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4 Chapters in 48 hours! You guys are getting spoiled this weekend!
I had the craziest dream this morning! It was absolutely insane! I swear it was like a psychotic Collin & Finn antics type dream. I'll post it at the end of this chapter. You guys will die laughing!
I hope you all are healthy and doing well. Please, if you haven't been taking Covid seriously, because it has yet to happen to you, I urge you to start IMMEDIATELY! Please follow the health department guidelines, and practice social distancing, and for the love of all that is good, please PLEASE WEAR A MASK when you go out in public! If you aren't already, please PLEASE take covid seriously! Be smart, be respectful, and wear a mask. My husband and I caught this awful virus a month ago, and we are still fighting to recover. Please, PLEASE take this seriously. Get the vaccine when it is your turn, and please do everything you can to keep yourself and your family safe.
Thank you everyone who has posted a review for me to read! I absolutely LOVE reading them! Thank you so much! You guys really keep me going. I really look forward to reading every single one of them. And thank you to everyone who has sent me a private message while I've been away. I appreciate you checking on me. It really means a lot. :-)
May 3, 2017
6:00am
Huntzberger Residence
New York City, NY
"Wakey wakey!" Lorelai smiled, walking into Rory's bedroom carrying a tray of food. "Happy baby day!"
"Mom, why are you up so early? We have plenty of time." Rory groaned, opening one eye to check the time on her phone that sat on her bedside table.
"I'm up because I'm a little too excited to sleep, and because I know from experience that you are not going to be able to eat until after Ayribella is born, so I need to get some food into you now, that way it has time to digest and won't make you sick while you're in labor."
"She's got a point." Logan commented with a yawn as he stretched his arms out over his head.
"I have coffee. And it's the REAL stuff!" Lorelai told them.
"Give me!" Rory demanded, holding her arms out.
"Logan, there are eggs downstairs if you'd like them. I know better than to bring them around Rory. But I have waffles, fruit and whipped cream."
"Sounds delicious!" Logan told her.
"Luke wants to know what you would like him to bring to the hospital for you after Ayribella is born. What kind of gigantic meal sounds good to you?"
"Would he grill me a big juicy burger, with chili cheese fries, cherry pie, and a chocolate shake?"
"I'm sure that he would be more than happy to. I'll let him know."
"I have to admit that I love having Luke here. It makes me miss Stars Hollow a little bit less."
"I know exactly what you mean."
"Hey, do you think that Luke would be willing to make some Danishes while he's here?"
"I already asked."
"And?"
"He says that it's on your shopping list, right above smores."
"Nice!"
"Do you guys need anything before I go finish getting ready?"
"Not that I can think of." Logan answered as he sat up in bed, and took the breakfast tray from Lorelai, placing it down between him and Rory. "Thank you for bringing breakfast up."
"It was my pleasure. Just leave the tray here when you are done, and I'll bring it down later. Holler if you decide that you need anything." Lorelai smiled, then headed out of the room, leaving them to eat alone.
"I have to admit, I kind of like having breakfast in bed, and not having to make it myself."
"Hey, I've made you breakfast in bed before!" Rory scoffed.
"You did it once, on my birthday. But you forgot the peeled grapes."
"Those don't came in a jar."
"But have you checked?"
"Really? You are really going to pick on the woman giving birth to your daughter today?"
"Well, it's not a son, so there's that."
"Says the doctor who knows damn well that it's the male's sperm that determine the gender. Making the fact that you are getting a daughter, entirely all your fault!"
"You are feisty this morning!" Logan chuckled as they both dug into the food.
"And you are baiting me."
"Eh, it comes with the territory."
"You need to be nicer to the woman who is about to squeeze a watermelon out of a pea hole."
"How about a nice hot shower to help relax you before we go?"
"That's a start." Rory grinned.
"Are you ready to be done with the monitors after today?"
"You mean am I ready to be done with Paris babysitting me, and constantly questioning my every move?"
"And lecturing me every time she sees me, about what I am allowed to do with my wife, and the things that she thinks are appropriate."
"I cannot say that I will miss that at all."
"I can definitely agree to that. You are a much more tolerable doctor than she is."
"We should get some kind of revenge."
"What do you mean?"
"We've been really well behaved for the last several months, dealing with all of Paris' constant scrutiny."
"I definitely won't miss having to lie to her about taking sitting in the pool, or taking a long luke warm bath."
