Chapter 6:
Nell's Diner was quieter than usual, it had been a slow night. She was sat twisting the rings on her left hand as she told herself she would wait another ten minutes before she would give up for the night. Saffron had made about $5 after all the coffees she had bought that allowed her to stay in the café. She lit up a cigarette distractedly as she thought about how she had caught Willow in a lie and now she seemed to be avoiding her. She exhaled and sighed as she decided she would have to talk to Willow, maybe apologise for trusting her stupid gut feelings over her friend. She rubbed her left eye as it had started to water from the smoke as she looked up to see a blurry, leather-clad vampire stood in front of her.
"Either pay for a reading or get out, you're scaring away my customers, Spike" She said coldly, as she dabbed at her eye with a napkin. Spike looked around at the empty diner and raised his eyebrows at her. He sat down with a loud, exaggerated thud and reached into his pocket. "Spike. I said-" She cut herself off as Spike took out a crumpled $10 and chucked it on the table.
"Do me" He smirked cockily. She rolled her eyes and took a drag of her cigarette, taking her time. She really didn't want to spend time with him, not only had he been rude but he had also tried to kill her and her friends, multiple times. Still, she reached for the battered note and pocketed it quickly. She kept smoking as he watched her closely. "God, what is that smell" Spike sniffed the air in an exaggerated way and looked at her "Ugh, it's you! Been for a roll in the hay with the bionic boy then?"
"That's none of your business, Spike" Saff snapped as she stubbed out her cigarette and glared at him. She thought back to the day she had had with Graham, they had been for a picnic in the park; he had said he'd chosen it because she couldn't possibly get kicked out of there. They had been dating a couple of weeks now and it was refreshing that he was such a gentleman, but he hadn't seemed to initiate anything more than a safe kiss. He smirked as he watched her frown while thinking and shuffling the cards. "Split the pack, William" She smiled sweetly, and offered the pack to him.
"Don't bloody call me that"
"I have to, you need your given name for it to work" She explained, as she shook the pack in front of him impatiently. He reached a hand to split the pack and put his half of the deck down on the table. Saff put down her pack of cards and picked the top one and laid it face-up in front of Spike on the table.
"Death" She said simply as Spike snorted and lit his own cigarette.
"Well I could have told you that without the cards, love"
"No, Spike. It's not always that literal…" She said, not sure whether he wanted her interpretation or not.
"Go on then, I paid you good money for this. I could have bought some more smokes for the same amount" He said pointing his finger and banging it on the table to make his point.
"Death can mean a big change. It's-it's a major arcana which focuses on the wider picture, in this case it's the end of a major phase or aspect of your life, or, um, unlife. You're about to undertake a significant transformation, you need to embrace this transition and not hold onto the past" She finished, feeling a bit drained after letting the voice in her head take over and do the reading for her. Spike stared at her for a while, taking in everything she had said. He seemed to be contemplating recent events, maybe thinking about the bigger picture and what this change could mean for him.
"What a load of bollocks" He finally said.
"You came to me! You asked and I've told you, Spike. I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear but it's not bollocks" She finished, in irritation.
"Look, I'm, uh, I shouldn't have said that" He admitted quickly, looking down at the card instead of her disappointed face. "And, well, you do help your cousin with the slaying crap. Hitting that big nasty took guts and-" Spike tailed off at the end as he realised he seemed to be babbling, which wasn't something he noticed himself doing, not for centuries at least. What was wrong with him. She's just a human. She's so much more. Give over, love's bloody bitch.
"Was that an apology from the big bad? I'm honoured" She laughed, but he could tell she appreciated what he had said and this made him smile back at her, only slightly.
"Don't get bloody used to it" He pointed at her, semi-menacingly, before being sincere again, "I know it's not complete bollocks, Dru used to use the cards" He conceded, not meeting her eyes as he sat with her for a while. "You have the sight, don't you love?" He asked as he looked back to her face, she didn't know why she nodded, she hadn't told anyone else properly. Spike wasn't part of the others though, she needed to tell someone, or she would explode, and that was a genuine fear in Sunnydale. Spike watched as she looked uncomfortable, she hasn't told anyone he decided to himself. He didn't know what it meant that she had admitted it to him, but it made him feel hopeful at this revelation. They sat in silence, both thinking at a mile a minute before Spike finally got up to leave. She felt herself wanting to ask him to stay.
xoxoxo
Xander, Anya, Willow and Saffron were gathered in Xander's basement room where he was attempting to teach Anya how to play poker. Saffron was sat away from the table on a comfy chair in the corner.
