Thanks to the combined effect of midterm exams and a not insubstantial amount of detentions for various and sundry crimes, the Dungeon Delve was put off until after the Winter Holidays. Though Megumin considered trying to stay at Hogwarts for the break, Yunyun informed her in no uncertain terms that "Christmas is for family and you will come home!"
Since no one else was going to be staying at Hogwarts that year, with Ron getting to spend the Holiday with Chris and his brothers at her flat in Hogsmeade, Megumin consented to go home.
"I'm going to enjoy not having a million detentions for at least a couple weeks," Ron sighed as they trooped down to the Great Hall with their bags.
"Just remember that detentions build character, and thus are important for our development as heroes," Megumin reminded him.
"Yeah, well, I think I'm all charactered out," Ron said with a shrug. "Merry Christmas."
"Thanks, it's my birthday!"
Ron blushed and jumped slightly as Chris poked her head in. "Heya kiddo! Ready for a fun filled holiday?"
"I um, brought my broom," Ron managed, looking down and scuffing his boot along the floor.. "Maybe...we could go flying?"
"Ooooooo," twin voices chorused. "Ickle Ronnikins has a crush!"
Ron whirled, his face aflame as the twins bounded up. "Stuff it! I just...I'm a seeker, she's a seeker, I just want some tips!"
"Ronnikins has a crush," his brothers cooed in a sing-song tone. "Ronnikins has-"
"Keep that up and you two are sleeping outside," Chris huffed, and both of the twins immediately quieted down.
"Yes, O mistress of the malign," George said seriously, giving a short bow. "Your students hear, and obey."
"You're going to teach us how to disillusion ourselves, right?" Fred asked eagerly.
Chris made a face. "Teach you lot to disillusion yourselves? Please."
The twins' expressions fell, but then Chris winked and leaned forward. "I'm going to teach you how to PROPERLY sneak. Disillusionment charms are for chumps."
"Please don't," Percy sighed, adjusting his glasses as he trundled into the hall with his own luggage. "They're enough trouble as it is."
"There's no such thing as too much trouble," Chris chuckled. When Percy looked disapproving, Chris elbowed him. "Hey! I'm a responsible adult! Trust me!"
"Oh, she's responsible alright," Fred agreed. "Because if something gets nicked-"
"-then Chris is usually responsible," George finished.
"You can't prove a thing," Chris said airly. Then stepped forward and gave Darkness a hug. "I'll see you around, kiddo! Maybe if you're good, you'll get a present for Chris-mas."
"Don't you mean Christmas?" Hermione demanded.
"Her birthday is December 25th," Ron explained. "And, well, she's got her own religion."
"I'm an Erisite too," Darkness said stubbornly. "It's a perfectly sensible religion. My mum followed it."
"Really? Well I've never heard about it," Hermione said skeptically.
"Trust me, it's loads better than other religions," George said with a wide grin. "They've got an entire section on pranks!"
"The mysteries of Eris are vast, but remember; only the deserving should be punished by divine justice," Chris said seriously.
"Well that just sounds silly," Hermione sniffed. "I don't believe in any religion."
"I believe in the power of DESTINY!" Megumin cackled.
"I-I believe in Friendship!" Yunyun added hastily.
"Oh, I think you'll all get religion sooner or later," Chris said, tapping her nose. "Consider it a prediction: This entire world might just experience a reformation."
"Hmph. Well, Merry Christmas," Hermione said, and picked up her bags. "Come on, let's get to the train station. I don't want to be in this beastly cold for too long."
"Happy Holidays," Chris said sweetly. She saluted Megumin and Yunyun. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you girls soon. Just remember, I put the Chris is Chris-mas!"
"It would be an appropriate time for us to learn the true meaning of Christmas," Megumin mused as they all made their way down the path towards the Hogsmeade station. "Preferably by saving it from some great evil."
"Yes! Christmas is for f-friends!" Yunyun agreed eagerly.
"That's all stuff and nonsense," Hermione said with a shake of her head. "It's just a load of tosh that corporations make up to sell more greeting cards and manufactured goods."