"We got you to 36 weeks. And as of today, you are 37. That's full term."
"What are you talking about?" Rory asked as Logan reached for the black monitor box that was attached to the scooped neckline of Rory's pajama top.
"I'm turning the monitors off."
"You are playing with fire."
"How long do you think it will be before she calls?"
"She usually gives me 10-15 minutes."
"Should we answer, or should we let it go to voicemail?"
"You mean you want to let Paris stew in her own controlling rage?"
"What I mean is let's have some fun, and mess with Paris while we do it." Logan told her as he began to remove the leads from Rory's chest and stomach.
"It's your funeral." Rory told him as both of their cell phones simultaneously pinged with a text message.
From Paris
To Logan and Rory:
No sex before delivery. I'll be able to tell.
"Are you freaking kidding me?!"
"I told you, it's your funeral!"
"I'm sending her a bunch of eggplant emojis."
From Logan
To Paris and Rory:
LIAR!
"You do realize that she is going to make your life hell today, right?"
"Please, what is the worst that she can do? Give me dirty looks all day, and lecture me about 'keeping it in my pants'?"
"It's Paris. Do you really want to cross her?"
"Yes! She's been controlling my life since we got back together. Today is freedom day! Besides, Paris is just jealous that we have a much better and I'm sure way more enjoyable sex life that she does."
"Please, I'm pretty sure that most of her patients have a better sex life. But like I said before, it's your funeral!" Rory told him, as she finished her waffles.
"I'm going to go start the shower. Do you need help getting up?"
"Nope! This is the one piece of furniture that I actually don't need help with. This bed is high enough that I can swing my legs over the edge, and drop onto the floor."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive. Go start the shower. I'll be there in a minute." Rory told him.
* ~ * 7:30am * ~ *
After showering, getting ready for the day ahead, and gathering the last of the things they would be needing for the hospital stay, Rory and Logan carefully made their way down the stairs to find Lorelai drinking coffee at the dining room table with Emily and Richard, as they perused the morning newspaper.
"Good morning." Richard spoke, seeing the duo enter the room.
"Hey Grandpa." Rory smiled.
"Where's Luke?" Logan asked.
"He took Rocky for a walk about twenty minutes ago. He should be back soon."
"Did you two get enough to eat?" Emily asked.
"We did. Thank you guys for taking care of breakfast." Rory answered as Logan pulled out a chair at the table for her to sit.
"Are you two excited? Are you ready to finally be parents?"
"More than ready."
"Good, I am so glad! Richard, Luke and I have everything fully under control here. You two have absolutely nothing to worry about. We will be running interference for you for the next few weeks, unless you want us to stop."
"Thank you Grandma, we really appreciate it."
"Luke changed the lock codes to all of your doors last night after everyone was in bed. You won't be getting any surprise visitors from now on. Anyone who decides to drop by will have to contend with Emily before being allowed inside."
"Did he change the code to the garage too?" Logan asked.
"He did."
"Excellent! If one of you could just text us the code, so we don't end up being locked out of our own house, that would be great."
"You don't even need it." Lorelai told them. "You both have garage door openers in your cars."
"That is true. Plus, if we don't know the code, that means that no one can hound us for the code, allowing them to visit."
"I like it!" Rory smiled.
"We didn't even tell Honor. We didn't want her being hounded for the code by your parents." Emily told him.
"That works. And Honor knows the visitation plan anyway." Logan commented.
"Will someone at least call Rosalinda, and give her the new code?" Rory asked. "I don't want her being locked out."
"You guys should think about giving Rosalinda some time off. Mom and I are both here, and I don't mind helping with the house work. You don't need an extra person in your way." Lorelai spoke up.
"Rosalinda is family, and she loves being here. She is only here every other day, and I already told her that she can help with the baby as much as she wants to. She even offered to be our Nanny."
"I thought that you weren't planning to get a Nanny?"
"We aren't. Rosalinda has 5 kids of her own, and 3 grandkids, and none of them live nearby. She considers Logan and I her own kids, and I could never deny my child the opportunity to be loved by someone that cares about them. The more love a child has, the better that child turns out. I had the whole of Stars Hollow, and look at how great I turned out."
"Rory makes a good point." Richard commented.
"Rosalinda has today off, but I told her that we would text her when she's able to come visit us in the hospital. So if one of you guys could make sure that she gets the new code, I would really appreciate it."
"I will text her right now." Richard said as there was a knock at the door.