"I implore you, Neesah, blessed goddess of chance and fortune, heed my call. Send to me the heart I desire."
"You know, magic at the poker table qualifies as cheating."
"Anything counts as cheating to you when you're not winning, Xand" Saff pointed out as she started to file her nails from her spot in the corner.
"Hey! You're on timeout, SP. You don't get to talk on timeout" He pointed at her jokingly.
"That wasn't magic, anyway. I was praying. Two, please." Willow concluded, seemingly ignoring Saffron from her spot in the corner.
"I shouldn't even be on timeout, I can't help if you're all terrible at bluffing" She complained, "I'm just naturally good at this game"
"Five." Anya said, also ignoring Saffron as she tried to play the game.
"An, I keep telling you, four's the max, and only if you have an ace."
"OK, four."
"Let's see the ace." Xander asked as Saff switched off from the game she had been banned from playing. She knew when all of them were being deceptive, she thought back to one of the lines she had read online 'Empaths must trust their instinct, many can spot deception in others with no obvious tells'. She thought back to those times she had known people were lying but had no reason for why she felt that way. Now it had gotten her in trouble with Willow too. She wished she had kept her mouth shut, she had decided to eat her feelings as she noticed the boxes of nutrition bars Xander had in his room.
"Can I grab one of these?" She asked, getting up from her 'timeout corner' and over to an open box.
"Sure! Cherry berry is the winning flavour" Xander said excitedly before he tried to convince the others to try one too. Saff took the wrapper off and took a big bite into the bar, before gagging and having to spit it out.
"Winner of what? Worst flavour of the year award 5 fucking years running?!" She complained as she grabbed her bottle of water and drank as much as she could to get rid of the taste.
"Wish that Buff could've made it. This three-hand poker is not quite the game"
"Well it would be four if you'd let me play" Saff mumbled, still sore from being accused of cheating.
"Must be with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking-new boyfriend"
"Yes, we've enjoyed spanking" Anya said loudly, as Xander looked mortified.
"Good to know, An" Saffron laughed as talk turned to the Initiative.
"Well, the thing is, I think Riley is OK, in an oafish kind of way, but am I the only one with a question mark over his head about this lnitiative thing?"
"Well, they do seem to fall in the good-guy camp"
"I'm convinced there's something dodgy about them, but don't tell Graham I said that" Saffron shrugged, "I don't trust big secret military organisations"
"So, he's boyfriend material, but not-to-be-trusted-material?" Willow asked, which seemed to be the first thing she'd said to her that evening. Saffron didn't know what to say to that, she really liked Graham, but he hadn't even committed to her like that anyway and she couldn't get past her strong beliefs about secret organisations, so maybe it was for the best.
xoxoxo
The Bronze was buzzing with people and the music was lively as old friends caught up and some people were making new friends. Saffron was wearing leather trousers and a plum-coloured halter top as she stood with Anya and Willow near the bar. She was drinking her vodka-cranberry slowly as she decided how best to approach the subject with Willow. She had been nervous all day, she didn't like it when something was up with her good friends. They had been there almost two hours already and every time she had tried to ask her, Willow had thought she'd seen Buffy and had rushed into a crowd.
"Maybe we should go" Xander had mentioned, much to Willows disappointment. She had wanted it to be like old times, and Saff understood her feelings. She had felt distant from her cousin recently too.
"Here she comes… with Riley and some other guys" She finished with even more disappointment as they all walked over. Saff smiled at Graham as he walked over to her side and kissed her on the lips quickly as some of the other guys cheered. Saffron looked embarrassed but Graham whispered to her reassuringly and held her waist and she seemed to light up as she smiled at him thankfully.
"Hope you don't mind us joining" Riley said pleasantly to the others, "You've met Graham, this is Forrest, that's Kevin, and that's Jay in the back" He introduced the team.
"Some of you have met him a lot more than others" The one called Forrest leered at Saffron suggestively, and then laughed nastily. Saffron didn't like him, something wasn't right about him. She was about to tell him what she thought about him but didn't get chance.
"Back off, Forrest" Graham warned. Saffron whispered in his ear as he ushered her protectively to the bar to buy them both drinks just as Riley walked up behind them to order the rest of the group theirs. They had their drinks and Saff stayed off to the corner with Graham. A slow song had come on and Graham took this as an opportunity to offer his hand to dance with her. He had his hands safely on her waist as she placed her arms around his neck and lay her head on his chest. Saffron appreciated the way he was so respectful, and it was so different from the other boyfriends she had had.
