. Something that won't spill, if you please," Flitwick called.
Grumpling, Megumin took off her shoe and put that on the desk, which earned a smile and nod from Flitwick. Darkness was managing to get her feather to stir now, so Flitwick moved on across the room to the Slytherins.
At first, Megumin just floated her shoe up in the air, which earned her glares from Draco. Her feather also finally detached and floated down, which caused Megumin to gaze at it absently. She finally decided that Wingardium Leviosa was a lame, boring spell, and decided to come up with something more interesting. She set her feather beside the shoe, then stood up on her chair, folding her arms and pondering them for a moment. Nodding, she raised her wand and began,
"O winds of fortune, I call upon thee
O force of gravity, I bind thee to me,
Let now the chains of weight fall away
And let my power now hold sway!
WINGARDIUM LEVI-"
That was as far as Megumin got. Flitwick, who had been distracted, looked up in horror to see Megumin's eyes glowing brightly, her wand gathering elemental forces around it and glowing with an eerie light. "POTTER!"
He was too late though. There was a defending roar as wind gusted, blowing out two windows and slamming the door open. Gravity in the room seemed to turn off for a moment , then become very confused and tossed everyone about. Megumin was cackling gleefully, right up until a desk smashed into her head and she dropped to the floor.
The next thing Megumin knew, she was back in the infirmary. The extremely irate face of Madame Pomfrey was glaring down at her, and Megumin managed a weak smile.
"Girl. The previous record for most infirmary visits in their first week was set by the Weasley twins, at four. You are on track to break this on your very first day. Do I need to explain why this nettles me?"
Blinking, Megumin managed to shake her head very slightly. It throbbed mightily, but that was the price of greatness.
"Good. Now, I have your wand here. I am keeping your wand. It will be delivered to your head of house, who will be giving it whichever class you need it for next. I am not returning it to you. Do you understand why?"
"Because I am too powerful and Chunchumaru combining with my deep crimson would unleash a tide of devastation the likes of which-"
"No. It is because you are a foolish, foolish child, who keeps finding new and creative ways to break herself and others. This time, you managed to deliver unto me four concussions, five broken bones, dozens of various bruises, and utterly demolish one classroom. Did you not hear your professor's instructions to copy the words and movements exactly?"
"Yes, and I did that, but then I decided to make the incantation more compelling."
"And how did that work out for you?" Madame Pomfrey asked.
Megumin winced and touched her head. "Um, well, I may be a genius, but even genius' occasionally have mishaps along their path to greatness."
"I see. Well. Professor McGonagall will be taking care of your wand until you are able to answer that question properly."
"But Chunchumaru is a wild, free soul, who cannot be tamed!"
Madame Pomfrey did not dignify that with a response, walking away with a heavy sigh. This left Megumin to stew in her own juices for a bit. When the curtain to her little corner of the infirmary moved aside, Megumin tried to sink down into her blankets, expecting to see McGonagall. Instead, she found herself looking up into the lined face of Albus Dumbledore.
"Oh. Am I being expelled?" Megumin asked, feeling sick to her stomach. This was not how her story was supposed to go!
"Not quite yet. Though I must say, I am rather impressed. It is difficult to get Professors Snape, Flitwick, and McGonagall to agree on anything, but they all seem to very much agree on you, Miss Potter," Dumbledore said. He flicked his wand, and a chair slid over for him to sink down into.
This was a song and dance that Megumi was all too familiar with. She groaned and buried her head in her hands. "Just don't expel Yunyun too. This time she wasn't even there."
Dumbledore paused in what he had been about to say. "This time?"
"Well, last time, I picked a fight with Alberta Jenkins because she took Yunyun's lunch. But Alberta was twice as big as I was and Cathrine Smith and Katie Mathers were bigger than me too, so they had me down on the ground and were attempting to practice dentistry upon me. So Yunyun attacked them as well. I think she must have used some magic because she broke Alberta's nose and gave Cathrine a black eye, which allowed me to put Katie in a headlock. And, um, well, we were both expelled. But Vernon wasn't too mad at me because I was defending Yunyun's honor. Only I wasn't doing that this time so Vernon will probably simply abandon me at the train station."
Dumbledore seemed at a complete loss for words, and Megumin pondered her lot in life. After a moment, she nodded. "I shall simply have to find a boat or airplane and travel to South America to make my fortune as a treasure hunter in the jungle."
"That is...hmm. Well, I suppose that would be rather exciting, wouldn't it? But rather lonely. And you wouldn't get to see Yunyun very often," Dumbledore said gently.
Megumin hunched over, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. "No. I am sorry. I didn't...I don't even know what I did."
"Well, I think I have a guess. Would you like to hear it?" Dumbledore asked.
Megumin nodded, sniffing and wiping at her tears.