"I'll get that." Emily told them, rising from her seat, and heading out of the room.
"Are you guys ready to go?" Lorelai asked as she finished her coffee.
"We are. The question is, are you ready?" Logan asked.
"I've been ready since you guys told me that you're pregnant."
"Rory, Honor is here. She said that she just wanted to wish you luck before you leave." Emily said, leading Honor into the dining room.
"Hey guys, sorry I know I said that I would text first, but I figured that you haven't given birth yet, so I wanted to run over really fast so I could hug you goodbye and wish you luck. Something is wrong with your locks though, because the code didn't work when I put it in." Honor told them.
"Luke changed it last night. We talked about giving it to you, but we didn't want you hounded by nosy people, demanding to visit. It's nothing against you of course, because we really do like you and Josh, but we thought that it might be easier if we gave you plausible deniability." Lorelai told her.
"Oh! Well, I can fully understand that. I should have Luke come change the code at my house too, once we get my parents out."
"Did you guys find a place yet?" Emily asked.
"No. And it's so stupid because they have a place here in the city, they just want a new one. Maybe one that is closer."
"Well make sure that they know that if they decide to buy a new place, it's all on them, because I'm not handing out any money." Rory told her. "And if they aren't going to be living in the apartment that they already have, I'll be putting it on the market in 50 days, so they had better get all of their stuff out of it."
"And this is exactly why I love you so much!" Honor said walking across the room, and wrapping her arms around Rory. "You call me if you need anything, alright?"
"I will."
"You too little brother." Honor said, moving to her brother next.
"Don't I always?"
"And let me know when I can come by the hospital. I promise to leave the parentals with a babysitter."
"I'll text you." Lorelai told her.
"Thank you! You guys should get going. Don't you have to be there by 8?" Honor asked.
"Logan is playing with fire." Rory told her.
"Oh geez!"
"He turned the monitors off, just to piss Paris off."
"Oh Lord!" Lorelai sighed. "It's your funeral, kid!"
"That is exactly what I told him!"
"Well good luck with that one! I love you both, but I am NOT going to defend you when Paris explodes on you. That crazy chick is terrifying!"
"Eh, I can handle Paris." Logan shrugged. "I've survived our parents for all these years, so I think I can handle a moody Paris."
"You guys need to get out of here, so I'm not going to keep you. I love you both! I can't wait to finally meet Ayribella!"
"Are you at least going to say goodbye to her first?" Logan asked.
"Don't be stupid, of course I am!" Honor told him, moving back to Rory, and crouching down next to her, placing her hands on Rory's stomach. "Auntie Honor loves you sweet girl! I can't wait to finally meet you later today!"
"Did you just feel her kick you?" Rory asked.
"I did! I'm her favorite! That just made my day!"
"Get out of here." Logan said, holding his arm out to help Honor get back up.
"Don't be so jealous. It doesn't look good on you." Honor smirked, then placed a quick kiss on Logan's cheek before turning to leave.
"You guys should get going." Emily told them.
"Mom is right." Lorelai agreed as she got up from her chair, and grabbed her empty coffee cup off the table.
"Rory, don't you worry about anything with work. I am going to stop by the office this morning, and spend some time with Doyle. I will make sure that everything runs smoothly while you guys are out." Richard spoke up, as he stood from his chair, and began moving around the table.
"Thank you Grandpa. We really appreciate it." Rory said as Logan helped her up
"Your grandfather is really excited to learn a new business." Emily told her.
"Well if anyone can run that place better than Logan and I can, it would be Grandpa."
"We love you, Honey. You call or text if you need anything, alright?" Emily instructed as she pulled her granddaughter into a hug.
"We will. Thank you for being here."
"We wouldn't dream of being anywhere else." Richard said as he hugged Rory next.
"Hey, have they left yet?" Luke asked, walking into the room with Rocky at his heels.
"Not yet." Logan answered, crouching down next to his wife. "Rocky, come say goodbye." Rocky eagerly trotted over to Logan, and licked his cheek as Logan pet his dog. "When we get back, you'll have a little sister to protect, alright? You be good while we're gone. No more holes in my backyard."
"Bye buddy." Rory smiled, reaching down to pet the dog.
"Thanks for taking him out Luke." Logan said as he stood back up.
"It's not a problem. Rocky is very well behaved. I don't mind it at all. You guys drive safe, alright. Call me when you want lunch."