"Saffron, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked and Saff lifted her head up.
"Go on then" She laughed at the face he pulled when she replied and leaned her head up to kiss him. They kissed for a long time, and Saff moved to run her hands through his hair, it felt like they were the only people in the room as they kissed until they had to stop for breath. They smiled at each other as she said she was going to check on Buffy and the others, and he went to chat to Riley.
"Things going well with Graham, Saff?" Buffy laughed as she came up to her and Willow, still breathless from their kiss.
"The well-ness is off the charts" She beamed and seemed to glow with happiness and she took her drink off the table and finished it off.
"So, who did you wanna invite?" Buffy had a sudden thought and turned to Will.
"What?" Willow looked panic stricken as Saffron watched with interest.
"You said you wanted to invite someone" Buffy pressed.
"No, not- No one. I mean, I meant a hypothetical someone, which is to say no one"
"Yeah she meant if we'd known it was a big group event we would have invited the guys from the dorm or something" Saff added to try to help Willow, knowing there must be a reason for her lying. Buffy shrugged, apologised again and ran off to find Riley. Saffron turned to an uncomfortable looking Willow and decided that it was time for their chat.
"Come with me while I go for a fag?" She pleaded as she grabbed Willows hand and lead her out the door of the Bronze and into the cool air of the night. Saff couldn't find the lighter in any of her pockets and had to ask a stranger for a light before turning back to Willow.
"If Graham asks, you're the one who smokes" Saffron warned Willow who frowned but nodded seeing as Saff had just helped her with her excuse to Buffy.
"Won't he be able to tell, what with all the smooches?" Willow asked, as Saff smiled like she was the smartest person on the planet.
"Don't worry, I've got all bases covered babe" She smiled knowingly before adding sincerely, "Speaking of lying, I'm sorry for accusing you that day. It just seemed like you were hiding something"
"I-I was" Willow went as red as her hair and looked down at the floor.
"Is there anything you want to talk about? I'm, uh, here for you, Will" She looked at the floor herself as being sincere and serious was hard for her to do in front of others even though she cared so much for them, but tried her best for Willow.
"It's Tara."
"Tara?" Saff asked, suddenly worried about the shy girl.
"She's the someone"
"The… someone?"
"Yeah she's the who I've been spending time with and she's who I would have invited to the Bronze" Willow rushed as she had noticed the worry on Saff's face.
"Oh, Will! You worried me, I thought Tara was ill or cursed or something!" Saffron said, relieved. She added, "Hey congrats, babe! She seems sweet and she's very pretty" Saff winked at the end and Willow blushed.
"You, um, don't mind?"
"Of course not, hey we could double date!" she exclaimed as she took the final drag of her cigarette.
"I'm not really ready for the shouting it from the rooftops"
"Understandable. If anyone tries anything nasty, I'll deck them for you though. Or you could both totally turn them into frogs" Saffron felt protective of Will and hoped she was showing that she supported her.
"Deck?"
"Yeah, you know… It just means knock them out, or I'd at least go in for a slap then run away" Saffron joked at her useless combat skills, which made Willow smile. She really appreciated what Saff was doing for her and her eyes were watery as they hugged and Saff patted her back reassuringly. They moved out of their hug and Saff pulled some gum from her pocket and emptied the whole pack into her mouth and chewed quickly. She was determined to hide her habit from Graham, who was too clean-cut to know what a cigarette was in her mind. She smiled smugly at Will who smiled back and Saff linked her arms with Willow and they walked back into the Bronze together.
xoxoxo
Xander and Anya were sat on the sofa at Giles' house as Xander was trying to sell Giles some of his disgusting nutrition bars. Saff had already warned Giles not to buy any when she walked in that morning with a newspaper for Giles and some pastries. When Anya and Xander had arrived later on, Giles hadn't listened and decided to humour them.
"Just tell them to shove their bars where the sun don't shine, G!" Saff called from the kitchen where she was using Giles' new phone to talk to Graham as she looked through the cupboards for a decent snack.
"Hey! Xander needs to buy me pretty things" Anya called back.
"Buy your own pretty things, An" She replied, "Be a strong, independent ex-demon"
"A what?" Graham asked from the other end of the phone.
"Oh, nothing babe. It was the tv" She lied easily, she liked Anya and didn't want to give her away to the initiative. "How's work going?"
