Arieen wanted to cackle at the sight of Waver clinging to the bridge. The poor kid was out of his depth, but he had asked for this personally. She wondered how he'd react if he knew she had Herne watching him from the shadows, ready to catch him if he fell.

Actually, she wondered if Rider sensed him. He had cast a glance towards the general area Herne was at.

Arieen had let out a slight gasp when she saw who the heroes fighting on the wharf were.

"Waver...clarify something for me... I thought the Grail only summoned dead heroes?"

"The books weren't really specific," said Waver, grateful for the distraction. "Just that it summoned legendary heroes. There's a chance that it can summon heroes that have yet to become known as heroes, but the odds of that are..."

"Is something the matter?" said Rider.

"It's nothing...just that I know for a bloody fact that one of those heroes isn't technically dead yet," said Arieen cryptically, glaring.

She was going to send Herne to confirm that Arturia Pendragon was still under the effects of the potion. This war had become far more complicated than she could have imagined.

At least her bitch of a mother hadn't been summoned. That would have been worse.

Without a second thought, Arieen pulled out her bag and began digging through it.

"What are you doing?" said Waver, baffled. This was hardly the time for her to do any make-up adjustments, or the place.

"Making sure I don't get recognized," grimaced Arieen. "I guarantee Saber will not be happy if they see me."

"Saber, eh? Is there some sort of long-hidden issue between you?" asked Rider, stroking his beard with interest.

"You could call it that," she said, putting on the special glasses. They didn't do anything for her vision, but they had the same obscuring charm that her old pendant did and her voice had changed enough that Saber might think it was coincidence she sounded like her 'son'.

Besides, Saber had never really gotten a good look at her face until the end. She had made damn sure of that, just to avoid the issue entirely.

Rider laughed, sensing this was quite the tale that Arieen had to tell.

Arieen grinned at him. She might have come to terms with it, but that didn't mean she had to explain things sober.

"I'll explain things when Saber recognizes me," she said cheerfully.

Waver was beyond confused, and it only got worse when Rider decided to burst into Saber and Lancer's fight so brazenly before demanding they join his side.

"RIDER!" shouted Waver in exasperation and horror. What part of laying low did he not get?

Arieen cackled.

"Now that is an entrance!"

It took Waver several seconds staring at Saber, before he turned to Arieen.

"Why do you..." he started.

Arieen cheerfully clamped her hand over his mouth.

"I said I would explain it with proper booze later. Much, much later," she replied forcefully.

Saber looked slightly puzzled, but didn't comment.

"I must decline your...offer...Rider. As a king I refuse to serve another," said Saber.

Arieen snorted at that.

"You find something amusing?" said Saber crisply.

"Maybe if you hadn't been such a prideful ass, your knights wouldn't have turned on you," snarked Arieen. "That entire mess at Camlann was half your fault to begin with, though Morgana's meddling sure as hell didn't help matters."

Saber let out a sharp inhalation of breath, before glaring at Arieen. Arieen couldn't give less of a damn.

Rider was beginning to realize that Arieen's history with Saber was a lot more...troublesome...than he originally assumed.

"Enough! You are clearly not a Master, so why are you here? Witnesses aren't allowed," said Saber.

Arieen smirked.

"I call bullshit. The Church's Observer isn't a Master either," said Arieen. "And let's not get into arrangement Lancer's Master has going on. I know for a fact Kayneth the Asshole brought his damn fiance here and she's not a Master either."

"Silence, you drunkard! You have far less place here than that wayward student of mine!" shouted Kayneth, angry she had revealed such a fact to so many Masters.

"Better a drunkard than a whiny, pompous little bitch like you! I've always felt sorry for your little fiance, I bet she doesn't have much to work with in the sack!" Arieen shot back without any hesitation.

They were not only allowed to kill other Masters, but it was heavily encouraged. Being given an excuse to help Waver kill the prick was all the reason she needed.

Waver...cheerfully sat back and enjoyed Arieen's usual handiwork. No one infuriated people like Kayneth faster than her, and she had taken great enjoyment at using Waver as bait to bring several of the noble assholes at Clock Tower down several pegs.

Waver honestly didn't mind, because when she had learned he had basically sold of everything and was saving every penny he had to get by, she had offered her spare room to him without a second thought.

She hated cleaning, and while she could cook it wasn't her favorite thing to do. Waver had taken her up on the offer in a heartbeat, because he was starving and his current roommate was a complete bastard who had been trying to steal his research notes.

Arieen wasn't entirely a nice person, but she still had a better heart than half the people in his class combined.

He still took her claims of being the Fairy King of Chaos with a grain of salt though.

Something about the blond gave Saber a bad feeling, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Just that she should know her.

So naturally that was the point when the King of Heroes decided to show up and make an entrance of his own.

"Hmph. How dare you mongrels call yourself kings in my presence."

Arieen looked at him for a moment. It was the markings on his armor that tipped her off, as she did read mythology in her spare time. Mostly because she liked translating old runes.

"No way...who the hell had the balls to summon Gilgamesh of all people?"

The golden king looked rather pleased she recognized him on sight.

He smirked at her.

"Perhaps one of you mongrels might be worth sparing. If only to bask longer in my presence."

Arieen grinned as she turned to Waver.

"Completely worth paying for the tickets and meal expenses," she told him. Waver flushed at that.

"How do you even know who that is?" asked Waver under his breath.