"We will. Thanks Dad. I love you." Rory said, reaching out to hug Luke. "Thank you for being here. It really means a lot to me."
"I wouldn't miss this for the world." Luke told her, hugging his daughter tight. "I love you both. I can't wait to be a grandpa!"
"You better not let Mom hear you say that." Rory laughed as Luke moved to give Logan a quick hug.
"Yeah, she definitely hates the 'G word'." Luke chuckled. "Oh, before I forget, April texted this morning. She asked me to give you her love, and wants to know if it's ok for her to come visit on Saturday. She said that she doesn't want to be in the way, so she will only stay for one night, and will even get a hotel."
"Tell April that she is only welcome here if she's comes on Friday, so she can celebrate Cinco De Mayo with me, so we can stuff our faces full of tacos."
"YES! Baby's first Cinco De Mayo party!" Lorelai cheered. "I approve! Tacos and margaritas all night!"
"Lorelai, I don't think it's really appropriate for you guys to be drinking margaritas all night, with a newborn in the house. Plus, you do remember that Rory can't drink while breastfeeding, don't you?"
"Um hello, it's called virgin margaritas! What are you, new or something?!"
"Just please do me a favor, and don't invite any other guests." Rory told her.
"Oh hell no! It'll only be the 7 of us. Well, 8 with Ayribella. No one else is allowed!"
"You can invite Honor and Josh, and maybe Blake. But literally no one else."
"Absolutely NO drama." Logan agreed. "I won't allow it."
"I promise! It'll be a Gilmore only Cinco De Mayo. With the possible exception of the Rothchilds."
"Thank you." Rory told her.
"Do you guys have everything that you need? Do you need me to take anything to the car for you?" Luke asked.
"I just need to grab the bag by the stairs." Logan told him.
"I'll get it, and meet you guys out at the car."
"Let's go!" Lorelai told them,
"What's with the big bag?" Rory asked.
"It's my Lorelai survival bag. Snacks, madlibs, crosswords, playing cards, a couple games, and a few other surprises that I might have stuffed in there for later on."
"Ok then." Logan commented. "Let's get this show on the road."
* ~ * 30 Minutes later Columbia Presbyterian Hospital * ~ *
"You're late!" Paris said as Logan, led Rory and Lorelai through the electronic doors, entering the Labor and Delivery wing of the hospital.
"Only by a few minutes." Lorelai spoke up.
"15 isn't a few."
"But I brought you a present." Logan smirked, holding out a gift bag.
"What is it? It had better not explode."
"Why don't you open it and find out." Paris glared at Logan before finally reaching into the bag and pulling out a small black package.
"I brought you back your leash. Your babysitting efforts are no longer needed."
"You'd better watch it Huntzberger, or your balls will be hanging on my office wall."
"Don't hate the player Paris, hate the game."
"Oh I can hate the player all I want to." Paris told him. "How many crazies should I expect to be joining you three today?"
"Zero!" Lorelai spoke up, causing Paris to raise her eyebrows in shock.
"And how in the world did you manage that one?! I expected at least 10-20 psycho Huntzbergers with their noses pressed to the door windows, fighting to get in here today."
"We only told a few people about the induction, and we put Emily in charge of visitation. I'll be texting Luke, Honor, and my parents to let them know when they can stop by for a few minutes, but otherwise, no one else will be allowed to visit us in the hospital. Everyone else will have to make an appointment after Rory goes home."
"And you got Logan's psycho parents to agree to that?!"
"They aren't getting a choice!"
"Especially not with everything that we just found out." Logan added.
"Yeah, I heard a little about that. That's just wrong! You should make sure that your Dad gets tested."
"I'm pretty sure that with all the blood work that he's had done lately, he's probably fine. But even if he's not, I want absolutely NOTHING to do with it! That sick bastard deserves whatever he gets!"
"Come on, I got you the VIP suite." Paris told them.
"Thank you Paris." Rory smiled, reaching out and grabbing onto one of Paris' arms. "I'm happy that my best friend gets to be here today."
"Hey, it's the least that I can do. You were there for me when my twins were born. They are really excited for your baby. They drew you some pictures, and got you a present. I already put them in your room. Whenever you are ready for them to come visit, let me know and I'll bring them over." Paris told her, as they walked down the hall."
"You guys are normally welcome at any time, but if you could give me a few days to adjust to being a new mom, I would really appreciate it."
"No, I get it. I think that's a smart idea. You just let me know when you're ready."