"Can't comment, you know that doll"
"Just testing you and well done, you passed! I'll tell your superiors you're a sterling soldier/agent/commando"
"You won't be talking to my superiors" He laughed at her attitude.
"Try and stop me" she replied cheekily.
"We already proved your combat skills are crap, uh, ma'am"
"Ma'am?" She questioned, not sure why he would call her that.
"Sorry that was a superior walking past. I have to go, there's fieldwo-" Graham was cut off as Saffron was distracted by a loud bang at the door as Spike rushed in dramatically, covered in a large blanket. She put her ear to the receiver again and noticed Graham had already gone. She shrugged and put the phone back in the dock and turned to listen to Spike's latest sob story. She walked over and stood near Giles and caught the rest of the conversation.
"And how is this our concern? You expressed the wish to have nothing more to do with us"
"Spike said that? That hurts." Xander joked, but Saffron did feel hurt after their meeting at the café she had thought her and Spike might have had an understanding of some kind. She cursed herself, of course they didn't, why would she even think that?
"I need help. And no cheek from you." He pointed to Xander, and avoided looking at Saffron all together, "Look. The buggers shot me in the back." He showed them his wound.
"Remind me. Why should I help you?" Giles pressed.
"Because you do that. You're the goody-good guys. You're the bloody freaking cavalry." Spike said, exasperated that he was having to beg for help.
"No, you can come up with a better answer than that. Why should I help you?" Giles asked, as Spike thought about it and ended up having to pay Giles back the money he had managed to get out of him. They had started to set up a chair and some equipment to try and get the bullet out of Spike. Saffron had sat with Anya on the sofa watching the guys sort everything out but she got up when she noticed Spike was still wearing his t-shirt.
"Take your top off, Spike" Saff told him as she pulled at the wrecked fabric as gently as she could.
"Ow, bloody hell I'll do it, I'll do it" He took it off and threw it over to her and she caught it and rolled her eyes.
"I was trying to help, you moron" she sulked and went back over to sit with Anya. She waited a while but got impatient as they all stared at whatever was embedded in Spike's back.
"It's blinking"
"I don't care if it's playing "Rock the Casbah" on the bloody jew's-harp. Get it out of me." Saff stifled a laugh as he said this and got up to look for herself. She took one look and knew what it was.
"Looks like a tracking device to me" Saff shrugged as Xander started to agree after his soldier brain kicked in from all those years ago. Giles told Saff to call Buffy and Willow and get them to come over, he was still getting used to his new phone.
"Hey Will, how's it going?"
"I spent the night at Tara's" she gushed, pleased she had someone to talk to.
"Sweet! I wondered where you went last night" She laughed, "I should have known, I'm guessing Buff's not in then?"
"Just missed her, she's been beeped away by her new buds"
"That's all right, we need you anyway – come to Giles' asap" She told her before saying bye and putting down the phone.
xoxoxo
Willow came and performed a spell to block the device from the Initiative while Giles got rid of the tracking device after a lot of complaining by Spike. He had downed the entire bottle of Brandy as they extracted the homing beacon and flushed it down the toilet. Willow had left to go to the magic shop to replenish the supplies that she had just used on the spell for Spike, Giles had pressed some notes into her hand as she walked past. She tried to protest but he whispered it was Spike's money and Willow felt easier about taking it as she skipped out of the door.
"Must have been a great night" Saff smiled to herself as she watched her friend happily leave Giles' in the best mood she'd seen her in a long time. Well, since Oz. Spike looked over at her as he had heard what she had said but didn't really see the significance so he went back to feeling sorry for himself and delving in Giles' liquor cabinet. Giles had excused himself as the make-shift operation he had just performed had tired him out, so he went for a lie down muttering about Spike all the way up the stairs. Xander and Anya left soon after, leaving Spike and Saff alone together downstairs. Saff was looking in the mirror, making sure that her makeup was okay after another day of action in Sunnydale. She was surprised to see her makeup was intact as she then checked her outfit, she was wearing light blue jeans with rips in the knees and her t-shirt was loose and The Clash was emblazoned on the chest in big letters, it was faded but not enough so it couldn't be read.
"Do you even listen to them, pet?" He scoffed, motioning to her t-shirt as he took another swig of brandy.
"Yeah" She replied, "Since I was a kid" not feeling the need to prove herself to him. Her Dad had used to play old punk and rock songs in their car when they would drive around when she was young, and it had sparked her love for all sorts of music. He looked at her with interest, wanting to ask more but knowing she probably didn't want to talk about her time in England. He wanted her to keep talking to him.