"Chris says that the true meaning of Fortune's Eve is to celebrate the Light of the Goddess, and to pray for good fortune in the coming year," Darkness said, looking somewhat offended.
"What goddess, exactly? You don't actually mean Eris, Goddess of Discord, do you?" Hermione demanded.
"That entire affair with the apple was exaggerated by slanderous heathens! Chris says it was just a joke, and that Athena doesn't even hold a grudge about the whole thing!" Darkness snapped. "Eris is the Goddess of Fortune! Not Discord!"
"Uh huh. I take it you're not terribly familiar with Greek mythology," Hermione said smugly.
"I am very familiar with Greek Mythology!" Megumin piped up, rather irritated at being mostly ignored. "Zeus had the right idea: A massive barrage of lightning bolts! We should find out if any such spell exists to smite the wicked!"
"W-well, t-they said no magic while we weren't at school," Yunyun pointed out.
"I don't think the Ministry actually has a squad of Hit Wizards on standby for students who break the Statute," Darkness said, though her tone was uncertain. "But I don't want my wand taken away…again..."
"I'm sure they won't mind if we do a bit of quiet magic, around the house as it were," Hermione said. Then she paused, and eyed Megumin sideways. "One should remember that there is no such thing as a quiet explosion."
"If there is no one left alive to hear your explosion, does it make a sound?" Megumin said in a faux philosophical tone.
"YES!" all three of her friends shouted immediately.
Aboard the train, the four girls all bought hot chocolate and took a compartment for themselves, settling in for the long ride back to London. The train had just pulled out of the station when the door slid open.
"Hey guys!" Dust said, smiling and waving. "Kazuma said to make sure that you didn't secretly sneak back to the castle to steal the treasure, because that would be cheating, so I-"
"You're not supposed to just SAY that you idiot!" Kazuma's strangled voice cried from down the hall.
"Oh, right." Dust turned back. "Hey! Um...thanks for saving my life, Yunyun. That was pretty cool."
Yunyun blushed and looked down, uncertain as to what to do about the praise. Meanwhile, Hermione was struggling very hard to contain her laughter.
"What's so funny?" Dust asked, sounding puzzled.
"Nothing," Hermione said, snorting in a very undignified fashion. "Just...Merry Christmas, Dust."
"Hey, you too! Oh, I almost forgot, these are for you all." Dust dug around in his pockets, pulling out several half melted and crushed chocolate frogs. "Merry Christmas to you all! And may the best Adventurers win!"
"You know," Darkness mused, accepting her battered bit of chocolate. "You don't really act like I imagined the spawn of a Death Eater would."
"Dad says sometimes he thinks I'm a changeling. Mum says the house elf dropped me on my head as a baby," Dust confined. He wrapped his head with his knuckles. "Luckily, that's my hardest part! Well, have fun!"
With that, Dust closed the compartment door again and wandered off.
"Hmm. I am beginning to suspect that Dust does not have the proper temperament to be a good rival," Megumin said, licking the chocolate from her fingers as she had already swallowed most of it.
"Seriously, how did he end up in Slytherin?" Hermione giggled, wiping her eyes. "He's like a great big puppy."
"He said he sang something called 'The Muggle Baiting Song' to the hat," Megumin said with a shrug.
Darkness spat out her frog, then scrubbed her hands in disgust. "That...that hideous! Ugh! I ought to strangle him!"
"Why?" Herimione asked suspiciously, glancing down at her weakly croaking candy.
"I'm not going to repeat that song, but it's VILE," Darkness said with certainty. "If Dust knows a song like that...he's just playing at being kind and innocent, to lure us in. Secretly, he's the most wicked of them all."
"I-I think Dust is nice," Yunyun said hastily.
Darkness gave her a pitying look. "Yunyun...your parents are muggles. The muggle baiting song...it's about…" Darkness licked her lips. "About...hunting muggles. For sport."
Hermione let out a startled gasp, while Megumin sat up and looked murderous. Though really, that could have meant anything, as Megumin tended to look ready to explode something at any moment. Because she was.
"Well...well then I'll just have to make sure we're f-friends!" Yunyun declared, slamming her fist into her palm. "That w-way, he'll know better!"