"Luke changed the codes on our door locks last night. Logan and I don't even know what the new code is. Anyone who comes over has to get by my Grandmother."
"That's genius!"
"I know, right?! They didn't even give Honor the code. We all have plausible deniability. Nobody can harass us. Mom pointed out that Logan and I don't need the code, because we have a garage door opener in the car."
"You shouldn't keep those in your car. You should keep it in your purse. You don't want some idiot stealing your car, going through your glove box to find your registration, and then helping themselves to your home."
"That's a good point." Logan spoke up.
"That's why they pay me the big bucks!" Paris told them. "Anyway, you've got the VIP suite, at the far end of the unit. You have the largest room, and all the best amenities. Plus, you'll have security both outside your door, and at the unit doors. They should be here within the hour."
"Did you get them from HPG?" Logan asked.
"I did. Doyle said Carlos will be here this morning with 6 for this unit and other 6 to patrol the hospital grounds. He also put a few on your neighborhood, just in case."
"I didn't even think about getting security."
"And that is exactly why the best thing that you've ever done is hire Doyle as Rory's assistant. He's already got a press release ready to go, whenever you are ready for it to hit the papers.
"Well hopefully the media doesn't get wind of us being here. I would really rather wait a few weeks for that to go out, than to do it right away."
"Well, luckily you and I know a bunch of different ways out of this place, incase things go south. Doyle and I have everything handled. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"Thank you Paris. And tell Doyle that we said thank you as well." Rory told her.
"You guys did a good job telling everyone that your baby won't be here until summer, so hopefully no one knows any different. And the entire hospital staff knows not to talk to anybody.
"I'm pretty sure that this doesn't need to be asked, but I feel like I should ask you anyway . . ." Logan started as Paris opened the door to the VIP suite, and stepped aside to let the trio enter. "The last time that we were here . . ."
"You know that both Patrice and her psycho BFF were both fired. You guys have lawsuits against both of them."
"But whatever about her friends?"
"What friends?" Paris laughed. "That crazy bitch doesn't have any friends! You have no idea how many people came out, filing complaints about that woman, after she was canned. You guys did a really great thing, getting rid of her. My entire L&D staff thank you."
"I don't want Rory to have to deal with any blow back from that drama."
"I can assure you with 100% confidence that it won't happen. I hand-picked your attending nurses myself. The only people allowed anywhere near this suite have already signed a non-disclosure agreement with both HPG and the hospital. Very few people will be allowed anywhere near this room without both of our permission. I borrowed Veronica from the clinic for the day, and she said that she is willing to be here as long as you guys are in patient. Veronica has never worked in L&D before, but I know that you are most comfortable with her, and that she is a quick learner and will do a good job. I've also got Kimber, Jamila, Morgan, and Wendy assigned to you. They will be taking different shifts, but they are my best nurses, and will take good care of you."
"You stole Veronica from the clinic? Who the heck is replacing her?!"
"Carrie Anne is there with Doctor Greenlee. Doctor Thomas is going to stop by there to help out tomorrow, and I told them to call me if they need anything, and I will make myself available. You guys can get comfortable in here for a few minutes. Rory, I need you to change into the gown on the bed. Take everything off. I'll be back in a few minutes to get your IV started, and get you up on the monitors."
"I can start the IV if you have the kit in here. She needs the petite catheter."
"Not my first rodeo Logan. I have everything I need all laid out. You aren't working today. You are a first time dad, so you need to just sit back and let the rest of us do our jobs. You just focus on your wife, and being there for her, alright?"
"Paris, you know that I can't just sit back and do nothing. I am perfectly capable of helping."
"Logan, Paris is right. You need to turn off doctor mode, and focus on just being the husband right now." Lorelai spoke up.
"Let me do the IV, so I know that it's done right, and then I'll back off. I promise." Logan told her.
"Do I need to get that in writing?" Paris asked, causing Logan to shoot her a look. "After you start the IV, you are going to sit down and be there for Rory and your daughter. I will lock you out of the computer if I have to. Today is just as much your day, as it is Rory's and your daughter's. You need to just sit back and experience becoming a Dad. Let me take care of everything else. I have everything 100% handled. Lorelai, why don't you go help Rory get changed."
"This doesn't look like a normal hospital gown." Rory said, picking up the black and pink silk gown that was laying on the bed.
"I custom ordered it for you when I found out about your pregnancy. I have several of them in the closet for you. You're my best friend, and I wanted you to be comfortable."