"Dude, do you not see his armor? Those markings are clearly Akkadian, from before the time Christianity really took off," she said incredulous. "The only hero I know of that would have that particular dialect on their armor is the King of Mesopotamia known as Gilgamesh. Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass it was to get my hands on even a single chapter to translate?"

Gilgamesh looked incredibly pleased hearing that.

Waver on the other hand rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for reminding me that you're the darling of the Lore department," he snarked.

Either way, the battle between Lancer and Saber was thoroughly ruined. Which oddly enough made Arieen's day.

Cockblocking Saber from any real fights she might enjoy sounded like a wonderful pastime to her.

Though she could have done without seeing Berserker. While that cloak of madness might have obscured his identity from the modern mages, she recognized the armor pretty damn quick.

Once they were back at the Mackenzie house she let out a groan.

"Just my fucking luck. Of course some idiot summoned him as Berserker of all things. Saber is bad enough, but why did someone have to bring that idiot who couldn't keep it his damn pants too?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Waver, confused.

"Berserker. I know who it is," said Arieen exasperated. "Hey Rider, how do you feel about a small beer run?"

Rider perked up slight at that.

"Only if you explain who Berserker is first."

"It's Lancelot. Likely the version of him from after he got busted with Guinevere, aka Saber's wife."

"Say what now? But Saber is a..."

Arieen looked annoyed.

"Beer first, explanation once I've had a few," said Arieen firmly. "Like hell am I explaining any of that sober."

Two hours later...

Waver stared at the sheer amount of hard liquor Arieen had. All of it made his liver quiver in agony just looking at it.

Rider looked at it all with anticipation.

Once Arieen had polished off something that smelled vaguely like whiskey or possibly bourbon, Waver pounced.

"So how exactly did Saber have a wife?" asked Waver. He knew Arieen. She wasn't likely to spill how Saber would know her just yet,

"Long story short, it was a political marriage to help solidify the kingdom. Merlin did some mage fuckery to give her a working dick to consummate the marriage, but it wasn't permanent. If anyone knew Saber wasn't actually a guy, there was no way she could have solidified the kingdom. Hence why she still seems to be about fourteen or fifteen...when she pulled Caliburn from the stone, she stopped aging."

"Caliburn? I thought her sword was Excalibur."

Arieen wagged her finger at him, already on her third bottle and happily buzzed.

"Nope," she said cheerfully. "Arturia pulled Caliburn, the sword that chooses kings from the stone. Excalibur, the sword of promised victory came after. However she always preferred Caliburn over Excalibur, despite the fact that Excalibur is anti-fortress compared to Caliburn's anti-unit."

"What about the sheathe?" asked Waver fascinated.

"Avalon is a completely separate item, and the full potential can only be used by Saber," said Arieen without hesitation. "Morgana stole that before the battle of Camlann, though fuck if I know what she did with the thing."

There was little point in looking for the stupid sheathe when it wouldn't work for her after all.

"Question. How did Morgana have children with Saber?" asked Rider. It was clear that Arieen was suspiciously well versed in Arthurian lore. A little too well versed.

Arieen's grimace spoke volumes.

She immediately down three of the hardest bottles in quick succession before she answered.

"Morgana hypnotized Arturia during the time period she was under the influence of Merlin's magic and slept with her. She then turned Mordred into a homunculus to better the odds of her child reclaiming the throne in her name."

Waver looked properly horrified and grossed out at that information.

"Wait...so basically Mordred is really the product of rape and incest?" said Waver.

"All because Morgana threw a bitch fit over her bastard half-sister becoming King instead of her," confirmed Arieen.

Rider now had a firm suspicion as to why Arieen refused to talk about the subject sober. And how she knew so much about Saber's personal history.

"So Arieen, what do you know about this...Gilgamesh?" asked Rider. "He seems a formidable opponent! And Lancer!"

Arieen blinked, but gladly took the change of subject.

"Well there's very little of Gilgamesh that's really known, even to Mages. Most of his recorded history was written in the Epic of Gilgamesh, and quite a bit of that was pretty much wrecked through the sands of time," she said, oddly sober. "But I do know a bit. He was destined to be a king and held the throne at a young age. But when he got older, the gods became rather annoyed with him because of his arrogance, among other things. So they created a creature to be his equal in every way...their name was Enkidu. Gilgamesh is a collector, and during his initial fight with Enkidu he was forced to use his treasury to it's full extent for the first time."

"A treasury, you say?" said Rider with open interest.

Arieen looked at Waver.

"You said that Assassin was 'killed' by Archer with a large number of weapons, right?" she asked. He nodded profusely. "That matches up. Gilgamesh had a vast treasury of all the world's treasures...he is the King of Heroes after all. Anyway after the fight he declared Enkidu was the only person he would declare his true friend, and the two went on adventures together. At some point something happened to anger the gods and Enkidu died. Gilgamesh was so torn by this he went looking for a way to become immortal and found it...but it was eaten by a snake. He realizes his folly and returned to his kingdom and lived the rest of his days as it's king."

"A wise ruler indeed!" said Rider, approvingly. Goldie might be an arrogant man, but he was clearly a true king.

"What about Lancer?" asked Waver.

"Not much to tell about him," said Arieen. She had never interacted with that one personally, having been covering for Oberon and Titania at the time. "I do know that some woman fell for him over a king who fancied her, and that he was later left for dead because of it."

Rider clapped Arieen on the shoulder in appreciation. Any complaints he might have had to her being in the war with them died with the amount of information she had. Truly a worthy ally in this endeavor!

Even if she was mostly useless the next day because of the raging hangover she had.