"It seems you are a rather talented young woman, Miss Potter. I once knew a very talented young man, one who everyone said was a genius, and gifted in all the arts of magic, and would do great things."
Megumin perked up at this, and focused her attention completely on Dumbledore. He nearly tripped over his own words, as the glowing red eyes bored into his, and for the first time, Dumbledore began to wonder. Neither Lily nor James had red eyes, but both Yunyun and Megumin did. They were not unheard of, especially in those of inhuman ancestry, but there was nowhere in the Potter bloodline that Dumbledore knew of that could explain this. Or in Evans' bloodline come to think of it.
For the moment, he set that aside and continued in his task. "One day in Transfiguration class, this young man became bored. He was supposed to turn a brick into a turtle, but that seemed rather dull and trite. Turtles are so ordinary, after all."
"I like turtles," Megumin blurted, then blushed and looked down.
"They are wonderful creatures, are they not? Well, this young man decided that since he was a genius, and had already turned his brick into a turtle and back two times, to try something new. He decided to transfigure his brick into a living flame. Something much more interesting, don't you think?"
Megumin nodded her agreement, keeping her mouth shut for once.
"Well, truth be told, the young man succeeded. So well, in fact, that he spent three days in the infirmary growing a new set of skin, and the classroom he had been in had to be entirely rebuilt after three professors managed to finally contain the flames."
"Well, at least he proved he was a genius?" Megumin asked hesitantly.
"Oh, quite. He invented a new spell, as a matter of fact. One that to the best of my knowledge no one has used since as it is incredibly dangerous. But he did learn a valuable lesson."
"Always work in well ventilated areas with objects secured safely and proper protective equipment?" Megumin guessed.
Dumbledore opened his mouth, then closed it again. "You know, that is remarkably sound advice. I am impressed, Miss Potter."
"It was in Uncle Vernon's workplace safety manual," Megumin explained. "I read it because I was bored and we never had enough books."
"One can never have too many books," Dumbledore chuckled. "But, aside from that excellent advice, the young man-"
"He was you, right?" Megumin asked.
"Indeed. That day, I learned to be very, very cautious when trying new spells and incantations," Dumbledore said, his eyes sparkling. "You can create wondrous things with magic, but also terrible and deadly things. One day you may well become a great spell crafter. But it is best to learn how to walk before one tries to fly."
"So I should listen to my professors and not try new spells when I don't even know any yet," Megumin sighed. "But I thought all my teachers agreed I was a menace to society and that I should be expelled."
"Ah, so you remember. That is not quite what your professors agreed on."
"Well it's what all my teachers at primary school agreed on," Megumin grumbled.
"Here at Hogwarts we do things somewhat differently. No, your professors all agree that you are a remarkably gifted young woman, and with proper teaching, you will one day become a very talented witch. But, at the moment, you are a reckless individual who needs a strong hand to guide her."
"Well, heroes are supposed to be reckless and brave. Weren't you in Gryffindor? That's why you lit the school on fire, to prove you were brave," Megumin posited.
"No, I lit the school on fire because I was foolish and overeager. It was a very painful experience," Dumbledore grimaced in memory. "And I was very sorry to have hurt my friends. We were quite lucky no one was killed."
That made Megumin go pale. "Um, no one died, right? I think Kazuma and Malfoy are pri-um, pretty dumb, but I didn't want to kill them and I sort of like the other girls in Gryffindor."
"There were plenty of injuries, but we are rather used to those here at Hogwarts. You are not the first young witch to have a spell go awry, even if yours did so in a rather spectacular manner."
Megumin puffed up at that, but it took only a mild look of reproof for her to deflate. "That wasn't a compliment was it."
"No. You do wish to be a great witch, don't you?"
"The greatest ever!"
"Well, see to it that you are both great, and good," Dumbledore said gently. "It was a great man who killed your parents."
"Oh." Megumin considered this, then looked down. "I'll do better. And, um, follow the professor's directions in class."
"I am glad to hear it. You will still need to earn the privilege of having your wand back, a process that may take some weeks before you prove you are to be trusted. But you strike me as someone who does not often make the same mistake twice."
"No, sir," Megumin agreed eagerly. "So I'm not expelled?"
"I am afraid South America will have to wait for someone else to plunder its lost temples," Dumbledore chuckled, standing. "You will have detention for a week, in addition to losing your wand save for classes. I do not think further points from Gryffindor will matter at this point, as you seem to have drained them all."
Megumin colored at that and looked down. "Yes, sir."
"Rest well, young lady. And remember: Learn to walk before you try to fly."
Megumin nodded, and vowed that she would be a paragon of wisdom and virtue from thenceforth, fully intending to walk the straight and narrow path.
But you know what they say intentions are used as paving stones for.