"Paris . . . Thank you. For everything."
"Are these fuzzy socks?" Lorelai asked, picking up a pile of fluff from the bed.
"And they have grips on the bottom. They are the most comfortable socks I've ever worn." Paris answered.
"Unfair! I want some!"
"Check the purple bag next to the couch."
"Does that say Nanna on it?"
"It's mostly from the kids, but I added a few things for you. There are bags for Logan and Rory too."
"Paris, thank you. You are so sweet to think of me." Lorelai told her. "I'll open my present as soon as I get Rory changed."
"I don't want to rush you or anything, but I do need to get the induction started. In case you guys don't know this already, first children often take a while, so the sooner we get started, the sooner you can have your baby in your arms."
"Rory, bathroom! Move it!" Lorelai demanded, setting her bag down on the couch, then heading for the bathroom door across the room.
"I'll be back in a few minutes." Paris told them, then headed for the door.
"Hey Paris?" Logan started, following his friend out of the room.
"What's up?"
"Thank you for taking such great care of Rory. I know that I haven't always been the easiest person to get along with, but I really appreciate everything that you've done for us. We couldn't have made it through everything without you. This pregnancy, and the last 9 years. You are an amazing friend."
"Wow Huntzberger, I've never seen you so sappy with anyone except your wife."
"Come on Paris. You know that you are one of my best friends. You've been there for me, even when you thought that I didn't deserve it. You, of all people, know what a complete failure I am capable of being, but you still stuck by me, and pushed me through school, and the last decade of my life. I've never thanked you for that, but it really means a lot to me. You might be Rory's best friend, but you are more of a second sister to me, and I'm really lucky to have you in my life."
"You are completely terrified." Paris smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Bad ass Doctor Huntzberger who thinks he is invincible, is completely terrified."
"Really Paris? I'm trying to say thank you, and apologize for being such a pain in your ass."
"Admit it. You're scared shitless."
"Paris . . ." Logan said again, as she stared him down. "Ok, you win. You are absolutely right. I am completely scared out of my mind."
"Thank you! I actually expected you to be."
"Gee, thanks!"
"It's fine Logan. All first time Dads are terrified. A lot of second and third time Dads are as well. There is no shame in admitting it."
"Collin told me that he was scared shitless when is daughter was born too."
"It's completely normal, and expected. But I promise you, everything is going to be ok. I've got everything 150% under control, alright? All you need to do is just sit back and enjoy your last few moments as a family of two, because pretty soon you are going to have a beautiful little baby girl in your arms, and you are going to be completely head over heels in love with her. This is your day, and I want you to enjoy it, alright?" Paris told him, watching as a smile started to spread across Logan's face.
"Thank you Paris, I needed that." Logan told her, reaching out, and pulling her into a hug.
"Don't go getting used to seeing my soft side, because I'm still me, and you know damn well that I will hang your balls on my wall if you dare cross me."
"I know. But I really appreciate you going easy on me today." Logan chuckled as he let go of her.
"Like I said before, this is your day, and you deserve to enjoy it. Rory is my only patient today. Unless an emergency comes up, I'll be here with you guys all day."
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know. But Rory is my best friend. I couldn't not be here. You guys are family. I am just as excited for this baby as you are. I'll give you plenty of space after Ayribella is born, but Aunty Paris needs some baby snuggles too."
"Deal!"
"Go open your present, and get Rory's IV started. I need to do a few things, but I'll be back in a few minutes to get the induction started."
"I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. Thank you for kicking my ass when I needed it."
"Kicking your ass is my favorite pass time."
"Yes, I know." Logan chuckled.
"Go help your wife. I'll be back." Paris told him, then turned and walked away.
Alright, so this dream comes with a warning . . .
Anyone who is a fan of Donald Trump, you need to stop reading right now, because this might completely offend you. But for the rest of us, you will completely fall over laughing. I posted the whole thing to my Facebook page because it was so freaking funny. My BFF who was in the dream with me thinks that it is the funniest thing that he's heard in a really long time, and wants there to be more. He told me that I need to go back to sleep. Which, I actually did, right after it happened, but the epic dream was gone.
This is all copied directly from my Facebook post.
This is kind of all over the place and a lot of stuff happened in the dream that I don't even mention but it was so funny and messed up, and these are pretty much the highlights.