"I don't think it will be that easy," Darkness sighed, leaning back against her seat and looking pensive. "The tensions between the magical and muggle world are deep, and go back ages. There have been horrible things done on both sides. That's why we decided to hide."
"Ha! There shall be no hiding from the power of my sorcerous might!" Megumin cackled. "One day, all shall kneel, muggle and wizard alike!"
"You sound like a Dark Lord," Darkness said suspiciously.
"Don't be silly: I'm the hero, not the villain." Megumin pointed to her scar. "This says so."
"I don't think that's how it-" Hermione began, but Darkness elbowed her, hard.
"Yes, that's right. So as the heroes, we have to act properly, and fight for justice," Darkness said seriously.
"And f-friendship!" Yunyun agreed.
Hermione shrugged. Honestly, she was fine with being a villain, so long as she was the proper sort who was refined and had a good library. Well, and her friends were there.
They whiled the hours away, until they at last returned to Platform 9 ¾. Petunia was standing on the platform, looking a bit lost and confused, in the company of Hermione's parents as well as Madam Longbottom.
"Mum!" Yunyun cried happily, and lept into her mother's arms.
"It's good to see you again, love," Petunia said, giving her daughter a tight squeeze. "My, but you've grown! You're practically a woman now!"
Yunyun blushed and looked down, but she had grown at least an inch since September. Megumin frowned in consternation, as she had managed perhaps half that. Yunyun had always been taller and heavier than she was, and that was only increasing, even if Yunyun seemed to be destined to be of below average height herself.
"Megumin." Petunia turned to give her niece a hug, and if it wasn't quite as tight as the one she gave her own daughter, it was still affectionate. "How was school?"
"It was incredible! I have embarked upon my journey to become an arch-wizard, and have mastered many spells, and slain many foes!" Megumin paused, then added, "Yunyun has also proven to be tolerably adept at fighting, having defeated a troll."
"I've had letters, though she made it sound more like she made friends with a troll," Petunia said, sounding worried. "Surely they're rather nice?"
"S-Smiley is my friend! I, just, um...well, he didn't want to be f-friends at first, but I taught him better," Yunyun explained. "Where's dad?"
"At home with his broken leg," Petunia said, sounding disgusted. "I'll have to teach you two how to disable the security system when we get there."
"Uncle Vernon's had an ADVENTURE?" Megumin gasped. "Finally! I knew that once my powers awakened my family would become interesting!"
Petunia winced, then gestured towards the other girls. "Why don't you two introduce me to your friends?"
After a few introductions and then farewells, they departed from the platform. Petunia had to close her eyes and hold Yunyun's hand, but they made it back to the car eventually. They had brought back only a few necessities that fit in a pair of bags, so they all bundled in and headed back to Little Whinging.
"There's my girl!" Vernon called, waving as the car pulled up to the driveway. "Let me just lower the gate."
Megumin watched in sheer delight as Vernon pulled out a remote control and lowered a metal gate, which sparked as it did so. It appeared to be electrified, as well as reinforced with razor wire at the top, and stood a good two meters high.
In fact, a metal fence ran all the way around the property, and was also reinforced by cameras, motion sensors, and tripwires. The garden also appeared to contain several booby traps disguised as mounds of earth or rakes that were artfully placed where an intruder would be most likely to step on them, hidden in grass that was just a bit higher than it should have been. Indeed, Megumin even spied the gleam of caltrops hidden in the weeds.
"Is this my Christmas present?!" Megumin gasped, running up and jumping on Vernon to give the shocked man a hug. "This is everything I ever wanted!"
"Er…" Vernon looked at Megumin in confusion, wincing slightly as she trod on his injured foot. "I suppose it is. Can return that bloody-"
"Vernon! We are not returning Megumin's present!" Petunia snapped. "She's been very well behaved at school."
"Of course, how could a genius like myself help but flourish?" Megumin agreed.
Yunyun sighed and forced a smile. She'd somewhat edited their escapades in her letters, by which I mean that Yunyun's letters could have passed for a fictional novel series that described two other girls that shared their names but absolutely none of their behavioral characteristics. At least Hedwig had gotten a good workout.