"Drink?" he asked as he held the bottle out to her and she took the bottle from him and took a large gulp and smiled at him as a thanks, handing the bottle back to him. They sat in silence, sharing the bottle for a while. Saff was enjoying herself, she hadn't felt this comfortable in a while, all the emotions she could feel where her own and she was content sitting with Spike. She then sighed audibly as her thoughts turned to Graham, she wasn't sure how long she could keep up pretending she didn't smoke, she felt like she was always lying to him in some way.
"Alright, pet?" Spike asked, and he appeared to be sincere.
"Just thinking about, uh, Graham" She said, not really sure why she told him. This stung Spike, as he didn't want to hear about the Bionic boy, he had named him this because her commando boyfriend seemed too perfect. Like some bloody robot.
"Oh yeah? He need his batteries replacing?" Spike rolled his eyes and took a long drink and finished the bottle off.
"No, I haven't been totally honest with him. Like I haven't told him I smoke" Saff looked embarrassed she had told Spike.
"What? He can't go near smoke or his circuits will short?" Spike said dryly, not hiding his contempt for her boyfriend.
"But what if he chucks me? He's, uh, nice" She said, wondering why she was talking to Spike about this. Maybe it was the drink.
"Tell him. Tell him straight away, honesty's the best policy and all that, isn't that what all you Scoobies fight for?" Spike said a little bit too quickly.
"Well mostly we fight demons because they're usually trying to kill us" Saffron replied thoughtfully.
"If he can't accept you for who you are, you're best finding someone who can, love" Spike said pointing his finger to emphasise what he was saying. He meant this genuinely and wished it could be him, although he left this unsaid. Saffron took a cigarette from her pack and looked for a lighter in her pocket, she groaned as she noticed she didn't have it.
"Can I borrow your light?" She asked, seeing as Spike seemed to be in a decent mood. He looked out of the window as if he wanted to join her, but the sun was still up so he just passed her the lighter before walking back over to Giles' liquor cabinet.
Saff was enjoying her cigarette as she caught the last rays of sunshine of the day on her face but stopped dead when she saw a familiar figure walking towards her. Graham. She looked down at her cigarette and dramatically threw it into a bush and wafted herself hopelessly to get rid of the smell, before turning to smile at him when he had gotten closer.
"Oh happy day, my soldier boy is back from the ranks!" She called, dabbing at her eyes dramatically and pretending she was crying with happiness, as he walked over to her giving her a winning smile. It probably has won awards. The thought made her smile almost as much as his reply.
"I told you I'd come back for you, doll" He joked back, knowing it made her smile when he continued her pretence. He liked her smile.
"How come you're here, Gray?" She asked, dropping her act.
"I was in the area, thought I'd drop in on my favourite girl" Graham smiled at her warmly as he moved in to kiss her, but she backed away and bumped into Giles' front door as her back was flush to it. Graham frowned and stepped towards her as she was at the door.
What the pair didn't realise was that Spike was listening from the other side of the door and had scoffed audibly at everything Graham had said. He had jumped when he heard her lean awkwardly against the door and thought he should probably move away, but morbid curiosity was keeping him there.
"What's wrong, baby?" Graham asked, concerned for his girlfriend as she usually seemed to like kissing him.
"God, alright the jig's up" Saff rolled her eyes, "I smoke alright? Happy?" She crossed her arms, feeling like she had disappointed him as he was all about the healthy commando life. She looked up at him as he hadn't said anything and noticed a hint of a smile on his lips.
"I'm indifferent" He said, she took this as a disappointment and sighed sadly, expecting him to just turn and walk away, "But if it's a habit of yours, although a terrible one, I can live with it" He said as he leaned down slightly to peck her lips quickly. Saff smiled, satisfied that Graham really did like her and she even took Spike's advice and it been helpful. She'd have to thank him later. Instead of pulling away completely from their kiss like they usually would, they stayed there with their faces close together, gazing into each others eyes each with a smile on their face. She put her hand on the back of his head and ran her black fingernails through his hair as they started to softly kiss with Saffron still flush to the door. They were there for a while, their kiss slowly becoming more passionate as they forgot where they were, this was not usually something Graham would do in public, but he soon realised he couldn't help himself when it came to her. A loud bang, courtesy of Spike, from inside Giles' house brought them back to reality and they sprung apart quickly, and breathlessly. They maintained eye contact with each other, and Graham silently grabbed her hand and they rushed off down the street to find somewhere a little comfier.