Jealous
A/N: Canon-divergent scene that takes place between Episode 9 and 10 of season one, after Beckett's kiss with Will Sorenson. Hope you enjoy!
—-
"I'd like to make a toast," Castle announced, beer raised high in the air. His fellow team, Beckett, Esposito, Ryan, and Captain Montgomery, raised their own respective glasses off the sticky-topped table at their go-to bar around the corner from the 12th Precinct. "It was… a difficult case today. A missing child is…" He shook his head, pushing out a quick breath between his pursed lips. "It's impossible to imagine all the potential outcomes. But it has been an honor and a pleasure to be a part of this team, to see how this kind of case comes together. And I'd like us all to congratulate ourselves for a job well done, and for a little girl saved."
Resounding sounds of 'cheers!' rose up amongst the others, and Castle downed the rest of his drink. He might have had something better to say if he wasn't already into his third beer in a half hour, and if his shoulders weren't still aching at the way he'd pushed them back, tense and squaring himself, prepared to go toe-to-toe with Will Sorenson earlier today. What did Beckett even see in that guy?
He watched her, sipping her bourbon as she smiled at something Esposito said. He wasn't listening. He just watched the way her lips pressed against the glass, and wished he could get the image of her pressing those same lips to Sorenson out of his mind.
He'd heard every word. How she thought he was "interesting." But no, they weren't "together." How Sorenson had swooped in like a helicopter cleared for landing, and how she'd made one feeble attempt to say no, but kissed him anyway.
He should have intervened before the kiss happened. But he was curious to know whether she'd fall for such a stupid line. (He missed her? Yeah right. If Castle had ever had Beckett, there would be no way he'd let her go in the first place.)
But she did fall for it. And she did kiss him back. And Castle's shoulders ached from the pressure of restraining himself from hauling himself at Sorenson like a crazed caveman.
That is, until he couldn't anymore. He'd interrupted anyway with a fake smile, and hadn't missed the guilty look on Kate's face as she shied away. That look had meant something. Castle just didn't know what.
Another fifteen minutes passed before Esposito, Ryan, and Montgomery decided to take off. Castle was nursing beer number four. They slap-hugged goodbye, and it felt right. These guys were starting to become Castle's friends, he thought, and it felt good to talk to them and get to know them outside work.
But it also felt good to have a moment alone with Kate, too. If he'd have invited just her, she wouldn't have come.
But then she stood, offering him an apologetic wince. "I should get going too," she said, and Castle's hand reached out. He placed his fingertips on her forearm from across the table, surprising them both.
"Wait! Just, a few more minutes?" He lifted his drink, shaking it a little. "Beats drinking alone, right?"
Beckett blinked, but after a moment, she nodded and sat back down, this time taking Ryan's seat, adjacent to Castle. She cradled her almost-empty glass in her hand, the original one that she'd ordered an hour ago.
"How's your drink?" he asked, and took a tiny sip of his. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible. Who knew when he'd have time alone with her again.
She pressed her lips in a tight, but friendly line. "It's good. Yours?"
"Good," he replied, trying to discreetly burp. Alexis had always been right about him. He was a lightweight.
They sat in somewhat awkward silence for another minute, before Castle finally dredged up enough courage from the depths of his stomach. He steeled his aching shoulders and asked, "So. Sorenson, huh?"
Her eyebrows narrowed, gaze lowered down into the hands wrapped around her glass. "What about him?" It felt defensive, but Castle had expected that.
"You broke up for a reason. It seemed like maybe… he'd broken your heart once before." Her eyes flashed up to meet his. "I guess I was surprised, is all."
"Surprised?" she repeated, as if she hadn't understood.
He shrugged one shoulder, trying to be the epitome of disinterested calm. But she was a detective and he was drunk. Surely she saw right through him. He wasn't a total idiot. "You let him kiss you."
Her eyes narrowed to daggers. Okay, maybe he was a total idiot. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
"Maybe it's not. But you can do better than him, you know. He's your ex for a reason."
She scoffed. "And what makes you think you know anything about my love life, hmm?"
Castle harrumphed an exaggerated laugh. "Have you seen you? Do you know how special you are? Yeah, it's not rocket science, Beckett. You can do better than that guy."
Beckett's face morphed into one of confusion, all traces of annoyance slipping away. She leaned closer to him, as if inspecting him. Her eyes roamed, searching for hints of any mistruth, anything to make her believe he was being ingenuine.
"Are you… jealous, Castle?" she asked after a long moment. Her tone was attempting to be light, teasing, but Castle wasn't drunk enough to miss the undercurrent of desperation there, too. Of intrigue.
Perhaps it was the beer. Perhaps it was her tone. Perhaps it was just a matter of time before he revealed himself and his true interests in Detective Kate Beckett. But he decided to be honest.
"Maybe I am," Castle murmured, followed by another long swig of beer.
Beckett's eyes widened, "You–" But she stopped herself, gripping her glass more tightly. She frowned.
Castle leaned in, sensing her unease. "He's just– he saw you, realized what he lost, and is just–" He waved his hand around, trying to find the words. God, he needed to stop drinking. "He's just–"
"Castle…" Beckett put her hand on Castle's arm, gripping hard.
"I'm serious, Beckett. The guy's a bad idea."
"I know that," she urged under her breath. Castle leaned forward, until their faces were only inches apart. Beckett licked her lips, swallowing nervously. "You don't know what he did. I do."
"No. I don't know what he did. But clearly he hurt you. And you deserve more than that."
Later, when analyzing who kissed whom first, Castle would swear it was Beckett. She looked down at his mouth before looking back up into his eyes. They were a deep amber, shining with uncertainty. But in the moment, Castle encased his stomach in steel and leaned in, giving her the opportunity to widen the gap between them if she wanted to.
She didn't. Because her soft, velvet lips met his; tentative, slow - nervous, even. He pressed his more firmly to hers, but then she was gone, and he was left pursing into thin air.
He opened his eyes. She looked stricken, but flustered. A walking personification of indecisiveness. One side of her mouth quirked up, like she was pleased, but the other side was still, frozen in time before the kiss even happened.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, and started shaking her head.
"No, don't be sorry," he grunted back, trying to recapture whatever moment they'd just had. He hadn't been ready for it to end.
Beckett grabbed her jacket, draping it over her arm. She flung back the rest of her drink in one gulp. "No, Castle. That's – that wasn't okay. I can't believe–" She shook her head. "This never happened." She shot him a solid glare, one reserved for persons of interest or suspects in her daily homicides. "I mean it. We can't – we can't speak of this ever again, okay?"
Castle didn't know what to do. He started shaking his head, ready to argue, but her eyes grew glassy and it was overwhelming, to be denied by her. Enraptured, he nodded, willing to do whatever she said.
"Okay," he agreed. "Okay."
"This can't happen again," she whispered, and then with a dismayed hand on her own cheek, she turned and left.
But not before Castle saw her fingertips graze her lower lip.
It was better than the alcohol. Courage rose up in his chest, overwhelming him with its heat and its comfort.
She may not be ready for this now. She may claim that he's not who she wants. But he wasn't blind, and he saw the spark that lit up the darkness in her eyes. He saw the way she looked at him, and it was nothing like the way she looked at Will Sorenson.
He'll give her space, he thought. But only for now. Because now, Castle had something even better to cling to than jealousy: hope.
—-
A/N: Thank you all for reading and commenting– they make my WHOLE day! If you ever want to see something played out, I can certainly try! I don't mind taking prompts. I may not get to all of them, but I don't mind taking a looksy! :D