Speaking of Hedwig, the owl had flown herself home, and Yunyun happily fed her pet some owl treats as a reward for all her hard work. Megumin took Chomusuke out of her jacket where the cat had been sleeping and set her on her old mattress under the stairs, before heading up to her room.
"I had Vernon set it to rights," Petunia told Megumin. "And we've got you some new clothes. Consider them your Christmas present. You've grown a bit, but they should all fit."
The room itself wasn't lavishly decorated, but it did have some tasteful furniture, and a few posters of science fiction and fantasy movies, as well as a bookshelf with a collection of novels and a few new additions obtained in Diagon Alley.
"I find this dwelling acceptable," Megumin said with a nod. She considered, then gave Petunia a quick hug. "Thank you. I appreciate that you understand that as I have begun my career, the need for me to suffer at the hands of my cruel relatives has passed."
"And what about your relatives' suffering?" Petunia muttered, but she hugged Megumin back anyway.
Dinner was Chinese takeout, a favorite of both Megumin and Yunyun, while dessert was a nice cherry topped cheesecake Petunia had made. Megumin managed to exert some self-control after Yunyun kicked her only twice, much to the relief of Vernon and Petunia.
"S-so, um, how did you break your leg?" Yunyun asked Vernon as they were finishing dinner.
"I fell down some stairs," Vernon growled.
"He's having a bit of a tiff with the neighbor," Petunia said, giving Vernon a scathing look.
"He's not practicing CONSTANT-"
Upon hearing the shout of a stranger from the kitchen, Vernon just about fell out of his chair swearing, while Petunia sighed and put her head in her hands.
The reactions of Megumin and Yunyun were rather different.
"PROTEGO!" Yunyun bellowed, jumping in front of her parents, followed up by a "Sectumsempra!"
Megumin went into a perfect combat roll and came up with a shout of "POMPARI MAX-"
"EXPELLIARMUS!" Moody thundered, and Megumin's wand flew out of her hand before she could finish her incantation. There was still a blinding and deafening explosion that shattered all the windows and sent Petunia and Vernon to the floor in pain at the sensory overload.
Yunyun's spell managed to cut a great big hole in the wall, but her target was moving. He pointed his wand at Yunyun's shield and growled, "Clypeusi ruptorus!"
To his shock, his spell skittered off of Yunyun's shield, and he had to cast a second time, by which point Yunyun had cried, "Flipendo!"
Swearing, Moody got out of the way of the second spell as Yunyun's shield fell. "Brachiabindo!"
Yunyun fell to the ground, bound with ropes, but then Megumin popped up with her wand back in hand. "CONFRINGO!"
This time Moody's wand blurred as he pointed at the blossoming blast. "Madefaciatum!"
There was a second minor detonation, and then Moody fired off a second binding hex. Both girls were on the ground now, groaning.
Which is when Vernon popped up with his shotgun and pulled the trigger. There was only a clicking sound.
"Don't bother, I cursed that piece to never fire at me," Moody told him. He flicked his wand and the shotgun sailed out of Vernon's hands.
"GET OUT!" Petunia wailed. "You absolute monster! Look what you've done to my dining room!"
"Yes, not bad," Moody mused, taking a piece of cheesecake from the shattered dinnerware. "It's about bloody time someone in this family showed proper vigilance. Though your husband is learning."
"Unhand me, villain!" Megumin screeched. "Those who seek to harm my family will know the wrath of the Crimson Demon Clan!"
Yunyun just glared at Moody, pure murder in her burning eyes.
There was a loud pop, and a second stranger appeared, this one with hair that was shifting rapidly through all the colors of the rainbow. "Oh bleedin' hell! Boss, what is WRONG with you!? The sprogs haven't even been home for a couple of hours!"
"Yes, but you were only on duty for twenty more minutes. I had to be sure," Moody said with a shrug.
"Thanks for that! I'm going to be at the Ministry for HOURS yet dealing with this nonsense," Tonks groaned. She sighed and looked around. "What did you have to go and lay waste to this place for? The neighbors had to have heard. I'll need the Obliviators for this…"
"Don't bother, I already put them all to sleep. They didn't hear a thing," Moody declared. He took a bite of cheesecake. "Excellent as always, Petunia."