I was sitting at school and the entire grade level is forced to go to this assembly so we are packed into this auditorium and all of a sudden Donald Trump walks in and starts blabbing. Everyone around me is annoyed, none of us want to be there, and a bunch of us pull our phones out and try to secretly text message our parents begging them to please come get us, but we keep getting busted by the teachers who force us to put our phones away. And this entire thing is funny to me because I didn't even have a cell phone in high school.
So anyway, we suffer through the whole thing, of course making snide comments the entire time, and when we finally get to leave for the day, I am suddenly approached and told that I am under arrest and being held for investigation. Being the goody goody smart ass I was back in high school I start cracking up, asking what the hell they think they are holding me for. They tell me that they have a copy of some tweet I sent out in response to a picture of Trump in some kind of leather pants, with a comment about child pornography in regards to the situation in the picture. (I don't even have a Twitter account so the entire thing is just ridiculous.) The entire situation is of course funny to me, and I'm escorted to some room which is actually some randomly huge building, where a ton of other people from my grade are, who are also being held. I text message my mom who worked for a law office for a really long time to ask her to please bring the lawyers and come get me the hell out of there.
As I'm waiting I start walking around and there are not only a ton of other students, all who completely despise Trump and are both laughing and annoyed at the current situation, but also a bunch of either secret service or fbi agents or something who are babysitting us. Like all of us students who are being held, our babysitters are also annoyed by the whole thing and think it's completely ridiculous. I mention to one of them "Hey what do you think of having Biden for your new boss?" And the guy responds with "Thank God! It's about damn time!". I crack up along with everyone around me and we start joking around with the guy. A few minutes later I spot my best friend Mikey with one of his friends that I recognize from middle school, and I'm like "bestie!" Mikey is being held captive too and we are both super annoyed yet amused so we walk around running our mouths with everyone else, waiting for our parents while also apparently waiting to be questioned on the random things that we've said about Trump's moronicness.
So I'm standing in a room talking to one of the babysitters about what's going on, asking if president Biden knows about the giant group of high schoolers being held captive by Trump, for no reason at all, and the guy tells me yeah, Biden has been briefed on the situation and he's trying to get information and figure out what to do. So I'm like "Hey let's all call the white house and flood the phone lines complaining about this crap so they know the truth about what is happening to us. Of course no one knows the number so I'm like "duh it's on the website!" All of a sudden there are all kinds of reporters and stuff that show up outside the building, and everyone being held captive is talking to them through the windows, and I'm told that my Mom and attorney are there somewhere, so I'm wandering around trying to find them.
As a bunch of other people are trying to find the phone number for the white house, suddenly Trump bursts into the room and starts rifling through a desk and book shelves muttering about needing a scope stick. Being the big mouth smart ass I am, I of course ask "What the hell do you need a scope stick for unless you are going to analy rape someone with it!?". The dude turns around glaring daggers at me, seriously pissed off and asks "do you really want to be throwing THAT word around right now?!" And I'm like "What word RAPE? Yeah I do! What the hell do you need a scope stick for unless you are planning to analy rape someone with it!?" So the dude is glaring at me and everyone around me goes deadly silent watching me smirk at this idiot and we are all biting our tongues trying to not die laughing, and you can see Trump's face getting redder and redder by the second and the stream pouring out of his ears. So then I ask him "do you even know what a scope stick does?" So of course my big mouth makes the situation even worse yet more epicly hysterical and everyone is just watching, waiting for Trump to completely blow and scream at me. So then of course I ask him again, "What do you need a scope stick for unless you are going to analy rape someone?" The dude loses it. He throws down everything in his hands and he's completely furious and looks like he's going to attack me, so we are all smirking and waiting to see what he does, and the cry baby storms out of the room. Everyone immediately bursts out laughing and starts high fiving me and telling me how awesome that little scene was, and "omg I can't believe that you said that to him!" And I'm just like "What it's completely true." Even our babysitters think the entire thing is hysterical and can't believe that I stood up to the cheeto like that.
And then of course my kids came in fighting and woke me up.
That dream was so crazy messed up but completely hysterical that I just had to share it. I was literally cracking up when my kids woke me up, and really bummed that they ended the insanity in my head. LOL I told my BFF that I will totally share a "jail cell" with him, as long as he'll sit there cracking jokes with me so we can make the entire situation even worse for ourselves. Lmao
Anyway, I hope you all get as big of a laugh out of my dream as I have today. I'll let you know if there are any updates. LOL