Petunia snarled, stomping up and slapping the cake right out of Moody's hands. "Unbind my girls THIS INSTANT!"
"Oh very well. I must say, I'm impressed. Didn't think your daughter and niece would have the reactions of trained aurors. Even if their aim is rubbish." Moody unbound both Megumin and Yunyun, who immediately grabbed their wands.
"Mum, dad, are you alright?" Yunyun gasped, helping her father up and glaring daggers at Moody.
Megumin just leveled her wand at the intruders. "You have ten seconds to evacuate the premises or explain yourselves, or I will be forced to unleash the full might of my dark powers."
"I'm Tonks. This is Alastor Moody. We're...well, basically we're the pair assigned to watch over you and your family while you're on Holiday, Potter."
"I had to test your reflexes. See if you have what it takes, girl," Moody said, brushing crumbs and smeared cake off his shirt.
Megumin cocked her head to one side. "This is a test?"
"A bloody menace is what he is!" Vernon raged. "I've put up every security system I can think of and this maniac still breaks in every time!"
"I had a spot of bother with that latest system. Not bad, Vernon. You still forgot about the roof though. I landed my broom there," Moody said, waving his wand and restoring the damaged kitchen.
"Wait," Megumin said, frowning. "Are you the one who broke Vernon's leg?"
Yunyun gasped, her wand snapping up as she practically quivered with rage. "You hurt my daddy?!"
"Don't be silly. Fool man did it to himself trying to defeat my security system. Stumbled over a simple tripwire. Wasn't even magical," Moody said with a snort.
"Oh." Yunyun lowered her wand, biting her lip. "W-well, I'm still cross with you…"
Dawning comprehension came to Megumin, and she turned to Vernon, beaming with pride. "Uncle Vernon! You have a rival!"
"What?! I never-" Vernon spluttered, but he flushed and looked rather guilty despite his protests.
"Is that true?" Yunyun asked.
Her mother sighed and nodded. "I suppose so. It's rather silly if you ask me. Two grown men, acting like a couple of school boys, trying to outdo themselves in how complicated they can make their security systems."
"Sorry about the mess, Petunia," Tonks apologized, using her own wand to help clean up. "We'll get this set to rights."
"I am so proud of you!" Megumin said, slapping Vernon on the back hard enough to make him wince. "A true rival! We'll make a proper Crimson Demon out of you yet, Uncle!"
Vernon looked for a moment like he was going to have an apoplexy, until Yunyun gasped with delight and gave her father a hug. "Oh, I'm so h-happy for you, Daddy! You have a friend!"
"I've got plenty of friends, but he's not one of them," Vernon grumbled.
Then Yunyun turned and extended a hand to Moody. "P-please be careful. My father isn't a wizard, a-and he's not very experienced as an Adventurer. C-can you help him get better at trap making? H-he needs a hobby."
Moody appeared absolutely delighted, and shook Yunyun's hand with a smile. "What do you think I've been doing, girl? I'm retiring at the end of next year. Man has to have a hobby, right? Your father is coming along nicely. I'll teach him to practice Constant Vigilance."
After Tonks and Moody cleaned up most of the warzone, they said their goodbyes.
"Stay on your toes, girls," Moody growled. "You never know when danger will pop up."
"Try to use less deadly spells the next time the boss decides to pay you a visit," Tonks sighed.
"Nonsense!" Moody huffed. "If a pair of wet behind the ears girls can do me in, I don't deserve to live!"
"Truly, I look forward to learning from such a wise and powerful master!" Megumin declared, looking ecstatic.
Vernon looked like he was sucking on lemons, especially when Yunyun gave Moody and Tonks goodbye hugs.
"Stay away from that man, he's dangerous," Vernon ordered once the door was closed.
"Yes, but so are we! And we shall become deadlier yet!" Megumin cackled.
"Let's just put your leg up, daddy. We have to get ready to secure the roof tomorrow," Yunyun told Vernon, which perked him right up.
Petunia just made herself a gin and tonic, hold the tonic.